Day 841 The law of compounding effects and the elephant in the room

The law of compounding effects and the elephant in the room.

In walking the process of realizing myself as moving as energy, as a mind consciousness system, instead of being present with who and what I am as a human being, I had a period in time where the anxiety that I allowed to generate within and as me, appeared to not want to subside. I could recognize this and breathe and slow down within myself, yet that which I had created and allowed, as a belief, opinion and idea, within me, had been generated from childhood. It had automated. It was how I had defined myself and the world around me. 

It had started with one small movement, just as the process of building a skill set begins with a small movement. A mixture of my own desires as I learned to direct myself in the present system on earth of ego before consideration of all things, taking the good an ensuring no harm, or the choice to act in self interest rather than the choice to remain present in this physical creation that is earth - that is me, because if I were to stop breathing, what would remain is that which is sentient within me, and the physical elements that compose my human body.  This physical reality that is creation in expression. All of this which is visible and in plain sight.

With one small movement, most probably myself within a desire for something, I became a desire that attempted to create itself, in a world where other humans were also moving as energy - instead of remaining present in consideration of all things here as the physical that is creation in expression. Then, and probably because my communication skills were not equal to my own sentience, any attempt to follow through with a desire, and communicate what I was experiencing to adults that were also caught in ego, or a loss of presence consideration of all things, I confronted this reality and an alternate reality of limited value judgements that was the cause of a loss of real presence and respect for this creation all around us that is us called earth. 

The act of balancing all of this out, and the inability to move through what has been called an inner storm ( that is energy instead of sound presence - that natural ability to consider all things, to take the good and do no harm, to realize there are no problems and only solutions ) overwhelmed me.  Not to mention that in order, in the order of chosen small movements, I acclimated to the systemic beliefs of my parents, to survive, to avoid conflict, to avoid saying the things that triggered a recognition of this state-of-separation within my parents.

If one is moving as energy, as emotional and feeling bodies of value judgements as a survival suit, things can trigger the protection and defense mechanisms of that personification. This can vary be degree, in relation to where the person is at in terms of resolving that generation by value judgements.  

The degree of procrastination, of resistance to and towards actually getting things done mirrors the extent to which one is moving as energy or as a greater presence into who and what we are as physical living states-of-being here on this physical world called earth that is creation manifest, something that is in plain sight and not a fantasy of some other alternate world where life will be “ better,”

Our separation is visible in how our bodies move. That over thinking of good and bad, more than and less than, right and wrong as a dialogue filled with a  never truly fulfilled“  sense of promise.” This state of separation has an energetic quality as an absence of stable and sound and more silent presence.  One can have imaginative scenarios of outplay happening from the over thinking visible as polarized thin-king, an inner emotional energy of and as anxiety. This is already within the law of compounding effects an indication that too much thin-king and over use of the imagination has caused a state of separation from reality, from being practical, from realizing in every breath to take that which is good and does no harm, to give as one would receive recognizing that life is physical, a physical creation in plain sight as creation  - as real creation would be and do. 

In walking this process there was about a year where resolving this self created anxiety appeared to lack change. I had to take apart the movements that had generated this inner state of being, and no longer allow that to be what was the master of me. It took reconstructing myself as well, as the act of writing this all out and as well, writing out the self correction. It meant going back t

o childhood and realizing where the smallest acceptances as the choices I allowed to direct me began in a moment, a process that continues today.

That anxiety accumulated and appeared to be like an elephant in the room within and as me, as what defined me as what determined my own movements and reactions to the things around me, here, on this physical reality called earth that is life in creation, in expression here.

Because this had accelerated within me, the increased anxiety was similar to mastering a skill set. In mastering a skill set, there is also the law of compounding effects. Things will begin to accelerate, like information accelerating, in an exponential way.  As I moved into a greater mastery of a skill set, things also began to move in more exponential ways. I think it is what is called moving into grace as one masters something and can process, or cross reference, the smallest of movements required of that mastery and seeing the whole at the same time. Here there is no time. It is where one is aware in one moment, as a focus, of all that is of that measure as a medium within which one is interactis. Things become lighter, easier and fluid. It is like a grace is opening up and everything is flowing. 

It is the same with the inverse. It is the same with my accepted and allowed over thinking of and as moving as value judgements, as right and wrong, good and bad, more than and less than, as comparing myself to the world around me, within and as myself believing I needed to appear to be something, as moving as a personified value system instead of realizing that everything that is here in this creation that is physical, is me in another life. As this, the anxiety had increased, and most probably because I had called it up to take it apart and forgive the value judgements. That over thinking, that over-use of the imagination, and the circulating energy from that emotional state of being.  I knew that when I did something like bump my toe, it was not the fault of the object, but of my lack of presence. I was not present in this reality, I was off somewhere in my own energetic resonant bubble, being that which my parents had been and that I had absorbed at the expense of myself as life.

