tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-252807556559808452024-03-13T15:07:18.337-07:00a widows journey to lifeRebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.comBlogger862125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-38800617322571342052021-01-27T11:08:00.000-08:002021-01-27T11:08:14.228-08:00Day 863 Working on perfecting connection and how the past reflects the difference.<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">I realize that I am living in the past, and that this living in the past has shame and guilt and a sense of a loss of myself as life.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">I realize this within reviewing the raising of my children, while they are no longer in the home and off in the world doing their own things, for which I am grateful as they appear to be holding their own.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">This period of sudden review, within the recognition of my past focus on the children being something that basically consumed my attention, is reverberating within me.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">There is a sense of loss, and yet, I realize that all sense of loss is a sense of loss of self. Somehow, within this “ review” that is the real underlying issue. I talked with another mother recently and she acknowledge that when there is any degree of friction between herself and her now adult child, it hits deep. Behind that is guilt and shame. I mean why feel these things, or have these thoughts and movements coming up if things were in an order that brought one joy instead of guilt and shame in relation to past roles played and experienced?</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">Despite understanding that my emotions and feelings are of energy and thus of polarized belief systems as a system of default to survive, the movements within hold pictures and somewhat unclear amorphous memories about the past, as those movements lived that perhaps were in a dream instead of being present and equal to who and what I am in this life on this physical planet. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">One of the things I remember, are a couple of years of stress in relation to raising my children. The worry about forming them to the extent they became adults that could self direct and remain happy within that ability. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">One memory is of the joy inherent in my first child. A joy that I am not sure remains but in tiny moments within this child’s life. I know this remains within them, yet I am also aware that this was placed on the side in order to ensure, based on beliefs, that this child would survive in this present spider-web system superimposed on this earth as a system of value judgements instead of focusing on the real value that is this life that is all the things of this earth, as creation manifest.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">The present systems are simply a manifestation of what humans have accepted and allowed. A system that ignores the practical living physical reality that is a fabric of flesh and tissues that can respond with abundance were this considered to be of value in totality. And yet, ideas, that are of limitation, are valued more than all things. This becomes more evident in how the education system is one that uses imagination instead of real living connection with the very fabric of the reality that is here all around us. I mean, we use resources to fabricate florescent lights in a box, to then force feed a narrative via memory into our children. Is it not blatantly obvious that we are shutting down the senses and overusing imagination? We then walk through our lives living in a resonant bubble, separate from who and what we are. It is a simple mis-take, one that indoctrinates humans to serve a slave master, evident in the gross inequality existent on earth today. We have a large spider in the room, as an analogy here, that has clocked life in a thin web and we believe that web is reality. It is a thing of consumption that has no regard for life. And why? Because a mirage did not want to die, or accept what is reality. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">My experiences of late, help me to realize that connection with others requires physical proximity. Somehow in such a measure, one is more able to listen to the other person, and take the time to find common ground to them and open up and bring forward one’s unique expression, which if developed would help each one to self realize who and what they are. Thus, it makes sense that a system of separation and as such a default of life, would move to ensure that humans have as little contact with one another as possible. It is a system of suppression of the innate senses of the human, the senses reading what is here a the physical and building better intentions that then direct the human to make choices that are of greater benefit to that person’s life. Or, one could say, the more humans connect in ways that lack stress, the more what I call the spider - web is exposed. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">In a recent meeting, I could listen to another person talk and at the same time look more at the tensions in their physical body, especially around the mouth. I even talked about this. I was more able to look that in the face, and see that in myself and not be as moved by it as I was before. In a way, it is being afraid of a ghost in the machine, a past, an event that is no longer what is here in the moment. I could see the same constrictions within myself, and the relationship of this to my children. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">It is a deep sorrow, which is a sadness which in itself exposes a default system, followed instead of resolved. I would say it was not one way, as I realize the mind has this tendency to turn things into absolutes, thus I can go down the rabbit hole of this and realize it is not ONLY what was lived. And, that it need not define who and what I am in this moment here. I can hold the regret and be here, and make choices here in this moment, that are not the same movement as that which built that inner sinking and constrictive movement within me. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">I feels like trying to change a direction while there is still that heavy movement within myself. Most likely, there is some memory I continue to avoid. And/or, it is something that is working itself out over time, as this is the way of recognition ability and realizing actions that would cause no lingering weight. It sometimes appears as this striated thing going on within me. Some things are more clear and yet, there remain webs of unclarified past events. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">To some extent I feel that this is mirrored in the present events happening on earth. It appears that agents of change are moving while the past remains performing its contracts, refusing to realize that something different is in effect possible. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">It is fascinating, because my body mirrors this in other ways too. My one foot is inflamed and red, it is a layer of skin more than the bone or some inner tissue. Like I am walking in the spider webs but have some clarity in other movements. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">I also looked at and walked through a memory from middle school. And yet that memory kept coming back. Yesterday, I realized it was a moment within then memory that brought the memory back again. In that memory I was walking down a hall way, wearing my first pair of then popular platform shoes. I suddenly realized that no one really noticed, and that my choice was driven by some idea in my head and as such was a false promise. Then I had to look at the behaviors as a reaction to the other extreme to never do that again. But that was not the point, the point was that in that moment I was more in a state where I looked at the whole and the moving parts. I realized no one was really noticing, which from one perspective was cool, because shame also came up in that moment, but also that overall, this was sad. It was sad because everyone else was walking around in the same performance like state that was I ! No one was really paying attention to anyone else! </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">To come full circle here, this is really about an issue that I have been working on, which is within the word, connection. How does one fully connect with others? I suppose I answered my own question earlier in this post. One slows way down and communicates until a state of calm comes forward, and a sense of what is unique in the other is realized, somewhat like having a clear definition of a word, where that word stabilizes rather than triggers confusion, protection and reaction. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">A child would be able to do this more readily, and that existed before the personalities of sorrow or sadness came to define me in a moment of review. From this point forward, that would mean the focus of myself would be to make those kinds of connections and, as happens, in the next moments when saying farewell and the personalities bounce back, to not react in any way, because one connection was made and that can have an enduring effect overall. Thus, this is a 1+1 movement that will grow, as in the law of compounding effects, this will become what defines life here on earth. And thus, I walk and practice making connections until the focus of our innate expressions of and as life become in sync with life here.</span></p>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-47404083625225254772020-12-22T05:58:00.004-08:002020-12-22T06:20:36.338-08:00Day 862 Finding my own words. What does it mean to be of sound mind? <p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">Everything is a math, a geometry, a form. Everything has a function according to its form. When a wild animal paces in a zoo, it is because its very form is not given license to express itself. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">The same could be said of children acting up in a classroom. The space, the venue, the isolated artificial light filled with second hand information mis-uses the form and function of the fundamental sentience of the human child. Thus reactions happen. The use of the language missing the living words that lend a more ordered expression of the form that is the human child. And, the body of the human being of water, and salt, the past is imprinted, information as experience is imprinted, and “ follows” with the child. Thus, there is an absence in an isolated box called public schools as they are “ ordered” today of real information, and an absence of the living forms that is what the child is a part of as this physical reality, and a resonant image of all that came before that moment from a system lacking recognition of how this all works. This is basically the creation around us. We are ignoring how this that is in plain sight actually works. Even those playing god cannot win at the end of the day. How this creation actually works must be worked with. Plain and simple. It makes the media and conspiracy theories one and the same, because unless there is a direct relationship between the physical things of this physical living reality, time loops of information become distraction and what is real is ignored leading to an overall death. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">This also reveals the incredible and amazing sensitivity of the nature of life itself. It also allows one to realize that all the shadows within one can be let go, because they are of a past, at the moment, that is a chaos because of a lack of looking here, directly at this living earth.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">This frees one from past “ trauma.” It means one can breath through what is coming up within, and then, once one is able to breath through a time-line of resonant information, one can then step in and look at the projected resonant memory. One becomes a discerner of what is coming up from within. And one can breath and at the same time, look here, remain in this living moment here. One must recognize the difference and then face the “ dragon.” lol, face what is “ drag-(ed)-on by one’s acceptance and allowance. It is to realize that nothing can define who and what one is as a form and function of and as a sentient state of being. At the end of the day, the shadows have no real power. Reminds me of seeing a demon one time, who was a man, a gentle man before I myself projected an idea ( with no spoken word) that triggered this “ dead” beings projections. They looked like these kinda whispy things jutting out in front of the increasingly angry used-to-be-a-man ( as opposed to a woman). It was too late at that point, I already realized that sudden storm was a gentle man’s innocence behind the storm and that this “ thing” could NOT touch me. It was an absolute. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">Then why can I still be triggered, as someone did in a few months ago. I watched this storm coming up from within me and before it “ erupted” I went into breath. The essence of this within me was a fear. At the moment, I wanted to go into full combat mode, but know enough to understand that moving in that reactive and accusative way was not an option. I was too busy in that moment processing what was erupting within me to see beyond the point and realize a solution. I also realized that the triggering storm near me, was already in full swing. It had to “ come back down to earth.” Meaning, it had to become calm or it would only be fed, which was the opposite of solving the problem.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I ask myself why I went into “ shield” mode myself? There is a " knowing" real way to process the time-line of projected ideologies covering up a separation from innocence, that gentleness that was more “ pure.” It is visible, thus the secondary projections are a mirage, in a way. A mirage can be seen though one must change the lens of one’s focus. Yet, as it is, we humans have shut down our natural sentience, and have mastered seeing the projections. It is a zombie apocalypse, meaning we are all walking around in resonant bubbles composed of time-lines of information. We have become masters of shadow workings. No wonder the animals hide from us. Do we look like a walking “ bright light” that leaves a dirty sooty smudge in our wake? Probably. If I were an animal in the wild I would probably run and hide too. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">The idea of opening up one’s heart to stand equal and one to the projection and at the same time maintain a grounding in seeing the innocence is most probably what an open heart can do. This is the foundation of and as the statement “ forgive them for they know not what they do.” I wonder if Christ, who was a man, could actually see this. And are there others, somewhere, who are also able to see this? Is this what the fantasy of and as the “ force” is able to be and do? Is it simply a matter of FOCUS? I would say, one would have to give everything up in order to realize this. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">This point, of and as “ nothing can define me but what I allow,” was prominent in my early forties. It kept coming up in moments. I suppose I started to realize on some yet unconscious level, that things being per-formed in front of me did not have to be taken seriously. Meaning, in some ways, they need not define me, and because of that I could respond in a way that did not take such presumptions seriously. There was a noted resistance in relation to addressing what is a state of separation from reality. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">Yet, I had probably used manipulation because I was answering to the projection. All those years in school were simply a regurgitation of information - information that was not enough to really expose how all of this works. As has been said, by thirty, the energy generated by the shadow zombie separation-from-self human had already fed their life energy into the present system. I was already all used up. Life has a way of self realizing, we do in time, or standing in this space, begin to discern the patterns. Hence all the suppressive drugs being souled/sold? Is there really any real health today? </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">So many epidemiological studies recognizing patterns and yet a lack of follow through to discovered correlations. And a bureaucracy that stagnates to create a fire-wall of not-allowing-the-information into the “ records” under the guise of a “ lack-of-funds.” The perfect multi-leveled gated marketing system game plan to hold back the discernment of a natural sentience. Meanwhile, that same system demonizes multi-level marketing. We can, at the end of the day, only speak of our experience. We mirror what we allow. That projected anger, as it will always be anger because that is the consequence of a loss of self, it is so busy per-forming a projected picture show that that is all it can speak of! The words are not living words, they are polarized value judgements that are a video game, with time-lines as strings of information, all of which will not remain at death. It simply has no real longevity. It is an inner tornado, an inner constructed FOCUS - the children absorb from the parents, mirroring their environment- that defining of terms that one can get lost within, or an absence of seeing where else to go. It has no real eternal quality. It is like a whisper in the wind, and nothing else.</span><span style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcd2fL54TZk-t2gMsOLLQTWZgn5XngcRiRjXfuZ27L_XJGHCUl61GufimnwX9m-yCF9K6QYgUhN0Y0AO8Mv1WA85L-FAeG0Weq5Hcz-amQR-jP2PmdutpY1F8JPClNwwY1CdhGCoz7qMw/s640/Photo+on+2013-09-09+at+08.55.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcd2fL54TZk-t2gMsOLLQTWZgn5XngcRiRjXfuZ27L_XJGHCUl61GufimnwX9m-yCF9K6QYgUhN0Y0AO8Mv1WA85L-FAeG0Weq5Hcz-amQR-jP2PmdutpY1F8JPClNwwY1CdhGCoz7qMw/s320/Photo+on+2013-09-09+at+08.55.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: 18px;"><br /></span><p></p>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-28716701810344378352020-11-11T05:00:00.001-08:002020-11-11T05:00:09.959-08:00Day 861 Scattered information and times lines of belief are visible. <p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">It has dawned on me that when someone makes a statement that one must use stories to share information, or as information, to expand awareness of reality that the very need for stories means one moves, or is directed more by images, icons, symbols. Like we are a computer, or an organic robot. Meaning, we are allowing a whole “ tradition “ ( past ) as a cultured layered system of past rituals or self beliefs around what we should be or look like or do or think determine our self definitions. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">Meanwhile, with both of my parents, I notice that at the very end of their lives, they begin to speak of nature more. They suddenly want to be around nature more. My father, for example, in the summer before he died, he planted a vegetable garden without being told to do so. He did it with intent. He also requested to go out and be in the yard days before he died. This contrast of suddenly wanting to be in nature as though it was the most important thing is telling of what is real. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">What is happening within us, is all around us. We are distracted from nature in the way we work, in the way we educate our children, in what we watch, or what is promulgated as a “ more” on the television. The one thing all these so-called government and corporate systems are doing is controlling the resources as the physical living natural world. That same system supports its interest as playing god as it is by design the means of separating the human from itself - which is accepted and allowed by those who participate within this. Even the animals we eat, they are removed from nature. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">In place of this, is a story line, of many varying symbols, that informs our flesh, being that which removes our focus from what is real, as that which the systems we allow are attempting to own. It is a reflection of what is resonant within us. The division causing a society scattered into polarized beliefs citing narratives as a set body of information that are end games, or absolutes. We are so engrossed in such that we no longer have any presence left for nature. That which is most real, and allowed to be fought for, is that which we are allowing ourselves to be most separated from! It is in plain sight! We are multi dimensional beings, we do not need to move to some other dimension, we simply need to restore our presence to focus on this physical living reality. Within that we restore our innocence which means we realize ( real eyes instead of reeling eyes! - and studies on reading development had looked at eye movement as all is visible! ) all things, taking the good and ensuring no harm. In such a world everyone could live like a millionaire! </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I notice in working with people, that there are moments where what I call a shock happens. It is a form of an uncovering. A moment where something elemental comes forward. That word “ elemental” or specifically “ element” is coming up lately for me. It is hovering around me at the moment. That and a realization of how scattered things are, as so many stories about the past come forward. And these stories have subtle parallels. I can get caught in following these parallels, and yet, somehow, that is necessary. Yet a presence must be realized in what is constant and real, as the physical. It reminds me of playing an instrument. The stories, from many dimensions, being in the space, as political games, and personal insecurities, and conductors being drunk, and the bass player being off. That and my own personal issues that can in a moment interrupt focus. The actual thing, the doing of that thing in the moment, is at the end of the day the most real. Focusing on that, brought forward a constant. Even within realizing my own automation. It was important therefore, to go through the basics every day, those basic scales and arpeggios, checking the balance, that was what supported myself in entering the arena of performance. If something in the space was off, that fundamental focussed practice held myself through any form of what was a loss of focus. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">Within this, it would make sense that it is possible to stand equal to a projected story line of symbols and sort it out, ground it back into seeing what was real. Like removing something that causes a loss of focus, or something that would create a veil that distracts a being from standing equal to what is real, and what is constant and what is a living thing. Thus, why fear something like this, when the state of being such in itself would be a state of fear? It cannot define one in any way unless one is unstable one’s self. Is this a state of being unstable because of being a walking resonance of layered storied information that had lost all connection and focus on the natural world? That one thing our present systems are not only distracting the masses from but also building a paper castle of treaties and bonds and financial systems and governments that can ONLY SAY they own something based on a piece of paper having a bunch of symbols that can only suggest that they own this or that! It is all an illusion at the end of the day! And, it shows that poverty and starvation and habitat disruption should not exist in any form. Child abuse and disease should not exist, it is actually unnatural. The narratives hiding behind statements like “ no significant difference”, or double speak as in the vaccine scenario where it is stated that vaccines are effective and yet at the same time stating there is always risk/harm. It makes no sense, and yet, many believe this to be true - which is a following of a storied set body of information the outcome of the very design of public schooling. Why wait until we are on our death beds to realize the one thing that is the most real? </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that how I learn is by placing my focus and my attention onto what is a form and function of the practical physical living reality all around me, and that this is the real constant, something that is more real than the images and traditions and rituals that are the cultures based on the past around me, and the imagery that is pushed through a tube that is the math of a system organized by a few to own that which cannot ever really be owned but by a lie-by-omission and a piece of paper manufactured from a tree, covered in symbols that are not in alignment with the real living forms that build a tree that lives its life in synergy with the physical earth as life in expression here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the projected layered stories of information resonant in each human at the moment, that are around me, in a fear of exposing my own self accepted symbolic road map imbedded in my flesh to get along and go along, where speaking up about that might just trigger a reaction in another as end games and absolutes express as reaction because that is all that has ever been lived, one that is all illusion, and a story that is limited, extremely limited as that consumes the host, as mis-information causing separation from being present and in awareness of all things as the physical living breathing earth here as earth is the real heart of the matter here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to, in a way, become elemental, meaning to become still and present to direct myself focus onto the moving parts of what is here, as what is separation and what remains within what is constant as the physical reality that is who and what I am here as life is physical.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that a scattered story line that is always of limitation is too much, and that the emotional/feeling confirmation biases of those resonant shadows that are much like a ritual or a tradition are something larger than life, when in effect they are actually tiny, and as such could be stood equal and one to, to mirror the state of limitation that is them, as it is possible, just as we humans are standing as these complex amorphous shadows, that are seemingly complicated, means that we are able to stand equal and one to complex forms and balance them out to be an expression that is of the same constancy as that of a tree, a tree being something that pays no rent, pays for no insurance, pays no taxes and yet gives unconditionally, here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must defend and maintain a suit of protection, to get along and go along with what is essentially a very limited storied set body of knowledge and information that has become a floating entity of illusion that basically has no real power in any way.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to in relation to that, not see realize and understand that any sense of weight or falling or things being too much is in its very focus an indication that a state of separation is what I am accepting and allowing in a moment, and thus I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I breath in the forms and the movement, and I take this apart and redirect in ways that restore a natural presence, as much as I am able, to stand one and equal to what is here, and at the same time to remain constant with what is a complex form that is the embodiment of life as the physical natural reality here as that which is in plain sight.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that just as I learned to ride a bike, which took what , less than a couple of hours, am able to grasp and understand what is moving here, as I also learned how to crawl and to walk and to talk here as I as a form as a human can understand what is here, and as such speak to and of what is practical and in common senses of what is real as the physical that which at the end of the day, cannot be owned but through illusion.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be cautious, as a cautiousness of and as self protection when overall opening up that self protection and letting ideologies go I am able to stand equal to complex forms be they of nature, and as such balanced, or of a limited and layered story line of hyper inflated value judgements that in themselves have no real power as what is real is the physical, as the earth is the heart of matter, where that matter is life in expression here. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"> I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I can own something, when in effect everything that is here is me and defines me, thus a belief that something can be “ owned” as a physical thing is an illusion, the reality is that I am more a steward of life in that my responsibility is to be in expression with creation as life as the physical, as that is real “ ownership.” </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I find myself moving into thoughts that are of an absolute, or an end game belief, the consequence is of doom and gloom scenarios because I am allowing a state where I believe that something can be lost, when in effect, the constant is that which is life, as that which maintains a balance as that which can be complex but able to be understood just as riding a bike which is a complex of moving parts one can readily grasp and move with to function together to enjoy being physical as that is the value here, as the earth is the heart of the matter and displays all dimensions of things in plain sight, where, at the end of life what is most focused upon is that grass growing.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I commit myself to slow down and breath, and recognize my own rushing into protection and defense of what is very limited focus and to stop, to read what is here, as movements, as melodies, as story lines that are time lines of polarized beliefs that exist like a power vortex around the heart and that are a distraction from self as life, all of which is visible in body tics, in eye movements, in pressures in the body as the program of self deception of and as life is visible as a super imposition on what is constant and real as this physical creation that is life manifest and that is visible in its unconditional giving here. </span></p>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-37283397410495050802020-10-27T05:49:00.004-07:002020-10-27T05:49:39.979-07:00Day 860 A reminder of that which is constant<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">What was it yesterday that came up but noticing it was time to separate the chaos, or the fillers, from what is more constant, and more stable. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">In relation to myself and thinking, I find myself thinking about things. It is a sudden thing as one is in one moment, more present and then suddenly in another moment, imagining something. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">Meanwhile, and with some experience, those moments where real problem solving happens, that also have a measure of greater clarity become more real. By that I mean, more productive, or less anxiety causing. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">It is that one has shut down real feeling, a sense of the space that is here. I also notice how scattered things appear to be, especially in the media, and in conversations with others. Those moments where a person appears suddenly more aggressive, and/or moves into a manner where they are attempting to soften something by bringing forward a value and hyper-focusing on that. This is how the mind works when misused. It becomes more visible. The whole focus of the body also reflects this. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">It reflects the debt based monetary system where we are all living some hyper-projection that has no real value as it is separate from reality. If our money is all debt then who actually “ owns” everything - if such a thing can actually be real overall.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">And, would that “ debt” be repurposed into being able to purchase less and less, as the goal posts change in the banking system. It is an inflated bubble, just as the use of aggressively or passively focusing on values that are about protecting some “ asset” or some fear of really looking at what is going on today on this earth. