Day 633 The point of pride, riding a desire to participate.

The point of pride, riding a desire to participate.

In writing some SF today, I noticed a point of pride. I have noticed this point of pride as an impetus to do something, but have not realized the distraction of even a small measure of this as how I direct myself in living here. 

Yet, there is was, some pride riding another desire to participate in living, like a statement within me as ‘ I can move, as participate within this’ or that activity. The thought of ‘ I can’ coupled with the the excitement of participating and feeling proud to do so. Such a subtle thing, but a distraction none the less, and not a self honest directive in assessing what is before me, and moving as what is best for all. That subtle desire motivating me, instead of common sense in the moment.

A desire to participate in life is a good, yet it is a natural thing, because of what I am as a physical state of being. As an idea, in and as my mind, I race forward as this, instead of just being here. And also, I can see, in what has been allowed as a collective social construct, our system is like a revolving door construct of survival, so venturing forth means taking a risk, and this means that that game of this is the only thing seen, making it more complex and scary than need be. If I remained grounded, here, would it appear as something that is a risk or something that is more a smoke and mirrors show, that can only direct me if I accept and allow it, as this earth and how this earth functions is all around me, the harm being done obvious, when one steps out of self interest, and respects all things, taking that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to direct myself in and as  a gain, in and as a belief as a thought that “ I can participate.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to participate, meaning being a desire, instead of a directive principle in and as an impetus of doing what is best for all as a starting point, which is myself moving in common sense instead of as idea, belief and opinion.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought “ I can participate”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an excitement in and as an energy of “ I can participate.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see the negative polarity within and as this as a judgement that I cannot somehow participate

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting  myself to become a belief in and as a thought, as an idea, based on a morality of good and bad, danger and safety, that I cannot or that I can participate.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to in tandem with this, become a energy of pride, in and as self aggrandizing myself as a belief, which is a judgement, within and as a belief of good, in and as a motivation as idea, that ‘ I can participate.’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I am acting in self interest as a starting point

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is nothing wrong with participating in what is here, in and as simply being here, as the joy of being a physical state of being as life in expression as life information here.

When and as I find myself becoming excited, in and as wanting to participate, and as such being motivated as an energy of rushing, or jumping in, or watching for in entrance to participate, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down and I check myself within and as me, to become brutally honest with myself, to cross reference what I have allowed within, and what is around me without, to see, realize and understand that which would consider all things, taking that which is good and that which grounds me here, and I realize a movement that is one of ease, as in not based on idea, as an addition of rushing in, an action colored with pride, hidden in excitement, and I, after assessing myself as the world around me, then realize myself as life, as that which moves with ease, monitoring my breath, to ensure that I move as the directive principle of oneness and equality, as that which is good and does no harm, to stand equal and one with and as life here.

When and as I find myself missing my breath, especially when I am around a crowd or group, and sometimes even when I am alone, I stop, I slow down, I breath, until I am grounded, and I assess myself within and the world of life in expression as the physical information around me, and I ensure I am calm, at ease, my breath moving with ease, and I direct myself in brutal self honesty in and as joy, in and as an ease of respecting the physical as life, as myself, where nothing can be lost and all can be gained as this is a movement of myself, directing myself equal and one with and as what I am which is life.