Taking things for granted and the smallest of movements Day 727

Taking things for granted and the magic of the smallest of movements.

One of the things I realized in my journey of playing the violin was at the end, withiin a degree of mastery, the importance of remembering the smallest of movements as being the means to the end.

What does this mean?

I had learned to play, and allowed this to become automated, meaning I took what I did for granted and, in a way, lost myself within what I did. I could not catch up to myself- even within other influences being present of my own acceptance.

I had to basically, go back and re-invigorate myself into the smallest of movements, those tiny tiny little itty-bitty measures. I had to remember them, acknowledge them, which really did not take much time, it could be done in a flash, yet this form of constant cross - reference sustained an awareness that could become automated and as such taken for granted.

This revealed that the smallest of movements, was in deed, the means to the end. Therefor, the smallest became the biggest in importance, and the most satisfying, as that tiny movement was the means to show the greatest subtly, it was as though the smallest gave license to the widest range of expression.

I can understand why masters of disciplines revel in the small, and understand that teaching the smallest of movements, that a person may believe to have no real context - because they have not yet mastered the context - would see small practices as not making any sense. Yet, the smallest is the most precious, because it is the means to the end, in having control within something, as it is the starting point to sense and direct.

I look at this in relation to parents in our present society construct. I have a young dog, who has spent a lot of time playing with water. It appears that he revels in sticking his nose into a bucket of water, again and again and again. He still does this from time to time, yet it is not as intense as it was. For me, it is as though, he revels once again in a past discovery, enjoying the small.

Parents, in our society, tend to forget the small and the awe that a child has in discovering the quality and nature of something, be it water, or an object etc. Where a parent might be folding clothes, teaching a child to order their clothing etc. a parent may do this in a limited time frame in accord with the parent’s idea of how long something may take. The child may come across a piece of fabric, they have never experienced, and may want to take that fabric and revel it. This would play out with the child slowing down, running their hands on the fabric, throwing it into the air, running through the room with it, etc., all in discovering of how this fabric moves, feels, floats, falls, lands, buckles etc, And the child revels in the nature and discovery of this movement, the tiny movements that fabric makes as it interacts in its motions with the environment.

Yet this movement in discovery, does not fit into the parents ideas, and time frame. And, the parents no longer remember the discovery of the small, the joy of the small that builds understanding about and of the nature of reality as the things within it. They have taken this for granted, move in automation and assume the child will suddenly have the sense that the parents have (or never had the opportunity to have, perpetuating a lack of real development!).  Thus, the parents are running on automatic, and become irritated when the child does what is natural and what is necessary to revel in the small, to build a sense of reality- those really small movements that show how things by their nature move in this reality. Those small things that are the details that build this reality- an ignorance of and as creating a person who lacks awareness of how this reality functions leading to a person who lacks real processing of in-formation in ways that they can create, from the smallest of means to an end in any real time goal setting and the necessary steps towards creating.  

Ironically, as masters of things realize, that it is the smallest of movements that are the means to the end, and therefor the starting points that are what is used, in the end, to build the expression.  I mean, have a look, how does one learn a new language? Does one not start with noticing the smallest of sounds, the most subtle of movements, and is not mastery of this the means to the end? Therefor, the small is the means of empowering the self in effective and clear ways!

In some ways, the very design of reality is perfect in form. As the children ( or pets ) come to remind us of the small, to move us into mastery of this world, of this life. Thus, it is important to realize that the presence of the starting point, as realizing the small, as that child, is a gift to and towards self mastery. How awesome that what is here, is the means to the end! We need only slow down and take the time to revel in the smallest of things, as they are , in the end, the means to the end!

Automated time-lines of self accepted information in animation Day 726

In doing a walk though my past, to see, realize and understand how I have constructed personalities within and as me, as movements from my past, where I essentially did not do the math of existence, as common sense, and instead manipulated myself within to compensate for what I wanted in self interest, based on what was coming up within me, as a child, I can see how I moved in desire and protection instead of connecting with reality.

This appears to be such a small movement, and yet it remains and influences subsequent movements unless it is sorted out, as the information I allow to define me and practice, becomes who and what I am. It is like this life is a gift to move within and become intimate with, and yet, this small movement, can have repercussions because it is actually a movement against direct seeing of the world around me. Common sense means to see directly, and it is innate in the capacity of the human physical body. 

Such things are information, as small movements, that can be words, and that can accumulate and become a persona of information, inflamed because it is not of a direct seeing in this reality, instead it is a movement away, a movement of rejection, of fear in facing here. It is a fear of something dying, yet how can what is the gift as life, as self, be lost from here, ever? 

Also, there was a sense, in this memory of this movement away from direct seeing,  as sorting out what is here, even within not realizing that my own movement of separation - as not doing the math- was most likely what I was seeing that was the same as me, that I modeled and participated within and as that was at its root the very problem! How interesting, that I should in space, not see this, or did I? I was being what was the cause, more than likely, that lead me to be this movement of rejection and resistance of a ‘ math’ undone! lol That undone math, would compound as an action, and become what defined me.  This is why the way to life is through the eye-of-the-needle! One must do the math of creation to create. one must play the instrument; talking about it is talking about it, imagining it is imagining it, it is not the doing of the thing, and the magic, the real magic is in the ding of the thing.

What is a time line but rolled up information, I mean, what forms a tree? Is not a story a seed of information that creates an image? I suppose it is blasphemous to question story, because to question is already to be in separation, though a good means of discovery of such actions,  and also, to call something out by name, to begin to look at the parts and the whole and here, oops, something may be discovered. Thus, to question is to begin to move into a journey towards restoring, as reviewing, the math around one.

In this memory, of which I speak, I was moving against the story of life, the storied information as that which creates the seed that is of eternal information that can and is a part of what sustains creation. Another way to say this, is that if I can do the math of separation, I can do math, which means I can do the math, or process the information, of what sustains and supports creation. Such a subtle mis-step. The ways, as movements, reveling the means!