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">There is the law of correspondence, where what is below is above and what is without is within. It is like a hologram where each part reflects the whole. In every word we speak, we expose where we are at, on what we focus upon. Blame is basically abdicating responsibility. It is a form of becoming a reaction instead of a solution. It causes the ripples of a need to respond to the reaction instead of the problem. This must be visible, because the medium the ripple moves through remains a constant … until the constant is destroyed by being overwhelmed by ripples. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">I have looked back into moments where I more neutralized situations seeing through the hyper-realized reactions. I ask myself why I am not living that “ state of being” with every breath? </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">It was yesterday morning that I woke up with this question around me, that I went onto the internet and noticed a pattern emerging from that chaos. In three interactions, the words about seeing the constant through the storm came up. It was as though within all the resonant chaos, that one point came through. At the end of the day, this is really what it is all about. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc;">The real solutions are what is constant and here. I am physical, on a physical planet. That is what exists at the end of the day. In relation to debt and the present banking system, there is this earth and it requires a reset that realizes it is the real value, and the means to be life. That is the constant. And, it is here, in plain sight. </span></p>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-84207612996584218982020-10-18T06:35:00.001-07:002020-10-18T06:35:23.318-07:00Day 859 A reflection on the math of being caught in a spell, or emotional storm.<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc; font-size: medium;">I can feel this thing in my chest, as though there is a constant pressure. It is a fine line, the difference. A difference between sensing a real movement and existing within an elevated state of being. It is so visible in the form and movement of a face to a large degree. One can focus the body to see the overall movement. It can cause an uncomfortability, as though a natural sentience can on some level mirror what is around them. A state of protection demands a constant awareness in order to react in ways that maintain that protection. I suppose it is possible to become a mirror for others, one need only have the patience to face the storm. Emotional storms have a funny way of burning themselves out. it can only last so long. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc; font-size: medium;">What is interesting, is that surrounding this is a certain lite-ness. I can’t tell if I am being delusional. Yet there are moments when a “ storm” has been more something made visible to itself than something that could be considered a threat. The storm lives its courses in a faster way when there is nothing fueling that storm. Therefore, its life span is shortened. If restrictions were lessened would life come through more? At the end of the day, life cannot be suppressed. It is a constant , whereas an emotional projection has no constancy. That is probably a huge difference, but being in an emotional storm eludes that simplicity. One is caught under a spell. A spell constructed and allowed by the self at the expense of a natural sentience. That “ sentience” that allows one to learn to ride a bike pretty quickly. Emotionally charged spells, as projections, of defense of one’s own spells, facing another of the same does not have the same embrace and learning ability as that kind of focus that is used to learn to ride a bike. Emotionally charged states, or spells, against the same, lack processing speeds - unless one sees outside the veil, and then that natural spatial ability begins to open up. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc; font-size: medium;">One of the cool things about slowing down and breathing is that one can become one’s own witness to one’s own storms. Why? Because a false paradigm as a projection of ideas, beliefs and opinions has only a certain duration, thus the contrast is there if one can breath through and unfollow the reactions as information coming up from within. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc; font-size: medium;">If we all stopped and cross referenced our own reactions to things before making a decision, many many things would begin to change. Chaos is complicated. The complex in contrast could be realized as being more harmonic. Somehow, we have associated chaos with complex. Yet, complex does not need to mean something is chaotic. As some have said, if one cannot explain something to a child then it is not really understood. And, that once we know something it is a joy because it has become easy. Yet, an emotional polarity can, in time, make the complex appear difficult. This is why as we age, things appear more difficult. What has happened is that some unresolved value judgement is clouding the lens of awareness. If we look at the MSM today, it is all about clouding the lens of a natural awareness. Life is here, that which thwarts life must be a bullying state, because it is a state of denial of life. Or, when involved in the emotional/feeling storm processing slows way down. One moves into defense often manifest as name calling. That makes facing a storm much easier because such a construct both has no longevity and it is something that eventually must seek balance. That lack of balance leads to death. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #cccccc; font-size: medium;">Suppression ( a form of defense) is a shutting down of being in the living space and time of earth. We are the ones who build our own “ shut down” systems. At the end of the day, is the present “ lock down” simply reflecting what each is doing within the self as life? Are we tired of playing the game, exhausted from projecting a separate reality on top of this living earth? Is this going to be a solution or a death sentence? Are we “ locking down” because we are at an end game stage, where the invisible is made visible, the fantastic demystified? Because we are not yet ready to stand up we instead lock down? Are we realizing where we are going is not going to work? Has a process of elimination lead us to this point. Perhaps, it will lead to making the choice to finally realize real feeling as acceptance of the great abundance that is this physical creation? Since the “ storm of separation” has no real power, are we locking ourselves down in shame, or procrastinating from facing our own shame at having shut down real feeling. Real feeling being what would bring balance to this existence, that is existence period. It is like, open the heart, which would mean open up a natural sentience. Let what is constant and of support come roaring through. Realize within the “ math “ of spell casting that nothing can define one but what one is as life here. There would be a joy in the realization that this is the only place to go to at the end of the day. That would restore the kind of play one did as a young child. </span></p>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-71781171332563500482020-10-17T07:00:00.004-07:002020-10-17T07:03:30.325-07:00Day 858 Recognizing the shadow world of separation from self. <p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">As happens, it is usually in the morning when I am waking up that I catch an insight into the movement of my own behaviors. This morning it was more obvious to me the extent to which I move into protection as a form of self suppression.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; font-size: large;"><span><span style="color: #999999;">I remember, in college, while performing on stage one time, that I consciously performed in a way to hide a full presence in what it was I was doing. It is a form of no longer being as open. The belief behind it was that in being open, I attracted too much “ insistence” from others. What does that mean… It means that a certain focus of myself, could attract a kind of focus from other humans. It also reveals that I composed myself to a much greater extent than I am perhaps willing to realize. I deliberately, in a moment, composed the focus of my body, within a certain degree o</span></span><span style="color: #999999;">f limitation as not being open and fully focused with clarity in what I was doing in that moment. </span></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It also reveals a fear within me. What I am seeing is a fear of being able to answer to what comes to me in my environment. The contradiction, as the very nature of life revealing itself, was the movement I choose in that moment as being the answer to my own perceived dilemma! Astounding that the answer is therefore, always in plain sight. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It was to realize that all things are a system, a composition. Even, as my father taught me, a newspaper article is a composition, visible in what it does not say. Most articles are written where the important thing is revealed at the end of the article because literacy rates are falling - which is also a system - and as a consequence most people no longer read to the end of an article - which means in itself, that emotions are triggered and the processing of information has become stagnant. It is a thing, a slow processing speed. The way forward is finding the point of conceptual development, to get it moving. It means seeing that train of separation. slowing it down and directing/moving in a direction that opens self discovery.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is also understood that music, art and dance and reading about world events develops both sides of the brain. It is also understood that small minds talk about other people ( distraction), a more focused mind by degree, will talk about larger movements, and an even more focused person, using the tool of the mind, will focus on the overall whole and the ideas that improve that overall whole. How many people do you know that spend most of their time talking about other people? Was my self shutting myself down an attempt to avoid facing the above - that obviously reveals the human can determine their own FOCUS and as such “ invade” a space with their focus (revealed in their words and the focus of their bodies) to the extent one would make a choice to hide from that by doing the same thing that is causing that limited and narrow focus that creates a projection that is visible in its limitations by the very sounds coming from within it by the FOCUS of the body itself? Is it visible when perhaps in tossing a ball at the person the extent to which they are present is visible in the timing it takes to notice and catch a ball tossed towards them? </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">This is dealing with a kind of quantum shadow world. And I choose to play the game, which means that I am able to see the game. My self suppression was really about a belief that I did not know how to deal with that which I then used to hide from that! It also means there is no excuse for anyone.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">To change a practice that has been lived over a long time, is both easy and hard. Hard because reversing something appears difficult when the forces that drove that movement have become seemingly normal. Yet, once something is understood and called out by name, it no longer has any power as like cancels like. It is, all a math, one of great beauty. The shame being a rejection of that very beauty. “ we are happy when we are focused and unhappy when we are not” should be “ we are happy when we are focused here on earth, considering all things, and unhappy when we are not.”</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">This tension point on the right side of my chest, that at first felt like an inflammation, has to do with this point of facing the very thing I shut myself off from, that that has the answer to that which I resisted. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I also sense that I circumnavigate this point. Hmmm. lol</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">At the end of the day, it is just like listening to a piece of music, hearing ( lol - I typed “hearting”) the moving parts and pulling the strings in ways that face the problem, the tension, the focus, to and towards what brings forward balance and consideration of all things. And then to rebuild as every word, to speak in oneness and equality with life that is here always, otherwise why would I shut myself off from it? It is here, as that is the real starting point. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">This is all interesting, because at the moment, I have a physical problem in my immediate environment. Many around me are telling me there is nothing I can do. My family members tell me this with pity cloaking their bodies. I recognize the quality of the “ film.” It all appears impossible. Yet, I have managed to find agreement. It needs no label, no name calling. it requires spelling out the space. It is, at the end of the day a math. It is when real harmony happens that it is like standing in the most magnificent “ song.” A “ song” that is stable in itself. It is like watching a plant resort back to its original form, or a form that fits into the environment. I had a “ foreign” lettuce that appeared to do this. It is as though something if forcing the living plants to be other than they really are. After all, the dinosaurs always looked like some sophomoric attempt at design. We have as a society come to believe that the sophomoric is more than it actually is. Having done a discipline for so long, that becomes obvious. I just shut down and say nothing most of the time because the difference is unknown and some attempt at speaking up elicits a group think that has forgotten the difference. It is a complacency in silently realizing that to some extent there is something called a continuum. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">In a way, I already know what to do. Not necessarily with all the specifics. It is more that I have already done this in small movements. A practice of looking at space and time, taking things apart. It is more to make that bigger and the shadow play smaller, or an aid in a moment. The absence of using emotion and feeling allows one to say things more directly because it triggers nothing and as such allows more self reflection, somewhat like the rule of three ( times). This requires seeing the moments a gap appears that floods insight. ( I had one of those moments the other day and then blocked it out!) Yet the “ water” imprint remains. </span></p><div><br /></div>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-39610927316970928172020-09-29T06:26:00.003-07:002020-09-29T06:30:16.447-07:00Day 857 Self forgiveness on the resonant mind consciousness system of separation from life.<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><br /></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">The other day, I had a conversation with someone close to me. In a moment, I was aware of contradictory statements, and then, a “ state of being” as a personality. It is, though I have heard this before, a movement into a limitation, like holding a belief as a thing, and then in the next jumping into another context. Overall, a cognitive dissonance from the ordinary practical and physical reality that is here, in plain sight. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">The words, changed according to the personality. In one moment it was resisted, or reacted-to in relation to what I was conveying, and then in the next it was admitted to or acknowledged. What I noticed it that as I noted the two entities of belief, as expressed, as a contradiction, the different states of being, like a thing, like a mathematical formula in front of me.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">Within this, I could also see that in the past, I would have reacted to the emotional content of one and agreed with the other to appease the initial emotional reaction. lol, at the same time that I write this, I realize that in working with others, I tend to relax when there is agreement, at the expense of covering some limitations that would most probably become a bounce back. Therefor, within this, having a situation where there is seeming agreement, there is also necessity to cover what is not being said. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I suppose, as a child, seeing a state-of-limitation as a time line of built beliefs, would be a “ pain” in a way, and within myself, a reaction as a movement to move away from, ignore, avoid continuing or creating that tension of limited belief consuming the FOCUS of the body of the person. Yet, the realization that nothing can define a person, would enable one to have empathy as one moving beyond sympathy into real means and ways to allow a self discovery of balance and presence. Somewhat like turning a dial on a magnifying device in ways that uncover a limited and constructed focus of the body. Yet, I have found that uncovering things, when noticed and remembered, one - as anything in this reality, there is a need of space to process the uncovered, or discovered. Within this, one of the means of limitation is to give no space to actually process one’s experience. It is why, as I have discovered, our present government layer and spread things out, making it easy to hide what is real in plain sight and yet cause distraction to uncover the construct of the whole. Greed is a nasty business, one that kills the parasitical host as well as the victim. This understanding is probably there in the child, as the child enters this superimposed reality in reality. Processing that and learning to live with what is here, requires careful consideration, that one thing that is basically blocked within the demands of a limiting system. But then again, overall, it is like one giant computer game, where one must learn the inherent traps- even when they are spread out.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">Yet, this is about inherent contradictions that are visible in a state of jumping beliefs within self interest. Self interest being a math that is separate from the practical and ordinariness of life manifest as the physical. This that would be a state of considering ALL things, FOCUSING the body on recognizing ALL THINGS. Of course, cross referencing all things, would mean to focus in the moment, as here. Focusing on memorized ideas, beliefs and opinions, would be a state of separation from being focused here. And, as humans are happy when they are doing, being focused here, would have a quality to it, one that would be more constant and calm. Most likely, when we are at our best self, the quality of our expression would be that of greater constancy, meaning of less contradiction. Again, it is all a math. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">In this moment, of which I speak, the contradictions as the expressions from this person I was communicating with, were suddenly visible. I, within myself, realized on one level, how influenced I had been by the emotional intensity of this person. And on another level, at the same time, I realized to probably a more defined degree, how much contradictions are so evident. And they appear like a sudden jump in space in time. I also realized, simultaneously, how such could be more directed into seeing the whole and the moving parts - as life is consideration and expression at the same time. And, to had another level of my own inner movements, from being the same, I realized I feared what was said and discussed, with the reactions as beliefs, that more than likely, our conversation would be echoed through a group and spun in such a way that answering to the scattered beliefs would be a ripple effect that I feared “ causing.” As it would be me, in relation to all of this, that the questioning of things would be placed upon. And this, in a way that I had criticized what was basically a belief construct. Something that as personality and limitation would react and be cognitively dissonant from hearing anything else. Thus, addressing those fears is necessary. Especially, when overall, as always, the answer is in noticing the inherent contradictions and balancing them out into common sense. This means facing the storm of limitation. And, as was more visible in this moment, at the end of that day, it is something to be fearless within. A fearlessness that needs no second thoughts, no requirement of recognition, no sense of gain. Any of those things would hide the difference. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">This also helps me to realize in a more substantial way and means that the difference between being present and focused in respect of all things, has a direct correlation to the amount of contradiction in what is said as the very words we speak. Thus, as I said before, it is all a math. And, the focus of the body, within and as accepting limitation, is visible. Moving into what is natural, as something like hearing that grass grow, will take time, and yet most likely open up in a moment as something that was always, in all ways in plain sight, and very natural. I suppose being able to do that, would also mean one would be able to see one’s own means of separation from that, in a moment. And, know it so well, one would never ever make the choice to return to ignorance. It is that the less one believes one can move one’s self here in this reality, the greater one’s distance is from reality, and the more resonant chaos of ideas, beliefs and opinions one has spinning within one as a false god. The more this is one’s state of being, the more difficult it is to pick up a hammer and hammer in a nail, so distracting is one’s resonant ghost. The potential ensuing verbal drama’s are a form of entertainment, from having played a video game for so long, the focus has a hard time being changeable back into remembering that life is all things, and thus the physical living reality is the starting point of who and what we are as life. It is life in expression and it is here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">Self forgiveness to follow… </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear emotional movements, as expressions as beliefs, as ideas, within and as the very focus as form within and as the physical living flesh as the body.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as ideas, beliefs and opinions as making a projection of ideas, beliefs and opinions larger than life itself.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to breath, to slow down and to use myself as life, in tandem with this physical living flesh that is me here, to see realize and understand that life is here in plain sight, that the focus as a from, as a movement of the physical body as the flesh as this earthly living form, is life, and as such can build an inner focus of separation from common sense, visible when one listens to the words being spoken and look at the movement of the person in plain sight, as the lens of the body reveals the focus of the body here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that processing the inFORMation of what is here, is what is innate about who and what I am as life as the physical and as such can see, and feel that focus of the body and hear the contradictions as the words, as the sounds as the forms from the body here, and within this, I am able to address the information and the focus of the body to see realize and understand imbalances and discover what makes sense as what is best for all here as life, as the means is always in all ways here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand the correlation to being emotional and being present here, as the difference is visible, in the focus and the words of the from as the physical body as the person as the human as the life that is here as life is simply here, whereas projections distort focus and expression of self as life here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a character of and as a quality of being surreptitious, where I listen and maintain a distance from being here, which in itself is being a watcher, without taking actions that move into what balances the within, to the without, the above to the below, to realize the value is being here, equal and one in consideration of all things as all that is is myself in another life here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to tense up, within and as my chest area, to shut down looking here, within and as allowing myself to fear emotions, which are basically not having enough information, and as such causing a state of separation and limited thin-king here, as well, a from of protection and defense as a consequence of avoiding consideration of all things in a moment, because of an idea of a fear of loss, when the real loss is a lack of considering all things, where in so many ways, the simple is usually the answer, often visible in retrospect, revealing that the polarized chaos is also a system, one that morphs in many ways and can appear overwhelming, when within this the patterns are similar, and as such, able to be addressed without any emotional reaction within myself here, as I am life and I am here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and decompose what is around me to see realize and understand the correlations evident in the difference between being focused here, in respect of all things and being in protection and defense in relation to hiding a lack of being able to process the projections of beliefs, opinions and ideas, and the difference of being present and in recognition of all things as the realization that life is physical and in plain sight here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize in every moment, the power of being focused here, and not reacting to limitation, but to rather focus on the form that is here, in every moment, as the difference between being focused and what is essentially being scattered as living as knowledge and information, instead of being practical and in respect of life as the physical, because the physical is life.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel ashamed at the extent to which I focused ONLY on the emotional content of and as the fear, the false evidence appearing real, as the projection of ideas, beliefs and opinions, that are recognizable in the polarized, value judgements that are basically a denial of being present, as a value judgement is an association to an idea, as the very quality and nature of such, which is a signature of being scattered and thus insecure, and thus in a state of loss of common sense.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the math of what it means to be scattered, that is visible, as in the very focus of the body, as the presence is absent, because at the end of the day, each and every one of us knows the difference, which is why what we practice is what we become, as what we practice is what we allow, which leaves a mark, because separation causes a lack of focus, and thus a lack of capacity, and thus a lack of security and stability.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for being locked in limited associations within and as the very focus of myself.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to read through things like troll letters, especially the really long ones, because they bring forward the patterns of cognitive dissonance, in their very form and function meant to cause frustration and discord, as things are triggered through label and name calling and seemingly invisible threats as the “ you are either against us or with us” scenarios which is a form of limiting information as revealing the whole and the moving parts.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing a storm, to fear being confrontational, as in reality, fearing to be confrontational, within and as common sense, reflects the degree to which one is lacking information as being grounded, as facing limitation and scatological thin-king,which is a gift because it means that one is essentially lacking in real seeing, in real living presence, in real movement as steadiness, as being grounded in consideration of all things here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that any form of self pity is a distraction from looking at what is here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have realized the difference between speaking as knowledge and information, here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to look here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to look here, and to open this up, as I fear being accused of having done the same, and also within this, to realize that all manner of responses will be expressed as the very process of coming back down to earth requires processing the difference here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have not noticed the difference.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing a mind consciousness system that is of obvious shadow movement within and as the human physical body that is more constant as it is life, as this earth.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain steady in focus and purpose within and as realizing in thought, word , and deed that life is here, and that life is physical, as this is considering all things, and taking the good and ensuring no harm, to redirect into the value being life here as being in expression of creation.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to act, to behave in protection and defense within and as wanting to memorize structures to guide me in relation to, which is also an idea, that I must have a firm template or grasp, or both, to allow me, to prepare me to face what is here as a mind consciousness system that is a resonant form around the human physical body, as a projection of and as ideas about the past, which are basically unresolved beliefs as a fear of loss, in the order of being able to face something, which is a form of caution, and yet, any children, especially in earlier generations did not have this to the extent it exists today, and were able to see, and yet not be heard, as they did not yet have the means of communication, especially with parents who were lost in a limited narrative of limited values that were in an absence of considering all things as who and what we are here as physical states of being.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to relax, to remain calm, to see, especially within the experience, that when and as I look here, in some small moments what was discovered was of a greater understanding and a consequence of being less emotional as a slow and subtle trust is built that enables me to face emotional storms with lending direction that resolves and discovers a more balanced state of being, which in itself as a form of realizing emotional charges as beliefs that lack respect of who and what we are as physical life, as life is physical and that physical is life, as it remains and is visible, is in plain sight here, and as such as a system of great inequality, what is the means of a few owning what is here put to promulgate a narrative that there is an after life, or to pretend “ love and light” when real love is the universal measure of and as “ to give as one would receive,” as this measure in practical movement, would create an existence where no one is in lack, as this is natural. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am disempowered.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe, that I have no power.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand how tiny is the projection of a mind consciousness memorized and self created inner resonant system is a construct of little value in that it has no real longevity, as was evident in the death of my father, thus the emotional storms of really of no significance, here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself as my beingness, to see, realize and understand that it means to stand here, within and as describing the difference, to bring the gap between being focused here, in respect of all things as the physical living and breathing and expressing physical state called earth.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that at the end of the day, there is only here, this physical breathing expressing reality called earth.