Day 825 The behavior of a millennial

I am reading a book about millienials.

One of the first descriptions was an example of behavior.

It was said that when a millennial meets another person who has not yet seen a movie the millennial has seen, the millennial gets anxious. A millennial will get angry when someone has not seen a movie that they, the millennial has seen. 

This indicates that they cannot place the essence of the message of the movie into some common universal terms. They cannot take the movements expressed in the movie apart and apply that movement into some universal common sense about life no matter the scenario. Their ability to share experience is dependent on movie stories. This is like living in a dream, in an inner picture show, with no capacity to translate it into this reality. That they become impatient and anxious based on reacting to someone lacking their “ text book” movie,  means the movie has become their religion, something they rely on, something that binds them, something that directs them.

Religion means to “ tie up,” to bind. They are bound to a movie, a constructed picture, one that has time frames that are not equal in practical common sense to living in a physical reality. It is ( and not “ like”)  living in an alternate reality. It is living in a fantastic picture show instead of living here, in reality. 

It indicates a complete loss of critical and creative thinking. The anxious reaction is a loss of what is defining them. What is defining them is a memory of a very narrow focus and practice. There is no ability to apply timed sequences of another mode, to the living mode as the actual physical reality that is where that body, that human being, is becoming a behavior of anxiousness. That body as a physical body on a physical planet. The inner movement and expression is moving at one mode of timing as information and experience and ONLY knows that. 

Translating that into another mode, as the living reality, is absent. Meaning, it  has not been practiced; there is an absence of practical application in reality. This indicates that many of the millennials, have grown up in a reality that is of instant gratification, that moves in sequences of information, most probably centered around media. That media, is a me-DIA, my god, my religion, what I have practiced! It has no timing and sequence relative to the living physical reality. It indicates that though their within is “ of a sequence” causing separation as that behavior of becoming anxious when one’s text book is out of synch with the practical reality. Their within measure is not equal to reality. That inner spin becomes anxiety. Meanwhile their bodies that exist within as anxiety, remain. They are still here. That physical reality was here before this anxious spin of limited measure. And yet, their bodies remain.

I mean, within the law of compounding effects where one’s actions create the equal and opposite results, what happens if one has a religion of media, indicating an absence of practical living, causing an inner emotional turmoil of anxiety, separating one from being grounded and practical as being able to relate information to reality as critical and creative thinking?  Would not such a state of stagnant movement, that is a state of separation from reality, simply increase anxiety? 

What happens when that anxiety compounds over time? As the equal and opposite effect? 

If one takes a liter of water and holds it with an extended arm for ten minutes, it does not cause pain. What if one held it for 10 hours, or for ten years? 

It would become very very painful! Would that be a state of being tied to something, like the word religion suggests? 

What happens to a body that holds anxiety over ten years, or even twenty years? 

Can we blame anyone for what we have allowed?

Can someone else deconstruct what is allowed within, and accumulates through the law of compounding effects within one physical body? 

No.

Is is only the self, as one, as one’s body that can deconstruct such allowances and stand equal and one to that, to then rebuild. And, one must relate to the practical physical reality to then become as that innocence of a child, that ability to learn and process things efficiently and with ease. That child does not yet have that degree of reaction as anxiety. They have not yet practiced it, even though they may have some generational programming being triggered by daily events. 

If we begin to understand how all of this works, which is very practical, we can realize that we cannot trust our memories or what is within us. The only choice  is to begin to relate to what is real and constant. What is constant is the physical. Even with our media, that uses the physical reality to project its limited stories that end up stagnating an inner natural ability to process information are not what is living and real, that is us, and that is all around us as the physical. There is only one reality of information and that is the physical. 

In research in reading skills, an effective vocabulary builds success. One's words are more equal to practical reality. One's ability to then process information can change time frames, dimensions, space and timing, to then be able to relate information to changing scenarios. One would then also be more able to read what is moving within one's body and at the same time, process what is around one as this living reality. It is like playing an instrument, where one plays the timing and sequence of Mozart, and then changes in a moment, to the timing and sequence of say, Brahms. Though questioning one's self about this may initially appear difficult, in the end it is AWESOME, because it means we are life, we are meant to be fluid, and that we can understand complex systems. In this world, to reframe ourselves, to equalize our within to the without, we can use words to rebuild, to deconstruct, to ground ourselves in this living reality. Anxiousness is a gift to show us where we are out of synch with life! 

Day 824 Hiding in the Fantastic

Within the practice of slowing down and checking what is happening within me, just as I would do when playing the violin, I begin to accelerate in my ability to call what I am within myself in moments here, as who and what I am as a physical state of being in a system that is a web of ideas, beliefs and opinions in separation from consideration of all things, as this living breathing, physical reality that is creation manifest. There is a reason why it was said to bring heaven down to earth. It was not said to bring self to heaven - unless, as happens within written constructions - this is somehow turned around and spun/spelled into the opposite, then repeated again and again, until the entity begins to repeat what is within, thinking it to be real- being hypnotized by a resonant inner construct ( that may settle in one’s knees, stiffening them!) . So it is within what we allow and accept, when lacking in being present and cognizant of this reality as being no more or no less that who and what we are here. We are physical. 