Within this, limitation becomes a welcome means of re-grounding in the practical, as reality, as this is a process of refertilezing a presence lost in limited information back down to earth, to live , or embrace what is here. Within this, my own accepted and allowed resistance to the movement of life around me.

For some, this might seem that one is letting go of something, when what is being let go is a color that is ‘ the color’ of separation from seeing directly and doing the math of here, as creation as the physical. The color, a set body of information that is the cause of friction and conflict in moving in ways that lend a direct seeing and as consequence, participation in creation. Ironically, one of the things I noticed about children, from my adult perspective, is that they love structure and to participate, it is such a natural desire. I mean, we all participate in the separation from life, manifest as beliefs, opinions and ideas rolled up into personalities, inflaming our organs and causing dis-ease. That we continue with actions that are not what is best for all, and thus equal to the act of real creation, is that we structure our separation and participate within it, as this is how things are done! The magic is in the doing, if the doing is a practice of resistance to doing the math of creation, then that is what informs is; in other words it is still a math, and still information rolled up into an entity as the math one accepts becomes personified.  Creation is a beautiful and balanced design, what we create is always here, as this is the gift of life.

If I allow myself to become separate, as the movements I allow that become what informs me, I can see where I would fear that which I am, all around me. I can see where I would fear what is me, that is the same outside of me, and I could see where I would resist this. The only way out is to forgive and do the math.  I mean, look, music is a math, and look what one can do with notes! What is the difference really? 

All I can do is forgive, as self correct the time lines of my actions that built the seed that becomes the information that automates and directs me. Automation in some ways is forgetting , or rejecting, and thus moving without awareness, if I do not check it and ‘ clean house’ once in a while, to make sure everything is in balance. This is the same within playing an instrument, one must check, yet when something is well known, I do not have to think about it, because in essence I am doing it, know it, so well, that the ‘ checking’ is done with ease and very quickly. I could say, that automation appears to be a quick check, as it is something that is so clear, it appears to not be checked, the movement is simply one lacking resistance. It is a perpetual balance. Have a look, while playing an instrument, one is doing, and  must have some awareness within the whole, to balance the parts. Yet, this is an indication of how great the separation from being present here is, that I have a color/idea/value around the idea in my mind of automation being something automatic, when it is myself no longer present and flowing in awareness of the parts and yet, within the process of development one must always check, and that checking appears so fast and moves with such ease, it is simply one’s presence moving through a form in movement in a moment. This point of ease, in a sense, is a point of self mastery and not a machine running without awareness. Thus, I become my own friction within who and what I am as the information that is me, here- that I allowed unless I remain present in checking the information within and without that is me here, as life.

Thus, the solution is to refurbish my presence, as that which accepted the resistances and the justifying movements of separation, back into what I have automated within me, to realize the friction and conflicts, that disrupt being grounded, and then, to change to a math that can move with ease here, and stand here. It is like creating anew.  In space, this time line, this seed , as a personality, will become like a moment of falling, like a child learning to walk, and simply a part of the process of creation, nothing more nothing less.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, in detail, that every move I make, that every thing I accept and allow as a value, of doing the math here, or of resisting what is here, becomes who and what I am, a gift of life, to either become equal and one with and as creation as this physical world around me, that is me, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am life, and as such, able to do the math to understand and express, in equality and oneness with and as life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from life, into and as fear, as accepting justifications as fear, as allowing an inferiority to what is here, and separations as mis-takes on the math of creation.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the time lines of information as movements, as a math, within and as me, are strings of forms, as ideas, beliefs and opinions, causing friction within the movement of me here in this physical reality, and as such can be deconstructed and reconstructed with and as what and who I am as the means of myself here, utilizing sound, as the building block of who and what I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that there is great joy in this act of being and doing, and thus, as who and what I am, as life, I am the capacity to process the information that is here, and what I have accepted and allowed in separation as a forgetfulness of the value being life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have not seen realized and understood how the means reveled the end, and how the means is the same that can reconstruct and deconstruct my own acceptances and allowances, the personification is a math, as movements that can be defined and retuned, to become in tune with life, as the physical is here, to ground me, and allow the presence of me to become equal and one to creation, as seeing creation directly here as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that  doubt is fear, and fear is simply not having enough information, and as such reveals the means to the ends, which is to slow down, to breath, to cross reference and utilize myself as life, grounding myself back into reality, to animate the presence of me, here, equal and one to and with creation, to stand and move through the eye of the needle, into equality and oneness with creation as life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that moment as a child, of a separation into fear, to survive, not seeing realizing and understanding I created within acceptance of and as  my own separation into personifications as being not having done the math, as realizing this was the same around me that was what existed, and was what I allowed to frighten me,  as I see it in this moment, which was myself fearing to let something go, that I defined myself within and as, and instead to simply do the math, as see the information of separation as what I was being and allowing, as the means to solution, and for this I forgive myself.

When and as I find myself  resisting, as a movement , at times so subtle, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand with practice, with attention to movement -breathing- how I am moving myself here as information, to see realize and understand my acceptances and allowances that build resistance and friction in relationship to this physical world around me.

When and as I find myself  resisting as allowing and accepting limitations, I stop and I breath, I call what I am allowing out by name, and I move into solution, calling the solution out by name, the information by name, to ground myself here, into and as the practical, to automate, as animate myself as life, to become equal and one to here, within as as accepting and allowing only that which does no harm, and respects all things, here.

When and as I find myself in conflict, in uncertainty, in confusion, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess the information that I have allowed to define me, that has become me, and I autocorrect, as in call my self accepted and allowed information, out by name, as the word, and I assess as investigate what is here, within and without, as acceptances and allowances, and I stop, slow down, breath, to balance myself , to stop the animation of personalities I have accepted and allowed in separation from being grounded here, present, in this physical reality, to see, realize and understand ‘ right action’ within and as this being what embraces limitations as information to direct in regard, in acceptance of myself as life, a relationship to and as a math, as a song, as what expands awareness and thus presence equal and one to here, as the physical.

