Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Looking at the word 'meaning' Day 789

Meaning and Compassion

What is meaning? Or is meaning already here, as the physical in expression?  Something that cannot really be described because if one is focused on that, the act of describing is inherent in the doing, and therefor cannot really be described, because the focus is in the ‘ magic’ of doing. With such focus, that slowing down to describe separates one form that state where things are done, as nothing was ever done within thinking about it. 

Thus, to define ‘ meaning ‘ is the disconnect, in a way, it can only be shown. 

I remember after getting lost in automated playing, at the end of my teens, and moving into realizing what I had done, as what I had accepted , as what I had allowed myself to get lost in. Since, no one else is responsible for me but myself, and real happiness is being focused, When I lose control of my own directing framework, I have to ask myself, where I had gone. As I said, I remember in my late teens, realizing that something was out of synch, as I had allowed an automated playing to supersede my own self direction with presence. 

In my twenties, early twenties, I was trying to catch myself up. It took time. At one point, I realized that though teachers were useful cross references, ultimately, I was my own director.  Instead of only following the instructions of a teacher, I started to go to recitals, and watch, listen and absorb the focus of other players.   In a way, I would call it watching focus, meaning, watching the total focus of a performer.  This began to accelerate my own playing, back into moving out of playing in automated ways, that ended up ‘ catching me up’ within myself.  It is much like our cultural values, built from environments of the past. The rituals and practices of the past, made larger than life, than that life, that environment from which such actions were built,  superseding the real presence that built the physical practices.  One separates from being that which created the cultural behaviors, where the cultural behaviors have value, yet when automated, create a separation from real creation, as this measure of values, causes a disconnect from real living practice. Some say, that our schools, created to serve an industrial model, this in itself a form of monopoly as ideas about freely given resource use by the hands of men, are a form that is in automation, not moving in accord with what is necessary for human development in the present paradigm. ( I also have to ask myself if this is limited in scope as well, because perhaps the overall model was a consequence of a loss of real self direction - the kind that used a natural absorbent/learning capacity within a principle that inherently considered all things, as the golden rule; to take that which is good and does no harm.)  To sort out what was happening to me took time. As how we work, is not taught, if anything, our present system is the opposite of what teaches us about who and what and how we are and work.  And, yet, the means is the same. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Spare real measure and the capacity absorbs a mis-measure, causing friction and conflict with real focus, which is another way of becoming out os synch with creation. It is all practical, and really very simple. We are all spoiled by a ‘ rod’ that is not the real thing, as the actual physical reality. if we look, we realize that this is in fact the case.  Try and speak this, and you will find that you can only speak what has been practiced. This, is amazing in a way, because it is the ‘ showing of what one is to one’s self.  

One begins to move in a slower motion, so-to-speak, in that ritual built from the practical environment,  that becomes an automation that ends up separating one from reality. Then, naturally conflict and friction begins. As with myself, suddenly, I met ‘ equations, as musical forms, and my own presence in what I was doing, had a hard time synchronizing with the new. Then, my own dismay, caused further disconnections! Then, I could not explain what was happening, and wanted to hide, in fear of my overall mis-take in focus being revealed.   This is why, the small must be mastered, because in moving with the smallest of things, one has greater changeability when meeting with the more complex! Or, in meeting the new, the unexpected, the movement into creation, as refining what is consistent, and reforming, into new forms.  This way that we work, can be abused,  even when we are all the same, we are all of the same building blocks.  We are individual and yet one,  we are the means of the small, that can be individual and yet come together to create. 

I was looking at the word meaning yesterday, and found it a difficult word to define. Most probably because it is a living thing, instead of something that can be placed into a written definition, as the definition can only be what it is not. It is like the word is me and .... It is the definition of me, and all that is me, being focused here.  If I look at the statement ‘ the means to the end ‘  I see this to mean, my starting point is my ending point.  If I move into a real mastery of something, I fine tune that expression, as the real head of the top of a pyramid of what I build into such a fine tuned point , that my actions fit through the proverbial eye-of-the-needle into life.  It is to say, that I master the small through becoming equal to the parts, the units of building, which brings the small forward, and then I slowly master that, my neurons pairing back, into clean structures that I would call ‘ zip files’ that then becomes a clear movement, that is focused and clearly directed, and that allows a real presence within all things - in terms of my focus- that it a means towards real understanding, as equality with all things, that is that point that fits through the needle, into life. That is real building and that is what the representative triangle, means, as a real living process that is a math that is right here in plain sight.  This is my perspective at the moment.

