Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Day 841 The law of compounding effects and the elephant in the room

The law of compounding effects and the elephant in the room.

In walking the process of realizing myself as moving as energy, as a mind consciousness system, instead of being present with who and what I am as a human being, I had a period in time where the anxiety that I allowed to generate within and as me, appeared to not want to subside. I could recognize this and breathe and slow down within myself, yet that which I had created and allowed, as a belief, opinion and idea, within me, had been generated from childhood. It had automated. It was how I had defined myself and the world around me. 

It had started with one small movement, just as the process of building a skill set begins with a small movement. A mixture of my own desires as I learned to direct myself in the present system on earth of ego before consideration of all things, taking the good an ensuring no harm, or the choice to act in self interest rather than the choice to remain present in this physical creation that is earth - that is me, because if I were to stop breathing, what would remain is that which is sentient within me, and the physical elements that compose my human body.  This physical reality that is creation in expression. All of this which is visible and in plain sight.

With one small movement, most probably myself within a desire for something, I became a desire that attempted to create itself, in a world where other humans were also moving as energy - instead of remaining present in consideration of all things here as the physical that is creation in expression. Then, and probably because my communication skills were not equal to my own sentience, any attempt to follow through with a desire, and communicate what I was experiencing to adults that were also caught in ego, or a loss of presence consideration of all things, I confronted this reality and an alternate reality of limited value judgements that was the cause of a loss of real presence and respect for this creation all around us that is us called earth. 

The act of balancing all of this out, and the inability to move through what has been called an inner storm ( that is energy instead of sound presence - that natural ability to consider all things, to take the good and do no harm, to realize there are no problems and only solutions ) overwhelmed me.  Not to mention that in order, in the order of chosen small movements, I acclimated to the systemic beliefs of my parents, to survive, to avoid conflict, to avoid saying the things that triggered a recognition of this state-of-separation within my parents.

If one is moving as energy, as emotional and feeling bodies of value judgements as a survival suit, things can trigger the protection and defense mechanisms of that personification. This can vary be degree, in relation to where the person is at in terms of resolving that generation by value judgements.  

The degree of procrastination, of resistance to and towards actually getting things done mirrors the extent to which one is moving as energy or as a greater presence into who and what we are as physical living states-of-being here on this physical world called earth that is creation manifest, something that is in plain sight and not a fantasy of some other alternate world where life will be “ better,”

Our separation is visible in how our bodies move. That over thinking of good and bad, more than and less than, right and wrong as a dialogue filled with a  never truly fulfilled“  sense of promise.” This state of separation has an energetic quality as an absence of stable and sound and more silent presence.  One can have imaginative scenarios of outplay happening from the over thinking visible as polarized thin-king, an inner emotional energy of and as anxiety. This is already within the law of compounding effects an indication that too much thin-king and over use of the imagination has caused a state of separation from reality, from being practical, from realizing in every breath to take that which is good and does no harm, to give as one would receive recognizing that life is physical, a physical creation in plain sight as creation  - as real creation would be and do. 

In walking this process there was about a year where resolving this self created anxiety appeared to lack change. I had to take apart the movements that had generated this inner state of being, and no longer allow that to be what was the master of me. It took reconstructing myself as well, as the act of writing this all out and as well, writing out the self correction. It meant going back t
o childhood and realizing where the smallest acceptances as the choices I allowed to direct me began in a moment, a process that continues today.

That anxiety accumulated and appeared to be like an elephant in the room within and as me, as what defined me as what determined my own movements and reactions to the things around me, here, on this physical reality called earth that is life in creation, in expression here.

Because this had accelerated within me, the increased anxiety was similar to mastering a skill set. In mastering a skill set, there is also the law of compounding effects. Things will begin to accelerate, like information accelerating, in an exponential way.  As I moved into a greater mastery of a skill set, things also began to move in more exponential ways. I think it is what is called moving into grace as one masters something and can process, or cross reference, the smallest of movements required of that mastery and seeing the whole at the same time. Here there is no time. It is where one is aware in one moment, as a focus, of all that is of that measure as a medium within which one is interactis. Things become lighter, easier and fluid. It is like a grace is opening up and everything is flowing. 

It is the same with the inverse. It is the same with my accepted and allowed over thinking of and as moving as value judgements, as right and wrong, good and bad, more than and less than, as comparing myself to the world around me, within and as myself believing I needed to appear to be something, as moving as a personified value system instead of realizing that everything that is here in this creation that is physical, is me in another life. As this, the anxiety had increased, and most probably because I had called it up to take it apart and forgive the value judgements. That over thinking, that over-use of the imagination, and the circulating energy from that emotional state of being.  I knew that when I did something like bump my toe, it was not the fault of the object, but of my lack of presence. I was not present in this reality, I was off somewhere in my own energetic resonant bubble, being that which my parents had been and that I had absorbed at the expense of myself as life.

This anxiety appeared to be becoming the complete master of me. It was reaching its exponential movement into realization as expression in reality. The information of it, was moving into exponential growth, consuming the body as me. It was my accepted and allowed creation. This is cool in a way, because it is how we learn, we are given what we allow to ourselves. It is a problem when this is taken to this point and it interrupts the lives of others; the plants and the animals and other humans. 