The process of integrating information, or the unfolding of seeing directly- pulling strings of information Day 725

What does it mean to integrate something, to the point where the structure is so clear it is a reciprocity of reality? How is that process of intimacy? What are the stages?

What I have noticed within playing the violin is that I integrate with practice, and if I focus directly and familiarize myself with the new movement/form/structure/insight it becomes a part of me. There is a moment before integration, where it remains separate, as not yet automated, meaning I can move through the structure or understanding with ease, to the point where I no longer think about it, or, have to recognize its name, where that point of acknowledgement has not resistances as the new insight into creation, or what is here, is accepted in a clear way. A process that moves faster when no resistances of judgement happen. Usually, this means that I could explain this to a 6 year old. The understanding of the thing is such that I can ‘ build’ a stable and steady outline of it- which is almost like creating an entity to be passed on. Ironically, there appears to me to be a point where within learning something new, before it integrates it becomes like an entity, appearing to be a thing in separation from me, yet it is myself building understanding before integration- which could be called automation. This fits, when I realize the degree of violence in a person is equal to the lack of clear structure or direct seeing. Violence can be considered to be resistance.

As I become more aware of what I accept and allow, and write out the patterns of my resistances and as what I moralize as good and bad, I see my own self created entities that I have allowed to define me, exist as projections within me, as the information that is me and as what I use to direct myself, is realized with greater intimacy as who and what I am/have allowed.

Within this process, lately, while interacting with others, it is as though I hear what the person is going to speak before they speak, as though in having practiced deconstructing my own entries of information/memory/value system of a limited morality composed of projections as resistances of what negate values counter to what I have chosen to define me, I find that I am perhaps entering a phase where I can call such structures out by name in others.

This can appear, overall, to be a state of becoming stagnant, yet in a way, it is the train slowing down and reversing itself. In that turn, it can appear to be chaos, as one transforms from one direction of default into something new. Even though, within this, not realizing how we work, and standing within a pillar of what is eternal, can cause mis-understanding in so many ways, as the process of pulling on one’s strings of beliefs/morality can so easily become unbalanced. It is to listen within principle of self directing within what is best for all. I can imagine to some degree that if one can stand within what is eternal, it would be exposing, as holding that, to the point where there is no hiding, there is no running away, because that would be the so-called ‘ brightest light’. This overall, would move within such a subtle unfolding, it would, from my point at the moment, appear to be difficult, yet it is simply the process of inegration of information. We are, in our capacity, great processors of information. Yet, we have mis-used the imagination, and as a consequence forgotten what it means to integrate, as become intimate with creation.

At the moment, I liken this to eating dandelions. At first, this summer, the leaves were so bitter, yet over time there was so much more to the taste, and the initial bitterness was no longer ‘ an elephant in the room’ - or no longer what struck my senses as what a dandelion taste was. Other dimensions of the taste came forward. In our present palette of tastes, bitterness is not something in our diets, if anything it is something we reject and resist and react to. Thus, naturally that is going to be made HUGE. Yet it is not all that exists within the dandelion. Within becoming more intimate with this plant, in taste, there are other aspects coming forward,  as I no longer react so much to what I rejected as ‘ not being used to, as having acted in resistance to'  and notice greater dimensions of this plant. It was a process that unfolded- so to speak. It is a release of resistances- so to speak, as how I see this. Maybe I am nuts! lol

What this means is that what we practice integrates into us. Unless we are processing the information as it is, we create resistances to aspects of things, and cause conflict and friction, Acceptance of all things, would integrate an awareness of what is real, and create an intimacy with reality. There are points in this development where the new information could be mis-construed as an entity, when it is simply a body of information within which one is focused- reactions within this cause mis-takes and unbalanced presence that is in itself separated from creation.

Within this, memory is made so big, because of a mis-use of the imagination. The practice of being present, to see directly reality, is so unpracticed that it appears difficult, when in reality is is more an action of life than what I have made huge, and what is systematized externally. lol, I exist within an astro turf and use inflammatory language, as the means exposing this- I inflame values and reject others, to hold onto an idea about who and what I am, when what I am is life, here. 

Just as I might write out the opening dimensions of the taste of a dandelion to understand the elements of that plant via taste, using my senses in real time, so I write out the movements within me, of my acceptances and resistances, that I have allowed to define me, to become intimate with how I composed myself into a math, a song, an entity, that is in separation from reality, all evident in my own projections and denial of processing information around me via this shield of rejection of myself as life that by design denads constant support in order to survive. Yet, the means to the end, is to use myself as life, and process my acceptances and allowances and to balance them back into what is real, to then move into understanding form and function of here, this reality. And, at the same time acknowledging the entities of information, that become a part of me, and as information I have not yet processed clearly, as I am not communicating this in such a way that a six year old can understand it. This means seeing the forms, within and without, calling them by name, using words ( that order and lend a means of structuring this within).  If I listen, or practice listening, I can stand steady, making that which is huge, small, meaning balanced, and also realizing this is a process. At this point, I see this as a part of processing information, a sequence where one focuses on integrating something new, and finally, balancing it out and building a clear structure, equal to life, within which one can cross reference, with ease, to check, because automating something, without zip-filing through it, can cause one to lose presence with one’s own construction or what one really is- a physical beingness in expression.

Within this, I am moving around, giving others the means to practice seeing the notes as the composition of reality, as the cells, and at the same time, addressing the entities of separation, as the limitations, of and as what is rejected and resisted and what is the dream as what is accepted as a means to survive, this being an entity of information, inflammatory in its values accepted, and resistant to what does not fit the dream, and yet, this can be manipulated to reach into and give what would be an opportunity to move beyond a fear or overwhelming sense of ‘ bitterness’ for example, to see into greater dimensions of the composition of physical reality. Just as I have learned to realize the values of my subconscious layer of information, so must I recognize this in others, and it is there, projected outward, just as I accepted and allowed within me. This is really an entity of information. It is one thing to direct this within one’s self, it is another to begin to move in this space time and realize this in another- AND, then, to become responsible in grounding into reality, as being the model of focus into what is eternal, just as someone I know has done, and continues to be and do, all around me here. What else is there but to become what is eternal? After all, the real nature of life, of creation would be to exist within what is eternal as a starting point.