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that when and as I cannot hold a more complex form within me, I am showing myself to myself, as the very distractions of polarized values thwart my focus onto being one and equal within and as standing equal to a more complex form, which means that when and as I cannot stand one and equal to a more complex form of disassociation I am not grounded here, in reality, equal and one to this existence, for which there is no excuse, none, no “ soft love” as an idea is going to change this, as there is only standing equal and one with intent, especially as adults that can use words and communicate because I am no longer a child.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to process what is here as forms chest on here, as I understand that the heart as a much greater electrical field than does the head…., but more on that research later.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that even if this is true, it means that the suppression through the use of projection of an energetic visible field around the physical body, is of such thin stuff it is astounding that the heart is suppressed to the degree that it is…</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand those moments where “ troll” manage was in my space and to which I did not react, and instead if anything, looked at with curiosity, and within that realized the patterns and forms and was more effective in not triggering the emotional field, and as such answered to it in ways to allow it to discover itself, within and as asking it to repeat itself, as within the law of three, bringing something forward three times as a great effect, which is also in the bible.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to ask questions more, as making statements by nature places pressure to respond, which causes a discord within a state of separation as a person believing that their resonant belief system is more real than life here. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that I am life and as life I am capable of standing one and equal to what are essentially resonant constructions of polarized values that has patterns to it, like patterns of grief, and is visible as we can only speak our experience here, thus we reveal even in silence where we are at, as the living breathing physical reality is in plain sight and of such magnificence that real life would be in expression in every moment, even in silence, as in a way, within and as intention, real understanding is a constant that cannot be denied.</span></p><div><br /></div>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-7408872561011134792020-09-24T06:18:00.001-07:002020-09-24T06:18:13.553-07:00Day 856 Walking out from behind the veil of ideas, beliefs, and opinions. <p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">It is astounding how much everything is a math. Within this, to realize the extent of personality that one becomes within and as beliefs, opinions and ideas. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">The other day, I had a conversation with someone close to me. In a moment, I was aware of contradictory statements, and then, a “ state of being” as a personality. It is, though I have heard this before, a movement into a limitation, like holding a belief as a thing, and then in the next jumping into another context. Overall, a cognitive dissonance from the ordinary practical and physical reality that is here, in plain sight. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">The words, changed according to the personality. In one moment it was resisted, or reacted-to in relation to what I was conveying, and then in the next it was admitted to or acknowledged. What I noticed it that as I noted the two entities of belief, as expressed, as a contradiction, the different states of being, like a thing, like a mathematical formula in front of me.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">Within this, I could also see that in the past, I would have reacted to the emotional content of one and agreed with the other to appease the initial emotional reaction. lol, at the same time that I write this, I realize that in working with others, I tend to relax when there is agreement, at the expense of covering some limitations that would most probably become a bounce back. Therefor, within this, having a situation where there is seeming agreement, there is also necessity to cover what is not being said. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I suppose, as a child, seeing a state-of-limitation as a time line of built beliefs, would be a “ pain” in a way, and within myself, a reaction as a movement to move away from, ignore, avoid continuing or creating that tension of limited belief consuming the FOCUS of the body of the person. Yet, the realization that nothing can define a person, would enable one to have empathy as one moving beyond sympathy into real means and ways to allow a self discovery of balance and presence. Somewhat like turning a dial on a magnifying device in ways that uncover a limited and constructed focus of the body. Yet, I have found that uncovering things, when noticed and remembered, one as anything in this reality, there is a need of space process the uncovered, or discovered. Within this, one of the means of limitation is to give no space to actually process one’s experience. It is why, as I have discovered, our present government layer and spread things out, making it easy to hide what is real in plain sight and yet cause distraction to uncover the construct of the whole. Greed is a nasty business, one that kills the parasitical host as well as the victim. This understanding is probably there in the child, as the child enters this superimposed reality in reality. Processing that and learning to live with what is here, requires careful consideration, that one thing that is basically blocked within the demands of a limiting system. But then again, overall, it is like one giant computer game, where one must learn the inherent traps- even when they are spread out.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">Yet, this is about inherent contradictions that are visible in a state of jumping beliefs within self interest. Self interest being a math that is separate from the practical and ordinariness of life manifest as the physical. This that would be a state of considering ALL things, FOCUSING the body on recognizing ALL THINGS. Of course, cross referencing all things, would mean to focus in the moment, as here. Focusing on memorized ideas, beliefs and opinions, would be a state of separation from being focused here. And, as humans are happy when they are doing, being focused here, would have a quality to it, one that would be more constant and calm. Most likely, when we are at our best self, the quality of our expression would be that of greater constancy, meaning of less contradiction. Again, it is all a math. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">In this moment, of which I speak, the contradictions as the expressions from this person I was communicating with, were suddenly visible. I, within myself, realized on one level, how influenced I had been by the emotional intensity of this person. And on another level, at the same time, I realized to probably a more defined degree, how much contradictions are so evident. And they appear like a sudden jump in space in time. I also realized, simultaneously, how such could be more directed into seeing the whole and the moving parts - as life is consideration and expression at the same time. And, to had another level of my own inner movements, from being the same, I realized I feared what was said and discussed, with the reactions as beliefs, that more than likely, our conversation would be echoed through a group and spun in such a way that answering to the scattered beliefs would be a ripple effect that I feared “ causing.” As it would be me, in relation to all of this, that the questioning of things would be placed upon. And this, in a way that I had criticized what was basically a belief construct. Something that as personality and limitation would react and be cognitively dissonant from hearing anything else. Thus, addressing those fears is necessary. Especially, when overall, as always, the answer is in noticing the inherent contradictions and balancing them out into common sense. This means facing the storm of limitation. And, as was more visible in this moment, at the end of that day, it is something to be fearless within. A fearlessness that needs no second thoughts, no requirement of recognition, no sense of gain. Any of those things would hide the difference. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">This also helps me to realize in a more substantial way and means that the difference between being present and focused in respect of all things, has a direct correlation to the amount of contradiction in what is said as the very words we speak. Thus, as I said before, it is all a math. And, the focus of the body, within and as accepting limitation, is visible. Moving into what is natural, as something like hearing that grass grow, will take time, and yet most likely open up in a moment as something that was always, in all ways in plain sight, and very natural. I suppose being able to do that, would also mean one would be able to see one’s own means of separation from that, in a moment. And, know it so well, one would never ever make the choice to return to ignorance. It is that the less one believes one can move one’s self here in this reality, the greater one’s distance is from reality, and the more resonant chaos of ideas, beliefs and opinions one has spinning within one as a false god. The more this is one’s state of being, the more difficult it is to pick up a hammer and hammer in a nail, so distracting is one’s resonant ghost. The potential ensuing verbal drama’s are a form of entertainment, from having played a video game for so long, the focus has a hard time being changeable back into remembering that life is all things, and thus the physical living reality is the starting point of who and what we are as life. It is life in expression and it is here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">Self forgiveness to follow… </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMpV6DZcaWaR7hMNBhkOHYLpN5AeNsBYhPLyEcD16xfCICbCqAGDghCooaph82OWTgw2i5LaBPRvJQpmvalg9FMSJ-V7ZjWW6Cj6xmPkuz6-BL5z9wg_0KVY2RaLywZT6uiY4u0SwrgSU/s640/Photo+on+2011-12-01+at+15.32.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMpV6DZcaWaR7hMNBhkOHYLpN5AeNsBYhPLyEcD16xfCICbCqAGDghCooaph82OWTgw2i5LaBPRvJQpmvalg9FMSJ-V7ZjWW6Cj6xmPkuz6-BL5z9wg_0KVY2RaLywZT6uiY4u0SwrgSU/s320/Photo+on+2011-12-01+at+15.32.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span><p></p>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-55756520430781331992020-08-26T10:12:00.005-07:002020-08-26T10:12:41.566-07:00DAY 855 Working on opening the chest of potential as movement within living words.<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">Here again today I am aware of this “ thickness” in my chest area. This week, in moments of calm, I noticed how distracting thinking is and does? How the movement of the body is more able to respond within realizing solutions - especially within uncovering and connecting within more universal truths, or early acknowledged problems. One is more vulnerable in such a state and sees beyond politically projected belief systems. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I realize in some respects that finding a point of vulnerability is in itself a greater willingness to face and resolve problems. I can see where going into or forming things in such a way that another is in a more vulnerable state of something I greatly feared - as though such a thing is a taboo. Yet, it is where one is softer, more pliable and therefore more able to LOOK. Allowing vulnerability is opening up changeability- that state of focus the very means of change. I find myself wanting to “ hold” this yet that is the same that leads to a loss of that of which I am speaking. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">It also almost feels like waking up to allow real feeling, and that such that appears to be a place to not go to, is the very same means to open up and remember joy, to re-member PLAY. This also feels unbelievable, or something suppressed. It reminds me of realizing that fear is an illusion. Like there was something there all along that was really a nothing - leaving a sort of neutral shock in its place. It is to say that chaos blinded simplicity. Is this a self catching a running train of protections that once realized have no substance? Is this why this appears to be something of such slight difference? In contrast it reveals projections that imbalance the body being the thin-king that they exist within and as? </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">There is also a sense that I remember having while walking down a Zurich street back in 1998-1999 of and as “ everything is going to be okay.” It is to say that discovery is gentle and is absent of an excitatory bling. It is to say a power-vortex has no real power. Somehow, the difference is not YET as clear as it might be but this may be the contrast of having lived in separation. It is like coming home is great because it has no fanfare. One is simply in grace and that is the real power. Letting go and letting be without apprehension. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I also sense that I am in a space where a conditioned bounce back wants to happen. There is this constant drive into tension within my chest area. I have been here before. It must be named more clearly, the directions moved as, expressed as able to face the unknown and as the same time have no worry in doing so, or laughing at falling down, much like a child learning to walk. Habits are programming, and programming was practiced and built/accepted/allowed. It is running on automatic - much like our present administrative and government systems. Perhaps those working on change do not realize the extent to which programming is blind to itself. Asking that to stand up and self realize, especially when money determines life is like talking to a huge resonant wall. One must stand equal to it. And one must stand with authority, which has a manner that is sound and stable. It can be heard through the storm - which means it must be said more than three times and consistently, like the 21 day rule for changing a habit. lol, were school units usually of a duration of three weeks? The system uses the known to program limited and compartmentalized thin-king. It creates a state of selective reasoning. It becomes a “ state of being.” We do have many talking about the deep state, or statism. How about becoming earthism? which is heartism? They are the same letters. Divide and conquer is done through an ever-so-slight pulling of information threads. It is why the “ veil” is considered to be thin. lol</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">And this is what it feels like in the body, in my chest, like there are threads pulling my shoulders forward slightly causing a form of a concave chest area. There’s also some pressure around my head, like a cap - lol a caption. Like I said the difference is slight and composed of symbols. As some have said, we will know them by their symbols. I remember while being in a classroom and this one student staring into space was looking at a screen of subtle neon-like lights. I shut down and walked away. I had no idea how to deal with this at that time- the point here was that it was a bunch of symbols and figures moving around on a projected screen. I mean, what does it mean to sense real movement? Or to model real movement? That question came up so I wrote it out! </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">What does it mean to walk with authority, the kind that opens doors without a need for recognition? This makes me want to cry, as a sense of having lost a joy. Like, if I walk in joy, I will be shut down, as it is not allowed. The sense of wanting to cry being more a loss of this than and an apology for having given up in some way, or an apology to myself …., and my husband. Deep down it is more that I must forgive myself- that it is okay, that everything is going to be alright. I can walk in joy, I can stop the bounce back into protection or rather “ not upsetting the status quo of separation.” It means to let be and to let go and to recognize running from and running to as being separate from a natural capacity to be present and process what is here. it is okay to be grounded, it is okay to be in recognition of potential and that which is separate from potential. It is okay to NOT participate in the illusion of bling. It is okay to upset webs without causing harm. Reactions are okay, like the famous “ forgive them for they know not what they do,” or “ care but not that much.” It is okay to LOOK. It is okay to stand using natural senses, as this is necessary to sense the outlines of separate divisions that are of limitation. It is okay to be present and sense this living space.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">It is like standing up and falling down, standing up and falling down, standing up and falling down again and again and again, and feeling so tired within doing this. Also, a bit like there is no other place to go but to stand up and fall down as long as it takes. That in itself becomes a belief, limiting focus of the greater whole. This is creating this warm falling sensation in my chest, a warmth of and as it is okay, embrace this and stop seeing ONLY this habit of and as a belief in standing up and falling down, again and again. It is NOT overwhelming to realize this and sense beyond it. In contrast, there is a constant that has a nurturing quality to it, and that is greater than the excitatory sense of having won something. It is like a deep nurturing characteristic of the feminine is absent, that same movement that can simply say sit and the dog will sit. There is “ here.” Nothing can define this unless by allowance, here is constant. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel tired in relation to expressing myself in relation to what exists around me.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that things are impossible, which in itself is a distraction within and as focusing here, in the practical in the physical reality that is life in expression.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that being is a series of standing up and falling down ONLY.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live this movement that is in reality a form of self pity, and for this I forgive myself.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that living in joy, within and as processing the information around me, as that which is limited and of separation from life and that which is here in plain sight as the practical living reality that is physical is not allowed - lol, “ allowed” sound like “ hollowed.” </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to feel</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that death is actually possible, as things are forms and functions, expressions and movements, and though yes, this physical form that is me, changes, what is real as life, remains, as that is potential of and as creation.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself onto thinking only.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to participate within and as what is a false power vortex, as a state of separation from the living reality into and as a limited set body of symbols/ideologies/resonant constructs/imaginations/fantasies/addictions/beliefs etc.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to feel here, to remember here, to respect all things as the physical reality, as this earth, and all that composes this physical living reality called earth</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the depth to which resources of the earth are mis-used to feed an ideological resonant storm of selective reasoning, serving a few, without regard for life, here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand the extent to which the present system and the technology manifesting that system are a reflection of what humans have accepted and allowed within and as them, here, where the present economic system abuses freely given resources to feed a very limited storied construction lacking recognition of consequences and as such allows an outflow of great instability, causing the friction of polarization manifest as a projection separate from practical living physical reality, here that is lacking in substance and of which consumes the flesh.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear speaking up with specificity about how a Mind Consciousness System is a mind in division of and as resonant constructions layered into the conscious, subconscious, unconscious, quantum mind, quantum physical mind and the physical mind and the beingness programming, which makes sense because what we allow to express us would layer, as we suppress that which is out of sync with this living physical reality, causing blindness as suppression of real sentience, of real seeing here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop suppressing real seeing, within and as recognizing my own behaviors of and as a scattered selective reasoning of limited values, that create energy instead of real livings s being focused and in respect of all things here. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">When and as I find myself becoming tense, becoming tension, of which I slow down and cross reference, with every breath, to read what is here, as the words, to stabilize the words, and model recognition of life, within and as behaviors of grounding myself here, manifest as defining the space, and realizing what balances and lends a self direction of discovery of what has been suppressed through scattered selective reasoning that is heaviness causing and polarizing gaslighting the space here, all an illusion and what may be directed into recognition to then discover a natural ability to be present and to lead to birthing life into the physical, here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">When and as I find myself becoming tense, within and a s my body and my breathing I stop and I slow down, and I assess my own patterns of selective reasoning as value judgements causing a selective reasoning and focus, and I stop as I embrace my own acceptances and allowances and practice redirecting my focus as I call out by name my own characters, and then to assess what is around me, to bring forward actions that balance out inflammatory behavior running on empty, to ground and stabilize in a moment to then calm the immediate space to them realize potential which often is small, as our potential lacks specificity and structure to express itself and be of giving in an expression of and absolute purpose, to stand one and equal to creation here, to build a life on earth that lives the nature of life of and as absolute purpose which by nature, as I see it in this moment, of and as eternal nurturing where a moment of falling down is fun because it means one is closer to understanding how to move as life here. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: medium;">When and as I find myself moving into a persona, one that is deep, from that past, of and as “ I am so tired of standing up and falling down,” I stop and I breath, and I realize this belief as a persona, and I stop and I feel my feet on the ground and I look at how I am handling myself here, and how I am focusing my body, from habit, and I breath and I assess and move towards balance, within and as what lends self discovery and that which opens dwors/as movements as words, that bring awareness of all things here as best I can as though all things are me in another life. </span></p>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-72305340543385825242020-08-23T09:03:00.001-07:002020-08-23T09:03:36.838-07:00Day 854 A power vortex. I am physically leaning forward ever so slightly. A fear of upsetting the illusive status quo.<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I notice a point of victimhood where a very subtle energy appears like a very gently accumulating fog. It is as the word suggests moments of small actions that are of fear, obligation and quilt. Fear is really a lack of of understanding.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">Sometimes one has to speak against an emotional pattern coming forward, even if it is not politically correct. The other day I was speaking with some people and was distracted within worrying about how to say something. That in itself means that I am worried about pushing the “ wrong “ buttons, despite the fact that emotional value judgements are a state of confusion as they are a state of separation and an absence of investigation, or not having enough information. Or, one could say, not enough focus on the practical reality as this physical existence that at the moment is entrenched in personalities. If one is busy projecting a personality, as a time line of value judgements as justifications for the choices of self interest one makes, then within that there will be shame and guilt and some spite in relation to the difference between being real and projecting a personality.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">This was something like what I found myself within, fearing to upset some hyper inflated status quo narrative - which in itself as what I allowed - blocked what I have experienced so many times, an opportunity for a moment of insight. One has to let things go in order to change order! Seems contradictory but it is not! </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">On the world stage this often happens. That there is something called the silent majority means that many sense something is not where to go and yet are stagnant in taking a direction. This is something that is used by the present system. I mean, poverty is by design. Schools are a dumbing down structure, one that can sound good to someone already at a loss of effective critical and creative thinking skills. That we have the monetary system we have, and that we pollute so much of this earth for an “ economy” is already a disorder that is a lack of respect for all things, for taking the good and ensuring no harm, as that movement of consideration and respect for life is that which recognizes fundamental human rights. Fundamental human rights are a lot like taking care of a house plant. When certain things are not met, that house plant dies. It is in a physical state of expression. Having a “ heaven” and an “earth” is already a division which causes a separation. Remember, justification is complicated. Creation is complex, with that complexion being something that shines and is fecund with a creative spirit. Complex things are sustainable because they are in a state of homeostasis, they are not in conflict with one another, they are whorling together realizing that the differences are as important as the similarities. Something the system will do is accentuate the differences at the expense of the similarities, thereby causing conflict to then grab resources. What we have is resource war, and your programming is a part of that war. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">Then there is the physical aspect of this self suppression within and as me, as what I accept and allow. I notice this week within this point of having pressure within my chest, that I lean forward ever so slightly. I have caught this in the last couple of days as I have worked on naming this self generated construction of ideas, beliefs and opinions, that are wants, needs and desires. All based on my environment. All based on traditions from existential early environments that accumulated into traditions that became habits that are rituals to hold onto a past that is not what is here in the moment. And, these traditional rituals that are from past ecologies are a means of compartmentalizing one’s focus at the expense of respecting the physical landscape and working directly with it. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">This ever so slight accumulating “ fog” is in this moment more of a fear - as I see it. The leading forward part has a sense of being in a burden, like I am attempting to answer too many threads at the same time without upsetting the “ spider” sitting on them. lol, that analogy just popped up! I have to ask myself what that spider really wants. That spider wants what we all want; to live a life! At the moment, so much of existence is in survival mode because of a mis-use of resources. In effect, we consume physical things to sustain our bodies. We are not in sync with creation, we are moving against it, as am I if I use knowledge and information, as ideas, beliefs and opinions to determine my actions instead of being present. And, in a way, all resistance is a form of self hate because we know that difference, we understand that something is out of balance and that harm is not a real solution. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">It is like there is a vacuum from my heart into my head.I selectively take in things in at the expense of looking here. That vacuous movement causes an ever so slight leaning forward. And, this is why things are written out, because as one writes things out one names the game, it simply comes up. Within me I am like FUCK! Changing the direction of this is to deconstruct it and then refocus or rebuild the words within and as me creating this personified whorled world of words. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">In a way this vacuum living in each human moves around the earth sucking up the resources without regeneration and respect, allowing it to be filtered into an economic system that believes itself too big to fail, while in plain sight the weather patterns are changing because the earth is attempting to find some balance. It is ,just as within myself NOT a sustainable model. What exists as our current government reflects what is accepted and allowed by a collective of individuals, it is a power VORTEX! We are allowing our “ selves” as life to be swept up into a resonant and unsustainable false “ power vortex.” Interesting how what I sense today within me, as my heart/chest area mirrors the overall movement of the present system. And it would cause an ever-so-slight lean/liening forward disrupting a FOCUS on a consideration of all things, respecting all things to ensure NO HARM. As within, so without, as above, so below. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cling to knowledge and information as a means of propping myself up here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to focus here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am a victim of personalities as limited beliefs, ideas and opinions that are here, superimposed on this earth as a consequence of a belief that what is within as experience is larger than what is without and all around as who and what we are here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand how much I am “ falling down”within and as myself to live a lie that is a state of separation from consideration of all things here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear speaking up and looking at what is here, and to instead move into protection and self defense within and as hesitating when meeting a politically correct dialogue as suggested though repetition via a huge advertising system run by what could be called vacuum of self interest.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being hurt, or fear being in pain, when hurt is in this context simply myself in a way…. believing that I am being pushed away or rejected when in effect it is a rejection based on the expense of a refusal to respect all things and take that which does no harm.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself within this to not see realize and understand that the way I wrote that in itself though a recognition at the some time a lack of presence within a movement, this within this I commit myself to read this movement over all, within and as a physical context to begin to sense the difference within and as being present rather than in reaction to limitation that is in a way, overall, a form creation that in itself is an attempt to answer to where we as humanity are at in the moment here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize there is one choice within and as opening up my heart and being present here, to live in thought, word and deed that which realizes differences and similarities at the same time as this is a living definition of life here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be grateful for this body, that is actually showing me to myself here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the extent to which the body is a tool where it is a means to maintain a homeostasis within and as a focus as the balance within and as all parts of this body composed of so many states of being here to live and be life it is astounding the lack of respect we give to our bodies which is reflected in the present system that exists through participation by a collective and as such the fault of no single one but of the greater whole of humanity.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">When and as I find myself leaning forward ever so slightly I stop and I breath and I walk into a clear recognition of this as what I have accepted and allowed within and as me in this life here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">When and as I find myself considering being politically correct, within a limited narrative, within a suppression and lack of respect for self as life, I stop and I breath and I see, realize and understand that hurt within and as what it is that is suppressing the natural expression of the physical as the life in each and everyone that is here in plain sight, as the real potential of life that cannot be destroyed as it is always here. </span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">When and as I find myself as my body, as my chest area becoming heavy I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I sense the subtle movements that accumulate into a fog within and as moving into thinking as knowledge and information, and I assess and forgive and realize within and as lending discovery within and as what is desired by all, as allowing the potential of each and every unique living form to self realize what is best for all, which is here in plain sight as this earth and all things that compose this earth here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">When and as I find myself leaning forward every so slightly, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I let go and let be to comprehend what is here in the moment as myself and as my acceptances and allowances to realize an accepted order, or focus as my physical body, and to begin to realize movements that align into self discovery and self realization within and as what is the only choice, which is to stand equal and one to what is best for all, visible as this physical existence here.</span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;"><br /></span></p><p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999;">When and as I find myself moving into resistances as shutting myself down to hide behind a shield of knowledge and information, I stop and I breath, and I allow insight into what is presence without a fear of loss, or a fear of reprimand, and I stand as I have faced reactions within and as justifications with calm and with patience and as such, am able to realize moving parts in a moment, just as I have realized this subtle movement of and as leaning slightly forward, to mirror an awareness of that which can withstand the test of time, and as such becomes a beacon of stability, a voice of constancy to bring forward that which is best for all, this movement in itself requiring no recognition because the joy is in being focused and present, in respect of all things, which is a state that is the absence of restriction within the physical body which in itself is visible and has always been, it is simply repressed.</span></p><div><br /></div>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-68205525350188984432020-08-06T08:56:00.001-07:002020-08-06T08:56:15.967-07:00Day 853 An overuse of the imagination, a sense of loss and giving myself permission to be simple<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I have noticed lately some back chat and imaginations increasing within myself. It is a movement where I suddenly find myself IN-volved in an inner imaginative playout of .. mostly working with what I perceive within myself as “ injustice” like situations. I have recognized this more rapidly and simply stopped. I can remember when I first started this process how difficult it appeared to be to stop such “ worm-hole” like DISTRACTIONS from focusing all of me, as the life that is me here, to living here, in this moment, equal to a consideration of all things, this place where I can realize that there are no problems and ONLY solutions. </span></p>
