What is Presence? Day 807

The point of least resistance, the point of moving forward, the place of where I am at.

As what and who I am, I can always deconstruct and reconstruct. I can feel what I carry with me, as a morality of good and bad, instead of what is best for all, as what considers all things here, in this reality, a physical reality, as life, as this is what defines me, gives me license to express that/this life, here. 

Somehow, even these words do not express this. It can only be about what this means. This means of composition that functions as well, as a means of communication. I remember moments, especially when in a musical performance, at a certain point, of and as “ knowing where a person was at” in terms of personal mastery of an instrument. It is that one can remember the sequences of development into greater mastery.  If those one performs with, are in the same levels, of this understanding of the parts that lead to the more wholistic integration, there can be a sense of knowing that does not need communication as words. It is seeing where someone is at. It is an awesome point, because it is the place where one begins to realize the extent one can play with the sound and at the same time be in synch with the other performers. Each sees what the other is doing, and the other helps one to form and move, to express. 

I remember other times of the sense of “ knowing” coming up. It is as though one is open, and showing the sequences and how one is moving in this reality, as the means of expression. I would say it is of a presence more than a race to project something outward. I remember this happening at other times, in some fantastic ways that are questionable. I would say it is, from my perspective, a use of presence. I suppose this is how I came to the point of asking myself why I had no control over being able to move into a greater presence in a self willed, at-any-moment type of self willed capacity. Perhaps I had experienced the contrast too many times and in a moment caught the difference. This lead to the question. 

I also remember, within the skill of music, moving from being able to cross reference my own movement, to then reach out to the group, practicing being aware of that - the other players- and then suddenly realizing there was an audience. After realizing the audience, because I was more secure in my own skills and being able to hear the larger group, another world opened up. Always, within expansion, which is natural, the “ new” space appears scary, like a nightmare, I did not want to look. In time, the realization that I could change my sound and it has an effect on the audience. Even within that, the realization that when I focused my sound in a certain way, people listened, as though they were drawn to the sound. I realized I had to be that of which I spoke, completely present in the sound; that was when that sound drew in greater focus. In one of my past performances, a person came to me and said I had a very strong presence on the stage. That was interesting, because I had been playing with the sound to uncover just that. We are, as humans drawn to greater presence, because on some level, we all know that what is real, is this reality, is here, as this is life and it is amazing. We enjoy being with children because they are still very engaged in this reality, even if that state of engagement, is learning to envelope an understanding of itself. 

I supposed that development of interacting as music within this reality, lead to sometimes seeing in a moment through the cracks of this reality. This, probably not always so, as a belief, because I have opened this up in my world, asking or suggesting that we all have moments where we somehow “ see through the cracks.” And, we probably, if we look, have asked the same question as to why we as individuals, are not moving as this as self willed individuals. Meaning, who are we not in control of this? How and why is there the existence of moments of greater presence, that we bounce out of without being on control of this? What is around us that we bounce back into? What has automated to the extent we have lost the self will to change into greater presence that we all know is there, because we all have those moments of presence that reveal to us that ability to have greater presence? What morality, what game of good and evil are we lost within, as value judgement of which we have been told exists, from those in the past, have we accepted that veils that ability to be more present, that moment of seeing all the interacting moving parts of this world around us? And what is that which we bounce back into? Could it be a resonant veil? And does that resonant veil block that ability to commune with another to the degree one need not speak, because one senses how present one is within what one is doing here, as an interaction with the physical to the extent one begins to “ manipulate the sound” to move what is here around one, and to have a moment where myself and another are aware of what we are doing, and that is really super fun! And, that is somehow never talked about, ever, if anything after a moment like that with another musician, there is less of a need to talk, and sense of really knowing the person, a form of intimacy that cannot be forgotten! It is better than sex in many ways, it is more use of self, unless, sexually, perhaps that is more of what is supposed to happen as the expression of touch between two people, and yet, at present, such expression has not developed presence because that same resonance within directs through a morality ( an automated beliefs system) instead of correct use of presence. 

One must really understand one’s words, to the degree one need not think about then, so that one can expand, or use to a greater degree, one’s presence, self directed, realizing the sequences of the structure of creation and the sequences of the construction of a personality that by definition is a composition of a morality of good and evil instead of a respect for all things here, realizing the beauty of creation, as this earth which is life manifest. One can see this in every micro movement of the physical body. Is there this soup of weight slowing down the presence, the potential of a human, that is visible in the most subtle of movements? Why do older people slow down so much? Why have they not mastered being present, moving with ease, here? Get on board people! We have all experienced this, we know this! It is that part of us that is that presence! The cracks of seeing through this are all around us! It is what is meant by being in a state of “ only seeing the lack” composed of the past, stitched together though value judgements of right and wrong, more than and less than, good and bad. All hate is self hate, because we know! We all have great potential, and it is here. If one does not use one’s potential as real presence as being in a relationship with this reality, and instead develops a personification of value judgements as a survival suit, that survival composition occupies one’s attention and one loses one’s potential as real presence, as being grounded here, in this reality. Then one would have moments of suddenly seeing through the cracks of one’s own construct of separation from reality. One has become stuck in a morality of good and evil value judgements instead of practical application as interaction that is relating, as being in a living relationship, to what is here. One’s relationship is with a resonant construct of managing, or trying to catch up with automated value judgements ( we become what we practice!), that unsorted that is of self interest through practice or acceptance instead of realizing that one is a part, an individual in a whole that is what one is! Presence in this living reality would enable one to move with greater effect, of which the very sound of self is equal and one to the sound of what is here as this living manifested physical reality called earth - which spells heart. The resonant shadow of ideas, beliefs and opinions, block a correct use of a natural ability to be present as who and what one is in reality. As I heard said this week, “ tyranny is the deliberate removal of nuance.” 