It is to say, the process of integration is like the processing  of information and at the same time, an unfolding of awareness of what is here. The steps within this, can build entities of experience, that can appear to be real, as reality, when they are not.  I can begin to see where within understanding the process of becoming intimate with reality, or elements of reality is actually fun as one focuses on dimensions of things to build understanding- the flexibility that is self moving through the eye-of-the-needle, and how entities of ideas, beliefs and opinions are capable of seeming to be reality, thus, cross referencing the stages of intimacy/unfolding /integrating the process of this and what is real, is like learning to play a violin. 

In reality, as where mankind is at, this means understanding the world system, our externalized control form, and understanding this within one’s self. This means looking here, seeing what is going on in this world, relating it to one’s actions on the ground, where one’s actions can change to practice what recognizes resource use, as what one eats, what one purchases etc. It means to follow the money, to realize what that money supports, be it a value made huge that is really inconsiderate of all things and the requirement of basic needs of all life to reach its utmost potential, thereby balancing out this world into an order where all things thrive, making this home an estate for all, so our children/seeds can walk/grow wherever they choose, without fear, and with understanding in how insight into how this physical reality works is an unfolding into greater awareness and equality in supporting life, as creation and the potential pitfalls in the integrating/learning process. It is understanding that doubt is simply, not having enough information, not having enough exposure, not integrating what is real, practicing understanding form and function of physical reality.

Thank you for reading!

Doing My Best Day 724

There was a point within learning to play the violin, where the moment one expanded in ability, one had to move on. It is a point where expansion is realized as having stages, the process moving in a measurable way, It is moving past the moment of awe in a previous expansion and flowing with the whole process of one’s awareness within greater ability, as awareness within what one is doing, focusing on. One becomes comfortable within the process of becoming aware of something, instead of getting locked in to the micro steps of initial moments of expansion, that can create stagnation if the awareness as to how expansion happens has not the experience of the means of expanding awareness as being the steps taken. In other words, one see only the expansion yet has not enough practice in this to see the forest through the trees, as how the practice of placing oneself into new movements and forms is a living practice that has a direct means of growth as greater understanding. 

I have heard the term lately, a lot, as ‘ doing my best.’  This term is bothering me, because I am seeing this as that stage of being in awe of having expanded in one’s awareness yet, the movement is still stagnant in that it accepts a best and revels in it, to the point where there is resistance to continued movement. It is like making the slowing down of a train or state of being into this HUGE HUGE thing, losing sight of the process that lead to ‘ besting’ one’s own personal growth.  It is like to say that one has expanded in awareness and is not yet ready to move into another expansion, which is really an excuse, because one’s life has only so many hours. It is, not wanting to look at what exists, and wanting to control the very momentum around one, in the order of one’s comfort in relation to looking and being aware of reality here. It is wanting to have the whole world move in the order of changing one’s inner construct , or state of being.  Thus, this is a separation, it is a force against who and what one really is, a physical machine that naturally is so able to process information in this real, physical world around us. Thus, the whole idea of ‘ doing my best’ is a subtle contradiction, or counter intuitive state of being in relation to reality.

Today I was looking at this, triggered by realizing a state of being as a memory from my past, and interactions that I have with others, AND a video that came up on FB. The post was about a movie coming out called hyper normalization.  I thought this word relevant to what I had experienced within my own realization to a greater degree ( that has yet more to become aware of) of who and what I am, and this statement I have somehow honed in on, as ‘ I am doing my best.”  

The word hyper for me represents tension, and tension is holding onto something, keeping the strings in a state of tight pressure. It is to say, ‘ I am comfortable here and I am not ready to change this that I have created or allowing myself to move into with understanding, and unless I  have full control I am not going to move forward.” Yet, one is already formed as a physical state, one can focus here, do the real math of here, and become comfortable within who and what one already is! The hyper-tension in living as an idea of being normal, is already a separation from being present. It is an illusion! Thus, being a state of ‘ doing my best’ is an illusion! 

I mean have a look, the stages of grief are a lot, or the same , as the stages of growth. One denies something, fears it because one does not know it, and thus one resists change, and then there is acceptance!  It is the same with improvement, for example, within learning to play an instrument, a physical real, it-is-what-it-is instrument that is not emotional, cannot complain- that is a form as what it is, that works in a very visible and specific way. “ doing my best’ is a statement of separation from one as an instrument of and as life. My physical body is not emotional, when I eat properly, when I listen and pay attention, as FOCUS, here, I can see realize and understand how I expand. I look here. If I do not realize actions that realize this, I do harm.  Really, looking directly at this, means one must face the shadows of resistance to life, within and as our present system without that is a consequence within allowing the denial of and as this!

What I noticed, have noticed, and speak up about, meeting resistance, is how much, and to be specific, teachers say things like “ I am doing my best with what I have” meaning I am doing/directing-myself with the dictates of the state. This is accepting a collective acceptance of a system, a way of doing handed down by people inFORMation ( because the state is people ultimately) and therefor not having to become responsible for myself. This is using the collective to determine one’s self motivation in practice. This is an argument used. YET, when a child does an action that is simply the reflection of what the state ( the collectives acceptance) has handed down via media, as so much hyper-sexualization and has behaviors within such parameters, such as posting a picture of a penis, those very same teachers jump on the individual and counter the action within the individual.  They attack the individual for accepting such actions. They move from the collective reasoning as how they are directed, and yet do not do so with individuals in their care that are simply doing the same as the teachers; modeling/playing out/exhibiting the dictates of the state - as the state, as the PEOPLE- are the ones collectively handing down what one uses, as focuses on, as allows to determine where they are and how they are within a natural ability to expand in awareness of the instrument that is physical that is here, right in plain sight.  The child is simply modeling what is handed-down, as dictated, as allowed, via the media, as a ‘ pornification of reality= we could call hyper sexualization! 

