Day 849 Seeing through the emotional projections

I am overusing the imagination! I find myself caught in inner dialogues .. lol die-logues. Like my “ god” of duality being logged or scripted within me, to then define me and resonate outwards where I will constantly validate that construction and lose a focus on reality. I move into a resonant vortex and then call myself a creator, only to realize it is a false god. Can one see where if a group did this some might faint as they move from their daily lives into that group generating one singular construction of belief? 

I interacted with a person close to me and suddenly found myself absorbing their focus. It is like a thing, a real thing in the space, a movement, a mirage.  I caught myself. It is a process towards limiting overthinking within myself. I also see that in some respects I may have suppressed some things. No matter, it is all a part of the process for me.

I remember I was in a classroom and had taught a lesson, had interacted in practice with the students and was at the point where I had the students practice on their own. As I walked around the room, one student looked up into space and “stared” what appeared to be a hole in the space. That is when I saw it, a huge screen in front of his eyes. He was an interesting student because he could do the math given by the system without any  previous instruction. He had the program for this within him. Later I found out he was adopted, because I remember thinking after meeting his parents that something did not make sense. How did I have that thought of something not making sense in relation to this student? What was I reading that I was not aware of in detail in terms of processing what happened, and yet had the reaction when meeting his parents that they did not have that within them that that student had within him? And again the question as to why I do not have this ability under my own awareness to the extent I could stand within that in any moment? I suppose my own ability was a program in itself with movements of visibility to cause more confusion within me. That which is real must be used even in fragmentation. 

I have realized that in those moments when such things happen I am usually calm and quiet within myself. This is what happened yesterday. It was such a sudden moment, and yet I slightly remember that movement of slowing down to listen. I am very close to this person, on a deep level I find it hard to become angry with them in any way. It is like we both know on a fundamental level that such is not real and not a place to go or to hold onto. I am, once again, left with a deep sense of shame. And a sadness in some respects.

And yet, the main thing I wanted to speak about was that I could see the resistances and reactions appearing, even in a much smaller movement. That protection and defense shield. It is almost as though there was a pulling back away from having listened. Which is interesting because I was in Singapore one time. I had been told many many times that it was very dangerous to take two blond headed children to that country. The whole time I was there is was so tense about my children. I kept a rigid eye on them all the time. It was a relief to return to the shop house and have quiet. One day I had left the house and gone to an area where there were banks, to deposit money. That day, for the rest of the day, in the periphery of my thin-king I felt that I had something hanging on me. I could not shake it. At the end of that day, that part of me that gets so sick of things stood on a side walk, as I neared the place I lived, and I stopped and said “no more!”. It was like I followed that string of uneasiness within me. I met a wall and heard a surprise on the other end of it. Suddenly, that presence , that “ person” that had followed us most of the day was gone. The whole sense of heaviness was gone. In one moment. I suppose such instances accumulated throughout my life leading to a moment where I asked the internet for some answers because I was really really sick of what is going on. 

Yet, it is interesting, because in that moment with the person in Singapore, it was like sensing that person was suddenly blocked off. And that is what is interesting about yesterday, because that fine line where I found myself standing with that person, there was a subtle shift. I sensed that this person could no longer look me in the eye, their head turned and looked elsewhere. I don’t really have anyone to  help me with this so I have to figure it out for myself. 

Anyway, I became aware of my own resistances which is most likely why I noticed the difference between the two expressions. It requires an increase in processing movements in living time. And it requires slowing down and quieting the mind. I also have this sense that I entered into some private space. Do we have shields that come up when we notice movements in the periphery of our presence? And, is this more an opening of the heart? What I find is that it is so important to work on one’s words, to improve one’s ability to process the language, because it allows one to focus on more than what is happening within one. One develops a sense of ease in processing the words, and by extension, can process more than what one is accepting and allowing within one’s self. It is just like a computer. One’s desk top cannot be cluttered with reactions as beliefs, opinions and ideas, as desires, wants and needs, one must see that and sense the greater space around one. It is simple, yet the chaos of the present system is meant to suppress this natural ability. We will not really be happy until we resolve this. And it is very practical, that is the great irony. And it reveals the absurdity of being a fractionalized resonant shadow of beliefs that have that quality of energy, meaning they rise and fall in relatively limited order because what is not real cannot stand with any constancy. And yet we are so used to standing in that, that anything else appears to be a no-thing because it lacks the addictive excitement of the spinning picture show within.

Day 847 Letting go and letting be.

As happens at times, I will read an explanation of something that I have read before but my interpretation will be different. I will suddenly see another dimension of something. It is a process of acceleration in that one is processing what is here, be it a physical thing, or a piece of information. One recognizes the patterns or, requires less to process the overall form. In that moment something comes forward around the form. It is a process of being able to hold something and look at it from different angles while at the same time relating that to the greater whole. 

I can see where distractions in so many forms in today’s world can slow this process way down, that in itself consuming attention to the extent one is caught in maintenance and dealing with the outer world. It is actually a form of psychological war-fare. Demonizing one thing at the expense of others, is what we do when we ignore the physical, this earth. The illusion of some far off god is really a crime against life, especially when the principle in all religions is to give as one would receive,  which means to respect all things, to look at, or connect with, or recognize all things, which requires being present and here. Here is a physical reality. That reality requires the fabric of it to support it. The whole idea that we humans must pay to exist is probably one of the biggest slight-of-hands ever created!  Do trees pay to exist? Do deer pay to exist?  Are we paying to exist because we are participating in raping the resources without consideration of the environment? Are we actually paying for the abuse we are participating within? Like we are paying to rape this earth because we know we are raping this earth and as such our payment is basically a punishment for the rape we allow within and as every product we purchase without thought and recognition of where that product exists from in all the necessary steps of its creation? 

The extent to which we/I have created some ideology, resonant within, that there is some higher state of being, on/in/of some distant “ space” where a higher “ self “ will eventually come to be is an illusion, a distraction, a lie. 

I read a comment where someone was holding such a concept within them and speaking it out with such certainty is was astounding.  It is stagnant in a way, because it is a belief which has a bit of truth to it, that this person has a “ higher” self that is somewhere out there, and will eventually be the place this person will go to, meaning that higher self being  a state that can only exist somewhere else. I can just see the focus of the body and the attention in the eyes not being present, a huge resonant bubble of belief, in the form of a vortex and/or film around the body of this person writing. I suppose we cannot unsee what we have seen. To some extent, I remember my father having a dinner party with “ ghost busters” years and years ago, where it was said in a moment that heaven could not be trusted. A few years later, I experienced a moment where I realized everything I knew was a lie. Existence took up a lot of my time, and yet, in moments, I would purchase books looking for descriptions of my experiences. In once instance it took about ten years but I finally found it. That book became a treasure to me because I kept this part of myself to myself. When I began to speak up about it, I would shake so bad it was incredible to me. It brought forward other questions. Too bad this was not realized when I was young, yet I am thankful for some recognition at the moment. It is, overall, less painful to speak up than to remain in hiding. 

