Showing posts with label ghost. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ghost. Show all posts

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Day 386 Paranoia of the Unknown: Associations within words creating the Unknown.


I was looking at my words today and noticed that I missed the word “ cocoa.” I noticed a voice in my head, as the word crazy. I did self forgiveness on this. Then this old television commercial I saw as a child came up - some might remember this: “ Kookoo for Cocoa Pops.” These are the words from the cereal commercial, here with me, a ghost of paranoise from my past, influencing the words I speak, creating a word with a past, and adding a relationship that is an association with the word, and thus idea, of “ crazy.” This is what we as humans have accepted and allowed. And we wonder why, as we get older the idiosyncrasies within our characters become more prominent, and we have a more difficult time interacting with others, and as this, remain limited within small circles of people, fearing to change.

This added association is a ghost in the machine, a projection, that is in effect insanity as it is separation from physical reality, an idea out of sync with here/reality where a cup is a cup, period. Thus one could say that what is placed as ads on television ( is, lol, as the words imply, ad ons) within a profit based system, is creating a cognitive dissonance, polluting the words within clear meanings as how the natural learning ability of the physical body picks up what is presented during childhood and that this is what remains: a pollution of associations carrying destructive meanings as the connotations - the notes in the chord as the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious- that become what we are, as what goes in is what comes out. Thus, we cannot blame the objects as life as the human for the behaviors of the human, as we have all accepted and allowed what is sounded here as words creating chords that are associations that create ghosts in the machine as the physical body that occupy our thoughts consuming ourselves as life and thus separating us from life here, from being equal and clear as life here.
So, when I see the word cocoa, the back chat as the memories brings up the word crazy, and I will have a reaction and no longer see here, as I will fear being considered crazy, as this is a potential threat that I will be cast out and excluded from the system and then I will not survive, as I will not be able to earn money and thus be able to be self responsible. I allow myself to be so caught up in this emotional storm that I can no longer see what is here in clarity. Obviously, this leads to a mess.
What delusions, as paranoise, as ghosts in the machine as mind as words with destructive meanings, do our so called “ leaders “ have that perpetuate an idea of them being a “ more than” another, when they are the same as you and me, physical bodies that require certain physical support to live in dignity?  Do they have certain ideas that living outside of the nap of luxury, of excessive luxury, means that they will become some idea of a “ less than”? All of this absurd as this earth in totality can be a heaven on earth, where every part is cared for, living in full potential, where no matter where we go, we are surrounded by life in expression as life? 
The pollution we have all accepted and allowed begins with the smallest units of ourselves, that point of nothing, of no-thing, to life. The associations that we learn as children, if not clear in meaning, if not understood, and within this, the way the physical body functions in mirroring its environment,  and that this leads to a ghost of paranoise of emotional values attached to the tools of communication as words, blinding us from seeing what is here, just as I could no longer see the word cocoa through the ghosts of the past within my mind as pictures and attendant emotions and feelings, based on a commercial and the experiences i have had in life that sometimes can be ideas presented in early family life, as stories told about relatives, that then become threatening within a survival based system, what happens to the behaviors of men? And can this actually be used for control?
And, if we look at our world, what is happening as the outflow of this? There are up to 200 species  becoming extinct every day. There are children being born with gross deformities. There are forests dying at unprecedented rates, these trees that produce the air we breath. Oxygen is depleting in our atmosphere of at most fear that is the behavior we have accepted and allowed on earth, a system of inequality to life, as life is not what is here on earth. What is here is destruction, the outflow of associations to values of more than and less than within our words, as we are the creators of what is here, thus we are to blame, each of us for what is here on earth. We are responsible to clean up this earth, to get this earth in an order that supports and respects all life. Life is the value.
And all of this started with an idea that was a separation from life, that one thing is more than another. Judgement. Were we not told to not judge? Have we not been told to become a living word? Is not being here, the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow mean being here, equal and one to and as life, forgiving of oneself as life, here?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from here, into and as becoming unknowning of here into and as idea in and as my mind, as a belief, as an association to an idea of being kookoo, which is a fear of survival which is a belief that one thing is more than another, the “ more than” actually creating a less than, as the polar opposite where a distortion of reality is what I allow myself to exist as not looking here at what is real as how the physical world functions in practical support as life, as life will life in all common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define cocoa within crazy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect cocoa to  the word crazy.