Showing posts with label soldier. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soldier. Show all posts

Monday, August 13, 2012

Day 117 Jury duty of soldier duty? My annoyance character


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the character of annoyance because I have jury duty starting today.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have conversations in and as my mind about people and what I will face in having jury duty.
I forgive myself for not wanting to have jury duty because I had jury duty in the last ten years and it was not pleasant having to listen to all the things people do to one another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not want to look at what people do to one another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be annoyed that I have to drive, 45 minutes away in the summer where I am that is filled with summer vacationers so the drive is going to take even longer.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not want to face the slippery snake of the mind in others going from the personal to the collective, utilizing the personal or the collective singularities when it works for the individual in self interest not realizing that the personal, as the individual, as the self, is actually one and the same as the collective, thus moving from one to the other is a relationship in separation from what is best for all, and only using a part to support and justify not having to look at the totality of what has been accepted and allowed within a system of inequality.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this annoyance character is my self in righteous anger and thus my self in fear, which is my self not wanting to stand up and thus myself wanting to blame instead of directing myself within and as what is best for all, as what is eternal, as what seems bottomless is in fact support of life, is what is constant, is what allow breath, is what is real and expressing and being, is what is absolutely directive and considerate, thus anger is a label of fear within and as myself being superior and believing others inferior, as others are themselves in fear, or rather in-fear- ior to what is best for all, to life, to themselves as life, which is here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that this character of annoyance is myself in and as a belief of my own individuality as in in -divid-duality where I am either the “personal” or the “collective” and not in consideration that the personal and the collective are one and the same, where the collective is seen as the laws and the individual is seen as needing to caretake of its emotions and feelings as being hurt or ignored, when the real ignorance is not realizing that the emotions and the feelings as the response as the thought, are reactive and protection defense mechanisms to maintain the ignoring of what is self as life, as self as what is best for all as a realization that the very system keeping to two seemingly divided, and thus a system in and as division, as a system of inequality that does not support life but maintains fear, is the very structure allowed and accepted on this earth that does not value the gift of life as what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to realize that these accepted mirages of division are small and that the eternal is huge and able to support all these accepted and allowed divisions of perception, a perception that, as the back chat of my mind has just replied as … “ we do not know” and or “ I am doing my best” and or “ I can’t do anything about that” - as they switch from the collective to the personal, a slippery snake of no self responsibility to and towards life into and as non-looking behaviors.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the object and to not simply stop and breath, to not allow myself to go into righteous anger as this is the same action and not myself in self honesty as the people saying this are me in another life, which is not to accept this behavior but to answer within and as breath in the moment, thus if I have a reaction in and as my self in and as the rising of my character of annoyance I stop and I breath and I realize I, as myself, am going into fear and reaction within fear as wanting to blame and to spite and to label this person as an object of  ignorance, which in a sense they are, but it is the being of self within this character as focus as being, this allowance as an action that is in separation from looking at the whole at what is here, as realizing the collective and the personal as they exist are walls around a system and an individual as a survival suit of protection and defense within a system of inequality that does not support life, where the tool as the mind has been turned into and as a soldier for the system and not the being of the person as what is here, in and as the expression of themselves as life, no common sense of the totality of self as being one and equal to life, the value, and thus this being of self turns the human physical body into a battery for this protection/defense character, meaning care actor for a system of inequality, where the human physical body grows old and dysfunctional as it can no longer support the walls of defense as the wall of not looking at what is the real value, which is life.



I commit myself to breathing.
I commit myself to remaining in and as breath.
I commit myself to stop the energetic movements in and as myself that are of the annoyance character, to stop myself from separation/dividing myself from life here, from learning to stand as what is best for all without fear.
I commit myself to realizing that I am learning to play myself as an instrument of life, and thus I must first learn to walk and know how my human physical body functions and how the different qualities as the manifestation of substance as sound exist within and as myself as my human physical body, as my gift as my instrument as life, function in specific detail.
I commit myself to breathing and realizing all the characters I have accepted and allowed as my protection/defense mechanisms as what has been taught to create a soldier for a system of inequality and thus separation from life.
I am here
I am breath
I realize that nothing can touch me unless I accept and allow this, as I am life here in and as breath, where breath is myself singing as life in equality and oneness here where I lay down my “arms” as my thoughts, emotions and feelings as the indicators and supporters of ignoring life as the gift as the value, where there can be no real life until all that is here, that is me, is standing in equality and oneness in and as life here.