That is my, if not somewhat clumsy definition of what real meaning is and does, at this point in my process. What  I do remember, within learning music, is that as I focused, even within political storms moving around me, is that this focus, where I moved into realizing I directed what I did, and moved into absorbing as watching and taking in with a more total real focus in real time, from those who had mastered more of what I was attempting, and  as moving beyond only looking at building from being caught in mapping out every inch of me was when things began to move more, and this is where, I began to not only be aware of myself, and the others players, but also, the movement of the people in the audience. It was a process of becoming aware of the space around me, as when the structure of a more stable and sound understanding, with self directive principle, as being and living greater self responsibility, that expansion happened. 

Also, it is here, that one finds greater calm, as we are happy when we are focused, and unhappy when we are not. As that projection of chasing qualities in others, is really the self seeking what the self has abdicated which is a natural ability to process the information that is the self, and this reality, in plain sight.  Thus, in a way, competition is an illusion, and we need one another, to open ourselves up to ourselves, to move as a flock of birds, joining together to perform a synchronized dance of life, here.  A pyramid schematic, is really a tool in a way, it is not something to monopolize earth resources into a limited schematic, to force into a one-size system. In this, there is no good or bad, as there is only creation, that is physical here.  One must find, one’s zone of proximal development, because that is the point where one can move further and it is always right here.  It is using one’s absorbent ability and realizing the structures of this reality. It is processing what is here, realizing that, just as we learn to crawl, we sometimes fall down, as in a process of ‘ side effects’ we learn real balance, which is awesome!  


This is also why a financial system can both control being out of control as having forgotten this, and a means of great manipulation for those wanting to play god, in a system where god is the means to the end as the creation in expression as the physical.  Becoming value judgements, creates and allows hyperbole and ad hominems, that are a movement into dimensions of separation from what is a real presence in this reality.  These are not to fear, as they are gifts to reveal imbalances.  This is where one can revitalize a natural ability to absorb what is practical, as slowing down to re-synch with reality. To reform the small, as slowing down to speed up.  The heart cannot be flooded with sadness. as that is a misplaced compassion. This mis-use of compassion, is heavy, and a belief that one cannot ‘ do the math’ of discovering solutions that are always here.  This takes patience and persistence in this present reality. The joy being to realize and walk the steps, the outcome being an effective practice. 

Inherent in the word ' meaning' is  'me and',' which I see as me and here, or me and the physical, me and you. This being living oneness and equality.  This being, employing the golden rule.  If I ' come-pass (that) on ' in every step, with every breath, focused here, realizing that I can recognize automation within myself, I am, the most perfect of forms, to become the expression of the meaning of life here. 


Saturday, August 12, 2017

Looking at the word " sharing ' Day 788

Sharing,
 redefining the word sharing.

Show air, open up the form, bring it forward to rebalance within principle of and as what is best for all.  The principle of oneness and equality, into what respects all things, taking that which is good and does no harm. This being a state of ease, of reciprocity, doing the math, moving in accord of an expression of creation.  This being, from my perspective, a presence in synch with a knowing that is  a state of certainty. It is a form of not telling a lie. It is a form of what is more eternal,  it is a state that no one can take away.  It is living potential with a steady absolute purpose- the only place where the absolute stands,  as in that word - absolute- one is living the realization of  ab/a-way solve, or a-way son/sun,  a way of creation/expansion.  The prefix ‘ ab’ means away, so as a movement, absolutely - ute, can be to always give/send away the solution, as realizing there are no problems and only solutions. Some take patience to resolve, yet, just as in sailing a large boat, one holds, the balance.  I notice that when I have not found that steady solution,  I become loopy, like children that cannot hold a word, as there are too many emotional triggers erupting from experiences from a past of wanting to survive in an environment.  When I cannot remain in what is actually more natural, I become loopy, I am within a state of not being able to structure a correction that I can apply with greater ease. Interesting how words can narrow a focus, and lend structure, to then bring forward clarifying forms that allow one to ground one’s self  into the small movements that are the means to the end as practical actions.  The ideas, beliefs and opinions, no longer predominant on the horizon,  distracting one from applicative actions in real time.  Paranormal activity, is but the use of limited information that then uses ad hominem and hyperbole to fill the spatial lack, which in itself creates that same distractive business. It is what I recently read, as that movement of using only 10 percent of one’s presence into a limited construct of information- lol, it is like living in a hot air balloon .  It is not the ‘ air ‘ as the space of what is here all around us, as the physical.  