There must be very deep roots within me, as resonant constructions, of a fear of speaking against that imagined “ god.” There is also the realization that a steadiness can be created, or allowed to let be, as standing and speaking up in focus of reality here, and at the same time in recognition of the fractionalized separation into limited and stagnant processing of information - this which has a quality, or temper, or feel to it. The words must be aligned to the living flesh as this living resource called earth. This earth is the real magic in action. The over-use of the imagination into a layered picture show creates a vortex of separation from being focused here in this practical living reality. When I get to this point there remains a part of me that wants to weep in sheer shame of my own rejection of life. These cycles or time loops of belief within me. 

When my husband died, when I found him, a part of my inner statement to myself as what I was being was that something so magnificent could be lost. How could I have such a thought unless I realized it within myself? The next thought being that I could never tell a lie again and that the process of walking that would be very long and very hard! Had the pieces of space that had come through the cracks of my own resonant storm accumulated to the extent I had then accelerated the process simply in making the choice to do so? And how could one cause the same in others? Because ultimately the patterns are the same, and self realization is what each and everyone desires.

I am writing this out to realize more of what it means to stand as a living word. A relationship to what is here in the practical, as in realizing that I am life and that this life is physical - with some recognition at the same time that our systems at present, consume our attention through so many invisible ideologies. A virus is invisible, and in many accounts has never been seen. Our “ gods” are invisible. Our natural world is filled with some invisible evil - this a distraction from a realization that we are the physical, which cannot really be owned but by some idea. Our latest war was based on an idea of terrorism. Where to hide the truth but in plain sight, through projecting the blame onto some unnamed, anonymous entity? That gives a lot of grey area to play in. So many things are general instead of specific. Even our school systems base their program selections on studies done in isolation using practices established from other studies done long ago and that are unable to be duplicated. How many parents actually investigate this when looking at what their schools are doing in detail?  If one goes to a school committee meeting there is basically no one there - myself having been a parent who did not attend such meetings. The meetings themselves formulated in a way where a speaker has a limited amount of time to make a case. This a necessity because so many of us are emotional and our processing speeds are stagnant so it takes an effort to speak up. Emotional speaking is a lot like being in a soup. It is no wonder children begin to play with that soup and manipulate to no longer trigger a reaction from that resonant storm. I mean, compare this to the realization that children are not born racist or sexist or classicist ! Would such beliefs within slow down a natural ability of pattern recognition? 

As well, this contrast within being able to organize things, meaning to get all the necessary things in order to complete a task. We have all done such things, as cooking or gardening is such a process. 

When things become complicated most likely there are some unprocessed beliefs getting in the way of walking a process to accomplish a goal. What is necessary in such a situation is to purify and realign one’s words, to remove the polarized beliefs of value that exist in a form or protection and defense for manipulating that resonant state of ideologies separate from reality. They are there determining one’s movement and distracting one from realizing what is of stability and constancy,  what requires no remembering, what is an ease of knowing. 

If our words are clear, our intentions are more clear and as such, more able to be heard. This would take time and repetition, not so much to memorize the information, more to experience something that as I see it at the moment, to experience something that cannot be unseen. Something that enables one to recognize one’s attention to limited relationships, evident in the limited and stagnant moving utterances from a human locked in being way up their in an over-used imagination causing separation and fragmentation in their presence. 

What I ask myself is why I have had realization that nothing can define me but what I allow, mostly realized in moments with others where I suddenly realized what they were saying did not define who and what I am, and, even feeling incensed that such an attempt would be made, which is another form of distraction in itself! A deep anger at this, something I think I absorbed from my father - his degree of caring on another level being evident in certain moments of insight - funny how there is a correlation between the extent to which someone is reactive and the opposite potential of being incredibly insightful in other moments. 

There is space here, and that space allows one to process things. Within that space there is more space to realize an awareness of more than limited thinking as one’s shield of protection and defense in a moment. I supposed there is an underlying horror of becoming a spaced out, slow moving thing as a personality. Why this is coming up in this moment with such words, may be from some distant memory. Within my own anxieties is a sense of being strung out into some stagnant thing that has me feeling like I will be buried in a coffin, one of that same anonymous invisible design. And this before any value judgements where developed according to the environment in which I was born. 

I can see where understanding this would lead to greater patience, and allow more fun to be utilized in relation to standing more as a beacon of stability, of constancy and calm. I can see where this understanding would lessen a fear of facing limitation and realizing that an insistence and intensity in a focus of a person would be more realized as something that cannot define myself here, and at the same time realizing that buried in that is a potential that is projected outside of the self ( to keep it safe?) and to realize how to walk that back into recognition and self acceptance. This, done with a steady kindness, because it is understood into a form of knowing without an attachment of a fear of loss of such ability.  I look at kindness because in some ways, what i know as aggressive behavior is somehow not where I want to go. I liken it to playing a video game where one must become silent and watch the patterns before moving the figure through the revolving door in the video game.  It is like playing music, one listens, gets the tempo and joins - and not in a rushed or aggressive way. One just slides right in! 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being caught in a resonant construction of limited and spaced out and stagnant information.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being caught in a box, a resonant storm of energy, of and as an elevation of “thought.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separation myself from myself in relation to avoiding being stuck in a resonant box, making such a thing a huge thing, and as such running from such a thing, instead of standing in equality and oneness with and as my perception to see realize and understand that which would ground the moment in ways that diminish or dis-spell such a state of being.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear such a thing.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to hide from such.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel overwhelmed in relation to addressing or being exposed to such a thing, making it larger than life, instead of standing in recognition of such a thing to dis-spell the spell that is a projection from within the physical body of the person.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be paranoid of the paranormal. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to run from such a resonant entity, and to then pretend I did not understand such a thing, when there within this I already knew that I had allowed this, and could therefore blame no one but myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remember the desire I had that motivated such a movement to create such an inner resonant body that I pretended was following me yet knew was already within and from me, as the focus in the memory  was more of an idea of a holy ghost in the machine as a thing - to run from. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be occupied by these ideas, and within that to not see realize and understand that means of my own distraction, as I hide in fear of my own construction, as realizing what the motivating desire was within that initial movement.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand the extent with this, in and as a fear of confrontation, when in effect, I have actually seen this to the extent in a moment I realized that nothing could define myself here but what I allowed where in that moment, I realized that everything, everything I had been lead to believe was a lie, and within that to not see realize and understand what that meant in reality, in relation to the present system.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand and recognize that sense of what I call being “ loopy” which is telling in itself because that is in essence what i am doing, within and as looping around in a belief, instead of grounding myself here and speaking up in recognition that we are physical, that what is here is us, that nature is us, that it is creation, where this is realized because if this were NOT reality, why are the powers that be attempting to own this earth?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I as life can be hurt, within and as the realization that only that which is life within us remains, which cannot be owned but by acceptance and allowance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand, as my beingness, as myself that I am life here, and as such am able to cross reference all things and stand in recognition of all things, considering the consequences of every action within me, to bring what is constant and stable and eternal here where this focus of and as me speaks in ways that open acceptance and recognition of the physical reality as this is life here.