This is classic projection of what one is doing within, onto another, using the collective with self as justification and in one’s immediate environment , when same behaviors come up, jumping to blame and spite and call out by name what another is doing- as though this absolves the self of what self has accepted and allowed, and/or distracting what self is allowing through pointing out the same action in another!  Naturally, when what something is, is called out by name, it no longer has any power- and one need no degree to be able to do this. And, of course, the action, or movement, called out by name, is going to react- just as Rumplestiltkin did when the princess called out his name, he threw a fit, danced around his own fire and burned up! lol. It is amazing how our fairy tales expose our own behaviors! What is real has to be given, so that manipulation cannot be put on the one manipulating as ultimately, it is the one accepting the mis-information ( direction lacking principle of equality- which is to consider all things)  that is not of ‘ right’ action. This is why no one can put Humpty Dumpty back to gather again but the self. 

I have to say, that when I point out this math, because it is a formula, a math. I meet with such resistance to doing the math of this. At the moment it appears as though there is this spin around this, that there is this hyper- state of being that repeats “ I am doing my best’ as a shield of denial. It is hyper/tense/stubborn/resistant and the collective acceptance of this state of GRIEF/ expansion-in-awareness,  has come to be considered as NORMAL.  It is as though we are in a perpetual state of grief, called hypernormalization that actually shows us how we expand and learn, how we can build a momentum in realizing this is how things move, and yet we stand on that line of resistance justifying our own hypernormalization through blaming the dictates we accept and yet jumping on little individual actions around us that are the consequence of a collective acceptance of what is allowed as directives ! This is hiding in the collective and ping ponging between the individual and the collective within what maintains our own acceptance of rejecting ourselves as life.

How is that working for us? What harm and what suppression of life is that manifesting as greater degrees of attention dis-orders in our children? What are we passing down and waiting for someone else to fix, when it is the waiting that is the action holding the separation in place? 

We understand how human development works. We understand that suppression of this sequence in development causes discord with reality, dissonance with reality, and thus behaviors of tension that do not fit into that momentum that leads to self mastery. Everything is known, thus, the statement ‘ doing my best’ is an admission of a choice to not be directed by a principle that is best for all, as in every moment considering all things, taking that which is good, stepping out of the resistance manifest as accepting a dictate from a bunch of people somewhere in a ivory tower that have no real relationship to what is going on right in front of one. This is believing that there is somehow some greater authority than the natural capacity of self to stand in respect of this reality, this practical physical reality that gives the real means of direction within seeing directly here, and knowing within one’s self how one expands in awareness through looking here.  One must stand as who and what one is, a human being, and call out things by name again and again and again, until through all the dissonance this is heard- I mean, is this not what the state does via media and dictates? Is that state not people, as other humans, who cannot possibly know what is happening right where you are, on that piece of ground where one stands. 

What do you want? Do you want to live a healthy, and productive life, with the time and space to have the freedom to understand reality, to enjoy this reality? To step through the view of a storm-in-a-tecup takes self action. When practiced, eventually, one begins to see the forest of memory shadows self has accepted and allowed to direct who and what one is, and can then begin to see the real life, the real forest as the physical, and can no longer accept what is unacceptable, and, at the same time, give direction and/or face the reactions of separation, of ‘ I am doing my best’ and call them out by name to dis-empower the separation and empower the self to stand as what is best for all. This is, after all, the only choice. 

Remaining calm and the illusion of the mind consciousness system. Day 723

There have been moments in my life where I remained calm in certain situations. This means in practice that I did not react to something someone said, these being actions where I resisted and rejected what was said - actions of spite and blame - which is pushing what someone has said away in a form of defense about that given answer or reaction of response. 

Instead, I simply remained calm and assessed what was around me in a more practical way and then directed within that practical application. Often this meant being sympathetic yet not ONLY accepting that sympathy as an end game. This means taking that measure, that belief, that dogma, that math as an idea, usually charged with emotion, as value judgements- always having a rushing quality ( easier to see in those moments of calm for WHAT IT IS WITHOUT JUDGEMENT)  and grounding it in reality. Meaning spelling out in words what would quiet that emotion and give it simple qualifiers towards making fears solvent and making the steps towards solution real real real simple. 

This kind of ‘ state of being’ is usually easier when I have learned this for myself, meaning I have removed mystery, and instead tell of an actual real lived process of moving beyond emotional storms of gloom and doom and fear and loathing ( reactions based on a fear that something can define who and what I am). In telling my story of movement outside of emotional reactions, having walked some practical application, the emotional storm becomes downsized and manageable. The illusion of it becomes so visible and the size of it becomes what it really is, which is really very small, that in the moments of calm, the sense of emotional reactions having no real power is greater and therefor not something to feel threatened by in any way. This lends in this understanding a natural ability to be calm.

Yet, why did I not apply this in all areas of my life? Why what I have been in one scenario I have not become in another? Why, over  time, and practice in living, has it taken me years to realize this to the extent that I practice this more and more? What is it that I allowed - because no one else accepted this for me but ME -  what I so readily see as an illusion in certain moments in my life? It was that same belief, opinion, idea that is a changed value judgement about something manifest as behavior of a loss of a sense of the practical. It is myself living a persona instead of remaining present in the practical - in being equal and one to this reality. 

I mean people, we have had generations attending public schooling and church services. What is in our minds is never reality, it is always about here, it is pictures about here, about this world, it is never ever what is actually physical HERE. Everything that is a thought, that is a projection, that is something coming from within our selves ONLY, is an illusion.

It really is time to stand and say this out loud again and again and again.  The degree of your processing of information ability is the degree of your/our/my presence and problem solving skills.

If you fear driving your car into a city, then you have lost your natural ability to conceptualize HERE! You have lost touch with reality. You have lost your SELF to an illusion of your own construction by acceptance and allowance. The greater your reaction to people, the greater your separation from reality. The greater your inability to change, the more stagnant you are in habituated structures.  You can hear this in the words you speak, and we all know this!  A busy-ness in accepting this in others is equal to the degree within which one expends all one’s life presence into an illusion, and the greater the loss of being able to place one foot in front of another absent a fear of falling!  The greater your inability to navigate this existence, manifest as behaviors of denial as in ‘ I can’t” for which you drag everyone else down with you, the greater is that tiny thing that is an illusion you have accepted and continue to inflame within and as YOU.  The greater the inability to process information the greater the illusion that is what is the distance between you and what is a natural and real ability to process reality, the real information of life.  And remember parents, the children absorb this in great detail if you are moving as an illusion! 