Thus, the word ‘ sharing ‘ is the ring, as the reverberation, of airing, as focusing here, as airing what is here in the context of respecting all things, as no longer projecting a limited construct from within,  and opening one’s self up to realize the ring, as in ringing, as in the sound, of life, always present and always right here in plain sight. As I live in the moment, here, where the practical is lived because this is where one directs, as nothing was ever done within thinking about it.  

Thus, the word sharing, is to embrace my own accepted and allowed limitation, the consequential inflated and protective value judgements, and the practical, as the action of respecting what is here in this moment, to balance the focus of myself, within what brings ease, as a state of knowing, that then expresses what practical small and simple movement, is the means towards what  ‘ rings ‘ true, as what opens a greater ability to remain present in this reality, this physical and practical living reality that is always around me, composed by and of, the potential to realize  what is best for all. 
When I am in fear, which is being inferior to life, which is self interest, as separation from the realization that I am equal in substance to all things, as all things are eye in another life. I move into comparison, imagining worst case scenarios,  fearing an imaginative loss, forgetting to respect all things, allowing a limited ideological resonant belief to define who and what I am, via a mis-use of the imagination, and comparison, always a form of projection with values judgements,  that i attach to objects from the world around me.  In this I am not living solutions, with a sense of giving, as the realization in fact that what is here is me in another life. 

Thus, sharing, is listening to what is here, in the moment, placing it in the context of all things here, as respecting and realizing who and what I am as a physical form, on a physical infinite planet, and doing a math, as assessing this reality, to realize solutions, as opening up the space, to make the only choice, which is the choice that is best for me, is to consider all things, taking that which is good as what does no harm. This opens focus onto the form and function of here, through the realization of a limited focus on a self interested system of values that is a mind consciousness  system, back into what is more natural and can process living reality,  as the self as life that is always here, and need only be embraced. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to others.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within and as living principle, I realize greater respect of all things, and within that I see further.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into comparison, in a bubble, within limited constructs of information, colored with value judgements, at myself in fear of loss, which is an idea, and not myself being present, as I am allowing distractions of and as value judgements, and not focused here, in respect of all things here, as who and what i am in totality, that is what allows me to exist in expression as life, here, as life is physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I have a pain, in my physical body, it is a constriction, a suppression, a lack of real processing,  of and as focusing here, airing out, as opening up,  beliefs, opinions and ideas, polarized and colored with value judgements, as what i accept as a list---ening of myself as order, as form, as energy, and not myself paling myself here in this living reality, to respect all things, and reciprocate reality, the living reality, as this physical existence, where if I look around, all things are a composition of and as what is here, and all things are the consequence of the hands of many, as the haptic actions, where we are happy when we are focused and unhappy when we are not.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I become anxious, I am not processing reality, as respecting all things, taking that which is good and does no harm, I am not being present, presenting what is here, grounding in what I am as a physical manifestation, realizing where i am projecting value judgements, which is myself allowing inferiority, as I am in fear and as a distraction, not in a consideration of all things, opening up to life, to what is real, airing out the space of my own dis-empowerment, as self interest, to see , realize and understand all of me, to embrace all things, and make the choice that is the only choice, as to respect all that is me, that is all around me here. 