I realize that I grew up in an extremely emotional home, well, as we all did most likely. In practicing catching myself within what I am standing within, I begin to see how hypnotic and automated my actions are, to a greater degree - subtle yet astounding! There are many moments of,” of shit! “ why did I not see this, as another layer unfolds to be addressed, assessed, redefined, reconfigured and resolved, only to show up again in another degree of subtlety. 

I must use the practical. It is similar to writing out a list of things to do, to get done, to structure a more disciplined action and to keep me focused on the tasks at hand. Within such structuring, other behaviors, such as procrastination, become more obvious.  Also, taking time every day to practice words, is necessary. On many dimensions, taking the time to practice words is a practice that is self stepping outside of self, to take a moment to look at the small things that enable one to see the parts of the more complex. This in turn improves one ability to process. 

In time, this moves in a more accelerated way. It is the same movement when one takes on any discipline and practices the small, to be able to expedite processing of the small, to realize the more complex. 

This is moving up through the symbol that represents this as the triangle, or the “ A “ that begins the Alpha- bet. We begin within the general, or building in the small parts and moving up through the point into mastery, as grace and equality with the given thing mastered. 

The magic is in the doing of the thing. AND, when we do this, it becomes easier to realize other things, because one knows the sequences and recognizes patterns, as the order of operations towards real building of understanding. Therefore, one could say, in confidence, that if one is stuck in automated mis-practice, one must return to the basics and rebuild - YET, it most likely will not take as long, even though to have learned something correctly in the first place would not take as long. 

And, if we look around, at the state of this reality, with the degree of animal extinction, or the increasing pollution, it becomes more and more obvious that such outcomes were lacking in consideration of all things, and treating this living breathing earth as a resource from a starting point within an already beLIEved state of separation - where the composition of that resonant ghost became a “ more.”   This is abuse;  our outcomes reveal that this is the opposite of reality. This resource called earth we cannot live without- it is us within who and what we are. It is not something to label as inadequate, believing one’s hypnotic projection that is initiated because of fear, as one has lost one’s self as life. That is ego, that is believing that what has resonantly accumulated within as belief, opinions and ideas, is just that; it is a practice lacking in real mastery of self. One ONLY sees the institution as state-of-being as the conditioned  pyramid scheme - a warped or ever-so-slightly polarized interpretation of the very means of self mastery and a general symbol that represents an order of operations as to how we move into expanding our awareness to become masters of life and living heaven on earth. 

Such small changes, as mis-takes accumulate to become that elephant in the room, resonant within, yet unequal and “ floating like a shadow-web just above that which is real, as this physical earth. This resonates through all things, leading to extinction and back into no-thingness. We see this happening around us. It will accelerate in its compounding. I sometimes think this earth is shrinking- which is the real cause of the weather changes and why there is no real consensus. We have not yet realized what we are doing. 

We are meant to be creators, and it is all practical and in plain sight. Of course, this will cause one’s experience to scream, because we can ONLY speak of what we have practiced. What we have repeated again and again and again, layers within us, and we become masters of our practices, our acceptances and allowances! It is a beautiful design, because it shows us where we are at. That is life expressing itself, showing us the way! Very very cool!

I can more understand at this point, why Christ had said, “ forgive them for they know not what they do.”  In itself, one cannot stand and say ONLY this in the face of that limited belief system that is of protection and defense because we are unhappy when we are out of synch with living and expressing ourselves as creators. Yes, one must FOR GIVE what directs towards self realization as life! Yet, within that state of separation, one’s processing speeds are ironically moving so fast as that resonant story that in itself is of so little real substance it is simultaneously moving in slow motion! Appears contradictory. We are too used to thin-king in a limited dimensional picture show that a quantum measure appears too complex. But, in reality, we all have moments where we get a glimpse through the cracks and what is more natural slips through. Within myself that shear frustration an anger, from existing within and as fear, as reaction, spills its SPELLS out within me. I have to breath, slow down and re-member myself here, as life, which is physical. When I notice a compounded belief, as a resistance, creating a relationship of separation within me, I have to stop, realize the storm of beliefs, opinions and ideas, and - lol- do that very thing I fear doing, that very thing I hesitate doing! I have to also had practiced that one-step-at-a-time movement. 

I have to forgive myself for not living that “ forgive them for they know not what they do,” AND simultaneously process what is here, and what I have allowed and what would be a movement, as an expression within me, as the equal consideration of all things to choose what is best for all! This means not ONLY being that sympathy BUT ALSO the focus of resolution. What is eternal cannot be lost. Ironically this is usually more simple than juggling this HUGE hypnotic/practiced/conditioned shadow of polarized as ever-so-slightly-warped-but-compounded state of separation!  I can realize where within all these movements how much I have practiced constriction in my chest. How much I have held my breath, in suppression of myself! How much I go into a state of petrification! It is astounding! 

We are abusing absolute potential. And, within that, we are not considering others. We must realize we can do not harm. NONE. 

Day 823 Process of Elimination

I realize how dimensionally deep in my physical body is what I have accepted and allowed to define who and what I am to yet another degree! 

It is with hindsight. It is sudden little things that reveal this to me.

One is moving from one living space to another. There exists a deep desire to have a space of one’s own, as four walls, as a little cave like spot where one can sit in silence and as a supposed NEED to remain calm for a moment, thereby creating- because we are creators- a bubble where one has the space to “ hide” from the world.  I mean why?  This is an admission of separation. But from what?