I commit myself to breath, to play, to slow down, to read here, to let go of resistances and process movements here, recognizing my own words and the word constructions of others, as we can only speak our experience.

I commit myself to letting go and letting be for a moment, and listening to what can with stand the test of time, here within and as a practical cross reference and investigation of all things building relationships equal and one in recognition of the physical as life in expression here.

Day 846 What does it mean to actually live a word?

What does it mean to actually live a word? It has to do with focus, yet not in the way we have been taught in many ways. We place so much of our focus into our imaginations losing a sense of the design and expression of the physical creation around us. That physical creation is stressed because it has been ignored at the expense of projections of ideas about how things should be. When we have a medical system that determines things in petrie dishes in labs removed from the living reality, we are not working with creation as the physical. We begin to force the physical into some design determined by what? By another physical creation overusing the imagination. What was religion after all but a consequence of separation from reality causing one to believe that there is something greater outside of one’s over-use of the imagination! As I mentioned in my last blog, the way I sense it today is a form of telescoping a focus into a projection. This does look like some vortex form flowing out from our eyes. We are attracted to one another resonances, both the real essence of the person but also, and more so, the projected belief systems. Our projections are also of that which we rejected within ourselves, meaning we chase our greatest strengths which has become our greatest weaknesses. We resist values. 

Imagine growing up in a home with adults who are doing this? It would be hard for a child to counter this, even if they spoke simply a clearly. That projection would get in the way, that emotional fire-wall.  The beingness way down at the end of the tunnel of projection would be spending all their time managing their projection, attempting to validate their construction, attempting to pull everything in in relation to their construction. 

People lie all the time, yet this is visible. It has a vacuous feel to it. That is a certain focus of the body. IN our innocence as children we must see this. After all, we then learn to not trigger that which upsets that vortex maintenance.  That vortex maintenance is so insistent and lost within itself. And one can see that the core is not focused in reality, it is focused on the projection. That would look somewhat like a momentary lack of real presence, with a quality in the moment of hoping no one noticed.That would have a thinner-ness to it.  It is a lot like being able to change qualities from intense and rapid, to soft and rapid, much like playing music.  The more one masters the instrument, one begins to play with so many different dimensions of intensity and volume. being able to change from one extreme to anther is really cool. How well one knows the structures, enables greater immediate change, which is basically being able to process with ease. Our bodies and how we focus are really no different. We have simply suppressed this.

I suppose that in communicating with others, it would be allowable to completely let things go and stand within another’s total state if being, and read the narrative, the pressures the imagery. Yet one would have to know the language of symbol. Or sense the strings of association to values. I could see where this would actually be fun and not something to fear. Nothing can actually define the self but by acceptance. The demons in existence could do nothing to anyone but by allowance. The media today is simply an outward manifestation of this that I speak of. As a consequence, we are all masters of this, we have simply mastered ignoring this! That is the level of greatness and creativity within each and everyone of us as life. 

I suppose my anxiety is a consequence of my own suppression of seeing this, of living being presence and focused with an ease. 

What would it mean then to live a word? It would mean to focus to define the space and where it, as humans, focus and do not focus. It is like a form, a thing. It is visual and auditory and tangible. How do I change to protect from what I perceive as an onslaught of a threat, which can only exist if I believe that something is attempting to change my own inner projections from an overuse of the imagination. Yet, nothing can be lost that is actually of life. Thus, nothing can really be lost that is real. 

It is like playing an instrument, being both big and small at the same time. Being able to move in counterpoint and remain stable.  I remember reading the Tin Drum when I was 12. I was fascinated by the perpetually screaming child. I thought the book had an answer, but it really painted a symbol picture of innocence’s response to a life out of balance. In reality that is what each one is doing, screaming to become what has been lost. Each one is screaming as that insistent protection of an overuse of the imagination to protect a construction of protection that is also believed to be a means to an end that is as itself spread way out into time lines of values causing a disconnect from being present. It is a huge game of distraction which is basically what our media is today. And, as well,  our corporate and government administrations. Administrations built of people doing the same thing. I meet many people who say they don’t get involved in politics and go home after work to do their own thing. That is probably one is the greatest evils in the world today, too - especially in America - that exists. It is an abdication of self responsibility, it is an abdication of self as life. It is a state of ignorance, a state of suppression which will accumulate and consume the flesh just as the means of the media in itself is consuming the flesh as the very fabric of the physical. It is a mis-use of resources. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk in a projection of mis-information, as limited story of imagery overall creating a separation from life, and stagnating a natural processing ability as such state of separation is distraction and a busyness of imagery in protection and defense of and as an awareness of an abdication of self as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that illusion of the present system, itself being a reflection of what each is being and doing within and as the very substance and the self as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that in reality all is in plain sight, within and as every small movement within the space of here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being defined as anything, when what I am is here as the physical as this earth as creation in expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take things personally, as though the projected belief of another, as a state of separation into ideas, beliefs and opinions creating wants needs and desires can have an effect upon me, when in reality nothing can define me but what I accept and allow.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into blame which is spite, as being lame in action, within and as self pity and guilt, as realizing I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as living limited information, causing polarized values, which is a form of stagnation, thereby in living a lie, the maintenance of that lie-by-omission, distracts and consumes my attention slowing down an ability to process the living reality that is me and is all around me here as this living physical creation as life manifest called earth - as was said that a “ heaven” needed to be brought down to earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that in many ways I am able to stand equal and one in thought, word and deed to realize want need and desire as being an exposure of separation from self as life, and as that, the very beingness of self as life, wanting to become the living word, to realize one greatest strength in expression as connection with all things here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand in thought, word and deed, the living word and what that means in every moment here as life in expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be pulled into beliefs as thoughts as spoken words of ideologies that are abstracts about things, where an end game of and as some invisible belief system with a promise of a “ more” being something out there in the future, that is “ incredible” which as a word suggests some nebulous idea of what we are as being a more as a “ cread” when this in itself is a distraction from being present in a reality where resources are mis-used to transfer wealth into digits that are accumulated into the hands of a few, as those who cannot exist without the resources being manipulated and the many hands of humans interacting with said resources, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize this simple fact and within that to stand up and speak even within and as facing resonant layers of mis-information holding this illusion in place, as just as it is to clean up a home so it is to “ clean” up resonant beliefs to stand equal and one to what is best for all here in respect of life that is physical. 

