So this looping, this constant dialogue in my head is myself not being here, myself not being in that state of innocence, that affords/brings/rises-up a smile of joy, of innocence, of lack of blame- and instead is more of a sharing, a being, a presence that forgives all trespasses. Funny how the real words are here in existence to guide and direct us, if we would only look and slow down and listen. This state that is more natural than the projections of personifications. Projections that are because of a fear of being what is essentially more real, as that state of innocence. As those who fear being that, state of innocence fear acknowledging and admitting to a STATE OF SEPARATION.
Our political, POLES I CALL/ I LABEL/I ACCEPT are the literal STATES bullying even within their words, assuming dominance. I did not pay my excise tax bill, and received a second notice that contained the words in capital letters DEMAND. I thought, why send a second notice that was so aggressive ? The word on the notice being in capital letters as a “DEMAND”!!!!!! WE DAMANDDD that YOU PAY! I mean really. Is that any way to treat a living person, especially in this economic climate? These are PEOPLE sending out these notes. This is not done by some invisible hand or “ iron fist.” This is done, the words chosen, by a system that exists by a collective of PEOPLE. Like a bunch of peas, pulling something, warping reality, FORGETTING the self as physical life and FOR GETTING an ideological personification of a more-than and a less-than as the voices in the head that is the indicator that one is mis-using the mind, and even STUCK in ONLY being the mind as a set body of information mis-used as over-used creating a state of separation from self as life, as the living body that is what enables one to exist. That which is PULLED as POLARIZED as value judgements lacking any real consideration from what it means to be a physical state of being, composed of the same building blocks as a plant.
I mean, just as a plant requires basic fundamental elements to exist as its expression, so does and is the human. If that structural living thing is lacking in the basic fundamental elements that composes its ability to express and BE, it goes into stress and does not function in its real capacity. We understand this with plants, and so it is with the “ walking plants” called humans - and the many animals and insects.
I will return to talking about innocence. In contrast, I have a twin sister. I have a person in my life that I was with from the get go. Yes, we have screamed and yelled at one another. BUT, there is this quality, this sense that none of this matters. It is as though, we remember on some deep level how we built ourselves because we were there as we built who and what we have become. It has a feel that we are in a STATE of suspension. It is as though we know on some level that we are playing a game. No matter what we are more readily able to let the past go, as though we remember that we have entered a “ twilight zone” of stepping outside of something. Almost like, somewhere at some time, we made a pact that we would remember. There is this quality of realizing the storms are meaningless.
Also, there are people in my life that no matter what, no matter what clouds may appear, what remains is a sense of joyful play. Meaning, the person opens a sense of wanting to smile. When we see one another, we want to smile. I remember meeting this one person years ago, and that same thing happened, even though I did not know much about them. It is like when we sometimes meet someone for a moment, and that same sense of knowing one another happens. It has a quality of calm, or joy and a sense that it does not matter if one never sees them again. What remains is a sense of something eternal and that in itself is the gift. The same quality happens when one discovers something, to the extent one need not force that quality to appear in a moment again, it remains, it is constant, it cannot be lost. This state of innocence has an endurance that remains there, always no matter the storm. When we do something that we, with hindsight, realize was not the best choice, that more eternal quality is there. The answer when coming out of a storm and sensing this quality, is shame. We are ashamed of our own actions.
Ever want to blame something, and at the same time, there is an awareness that one is doing just that? That quality of wanting to blame and knowing full well one cannot blame anything because self FORGOT that sense of joy, that sense of what is eternal, that sense of discovery, that sense of being able to hold something that needs no recognition from anyone because one KNOWS. If we are caught up in an over-use of the imagination, which is being MIND ONLY, we cause/create/practice/build a STATE of separation. If many do this, it becomes a living system. This living system is full of DEMANDS because it is a system of anger. Anger is the self having LOST that sense of joy, of discovery, of remembering that eternal quality that no one can take away because that is the self in expression as self as life that is of that quality of innocence which is a quality of NO BLAME, NO DEMAND, NO FEAR.
I have had to involve myself with two “ committees” in the system. What I realize, is that it takes time for me to SEE THE TIMING. Meaning to see what is essentially like trying to hold a slippery fish in your hand. The system itself is a pretty cool structural system that does allow one to make choices that consider many things, to make the choice of no harm. YET, within that, it is the people who are the slippery fish. They are basically all over the place, and have a hard time realizing the structures. It appears that the structures are complicated, when in reality they are not as complicated as we might think, as we might believe. I can see where one can, as a mind state of separation, become so frustrated. One must take the time to realize the slippery state of this, and at the same time realize/understand inherent structures that can be used to implement what is best. That slippery state can understand the structures, so it is like one must be patient and bring forward the real structural means to the extent those within this can hold it themselves. It is like standing as structure. I laugh, because is this not what the advertising systems are doing, in repeating STATEments again and again and again? That in itself as standing as a structure. In this, one is dealing with many people. Yet, that slipperyness is not constant. It can have no constancy because it is a state of separation, lacking grace, lacking stability, lacking innocence. That slippery quality is of ONLY being in a limited construct of a set body of information. Of being in a state of value judgements because of not being grounded in this living structure called earth.That state of separation is of a state of value judgements that leads to being in a state of fear, because it lacks wholeness causing discord that has no real ability to stand. It has no real structure of constancy.
It is then of projection, a state of suspension from life. And it consumes the substance of the physical leading to dis-ease because it stresses the physical in consuming it faster than the physical can rebuild itself. It is worshipping a false god. I could say, ironically, one is in a constant state of construction and deconstruction, moving in a sequence of timed events that never solidify, that never rest, that leads to a constant looping within. That is a constant pull back and forth of good and bad, right and wrong, more than and less than.
That “ state of innocence” does not have that same quality, it has more constancy, more joy, more stability, is is a more “ real” state of being. It realizes there are not problems and only solutions. it realizes that reacting to a system of what I have called “ slippery fish” is pointless. one need only stand to rebuild a structure that lends stability and constancy because a restoration of a natural innocence of the child feels FUCKING GREAT. One wants to smile, one wants to interact and communicate, one realizes the real value is life itself! There are no problems in this state, there are only solutions. There is no such thing as criticism in this state. It lends a great ability to not react to that slippery-fish state because what is more visible is how much that slippery-fish state lacks any real structure and that this lack-of-real-structure can never really be happy. What is desired is to instead be that state of innocence that realizes there are only solutions, that realizes there is no such thing as criticism. It realizes that the self is always here. Nothing can define who and what one is but the self as life, which includes all things, and thus is physical.
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