Learning to Stand and Direct Day 874

 There are seemingly do many things to direct, as what an internal road map of associations as relationships made between fractionalized bits of information - most probably from so much compartmentalization.  After all, what is placing a child in a box to memorize a text book do to the focus of said child? 

I am overwhelmed and as such go into fear which is uncertainty and doubt. It appears too much, and yet often with hindsight I suddenly realize that directive stories and questionings have similarities and a simplicity to them. it is like learning to drive, at first it is slow and appears too much, but slowly and steadily one is able to cross reference the physical check points or "things to be aware of" and a fluidity happens and one is able to cross reference the space and process all the moving parts. 

It is like organizing and cleaning up a house, getting everything in order, and finding the most harmonious structures that allow movement and accomplishment.  Why hold a belief that one system is more or less than another? And why have an internal running idea that one is supposed to be perfect? These things are distraction. 

When I stall and hesitate I am denying what is natural, an ability to recognize patterns and see form and function, be it an internal shadowy road map of spiraling symbols where the focus of the being is on having everyone validate their internal road map, or if it is learning to cross reference the physical road and all the movement on said road.  Both are one being focused on something. One is at the expense of being present in the living space of this reality, of the flesh ( the thing we appear to be most directed from!) . 

It is about catching back up to the grace of an absolute purpose where one remembers the interconnectedness of all things, and that which distracts one from that natural state, as that is the nature of creation and the nature of life. It has to be otherwise life ceases to exist. 

I continue to find myself in doom and gloom imaginings, while at the same time catching myself with greater immediacy. I stop, I breath, and I slow myself down. It is like standing in a spiral, of good and evil, of emotional lags, and coming back down to all things, or the togetherness of all things as that which is of greater stability, or constancy, or directiveness. It is always here. 

The internal distractions are of energy, and act in wavelike forms, pulsing. This is no real match for one slowing down to step out of the shadow storm of less manifested movements.  Why is the term existent as the " waves of time" ? At least in this moment, I cant think of another term for time. In our words we expose what is happening. Time exists as waves, creation exists as a constancy of purpose. One is grace and the other is friction. Noticing patterns of energy is like noticing waves of friction, and they appear slippery, changeable, but is not the root cause the same? And it is a fear. And fear is what I would call infantile. 

infantile = antilife

This is a part of the distraction, to have a word come up that has the answer built into it. Fear is infantile, and yes, fear is antilife. 

Just like listening to music, like listening to a math, what is antilife is fear, and it has a wave-like quality to it, which is something different than directiveness and the togetherness of all things.