What would be a living word mean? It would have to have a quality of being eternal, something so clear, with such clear intent it would be readily realized - even within facing resistances to speak past that resonant storm of scattered information that has a quality of not being ablate sustain its belief? It would either cause interest or more reaction. This means a response of a reaction would indicate a button had been pushed that upset one’s inner construction!  Thus, friction means one has upset a belief, a self definition. Simultaneously,  that distraction would  slow down processing abilities  Using words in protection and defense of personalities would dis-tract hearing stability. Yet what would each seek but to remove the veil of this to live with self honesty and self trust, to use one’s ability to focus and understand form and function to the extent one creates, within and as realizing there are no problems and only solutions! This could as well be called balance. This balance manifest as the body being in a state of homeostasis, which can be done on earth. This would require a more respectful use of resources, and unconditional support within realizing basic needs in relation to what builds and supports the physical. 

Day 845 Beginning to see my own scattered intent?

There is this tension or pressure or tightness in my chest. I notice it happens as the patterns I have walked move through their motions, which means there are issues that have not been addressed.

These past weeks I noticed my reaction to “ big brother” once again came up. I notice I catch myself in my mind in imaginations or worst case scenarios with some revenge dramas playing out. This is not new to me, before I found desteni I noticed such things in relation to another situation in my life. I took a stance that was of “ who needs this!?” in relation to the thoughts moving within me and as me. I decided to change them by focusing on another way of seeing things. I actually changed the imagery and had a reaction as a voice coming up from deep within me telling me to stop. I actually forgot about this. What is cool about this is that it is a recognition, a cognitive movement, an understanding on a deep level that our thoughts are things, and that we can change them. If I can get to this realization myself, anyone can. Within this, I realize I did not apply this same realization to everything that was coming up within me! Such is the limitation of selective reasoning and as a contrast the degree to which I/we compartmentalize things where  something is valid in one area but not in another. 

Yesterday, I received a notice. I had inadvertently gone through a red light while driving around in NY. I actually remember the incident - and this I attribute to slowing down and breathing and listening to myself. I remember having passed the ample and noticed that it was red after the fact. I did not know the area very well and recognized that I had missed seeing the relatively obvious ample ! Why I mention this is because I got the letter from my mail box and read the words on the envelope and went into an immediate panic. I slowed down and recognized this and understood to open the letter before making a judgement. It was about that red light - the one I remembered. It was not something to go into a reaction about.

I watched the movements within me, being somewhat conscious of them from having paid attention to my own state of being. I recognize that even at this moment, I want to hold onto a fear of “ big brother” as a belief in our government being extremely corrupt at the moment. I hear stories from others. Yet, one person I know, involved in a government action, has behaviors that are so emotional they tend to trigger more discord than problem solving.I attempt to change this. One thing I say to them is that administrative bureaucrats are people who simply want their paper work in proper order, and will work with others to ensure that task is done. 

If I apply this same perspective to other areas of my life, where could I go? The situation where I changed my thoughts, and this reaction to paper work, and my experiences reveal to me that things are not as dire as I assume. And, I realize that were more people to see beyond their own emotional firewalls, where would we be? We would be more practical and realize the practicality of this existence, this creation. Being here in the moment, realizing we are physical and that this reality is in a creative FORM that when properly respected, could become a world where we as humans step forth as creators instead of emotionally reactive entities living in a spaced out thin set of images in a superimposed or hyper projection of ideas, beliefs and opinions. “ Hyper” means below. We are not “ running” on ourselves as life and it is visible, we can hear/here it. 

I also can see where being projections tenses up the body, as though the body is a telescope. What we are telescoping must be visible. Children must see this before they become a telescope themselves, that state of being that shuts down their natural constructively critical and creative ability to realize solutions, or realize balance in all things. That state that is lost by the third grade, because their words have become aligned to value judgements instead of being related, or associated to the living reality, the practical reality, the reality that lives providing basic needs to regenerate the living fabric of this life that is physical. This reality that religions and projected ideologies ignore at the expense of this means that is life in expression. 

I realize that limitation is stretching out into time, into limited value judgements as a story, shielded by justifications, all causing a state of separation and stagnation in the life of the individual. Time is separation from the living expression of reality. It is most probably why Christ said we have to become the living word, as opposed to being a self defining value judgement word. One slows down processing ability, the other is of an innate ability to see reality head on! And, I can more understand the argument for realizing the basic needs of all things here. Were basic needs met the financial situation would not be of such great inequality. And, our supermarket shelves would not have over-processed-dead-never-decaying food products. We most likely would not have obesity, cancer or any other disease. If one has lived in a resonant bubble of misinformation that is limited and of polarized value judgements it is a stress on the body and the body gets locked into what it practices - which is the movement of creation,  regardless of one’s actions. Time is like strings wondering off into some alternate reality where we hover above this reality like a balloon on a string, this is the nature of projections. Can all the parts be brought back into common sense to birth life back through the physical? It must be. It is the only way.

I see it at the moment,  that this is a practical conceptual thing. Meaning, one practices listening and standing equal to things, to then with few words, communicate with effect. Somewhat like opening up that ability to read things that jump out at one in a moment, like when I went through that red light and knew I had done it and that it would have an effect. Like an instant recognition of more than what was the immediate focus - that part of me that missed the red light over on the side of this rather broad cross section of parallel and angular streets. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to, as my beingness, see, realize and understand that amazing capacity of myself as life to read what it here, and within that, though through my own time-lines of belief causing separation, to be absent in listening to my own common sense, as the very presence of me, here as the life that is who and what I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to immediately go into doom and gloom, to envision a projected worst-case-scenario idea within and as me, before investigating the details.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to at the same time I realize my own inculcated ignorance, to also forgive myself for shutting down a natural ability to sense the many moving parts around me, and to within that, expand from and as that to realize in thought, word and deed what is best for all.