And then, on the greater stage, something suddenly exists as the words “ plausible deniability.” Where a system like our government can decide to not tell the whole story in the choices being made with the resources of earth. A silent plausible deniability of that disclosure for a “ higher moral purpose” that is the purported responsibility of the “ state.”  Harm is never a choice, as it is the choice that compounds into that which it is, more and more harm. At the end of the day, there is never the choice of harm that can be hidden behind a movement of and as hiding something behind a guise of higher moral purpose. That is a cop out and more of the same as living value judgements instead of realizing that there are no problems and only solutions, ones that move in transformative ways and means,  respecting where we are at, and making the choice to choose what respects all things. This is the one principle to live by, and express. This means to give as one would receive, to take the good and do no harm in thought, word and deed. This means being that state of being present, which has a sound quality to it, one of constancy and grace. 

We all admire it when a person has mastered a skill set, where it is like watching a form move in self awareness and of “ tight junctions” in the expression of itself within a medium. It is probably the closest to balance as a creation we experience, because we know on some level that this movement into grace, that has a quality of exponential movement as one moves into being more equal and one to the small and the whole, in total focus, as a quality of peacefulness and presence that is the real “ light” that we are all attracted to. A “ light” that is of stillness and absent of “ light” as an energetic entity. It is why I believe some say the darkness is the light. That greater presence that lacks bling and a certain degree of excitement. That is of more grace and is more stable, and constant, it can meet the unexpected and transform that within more immediate movement into balance despite the new information being included into the expression. 

It is the difference between living strung out sound bites of information, being generated by some excitement. It is like someone speaking a sentence that paints a picture of something in such a way that the receiver realizes a greater awareness of something, as the parts and the whole moving in tandem to express in such a way that there is balance and a lack of anxiety, or energy. The movement moving more in that fluid manner, exhibiting changeability and grace. This is why humans will pay a lot to meet with someone who has mastered something. Which also removes those caught in personification of scattered and strung out thinking, where energetic emotional inner storms are generating that persons expression. The very nature of that state of being requiring those strung out sound bites to express themselves because their value system is limited, because there is an absence of real presence, indicating an ignorance of considering all things, taking the good and ensuring no harm as the movement of giving as one would receive.  This is where a so-called “ sweet person” is actually not all that sweet, because they are choosing to be sweet over being in consideration of things in their reality. iI is a form of attention seeking. When I was teaching in a school, there were children that were already living this personification. It occupied them to such an extent they were not able to process the information being taught and were as such, not very good students, which in and of itself, interrupts the overall classroom experience for others- which is not really a nice thing to do. But, hey, I am a sweet person…. NOT. 

In some ways, I see that this law of compounding effects exists on the greater stage on our society today. I mean, we move from one crisis to another as the news feed. We moved recently from social disruptions in Europe, to an attempt to impeach a president, to the “ viral” outbreak, to rioting. In the course of history it is as though things are moving exponentially faster, things getting tighter in the outplay of crisis scenarios. What happens in the small, manifests in the greater whole. 

As a reaction to this compounding and intensifying movement of crisis scenarios, there is one choice, and no plausible deniability as a hidden value judgement that allows a lie under the guise of a “higher purpose” choice because that is more of the same that lead to the problem, the exponential growth of conflict. The choice is to realize more transformative movements to make the choice to live the principle that can direct every ONE, to realize a state of life, as creation, in balance, that brings all things here, where there is no “ heaven” off somewhere else , as the realization that this physical creation is life manifest. It is time to move as the principle to give as you would receive, to take the good and do no harm. It is time to forgive the present reactive movement that causes violence and harm, disrespect and judgement and live a respect that manages the resources of earth in ways that sustain and balance this creation that is life. 

It is time to realize that in the very way and the choices of words a person uses, reveals their inner state of being. It is time to master our words, and redefine them to be in respect of this life, this creation, this physical reality that is life in creation. In some ways, words are the means of the imagination. It is important to realize those words in such a way, that they have a living relationship to the real physical creation called earth that is us. It is time to use an immense creative ability to move into realizing transformative ways to respect this reality, causing no harm and giving as we would receive, to stand in grace, equal and one with creation here. 

Ironically, if our inner intentions are clear, we can speak with fewer words, yet to live that inner intention that opens doors of understanding, we as a species must master the language. It is English that is ruling the world today, through words, more than any religion or any other language. And, other languages I am sure have words that remember subtle things about how this reality, this living physical planet that is creation manifest, is and does as itself as life. Yet, English is the religion that is manipulating this reality today. In so many ways, it is actually a small thing. When one becomes more a master of it, like a computer desk top that is well organized, there opens up the space to be more present within and as the moving parts because one is not having to think about the language and at the same time  one is having an orderly means to define the moving parts of an overused imagination tied to value judgements and memory-like dramatic playouts within one’s mind as an energetic storm causing separation from being present, equal and one to this reality that is physical and is creation manifest.

It is time to live the grace of life here. 

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