Another is asking myself why I am seeking instead of creating? Creation, from my perspective means understanding what is here and working with it to build something. Why? Because it is actually fun to build something. It lets one know where one is at in some ways. This in its nature requires changing focus.

I remember reading a political periodical every week from front to back for three years. I then noticed that when meeting others, that I was beginning to become pretty intense in my responses in regards to my feed back in relation to things being said in conversations about what was happening on the political stage. For me the political stage is discussion about how things are being used and created. For example, use of earth’s resources and management of said resources. I looked at my behavior. This more and more angry response was somehow not a solution. Though I did not know where to go, that increasingly frustrated way of responding was not the place to go.

The first time I used this process-of elimination in relation to my behavior, was in high school. I went to high school in NYC. I was involved in the modeling world. There were A LOT of drugs. One spring, I had used valium on the weekends. One late Spring night a valium was again handed to me. I remember that moment of seeing that valium in the palm of that hand and internally saying to myself, “ Is this where I want to go?” The answer was no. This was not what I wanted to be. I got up off the car on that warm spring evening, on the street, in NYC, and walked away and never looked back. I did not know where to go, I just knew that was not the place I wanted to go. I could say, that was not the answer as the place to go. This being a state of being. 

Thus, why, in this changing living space movement that I am now within am I reminded of the need to have that private stable “ cave” “ space”? 

I made decisions in a moment, in both those scenarios above in living time, where I was not in my own personal “safe”-by-belief-cave-like-”private”-space? ! 

As I sat down in one of the two spaces that constituted the change, this “ feeling” that was like a longing for that sense of “ my” space came up. It has the color of wanting to be grounded, that is associated to that IDEA! And yet, my own life tells me I need not be in such a space to make a decision and the necessary ACTIONS/ movements to move myself! Why have that thought-of/ resonant-sense-of that “ need”? What is the point? 

Just as I had polarized my beliefs from reading a periodical for three years, front to back every week, I had programmed myself with this idea that I needed this “ safe,” stable,” space that “ felt” constant in order to sit and what? Clear myself? This is in opposition to other experiences in my life where I made decisions in a moment and changed! This would mean that the idea of a “ safe” space is really an illusion and something that I built as an idea, within me, that has become a resonant “ back-chat” coming from my physical body! It is not real, it may have a singular truth in this present system, but it is not real AND it flies in the face of what has been actual in my life! 

I think we all do this. This is not some “ special” thing or some “ mind-blowing” revelation. It is, simply, how we work revealing itself to us! That is really cool. It shows how much of a creator we really are, and how we do learn. What if we could realize this at a much younger age? 

I will speak more on this. For me, it has something to do with processing information. AND, how we are not taught this, we discover what we most likely already KNEW as children. I mean, if I can realize in time, that reading a periodical front to back was causing me to become righteous in certain scenarios, simultaneously realizing that that polarized emotional fire-ball was not the answer, then on some very very basic level, I KNOW that something is somehow - as that process of elimination - not quite the place to go! 

I mean, look at what is called “ logistical fallacies.” They describe how conversations can polarize through distraction. There are all manner of ways to change up space and time, to DISTRACT one from what is that same sense of knowing on some level -that taking a certain direction is simply not the place to go. Everything is here for us. We need only listen to that voice that understands something is becoming very polarized and that that behavior is not-the-place-to-go!

Just as I created that deep and subtle resonant form of pictures, words, values that comes up in a moment within me, I must reform it. No one can do this for me but myself. I am a creator, as are we all. I cannot really become that creator without each and every one that is here on this earth as well. Why? Because you define me, I define you, we define who and what we are as a whole as this physical creation. 

One can create , as pulling on the stuff of the substance of matter, imagery that appears to be so real. Yet, it has no staying power, and/or one cannot remember how one created that. One can have something suddenly appear in front of one, and believe it to be so real. Yet it does not stay. It reminds me of GMO seeds. They have to be, in my understanding, regenerated in a lab every year. My understanding is, that they cannot regenerate in the plant itself as that seed ( a time-line of events rolled up into a ball) will in “ earth” time slowing change/bounce-back into what is more harmonious/balanced. This sense of “ needing” a “ safe” space to “ think” or be alone is an illusion.   That slowing down and making decisions can be made in the storm, on the street, during a conversation, in any one moment. It can begin with that PROCESS of elimination as “ this is not where I want to go,” “ this is not what I want to be as somehow this is not real creation.” 

To begin to realize and see this overall, one must develop processing-of-information skills- as looking at moments overall and what is the qualities defining as focusing that moment into an experience. Language ( calling things by name as measure) can structure the mind, to the extent one can more-readily ( lol READ) catch that part of self that can sense when one is becoming more polarized and moving into those heavy conflicting situations of becoming more righteous, or seeking some kind of escape, or just going along to get along despite warning signs. 

And why? Because, somehow, that is simply not the place to go. I think we all know this because we are essentially like that seed. Life will, this means who and what is the self within, will move towards what that seed moves towards, to what is self generating and harmonious.  To move out of harmony is to move towards destruction. One must stand more in what is constant and does not have that sense of “ this is not a place to go” and realize that stability is always within the self because the real nature of self is that part of self that can process what is happening around one, no matter where one is. One question I have asked myself is “ What am I generating?” or “ Why can’t I generate this myself ( in relation to events in my life) ?” 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself , as my beingness, as my innocence, not seeing, realizing and understooding how and what I generate in every moment of myself as expression in this life as the effect of my actions, or acceptances of actions at that point where I realize “ this is not where I want to go”, here.