When and as I find myself reacting to words as things, on paper, or as beliefs within and as what is projected from within me, to breath, to slow down and to realize my own habituated time-lines of belief need not define who and what I am in a moment,  and at the same time, to embrace them, and enfold thumbtack into common sense within and as realizing that I am physical, I am here, I am life.

I commit myself to slowing down and breathing to remain more stable and quiet to see realize and understand my own orchestrations of beliefs, opinions and ideas, as reactions that are polarized into extremes appearing to be absolutes, to being them back to self and balance them into being practical and present within and as respecting who and what I am as life here, which is physical. 

I commit myself to accepting the gift go life that is me, as my beingness, and my presence, and within this to build an intent that can withstand the test of time, to live stability and share a focus into a consideration of all things here, to live in thought, word and deed that which respects and recognized the abundance of life that is here as the physical which is creation manifest. 

Day 843 #Words are structuring us!

I had an experience this week that I would call standing in a movement, an idea, a imagery of a value. I wondered from where this sudden “ state” generated from. It appeared to be suddenly around me. To some extent I, sensed this came as though through a thread, from a person that I had just met doing that moment. It is like stepping into something, or noticing a breeze within one’s environment.

I can see where when we move as energy, we live in a limited movement. Here, relationships would be defined by limited truths in a state of comparison within a singular value. It is a form or processing everything around us, yet we get stuck in that momentary form as a value judgement as an inform! A picture formed and picked up. It is somewhat like being in an orchestra where there exists counter musical dialogues coming up or emerging and developing in one moment. I supposed my more cultural oriented background is based on seeing things this way. My father a writer, my mother a painter, and myself having studied music. I was taught to draw and in turn taught my children. I also judge people by the paintings and imagery they have in their homes. I know … you can say it! lol Potential with only rudimentary development in relation to structuring one’s expression has somewhat become our present system. We focus on potential more than structural development. This means we are projecting ourselves, as those momentary bubbles of ideologies that have a truth but run in limited relationship. Meaning, a few values are hyper-realized and hyper focused upon, enlarging limited rationing which of course must be a super-imposed shadow when made larger than reality. This a projected state that the self can become lost within. IT is no irony that imagery becomes more and more infantile. Management of living in projected values consumes so much body substance, and attention the imagery must simplify like a disorganized file taking up space and using less to order the information behind it.  In reality, a simplified image allows for individual history or experience ( value judgement experience) to be filed behind the image, the attention requiring a simplistic image because as a projection, we can only focus on so much! 

Look at humans when they become very emotional. They use a more static form of language. They require many simple sentences to tell a story. Their story telling, or information relating is more drawn out! And, at the same time, filled with many trills, or filler words. Just look at how much we use the word “ like” when speaking to someone else! it has become normalized to the extent that it is expected. It shows a processing PACE within us too. 

This is made more visible as one improves language and reads. As one structures and practices one’s words, just as a musician practices notes, or a painter practices building a hand - eye coordination and gains trust in their ability to RELATE to their movement and the movement around them, their structural transmissions become tighter and more balanced. There is also more room for play.

Compare this to our present education system! We send this great sentience into a box, a petrie-dish education and have our potentials as our children, memorize a set body of information, where the competition is to do the regurgitation of this limited FORM lacking any real living application in real physical time! That generates competition within a narrow focus! It is mis-using the imagination! IT is FORCING a limited narrative, causing separation from a cross reference from reality! So, everyone becomes walking bubbles of value generated movements instead of remaining in a constant!

What are the corporations doing but moving to OWN that which cannot be owned but by a delusion as a movement as a form, as a construct written out on paper ( another tree thing) and place on an ALTER in a system that moves via information transmission from one closed box to another! That is insanity and a GREAT disrespect for earth. The patterns of this becoming clearer and clearer as one practices one’s measures, as words that FOCUS the body. A more FOCUSED body that has or is developing the tools of words, will open up a GREAT HUMAN ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE PATTERNS! At the same time I am astounded and ashamed of myself, I am also dis-covering a sense of awe at the fcking AMAZINGness of what we as humans can be and do! We can actually have fun catching ourselves being caught in resonant bubbles that inherent in the design, are limited information! 

This week, I also placed myself in a moment of “ four-sheets-to-the-wind.” Meaning, I just decided to go with whatever came up. I listened to someone and then related what I wanted to say through using their conflicts to tell stories of behaviors in living moments that I sensed would answer to their limitations, as them saying “ How can you help me?” I notice that is they become silent they are processing - and this can take time. It reminds me of a woman who has built a board of buttons on the ground that will sound certain words. Her dog uses this word-sounding board to communicate. IT takes the dog some time to process. It appears that the dog stands there with no intention of doing anything. The dog will stand in silence and then suddenly move towards the board and push some buttons. Because we are so used to living in our bubbled inner constructs of value judgement evident in taking a long time to say something, having many word fillers such as “ like” it will take acclimating to that strung out tempo that uses rudimentary imagery lacking real definition to speak. It is a slow processing ability, very slow at times. It has a quality of a loss of stability, of constancy, of “ getting things done.” It is all a math.

If we look at the media, it reflects this same measure. Just listen to the constant musical accompaniment! That same thing is used at sport games to sway building emotion in the audience! 

If we are moving as emotional value judgements we are easily triggered. The many police vids online show this. Like any system, it is not necessarily that the structural system is a “ bad” it is some “ bad apples in the systems that use this for control; either to move up in a system by creating scenarios that get that point to enable a person to move up a pay scale. Also, our insecurity is a consequence of this overall. There is not constant, thus self trust and self esteem are absent. And that absence of caused by dissonance covering it up because humans are great at pattern recognition! Even if that pattern recognition is being a system of causing discord and chaos, a well known divide and conquer mechanism. 

You are an instrument. The muscles and skeletal systems will hold the pressures of holding limiting information within. What you speak, what you focus on, and the development of tools to structure yourself, will determine the life you experience. The potential to be your best is always there, until a mis-use of this consumes the body. We can maintain a focus on this to the extent we sense the strings or threads of information having an effect on the body. 