I forgive myself for projecting a lack, onto objects around me, imagining worse case scenarios, as threats, that are a metaphysical self interested math/action/projection composed of energy, which s a red flag for my own acceptance of fear, a busyness, that is limiting, and not being a directive principle of and as showing a sharing as airing out limited beliefs, to open up and enable myself to embrace all of me, as the life that tis me, that is all around me, as having enough information, to self realize self as life here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that unbalanced limited dimensions of an accepted focus, composed of making polarized value judgements that have a quality of and as my actions as projecting onto objects that which I have rejected of and as my self as life, as my capacity to problem solve, to realize limitations, and to embrace myself as life, holding what is a directive principle in and as forgiving myself as life, as that realization that there are no problems and only solutions, here, as it is here, that the practical application is the means to the end. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare, to move into a comparison, that is a resonant emotional projected body, of and as a fear, where within the  storied enflamed value judgements, are the expression of fear, as a fear of loss, and not myself embracing life, as me, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the shadow world, composed of storied memories of and as ideas, of loss, ideas of failure, as the only thing upon which I focus, to realize this, forgive, and to redirect, within a directive principle, to realize applications that take that which is good and respects all things, which is to hold what can withstand the test of time, as to move as a process of elimination, as to realize side effects, where  the airing of reality does not move forward, as the unfolding of and as real presence, that is a process of dis-covering self as life that has always been right here, to realize in thought word and deed that which is best for all and as such,  aires out and grounds real presence and respect of life, here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to mis-use compassion, in self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have back chat, that when and as i share, and revelations are realized, even in lending practical and simple actions, that self empower , there is back chat that i am not enough, from my past, where I focus on lack, instead of directive actions in moments, realizing self discovery,   enjoying this,  no longer fearing to move into the unknown as the known, is always here, as everything is known. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the simple, as it is within the simple that the ordinary is lived that moves into greater awareness, as even within playing the violin, the simple was cross referenced, as allowing the simple to automate, was allowing a state of forgetfulness, as realizing the smallest of actions, were the means to the end, and that the small could be so well mastered that one could cross reference this in a split second, as that very state of understanding as awareness can be a construct of mis-information that becomes hyperbolized as protected because it is of self interest and thus inequality to this living physical reality, that ends up, as a construct of separation, running away with the self into separation and a loss of self mastery, thus the simple must be mastered, with clarity, and always cross referenced, which is supportive and feels good, as the simple is the means to the end, here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush to believe there is a place to rush to, when life is here, and to realize within this that a sense of rushing manifests as slower processing,  as it is self emotionally charged and not grounded here, where one lives the practical and the simple, in the moment,  to be in respect of all things, as the practical that builds the life that is me here as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as i move into a sense of inferiority, there must be the opposite of a desire for superiority, which is myself moving into comparison, into competition, and not myself being present in common sense, as practical application within the principle of equality and oneness, which is being a living respect of all things, as all things are the same as me, as life in expression in another life here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry, as nothing, even if I am ‘ right’ was ever resolved with anger, as anger is a state of blame, which is a  state of fear, which is a state of fearing to take self responsibility, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want short cuts, to have an idea the something should be easy, which is following an idea, instead of walking the practical applications with in a directive principle of and as realizing that the value is life, here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that things are impossible, when creation is here, as me, all around me, here, living practical applications that in essence are a directive principle of and as taking that which is good and does no harm here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to protect myself,  within an idea, that there are threats around me,  which is to, again, project an idea of loss, as though something can be lost, which then creates as the opposite an idea of gain, when in practical reality there is nothing to lose, and nothing to gain, as I am life here, a life that is physical and practical, as common sense is and does, which is living in thought word and deed, as allowing life here, airing life here, as bringing life forward, as simply allowing life, as a focus on as respect of, the physical reality, in plain sight here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting this physical manifestation of and as energy that is like a dagger, or an arrow, of energy, from a vertebrae in my upper back, that is like this grasping form, like it has claws that appear to be unreleasable, that is my past, where I am also feeling like a child, caught in a coffin, or a web, where I cannot process the information, and have already lost myself in a construct that I can no longer see the boundaries of and as, and within this storm, I am clawing and scratching, looking for a way out, not being able to process the movements, wanting to attack, and not wanting to attack as though on some level, I understand this is not solution and yet, this is the information that is me that I have to work with, that I have accepted ,  where I am in a fury of not wanting to accept the unacceptable and yet, cannot see the resolutions around me as I am lost in a storm of value judgements, this manifesting as this point in my upper back, just above the heart, as though this is a new point opening up, where the pain is most intense, a cycle, or sequence I have lived within this process of birthing life here,  to realize this is like a projecting weapon, as a reaction, of and as anger, as fear, where there are objects of and as to place this fear, which is that past, of an as a construct of and as a belief that there tis no way out, and yet, a part of me, will never give up, as though I existed within limitation, moving as that lack, was unacceptable, and in ways, it is moving in complete frustration,  which is fear, and reaction, where the way out, was greater understanding, as having enough information, as dis-covering a natural ability to understand the practical, here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand a movement into victimhood, as self pity, that is like a mask around my eyes, pulling down presence, as looking directly here, into believing a math of and as self pity, that is that vein of a belief, in the impossible, that then manifests as such as the words “ i tried’ or ‘ I did my best’ or,  a sense that this storm is ‘ too muchness’ when all of this is an illusion and myself caught in a belief system that is a distraction form what is natural, as being present equal and one to all life that is here all around me as the physical reality, here, where all things are myself in another life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe this sense of what could be called righteousness, as a sense of this is so real, so true, so needing of revenge, when I have walked this path and realize that this is not being solution, and to realize that because of accepted and allowed beliefs, this state of separation, that has a quality of protection and defense, as blame and spite, is habituated, and as a set body of resonant  limited information, that need not define who and what I am here, as I can breath, slow down, and ground myself here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand tat this inherent conflict is also a form of self hate,  as myself hating myself to not seeing realizing and understanding the accepted web of limitation, chosen in a desire to survive, this in itself a mis-take on reality, which means the only choice os to forgive this consequential anger/anchor into a limited belief system, of polarized value judgements of and as the end game of good and evil, that is a separation from commons sense as respect of all things as the physical reality that is creation manifest, as the substance of and as taking that which is good and does no harm, to move with and as the natural law, of respect for all things, realizing a balance that lends expansion here. 

