I have a morality point where I get pissed off when others are commiserating, especially amongst women. I see such as a social expectation where woman gather around and support emotional states, building ties as each carry the needs of the others, or that the connection is something special. I, at the same time, believe that I am not allowed to do this, AND realize to some extent that I do not want to be this, to do this, because it then means that I owe something to someone, or that I am bound emotionally. I allow the perceived bonding as having more value than, say, the issue at hand. I fear that to not continue such “ bondings” will cause an abrupt change in support or connection and will cause anger coming at me. So, I avoid getting involved in such things. And then, I fear not having the social connections. Naturally, this causes within me, friction and chaos. the “ if I don’t do this I will lose out with this, and if I do this, I will lose out on that” A real “ damned if you do and damned if you don’t’ polarity, or some might say “ catch twenty two” a self interest spinning around in my mind. Allowing such is a separation from practical reality.
I am the same that I complain of, the same that aggravates me. I am thinking only of my own self worth and value based of social structural values being the means of survival before physical reality. This is causing the instability, because it is really only ideas in my mind as self value as idea only. I am not considering the fact that I am a physical beingness on a physical world, a world in creation, a living world. So, the only choice that I have is to do what is best for all. To actually live here. When I am with a group of woman, and there is some problematic emotional issue being supported, it is to realize that 1. the issue can be resolved. and 2. that it is the solution that is the value, one of which nothing is owed to anyone because the action taken considers the value being life as the physical, as the value is finding a solution that self empowers a person to live in ways that are giving, and as such, have no burdens of some kind of payment, be it emotional and/or inferenced social obligation as a point on a grid of hierarchy that overall is in separation from practical physical reality. After all, the physical being of myself was here taking in the physical world, before any idea of myself culturally, in any religious terms, or use of language or tradition was impulsed as a program. Before any of these programs, I was a physical living being. This was my starting point, and this is the value.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself as a limited value, without referencing the actualized manifestation of creation, as the physical, with every breath.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being against a group of commiserating woman.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is some conspiracy going on when I see a group of woman talking, heads leaning in towards one another, which I perceive to be a secret society - so to speak.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that yes, perhaps some issue is being resolved and the person being emotional is not prepared to be open, as the idea of a loss, seems huge, when moving into solution often, is a movement where the problem is not nearly as large as one can be lead to believe, thus resolving issues can be a process where the initial action is discussed quietly until it is opened up and resolved.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to women talking quietly in a small group, based on a past of belief as having judged experiences into one size fits all, that I have accepted and allowed, of projections that there is a conspiracy against me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the walls of the castle, of emotion are impenetrable, which is believing in conspiracy, as it is a physical and thus practical world.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this, I fear losing some self defining value, which I see within a belief that I am being left out, is myself fearing a loss of standing, to survive, which is a separation from practical reality, thus I am the same as that which I project onto others, and for this I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is gain in myself existing as an idea about who and what I am, when I am here, in a physical world, where what supports the physical is known, as proper food, education, shelter and clean water, all of which takes money, as the present system, where it is not money that is “ bad” it is the acceptance and allowance that some deserve more than others, when we are all the same, and development is known, thus as physical existence as life in creation, is the real value and is lived here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that emotions and feelings define who and what I am here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have a responsibility to become sympathetic to the emotions and feelings of another only, and that my life will be threatened if I do not.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that there is sympathy and then there is empathy, where the emotions of another can be understood and then moved into solution, as this is empathy, and as such, just as I have remained in emotions to define me and fought letting them go, I see , realize and understand that sometimes emotional value states are believed to be so real that the process of realizing and sizing emotional states up and aligning them to practical reality, can at times appear to be an emotional storm, as something that rises and falls, and as such, it is to not react to this process of assessment into solution, as this is the way into grounding oneself back into practical reality here, which is an act of self empowerment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how much I have existed in protection and self defense based on limited values that I have allowed to define me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I allow a belief that there is conspiracy against me, that I shut myself down, hide within myself , fearing the worst case scenario, as in being eliminated socially, a huge gloom and doom emotional storm, none of which is myself moving into solutions as I exist as a physical beingness , which is the starting point of myself here, and as such, the answers are always right here in front of me, as the value is life, here.
When and as I find myself reacting as in allowing projections of belief, idea and opinion to move within me, as reactions based on a past judgement, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I at the very least, suspend belief until I investigate and understand the scenario, which means asking questions to build a background, which is the way and the means to create solutions that are best for all, as in empowering within common sense of practical physical reality, here.
When and as I find myself reacting, in a belief that I am inferior to what I have allowed to seem superior, as in having some power that I cannot reach, because my starting point in reaction is already of a belief that I am being eliminated because I was not party to the conversation or activity, I stop and I breath, and I realize that I can have no judgement of what is going on because I have no knowledge of the details of the situation, thus, it is for me to slow down, and investigate to build understanding as this is moving into solutions, and taking the time to assess and apply a practical self empowering application if need be, which I cannot know unless I ask.
When and as I find myself imagining worst case scenarios, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I become practical here, within and as realizing that I am a physical manifestation of life, and as such a creator, here, thus, I can self empower through considering all life, and respect the physical.
When and as I find myself fearing the bully of emotion, I stop and I breath, and I see, realize and understand that in my judgement without investigation, based on a past of fearing to lose as ideas of what I am, to fit into a survival system that is in separation from creation, I slow myself down, and I walk in thought, word and deed that which builds understanding of practical reality, as this is what brings myself back down to earth, and grounds myself here, into the simplicity of the principle of what is best for all, of which the physical in sound formation is, to actualize what does no harm and as such is that which is stable and fears not change, which is practically to enjoy that value being life, here.
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