The present system uses fear to create long drawn out threads of mis-information creating shadowy resonance as set-bodies of information, heavily polarized and of limited values lived in a slow movement as the processing of information! it is a math, a valley of smoke and mirrors! And, it has been normalized! And, it has a visible measure to it if one takes the time to begin to see around this normalized state of being. How can relationships be fulfilling if we are skimming the surface of what we are as life? 

When we as a collective begin to read this, everything is going to be alright. We will weep in the realization of the extent to which we shut ourselves off from who and what we are as life. While at the same time laugh in a state of joy. It will be a moment if sunshine and rain, those moments when the rainbow comes out and shows us the borders of the extent to which we refracted life and created an alternate reality dividing heaven from earth. It is time to bring heaven back down to earth to manifest our real potential as life. 

Day 841 The law of compounding effects and the elephant in the room

The law of compounding effects and the elephant in the room.

In walking the process of realizing myself as moving as energy, as a mind consciousness system, instead of being present with who and what I am as a human being, I had a period in time where the anxiety that I allowed to generate within and as me, appeared to not want to subside. I could recognize this and breathe and slow down within myself, yet that which I had created and allowed, as a belief, opinion and idea, within me, had been generated from childhood. It had automated. It was how I had defined myself and the world around me. 

It had started with one small movement, just as the process of building a skill set begins with a small movement. A mixture of my own desires as I learned to direct myself in the present system on earth of ego before consideration of all things, taking the good an ensuring no harm, or the choice to act in self interest rather than the choice to remain present in this physical creation that is earth - that is me, because if I were to stop breathing, what would remain is that which is sentient within me, and the physical elements that compose my human body.  This physical reality that is creation in expression. All of this which is visible and in plain sight.

With one small movement, most probably myself within a desire for something, I became a desire that attempted to create itself, in a world where other humans were also moving as energy - instead of remaining present in consideration of all things here as the physical that is creation in expression. Then, and probably because my communication skills were not equal to my own sentience, any attempt to follow through with a desire, and communicate what I was experiencing to adults that were also caught in ego, or a loss of presence consideration of all things, I confronted this reality and an alternate reality of limited value judgements that was the cause of a loss of real presence and respect for this creation all around us that is us called earth. 

The act of balancing all of this out, and the inability to move through what has been called an inner storm ( that is energy instead of sound presence - that natural ability to consider all things, to take the good and do no harm, to realize there are no problems and only solutions ) overwhelmed me.  Not to mention that in order, in the order of chosen small movements, I acclimated to the systemic beliefs of my parents, to survive, to avoid conflict, to avoid saying the things that triggered a recognition of this state-of-separation within my parents.

If one is moving as energy, as emotional and feeling bodies of value judgements as a survival suit, things can trigger the protection and defense mechanisms of that personification. This can vary be degree, in relation to where the person is at in terms of resolving that generation by value judgements.  

The degree of procrastination, of resistance to and towards actually getting things done mirrors the extent to which one is moving as energy or as a greater presence into who and what we are as physical living states-of-being here on this physical world called earth that is creation manifest, something that is in plain sight and not a fantasy of some other alternate world where life will be “ better,”

Our separation is visible in how our bodies move. That over thinking of good and bad, more than and less than, right and wrong as a dialogue filled with a  never truly fulfilled“  sense of promise.” This state of separation has an energetic quality as an absence of stable and sound and more silent presence.  One can have imaginative scenarios of outplay happening from the over thinking visible as polarized thin-king, an inner emotional energy of and as anxiety. This is already within the law of compounding effects an indication that too much thin-king and over use of the imagination has caused a state of separation from reality, from being practical, from realizing in every breath to take that which is good and does no harm, to give as one would receive recognizing that life is physical, a physical creation in plain sight as creation  - as real creation would be and do. 

In walking this process there was about a year where resolving this self created anxiety appeared to lack change. I had to take apart the movements that had generated this inner state of being, and no longer allow that to be what was the master of me. It took reconstructing myself as well, as the act of writing this all out and as well, writing out the self correction. It meant going back t

o childhood and realizing where the smallest acceptances as the choices I allowed to direct me began in a moment, a process that continues today.

That anxiety accumulated and appeared to be like an elephant in the room within and as me, as what defined me as what determined my own movements and reactions to the things around me, here, on this physical reality called earth that is life in creation, in expression here.

Because this had accelerated within me, the increased anxiety was similar to mastering a skill set. In mastering a skill set, there is also the law of compounding effects. Things will begin to accelerate, like information accelerating, in an exponential way.  As I moved into a greater mastery of a skill set, things also began to move in more exponential ways. I think it is what is called moving into grace as one masters something and can process, or cross reference, the smallest of movements required of that mastery and seeing the whole at the same time. Here there is no time. It is where one is aware in one moment, as a focus, of all that is of that measure as a medium within which one is interactis. Things become lighter, easier and fluid. It is like a grace is opening up and everything is flowing. 

It is the same with the inverse. It is the same with my accepted and allowed over thinking of and as moving as value judgements, as right and wrong, good and bad, more than and less than, as comparing myself to the world around me, within and as myself believing I needed to appear to be something, as moving as a personified value system instead of realizing that everything that is here in this creation that is physical, is me in another life. As this, the anxiety had increased, and most probably because I had called it up to take it apart and forgive the value judgements. That over thinking, that over-use of the imagination, and the circulating energy from that emotional state of being.  I knew that when I did something like bump my toe, it was not the fault of the object, but of my lack of presence. I was not present in this reality, I was off somewhere in my own energetic resonant bubble, being that which my parents had been and that I had absorbed at the expense of myself as life.

This anxiety appeared to be becoming the complete master of me. It was reaching its exponential movement into realization as expression in reality. The information of it, was moving into exponential growth, consuming the body as me. It was my accepted and allowed creation. This is cool in a way, because it is how we learn, we are given what we allow to ourselves. It is a problem when this is taken to this point and it interrupts the lives of others; the plants and the animals and other humans. 

And then, on the greater stage, something suddenly exists as the words “ plausible deniability.” Where a system like our government can decide to not tell the whole story in the choices being made with the resources of earth. A silent plausible deniability of that disclosure for a “ higher moral purpose” that is the purported responsibility of the “ state.”  Harm is never a choice, as it is the choice that compounds into that which it is, more and more harm. At the end of the day, there is never the choice of harm that can be hidden behind a movement of and as hiding something behind a guise of higher moral purpose. That is a cop out and more of the same as living value judgements instead of realizing that there are no problems and only solutions, ones that move in transformative ways and means,  respecting where we are at, and making the choice to choose what respects all things. This is the one principle to live by, and express. This means to give as one would receive, to take the good and do no harm in thought, word and deed. This means being that state of being present, which has a sound quality to it, one of constancy and grace. 