We become what we practice. What we practice becomes automated within our flesh as the math/measure/belief we accept and allow and repeat. When that math is not equal to the practice of a physical formation as reality, then the information that is us, cannot direct us effectively in reality.  When our actions of ‘ paint the fence’ as the small, are not with every breath cross referenced, to always check as respect reality, we can forget what we have automated as repeated as information that is always about something as what comes to program us. If that information is accepted without question, as without always giving attention to this reality, then that information programming us, as it automates us, can end up causing actions that do not fit into this reality.  If we force that mis-information on reality, we become by design cognitively dissonant from reality. If we continue to force this, we lose our natural ability to conceptualize life. Our within, as ideas, beliefs and opinions, become an illusion that we believe to be more real than life. 

Being calm is a cool marker of where one is at. Because, if one cannot become calm in a moment as this is where one reads what is here, being still like calm water, to take on the form of reality, to reciprocate reality, then one is not a master of one’s self. 

Why is it that the media uses so much drama, as gloom and doom made HUGE? Why is so much FEAR touted? Because that state of calm, is so powerful by the nature of it so able to cross reference within and without and move directly into problem solving with such steadiness of purpose that no manner of illusion can block that more direct state of seeing!

We, each and every one, have experienced this natural state of being within us. If we can remember those moments of calm, we can realize those moments of living illusion instead of life. we can begin to process the contrast of being calm and not being calm. And to realize, a passive aggressive calm is a form of suppression, it is not calm. Check the turmoil within!

We can begin to directly explain this to others through indirect actions. This means to share our stories of those moments we remained calm and made the illusions small,  creating actions that problem solved and grounded us in practical actions that were simple to carry out.  Illusion is no mystery as this is a play on words; ‘ mystery’ is really ‘ my storied’ information of which I through acceptance and allowance authored.  In other words, I/you am the one who awe-thor-ed the illusive mist-story/my story/mystery revealed through the degree of the loss of my ability to conceptualize reality! The greater my inability to move with presence and lack of fearing to do things HERE, in this reality, the greater the acceptance of an illusive mystery within and as how I have automated information that is me here.

The solution. Know the math, measure, song, mystery novel one has scripted as information within and as the imagination, as mind, write it out, remove the charged value judgements and script , or rebuild, the math of being present here, in this physical and practical reality that is right here, to ground yourself into life, into living. Relate yourself to HERE. Build a relationship to life as who and what you really are. 

What is on my hard drive? Am I automated information or a master of myself? Day 722

Can one point out a fault and then change that fault if one can stand as a solution, even telling a personal story of the consequence of the fault and then how that fault could have had a different outcome if one also, then, stood as the solution in detail?

Is this not bringing value? Can one face the forms/storm of the justification for the fault in detail catching the glitches of mis-information and direct towards solutions that fill in the glitches, or correct the form that creates that lack?

Before I became a Destonian I was tutoring children. One student I was tutoring in basic math. I would go over fractions with the student and move on. The student would appear to understand fractions as we practiced them - walked the movement and measure of how the forms interacted as the pieces of broken down information.  Then we would move on. Inevitably, the student would start making mis-takes with the information. It appeared to me to be a ‘ gap’ or a ‘ glitch’ in processing in some way. I eventually found out that it had to do with fractions. We would practice them again, and the same glitch would appear.  

Somehow there was a ‘ bounce back’ into a previous ‘ state of being’ or attitude, or idea, or presence within having to process the order and movement of fractions. I decided to practice fractions with the student beyond them appearing to know fractions. Somehow a practice was needed to consistently over time be done to counter a glitch that had become deeply embedded. Thus, I started to do some fraction equations every time we met for an extended period of time, beyond the student appearing to know fractions. I had to reprogram this student above and beyond a normal sequence of learning something new. What this means is that if we learn something incorrectly, it takes longer to rescript/relearn something that was learned incorrectly- or with an emotional polarity. This means that something in the environment cluttered the learning and added a dimension of confusion, or mis-information, or  something blocking clarity. Or the information was partially learned, and the mis-takes from that partial, or insecure understanding created that behavior, as a definition, and that incorrect learning, with the consequential insecurity becoming what defined the personal living practice. Thus, the practice in fractions had become an entity  of lack, or mis-information. These kinds of mis-informational practices take longer to correct than an initial perfect practice.

Our schools, by design, cannot catch these imperfect practices and correct them. Any parent that expects this, is forgetting how this works, and projecting a blame via a demand or desire for the schools to correct this which is in itself the same kind of glitch that leads to an imperfect practice. It is in itself, not looking and slowing down to catch those imperfect practices that lead to an inability to process information- those movements as measures within that can be understood once looked at! I mean if I can do this so can anyone, it is simply a matter of looking into the matter! By looking into the matter, one is looking into the movements and processing ‘ orders’ used to follow through a process. One has to go and look at the sequences in movements and find the skimming, or incorrect ‘ turn’ on how something moves and is formed. This is important because what we do informs us. As we can see, the practice of a lack of inspection of something, causes that movement to become what directs us.

Usually we know when something is not clear. 

In one set of business talks it is said to realize that what tension builds in one’s solar plexus is either that one is in fear, or that one does not have enough information. Really both are the same, one is protecting a lack of clear informing of self and the other is realizing a demand for more investigation.  One of the problems allowed is that this whole process in itself is ignored, which causes more problems, as these things accumulate just as the imperfect practice accumulated in the student. In so many ways, the physical is a gift because it reflects  whether one is connected or not. When we are truly focused we are what one might call ‘ happy’/fulfilled- filled with creativity.