This anxiety appeared to be becoming the complete master of me. It was reaching its exponential movement into realization as expression in reality. The information of it, was moving into exponential growth, consuming the body as me. It was my accepted and allowed creation. This is cool in a way, because it is how we learn, we are given what we allow to ourselves. It is a problem when this is taken to this point and it interrupts the lives of others; the plants and the animals and other humans. 

And then, on the greater stage, something suddenly exists as the words “ plausible deniability.” Where a system like our government can decide to not tell the whole story in the choices being made with the resources of earth. A silent plausible deniability of that disclosure for a “ higher moral purpose” that is the purported responsibility of the “ state.”  Harm is never a choice, as it is the choice that compounds into that which it is, more and more harm. At the end of the day, there is never the choice of harm that can be hidden behind a movement of and as hiding something behind a guise of higher moral purpose. That is a cop out and more of the same as living value judgements instead of realizing that there are no problems and only solutions, ones that move in transformative ways and means,  respecting where we are at, and making the choice to choose what respects all things. This is the one principle to live by, and express. This means to give as one would receive, to take the good and do no harm in thought, word and deed. This means being that state of being present, which has a sound quality to it, one of constancy and grace. 

We all admire it when a person has mastered a skill set, where it is like watching a form move in self awareness and of “ tight junctions” in the expression of itself within a medium. It is probably the closest to balance as a creation we experience, because we know on some level that this movement into grace, that has a quality of exponential movement as one moves into being more equal and one to the small and the whole, in total focus, as a quality of peacefulness and presence that is the real “ light” that we are all attracted to. A “ light” that is of stillness and absent of “ light” as an energetic entity. It is why I believe some say the darkness is the light. That greater presence that lacks bling and a certain degree of excitement. That is of more grace and is more stable, and constant, it can meet the unexpected and transform that within more immediate movement into balance despite the new information being included into the expression. 

It is the difference between living strung out sound bites of information, being generated by some excitement. It is like someone speaking a sentence that paints a picture of something in such a way that the receiver realizes a greater awareness of something, as the parts and the whole moving in tandem to express in such a way that there is balance and a lack of anxiety, or energy. The movement moving more in that fluid manner, exhibiting changeability and grace. This is why humans will pay a lot to meet with someone who has mastered something. Which also removes those caught in personification of scattered and strung out thinking, where energetic emotional inner storms are generating that persons expression. The very nature of that state of being requiring those strung out sound bites to express themselves because their value system is limited, because there is an absence of real presence, indicating an ignorance of considering all things, taking the good and ensuring no harm as the movement of giving as one would receive.  This is where a so-called “ sweet person” is actually not all that sweet, because they are choosing to be sweet over being in consideration of things in their reality. iI is a form of attention seeking. When I was teaching in a school, there were children that were already living this personification. It occupied them to such an extent they were not able to process the information being taught and were as such, not very good students, which in and of itself, interrupts the overall classroom experience for others- which is not really a nice thing to do. But, hey, I am a sweet person…. NOT. 

In some ways, I see that this law of compounding effects exists on the greater stage on our society today. I mean, we move from one crisis to another as the news feed. We moved recently from social disruptions in Europe, to an attempt to impeach a president, to the “ viral” outbreak, to rioting. In the course of history it is as though things are moving exponentially faster, things getting tighter in the outplay of crisis scenarios. What happens in the small, manifests in the greater whole. 

As a reaction to this compounding and intensifying movement of crisis scenarios, there is one choice, and no plausible deniability as a hidden value judgement that allows a lie under the guise of a “higher purpose” choice because that is more of the same that lead to the problem, the exponential growth of conflict. The choice is to realize more transformative movements to make the choice to live the principle that can direct every ONE, to realize a state of life, as creation, in balance, that brings all things here, where there is no “ heaven” off somewhere else , as the realization that this physical creation is life manifest. It is time to move as the principle to give as you would receive, to take the good and do no harm. It is time to forgive the present reactive movement that causes violence and harm, disrespect and judgement and live a respect that manages the resources of earth in ways that sustain and balance this creation that is life. 

It is time to realize that in the very way and the choices of words a person uses, reveals their inner state of being. It is time to master our words, and redefine them to be in respect of this life, this creation, this physical reality that is life in creation. In some ways, words are the means of the imagination. It is important to realize those words in such a way, that they have a living relationship to the real physical creation called earth that is us. It is time to use an immense creative ability to move into realizing transformative ways to respect this reality, causing no harm and giving as we would receive, to stand in grace, equal and one with creation here. 