Thursday, June 21, 2012

Day 67 significance to the insignificance



I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to give significance to the insignificance
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make the one ankle more significance than another ankle
I forgive myself  for allowing and accepting myself to give significance to the form of one human body over another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that one person is more significant than another, instead of realizing that the significance is being here, being life, where I keep going as life, to learn that the significance is life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that a soldier commits suicide every day as they are men paying homage to what is insignificant and thus see no value in life, as the value of themselves as life has been made to support the profit of a few instead of what is real, life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that a profit based system is the very manifestation of giving significance to the insignificant  that which causes weighing and measuring as object instead of directing as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the significance placed on the physical as having values of more than and less than is to be separate from self as directing self as life, where the significance is being directive as life within the principle of what is best for all, one and equal to realizing the significance is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place value on knowledge and information to read to gather knowledge and information, like a computer, so I can spew knowledge and information, which is dis-placing myself from directing myself with significance as life and allowing myself to place significance on knowledge and information to appear to be infomr-ed, aligned with  a presentation of myself to fit into a picture presentation , as idea, as belief, as desire to appear to fit into a hierarchy above other qualities, where this qualifying is separating myself form the equality of the total composition of what is here, which is all the substance of what is significant which is life, and within this allowing myself to be what is the movement of myself as life one and equal, this being what is significance, where there is no need to judge.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hate myself for not having realized that what is significant is to keep going, through all the signs of the mind as the labels and the back chat, the weighing and measuring, until I catch myself realizing that the significance is being here, being life, directing myself as life, where finally the mind stops and I become the gift of life which is  being here, directing myself as life, and thus is the mind a mirage that has possessed and obsessed focus onto in-sign-ficance ( financing the signs of capitalism )  and not  being myself  as what is significant, meaning life aligned assignment, meaning assigning myself life as the principle of what is best for all, as give as I would like to receive, as what i am that is significant,  where within this the present system here on this earth is an absolute travesty as it separates the human away from self as life, yet this has been developed and built by the annecs of the mind doting on weighing and measuring objects , stagnant, instead of directing and moving and being an expression in and as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize how stagnant I allow myself to be when I allow ideas, beliefs and opinions according to class, culture, race, nationality, to be the borders of myself , when these borders are what I allow to stop the movement of myself as life,  making the sign, as label huge when the sign as label is insignificance and what is real is myself here as an expression of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize there is no rejection, as rejection is simply having allowed myself to move as label, as having moved myself as what is insignificant - the label as what I believed as desire, an energetic short lived wisp in the wind- that is as its short lived nature telling me that I am separate from myself directing myself as life, as what is constant and directive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the trap of the mind, the label maker, where this trap of the mind is the action of separation, this that measures and weighs, labels and collects as knowledge and information, so busy “computing” that what is significant is missed, self here, as life, realizing the value is self as life,  being HERE one and equal as what self is here as life, directing within the principle of oneness in equality.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that so many supposed failures are that one did not just keep going, but instead stopped going, where the keep going leads to realizing that the voices in the head that were of “ stop” were fear and thus insignificant, within this, I realize that all the billions of humans and animals and plants on this earth have had taken away from them what is needed to sustain life, what was given to sustain life unconditionally by this earth, have been ripped out from under to support that which is insignificant which is the values propagated by this system of profit to feed the desires of more than and less than of a few, who are themselves caught in allowing the insignificant significance to such an extent, they can no longer direct themselves as life, and thus never live, and thus reap what they sow, which is the self rape of their human physical bodies into a death of no significance, of no transcendence of life, as their beliefs and desires based on object have been made so huge, they are unable to pass through the eye of the needle into what is eternal, as the values of the mind, reflected in the present accepted and allowed system are made too big and thus will not fit through this eye of a needle  into that which is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use knowledge and information to say what I mean,
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to - lol- find this mind blowing, I mean what the fuck are we doing?

I commit myself to keep going.
When and as I find myself giving significance to the insignificant I STOP AND I BREATH, I do not allow myself to give significance to the insignificant, as within this I allow starvation and animal confinement, I allow soil devastation, I allow deforestation, I allow rape, I allow fear, I allow anger, I allow inflow as mind and not outflow as life, where I am life one and equal as life here, directing myself with in an absolute purpose as life in oneness and equality as life here.
I commit myself to stopping the giving of significance to the insignificant as what the wants, needs, desires, beliefs, opinions and ideas of the mind as what this is is know -ledge and in-form -ation of what is propagated and sould as a mind consciousness system one and equal to what is propagated and sould by a system allowed and accepted on this earth that places a hierarchy of separation on what is unconditionally given , the support of what is significant , life, here.

It is time to clean up the mind , to fit earth through the eye of the needle through establishing a system of equality and