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<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I stand back and look at the overall emotional tenure of what is existing within me as a resonant construction. I notice lately two things, and these have to do with consequential changes in my life. One is that my children are basically a much smaller part of my life, and hence a sense of being alone. Another, is some friction within expectations in relation to what I bring forward into this reality. Within this I realize that what I share is basically a very very simple thing that can have a huge impact in a person’s life. The conflict is the difference between an over-use of my imagination and the contrast of realizing the simplicity of something and relating that to its impact in allowing another to process and recognize what they are realizing and living within them selves and the greater reality around them as this physical existence. It is to say that I continue to polarize values and that itself is a distraction from realizing the simple being a means to correct that very thing I find myself once again being caught within. Another way to say this is a sense that being simple is somehow not allowed. I have to give myself permission to realize an old adage that “ if someone cannot explain something to a child, then one does not really know that of which they speak! </span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">It is in allowing the simple that I find I am more able to play and be patient and direct with greater effect. This, overall, a contradiction to beliefs that something must involve pain to grow, or that realizing solutions involves fighting for something, when in effect it is the opposite. I mean, the statement that realizes if someone cannot explain something to a third grader, for example, means that they really do not know that of which they speak, is an equation that reveals that real solutions are actually simple. If we contrast that to our present hyper-emotional and polarized doom and gloom generating media, we might just realize the difference and find our way back to our own innocence! </span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">It is as though being emotional is “ not having enough information,” and that being emotional is being in a polarized alternate imaginary inner resonant storm that is a storm in a tea-cup that has been “</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;"> normalized” when within well known adages, the opposite of what is promulgated as normal is that which is abnormal! This would be difficult to process conceptually is one is running in an inner energetic storm of good and bad, right and wrong, less than and more than. Remember, we humans are happy when we are doing and unhappy when we are not. Doing, involves being focused on the practical. That means realizing each simple step by step movement that actually gets things done. That moves with a greater ease as the nature of real doing involves a focus that lacks distraction and tension. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">Everything is a math, even a system of distraction. Overall, nothing can define who and what we are but by acceptance and allowance. That is a huge gift in itself. </span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">Thus, back to myself, I realize that I am feeling, and as such distracted from being present, that I am suddenly more alone. And two, that this over-blown imagination and state of value judgement which is a fear, is limiting a sense of realizing the simple in another area of my life. And, within that, that I give myself permission to realize the simple, which by extension opens up a realization that I am able to have fun within what I do because in effect, it is something that can be explained to a child. And, within that, I have explained this to many children and they tend to get it right away! </span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">The difference is like using a sextant on a ship. When one practices a correct and careful word recognition ability, one’s sextant use will more than likely bring them into a port of their choice, whereas an incorrect inner GPS building will lead their course way off of the port their choice! </span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as me, as my beingness, as a belief that I am alone.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I am suddenly alone as my children have become independent of me.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself, as my beingness, to see realize and understand that I am the life that is here as this earth, a life that is a creation that is physical in form and function revealing itself as creation manifest, evident in a system that is constructed and allowed by all of mankind, within and as the development of religions that distract from being in consideration of all things, and of behaviors such as my own, of living in a resonant storm of charged beliefs of a more than and a less than, this in itself a distraction from being focused and in consideration of all things, as being in regard of all things here.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as life, situations grow and change, morph and move into different forms of interaction and communication, and as such, within and as my own life, at the moment, I am moving into a situation where I have time and space to consider what I like, what perspectives and insights as the life of me, can be and share and develop which is a gift in and of itself here.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am always, in all ways, all one here.</span></p>
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<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself as my beingness, to believe that things must be complicated when in fact, solutions are by nature usually the next simple step, and that the accumulation of simple steps leads to being able to process more complex forms, which is a simple and really cool ways and means to and towards self improvement and development.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be and come to an overuse of my imagination, within and as allowing “ righteous” and justice seeking payouts within and as my imagination, which are really a reflection of an inner fear, where in this moment i see a relationship within this to and towards a fear of being left out, and a fear of ineffective communication where I have these inner imaginative play-outs spinning in a desire to blame and spite resistances I imagine will automatically exist within and as my immediate environment, when in effect, I have walked and faced many such resistances, and brought common sense into the picture thus my own fears and reactions as such fears within myself are simply an absence of living in thought, word and deed that which is simple and most often fun and playful in relation to understanding how this physical state of being actually works.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as my inner focus as a distraction of and as fear.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be distracted within and as worrying and imagining worst case scenarios in separation from myself as life, as my beingness, being focused here, realizing the simple and having fun and being playful within and as that, to realize in thought, word and deed that which is in consideration of all things to regard with awe, the magnificence of creation that is life as this physical expression of form and function that us earth here.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as an idea of what is right and an expectation of what is right being accepted, when in effect, this is a focus of distraction instead of remaining here, breathing, slowing down and playing with focus, as the physical body in its expression here, when this is visible and can be felt, where what is really huge is the physical creation of life that is here in all ways always, as this is in plain sight here.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself as my beingness to see, realize and understand that I am life and that as this life, I determine the physical state of this life within and as the very fabric of my physical body, in and as the very focus of me here, where tensions and frictions within and as my body, reveal my acceptances and allowances, played out within my over-used imagination, that is something I as the life that is me, can direct, and as such I give myself permission to life being present and focused here, to realize the simple and to have fun as inherent in being focused and present is real discovery and the living of solutions that are what is best for all, here.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself as my beingness, to focus myself within a narrow field of charged value judgements and as such to live within a survival suit as a belief instead of remaining focused and in respect of this living breathing creation that is physical, and here in plain sight.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the mind.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist and suppress seeing the mind, a mind as an overuse of the imagination, that has not real constancy and sustainability, and therefor has a nature of being intense and insistent and then suddenly ending, where in my state of resisting and running from this and being in my own gloom and doom fear mode, not seeing realizing and understanding the patterns within and as the nature of this, to the extent I can able to stand equal to such states-of-separation realizing that nothing can define me, but what I accept and allow, and as such am able to realize patterns and process form and function and movement, to define and realize the space and then to play and reform and ground in ways that allow self discovery as within this, there need be no self validation as the real value is realizingin thought, word and deed, that which beings insight into who and what we really are as creation that is expressed in physical form, to realize the only choice is to exist within and as heaven on earth here, where all life is considered and respected as being the real value here. </span></p>
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<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding how my physical body, to a greater extent, is gifting me as life the means to understand this reality as that being who and what I am here, as I am life here.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become engrossed in a resonant bubble of information, and instead of being focused here, realizing that nothing can define who and what i am, and yet as that I am able to stand equal and one with what is here for a moment without fear to process what consider and REFLECT consideration of all things as the who and what I am here, as I am life which is physical and in plain sight - the opposite of an overuse of the imagination that causes a separation from a practice of cross referencing all things as life, as the physical as this earth, here.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 17px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I commit myself to allowing and accepting myself, as my beingness, to focus here, to realize nothing can define me but who and what i am as life, which is physical, and here in plain sight, that what is constant and consistent is eternal, and grounded and sound.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that just as my imagination is changeable, and protean-like, so is the ability of myself as the heart of me, able to define terms for a moment and consider all things, regard all things and process a lack of information, with care and reflection in ways that build in a process of sharing what has a more eternal quality and is of equal consideration of all things here.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I commit myself to Slowing down and breathing, and realizing the small movements into an overuse of the imagination and myself existing within and as an idea of fear of loss and fear of standing equal and one to the simple to realize that the simple can be brought forward in thought, word and deed in every moment here, as life is always in all ways in plain sight here, as this earth in form and function.</span></p>
<p style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">I commit myself to seeing realizing and standing as that which grounds one’s focus into and as the innate ability of the life that is in each and everyone, to come forward and live in joy of the awe of creation that is always, in all ways in plain sight here. </span></p>Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-68994455652706020672020-07-30T04:11:00.000-07:002020-07-30T04:11:41.051-07:00Day 852 Spells and Deception. What are career politicians?<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I have experienced these “ information” shifts while speaking and connecting with others. I realize I continue to have fears around this. I notice it when I realize I am in a different point than I was previously and yet I can’t remember the shift. This is most likely because, like the dog, it is a deeply habituated movement. One that I suppressed over time. I realize it is, at the end of the day, a conceptual movement. I am in separation from what is here as the physical, that which is practical. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I actually feel that it is something like … “ one is not supposed to do that.” “ It is not polite” to acknowledge and expose one’s own personal deception.” DE- ception: the action of deceiving someone - “ from to take.” A lie-by-omission is a form of “ from to take.” Meaning, to take something from someone, to take awareness away from - a form of artifice. To take presence from someone, to catch them in a spell, or maintain limitation. A spell that should one see the boundaries of, the spell would have no power. Is it possible that one could be considered “ difficult” if one remains out side of the bubble of the spell ? Like remaining outside of a cathedral ages ago because one realized it was a box of information, like an iPhone, of control, or count rolling, or a thing of measure of limited story, as sequences of events, excited with bright colors and music? I mean what is the difference? There is no difference. One is simply moving at a different pace and sequence! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The word “ conception “ would mean “with- take.” The “ con” being an intensifying word, meaning to “ take” in, as to become one with. The prefix “ con” intensifying the root of the word as “ caption.” Suffixes and prefixes can morph words to intensify their meaning. So many of our words are related to personalities and likes and dislikes which are all relative to one’s resonant emotional/feeling body, or past experience being projected into the future, that being based on unresolved imbalances one could say are heavily charged with value judgements. That behavioral box that is really no different than a dog being taught to greet the owner with great excitement - that excitement that at times is not wanted, and the dog becomes the problem when the problem was how the human programmed the dog. And the realization that punishment is never an answer because punishment is not solving the problem. It would appear that living in a resonant bubble of likes and dislikes would project the problems outside of itself and onto the surrounding objects. What a waste of potential. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">lol, It is almost as though I wrote out a rant here, about the deception of personal spell casting. Those generated fields of energy around a body. That which becomes visible if one watched a horse whisperer, or a dog whisperer. Some may react as though such a skill is a “ god given talent’ when it is not. It is more common sense in action. Projecting that skill/presence as a “ thing” outside of one’s self, will indicate the degree of separation from real sound and stable conceptual ability in a person.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Given that normalized deception has been generated for eons, speaking up to such deception will generate reactions! Yet, that is opportunity. Avoiding such is more the same that caused this problem. It is like what Christ said, “ forgive them for they know not what they do.” That “ forgiveness” does not mean an end game of acceptance only, meaning to realize the limiting and narrow conceptual projections of belief and opinions, but to then follow through and problem solve. Meaning to begin to move outside of that resonant storm to become one’s authority as life, here. It means to disperse the illusions. It means to demystify all of this.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">So, I was in this situation where I suddenly recognized that I had been somewhere else, and was in a different space. I cannot remember the switch. I do remember suddenly pulling back. It was so quick. It is like this tiny fragment as a movement. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">This in itself is tied to what it really means to define a word. Meaning, to define words in such a way that the word has an eternal quality to it. It has a steadiness that is myself standing as a “ spell” that is not a “spell” in the sense of deception. It means to stand in such a way, that like a dog whisperer, to with all of me, lend a reflection of a state that allows self-discovery, or insight into what is real, as the physical creation. If we lived here, on this earth, within the principle of what is best for all, meaning to take the good and do no harm, to give as we would receive, which means to ensure the fundamental basic needs of a human “ plant” we would build a world where our real potential as creators would come forward. We would recognize our own bubbles of illusion and stand here, with creation, which is physical - that one thing we are so impulsed to demonize. This that we as a collective have created and built into a system, which we can deconstruct and reconstruct to build a world that is best for all. </span></div>
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Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-39875862288548528482020-07-18T04:03:00.000-07:002020-07-18T04:03:15.640-07:00Day 851 The patterns of misinformation are visible. What is an emotional fire wall? <div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">In moments in interacting with others and having cross referenced my own motivations, I find that I continue to fear addressing an emotional fire-wall, despite the fact that I have moved through such many times before. It means pulling on strings of belief, it means allowing such beliefs to define me for moment and begin to sort them out in realtime, as though I am a living process in physical space of what is here. A huge fear in facing this, that is the past. In bringing things forward and defining them, one can then relate them to the greater whole. That tends to minimize hypnotic polarized beliefs. After all, we have “ owners” of resources whose means are to thwart attention. We see it every day as the media which comes to reflect our own states of being. What is being scattered and distraught, anxious and uncertain but a loss of self as life? That life that when calm is very good at recognizing patterns. How does one shut that down but with a constant and continuous banter of hyper polarized and thus scattered descriptions about parts of things? Singular, reductionist small points on a bell curve without teaching one to see the continuum? Like someone said the other day, why are our children not taught about a mortgage? Most probably because a child would realize that a loan with interest in itself denies that in taking out a loan and building a house to have a point from which to create and live, to give value and care for reality, why would one have to pay back more when the more is the stability and creation? This which is the real value? I mean, would we have the consumerist society we have if we ended usury and valued creation? A tree brings massive value to life, and yet it does not pay to live, it simply gives. In fact it gives with every cell of its body. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Being scattered and hyperbolized into value judgements of right and wrong, more than and less than, good and evil, remains as a fear of something being able to define me, despite having an experience where I realized that nothing can define me but what I accept and allow. This was a dialogue within me before Is started this process. It was spread out, and though I was aware of it, moving beyond some line within this was something I had to live. And, within this, asking questions such as “why does everyone appear to be losing a spatial sense?” That was something I was aware of before I took this initial “ awareness” forward. ON the periphery of our emotional fire-walls that consume our attention and flesh, are moments of insight because that part of us that recognizes patterns is there, even if we are living in bubbles of belief composed of worm holes that look like a techno colored rainbow. Children probably can see this, before they lose a clarity and reconcile with the game because the adults are lost within this hypnotic hyper-realized scattered and anxious distraction in a resonant time loop. Meanwhile the tree keeps on giving and pays no taxes. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Why does it appear that so many are losing a spatial sense?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Being caught in an emotional firewall would cause such an outcome.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">That is pretty simple.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What would it mean to step outside of that loss of spatial sense into really standing here as a living word? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What would that look like within me? The system programming by those racing to own resources would bring forward Star Wars, that “ force” that in my over-used imagination, would relate to a state of being clear and present, being like a tree, constant, stable and giving, without paying to live. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Sometimes within being around another person a sudden shift happens. That is in itself telling. I mean, did we have any thoughts of who was wearing a mask or not wearing a mask 6 months ago? How much of that is occupying your attention these days? How much of the narrative is focusing your attention onto some “thing” today? Is this causing more mis-takes in one’s daily life with this additional dis-traction that was non-existent 6 months prior? Compare the two. Is this occupation as a belief of wearing masks entertaining you? Giving you something to make you feel like you “care”? Is it a something to fill a void? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What would be here if the mask scenario never happened? Shift back to that. Do many other unresolved things suddenly come up that you have a resistance to addressing? Where are you? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">When we become emotional does it cause new consequences that must be addressed leading to a desire to run away and give up? From what? How many times do we realize we are being emotional and stop, having learned that an emotional reaction will lead to greater consequences?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What are the subtle things that occupy one’s attention in any given moment? What resonant ghosts are voicing themselves in your moments of life? How aware of the trees are you? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Would having the processing ability to read such in self and others, and at the same time retain an awareness on this living practical reality cause one to live that statement related to Christ where he was understood to have said, “ forgive them for they know not what they do’? I mean, it is understood that things as emotions can be triggered, admitting to something existing within the self that can be raised into an expression. That something is not what is here, it is a residual belief from the past, as we live in a practical physical reality. Building a house involves assembling the parts, piece by piece. So it is with what we allow and accepting within. This, and that we have allowed a system where we pay to be life. The trees and the animals all around us do not pay to be who and what they are. That is a human construction and why poverty is ultimately something by design. Poverty is not a condition of life, it is a condition of a system imposed on an abundant earth evident in that trees simply do not pay to live. The thing about a paper ( digitized word ) castle world is that the information can be changed with the click of a button. This was told “ given as a warning” in George Orwell’s 1984. A book written by a man who had his hand on the pulse of “ innovation”tied to that same “ paper castle.” This is the innate pattern recognition of the human at work. Christ’s words were the same thing. The Mayan’s prophecies are the same thing. Yet, if we are over-using our imaginations, and in a space where time-lines of hyper-polarized information is metaphysically imposed via metal boxes and classrooms where the the info is written by these “ victors,” what will come to resonate within our salt and water bodies? Will what is the expression of a tree resonate as the principle directing that tree-that-does-not-pay-to-live but creates-to-live or will what resonates the scattered nature of what anxiety is, what uncertainty is, what hate is, what blame and spite are, what an inability to speak in ways that empower common sense as that pattern recognition nature not being caught in a reductionist thin-king of belief where one tiny movement is believed to be what defines the whole? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Remember, everything is a system. I have to ask myself if these “shut-ins” are really about suppressing a natural ability to recognize patterns and realize that the compartmentalized thin-king is simply one point on a graph hyper-realized to sell/cell a half truth that in itself upsets the body because at its core, that pattern recognition ability knows that somehow the whole story is absent. This causes a natural agitation, manifest as more aggressive behavior because we are happy when we are being ordinary and practical and building that house and we are unhappy and anxious when we are moving as half truths just to pay to live. A tree is being itself in form and function. It is giving with every micro movement of its being, it is a part of the fabric of this physical life. It pays no taxes, it does not declare its income. It synergistically and symbiotically is with every fiber of its being giving. At the end of the day it is all a conceptual time warp. We are allowing a slow motion of limited information, as half truths, to build in a resonant storm that causes stagnant movement and destruction of the very fabric of life being shown to us every day by a simple tree. If we slow down enough, we can read the math, see the mirages of mis-information that so many have warned us against. Prophecy is not really a “ magical” state of being. It is simply a state of realizing false starting points. The innate capacity of life in the human has the power to see beyond a resonant storm and realize that we can be like a tree, and that this state of being is natural. It is who and what we really are.</span></div>
Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-67048639387767339422020-07-12T03:22:00.000-07:002020-07-13T10:31:53.005-07:00Day 850 What concepts am I allowing to define me as time-lines in space? <div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I have this sense that things are not working and it is a fear, when why things are in separation from real potential are a math. What is a time line but a state of separation? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It appears to me more and more, and this has happened before, that in moving from one point into another, in and as looking at what separates me from reality, as a programming from myself and generations of men, that the subtle poles of belief ride in on another level of understanding. It means that while I recognize more and more certain patterns of behavior and the extent of separation from being equal and one to life, the more I recognize the voices of dissent within me. I created this, I absorbed this, I became this, this determined my life. It is resonant within me. Seeing this, I mean, really looking at energy verses being more creative as in being more gentle, more calm, more present has a quality of recognizing patterns! Being lost in an energetic past-experienced-based-on-fear-generating-a belief - and with the resonant thoughts as the ideas behind that FOCUS - has a quality to it, a pressure, an inflammation like “ thing” in the body. In “ fine-tuning “ what is here, as a personality consciousness sinking into a quantum mind consciousness resonant within, that self allowed and self generated limited and stagnating thin-king distorts reality and shuts down opportunity to make the choice to really live. What I have allowed myself to BELIEVE remains with me, despite seeing with greater clarity the superstitious nature of a resonant shadow of belief. I mean, if one believes in the shadow, can one convince that person that that is a lie? One has to take that apart. Even dogs and horses need sometime to process new information. It is why our schools are timed and sequenced in such away that a child has little to no time to actually process what has been expressed in that isolated environment. If we practice confusion we master that, just as musician will master an instrument if a movement is practiced again and again! Remember it works both ways. Just stop for a moment - are you still here? Why has a master of a skill set shared with me that one does not need to practice that much if one focuses correctly? LOOK at how fast one learns to ride a bike! Why is biology appearing to be so difficult to understand? Why is it so spread out and something we learn in high school? We study, through exposure, romantic fairy tales about one kind of relationship before we are allowed to LOOK at this physical life! It is one big time warp! Why is so much dedicated to suppressing the human? We must be magnificent creatures if so much is dedicated to suppressing us! Yet, we allow it! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Thus I slow down and describe the difference. This uncovers more perspective. The moment I move into energy I am no longer problem solving, I am no longer looking at practical application. I am no longer processing the math of personification and the extremely stagnant movement of that accepted and allowed state-of-being. One can hear it in how people speak. They repeat things, more general statements about things. The compounded personification of limited values that by nature of being limited are of polarized value judgements, this compounded, as practiced movements within: they are weighted. That weight can be sensed. The innocence of a child does not YET have likes and dislikes - they simply explore everything! Try speeding up Youtube videos, acclimate to that, and listen to the difference! One might then DISCOVER the extent to which we humans are conceptually moving like slugs, and the amount of “ filler” words and ideas we move as that take up our FOCUS and distract us from the real “ measure” the real “ accounting we are living and expressing as polarized value judgements in which we are constantly locked into a very narrow focus! Would that not make learning something new appear to be more difficult? It is like one is moving against a counter ( counting/account ) force! And that force is a projection, an illusion, a superstition made larger than life! Astounding. It is visible even though it has become normalized ! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">These resonant time-lines of stagnant beliefs are weakening the physical fabric of existence. It is visible. It is visible in how one “ feels” that doing something is too hard, when the doing of something is a series of practical steps! You are stagnant in a moving train, and someone is yelling at you from those indistinguishable trees out on the landscape and that voice of life is so far away in one’s resonant storm it cannot be heard. It is more stable than that train. When someone says, “I am doing my best” I immediately think of an administrative mind set - too afraid to upset the existing status quo. And this, because even the slightest awareness of the difference, will make a HUGE difference. Why do administrators tend to self aggrandize ? They believe that doing the paper work is more important when they are maintaining the more non-creative actual work! The term “ doing my best” is in itself already a distraction from FOCUS. I see the difference as standing in the storm without reaction, and seeing the cracks, the realness in the periphery, and manipulating the space in such a way that that suppressed, as glazed over awareness, as a moment to stand equal to and with in an intention of that, with a focus on that, which is great potential, to make wider that “ crack” to allow a person to discover that “ space.” It does have an effect. The person, to some degree then stands like a deer in headlights, processing the difference, for a moment. I suppose it has to be done in such a way that what was seen cannot be unseen! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Would being in that space for a moment, begin to end the petty end-game of comparison and stop the focus on a perception of a threat of what are basically micro-aggressions in relation to the potential that exists in the way we so rapidly learn to ride a bike? When we learn that way, we tend to never forget. </span></div>
Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-35327210645735489932020-07-01T06:48:00.000-07:002020-07-01T06:48:10.801-07:00Day 849 Seeing through the emotional projections<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I am overusing the imagination! I find myself caught in inner dialogues .. lol die-logues. Like my “ god” of duality being logged or scripted within me, to then define me and resonate outwards where I will constantly validate that construction and lose a focus on reality. I move into a resonant vortex and then call myself a creator, only to realize it is a false god. Can one see where if a group did this some might faint as they move from their daily lives into that group generating one singular construction of belief? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I interacted with a person close to me and suddenly found myself absorbing their focus. It is like a thing, a real thing in the space, a movement, a mirage. I caught myself. It is a process towards limiting overthinking within myself. I also see that in some respects I may have suppressed some things. No matter, it is all a part of the process for me.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I remember I was in a classroom and had taught a lesson, had interacted in practice with the students and was at the point where I had the students practice on their own. As I walked around the room, one student looked up into space and “stared” what appeared to be a hole in the space. That is when I saw it, a huge screen in front of his eyes. He was an interesting student because he could do the math given by the system without any previous instruction. He had the program for this within him. Later I found out he was adopted, because I remember thinking after meeting his parents that something did not make sense. How did I have that thought of something not making sense in relation to this student? What was I reading that I was not aware of in detail in terms of processing what happened, and yet had the reaction when meeting his parents that they did not have that within them that that student had within him? And again the question as to why I do not have this ability under my own awareness to the extent I could stand within that in any moment? I suppose my own ability was a program in itself with movements of visibility to cause more confusion within me. That which is real must be used even in fragmentation. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I have realized that in those moments when such things happen I am usually calm and quiet within myself. This is what happened yesterday. It was such a sudden moment, and yet I slightly remember that movement of slowing down to listen. I am very close to this person, on a deep level I find it hard to become angry with them in any way. It is like we both know on a fundamental level that such is not real and not a place to go or to hold onto. I am, once again, left with a deep sense of shame. And a sadness in some respects.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">And yet, the main thing I wanted to speak about was that I could see the resistances and reactions appearing, even in a much smaller movement. That protection and defense shield. It is almost as though there was a pulling back away from having listened. Which is interesting because I was in Singapore one time. I had been told many many times that it was very dangerous to take two blond headed children to that country. The whole time I was there is was so tense about my children. I kept a rigid eye on them all the time. It was a relief to return to the shop house and have quiet. One day I had left the house and gone to an area where there were banks, to deposit money. That day, for the rest of the day, in the periphery of my thin-king I felt that I had something hanging on me. I could not shake it. At the end of that day, that part of me that gets so sick of things stood on a side walk, as I neared the place I lived, and I stopped and said “no more!”. It was like I followed that string of uneasiness within me. I met a wall and heard a surprise on the other end of it. Suddenly, that presence , that “ person” that had followed us most of the day was gone. The whole sense of heaviness was gone. In one moment. I suppose such instances accumulated throughout my life leading to a moment where I asked the internet for some answers because I was really really sick of what is going on. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Yet, it is interesting, because in that moment with the person in Singapore, it was like sensing that person was suddenly blocked off. And that is what is interesting about yesterday, because that fine line where I found myself standing with that person, there was a subtle shift. I sensed that this person could no longer look me in the eye, their head turned and looked elsewhere. I don’t really have anyone to help me with this so I have to figure it out for myself. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Anyway, I became aware of my own resistances which is most likely why I noticed the difference between the two expressions. It requires an increase in processing movements in living time. And it requires slowing down and quieting the mind. I also have this sense that I entered into some private space. Do we have shields that come up when we notice movements in the periphery of our presence? And, is this more an opening of the heart? What I find is that it is so important to work on one’s words, to improve one’s ability to process the language, because it allows one to focus on more than what is happening within one. One develops a sense of ease in processing the words, and by extension, can process more than what one is accepting and allowing within one’s self. It is just like a computer. One’s desk top cannot be cluttered with reactions as beliefs, opinions and ideas, as desires, wants and needs, one must see that and sense the greater space around one. It is simple, yet the chaos of the present system is meant to suppress this natural ability. We will not really be happy until we resolve this. And it is very practical, that is the great irony. And it reveals the absurdity of being a fractionalized resonant shadow of beliefs that have that quality of energy, meaning they rise and fall in relatively limited order because what is not real cannot stand with any constancy. And yet we are so used to standing in that, that anything else appears to be a no-thing because it lacks the addictive excitement of the spinning picture show within.</span></div>
Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-79750005477233938592020-06-29T05:13:00.000-07:002020-06-29T05:13:08.920-07:00Day 848 Steering through a spell of emotions.<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">At the moment, within and as realizing what a “ living word” means and does, it is more to realize what words I am actually living. Am I living an idea, a projection, a shadow of an idea or am I living a focus that is steady and clear, as in being in consideration of all that is here? If I notice an avoidance towards something, then I must be living something ( and this is not in relation to something like avoiding a physical flame because I know that would burn my hand!). Do I have the courage to process what I am being defined as within myself and at the same time, stand stable within and as what acts of resistance I experience within myself in real physical space? An act of resistance is in itself an admission of seeing. Such a lot of effort to ignore the present. That makes no sense. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">There comes a point where one must move, and perhaps it means moving without moving. It means to remain grounded no matter what and then to move as that state of being grounded. It is to say it requires no doubt and the realization that not every interaction with another will be as of yet as good as it could be - yet the only way to realize, to manifest something in real time that is of a living movement, requires one to actually do it. This is where one lives a thing, without thin-king. That realization that what is of life can not be destroyed in many ways, because the potential of life is a constant ,meaning in a way, real form and function that is of giving, as in finding stability in purpose, is what would be a living experience. I mean what is an “ a” and what is a “ b” ? What are these things that most probably, like pressure on a string agitated by the hair of a bow, can cause a different reaction in a crowd of people in a room. I mean I have played with this. I just slightly change the intensity of the generated sound to test the response of the crowd. At the end of the day, what generated more attention was the extent to which I attended to what I was doing in its totality. As though that physical state of being focused - which in itself generated a kind of ease and stability - was what drew in attention more than attempting to manipulate the reactions of a group. Yet, attention onto the group and their reactions was perhaps, at the same time, a part of the process of being focused on the instrument as the physical reality is as the in-form-ation of life as the physical. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I sense a pressure coming from my back area. That is ego, that is energy, it appears like a pushing down, that action learned when? It sweeps into my chest area, it is a movement. It is a personality. A personification. Or, a practice experienced in the past, seemingly invisible and anonymous. A-non-I moss/must/muse? Okay, where did I start? I started with the living word, what it means to live that. And avoidance. That pushing down movement that is like a sweeping in of something, and within that a repose of S-weeping - ness. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">How many “ DON”T DO THAT!” experiences did I have as a child, a baby, a toddler ? I could say that movement has a pulse like quality to it. lol, Then I ask myself if I am beginning to create another “ thing” as this within me. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Twice I remember greeting a couple of politicians. Senators in their space after giving some talk. Once was at a local meet and chat situation. They always appear to have men in suits standing around them. One can walk through that as those suited men assess one- checking for resonances or most probably physical “ tensions” in their role as protectors of the politician. In a way one can see them moving through their inner filing systems. It is not really any different than performing on a stage. I wish I understood this as a child - yet I did do some things that were an understanding of this, and most often I did not think too much about them. We all have these moments, it is more normal - the state of being in an emotional inner storm is the state of being abnormal. If we understand that difference, we would change this world system in short order. It is but a breath away. This and that we as humans do want to get along and participate in creation. That is our real essence. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I can see where the creation of role play as a politician or administrator in a system where that role remains in a set group of people, in a box, is that rat cage scenario. Such a form can cause separation from reality. And the inner “ rats” in that cage forget about reality and become polarized in their desires within the immediate environment as the other humans in the environs. The very design causes the problem. Lao Tzu understood that the moment one has a government one is already lost. It is necessary for politicians and administrators to change, or rather to go back into the living existence outside of a petrie-dish because their groupie-group gets isolated and loses sight of the greater whole. The fact that we pay taxes and allow such a form to make decisions with that digitized value of labor and resource use, is astounding in itself. As I understand Ronald Reagan to have said, that there is a cap on what a government can “ take” being at 15%. If we look at all the things we pay for, it is well beyond that- hidden in numerous fees. Then when the digits are not enough, more is printed and the overall value goes down with those with their hands in the printing, purchasing up resources with those additional digits as the ones who do the actual creating of things losing out. We must begin to realize that nothing can actually be owned, we are stewards of what is here. How has a veil of misinformation become so rampant in our reality today that we argue for useless masks and ignore the greater numbers of humans and plants and animals that are starving, or even that Americans are starving in an illusion of food abundance? I think these “ lockdowns” are that Rumplestiltzkin is being called out by name! The addicted-to-power/control are in great fear of losing their larping! ( larping means LIVE ACTIVE ROLE PLAY) It appears that Biden’s larping is consuming his body to the extent he no longer has enough substance to maintain the personification! He is going into dysfunction mode. From my local experience, the 80 something people I know recognize the decline because they have experienced it in their age group. It also begs the question as to how many of our words are formed. How many of our words are acronyms of behavior where we cannot remember the origin of the word? Overall, are words the system of the mind? Simply an expeditious way of conveying information, where that conveyance has also caused separation because it allows for manipulation in itself? And yet words are structures in themselves? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I realize that we build awarenesses of things. Our presence into a structure must be clear, as we build that pathway of connection because we sense the space. Words can help us structure such to convey that awareness, especially if that is clear within us, because that state of avoidance means we see. We must master words because of where we are at. If one’s inner awareness avenues are clear, we can share them with ease and patience. I find we have more patience when we are more clear in our awareness. We increase in our processing ability, to the extent we can exponentially cross reference our awareness and absorb the new. We can also fall into a trap of automation. In a way, it is to remain present, as in cross referencing our awareness with the known in every moment. That is what one does within a discipline - more visible when the trap of automation begins to happen - and yet, perhaps this happens often in our works today because there are boundaries in relation to opportunities. One must never allow one’s self to become bored. It seems like a conundrum but actually it is not. It is perfect in its function. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Why am I looking at this? Because the contrast helps me realize the difference between using a constant and consistent cross reference without protection and instead more problem solving directives, or realizing balance, or sensing what would align in more solid and stable directional movement. Another way is to say to myself that I am allowed to be this and do this. No one will give this to me but myself. I remind myself of steering a rather large sailing vessel. This requires a constant attention to all the physical factors on the water. It takes a consistent attention - as I said. It appears difficult only because our present system is one that constantly scatters our focus, and yet we allow it - and, a lack of being focused on the physical is somewhat disconcerting at first because I think it must be like being placed in solitary confinement as what one has been, as allowed, becomes more obvious. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is like a person who encounters a spider and freaks out. If they were to attempt to focus on the spider and remain calm, the difference of their resonant beliefs would be realized and countering that would take will power. A will power that is so entrenched in the practice of a reaction that countering that resonance would appear to be overwhelming. Yet, one cannot really say a person has no will power, because it took a will to become that reactive fear full of projections - mostly of doom and gloom, as ideologies divorced from reality. It is one thing to say this, another to apply it. One must first realize what motivates one’s body. Remember a baby must learn to direct its body. It has gotten to the point where I can actually say this to people despite reactions. I would have been terrified to speak up against one’s inner programmed directives because that is considered a “hurt” to be in disagreement. When in reality it is the opposite. Interesting enough, it is a disagreement of agreement, where no force is necessary, meaning no self-protection, or no self validation, or no agitation. It has a quality of great patience. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">This is that point again, as a pattern in writing these things out where shame comes up. It is a deep shame. As though a part of self was lost. It realizes so many losses, and yet behind that loss is also a tiny flicker of joy. It is uncovering a cyclical nature of self practiced and mastered avoidance tactics. And yes, this is how we work. We cannot blame anyone for our own experiences. We must be the fool, and stand up once again no matter what has happened to us. What I find most interesting within the African American community is the at an essential level, the human being that is the life within knows this too. Because of that, we know that the race game is one of distraction. </span></div>
Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-26334553705753690242020-06-24T07:08:00.000-07:002020-06-24T07:08:52.964-07:00Day 847 Letting go and letting be. <div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">As happens at times, I will read an explanation of something that I have read before but my interpretation will be different. I will suddenly see another dimension of something. It is a process of acceleration in that one is processing what is here, be it a physical thing, or a piece of information. One recognizes the patterns or, requires less to process the overall form. In that moment something comes forward around the form. It is a process of being able to hold something and look at it from different angles while at the same time relating that to the greater whole. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I can see where distractions in so many forms in today’s world can slow this process way down, that in itself consuming attention to the extent one is caught in maintenance and dealing with the outer world. It is actually a form of psychological war-fare. Demonizing one thing at the expense of others, is what we do when we ignore the physical, this earth. The illusion of some far off god is really a crime against life, especially when the principle in all religions is to give as one would receive, which means to respect all things, to look at, or connect with, or recognize all things, which requires being present and here. Here is a physical reality. That reality requires the fabric of it to support it. The whole idea that we humans must pay to exist is probably one of the biggest slight-of-hands ever created! Do trees pay to exist? Do deer pay to exist? Are we paying to exist because we are participating in raping the resources without consideration of the environment? Are we actually paying for the abuse we are participating within? Like we are paying to rape this earth because we know we are raping this earth and as such our payment is basically a punishment for the rape we allow within and as every product we purchase without thought and recognition of where that product exists from in all the necessary steps of its creation? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The extent to which we/I have created some ideology, resonant within, that there is some higher state of being, on/in/of some distant “ space” where a higher “ self “ will eventually come to be is an illusion, a distraction, a lie. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I read a comment where someone was holding such a concept within them and speaking it out with such certainty is was astounding. It is stagnant in a way, because it is a belief which has a bit of truth to it, that this person has a “ higher” self that is somewhere out there, and will eventually be the place this person will go to, meaning that higher self being a state that can only exist somewhere else. I can just see the focus of the body and the attention in the eyes not being present, a huge resonant bubble of belief, in the form of a vortex and/or film around the body of this person writing. I suppose we cannot unsee what we have seen. To some extent, I remember my father having a dinner party with “ ghost busters” years and years ago, where it was said in a moment that heaven could not be trusted. A few years later, I experienced a moment where I realized everything I knew was a lie. Existence took up a lot of my time, and yet, in moments, I would purchase books looking for descriptions of my experiences. In once instance it took about ten years but I finally found it. That book became a treasure to me because I kept this part of myself to myself. When I began to speak up about it, I would shake so bad it was incredible to me. It brought forward other questions. Too bad this was not realized when I was young, yet I am thankful for some recognition at the moment. It is, overall, less painful to speak up than to remain in hiding. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">There must be very deep roots within me, as resonant constructions, of a fear of speaking against that imagined “ god.” There is also the realization that a steadiness can be created, or allowed to let be, as standing and speaking up in focus of reality here, and at the same time in recognition of the fractionalized separation into limited and stagnant processing of information - this which has a quality, or temper, or feel to it. The words must be aligned to the living flesh as this living resource called earth. This earth is the real magic in action. The over-use of the imagination into a layered picture show creates a vortex of separation from being focused here in this practical living reality. When I get to this point there remains a part of me that wants to weep in sheer shame of my own rejection of life. These cycles or time loops of belief within me. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">When my husband died, when I found him, a part of my inner statement to myself as what I was being was that something so magnificent could be lost. How could I have such a thought unless I realized it within myself? The next thought being that I could never tell a lie again and that the process of walking that would be very long and very hard! Had the pieces of space that had come through the cracks of my own resonant storm accumulated to the extent I had then accelerated the process simply in making the choice to do so? And how could one cause the same in others? Because ultimately the patterns are the same, and self realization is what each and everyone desires.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I am writing this out to realize more of what it means to stand as a living word. A relationship to what is here in the practical, as in realizing that I am life and that this life is physical - with some recognition at the same time that our systems at present, consume our attention through so many invisible ideologies. A virus is invisible, and in many accounts has never been seen. Our “ gods” are invisible. Our natural world is filled with some invisible evil - this a distraction from a realization that we are the physical, which cannot really be owned but by some idea. Our latest war was based on an idea of terrorism. Where to hide the truth but in plain sight, through projecting the blame onto some unnamed, anonymous entity? That gives a lot of grey area to play in. So many things are general instead of specific. Even our school systems base their program selections on studies done in isolation using practices established from other studies done long ago and that are unable to be duplicated. How many parents actually investigate this when looking at what their schools are doing in detail? If one goes to a school committee meeting there is basically no one there - myself having been a parent who did not attend such meetings. The meetings themselves formulated in a way where a speaker has a limited amount of time to make a case. This a necessity because so many of us are emotional and our processing speeds are stagnant so it takes an effort to speak up. Emotional speaking is a lot like being in a soup. It is no wonder children begin to play with that soup and manipulate to no longer trigger a reaction from that resonant storm. I mean, compare this to the realization that children are not born racist or sexist or classicist ! Would such beliefs within slow down a natural ability of pattern recognition? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">As well, this contrast within being able to organize things, meaning to get all the necessary things in order to complete a task. We have all done such things, as cooking or gardening is such a process. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">When things become complicated most likely there are some unprocessed beliefs getting in the way of walking a process to accomplish a goal. What is necessary in such a situation is to purify and realign one’s words, to remove the polarized beliefs of value that exist in a form or protection and defense for manipulating that resonant state of ideologies separate from reality. They are there determining one’s movement and distracting one from realizing what is of stability and constancy, what requires no remembering, what is an ease of knowing. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">If our words are clear, our intentions are more clear and as such, more able to be heard. This would take time and repetition, not so much to memorize the information, more to experience something that as I see it at the moment, to experience something that cannot be unseen. Something that enables one to recognize one’s attention to limited relationships, evident in the limited and stagnant moving utterances from a human locked in being way up their in an over-used imagination causing separation and fragmentation in their presence. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What I ask myself is why I have had realization that nothing can define me but what I allow, mostly realized in moments with others where I suddenly realized what they were saying did not define who and what I am, and, even feeling incensed that such an attempt would be made, which is another form of distraction in itself! A deep anger at this, something I think I absorbed from my father - his degree of caring on another level being evident in certain moments of insight - funny how there is a correlation between the extent to which someone is reactive and the opposite potential of being incredibly insightful in other moments. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">There is space here, and that space allows one to process things. Within that space there is more space to realize an awareness of more than limited thinking as one’s shield of protection and defense in a moment. I supposed there is an underlying horror of becoming a spaced out, slow moving thing as a personality. Why this is coming up in this moment with such words, may be from some distant memory. Within my own anxieties is a sense of being strung out into some stagnant thing that has me feeling like I will be buried in a coffin, one of that same anonymous invisible design. And this before any value judgements where developed according to the environment in which I was born. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I can see where understanding this would lead to greater patience, and allow more fun to be utilized in relation to standing more as a beacon of stability, of constancy and calm. I can see where this understanding would lessen a fear of facing limitation and realizing that an insistence and intensity in a focus of a person would be more realized as something that cannot define myself here, and at the same time realizing that buried in that is a potential that is projected outside of the self ( to keep it safe?) and to realize how to walk that back into recognition and self acceptance. This, done with a steady kindness, because it is understood into a form of knowing without an attachment of a fear of loss of such ability. I look at kindness because in some ways, what i know as aggressive behavior is somehow not where I want to go. I liken it to playing a video game where one must become silent and watch the patterns before moving the figure through the revolving door in the video game. It is like playing music, one listens, gets the tempo and joins - and not in a rushed or aggressive way. One just slides right in! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being caught in a resonant construction of limited and spaced out and stagnant information.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being caught in a box, a resonant storm of energy, of and as an elevation of “thought.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separation myself from myself in relation to avoiding being stuck in a resonant box, making such a thing a huge thing, and as such running from such a thing, instead of standing in equality and oneness with and as my perception to see realize and understand that which would ground the moment in ways that diminish or dis-spell such a state of being.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear such a thing.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to hide from such.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel overwhelmed in relation to addressing or being exposed to such a thing, making it larger than life, instead of standing in recognition of such a thing to dis-spell the spell that is a projection from within the physical body of the person.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be paranoid of the paranormal. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to run from such a resonant entity, and to then pretend I did not understand such a thing, when there within this I already knew that I had allowed this, and could therefore blame no one but myself.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remember the desire I had that motivated such a movement to create such an inner resonant body that I pretended was following me yet knew was already within and from me, as the focus in the memory was more of an idea of a holy ghost in the machine as a thing - to run from. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be occupied by these ideas, and within that to not see realize and understand that means of my own distraction, as I hide in fear of my own construction, as realizing what the motivating desire was within that initial movement.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand the extent with this, in and as a fear of confrontation, when in effect, I have actually seen this to the extent in a moment I realized that nothing could define myself here but what I allowed where in that moment, I realized that everything, everything I had been lead to believe was a lie, and within that to not see realize and understand what that meant in reality, in relation to the present system.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand and recognize that sense of what I call being “ loopy” which is telling in itself because that is in essence what i am doing, within and as looping around in a belief, instead of grounding myself here and speaking up in recognition that we are physical, that what is here is us, that nature is us, that it is creation, where this is realized because if this were NOT reality, why are the powers that be attempting to own this earth?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I as life can be hurt, within and as the realization that only that which is life within us remains, which cannot be owned but by acceptance and allowance.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand, as my beingness, as myself that I am life here, and as such am able to cross reference all things and stand in recognition of all things, considering the consequences of every action within me, to bring what is constant and stable and eternal here where this focus of and as me speaks in ways that open acceptance and recognition of the physical reality as this is life here.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to breath, to play, to slow down, to read here, to let go of resistances and process movements here, recognizing my own words and the word constructions of others, as we can only speak our experience.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to letting go and letting be for a moment, and listening to what can with stand the test of time, here within and as a practical cross reference and investigation of all things building relationships equal and one in recognition of the physical as life in expression here.</span></div>
Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-86313209678093768112020-06-22T05:48:00.000-07:002020-06-22T05:48:59.268-07:00Day 846 What does it mean to actually live a word?<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What does it mean to actually live a word? It has to do with focus, yet not in the way we have been taught in many ways. We place so much of our focus into our imaginations losing a sense of the design and expression of the physical creation around us. That physical creation is stressed because it has been ignored at the expense of projections of ideas about how things should be. When we have a medical system that determines things in petrie dishes in labs removed from the living reality, we are not working with creation as the physical. We begin to force the physical into some design determined by what? By another physical creation overusing the imagination. What was religion after all but a consequence of separation from reality causing one to believe that there is something greater outside of one’s over-use of the imagination! As I mentioned in my last blog, the way I sense it today is a form of telescoping a focus into a projection. This does look like some vortex form flowing out from our eyes. We are attracted to one another resonances, both the real essence of the person but also, and more so, the projected belief systems. Our projections are also of that which we rejected within ourselves, meaning we chase our greatest strengths which has become our greatest weaknesses. We resist values. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Imagine growing up in a home with adults who are doing this? It would be hard for a child to counter this, even if they spoke simply a clearly. That projection would get in the way, that emotional fire-wall. The beingness way down at the end of the tunnel of projection would be spending all their time managing their projection, attempting to validate their construction, attempting to pull everything in in relation to their construction. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">People lie all the time, yet this is visible. It has a vacuous feel to it. That is a certain focus of the body. IN our innocence as children we must see this. After all, we then learn to not trigger that which upsets that vortex maintenance. That vortex maintenance is so insistent and lost within itself. And one can see that the core is not focused in reality, it is focused on the projection. That would look somewhat like a momentary lack of real presence, with a quality in the moment of hoping no one noticed.That would have a thinner-ness to it. It is a lot like being able to change qualities from intense and rapid, to soft and rapid, much like playing music. The more one masters the instrument, one begins to play with so many different dimensions of intensity and volume. being able to change from one extreme to anther is really cool. How well one knows the structures, enables greater immediate change, which is basically being able to process with ease. Our bodies and how we focus are really no different. We have simply suppressed this.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I suppose that in communicating with others, it would be allowable to completely let things go and stand within another’s total state if being, and read the narrative, the pressures the imagery. Yet one would have to know the language of symbol. Or sense the strings of association to values. I could see where this would actually be fun and not something to fear. Nothing can actually define the self but by acceptance. The demons in existence could do nothing to anyone but by allowance. The media today is simply an outward manifestation of this that I speak of. As a consequence, we are all masters of this, we have simply mastered ignoring this! That is the level of greatness and creativity within each and everyone of us as life. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I suppose my anxiety is a consequence of my own suppression of seeing this, of living being presence and focused with an ease. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What would it mean then to live a word? It would mean to focus to define the space and where it, as humans, focus and do not focus. It is like a form, a thing. It is visual and auditory and tangible. How do I change to protect from what I perceive as an onslaught of a threat, which can only exist if I believe that something is attempting to change my own inner projections from an overuse of the imagination. Yet, nothing can be lost that is actually of life. Thus, nothing can really be lost that is real. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is like playing an instrument, being both big and small at the same time. Being able to move in counterpoint and remain stable. I remember reading the Tin Drum when I was 12. I was fascinated by the perpetually screaming child. I thought the book had an answer, but it really painted a symbol picture of innocence’s response to a life out of balance. In reality that is what each one is doing, screaming to become what has been lost. Each one is screaming as that insistent protection of an overuse of the imagination to protect a construction of protection that is also believed to be a means to an end that is as itself spread way out into time lines of values causing a disconnect from being present. It is a huge game of distraction which is basically what our media is today. And, as well, our corporate and government administrations. Administrations built of people doing the same thing. I meet many people who say they don’t get involved in politics and go home after work to do their own thing. That is probably one is the greatest evils in the world today, too - especially in America - that exists. It is an abdication of self responsibility, it is an abdication of self as life. It is a state of ignorance, a state of suppression which will accumulate and consume the flesh just as the means of the media in itself is consuming the flesh as the very fabric of the physical. It is a mis-use of resources. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk in a projection of mis-information, as limited story of imagery overall creating a separation from life, and stagnating a natural processing ability as such state of separation is distraction and a busyness of imagery in protection and defense of and as an awareness of an abdication of self as life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that illusion of the present system, itself being a reflection of what each is being and doing within and as the very substance and the self as life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that in reality all is in plain sight, within and as every small movement within the space of here, as the physical.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being defined as anything, when what I am is here as the physical as this earth as creation in expression.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take things personally, as though the projected belief of another, as a state of separation into ideas, beliefs and opinions creating wants needs and desires can have an effect upon me, when in reality nothing can define me but what I accept and allow.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into blame which is spite, as being lame in action, within and as self pity and guilt, as realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as living limited information, causing polarized values, which is a form of stagnation, thereby in living a lie, the maintenance of that lie-by-omission, distracts and consumes my attention slowing down an ability to process the living reality that is me and is all around me here as this living physical creation as life manifest called earth - as was said that a “ heaven” needed to be brought down to earth.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that in many ways I am able to stand equal and one in thought, word and deed to realize want need and desire as being an exposure of separation from self as life, and as that, the very beingness of self as life, wanting to become the living word, to realize one greatest strength in expression as connection with all things here.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand in thought, word and deed, the living word and what that means in every moment here as life in expression.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be pulled into beliefs as thoughts as spoken words of ideologies that are abstracts about things, where an end game of and as some invisible belief system with a promise of a “ more” being something out there in the future, that is “ incredible” which as a word suggests some nebulous idea of what we are as being a more as a “ cread” when this in itself is a distraction from being present in a reality where resources are mis-used to transfer wealth into digits that are accumulated into the hands of a few, as those who cannot exist without the resources being manipulated and the many hands of humans interacting with said resources, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize this simple fact and within that to stand up and speak even within and as facing resonant layers of mis-information holding this illusion in place, as just as it is to clean up a home so it is to “ clean” up resonant beliefs to stand equal and one to what is best for all here in respect of life that is physical. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What would be a living word mean? It would have to have a quality of being eternal, something so clear, with such clear intent it would be readily realized - even within facing resistances to speak past that resonant storm of scattered information that has a quality of not being ablate sustain its belief? It would either cause interest or more reaction. This means a response of a reaction would indicate a button had been pushed that upset one’s inner construction! Thus, friction means one has upset a belief, a self definition. Simultaneously, that distraction would slow down processing abilities Using words in protection and defense of personalities would dis-tract hearing stability. Yet what would each seek but to remove the veil of this to live with self honesty and self trust, to use one’s ability to focus and understand form and function to the extent one creates, within and as realizing there are no problems and only solutions! This could as well be called balance. This balance manifest as the body being in a state of homeostasis, which can be done on earth. This would require a more respectful use of resources, and unconditional support within realizing basic needs in relation to what builds and supports the physical. </span></div>
Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-30376981485514830022020-06-20T03:37:00.001-07:002020-06-20T03:37:31.489-07:00Day 845 Beginning to see my own scattered intent? <div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">There is this tension or pressure or tightness in my chest. I notice it happens as the patterns I have walked move through their motions, which means there are issues that have not been addressed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">These past weeks I noticed my reaction to “ big brother” once again came up. I notice I catch myself in my mind in imaginations or worst case scenarios with some revenge dramas playing out. This is not new to me, before I found desteni I noticed such things in relation to another situation in my life. I took a stance that was of “ who needs this!?” in relation to the thoughts moving within me and as me. I decided to change them by focusing on another way of seeing things. I actually changed the imagery and had a reaction as a voice coming up from deep within me telling me to stop. I actually forgot about this. What is cool about this is that it is a recognition, a cognitive movement, an understanding on a deep level that our thoughts are things, and that we can change them. If I can get to this realization myself, anyone can. Within this, I realize I did not apply this same realization to everything that was coming up within me! Such is the limitation of selective reasoning and as a contrast the degree to which I/we compartmentalize things where something is valid in one area but not in another. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Yesterday, I received a notice. I had inadvertently gone through a red light while driving around in NY. I actually remember the incident - and this I attribute to slowing down and breathing and listening to myself. I remember having passed the ample and noticed that it was red after the fact. I did not know the area very well and recognized that I had missed seeing the relatively obvious ample ! Why I mention this is because I got the letter from my mail box and read the words on the envelope and went into an immediate panic. I slowed down and recognized this and understood to open the letter before making a judgement. It was about that red light - the one I remembered. It was not something to go into a reaction about.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I watched the movements within me, being somewhat conscious of them from having paid attention to my own state of being. I recognize that even at this moment, I want to hold onto a fear of “ big brother” as a belief in our government being extremely corrupt at the moment. I hear stories from others. Yet, one person I know, involved in a government action, has behaviors that are so emotional they tend to trigger more discord than problem solving.I attempt to change this. One thing I say to them is that administrative bureaucrats are people who simply want their paper work in proper order, and will work with others to ensure that task is done. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">If I apply this same perspective to other areas of my life, where could I go? The situation where I changed my thoughts, and this reaction to paper work, and my experiences reveal to me that things are not as dire as I assume. And, I realize that were more people to see beyond their own emotional firewalls, where would we be? We would be more practical and realize the practicality of this existence, this creation. Being here in the moment, realizing we are physical and that this reality is in a creative FORM that when properly respected, could become a world where we as humans step forth as creators instead of emotionally reactive entities living in a spaced out thin set of images in a superimposed or hyper projection of ideas, beliefs and opinions. “ Hyper” means below. We are not “ running” on ourselves as life and it is visible, we can hear/here it. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I also can see where being projections tenses up the body, as though the body is a telescope. What we are telescoping must be visible. Children must see this before they become a telescope themselves, that state of being that shuts down their natural constructively critical and creative ability to realize solutions, or realize balance in all things. That state that is lost by the third grade, because their words have become aligned to value judgements instead of being related, or associated to the living reality, the practical reality, the reality that lives providing basic needs to regenerate the living fabric of this life that is physical. This reality that religions and projected ideologies ignore at the expense of this means that is life in expression. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I realize that limitation is stretching out into time, into limited value judgements as a story, shielded by justifications, all causing a state of separation and stagnation in the life of the individual. Time is separation from the living expression of reality. It is most probably why Christ said we have to become the living word, as opposed to being a self defining value judgement word. One slows down processing ability, the other is of an innate ability to see reality head on! And, I can more understand the argument for realizing the basic needs of all things here. Were basic needs met the financial situation would not be of such great inequality. And, our supermarket shelves would not have over-processed-dead-never-decaying food products. We most likely would not have obesity, cancer or any other disease. If one has lived in a resonant bubble of misinformation that is limited and of polarized value judgements it is a stress on the body and the body gets locked into what it practices - which is the movement of creation, regardless of one’s actions. Time is like strings wondering off into some alternate reality where we hover above this reality like a balloon on a string, this is the nature of projections. Can all the parts be brought back into common sense to birth life back through the physical? It must be. It is the only way.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I see it at the moment, that this is a practical conceptual thing. Meaning, one practices listening and standing equal to things, to then with few words, communicate with effect. Somewhat like opening up that ability to read things that jump out at one in a moment, like when I went through that red light and knew I had done it and that it would have an effect. Like an instant recognition of more than what was the immediate focus - that part of me that missed the red light over on the side of this rather broad cross section of parallel and angular streets. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to, as my beingness, see, realize and understand that amazing capacity of myself as life to read what it here, and within that, though through my own time-lines of belief causing separation, to be absent in listening to my own common sense, as the very presence of me, here as the life that is who and what I am here.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to immediately go into doom and gloom, to envision a projected worst-case-scenario idea within and as me, before investigating the details.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to at the same time I realize my own inculcated ignorance, to also forgive myself for shutting down a natural ability to sense the many moving parts around me, and to within that, expand from and as that to realize in thought, word and deed what is best for all.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">When and as I find myself reacting to words as things, on paper, or as beliefs within and as what is projected from within me, to breath, to slow down and to realize my own habituated time-lines of belief need not define who and what I am in a moment, and at the same time, to embrace them, and enfold thumbtack into common sense within and as realizing that I am physical, I am here, I am life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to slowing down and breathing to remain more stable and quiet to see realize and understand my own orchestrations of beliefs, opinions and ideas, as reactions that are polarized into extremes appearing to be absolutes, to being them back to self and balance them into being practical and present within and as respecting who and what I am as life here, which is physical. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to accepting the gift go life that is me, as my beingness, and my presence, and within this to build an intent that can withstand the test of time, to live stability and share a focus into a consideration of all things here, to live in thought, word and deed that which respects and recognized the abundance of life that is here as the physical which is creation manifest. </span></div>
Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-91464847790053515012020-06-17T03:22:00.000-07:002020-06-17T03:22:05.580-07:00Day 844 Payperwork My allowance of distraction What is it showing<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I realize that I have a fear of big brother. This comes up in moments when I am required as the system to fulfill paper work for the system. I have such an adverse relationship to getting paper work done, all those crossing of the letters and filling in the blanks.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It can give me a headache from overthinking about it. Usually, when I go and walk through the steps, it is never as bad as I anticipated. Within this, in relation to at times having made mistakes, usually there is some help to correct the mis-aligned information. The system workers usually wanting their own paper work to be complete and correct. So, why this resistance and anxiety in relation to paper work?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The other side of this is that I have recognized this, and walk completing it with specificity. I organize things in a way that I have the information at hand to quickly complete the task. It is leading up to this that the anxiety comes along, even despite my own organizing and completion. I know to just do it, because if I don’t it is my own accumulating anxiety that will lead to more problems than not having completed the paper work! Though this is much smaller, I still get a headache in relation to doing such tasks and I still have some dread around this issue. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">IN effect, there remains issues within confrontation. Always, addressing limitation, or constructions of a narrow focus, the quality of which, for me, has this insistence to it, a constriction, a pressure. It is an anxiety of opening such things up. Or perhaps the opposite and realizing my own desires around this. And yet, what is real cannot be lost. Letting go is actually not that difficult when the outcome is realizing there is only one choice, and that is the choice to realize what will remain constant and withstand the test of time, so no baggage of covering a lie exists to be remembered to protect. That is not fun. Rather not go there. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I also notice with all the hysteria on the news, I begin to feel overwhelmed, that sense of addressing an emotional fire-wall as being too difficult when often as I have experienced, and worked through, it means to repeat something, in same or different ways without any inner reaction, as though a FOCUS on a goal that is clear has an intent that can gather more attention even in the face of an emotional storm, but it does take patience and a steady pace. I have used this, yet am not yet consistent within this. There are probably moments in the “music” present, where key questions will move things closer to sensing a clearer intention/intension! Someone can tell me about this, yet, like learning to ride a bike, it must be experienced. That takes doing, by the self, in real time. lol, in “ reel” time, meaning within the reeling emotions generating a movement in this present hyper tense reality while also realizing a constant within being equal to what is real and eternal on this earth. I liken this to realizing that a tree functions in so many giving and abundant ways, producing within pure giving and yet it pays no taxes, and requires no wage to be and do what it is in its form and function. The contrast may appear out of context but is it really ? No it is not. The gap between where we are as the present system and the pure giving function of a tree seems like too big of a jump. I have a sense that so many would react to such a concept, but in reality the difference is not so far fetched. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The thing about being in an emotional fire wall of value judgements as reactions within poles of good and bad, is the un-complicatedness of realizing the simplicity of a tree because it would deny resonant beliefs that things need be complicated! Once we know something, it is no longer complicated. As some doctors have said about how the body functions as “ it is not a rocket science, anyone can understand it,” so is it within and as most things. Once we understand them, we share because we realize it is understandable. It is a red flag when an administration or politician attempt to convince one that things are complicated -that simply means opening things up would expose self interest. This in itself reveals that hiding self interest exists in using chaos, hiding self interest exists behind a belief that things are complicated. The complicated is being used as an end-game. The complicated has become god , as in the complicated has become normalized! Repetition does not equal truth. Recognize the red flags because they exist within patterns. Even a leaf on a tree has a pattern. Patterns exist in all structures, thus they are visible. Humans learn to walk all by themselves, thus we are amazing at understanding temporal/spatial geometry. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is one thing to imagine a thing and another to stand with presence in the living movement and expression of what is real. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a sense of doom and gloom around doing the paper work of the present system.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be aggravated, to feel aggravated, to be an emotion of aggravation, and to hold onto that as a response of and as things should not be this way, of and as having a sense that the paper world is meant to consume the focus and presence and life of and as me, to distract from being aware of patterns in the greater whole, as the system, which in itself is a fear, a fear of believing that I cannot process the information and a “thing” that takes up my space where I would rather focus on other things, when in effect, and especially with some systemic computer software tools I can organize my expenses a little at a time, and remove the accumulation of doing paper work, as this is one of the advantages of modern technology, and thereby freeing myself to to focus on other things, or from another perspective be more aware of my own habits and attentions.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that when and as I react to having to do paper work, I am reacting in a way of self interest, because I am aggravated that I am distracted from focusing on what i want to focus on, which begs the question as to what I desire to focus on, which I am not sure of because I have allowed myself to focus on the lack, to focus on what I have judged as a force or thing hindering my focus, which in itself creates a resistance to something which in itself is a state of friction that is taking up my attention and for this I forgive myself.