I am looking at the word ‘spite.’ It is different from blame. Spite is to have a desire to hurt, annoy, or offend someone. It is having a feeling of contempt for someone. Contempt is a feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless or deserving of scorn; a disregard for something that should be taken into account. The word ‘scorn’ being a feeling or belief that someone or something is worthless or despicable.
Thus, when I am taking things personally, I am essentially in spite, which means I ‘ want something to go away’ and I actively speak up to punish that measure, that state of being manifest as behaviors or actions in words and/or deeds; as how a person may dress, or wear an expression, or style their hair, or exist within a position in our present system.
So, in spite, I reject and then call out the limitations that I fear by association could define me, and then instead of becoming an understanding of what is held in contempt to realize how something was created, because in essence I am a creator and nothing can define me but what I accept and allow, to realize that things are changeable and with movement here, can realign into what equalizes oneself to the presence of life here on earth.
When I believe I am unworthy and I fear this being realized as a belief, etched in stone, I become inferior to life, and forgetful of change, forgetful of the gift of life as sound formation as I can change and am here, so nothing can be lost, as it is already here as me. This change that I fear, is in itself an action that reveals to me how I am the master of what I am ultimately!
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to spite.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being defined as something I believe is less than what will enable me to survive here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to spite myself in fear of another defining me as less than.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within this spite, not see, realize and understand that I, if I slow down and look at what I have allowed to become the hue, the color, the judgement, the fear within and as me, I can realize the smoke and mirrors show in and as my mind as my belief, that is defining me in the moment of spite capturing my attention and separating myself from here, and stagnating my own self awareness in fear of loss as a picture show of gloom and doom that has no real solution and thus development in understanding the nature of life, which is to give as I would receive, to become equal and one to and with the physical to move as that which does no harm and takes that which is good, to ground myself here equal and one with creation here, which is the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a doom and gloom picture show in and as my mind as belief, as judgement, as separation from my own common sense and rejection of myself as life and the life around me as this physical reality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become blinded by fear,, for which I can blame no one but myself as I have accepted and allowed this as the presence of me within and as me here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to do unto another as I would have done unto myself because in the end it is only me who decides what I am within and as me, as no other can change me but myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear change.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must shield myself from limitation which is myself allowing and accepting judgement without follow through into and as what is solution.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that just as I have built the mechanics of and as my mind, as my beliefs, so can I with this same presence, see form and function as this actual real physical life that is the means of life as the physical is life information here.
When and as I find myself moving into fear, as in accepting and allowing thoughts as an energy that moves in slow motion from my head area into my body, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that this need not define me, and that I as this, as life, can slow down and see the measure of what I have accepted and allowed and change, forgive the thoughts, and ground myself here, into and as equality and oneness with and as life here, to see realize and understand practical applications that are best for myself which is what is best for all.
When and as I find myself moving into spite, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see as my thoughts what I fear defining me, and what I believe I can lose as idea or opinion, and within this survival based system, see , realize and understand that I have the power to simply be here, choosing life as accepting all things, and taking that which is good which is that which does no harm here.
When and as I find myself moving into spite, I stop and I breath, and I assess what values I have as an agenda as a self definition, and I forgive the good and the bad, the fear as a belief, and the inner projection as a persona as a self idealism, my idol, of and as an image filled with self defining values as self created feelings as what I believe will create a win, and I ground these within and as what would a practical action that is in consideration of all things, to equalize myself to and as life here, to be and become in thought word and deed that which is good and does no harm, as this is respect for life as myself here.
When and as I find myself becoming the energy of spite, as a sinking motion within and as me, I stop, I slow down, I breath, I check myself accepted and allowed definitions, as what I believe makes me more than another, and I see, realize and understand that the seeming promise of and as this is an illusion as the practice of living means being here, equal and one with and as the physical world.
When and as I find myself filled with different hues, as values, as ideas, an energy of spite and self aggrandizement as self interest, I see, realize and understand that in allowing this as the attention of myself means that I can change, and ground myself here, to begin the practice of becoming equal and one to and as life here.
When and as I find myself believing I have no worth, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down to see, realize and understand and become in practice what supports life, to end self punishment into rejecting the very substance of myself as the means of life here.
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