I forgive myself , as my beingness, as my innocence, not seeing realizing and understanding that in effect, within the contrast of moments in my life, how in the end I am the one generating what determines my experience as belief, opinion and idea as who and what I am, and within this, how I can become hypnotized by an idea, belief, or opinion, as a set body of information made resonant from practice as repetition within and as me, to become an accepted expression of and as measure in space as a timed event, that determines the moments of myself as life here, and for this I cannot blame anyone but myself, because I am who and what I am here because of my own volition.

I forgive myself, as my beingness, as my innocence, for not “ doing the math,” as my state of being, within and the relating of that, as the focus of myself, to this living reality that is here in this moment.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand, through contrast, as critical and creative assessing of space time, as READING OF what is here as all things,  as this living reality called earth here, to realize the measure as the state of being, as a stance of focus, as the acceptances and allowances within being self generated as myself, that define who and what I am here, and become a measure determining my actions, here, that either consider all things, in ways that do no harm, and that without OF this use of real presence become  self interest, become singular as a relationship of survival as an idea, that is a state of separation from this living realty that is creation in expression as this earth, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that within and as my experiences, I reveal myself to myself, unless I am ONLY acting in self interest, fearing to question my actions, even in moments of realization that “ this is not where I want to go.”

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the pull into “ getting along and going along” as a idea of and as a morality as this is a morality of “ not upsetting” that which overall is something that “ upsets” one’s sense of self as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, as my beingness, as my innocence,  that in any moment, I as life, as expression of and as life, am more than able to make a decision thus realizing that I need not ONLY be in some quiet private space.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in any moment, as this gift of life here, I am able to make a decision and change who and what I am allowing myself to be as an expression of who and what I am here.

I commit myself, as my beingness, as my innocence, to see realize and understand that this essence of myself as life, as presence, as focus, am able to process the math, the information, the forms, the movements of what is here, to realize “ following along without question”, and in a moment, seeing realizing and understanding how I can become hypnotized within and as beliefs without realizing the consequences of those choices until a singular more intense event happens and within that, through contrast, realize the polarized value judgement as a choice made  and making a choice to realize through a process of elimination, what directions are what is best for myself as who and what I am here to the extent I realize I am a creator of my experience in this life that is creation in expression as the physical, here. 

I commit myself to simultaneously, see, realize and understand that this mirage of belief, as a resonant construction, made through repetition, where repetition does not equate to truth, to not see realize and understand how I build who and what I am, where the contrast of a moment of awareness of consequences for actions taken, reveals how what I accept and allow as a practice, will determine my actions, in this living, breathing, expressing physical creation that is life here, as life would be a state of considering all things, here which also, realizes that there is no other place to “ go” as is impulsed as belief which in itself as a distraction from life here. 

I commit myself to seeing realizing and sensing in and as every moment as every breath, to ground myself here, to realize the weights as pressures within and as my physical, is the “ reverberation” of accepted and allowed and acted upon, beliefs, opinions and ideas, that accumulate and move through my human physical body, as a gift of life, revealing myself as what I have chosen to accept and focus upon, as the back chat within and as me, like a current moving through me, that is of my own creation that is also a gift to show imbalances that are lacking in consideration of all things as this living, breathing, physical expression of life here.

Day 821 Looking at a State of Innocence

So this looping, this constant dialogue in my head is myself not being here, myself not being in that state of innocence, that affords/brings/rises-up a smile of joy, of innocence, of lack of blame- and instead is more of a sharing, a being, a presence that forgives all trespasses. Funny how the real words are here in existence to guide and direct us, if we would only look and slow down and listen. This state that is more natural than the projections of personifications. Projections that are because of a fear of being what is essentially more real, as that state of innocence. As those who fear being that, state of innocence fear acknowledging and admitting  to a STATE OF SEPARATION. 

Our political, POLES I CALL/ I LABEL/I ACCEPT are the literal STATES bullying even within their words, assuming dominance. I did not pay my excise tax bill, and received a second notice that contained the words in capital letters DEMAND. I thought, why send a second notice that was so aggressive ? The word on the notice being in capital letters as a “DEMAND”!!!!!! WE DAMANDDD that YOU PAY! I mean really. Is that any way to treat a living person, especially in this economic climate? These are PEOPLE sending out these notes. This is not done by some invisible hand or “ iron fist.” This is done, the words chosen, by a system that exists by a collective of  PEOPLE. Like a bunch of peas, pulling something, warping reality, FORGETTING the self as physical life and FOR GETTING an ideological personification of a more-than and a less-than as the voices in the head that is the indicator that one is mis-using the mind, and even STUCK in ONLY being the mind as a set body of information mis-used as over-used creating a state of separation from self as life, as the living body that is what enables one to exist. That which is PULLED as POLARIZED as value judgements lacking any real consideration from what it means to be a physical state of being, composed of the same building blocks as a plant. 

I mean, just as a plant requires basic fundamental elements to exist as its expression, so does and is the human. If that structural living thing is lacking in the basic fundamental elements that composes its ability to express and BE, it goes into stress and does not function in its real capacity. We understand this with plants, and so it is with the “ walking plants” called humans - and the many animals and insects. 