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand, even though I have organized the steps to get this paper work done in a timely and orderly manner, there remains this value judgement behind this, within this, as being aggravated by having to do this busy work, all of which could be automated today, to free myself to, as the human up to be able to focus on other things, like planting a garden, for example, yet I understand that any movement of resistance or aggravation, is a distraction, and thus I am making a mountain out of a mole hill, causing inner friction and separation from remaining simple and present as being in that space where the practical gets done, and for this I forgive myself.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, within and as realizing that reactions cause friction and by extension distraction even if slight and even if I appear to be organizing that which I deem to distract, in ways that gets things done with immediacy, there remains a focus on that righteous sense of injustice, most probably causing some occupation within and as being aggravated with the present system, and yet I in my aggravation and desire to not focus on something, which in itself is distraction, am within my own organization in distraction from being aware of subtle movements within and as how I focus as my human physical body, and for this I forgive myself.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as me, to the extent my intensions are clear, and easily to share, in all simplicity to the extent the focus of me as problem solving, is more constant and as such more readily conveyed because this is the extent of the ability of life within to recognize patterns, which create states of being, and as such can be transferred even within emotional storms, as this is the nature of life, and therefore, can be held and shared, of which to become and be in clarity, means to have the patience to live and express this, to the extent there exists no more states of being miserly, and for this I forgive myself.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to when and as I see myself becoming a movement of and as aggravation, to stop and to breath and to slow myself down, and to recognize this as being in a way, a miser, as this is acting in self interest, which means a motivation of desire exists within and as being a state of an ideology, that is separation from remaining present within and as becoming steady within and as realizing there are no problems and only solutions, within and as understanding that becoming the living word means having a clear intention one that is able to be shared and as such will take standing with an emotional firewall to the extent that storm in a teacup expresses its limitations into a form of completion that could be called a burning out, where for a moment, perhaps through the gap something clearer will become an insight and yet this must exist within the environment in a clear way in order to be recognized to allow a seed of another option to be sensed and thus realized on a journey to self expression as life here, to become as constant and giving as a tree here. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Within this, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the beauty of this overall, and within this to not see realize and understand outside of allowing this distraction of aggravation to see realize and understand as my beingness, that within and as creating, or rather allowing the life that is here as me, to come forward as the expression or utilization of and as myself in focus that is usually of the simple, and that requires investigation, is more the will of life as me, and as such has a nature of lending patience, and realizing that nothing can define me but what I allow, within and as realizing that the solution is simple and abel to be imparted because that is the nature of life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that when and as I become aggravated, I stop and I breath, as my beingness, and I slow myself down, to ground me within and as respect of all things, to see realize and understand solutions that are visible within and as having an intention that as a state of focus as being, stand equal and one with and as a structural means to withstand the storms of friction and conflict as polarized beliefs as a loss of focus within and as who and what and where and how it is that we exist here on this physical earth of many trees, to in always, always live with an intent that shares what is best for all, as I am here. where there is only here.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding my capacity as life to realize the ordinary and to within that understand that nothing can define who and what I am and that the life that is me is a constant, and cannot be lost, thus within this, I am able to with great patience, stand and recognize emotional patterns and distractions of focus and to allow that expression as a process of self reflection and to and with that realize the simple that organizes and removes the complicated, to become more the living word within and as recognizing what is best for all in every movement to turn the tides and generate a momentum of expression that is aligned with and as what is best for all and as recognition of the simple as what is all around us as the physical reality that is life in expression here.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to remaining here, and to move through the shame that comes up in moments in relation to all of this, to let go of and as value judgements of and as polarized beliefs to realize what is constant and as such can be stood with in a constancy that withstands the test of time, to become a steady pace of and as the living word to the extent less is more, as my intentions are clear which transfers within and as being more present as being equal and one with the life that is what generates a tree that exists here and gives unconditionally in every moment here.</span></div>
Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-30956037348513010422020-06-12T07:40:00.000-07:002020-06-12T07:40:54.083-07:00Day 843 #Words are structuring us! <div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I had an experience this week that I would call standing in a movement, an idea, a imagery of a value. I wondered from where this sudden “ state” generated from. It appeared to be suddenly around me. To some extent I, sensed this came as though through a thread, from a person that I had just met doing that moment. It is like stepping into something, or noticing a breeze within one’s environment.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I can see where when we move as energy, we live in a limited movement. Here, relationships would be defined by limited truths in a state of comparison within a singular value. It is a form or processing everything around us, yet we get stuck in that momentary form as a value judgement as an inform! A picture formed and picked up. It is somewhat like being in an orchestra where there exists counter musical dialogues coming up or emerging and developing in one moment. I supposed my more cultural oriented background is based on seeing things this way. My father a writer, my mother a painter, and myself having studied music. I was taught to draw and in turn taught my children. I also judge people by the paintings and imagery they have in their homes. I know … you can say it! lol Potential with only rudimentary development in relation to structuring one’s expression has somewhat become our present system. We focus on potential more than structural development. This means we are projecting ourselves, as those momentary bubbles of ideologies that have a truth but run in limited relationship. Meaning, a few values are hyper-realized and hyper focused upon, enlarging limited rationing which of course must be a super-imposed shadow when made larger than reality. This a projected state that the self can become lost within. IT is no irony that imagery becomes more and more infantile. Management of living in projected values consumes so much body substance, and attention the imagery must simplify like a disorganized file taking up space and using less to order the information behind it. In reality, a simplified image allows for individual history or experience ( value judgement experience) to be filed behind the image, the attention requiring a simplistic image because as a projection, we can only focus on so much! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Look at humans when they become very emotional. They use a more static form of language. They require many simple sentences to tell a story. Their story telling, or information relating is more drawn out! And, at the same time, filled with many trills, or filler words. Just look at how much we use the word “ like” when speaking to someone else! it has become normalized to the extent that it is expected. It shows a processing PACE within us too. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">This is made more visible as one improves language and reads. As one structures and practices one’s words, just as a musician practices notes, or a painter practices building a hand - eye coordination and gains trust in their ability to RELATE to their movement and the movement around them, their structural transmissions become tighter and more balanced. There is also more room for play.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Compare this to our present education system! We send this great sentience into a box, a petrie-dish education and have our potentials as our children, memorize a set body of information, where the competition is to do the regurgitation of this limited FORM lacking any real living application in real physical time! That generates competition within a narrow focus! It is mis-using the imagination! IT is FORCING a limited narrative, causing separation from a cross reference from reality! So, everyone becomes walking bubbles of value generated movements instead of remaining in a constant!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What are the corporations doing but moving to OWN that which cannot be owned but by a delusion as a movement as a form, as a construct written out on paper ( another tree thing) and place on an ALTER in a system that moves via information transmission from one closed box to another! That is insanity and a GREAT disrespect for earth. The patterns of this becoming clearer and clearer as one practices one’s measures, as words that FOCUS the body. A more FOCUSED body that has or is developing the tools of words, will open up a GREAT HUMAN ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE PATTERNS! At the same time I am astounded and ashamed of myself, I am also dis-covering a sense of awe at the fcking AMAZINGness of what we as humans can be and do! We can actually have fun catching ourselves being caught in resonant bubbles that inherent in the design, are limited information! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">This week, I also placed myself in a moment of “ four-sheets-to-the-wind.” Meaning, I just decided to go with whatever came up. I listened to someone and then related what I wanted to say through using their conflicts to tell stories of behaviors in living moments that I sensed would answer to their limitations, as them saying “ How can you help me?” I notice that is they become silent they are processing - and this can take time. It reminds me of a woman who has built a board of buttons on the ground that will sound certain words. Her dog uses this word-sounding board to communicate. IT takes the dog some time to process. It appears that the dog stands there with no intention of doing anything. The dog will stand in silence and then suddenly move towards the board and push some buttons. Because we are so used to living in our bubbled inner constructs of value judgement evident in taking a long time to say something, having many word fillers such as “ like” it will take acclimating to that strung out tempo that uses rudimentary imagery lacking real definition to speak. It is a slow processing ability, very slow at times. It has a quality of a loss of stability, of constancy, of “ getting things done.” It is all a math.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">If we look at the media, it reflects this same measure. Just listen to the constant musical accompaniment! That same thing is used at sport games to sway building emotion in the audience! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">If we are moving as emotional value judgements we are easily triggered. The many police vids online show this. Like any system, it is not necessarily that the structural system is a “ bad” it is some “ bad apples in the systems that use this for control; either to move up in a system by creating scenarios that get that point to enable a person to move up a pay scale. Also, our insecurity is a consequence of this overall. There is not constant, thus self trust and self esteem are absent. And that absence of caused by dissonance covering it up because humans are great at pattern recognition! Even if that pattern recognition is being a system of causing discord and chaos, a well known divide and conquer mechanism. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">You are an instrument. The muscles and skeletal systems will hold the pressures of holding limiting information within. What you speak, what you focus on, and the development of tools to structure yourself, will determine the life you experience. The potential to be your best is always there, until a mis-use of this consumes the body. We can maintain a focus on this to the extent we sense the strings or threads of information having an effect on the body. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The present system uses fear to create long drawn out threads of mis-information creating shadowy resonance as set-bodies of information, heavily polarized and of limited values lived in a slow movement as the processing of information! it is a math, a valley of smoke and mirrors! And, it has been normalized! And, it has a visible measure to it if one takes the time to begin to see around this normalized state of being. How can relationships be fulfilling if we are skimming the surface of what we are as life? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">When we as a collective begin to read this, everything is going to be alright. We will weep in the realization of the extent to which we shut ourselves off from who and what we are as life. While at the same time laugh in a state of joy. It will be a moment if sunshine and rain, those moments when the rainbow comes out and shows us the borders of the extent to which we refracted life and created an alternate reality dividing heaven from earth. It is time to bring heaven back down to earth to manifest our real potential as life. </span></div>
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Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-2907984945244554392020-06-10T07:28:00.000-07:002020-06-10T07:28:50.325-07:00Day 842 Facing confrontation to bring what is potent forward.<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The other day Iearned a new dance move. I had to slow way down and practice that movement very very slowly. I had to change up my focus and break down the moving parts to place them and then incorporate more and more of the movement. I know a certain focus can allow one to do this. In today’s world it takes one’s will to be able to change up perspective and change up one’s focus on things other than an automated movement generated by value judgements about the past. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">A thought can happen, a value judgement. Unless that value judgement is changed, it sits within one. IT must be resolved before one can take the next step. This is because a thought can accumulate. If one meets the same situation again, and this past comes up, and one does not immediately address it, it remains and then begins to build.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is similar to recognizing something in the environment and then suddenly seeing it everywhere. One is focused on that, at the expense of seeing others things. If we are conceptually processing things very slowly, we can get stuck in that sudden acknowledgement of something in reality. This compounds because we limit our awareness, we shut ourselves down from seeing other things as well. We are focusing on a picture instead of being present. This happens because we ignore imbalances in the reality around us because we want to “ get a long and go along” ostensibly to survive. In the long run, this backfires. There is only once choice, the choice to do no harm. The human ability to recognize patterns is natural and great. Thus, to suppress that recognition takes a lot of work. That builds and causes more disconnect from reality, our choice to ignore. The choice of ignorance remains, and then we have to hold onto the lies, our ignorance, to maintain it, because we are ashamed to have hidden our ability to recognize patterns, because that is the same ability that can recognize the choices we make that cause harm. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Of course it is good to focus on singular things for a moment, to incorporate them. Yet, in this temporal spatial reality, it is important to cross reference the greater whole. When I learned this new dance move, once I felt confident and focused in a way that I learned it pretty quickly, I took notice of other things beyond that rudimentary movement. I went to ensure that my head was not locked in one position, or that my arms did not move in one way only. I played with the movements of them, even exaggerating the movements of the other parts of my body to realize the extent of the boundaries. I purposely “ opened “ it up. I added some play to the dance move. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Conversely, when facing a lie, or suppression is a great pattern recognition ability, that time and space, like playing music, has infinite space between movements! Thus when a person takes a long time to share a story, as the emotional value is bigger than the ability to see directly, there is infinite space to play with the form. What hinders this is myself being the same, being spaced out in emotion - because this is what emotional feeling values are and do in relation to the focus of the body. The process of focusing through emotion, spaces things out. The process of practicing being more directed by emotion, leads to a compound effect of a feeling. That looks like a person is standing in what I call a state of constant shock. The management of the emotional practice compounding into the feeling that generates that loss of spatial ability or a real stagnant movement of conceptualizing, has this field of a tight resonance to it, where the focus of the body appears to be at attention, a stress ‘ ness to the field of vision, that looks like all that sense that is great at recognizing patterns is focused on managing the emotions. The way a person speaks, probably down to the slightest detail, some I do not yet know, will show exactly to what degree a person is actually doing this. If one is answering to this, one is caught in this reductionist conceptual trap and will be swayed by that emotional attention. Interesting how the word attention sounds like a tension, because that is what it is. It lacks an ease - the focus of the body is on emotional maintenance. This is the outcome as a creation, of having told lies, of having ignored the physical practical living reality that is the means of this life. It is a movement in the space, a tension in the space, one’s innocence the absence of that “ a-tension.” If we practice ignorance, we can master this. It is somewhat like the behavior of sociopaths, or it is that sociopathic behavior. The first aggression is difficult, the subsequent aggressions get easier and easier. Pretty soon, one is locked into an emotional firewall, a resonant storm that appears normal, and with which one is comfortable. The problem is that this human state of being is destroying not only the body, but the physical earth as well. Transformation is the option, because more of the same, as destruction, is remaining on the path that has lead to where we are today. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">We must begin to realize how we are using language, how we are forming ourselves as our focus, within the very sounds we are self generating from and with and as our bodies. This is why it is noted that it is important to be aware of our thought, word and deed. What we generate as each one, will determine our lives and the lives that are us in another life, as this physical creation called earth. Every movement is important. One must recognize the patterns of the language. To do this, one must have a certain degree of mastery of the language, because language in itself as a form of dance with life. How we use our words will determine the very FOCUS of ourselves. A greater language development also helps us delineate the space and time happening around us. When we know it, we can open up our presence to incorporate more things, because we are not having to think about what we are going to say. And, by extension, we can catch our thinking, those things that we allowed and never stopped to correct. If we know something we no longer have to “ think” about it as much, we can expand. Knowing the language helps is to recognize our focus, and by extension, help us to expand our presence. Would our presence open to that which existed before we built a resonant emotional/feeling body that consumes our attention and holds the cause of our separation from presence, that state of a child that learns more rapidly, that is eventually lost by the third grade because we isolate our children from reality within sending them into an isolated environment where the teachers themselves get lost in a political bubble of a school to the extent that the principle often spends a lot of their time attempting to manage jealousy between the teachers themselves? For example, if one teacher begins to show an effect in her students that surpasses the other teachers, the principle will suggest that teacher “ dumb” it down so that that principle need not have to answer to the complaints of the other teachers? Yes, this actually happens. I have personally experienced this. And yes, I was astounded - and realized that my own state of being astounded was an ignorance on my part. There are always solutions. The unacceptable is never an answer! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Children who are not doing well in school, simply lack the practice of delineating time and space, of which language is a means to be and do. Already, if a child takes a long time to explain something, as they search for the words, the moment passes and the focus is lost. The consequence is a feeling of a lost opportunity. This is really about the overall focus of the body, because we have to focus our bodies in order to speak the words. Do we give our children time and space to do this, or do we rush them along, because we adults have forgotten that we ourselves lack security in formulating words? Do we expect our children to formulate our words, which involves moving the body, in the way that we as parents do because we are in a rush? They then become us, because this is what is experienced in their immediate environment. Then we wonder why they have not moved past us into a greater development! While we learned, we lacked slowing down and assessing the moving parts into the greater whole. How can a child learn to do this if it is not shown to them and if the emotional fire-wall existence from a lack of recognition because of a self suppression of a natural ability is all that is in their environment? One must always cross reference the greater whole. Which is cool because it regulates the extent to which one has incorporated a new awareness which is more a movement of problem solving that moving into an ignorance that causes a rush of an idea of survival instead of developing real creative and constructive thinking skills. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that the moment I feel a deep tiredness is a moment when I allow myself to be overwhelmed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a moment of feeling deeply tired is a moment of believing things are too much.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand within this, that it is not so much what is said as how something is said.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the extent to which energy is motivating movement, which has a quality of limitation because of a lack of being grounded and present, here, in this reality, where one can reference the gaps of recognition of words, or DWORS, that open a more settled groundedness.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how stories are a means to an end, because within and as being separated from what is real, as this creation as this earth, involves separation held together by ideas, beliefs and opinions, composed in a pattern in itself, as stories, with a rise and a fall, a conflict within more than, and less than, good and bad, right and wrong instead of being present in creation, as the expression of life, as the physical, as humanity must respect the trees, a most perfect form that covers so many needs within and as a construction in expression that supports all life on earth, and of which is a means to further expression, thus what is here is us, and of a technology far greater than anything mankind has created, and overall why reinvent the wheel? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that despite working on facing limitation, there exists within me a fear of confrontation, and yet again and again I have faced " confrontation" and moved myself towards addressing confrontation, within and as listening to the storied information, and realizing the expression as a form, and then moving beyond being in an end game, as a belief, towards grounding the story, using story to change up the focus, to lend structure, through realizing detail while at the same time, remaining present in consideration of all things here as this life, where life itself is physical and always here, in plain sight as life would be and do as life would have no reason to hide, in some alternate separate reality, as a construct called " heaven."</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react in anger, as anger is fear, anger is a rejection of problem solving, of being present, and realizing the energetic movements as a story of separation, or of a time spread out, a measure, where the focus is absent of recognition of the practical physical forms here that is the creation of life manifest, so evident in the present media system that is a constant, as management of separation must be a constant because this is how great the presence of life is and does, the distractions must remain constant, and even within this, seeing through the cracks to the life that is here as the physical is a constant opportunity.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into shame, within and as realizing the extent to which I ignored life, and separated from being present and giving, in the recognition that I am life, and that life is always here in plain sight, as the very nature of life is for-giving.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the veil is indeed thin, and that it must be possible to realize the veil and the life that is here as creation as the physical, so great is the ability of life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that a resistance to confrontation is fear, and fear is false evidence appearing real.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to walk in breath, to slow down and to face storied emotional fire-walls, to for give the gift of life here, that which is creation and a constant here, which is physical and in plain sight - hence to embrace constant distraction from what is known and simply covered, yet can be un-covered to the extent that earth is transformed into realizing all things, taking the good, and ensuring no harm.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to moving within this, in every moment, as a pace, of and as being in awe of opening up what is natural and has always been here in plain sight.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to within this, as another point has opened up, within and as a sense of a block behind my neck, where I can sense a stiffness, and a " force" as that moving me, as though, or as - without the though! lol- ( I am having FUN within this! ) I within this anger and fear-of-confrontation point, hold onto being suspect or cautious, within and as facing confrontation, which is simply like facing a new musical piece or ideology, a construction, of which without the hesitation or expectation-of-harm, the way forward is to let go and at the same time, expect the unexpected and the ability to face this and learn, or expand in awareness, even within and as making mistakes, to generate a pace that has fun letting go and finding solutions within and as realizing separation and refocusing into what is natural and always here as life in expression that is physical and in plain sight here.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I commit myself to move at a steady pace, within and as my beingness, here, to practice, step by step, every small move, to build a model of being present and in respect of this life here, as life, as becoming the living recognition of life, which is always here, in plain sight as life would not hide as the nature of life would be visible as that is forgiving in great joy.</span></div>