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from the word cocoa and from crazy through defining the word cocoa within crazy in separation from myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the words as a memory from my past “ kookoo for cocoa puffs” in and as my mind, and to allow this to be associated with the word cocoa.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as a family story that was told to me as a child, where my great grandmother was considered crazy, and I associated myself with this because I was told that I looked just like her.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within being the same as associations made about others, as relatives from the past, as what i am here, based on an idea, where I was not there, physically there and actually do not know the whole story.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand this layered definition behind a word that I have accepted and allowed to define me, and thus become an idiosyncrasy within and as myself as what i am here, all based on ideas, as ghosts in and as myself, as paranoise where the words as the back chat in and as my mind define what i am, or so I believe, as I was not taught how the mind works as information network of no intrinsic value that takes in what is here, without judgement, as it is simply like a computer that is able to be programmed, and not understanding this, I become the program with all the associations and relationships that i use to define myself and thus which creates my character here, as a human, that is actually myself in separation from here moving, motivating myself as limited values, which is what has been created into a world system that is separate from actual real practical reality as a system of survival as profit based for a few which is destructive to life as it is the outward manifestation of what each of us is allowing and accepting within and as us as knowledge and information only without practical application.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within a system of inequality, a profit based system, where it is insane to believe that ownership of resource has any foundation as a support of life, as any resource on earth is a part of life, as is the human, thus to deny this for any person, to deny full potential development of anything here is a crime against life, absolutely.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that creating television commercials that suggest a state of being as ‘Kookoo” within a system of inequality - where a fear of survival exists- as idea as mind as picture as paranoia lacking any practical common sense of physical reality is to feed the insecurity that is the nature of existing within mind as pictures as ideas only as more of a reality than the physical world, this that has been accepted and allowed by each and everyone of us, including myself because I have existed as this as well, where layers of divisions as ideas are created in all aspects of our society, relationships and ideas related to more ideas, all as a mind, as consciousness, a disease from what is real, what supports us as the actual real physical world, and this existing for so long there was a separate “heaven” created, so vast was the separation from reality, where in existence there were all manner of ghosts which are all manifestations of our separation sometimes called by its “ rightful” name as being insane, which in effect it was, but the degree of separation from physical reality was so vast that what is not insane is the realization that the ghosts in the mechanisms of the physical were a misplaced creation of ourselves as life, a play-out of delusions of grandeur turned sour as what is the outcome of believing that one thing is more than another, as mind as idea only , as consciousness. 
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there are two problems not understood that must be realized on earth, that humans are instruments of life, if that instrument is not understood as mind, and not supported physically, behaviors of lack exist creating discord from life, which is what poverty, sexual abuse, animal abuse, environmental abuse is the consequence of as ignorance of physical functionality by design, as those in positions of comfort as lacking in equality with and as self as life are lost in paranoia/fear of loss of themselves as mind only as idea of more than, becoming only this, and busy fearing the competition through using governing bodies to ensure their continued comfort which is a separation from practical common sense of the actual physical world, a delusion so intent on itself as mind a separation from reality becomes a paranormal reality on earth for which we are all responsible and must stand and stop by becoming clear in standing and organizing a system that realizes the support of physical reality is valuing and respecting all life, this earth.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the present monetary system, as how money is being used, facilitates separation, buys commercial space to perpetuate a cognitive dis-sonance as mind, as consciousness in homage to an idea of one thing being more than another, this ideologue made huge as consciousness, in itself the separation from life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to want to look at what i am as mind, to understand the depression, the anxiety, the overwhelmingness I exist as, as being myself as mind only, as consciousness, where as I am in separation from the actual real physical world, the limited scenarios voiced as ideas in and as my mind cannot sustain me, and thus these separations as ideas become the paranoia, the paranoia of myself , my own accepted and allowed unknowingness, that personification that wants only happy postings on facebook, this character that fears itself as a self created unknown, believing ideas to be more than physical reality, and thus to stop the voices in and as mind as associations and relationships of measure of judgement to ensure survival it is to realize this as the separation, and to bring myself back to earth in practical common sense of the physical here, and within this to realize that the present system is an outward manifestation of what I exist as within, as myself as consciousness in separation from life.