Have you ever been in a car accident? Have you been unnerved for a few months after the accident, having projections as “ worse case scenarios” flood your being as you drive post accident? What is that “ cloud” of fear around one? Does it take time to get over that experience and the fears associated around it? Does that occupy your focus for a while? Can you read this reality if in-volved with a past jolt of fear, or could it be considered that that experience, now a memory, a state of separation from being present and here? Could such be what may have allowed the accident as it is, that one was not aware and present and ended up in that accident? Is the fear really a wake up call to the self, to remember to live here overall? 

I hear so many parents realizing their children are extremely anxious. They blame this on the system. This blame on the system is in itself an abdication of self responsibility. One parent this week expressed this when the anxiety in the child caused the child to no longer be able to move in the system. The parent expressing a lack of awareness of this anxiety having slowly accumulated. How is it that a parent living with their child did not notice that the child was becoming increasingly anxious? Therein is the problem, the parent moving on automation to the degree they did not notice what was informing the child! That parent was “ driving down a road” and not reading what was around them. How can a school SYSTEM that by design imparts a GENERAL scaffold of information, a picture about something, of information to a group also pay attention to that same limited general scaffold being integrated effectively? They cannot be what brings that general scaffold memorized ONLY into a living wholistic experience thereby filling in that outlined in the imagination ONLY template. Having that general outlined template memorized is not an education, it is a picture in one’s imagination ONLY, and it is not the whole story. Public education works when the parents are very involved, understanding this and providing opportunity and connection to practical experience where that general scaffold comes to life, because as a picture, it has no real connection to life because it is ONLY a picture. If a human body is filled with informative general outlines about things as pictures, it becomes a knowing-of-something- that-is-not-a-real-knowing. That would by design create anxiety- not to mention the demand to memorize greater amounts of information which becomes difficult without practical experience to focus one on reality. It is also a resonant picture ONLY, that is not enough to develop real license to move effectively in this reality. Each word must have a living relationship to this reality, to allow one to be in synch with the ordinary, the reality, the nuance of the small, to be in awareness, to be able to transfer tasks into reality, practically. This is what is meant by having critical and creative thinking skills, one can transfer tasks from one environment to another with supportive effect because one have developed real presence instead of being up in an over-used imagination. The parts must be in synch. The left side of the brain moving in synch with the right side of the brain. This also begs the question as to why a parent would expect a school to do this, when they are products of the product, and by definition should have mastered this and be able to lend this state of being to the children, which would mean that perhaps, the parents would not need a school to do this. If presence, real effective self willed, self directed humans were what the parents became, than that would be absorbed by the child, because that is what is in the environment.  We are products of our environment; we are not born with language and culture or religion. 

How has this come to pass as how information is shared? Is an extreme used to compare, as some information is better than none, something is greater than nothing for an opposite extreme, and thus for some, a public school general scaffold of information memorized is more ordered than that chaos from which they came. For those above the means, that imparts this that helps the other extreme, the design actually down regulates their intelligence. This being the classic “ guise of good “ from a one sided conversation as our media, imparting a story ( a sequence of movements or events) talking effect that if one looked at the whole, would realize that singular effect of a good from an extreme starting point of lack, cannot define the collective. There is more to the story. Yet, one cannot speak up about this, because the box is only allowing certain information to come forward ( automated belief systems- one cannot speak about what one does not know, or one can only speak about one’s experience which is what one allowed and accepted ). And that story has automated to the extent one fears stepping outside of that story of information, as a totem of values made larger than life via a one-sided conversation. It is the threat of “ you are either with us, or against us” scenario. This leads to accidents, which leads to moving in shadows of doom and gloom, causing further distraction, leading to greater anxiety ( the limited story causing a mis-take on reality). This becomes that ouroborous, or a snake eating its own tail, or “ coming full circle” meaning one becomes what one thinks about, what one focuses on ( and yet the design reveals the means of effective development! ). If what eventually automates within is not in synch with the ordinary practical living physical reality around us, as being in respect of what is here and what we are, we become in conflict with living, in conflict with the practical, in conflict with the ordinary. We are in separation from the living nuance as life that is physical as that which we move to create new things, of which we are the most perfect of beings to do and to live, where we participate with one another, and create, because this is where we are most happy, being haptic, living, respecting life. Imagine being so focused here, one’s movements are creative and feeling the full nuance of creation as this reality? Imagine expanding your presence into the parts AND the whole?  The anxiety in our children is really telling/showing/revealing the degree of our separation from the ordinary that contains the nuance that informs us to become a master of this life, living self willed equality with all things, developing a real presence of and as what and who we are as physical human beings on a physical creation that is by definition amazing. Look outside your window and realize the  symmetry, the synergistic quality of creation, where no one thing is more than another, and that it is a system we can understand and move into being in greater presence with because it is us, we are a part in a wonderful fabric called life. Can we " give up" what is resonant within, or rather deconstruct and reconstruct into alignment with this life? Can we, as is our capacity, realize our point of least resistance and from there, use our presence to align to this life?

I find it interesting that we have the symbols of the triangle as the "A" and the Omega as the circle. In  moment of playing with the meaning of the totems on our papers, as the symbols, I realize the symbols in themselves reveal the means. The triangle is that which moves through the " eye-of-the-needle" as the "O." It is a numbers game, a math, as when one develops one moves from the general to understanding more and more detail, more and more awareness of the parts and the nuance of the whole as the ordinary, as a composition, to the extent one master's the parts, one can become small, and large, at the same time as presence, and within this, one can close the circle as move into grace, and fit into life, as the physical. Thus, in plain sight, is given the means to the end, it is simply played with as a form of distraction. After all, even a system of separation is still a system.