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Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-12392245085701651192020-06-02T05:30:00.002-07:002020-06-02T05:30:46.185-07:00Day 841 The law of compounding effects and the elephant in the room<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">In walking the process of realizing myself as moving as energy, as a mind consciousness system, instead of being present with who and what I am as a human being, I had a period in time where the anxiety that I allowed to generate within and as me, appeared to not want to subside. I could recognize this and breathe and slow down within myself, yet that which I had created and allowed, as a belief, opinion and idea, within me, had been generated from childhood. It had automated. It was how I had defined myself and the world around me. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It had started with one small movement, just as the process of building a skill set begins with a small movement. A mixture of my own desires as I learned to direct myself in the present system on earth of ego before consideration of all things, taking the good an ensuring no harm, or the choice to act in self interest rather than the choice to remain present in this physical creation that is earth - that is me, because if I were to stop breathing, what would remain is that which is sentient within me, and the physical elements that compose my human body. This physical reality that is creation in expression. All of this which is visible and in plain sight.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">With one small movement, most probably myself within a desire for something, I became a desire that attempted to create itself, in a world where other humans were also moving as energy - instead of remaining present in consideration of all things here as the physical that is creation in expression. Then, and probably because my communication skills were not equal to my own sentience, any attempt to follow through with a desire, and communicate what I was experiencing to adults that were also caught in ego, or a loss of presence consideration of all things, I confronted this reality and an alternate reality of limited value judgements that was the cause of a loss of real presence and respect for this creation all around us that is us called earth. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The act of balancing all of this out, and the inability to move through what has been called an inner storm ( that is energy instead of sound presence - that natural ability to consider all things, to take the good and do no harm, to realize there are no problems and only solutions ) overwhelmed me. Not to mention that in order, in the order of chosen small movements, I acclimated to the systemic beliefs of my parents, to survive, to avoid conflict, to avoid saying the things that triggered a recognition of this state-of-separation within my parents.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">If one is moving as energy, as emotional and feeling bodies of value judgements as a survival suit, things can trigger the protection and defense mechanisms of that personification. This can vary be degree, in relation to where the person is at in terms of resolving that generation by value judgements. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The degree of procrastination, of resistance to and towards actually getting things done mirrors the extent to which one is moving as energy or as a greater presence into who and what we are as physical living states-of-being here on this physical world called earth that is creation manifest, something that is in plain sight and not a fantasy of some other alternate world where life will be “ better,”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Our separation is visible in how our bodies move. That over thinking of good and bad, more than and less than, right and wrong as a dialogue filled with a never truly fulfilled“ sense of promise.” This state of separation has an energetic quality as an absence of stable and sound and more silent presence. One can have imaginative scenarios of outplay happening from the over thinking visible as polarized thin-king, an inner emotional energy of and as anxiety. This is already within the law of compounding effects an indication that too much thin-king and over use of the imagination has caused a state of separation from reality, from being practical, from realizing in every breath to take that which is good and does no harm, to give as one would receive recognizing that life is physical, a physical creation in plain sight as creation - as real creation would be and do. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">In walking this process there was about a year where resolving this self created anxiety appeared to lack change. I had to take apart the movements that had generated this inner state of being, and no longer allow that to be what was the master of me. It took reconstructing myself as well, as the act of writing this all out and as well, writing out the self correction. It meant going back t</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIDKcuwvmVvFjxMREJZ5-cV54JKUKPLW5KO3DziJxjGoGTqNMUFQnMl_M_jN53jCarKE-MwkuQp08xyWM35GOvOU7CKBa1YdgZHcFQFsbMPAXBsPRHtYUqnTtWKluXnqQKh2U7Dng8MWQ/s1600/IMG-2460.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIDKcuwvmVvFjxMREJZ5-cV54JKUKPLW5KO3DziJxjGoGTqNMUFQnMl_M_jN53jCarKE-MwkuQp08xyWM35GOvOU7CKBa1YdgZHcFQFsbMPAXBsPRHtYUqnTtWKluXnqQKh2U7Dng8MWQ/s320/IMG-2460.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">o childhood and realizing where the smallest acceptances as the choices I allowed to direct me began in a moment, a process that continues today.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">That anxiety accumulated and appeared to be like an elephant in the room within and as me, as what defined me as what determined my own movements and reactions to the things around me, here, on this physical reality called earth that is life in creation, in expression here.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Because this had accelerated within me, the increased anxiety was similar to mastering a skill set. In mastering a skill set, there is also the law of compounding effects. Things will begin to accelerate, like information accelerating, in an exponential way. As I moved into a greater mastery of a skill set, things also began to move in more exponential ways. I think it is what is called moving into grace as one masters something and can process, or cross reference, the smallest of movements required of that mastery and seeing the whole at the same time. Here there is no time. It is where one is aware in one moment, as a focus, of all that is of that measure as a medium within which one is interactis. Things become lighter, easier and fluid. It is like a grace is opening up and everything is flowing. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is the same with the inverse. It is the same with my accepted and allowed over thinking of and as moving as value judgements, as right and wrong, good and bad, more than and less than, as comparing myself to the world around me, within and as myself believing I needed to appear to be something, as moving as a personified value system instead of realizing that everything that is here in this creation that is physical, is me in another life. As this, the anxiety had increased, and most probably because I had called it up to take it apart and forgive the value judgements. That over thinking, that over-use of the imagination, and the circulating energy from that emotional state of being. I knew that when I did something like bump my toe, it was not the fault of the object, but of my lack of presence. I was not present in this reality, I was off somewhere in my own energetic resonant bubble, being that which my parents had been and that I had absorbed at the expense of myself as life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">This anxiety appeared to be becoming the complete master of me. It was reaching its exponential movement into realization as expression in reality. The information of it, was moving into exponential growth, consuming the body as me. It was my accepted and allowed creation. This is cool in a way, because it is how we learn, we are given what we allow to ourselves. It is a problem when this is taken to this point and it interrupts the lives of others; the plants and the animals and other humans. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">And then, on the greater stage, something suddenly exists as the words “ plausible deniability.” Where a system like our government can decide to not tell the whole story in the choices being made with the resources of earth. A silent plausible deniability of that disclosure for a “ higher moral purpose” that is the purported responsibility of the “ state.” Harm is never a choice, as it is the choice that compounds into that which it is, more and more harm. At the end of the day, there is never the choice of harm that can be hidden behind a movement of and as hiding something behind a guise of higher moral purpose. That is a cop out and more of the same as living value judgements instead of realizing that there are no problems and only solutions, ones that move in transformative ways and means, respecting where we are at, and making the choice to choose what respects all things. This is the one principle to live by, and express. This means to give as one would receive, to take the good and do no harm in thought, word and deed. This means being that state of being present, which has a sound quality to it, one of constancy and grace. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">We all admire it when a person has mastered a skill set, where it is like watching a form move in self awareness and of “ tight junctions” in the expression of itself within a medium. It is probably the closest to balance as a creation we experience, because we know on some level that this movement into grace, that has a quality of exponential movement as one moves into being more equal and one to the small and the whole, in total focus, as a quality of peacefulness and presence that is the real “ light” that we are all attracted to. A “ light” that is of stillness and absent of “ light” as an energetic entity. It is why I believe some say the darkness is the light. That greater presence that lacks bling and a certain degree of excitement. That is of more grace and is more stable, and constant, it can meet the unexpected and transform that within more immediate movement into balance despite the new information being included into the expression. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is the difference between living strung out sound bites of information, being generated by some excitement. It is like someone speaking a sentence that paints a picture of something in such a way that the receiver realizes a greater awareness of something, as the parts and the whole moving in tandem to express in such a way that there is balance and a lack of anxiety, or energy. The movement moving more in that fluid manner, exhibiting changeability and grace. This is why humans will pay a lot to meet with someone who has mastered something. Which also removes those caught in personification of scattered and strung out thinking, where energetic emotional inner storms are generating that persons expression. The very nature of that state of being requiring those strung out sound bites to express themselves because their value system is limited, because there is an absence of real presence, indicating an ignorance of considering all things, taking the good and ensuring no harm as the movement of giving as one would receive. This is where a so-called “ sweet person” is actually not all that sweet, because they are choosing to be sweet over being in consideration of things in their reality. iI is a form of attention seeking. When I was teaching in a school, there were children that were already living this personification. It occupied them to such an extent they were not able to process the information being taught and were as such, not very good students, which in and of itself, interrupts the overall classroom experience for others- which is not really a nice thing to do. But, hey, I am a sweet person…. NOT. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">In some ways, I see that this law of compounding effects exists on the greater stage on our society today. I mean, we move from one crisis to another as the news feed. We moved recently from social disruptions in Europe, to an attempt to impeach a president, to the “ viral” outbreak, to rioting. In the course of history it is as though things are moving exponentially faster, things getting tighter in the outplay of crisis scenarios. What happens in the small, manifests in the greater whole. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">As a reaction to this compounding and intensifying movement of crisis scenarios, there is one choice, and no plausible deniability as a hidden value judgement that allows a lie under the guise of a “higher purpose” choice because that is more of the same that lead to the problem, the exponential growth of conflict. The choice is to realize more transformative movements to make the choice to live the principle that can direct every ONE, to realize a state of life, as creation, in balance, that brings all things here, where there is no “ heaven” off somewhere else , as the realization that this physical creation is life manifest. It is time to move as the principle to give as you would receive, to take the good and do no harm. It is time to forgive the present reactive movement that causes violence and harm, disrespect and judgement and live a respect that manages the resources of earth in ways that sustain and balance this creation that is life. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is time to realize that in the very way and the choices of words a person uses, reveals their inner state of being. It is time to master our words, and redefine them to be in respect of this life, this creation, this physical reality that is life in creation. In some ways, words are the means of the imagination. It is important to realize those words in such a way, that they have a living relationship to the real physical creation called earth that is us. It is time to use an immense creative ability to move into realizing transformative ways to respect this reality, causing no harm and giving as we would receive, to stand in grace, equal and one with creation here. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Ironically, if our inner intentions are clear, we can speak with fewer words, yet to live that inner intention that opens doors of understanding, we as a species must master the language. It is English that is ruling the world today, through words, more than any religion or any other language. And, other languages I am sure have words that remember subtle things about how this reality, this living physical planet that is creation manifest, is and does as itself as life. Yet, English is the religion that is manipulating this reality today. In so many ways, it is actually a small thing. When one becomes more a master of it, like a computer desk top that is well organized, there opens up the space to be more present within and as the moving parts because one is not having to think about the language and at the same time one is having an orderly means to define the moving parts of an overused imagination tied to value judgements and memory-like dramatic playouts within one’s mind as an energetic storm causing separation from being present, equal and one to this reality that is physical and is creation manifest.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is time to live the grace of life here. </span></div>
Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-90561903823816208592020-05-30T03:59:00.000-07:002020-05-30T04:12:16.534-07:00Day 840 Our #words determine our #focus.<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">One of the things I notice more this week is the words used. It is something we all know. How often to we cross reference and really check in on how we are using our words, what the words are, the tension of ease or FOCUS as form of the words we speak - each and every little part and movement. Does not a painter practice the lines and measure and color, and shape and movement of a line of paint? And, master that to the point a “ master piece “ is created? Does not a musician practice every subtle movement to the smallest degree to the extent it is in that mastery of that tiniest of movements that suddenly a whole world of possibility in creating a sound opens up? The thing about SOUND, as the words we speak, it is like a physical thing, a musical thing and a visual thing! And the forming of ourselves will be determined by the sounds we make, the silent ones inside us and the ones we allow to focus us, and the ones we speak - as a response to all of this. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">If you are having to THINK about what word to use, because you cannot yet SPELL the words, and have a security in and with the words - because you have never really practiced your words - how are you going to be able to use CARE with your words? Are your words running away with you, in some form of AUTOMATION? We tend to automate what we practice. Thus, if we practiced without real specificity and focus, we become that lack of specificity and focus. Scary but also a great means to an amazing end? Like how we work is specific because it lets us know we are amazing and can master things! Deeply KNOW that, find it, and change your practices. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">We need only look at the media to see how specific what we practice is and does. It is a system of half truths and a lot of drama. We can get so caught up on that, we cannot see the means to the end. It is like we are riding a tide and it has control when we are the essence of that tide, and as such, can determine the tide. When we realize we are the tide, we rejoice in all the other water molecules that are there with us, expressing creation as a movement of life. It would not appear so if one were caught in the tide. It would appear to be something that is impossible, because that is the nature of being caught in the tide and being in a contrast of loss as forgetting that one is the tide itself. Scattered thinking and a fractionalized focus would cause that perspective. And yet, what is enabling that experience but the physical body one is within, that body that when no longer functioning, removes the ability to be tossed about by the tide. Would being that which moves the tide, as expresses and forms real movement be something that is more eternal ? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I was chatting with someone this week and within a pause they turned and talked to another person in their space. The immediate response towards that other person was a frame of “ don’t do that.” That is an accusative statement, and an end-game statement. It simply shuts things down and leads to a moment of confusion because it is a subtle shock- in a way. It simply stops things and then one is left hanging. We supposed, or assume so much. Perhaps the person did not know what they were doing, or about to do, and someone caught it. Something like “ watch out” might be better, and less shocking, if it had to be said quickly. “ Watch out” lends itself to “ look here”, or “ watch out for that.” This lends itself to follow through, to a movement that lends a continued generation of expression. The “ don’t do this or that” is a form that suddenly stops things, without any further focus. One is left standing in “ stop.” Of course there are moments when one would use simply “ stop” and then clarify. There are moments when a strong stop is necessary. I would imagine they are not too often. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I have studied with someone who had mastered something. One of the things I learned and experienced, was when they said something of few words, and they were so clear a whole world opened up. I want to say that I as the listener had also done my own work. It is that self generation to the extent there is self momentum when meeting someone who has mastered something that one is working on mastering, that master has a really clear intent, or inner “ knowing” from experience. It is like the key of me, and the key of them, meet. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The same thing happens with emotional/feeling bodies, or value judgement self definitions that are protections from real mastery of self, or that which limits self responsibility in becoming a master with clear intent. In the reverse, we play memory match, we seek those who have the same self sabotage system of holding onto emotional experiences that have not been cleared, which we master and comes to direct us, so we seek another human who has that same signature - we are riding a wave of ideas and opinions and beliefs, we are absent from being present and being the wave itself. This can be heard in the very sounds made and the words chosen. It is like playing at half mast. The quality of the sound is diminished, it has a muffled sound to it. And it is subtle. Perhaps not too subtle. It is just that it has become so normalized that the difference is ignored. It is like we are fish acclimated to polluted water and we believe that is how it is because that is all we have ever known. Imagine that fish when it suddenly meets clear, pristine and pure water? it will wonder how it ever believed the other could ever have existed. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">It is the same within realizing that poverty and starvation should not exist. In tandem with realizing how one is as the words one speaks, as one’s VOCAbulary, should one really begin to work on every sound coming from their body - even the ones that are silent within, or cannot be heard by others as we assume - should one begin to rebuild them and really know them the difference is similar to the experience of that polluted water and that pure water. One will begin to wonder how one ever could have assumed that dirty water was normal. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Is it possible to realize that the media news flow today is very polluted? Imagine what a “ clean” media would be and do, the potential for such as that to support what is best? What if we heard the living natural world more, that which is around us? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The quality of “ hey, look at this and look at that” with a smile is very very different than a “ don’t do that!” or a “ don’t do this!” with no explanation of correction, or a correction filled with contempt and frustration and impatience. The difference would create two very different people, or adults in this reality. Most of those with success have more of the first and less of the second. This is known in the research into language development. Neurons that fire together wire together. Forming these responses and expressions with the body will determine the very slant of your eye, or the pressure in your back, or the pain in your legs. One fits into creation and the other does not. We have simply suppressed looking and mastered that ignoring of how this all works. It is, overall, a crime against life to ignore life. It is an abdication of self as life. What do we think this would do to our health? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The irony is that it is so much more fun to be able to be the creator, to be in clear waters, to lend direction because in so doing we are in discovery mode, we are in awe, we are in connection. The difference is being in a murky shadow and being in clear air. One breeds more fear and apprehension and the other breeds more clarity and presence. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I realize the moment I go into confusion, I am no longer clear. A lot of my confusion causes me to become more apprehensive and then I make things up to hide the difference. Then I tend to avoid some to seek out those with whom I do not feel the threat of looking at the confusion I have not YET resolved, and that has become a program from repeated practice. As has been said, it takes more time to correct something than to have done it correctly from the start. I had to learn this from playing the violin, because in this world, at least with something like that, it becomes obvious very quickly because the demand to self generate in the medium does not allow one to hide. If one does not play, one cannot move forward. The medium does not allow a pause in time. It simply must be done. If one does not do it, others in the medium are left standing. And, one can very easily be replaced. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The difference within using words happened this week. I talked with someone that had a nice resume. When I met with them, their English was not very good. They knew this too and did explain the difference. What I noticed, is my own entrenched “ politeness.” I was “ thinking “ this when the person explained that difference. They had studied English in a school in a foreign country and could write it, but speaking it was another thing. It is like our public schooling system; we memorize set bodies of information absent of application. When we then go out into the world we feel at a loss, we feel like we do not know something. We realize we have a very rudimentary understanding that lacks application so we do not really know how to self direct. That is a form and a function meant to dumb us down because at present we have a resource acquisition game going on - one that is a false paradigm. The physical cannot be owned, it is something that we use a principle with. That principle is a fundamental nature of life. It is to take the good and give as one would receive and do no harm. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">When we use our words in ways that are end games and of accusative intensity, we shut down real doing and discovery. When we use words such as “ hey, look at this,” or “ lets see what happens when we do this,” we maintain a flow of discovery with constructive direction. That practices real movement and self direction in relation to how this physical reality works and moves. The other leads to a state of confusion and interruption of real movement. If we are in an environment, in our developmental years, where we are only allowed to remain in a set body of “ spells” that are but shadows of things, we become that, and spend the rest of our lives attempting to remove that “ spell.” All the while, those who desire to play a false god, grab the resources of the physical - something that cannot ever be owned so this paradigm overall is a false and destructive one. Yet, what is created as a system is created by each of us, and it is recognizable in the very sounds coming from within our bodies. Thus, by default, we are the creators of the present system within and as how we focus our bodies and generate the very sounds we make as the words we speak. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">We begin to clean up that, and like that fish that knew ONLY polluted and muddy water, we, when that water is clear and pure, will wonder why we ever believed that spell around us was believed to be something real. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I would, for the life that is you, begin to forgive your accepted and allowed and self generated actions, through self forgiveness and self correction in writing. And, at the same time, practice your words, rebuild them to purify your own waters and come back down to earth. This is the means to becoming a master of self to realize and enjoy the smallest of movements because in knowing the smallest of things we are more able to respect the ordinary and live the extraordinary. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">When things are said with clarity, we tend to listen, because somewhere there is a part of us that “ knows.” We “ know” the difference between clear water and muddied water. We are attracted to clarity because it opens that self discovery which requires real seeing. We also must understand how we muddied the waters within and without, to ensure that we never ever get caught in the same problem. And like all problems, there are always solutions. </span></div>
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Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25280755655980845.post-26570352476513227232020-05-25T06:04:00.000-07:002020-05-25T06:04:36.880-07:00Day 839 More on hurt and the consequential outflow of allowing " hurt."<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">Within looking at hurt, most of what I realize is that my own “hurt” is about suppressing myself.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">The initial starting point of this, is reacting to something within my environment. Instead of processing all the factors within the environment, I instead went into frustration and anger, which is a form of confusion. It means I lost a degree of presence, and instead reacted. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">In practicing this, I build up an energetic inner movement that then lead to more of the same.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">This suppression of myself as my presence, lead to making choices that compounded this same state of separation. This accumulated into pain within my body, as the information that was me, as allowed by me, did not fit into being present, where I accepted what was here and moved with it, and did not yet have thoughts about it. There are moments in my life where I live as this, as responding without forethought, In those moments, this kind of response often triggered reactions from others, leading to that same behavior of frustration and fear. This state of being an idea is a thing, in itself, thus, I reacted to a thing that was an inner “ word” with values attached to it. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I relate this to processing information- which is what it is. It is like when a child cannot process the inner syllables of a word, or when a “ study” is used to back up a point but when one reads the “study” with constructive criticism, one notices that the study in itself is skimming certain information and therefore not a “ study” that paints a clear picture about something. I am the same when I do not take the time to connect with who and what I am here on this earth, a physical manifestation of life. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I can listen to another person speak and hear something similar in the words creating their perspective. Just this week I chatted with someone who felt very strongly about suppression of a certain race, while at the same time constantly talking about a group in which this person belonged. This person complained about one thing and then did the same thing in relation to some other group. Meanwhile, the fundamental aspects of what a human is and the most basic of needs of that form, had been skimmed over for the fault of ignoring some groups, and the aggrandizement of another group. This is simply a focus, a focus on a set body of ideals to define that person. This in itself a distraction from realizing a starting point that is equal in all human form on this earth. It is to say the degree of this passion for one group and the fault therein, had the equal and opposite effect of joining a group to define the person on the other end of the spectrum in the absence of realizing a starting point that clearly defined more the totality of what and who we are.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I can see where there is a lot of resistance within me in relation to holding an idea and sorting this out in a conversation would appear to be daunting. And yet, in remaining grounded, and not hyper inflating this contrast in this person that overall was a form of dualistic thin-king, I was more able to bring forward a response that was not emotional. This was evident in a lack of conflict. It was more a steady clarification that was more accepted. Having said this, I do notice that there is often a bounce-back effect. Removing a personification of ideas that has existed for a long time within a person, can take some time. The understanding of this, overall, causes less reaction and more of an action that is the opposite of that initial reaction, as a child, in relation to information in my environment from other adults and myself as what I was accepting within myself. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I was becoming that which I was reacting against! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">In relation to all of this, I realize that in a moment, what is around me as the environment, cannot define me, and yet can also be embraced, to realize the focus of and as being focused on a thing, in relation to being here in this space as this life as this earth. It means working with what is here and what is constant as the physical. Therefore, there is nothing to fear to lose but to be scattered into limited ideologies that are from within myself, instead of being here in every breath, considering all things and taking the good, visible as a lack of an energetic friction-like response of and as a fear of loss, leading to the frustration and stress and tension and anger within me. In another way, it reflects the over-use of the imagination. It is, and not “ like,” that we have become humans that walk with a resonant projected mask right in front of us, coming from our head areas, like a giant resonant vortex right in front of us - thus in so many ways, our physical “ masks” we wear at the moment simply reflects what we have become within ourselves! We can all see it, yet we have suppressed the seeing of this. We IGNORE this. It is a thing. It is a personification. We cover our mouths and center the focus more onto our eyes! Showing us that we see more than use our entire physical bodies to sense being present and here as who and what we are as life, which is physical. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">I have shut down my heart, to be and do this. as the life that is me, this is a huge hurt within me, because it is a denial of the life that is me. This is the matrix. It is a thing. It is visible. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #444444; color: #999999; font-size: large;">What does it take to change a habit? It takes working through how that was created, and to rebuild at the same time, to restore what is natural and what would create a world where no poverty, starvation, or hate exists. It is the only way out of the limited thinking creating separation from self as life. It is practical and pretty simple. It is the inner resonant storm that is complicated. That storm does not want to die, because it has been generated for a long time, over generations. It will defend itself as the regurgitation of itself, becoming more intense as an attempt to hold onto itself. Yet, that is the point of change. It is to make sure one really knows the difference, because that is how we learn. </span></div>
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Rebecca Dalmashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05323409186559202573noreply@blogger.com0