We all admire it when a person has mastered a skill set, where it is like watching a form move in self awareness and of “ tight junctions” in the expression of itself within a medium. It is probably the closest to balance as a creation we experience, because we know on some level that this movement into grace, that has a quality of exponential movement as one moves into being more equal and one to the small and the whole, in total focus, as a quality of peacefulness and presence that is the real “ light” that we are all attracted to. A “ light” that is of stillness and absent of “ light” as an energetic entity. It is why I believe some say the darkness is the light. That greater presence that lacks bling and a certain degree of excitement. That is of more grace and is more stable, and constant, it can meet the unexpected and transform that within more immediate movement into balance despite the new information being included into the expression. 

It is the difference between living strung out sound bites of information, being generated by some excitement. It is like someone speaking a sentence that paints a picture of something in such a way that the receiver realizes a greater awareness of something, as the parts and the whole moving in tandem to express in such a way that there is balance and a lack of anxiety, or energy. The movement moving more in that fluid manner, exhibiting changeability and grace. This is why humans will pay a lot to meet with someone who has mastered something. Which also removes those caught in personification of scattered and strung out thinking, where energetic emotional inner storms are generating that persons expression. The very nature of that state of being requiring those strung out sound bites to express themselves because their value system is limited, because there is an absence of real presence, indicating an ignorance of considering all things, taking the good and ensuring no harm as the movement of giving as one would receive.  This is where a so-called “ sweet person” is actually not all that sweet, because they are choosing to be sweet over being in consideration of things in their reality. iI is a form of attention seeking. When I was teaching in a school, there were children that were already living this personification. It occupied them to such an extent they were not able to process the information being taught and were as such, not very good students, which in and of itself, interrupts the overall classroom experience for others- which is not really a nice thing to do. But, hey, I am a sweet person…. NOT. 

In some ways, I see that this law of compounding effects exists on the greater stage on our society today. I mean, we move from one crisis to another as the news feed. We moved recently from social disruptions in Europe, to an attempt to impeach a president, to the “ viral” outbreak, to rioting. In the course of history it is as though things are moving exponentially faster, things getting tighter in the outplay of crisis scenarios. What happens in the small, manifests in the greater whole. 

As a reaction to this compounding and intensifying movement of crisis scenarios, there is one choice, and no plausible deniability as a hidden value judgement that allows a lie under the guise of a “higher purpose” choice because that is more of the same that lead to the problem, the exponential growth of conflict. The choice is to realize more transformative movements to make the choice to live the principle that can direct every ONE, to realize a state of life, as creation, in balance, that brings all things here, where there is no “ heaven” off somewhere else , as the realization that this physical creation is life manifest. It is time to move as the principle to give as you would receive, to take the good and do no harm. It is time to forgive the present reactive movement that causes violence and harm, disrespect and judgement and live a respect that manages the resources of earth in ways that sustain and balance this creation that is life. 

It is time to realize that in the very way and the choices of words a person uses, reveals their inner state of being. It is time to master our words, and redefine them to be in respect of this life, this creation, this physical reality that is life in creation. In some ways, words are the means of the imagination. It is important to realize those words in such a way, that they have a living relationship to the real physical creation called earth that is us. It is time to use an immense creative ability to move into realizing transformative ways to respect this reality, causing no harm and giving as we would receive, to stand in grace, equal and one with creation here. 

Ironically, if our inner intentions are clear, we can speak with fewer words, yet to live that inner intention that opens doors of understanding, we as a species must master the language. It is English that is ruling the world today, through words, more than any religion or any other language. And, other languages I am sure have words that remember subtle things about how this reality, this living physical planet that is creation manifest, is and does as itself as life. Yet, English is the religion that is manipulating this reality today. In so many ways, it is actually a small thing. When one becomes more a master of it, like a computer desk top that is well organized, there opens up the space to be more present within and as the moving parts because one is not having to think about the language and at the same time  one is having an orderly means to define the moving parts of an overused imagination tied to value judgements and memory-like dramatic playouts within one’s mind as an energetic storm causing separation from being present, equal and one to this reality that is physical and is creation manifest.

It is time to live the grace of life here. 

Day 840 Our #words determine our #focus.

One of the things I notice more this week is the words used. It is something we all know. How often to we cross reference and really check in on how we are using our words, what the words are, the tension of ease or FOCUS as form of the words we speak - each and every little part and movement. Does not a painter practice the lines and measure and color, and shape and movement of a line of paint? And, master that to the point a “ master piece “ is created? Does not a musician practice every subtle movement to the smallest degree to the extent it is in that mastery of that tiniest of movements that suddenly a whole world of possibility in creating a sound opens up? The thing about SOUND, as the words we speak, it is like a physical thing, a musical thing and a visual thing! And the forming of ourselves will be determined by the sounds we make, the silent ones inside us and the ones we allow to focus us, and the ones we speak - as a response to all of this. 

If you are having to THINK about what word to use, because you cannot yet SPELL the words, and have a security in and with the words - because you have never really practiced your words - how are you going to be able to use CARE with your words? Are your words running away with you, in some form of AUTOMATION? We tend to automate what we practice. Thus, if we practiced without real specificity and focus, we become that lack of specificity and focus. Scary but also a great means to an amazing end? Like how we work is specific because it lets us know we are amazing and can master things! Deeply KNOW that, find it, and change your practices. 

We need only look at the media to see how specific what we practice is and does. It is a system of half truths and a lot of drama. We can get so caught up on that, we cannot see the means to the end. It is like we are riding a tide and it has control when we are the essence of that tide, and as such, can determine the tide. When we  realize we are the tide, we rejoice in all the other water molecules that are there with us, expressing creation as a movement of life. It would not appear so if one were caught in the tide. It would appear to be something that is impossible, because that is the nature of being caught in the tide and being in a contrast of loss as forgetting that one is the tide itself. Scattered thinking and a fractionalized focus would cause that perspective. And yet, what is enabling that experience but the physical body one is within, that body that when no longer functioning, removes the ability to be tossed about by the tide. Would being that which moves the tide, as expresses and forms real movement be something that is more eternal ? 