If one is not investigating into what leads to a perfect practice, or clarity, a spin of justification happens, taking up the space that could be used to correct the mis-take on a perfect practice. And to realize that a perfect practice is often realized to be a practical practice. That kind of practice where one realizes in a moment such responses as ‘ why didn’t I see that”, or ‘ that makes so much sense!” lol

I was at a meeting of teachers. There was a speaker who was bring forward theories about teaching. One theory was to make things small, into” bite sizes” for the children to practice. This teacher held her arm out and said “ make things within arms reach’ . The statement ended there. This is a theory. Something like this sounds pretty.  Saying something like this to a child is meaningless because it has nothing in it that gives the specific directions within a given practice, such as fractions. It sounds cool and it sounds good, especially to a consciousness of information that plays with ideologies made theories.  The theory becomes a hope that holds one up for a while, as it has a truth that lends a sense of promise in a mind construction built of theories without a real mastery of practical practice in the specifics of fields of understanding real living things in this world.  In this our schools have become places of  memorized information built from theoretical ideological practice- where the parts are not necessailry bad. A perpetual cycle that is in itself devoid of any real focus on reality, on real mastery of and as what one teaches or speaks of.  Astounding really that we have allowed this. Remember, no one can put humpty dumpty back together again but the self. What we accept and allow is what we become, and when we ignore what we become, which we are always aware of,  becomes what we are as well; a lack of information that does not fit into real living. 

In other words, an inability is a lack of real detailed practical practice. A lack of opportunity within this, causes a lack of self directive capacity ( a natural capacity) . A busy-ness of lots of theoretical information causes the same lack of capacity as the opportunity appearing to be given was in itself not grounded, or an imperfect practice. This is what is meant by the statement that Americans are educated just enough to believe they are educated and yet they are not. It is essentially a busy-ness of a limited and thus imperfect practice. The problem with the busy-ness practice is that it fills up space with theory as the mechanism communicates what it has practiced. We are very similar to tape recorders, we simply express what we practice just as that student expressed a lack of  holding a perfect practice in processing fractions. 

Because of this inner train of running information that is formed into a con-science, meeting that lack built of a story chasing a promise as the subtle truths inherent in the imperfect information/practice I must answer to that storied lack.  And I have to do this within the fairy tale, the airy fairy mis-information tale. I have to direct in mis-information and practice the correction, or give the correction. And I have to stand as it no matter what. It is a lot like leading a section in a group, remaining steady and yet aware, remaining focused on the math in the moment, holding it.  This means becoming a master of one’s will. This means never ever going into blame. This means, just as with this student, grounding in the practical until it is stable, and even at times above and beyond an appearance of stability. 

Because I am a product of this system, which I accepted and allowed, this means for me that I must always check within myself when I tend to go into fear, manifested as a righteousness  that tends towards protection and defense as resistance to answering to lack. Sometimes I notice that I remain calm and answer from a state of calm, and yet as the continued scream of lack is ongoing I begin to become agitated. This is myself getting caught up in the ideological train raging away.  What begins to make facing this easier is simply accepting it without judgement, and understanding that this is what is going to happen because this is what has formed and that form must voice itself to see itself- so to speak. Thus, it is for myself to realize that yes, without doubt, the lack of proper information is going to surround me, it is going to come, it is going to not magically disappear ! It is a gift in a way, because it allows the opportunity to fine tune to and towards a perfect practice into a balanced whole, where the con-science of how all of this works becomes a con-science of life, meaning seeing this practical world directly and within this, leading to decision making, or self direction that respects reality. This means grounding the math of a measure of separation via limitation back into the practical information of this physical existence.

What has been made so huge is really very very small. The focus on what has been constructed within ONLY is the separation that is causing the problems we have in our society, our world. I mean look, if we have people in America showing us their water is brown with the advent of fracking then fracking is not a good practice. If we have someone like Bernie Sanders pointing out that we can move vegetables around the world and yet cannot bring pharmaceutical drugs across a neighboring border then something is seriously wrong. If we allow bureaucracies to believe that building human infrastructure to change what is not working is too hard as an excuse than we are placing value on our individual survival instead of solving problems. I mean this is why the word administrator has the sound admitted traitor- because managers tend to not be on the ground and instead stare at their own formations wanting that to fit into reality despite contradictions in living practice of reality and the means of change being practical actions done on the ground.  Managers of systems are not usually the ones out there in the field actually walking the reality, the practice, the creative movement that is the change. They are usually in offices away from the field, moving as ideas, and can come to believe that they know, from there up high on their platforms, when they do not know they have not walked the small practical meeting of resistance in the field as consequences of harm , or lived and seen the detriments of their paper  rulings/measures/forms. They become blame and spite instead of being solution-in-the-small-steps oriented They then begin to aggrandize and believe they know, and instead form all manner of ideas they want to place into practice from a starting point of not having done the actual real practice themselves!.  It is a classic situation. The solution here is to separate practice from management, where management follows practice. 

 In reality we can all physically see this, within ourselves and in others. There is a form of constriction in the physical body, a vortex like movement that can have a presence of a racing train, in that it starts to rush information, projecting it forward. Some do this silently, yet the magnetics of this in space can be sensed if we were not so much in our heads chasing trains of thoughts that we admit in the practice of ‘ mindfulness’ need not define who we are. We can see the outplay of this in conflict, especially in our relationships to all things. When we cannot communicate in ways that lead to practical solutions we are in separation;  every part involved must see the solution and the necessary steps to walk the solution- which takes time and patience and change. We can see behaviors of separation from real living, in how we cast down our eyes and spin them around as we read our limited set body of information within instead of taking in what is around us in form and order. We can see this in the sudden spastic movements in our arms and body and legs and hands. We can see this in a rising anxiety in relation to information another expresses, where we tend to interject and stop listening. We can see this in how we have not heard a single thing another person has said. We can see this in how we are told we are not listening, which is really ‘ my way or the highway’ scenario at times. We can see this in how we do not slow down to define terms to make sure we are on  the same page, or, within this, how we do not want to take the time to slow down and define terms because this means LOOKING at ourselves, using a natural ability to assess and reform because reformation means looking at our own self interest and/or realizing our desires were not what was best and considerate of the life around us- as everything around us is life.

