Thursday, May 21, 2020

Day 838 Continuing with " hurt." I am suppressing a natural sentience

In relation to the word” hurt” I notice some “ worries” coming forward, especially in relation to my children.
In some respects, this is much like an addiction, as though being focused on something is better than not being focused on something.
This, and the realization that real doing is walking the small steps to get things done, which are practical, as movement, because this is a physical reality.

I also notice that the more I read about how our present system moves resources around this earth, is a form of doing, of ordering things.

There are so many anecdotal events and stories happening in other places, that are telling in themselves.

And then, this gap. This immediate movement , here, with my children and my cultural heritage. 

This “ hurt” is a remembrance of an absence of looking here, speaking up about what is here, paying attention to those small voices as those seemingly anecdotal movements that come through a narrative in a moment, as though it is a public notice. Like those things slipped into government bills, that are a sideways move for personal gain under the guise of help. Somehow these movements are similar. Are we so spaced out we remain in threads without seeing the movements and their consequences on the greater whole. We are so scattered that consequences, like a ripple effect, are in our peripheral vision only. 

Presence, a developed presence would notice the slightest breeze, thus, we have the capacity to sense that one small voice revealing consequences that are a ripple from an action made any where on earth. 

I am working with a client. In the course of our dealings with one another, I begin to recognize what I would call personality inflammations. It is a focus on a certain value. There is an insistence to it. It draws in a certain incestuous quality and moves to gather through the force of its insistence.

Thus “ hurt” is then perhaps another level of a belief in the impossible, that recognizing this and catching the words of and as it, is something overwhelming, because explaining this is, or appears to be difficult. Things are difficult to explain, in simple ways, when one does not yet have enough information, or, is not yet bringing things into clarity in such a way, that one need only speak a few words to describe the movement, because one’s intentions are clear. This in turn improves this for all because it is known that it is not how difficult the word is, it is how much the word has been used by the collective, meaning, it is how known the word is! The language, the word, must be known by the general awareness of us all. 

In order to see, an absence of seeing only the lack must be removed. And, within this, feeling full on the movement in the space here, as that “ hurt” was a consequence of shutting down real and direct looking, because we humans are able when we focus, when we are relaxed to sense the most subtle of breezes. And, we humans are able to foretell the coming weather by the tilt of an Edelweiss growing on the side of a mountain top. So then why is there poverty in any measure on this earth? Why is there extinction on any continent on this earth? It makes no sense. 

Our language focuses us. That means it can be a distraction as well as a guide. 

If we focus too much on this, it can become a habit at the expense of real presence, of real sentience, of real feeling. This I see as what each one can be and do. We can sense the space, like a carpenter who has worked in framing with wood, no longer needing to measure the space, because they FEEL that size and shape of the space so well they KNOW the shape and cut it accordingly. Can we agree, that in many ways our present system moves to allow this, but at the same time thwarts this natural sentience through the movement as the very timing of how things are ordered at the moment. It is using the good to thwart a natural ability.

We learn to crawl without micro-management. We humans need the living space, the space of earth to move with and expand with into knowing this space. Placing us in boxes where pictures are used to program us about this space, is the opposite of life. It is not working and cannot work. It is as simple as that. And it is why we have career politicians and administrators who spend their lives in a space of policy makers that are so out of touch with reality that they have made natural the idea that collateral damage is a part of ordering this reality.  IT means they are so removed from life that they have lost KNOWINg the space as a living space, a physical reality of interlocking parts moving in ways that are beyond what any supercomputer can or will be able to do. I have a relative that worked with the present system. In his old age, every time I have seen him, he has said that they know they will never be able to create artificial intellegence. Dr. Zach Bush has said that there are so many viruses with something like 10 to the 31st power that no super computer will ever be able to catch up. But that sentience as life, within each human, when properly developed with being able to focus directly on this living earth, that is something that would create a world where each one thrived as who and what we are as life.

Therefor, given the programming I have allowed within myself, is hurt really something that is real? Of course this is meant as more of a psychological belief in an imaginary hurt from an inner belief. This is not meant to encompass the idea that I can put my hand on something extremely hot and not get burned - perhaps this is possible, but at the moment, where I am in relation to all of this, doing such a movement would have an unwanted consequence. The state of being as a mind consciousness of layered pictures as ideas, beliefs, and opinions, within a loss of this real life within as self, as sentience, causing one to seek, and as such to have wants desires and needs, causes a separation and distraction from what is natural within us as that life within us that feels this space, this living reality. We are basically existing in a resonant veil of mis-information as scattered parts that distract out real feeling, We are emotional with a cult of positivity that seeks to bury our loss of self as life. We are standing in a resonant tread mill, circulating in limited information, that is insecure and unstable. We can hear this in our words. IT takes us a long time to say something, and often, so many words are basically saying no-thing. We use double speak, meaning we make statements of “ good” and then qualify the opposite to justify that which we say we are not doing. 

Thus hurt is really a shadow of a past conditioning movement,  it is the recognition of a loss of presence. I find it interesting that in America today, the areas where there are more administrators and centers of policy making are remaining closed down, while the middle states where there is more industry and agricultural practice, are opening up, in relation to this 2020 viral outbreak as the narrative is generated. It would suggest that those working in separation from the land, are in fear and loathing from having seen the world through a petrie dish environment that is so removed from reality it basically wants to shut down movement of men as life. That is a form of petrification. It is an absence of presence. And it is a battle for products to maintain a cash flow for that petrie dish world. One that will never work and is not working. 

For myself, the moment I sense any resistance or hesitation within me, or feel that something is difficult, I am in my own resonant storm. I am in the habit of mis-information and in separation from breathing and being grounded and feeling the living space that is here as this earth, as this physical reality. Hurt and pain are myself in an E-motional storm. The motion of life is around me, it is here. I can breath, slow down, listen as become silent and forgive myself back to being what is natural and here as life as who and what I am, as I am the most perfect form to be present, as seeing directly here. I am life. 

Practicing our words, knowing them so well we need not think about them, being able to read and process information effectively, must be practiced and walked, with consistency in order for us as our natural ability to fee this space and be present, must be discovered. Then will our behaviors improve and our greatest happiness as giving will become our state of being. 

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