I will return to talking about innocence. In contrast, I have a twin sister. I have a person in my life that I was with from the get go. Yes, we have screamed and yelled at one another. BUT, there is this quality, this sense that none of this matters. It is as though, we remember on some deep level how we built ourselves because we were there as we built who and what we have become. It has a feel that we are in a STATE of suspension. It is as though we know on some level that we are playing a game. No matter what we are more readily able to let the past go, as though we remember that we have entered a “ twilight zone” of stepping outside of something. Almost like, somewhere at some time, we made a pact that we would remember. There is this quality of realizing the storms are meaningless. 

Also, there are people in my life that no matter what, no matter what clouds may appear, what remains is a sense of joyful play. Meaning, the person opens a sense of wanting to smile. When we see one another, we want to smile. I remember meeting this one person years ago, and that same thing happened, even though I did not know much about them. It is like when we sometimes meet someone for a moment, and that same sense of knowing one another happens. It has a quality of calm, or joy and a sense that it does not matter if one never sees them again. What remains is a sense of something eternal and that in itself is the gift. The same quality happens when one discovers something, to the extent one need not force that quality to appear in a moment again, it remains, it is constant, it cannot be lost. This state of innocence has an endurance that remains there, always no matter the storm. When we do something that we, with hindsight, realize was not the best choice, that more eternal quality is there. The answer when coming out of a storm and sensing this quality, is shame. We are ashamed of our own actions.

Ever want to blame something, and at the same time, there is an awareness that one is doing just that? That quality of wanting to blame and knowing full well one cannot blame anything because self FORGOT that sense of joy, that sense of what is eternal, that sense of discovery, that sense of being able to hold something that needs no recognition from anyone because one KNOWS. If we are caught up in an over-use of the imagination, which is being MIND ONLY, we cause/create/practice/build a STATE of separation. If many do this, it becomes a living system. This living system is full of DEMANDS because it is a system of anger. Anger is the self having LOST that sense of joy, of discovery, of remembering that eternal quality that no one can take away because that is the self in expression as self as life that is of that quality of innocence which is a quality of NO BLAME, NO DEMAND, NO FEAR. 

I have had to involve myself with two “ committees” in the system. What I realize, is that it takes time for me to SEE THE TIMING. Meaning to see what is essentially like trying to hold a slippery fish in your hand. The system itself is a pretty cool structural system that does allow one to make choices that consider many things, to make the choice of no harm. YET, within that, it is the people who are the slippery fish. They are basically all over the place, and have a hard time realizing the structures. It appears that the structures are complicated, when in reality they are not as complicated as we might think, as we might believe. I can see where one can, as a mind state of separation, become so frustrated. One must take the time to realize the slippery state of this, and at the same time realize/understand inherent structures that can be used to implement what is best.  That slippery state can understand the structures, so it is like one must be patient and bring forward the real structural means to the extent those within this can hold it themselves. It is like standing as structure. I laugh, because is this not what the advertising systems are doing, in repeating STATEments again and again and again? That in itself as standing as a structure.  In this, one is dealing with many people. Yet, that slipperyness is not constant. It can have no constancy because it is a state of separation, lacking grace, lacking stability, lacking innocence.   That slippery quality is of ONLY being in a limited construct of a set body of information. Of being in a state of value judgements because of not being grounded in this living structure called earth.That state of separation is of a state of value judgements that leads to being in a state of fear, because it lacks wholeness causing discord that has no real ability to stand. It has no real structure of constancy. 

It is then of projection, a state of suspension from life. And it consumes the substance of the physical leading to dis-ease because it stresses the physical in consuming it faster than the physical can rebuild itself. It is worshipping a false god. I could say, ironically, one is in a constant state of construction and deconstruction, moving in a sequence of timed events that never solidify, that never rest, that leads to a constant looping within. That is a constant pull back and forth of good and bad, right and wrong, more than and less than. 

That “ state of innocence” does not have that same quality, it has more constancy, more joy, more stability, is is a more “ real” state of being. It realizes there are not problems and only solutions. it realizes that reacting to a system of what I have called “ slippery fish” is pointless. one need only stand to rebuild a structure that lends stability and constancy because a restoration of a natural innocence of the child feels FUCKING GREAT. One wants to smile, one wants to interact and communicate, one realizes the real value is life itself! There are no problems in this state, there are only solutions. There is no such thing as criticism in this state. It lends a great ability to not react to that slippery-fish state because what is more visible is how much that slippery-fish state lacks any real structure and that this lack-of-real-structure can never really be happy. What is desired is to instead be that state of innocence that realizes there are only solutions, that realizes there is no such thing as criticism. It realizes that the self is always here. Nothing can define who and what one is but the self as life, which includes all things, and thus is physical. 

Day 820 The Giving-In to a Limited Morality.

The giving into a limited morality.  The need to no longer fear calling this out as we all know what we do in self interest as a mind consciousness system. Where one is at is always visible as the words we speak. We can only speak of what we experience within and as what we allow. All suppressions are into limited values, so much of a general picture, the lie-by-omission that is of narrow dimension, like one dimension only, often cloaked as generality will become what one speaks, because one can only speak experience within.  The means do not define the ends, no matter how much we hide that which does not fit into a “ norm” as a supposed collateral damage.  When there is “ collateral damage” as an ideological commitment, it would mean that not all variables, not all aspects have been investigated. The threats of industry as a wall of sound as words and pictures will flood the media narrative, attempting to make a truth using false positives to pull on heart strings, suggesting gloom and doom should one counter the narrative of generality. It is the same as we allow within our minds to define us.