I was chatting with someone this week and within a pause they turned and talked to another person in their space. The immediate response towards that other person was a frame of “ don’t do that.”  That  is an accusative statement, and an end-game statement. It simply shuts things down and leads to a moment of confusion because it is a subtle shock- in a way.  It simply stops things and then one is left hanging. We supposed, or assume so much. Perhaps the person did not know what they were doing, or about to do, and someone caught it. Something like “ watch out” might be better, and less shocking, if it had to be said quickly. “ Watch out” lends itself to “ look here”, or “ watch out for that.” This lends itself to follow through, to a movement that lends a continued generation of expression. The “ don’t do this or that” is a form that suddenly stops things, without any further focus. One is left standing in “ stop.” Of course there are moments when one would use simply “ stop” and then clarify. There are moments when a strong stop is necessary. I would imagine they are not too often. 

I have studied with someone who had mastered something. One of the things I learned and experienced, was when they said something of few words, and they were so clear a whole world opened up.  I want to say that I as the listener had also done my own work. It is that self generation to the extent there is self momentum when meeting someone who has mastered something that one is working on mastering, that master has a really clear intent, or inner “ knowing” from experience. It is like the key of me, and the key of them, meet. 

The same thing happens with emotional/feeling bodies, or value judgement self definitions that are protections from real mastery of self, or that which limits self responsibility in becoming a master with clear intent.  In the reverse, we play memory match, we seek those who have the same self sabotage system of holding onto emotional experiences that have not been cleared, which we master and comes to direct us, so we seek another human who has that same signature - we are riding a wave of ideas and opinions and beliefs, we are absent from being present and being the wave itself. This can be heard in the very sounds made and the words chosen. It is like playing at half mast. The quality of the sound is diminished, it has a muffled sound to it. And it is subtle. Perhaps not too subtle. It is just that it has become so normalized that the difference is ignored. It is like we are fish acclimated to polluted water and we believe that is how it is because that is all we have ever known. Imagine that fish when it suddenly meets clear, pristine and pure water? it will wonder how it ever believed the other could ever have existed. 

It is the same within realizing that poverty and starvation should not exist. In tandem with realizing how one is as the words one speaks, as one’s VOCAbulary, should one really begin to work on every sound coming from their body - even the ones that are silent within, or cannot be heard by others as we assume - should one begin to rebuild them and really know them the difference is similar to the experience of that polluted water and that pure water. One will begin to wonder how one ever could have assumed that dirty water was normal. 

Is it possible to realize that the media news flow today is very polluted? Imagine what a “ clean” media would be and do, the potential for such as that to support what is best? What if we heard the living natural world more, that which is around us? 

The quality of “ hey, look at this and look at that” with a smile is very very different than a “ don’t do that!” or a “ don’t do this!” with no explanation of correction, or a correction filled with contempt and frustration and impatience. The difference would create two very different people, or adults in this reality. Most of those with success have more of the first and less of the second. This is known in the research into language development. Neurons that fire together wire together.  Forming these responses and expressions with the body will determine the very slant of your eye, or the pressure in your back, or the pain in your legs. One fits into creation and the other does not.  We have simply suppressed looking and mastered that ignoring of how this all works. It is, overall, a crime against life to ignore life. It is an abdication of self as life.  What do we think this would do to our health? 

The irony is that it is so much more fun to be able to be the creator, to be in clear waters, to lend direction because in so doing we are in discovery mode, we are in awe, we are in connection. The difference is being in a murky shadow and being in clear air. One breeds more fear and apprehension and the other breeds more clarity and presence. 

I realize the moment I go into confusion, I am no longer clear. A lot of my confusion causes me to become more apprehensive and then I make things up to hide the difference. Then I tend to avoid some to seek out those with whom I do not feel the threat of looking at the confusion I have not YET resolved, and that has become a program from repeated practice. As has been said, it takes more time to correct something than to have done it correctly from the start. I had to learn this from playing the violin, because in this world, at least with something like that, it becomes obvious very quickly because the demand to self generate in the medium does not allow one to hide. If one does not play, one cannot move forward. The medium does not allow a pause in time. It simply must be done. If one does not do it, others in the medium are left standing. And, one can very easily be replaced. 

The difference within using words happened this week. I talked with someone that had a nice resume. When I met with them, their English was not very good. They knew this too and did explain the difference. What I noticed, is my own entrenched “ politeness.” I was “ thinking “ this when the person explained that difference. They had studied English in a school in a foreign country and could write it, but speaking it was another thing. It is like our public schooling system; we memorize set bodies of information absent of application. When we then go out into the world we feel at a loss, we feel like we do not know something. We realize we have a very rudimentary understanding that lacks application so we do not really know how to self direct. That is a form and a function meant to dumb us down because at present we have a resource acquisition game going on - one that is a false paradigm. The physical cannot be owned, it is something that we use a principle with. That principle is a fundamental nature of life. It is to take the good and give as one would receive and do no harm. 

When we use our words in ways that are end games and of accusative intensity, we shut down real doing and discovery. When we use words such as “ hey, look at this,” or “ lets see what happens when we do this,” we maintain a flow of discovery with constructive direction. That practices real movement and self direction in relation to how this physical reality works and moves. The other leads to a state of confusion and interruption of real movement. If we are in an environment, in our developmental years, where we are only allowed to remain in a set body of “ spells” that are but shadows of things, we become that, and spend the rest of our lives attempting to remove that “ spell.” All the while, those who desire to play a false god, grab the resources of the physical - something that cannot ever be owned so this paradigm overall is a false and destructive one. Yet, what is created as a system is created by each of us, and it is recognizable in the very sounds coming from within our bodies. Thus, by default, we are the creators of the present system within and as how we focus our bodies and generate the very sounds we make as the words we speak. 

We begin to clean up that, and like that fish that knew ONLY polluted and muddy water, we, when that water is clear and pure, will wonder why we ever believed that spell around us was believed to be something real. 

I would, for the life that is you, begin to forgive your accepted and allowed and self generated actions, through self forgiveness and self correction in writing. And, at the same time, practice your words, rebuild them to purify your own waters and come back down to earth. This is the means to becoming a master of self to realize and enjoy the smallest of movements because in knowing the smallest of things we are more able to respect the ordinary and live the extraordinary. 

When things are said with clarity, we tend to listen, because somewhere there is a part of us that “ knows.” We “ know” the difference between clear water and muddied water. We are attracted to clarity because it opens that self discovery which requires real seeing. We also must understand how we muddied the waters within and without, to ensure that we never ever get caught in the same problem. And like all problems, there are always solutions.