Friday, November 9, 2012

Day 199 The ghost in the machine

I notice a character come up yesterday, making huge and being ghost like, an energetic expression of this failure belief, stuck in thoughts that there is no chance to “get through” to another, where I get stuck in this and go into bitterness and self blame, neither of which have anything to do with looking at what is here, realizing what is here, seeing the whole of what is here, as I stop within this emotion, as though emotion is a plug, a stop, a judgement, fixed, non moving, This seems to be a dominant issue with me. Even within the last days I realized that in baby pictures of myself I did not smile, and this was a comment often made about me in contrast to my twin sister, who was all smile in every baby picture.
A friend stopped by and was emotional about a change coming in their life. I realized they had built where they are in “doing the right thing “ in relation to their family situation. In relations with family.
We are all stuck within relations to family. This present system of inequality takes us into situations where we remain locked within family, to care for them, to needmoney for this, and then we remain so stuck in this and making a change where we realize our relationship obligations, built to ensure survival as being a support group. Again, it is not that this is good or bad, it is the forced use of this to define who we are. Think of a eulogy at a funeral; “ he was a good father, who went out and worked hard in his life to support his family, he was kind and gentle, always willing to listen. He loved gardening later in life, and grew many vegetables” or something life this. A funeral speech is about the past and what the person did, all wrapped up in a pretty picture. We hold memories more dear than life, and most of the time when we talk about this world and what is going on in our lives, it is a complaint about the system, as what “so and so did” or what is happening within the movement or non movement as this present system. Yet, when we talk about memories - or old times it is really the same. Only complaining about what exists and escaping into another “good” time. Nostalgia as entertainment. If we are running around complaining and alternately being nostalgic, the negative and the positive, all being of self in distance to what is actually here, really stopping and looking at the form of the structure of the present system and the consequences there of. I mean why are we being, and or needing, nostalgia? And why are we distancing ourselves from not looking at the totality of the present monetary system when we have even one complaint? This is why the parts are not Bad or good as themselves, being a good father is not bad, it is being this without realizing the totality of this system, it is making the fears of survival huge, it is making fear huge and hiding it behind limited personifications. Just look at the limited characters in movies and media expressing sex and power play, but no real expression, as varied as what exists within a handful of soil. One could say it is the lack of variation that is becoming the death of life.
Both things are based on a fear of a loss of self, one monetarily and the other for an idea of a “better time” or an e-motion - as a feeling of some kind of meaning as idea that in contrast to the more negative emotion seems like a relief - and it is really just a memory, like we are placated by a ghost of the past, and that ghost of the past as memory, is based on an idea of something “good”in relation to what is here that is frustrating. Like a movie within a movie within a movie, where each consecutive movie/story is watered down to a more limited picture; this being a propagated inner division of self as insight, and the layers of this consume until one dies looking like a dried up piece of dead skin. Which is in effect what happens to the human. And it is happening to the earth too.
This is why there can only be here, as here is what exists can be seen, the actual structure of this present monetary system, here is where self expresses self, interacts and deals with. Complaining is looking at a part only, the immediate one that is scared being here and able to take care of oneself as life, where the immediate person or “law” determines movement. This physical world is the real movie - so to speak- it is the gift of physical play. The mind is the separation, is the illusion and it has become so big, we believe it to be real.
Is the past going to change this system? The form of the present system is here, and it is not supporting life. Addiction to the past as memories as nostalgia is not going to see HERE. The morality of supporting family only is not going to see here.
So this character that game up, this ghost like presence as an emotion, based on past events of belief that some kind of failure existed, and if I look these failures are based on self interest, as an idea of wanting to win- even within being a savior - as in believing something was lost in translation, meaning communication, where I feel bitter that I was not understood, and if I look within this ghost and the story it cries it is lost in a little tiny “pixilated” judgement, which is why it is so thin and ghost like. It must be brought back to self to look at what is here and to see the total consequences of this system and realize that one can move, in and as a physical being here, direction as in looking at what is here can exist. Thus investigating this system and how it functions can exist. That drama on television will exite frustration and then get nostalgic in terms of a feel good seeming resolution, but it is only a ghost life movement of resolution and not an actual physical structure of resolution in totality. It is like candy for the mind, moving from the negative as emotion to the positive as feeling. All within a morality in separation from this actual physical world. Why would a system of inequality present anything on a television that would actually stop frustrations and abuse on this earth? Or even show what is happening? It would not.
The people carry the debt and the risk, the private sector gets the profits. Insanity. And war, a tool of conflict and friction creation is a supposed economic mover. Yes, in relation to allowing a private sector conquest and control resource, and placing the burden on the non owners as the people.
This ghost of mine is a storm in a teacup, and war on earth is the storm on this earth, this grabbing /raping of resource where self as life is not faced as what is real, and physically here, able to learn and understand this physical world, able to share what is here to support life. It really is such a “thin” thing to walk through and understand, it is only the fears made huge that seem real, but they are not.
So, with my ghost friend I must realize that it is the servant to this system of inequality that limits insight into and as life, as what I have accepted and allowed in fear of loss without any real development within understanding here in totality, where as a child what surrounded me was the same, and thus there was no place to go but into the storm. to take on the ghost of a morality in separation from realizing this physical world is real, that life is the value and that inequality with life as the value is built of ideas, opinions and beliefs in service to ignorance of life, these ideas being that one “cell” as one human can control this physical world, where in fact it is a collection of cells that built the structure of this physical world, and it is these cells that work in tandem that create this actual physical world. Thus there is no more than and less than, there is only here, where not one part rules, as all parts are simply an expression of themselves as life, as a form of life.
So my little “friend” as my ghost, as my demon, carrying self pitying emotions and placating feelings which are from the same starting point of separation must “grow up” into the tree of life as myself as the physical to be here , brought back to here, as self here, to realize life here. Breathing, in and as this physical body, to remain here.
This is my within separation from what is actually physically here, my own survival persona, and the present system of war as economic motivator is this without. There is no need for war, for destruction between the cells of this earth as the human, it is unnecessary and unacceptable, what is here is to support life, to allow life. This war driven economy is not based on what earth is as an eco system of life, sharing, working together, realizing all cells are equal in that they are life, and that in order for this earth to function all must work/be/express as what they are, and in being this, life will be supported. The answer, in all simplicity is right in front of us as what we are.
Forgiveness of this character of futility will follow.