The problem with this, in tandem with the realization that we can only speak our experience, is that one must always sound that which is being suppressed as the self, the life that is what one is. There really is no way out but to realize what is best for all, as this will clear the waters within and on this earth. It means we have no choice but to synch with the will of creation which is the law of taking the good and allowing no harm, which means considering all things. Period. That is the free choice in plain sight as life. A beautiful design! 

I listened to a person read last night.The words came out very slow, with hesitations on every syllable. The timing, the pace of processing the words, was stagnant. What was being read was so far from being held as a placeholder of information, because processing the syllables was not mastered. It was so distant from the person. But that would be the outcome of working so many things out in front of one as a fractionalized consciousness, meaning a spread out self juggling pictures at the end of a horn generated from the mind - a form of hyperinflation of limited values, a form of protection and defense in a spaced time, that really is only a ripple, but as allowing ONLY that, a seemingly HUGE thing one can be pulled into, to the extent one forgets one’s own circumference! The words spoken lack an eternal quality, they cannot be held, as holding is too distant because the self interested personifications are a busy work occupying the space within the human. It is a mirage and it is visible.  The life of the self is so busy holding that facade in place which in-volves as volition, they cannot possibly allow anything in but by tiny degree! This slows down processing of information! It is so visible and so in plain sight- but one must remove the busy-work of NON-LOOKING of which has a movement in myself that I realize as a  giving-up. Astounding, but realize it has been said that “ god” sees everything! The joke is on YOU! 

If a musician can sense the most subtle of vibrations on a string, it would of course be possible to sense this, right here, in every moment, this dimension of movement as the sound we utter from our mouths! This space/time warp being projected out in front of us. I mean, why do we sometimes refer to the “ white paper castle” on the hill, a centralized regime that hides behind a wall of complicated paper work to protect the lie of ownership of freely given resources on this earth, that cannot be owned but by uttered words, like mis-using milk from a cow, that as what we are, as minerals and water that can form crystals, to project imagery of extremely limited form, to the extent we believe that resonant body to be more than this reality! What is the most perfect of means to do this but to place a child, a developing human in a florescent box, pump them full of depressants and force feed them a set body of information, giving out gold stars to those who are most effective in regurgitating that limited construct that uses dimensions of reality to build a false reality in self interest of a few, thereby being of absolute destruction to this reality? Is there no greater crime than this, this form of slow moving extinction to life, of which so many children suffer the consequences of, not to mention the animals, and the plants because a few want to play god? This is a mess, one that can only be “ righted” through each part standing up in synchronicity of this abundant creation, because we can reform. That reformation means to respect what is here to synch with the expression of creation. That would be heaven. That means there is no heaven, there is only here. The physical is the means of a real heaven. Warping that would be impulsing an idea that it is outside of the self somewhere, as it is, because as one accepts that supposed truth, one builds a projection of that information, like following a carrot on a string as reality, the division of space into a limited time frame, a tiny ripple that through accumulation builds a resonant construction that is projected outside of the self. It is a busy work that as it, will resonate in all one’s words, because we can only speak our experience, as what we accept and allow within all that mineral rich salt and water as our physical bodies. 

The pain, the layers of pain are resonant within, done by the self, accepted by the self. It is a pressure, a constriction, made into a collective morality, a false morality. One’s resonant accepted construct, of self interest, causing discord of a natural ability to communicate and live what one is already, as the very life that is the self, deep down in a tiny ripple of information made huge, as an inflammatory set body of ideas, beliefs and opinions, causing great friction and pressure on the joints, blocking the intercellular communication of self, as a whole. It is a fractionalized self separated from reality. It is visible, it is in plain sight. There is no escape and no one but the self can change this. That in itself as a great gift because it is the self as life that may dis-cover this, unfold this, realize the self creation of separation and thereby discover that each one is creation as the will of life must by nature be a will of life! 

The two dimensional form of a pyramid would be a triangle, and yet this could be a vortex, with the levels appearing to be a resonant layered onion, the pain of ignoring the past as the acceptance of limitation, especially in a  world where humans have generated this for eons of time, to the extent one is living in a hell of limited values, suppressing the self as life. 

A morality of polarized values, a hyper-inflated value system, causing separation from even reaching the self as life in each one. That self is waaaayyyyyy down there at the end of that generation, exhausted by the game, that is composed of beads of ideas, opinions and beliefs, creating a resonant storm separating one from the gift that is life, the will of that one and only choice that is the choice to take the good and do no harm, to realize oneness and equality with this orchestra of the physical as the manifestation of life. 

There are pauses in the way words are used, as one must, and does through habit, cross reference one’s protection system of limited values. Indicating in itself a great ability! The blips in the flow as the words spoken, as the sounds made, indicate the vast space in between the words, that one can slow down to the extent one notices those micro hesitations that are the self monitoring one’s protection system. In some it is so bad, it is difficult to speak. Sometimes in reading something written by a young person, the effort needed to get something out takes so much time, the time allotment of the system does not afford the follow through into fleshing something out, thereby creating a habit of never allowing self discovery, never giving the gift of insight that would improve all of our lives. This is a crime against life. We all suffer. And, this is because there has not been enough correct practice of language as the human means of self management and organization. Instead we have a news feed that is through limitation, a false morality that it touts itself within and as. 