Ironically, if our inner intentions are clear, we can speak with fewer words, yet to live that inner intention that opens doors of understanding, we as a species must master the language. It is English that is ruling the world today, through words, more than any religion or any other language. And, other languages I am sure have words that remember subtle things about how this reality, this living physical planet that is creation manifest, is and does as itself as life. Yet, English is the religion that is manipulating this reality today. In so many ways, it is actually a small thing. When one becomes more a master of it, like a computer desk top that is well organized, there opens up the space to be more present within and as the moving parts because one is not having to think about the language and at the same time  one is having an orderly means to define the moving parts of an overused imagination tied to value judgements and memory-like dramatic playouts within one’s mind as an energetic storm causing separation from being present, equal and one to this reality that is physical and is creation manifest.

It is time to live the grace of life here. 

Day 840 Our #words determine our #focus.

One of the things I notice more this week is the words used. It is something we all know. How often to we cross reference and really check in on how we are using our words, what the words are, the tension of ease or FOCUS as form of the words we speak - each and every little part and movement. Does not a painter practice the lines and measure and color, and shape and movement of a line of paint? And, master that to the point a “ master piece “ is created? Does not a musician practice every subtle movement to the smallest degree to the extent it is in that mastery of that tiniest of movements that suddenly a whole world of possibility in creating a sound opens up? The thing about SOUND, as the words we speak, it is like a physical thing, a musical thing and a visual thing! And the forming of ourselves will be determined by the sounds we make, the silent ones inside us and the ones we allow to focus us, and the ones we speak - as a response to all of this. 

If you are having to THINK about what word to use, because you cannot yet SPELL the words, and have a security in and with the words - because you have never really practiced your words - how are you going to be able to use CARE with your words? Are your words running away with you, in some form of AUTOMATION? We tend to automate what we practice. Thus, if we practiced without real specificity and focus, we become that lack of specificity and focus. Scary but also a great means to an amazing end? Like how we work is specific because it lets us know we are amazing and can master things! Deeply KNOW that, find it, and change your practices. 

We need only look at the media to see how specific what we practice is and does. It is a system of half truths and a lot of drama. We can get so caught up on that, we cannot see the means to the end. It is like we are riding a tide and it has control when we are the essence of that tide, and as such, can determine the tide. When we  realize we are the tide, we rejoice in all the other water molecules that are there with us, expressing creation as a movement of life. It would not appear so if one were caught in the tide. It would appear to be something that is impossible, because that is the nature of being caught in the tide and being in a contrast of loss as forgetting that one is the tide itself. Scattered thinking and a fractionalized focus would cause that perspective. And yet, what is enabling that experience but the physical body one is within, that body that when no longer functioning, removes the ability to be tossed about by the tide. Would being that which moves the tide, as expresses and forms real movement be something that is more eternal ? 

I was chatting with someone this week and within a pause they turned and talked to another person in their space. The immediate response towards that other person was a frame of “ don’t do that.”  That  is an accusative statement, and an end-game statement. It simply shuts things down and leads to a moment of confusion because it is a subtle shock- in a way.  It simply stops things and then one is left hanging. We supposed, or assume so much. Perhaps the person did not know what they were doing, or about to do, and someone caught it. Something like “ watch out” might be better, and less shocking, if it had to be said quickly. “ Watch out” lends itself to “ look here”, or “ watch out for that.” This lends itself to follow through, to a movement that lends a continued generation of expression. The “ don’t do this or that” is a form that suddenly stops things, without any further focus. One is left standing in “ stop.” Of course there are moments when one would use simply “ stop” and then clarify. There are moments when a strong stop is necessary. I would imagine they are not too often. 

I have studied with someone who had mastered something. One of the things I learned and experienced, was when they said something of few words, and they were so clear a whole world opened up.  I want to say that I as the listener had also done my own work. It is that self generation to the extent there is self momentum when meeting someone who has mastered something that one is working on mastering, that master has a really clear intent, or inner “ knowing” from experience. It is like the key of me, and the key of them, meet. 

The same thing happens with emotional/feeling bodies, or value judgement self definitions that are protections from real mastery of self, or that which limits self responsibility in becoming a master with clear intent.  In the reverse, we play memory match, we seek those who have the same self sabotage system of holding onto emotional experiences that have not been cleared, which we master and comes to direct us, so we seek another human who has that same signature - we are riding a wave of ideas and opinions and beliefs, we are absent from being present and being the wave itself. This can be heard in the very sounds made and the words chosen. It is like playing at half mast. The quality of the sound is diminished, it has a muffled sound to it. And it is subtle. Perhaps not too subtle. It is just that it has become so normalized that the difference is ignored. It is like we are fish acclimated to polluted water and we believe that is how it is because that is all we have ever known. Imagine that fish when it suddenly meets clear, pristine and pure water? it will wonder how it ever believed the other could ever have existed. 