Our physical bodies are perfect information processors! 

Solving the mis-takes of each part means standing with that part and imparting a body of information that lends to a will of an awareness of respect for this reality and the habit of a practice that focuses one’s self on this reality.  It means to follow the math of here, understanding the separation into a small mis-take on reality, and walking that mis-understanding back  into a living practice, here.  One could say this means becoming a culture of life.  Thoughts create habits create actions. What math have you accepted and allowed to define who and what you are as the directives you make? Are you running in automated information or are you aware of and master of accepted and allowed information?  Do your actions consider all things? Is your presence respecting this physical reality?  Is there tension and pain anywhere in your physical body- your hard drive?  We know who and what we have accepted and allowed. It is time to change and become a steward of this physical life, here.

Thank you for reading!

Day 721 Never Telling a Lie. Brutal Self Honesty

 Never telling a lie and smiling. Brutal Self Honesty.

This summer I asked myself what it meant to really smile. I started to pay attention to when I really smiled and when I did not.

I realized that when I could smile with ease, I could hold it, meaning I was more at ease within what I spoke, what I spelled out, what I wrapped my mouth around as words that built ideas, beliefs, and opinions, reflections, transposition of imaginations, reflections of reality etc.

I could use this to realize when I was not able to smile in such a deep way, as when I could not hold onto what I said in such a way that what i said could withstand time, or could stand eternally. I could also see more of when I was not clear within myself.  I could acknowledge when I had not done enough investigation or assessment- leading me to be okay with saying that I needed to investigate more in a given context. 

It also demanded that I listen to my own reactions within myself to a greater degree. Speaking became more of listening to myself and others, and taking care with what I said. 

Last night I was at a Toastmasters meeting. There is a section in the meeting called ‘ table topics.’ I was called up to speak and received a prompt that asked me about laughter. It asked if I laughed enough. I stopped. What i had been working on came back. I looked out at the audience and said, “ this is the perfect prompt for me!”

Standing there before a group of people, I could relive what I had placed on the side and forgotten and bring this back, remembering that I had worked on using my physical body to help me focus on what I could stand within that had a more eternal quality; that was the difference between a real smile and an automated smile.

When I speak in a way that lends an easy smile, what I am saying is more grounded and something that I need not fear proving or remembering. It is the same as never telling a lie. 

What does it mean to never tell a lie? It means to be clear, to check one’s self to see if one is not being honest. It means disclosing one’s fears, if need be. It means checking to see if I am acting in self interest, realizing that self interest in terms of ideas I have about myself as a personality, are being protected or related to what is best for myself as what and who I am as a physical being that is in human form before the cultural values I have accepted and allowed to program who and what I am - that did not direct from a starting point of considering all things as me on what is in living a form a physical reality, a physical expression of form. Never telling a lie means, stepping outside of a mis-use of my imagination into limited ideas of role play, realizing that what my first role/ ‘ measuring rule’ is towards the very form that is me, a human being on a physical plan-it. This means that whatever plans I accept and allow must respect all things here in this community of life called earth, so to realize no harm and ONLY that which supports all life.

What does this mean on a world stage? This means that any practice that does harm is unacceptable. This means that any plan that suppresses existent LIVING FORMS by any means, be it economic, or political and religious, is a dogma in separation from reality and therefor unacceptable. This means that actions that pollute water are unacceptable. This means that spaces that separate one from nature and this living reality are unacceptable and must transform in peaceable ways to and towards what respects what we are here on this earth; physical living potentialities that are life and therefor the capacity to live what is best for all. Why would we have a media that by design and nature constantly pushes and forces and drives and touts measured set bodied forms of information with musical drama and emotional rants over and over and over again? And why do we accept this ? It is all a lie, and that lie is not birthing happy and healthy people FOCUSED HERE- where one need never ever tell a lie. Thus, our degree of real joy in expression is equal to the degree of respect we give to what we are, manifest in acts that rather than deny and punish, support and direct into an understanding that gives each the opportunity to stand  in such a way that one can make decisions that do no harm to self and others. This is being focused here, on this physical world. 

It is so simple, yet in the chaos of separation, this simple state that is natural, is forgotten. The solution is to realize one’s self accepted and allowed limited math/constructs/formUla’s of gloom and doom, blame and spite, resistance and rejection as a inner construction that one projects from the living flesh of self out onto this world, allowing this to determine habits that lead to actions that are not what is self in self expression as life. What is the practice of ‘ mindfulness’ actually telling us? If we are not out thoughts than what are thoughts? Is a child born with thoughts? No. They are created. What we create, we pass down into the genes of our children. Is this why there are more and more cognitively dissonant children  one could call having attention deficits? Why is the simple so hard to realize? Because that valley of good and evil, is being projected by men, by the self!

Why are we placed into enclosed spaces to learn to express knowledge and information without practical application? Why do we have so many problems in communication with one another?  Why do we have little patience to learn something new? Why do we find it so difficult to MASTER something? Could it be that the consequence of abdicating who and what we are has lead to a fictional self imposed on the physical, and automated because just as a master automates a perfect practice, so does an imperfect practice! 

 It works the same BOTH ways! 

I can no longer fear standing up and saying this in the most practical of terms. I can no longer fear calling this out. IN calling this out, it will lose all power it has, this fictional inequality to this living reality that is the gift of life. As has been said so many times, and for many centuries, where better to hide what is real than in plain sight. What is HERE and is visible, is that proverbial eye of the needle. 

If you cannot really really smile an eternal smile, you are not being honest, you are in essence telling a lie. No one can become what is eternal within you for you. Only you can do that.

Join Desteni, deconstruct your construction of separation from reality, become living words. Save yourself, accept your SELF as life. The way to never ever have to lie again is to see the consequences of having lost the smile, to understand what imbalances lead to the loss. This is the gift of life, the opportunity to stand one and equal to and as self as life, here.