That friction is of fear. A parent can only speak of that, because that is what is practiced. If a parent comes and asks for “ understanding” of a state the child as being vulnerable in their developmental stages, that parent is admitting a lack, admitting that the child lacks proper inner structure. Compassion for a lack ONLY is an end game. It really means that the parent is not willing to change for the child, as their protection system they have allowed to define them they fear changing, their fear has become a busy work of self interest. This is a crime against the child, against life. It is a false morality. It has no interest in the life that is the child. The child will eventually hate the parent, I mean, why have respect for that? 

One has to be willing to push on those strings, those arrays of bubbled beliefs, to upset the web, to have that humpty dumpty sitting on that wall fall down, because it is only of resonant construction. One will only shatter the unacceptable. This must be done to find those who are willing to stand as life. Next? Who is after all, being the real harm here? 

I know a woman I have known for some time. She is becoming older. What has happened is that her speech has slowed down, as though it is harder and harder to express aspects of what she wants to compose and share. That state of separation has become so large, that ripple so all encompassing, managing herself as she has done, and interaction with this reality, such a juggling show, the blips of cross reference as protection, from childhood, is as I would say, inverting movement in this reality is becoming harder and harder. So great is the separation. Some may call it aging, but in reality, it is that resonant storm sucking the real life out of the vessel. What will be left but the starting point, before the acceptance of a survival character. This separation information being what would resonate with the parents. One can hear the tension in making this choice in the voice, recognizable by myself, because that is also within me. With that within myself, is a belief that “ there is no place else to go.” Or so I believed.  Standing up to this false morality, appears to be a bad, but in effect it is no longer accepting a resonant storm, like a horn of plenty projecting outwards, that is of ripples as it has no real capacity to stand the test of time, as the test of being equal and one with creation here. Sad. Yet, if I allow that sadness, I become the same. It is to acknowledge this and stand as model with a greater degree of presence as best I can here, within and as breath. 

That false morality, of polarized values, is a form of slashing and burning the self as life! It is held in place through a back chat of right and wrong, good and bad, as a dialogue, a rogue of acceptances and allowances, that hide the embrace of limited dimension by the self. It is filled with a friction that manifests as pain, as one hyper inflates limited values, hiding under umbrellas of generality as that ideological mean, ignoring the collateral damages, and accepting them as a truth, when that is a shield of pure forced ignorance. 

One must become nuclear. Meaning, one must stand in equality and oneness with this creation as this physical earth, accepting no harm and calling this resonant storm out by name. One must be able to be self responsible within this, never wavering, which means being nuclear. That would burn the shadows , the resonant dirty smoke as the waste product of a false morality. It appears as pretty colored neon lights, but just as our neon lights burn resources, so does this within us, as this outer world reflects what is within each human. That false morality, compounds and reduces the life on earth. This is visible in animal extinction, and the suffering of our children. Those that starve in great numbers every day.  And some say they want to move out of their comfort zones in a comfortable way. That is a belief that is that same protection system speaking, it is a false morality. 

Day 819 A beautiful understandable design.

I have been listening to how people speak in terms of how they frame description. 

I have a friend who has no eduction, though he can be handy with tools and getting physical work done. When he comes to tell me about something in his life, it becomes a very long story. I realize as I listen, that because he describes it all as “ then he said, and then she said, and then he did,” it takes a moment for me to frame what he sees as relationships of conflict and mis management within the scenario. To see if I understand his perspective, I usually do a summary afterwards. I use words such as spiteful, resistant, embarrassed. He says yes or no, or sometimes, tells the whole story again. He sees the actions between things as the emotional reactions. He does not call the movements out by name, he describes all the reactions between people.

Today, I was at a local service center for my mother’s cable company.  I had had a problem signing in and ordering something. I said a pop-up window had asked for something and then disallowed my action. The response from the service desk people was this long explanation that did not use qualifiers, but instead told a visual example through describing this long example. I found myself becoming impatient. I realize I did not want to listen to this long dramatic description. I cut the conversation short, drew another picture using words, that was short. One of the two women said no to my response and the other agreed. One realized I did a summation, and the other could only relate to a long story of cause and effect. As I walked to my car, I realized I often reacted to that level of conceptual ability that told long drawn out stories about something to describe a “ why” of something etc. .

I have read a lot of novels in my life. I got to a point in my late thirties where I could no longer read them. They were like some pieces of music I have performed. The gamut of their range was somehow very limited. I had become acclimated to the patterns and they no longer went beyond a certain boundary. Though all I could say about them was that they were of the same “ measure.” In a way, that was me being what I perceived others to be, I was as limited in recognition of myself in my conceptual ability as that woman in the store who could only see through her way of describing something. 

I recently read something that said the more petty talk about other people all of the time, the less petty, by degree, begin to talk about events, and then one begins to move into recognition of both, and moves into problem solving, or realizing relationships and finding what is of even more expedition in creating. 