It is the same within realizing that poverty and starvation should not exist. In tandem with realizing how one is as the words one speaks, as one’s VOCAbulary, should one really begin to work on every sound coming from their body - even the ones that are silent within, or cannot be heard by others as we assume - should one begin to rebuild them and really know them the difference is similar to the experience of that polluted water and that pure water. One will begin to wonder how one ever could have assumed that dirty water was normal. 

Is it possible to realize that the media news flow today is very polluted? Imagine what a “ clean” media would be and do, the potential for such as that to support what is best? What if we heard the living natural world more, that which is around us? 

The quality of “ hey, look at this and look at that” with a smile is very very different than a “ don’t do that!” or a “ don’t do this!” with no explanation of correction, or a correction filled with contempt and frustration and impatience. The difference would create two very different people, or adults in this reality. Most of those with success have more of the first and less of the second. This is known in the research into language development. Neurons that fire together wire together.  Forming these responses and expressions with the body will determine the very slant of your eye, or the pressure in your back, or the pain in your legs. One fits into creation and the other does not.  We have simply suppressed looking and mastered that ignoring of how this all works. It is, overall, a crime against life to ignore life. It is an abdication of self as life.  What do we think this would do to our health? 

The irony is that it is so much more fun to be able to be the creator, to be in clear waters, to lend direction because in so doing we are in discovery mode, we are in awe, we are in connection. The difference is being in a murky shadow and being in clear air. One breeds more fear and apprehension and the other breeds more clarity and presence. 

I realize the moment I go into confusion, I am no longer clear. A lot of my confusion causes me to become more apprehensive and then I make things up to hide the difference. Then I tend to avoid some to seek out those with whom I do not feel the threat of looking at the confusion I have not YET resolved, and that has become a program from repeated practice. As has been said, it takes more time to correct something than to have done it correctly from the start. I had to learn this from playing the violin, because in this world, at least with something like that, it becomes obvious very quickly because the demand to self generate in the medium does not allow one to hide. If one does not play, one cannot move forward. The medium does not allow a pause in time. It simply must be done. If one does not do it, others in the medium are left standing. And, one can very easily be replaced. 

The difference within using words happened this week. I talked with someone that had a nice resume. When I met with them, their English was not very good. They knew this too and did explain the difference. What I noticed, is my own entrenched “ politeness.” I was “ thinking “ this when the person explained that difference. They had studied English in a school in a foreign country and could write it, but speaking it was another thing. It is like our public schooling system; we memorize set bodies of information absent of application. When we then go out into the world we feel at a loss, we feel like we do not know something. We realize we have a very rudimentary understanding that lacks application so we do not really know how to self direct. That is a form and a function meant to dumb us down because at present we have a resource acquisition game going on - one that is a false paradigm. The physical cannot be owned, it is something that we use a principle with. That principle is a fundamental nature of life. It is to take the good and give as one would receive and do no harm. 

When we use our words in ways that are end games and of accusative intensity, we shut down real doing and discovery. When we use words such as “ hey, look at this,” or “ lets see what happens when we do this,” we maintain a flow of discovery with constructive direction. That practices real movement and self direction in relation to how this physical reality works and moves. The other leads to a state of confusion and interruption of real movement. If we are in an environment, in our developmental years, where we are only allowed to remain in a set body of “ spells” that are but shadows of things, we become that, and spend the rest of our lives attempting to remove that “ spell.” All the while, those who desire to play a false god, grab the resources of the physical - something that cannot ever be owned so this paradigm overall is a false and destructive one. Yet, what is created as a system is created by each of us, and it is recognizable in the very sounds coming from within our bodies. Thus, by default, we are the creators of the present system within and as how we focus our bodies and generate the very sounds we make as the words we speak. 

We begin to clean up that, and like that fish that knew ONLY polluted and muddy water, we, when that water is clear and pure, will wonder why we ever believed that spell around us was believed to be something real. 

I would, for the life that is you, begin to forgive your accepted and allowed and self generated actions, through self forgiveness and self correction in writing. And, at the same time, practice your words, rebuild them to purify your own waters and come back down to earth. This is the means to becoming a master of self to realize and enjoy the smallest of movements because in knowing the smallest of things we are more able to respect the ordinary and live the extraordinary. 

When things are said with clarity, we tend to listen, because somewhere there is a part of us that “ knows.” We “ know” the difference between clear water and muddied water. We are attracted to clarity because it opens that self discovery which requires real seeing. We also must understand how we muddied the waters within and without, to ensure that we never ever get caught in the same problem. And like all problems, there are always solutions.