Coupled with this word “ sharing’ is the word ‘ meaning.’  Thus, I will continue with the word ‘ meaning ‘ Thank you for reading here. 

When and as I find myself moving into protection and defense, I stop and i breath, and I assess my own reactions , I slow down and realize the means of this separation , as thoughts , words and imaginations, of and as what composes separation, as ideas, beliefs and opinions, of and as blame and spite, resistance and rejection, thus, I forgive, I stop, I use words I have defined, such as calm, as presence, as steadiness, and I move , as transform my self definition, and realize, that just as in slang a large boat, or in skiing down a hill, or in taking a life saving skills swimming test, or in performing, like a horse running across a field with purpose, directed, able to hold a steady rhythm, remain balanced, and moving in respect of all things, with ease, there is a great power within this, and this fine line is always here, and that i have experienced this, in performing, being equal to the sounds around me, balancing out, pulling on strings, remaining steady, within a form, where that focus, the presence, in respect of all things around me, within that framework, that state of steadiness can be actualized, with ease, with joy, with flow of movement, as that horse can be and do, which i have experienced in riding horses, cantering them on a beach, swimming with them in ponds, walk with them with and as state of ease, thus, is there power within that, just as I realize the sword of wanting revenge, as a storied resonant seed of mis-information, of and as energy, this need not define who and what I am, as I can breath, slow down, and uncover, being myself as life, as that power to hold not accepting the unacceptable and transform that into remaining steady here, in balance, considering all things, to become the living word, of and as being as dis-covering the life that is me here. 

In some respects, I can see where it is a fine line between becoming de-manned within righteousness, and or, slowing down and realizing a respect for creation, here. 


The solution is sharing, as showing the airing out of limitations, as accepted and allowed beliefs, opinions and ideas, to open this up, call things out by name, to disempower accepted and allowed limitations, and to ground one's self, here, to be able to run with the wind, as the life that is physical, and that nature of creation here.