This is also like music, because one moves from the simple structures and begins to realize patterns and then tightens up those patterns to create something, see the starting point and the ending point, as some would say. I would call this orchestrating.

I have been studying things about cells, and the interrelations of cells in the body. From high school I had pictures only of hexagonal chemical structures. I have read about things on a limited basis through the years, so I am somewhat beyond a 101 level, but not much. I realize as I expand on this study, that it is the same movement, that growth in recognizing patterns and seeing things in another light is that of a greater conceptualizing ability. This becomes a momentum that has the nature of wanting to expand to basically “ hear the tune.” It is a natural desire to understand, to hear the symphony, to see the beauty in the design, to stand equal to the awesomeness of a functioning thing. I had ONLY an image of proteins, for example, as the standard geometrical shapes with single bonds and double bonds, etc., I did not realize I could see them as ribbons of building blocks one could call carbon snowflakes. On another level, this reveals the extent to which humans being have been dumbed down. It is extensive. We basically have no idea what our present medical “ health” system is offering as an item to sell, with us as the resources in an economic design that moves towards power, gathering the profits in self interest, that is an ignorance of the resource as the most amazing design that is what is supposedly sought. It is such a magnificent design that that design and the means thereof, is the real power! That “ power” is of such beauty that one could but not want it for each and every one at the same time! That is how it is so amazing!  

If I am at times conceptually what I would call “ tighter”- in this context -  in my description in relation to another, I must realize where they are at, and use the same means. It may require being of a tighter conceptual ability, with some dramatic description. At other times, it may require more dramatic description and less conceptual tightness. This could vary by degree in any situation. It would also mean that some would respond to being more conceptually tight, because it would sound like a new kind of music that was a clearer compound of information- something like seeing a master work. Basically, this living physical reality is that “ tighter conception” in its intrinsic harmony and seeking of balance. One must recognize the means of perceptual ability a person had in relation to this reality and speak that, because it is one of those situations where “ all roads lead to Rome,” as they say. The natural desire to understand is to realize patterns and see the harmony, and stand with the design and move as it, with it, in joy of the small and the many relationships of that as the sum of the parts is of a awe inspiring design! As anyone might have experienced, well designed things are a joy to watch, to experience, much like watching water falls, or fire burning. 

I also remember an exercise where one closes one’s eyes, and places one's arms above one’s head, and then places one foot on the other knee, balancing on one foot with arms raised above the head. This is easier with the eyes open, because we have allowed ourselves to rely on our eyes more than our other senses. Thus, when one does this with one’s eyes shut, it is not easy. But then again, that shows the extent to which I am not in practice of being present in my own WHOLE body! I wonder if this shows the extent of how much I exist within my head, because the tendency is to lose balance, as though one is in a mind spin ONLY! That would mean that I am not being like a tree, stable and able to remain flexible enough to not bend to the resonant spin of an overuse of my imagination and a lack of real focus in this life that is here. After all there is ONLY here. 

I also remember that it has been said that when the words I speak can be recited backwards and will say the same thing, my starting point is equal to my ending point, in a way, as what I have said is complete in itself. 

If I am talking with another, and I cannot remember the perspectives they are using to describe something, than I basically have not really really listened to them, because I  have not HEARD the measure/meter/framing of their conception in how they describe something! If I were really listening, I would be able to relate to the means of their presentation of whatever it was they were talking about and transpose a response to their present means of conceptual ability. Thus, I must realize that one point of being what some might call “ intellectual,” it that I feel threatened if I have to listen to a long drawn out dramatic means of description, because I fear that this will define me as an idea about one level of conceptual ability being more than another, when overall, such is naturally a part of a process of what could be called refinement, or being able to say more with less, and at the same time, saying it in a way, in a “ tight “ way, there that same tightness creates that sense of “ hearing” the form in a clearer way that brings an awe of the beauty of the design of something. I can relate this to an opening of a door into greater insight about something. 

One can forgive one’s self for not being patient, etc., YET, one must also understand a point of conception, to live that patience in a way that leads it into being that which is of great joy, which is “ tightening” of pattern recognition that breeds understanding of the sum of all parts as being an expression of beautiful design. 

I can see where a bureaucracy contains all of this. As one moves up through that bureaucracy, one meets people who are more able to expedite conceptually, and correct in greater detail. And, within this, how one cannot really move up until one is more able to do this. 

It has somewhat the nature of the “ eye-of-the-needle” because one must be able to express more with less, or make a tighter design to fit through what appears to be a smaller opening, when it is not a smaller opening, it is that only a more well composed conceptual ability unlocks the door. But that is awesome, because one cannot pass unless one can answer to the balance that is that greater understanding which means a greater consideration of the composition overall. 

That is so cool and  means it is so doable! 

Overall, this opens another point for me. That other is more of direction. It is to realize, for me as  the point of excitement. I think of qualities in horses, that can move into reaction, into excitement so quickly. Things can be so exciting, which can cross from a place of balance when awestruck with something. I ask myself what is the difference? Should I look at that point of being able to suspend desire to the extent that what is of great design has an eternal quality to it to the extent it is always present and thus there really need be no rush of excitement that crosses into a fear of loss, that leads to chasing something and causing consequences of harm that one does notice but is too caught up in making something a “ more” when that more need not be feared to be lost because it is a constant and in that constancy is so stable the beauty of it is always, in all ways here?