What is Presence? Day 807

The point of least resistance, the point of moving forward, the place of where I am at.

As what and who I am, I can always deconstruct and reconstruct. I can feel what I carry with me, as a morality of good and bad, instead of what is best for all, as what considers all things here, in this reality, a physical reality, as life, as this is what defines me, gives me license to express that/this life, here. 

Somehow, even these words do not express this. It can only be about what this means. This means of composition that functions as well, as a means of communication. I remember moments, especially when in a musical performance, at a certain point, of and as “ knowing where a person was at” in terms of personal mastery of an instrument. It is that one can remember the sequences of development into greater mastery.  If those one performs with, are in the same levels, of this understanding of the parts that lead to the more wholistic integration, there can be a sense of knowing that does not need communication as words. It is seeing where someone is at. It is an awesome point, because it is the place where one begins to realize the extent one can play with the sound and at the same time be in synch with the other performers. Each sees what the other is doing, and the other helps one to form and move, to express. 

I remember other times of the sense of “ knowing” coming up. It is as though one is open, and showing the sequences and how one is moving in this reality, as the means of expression. I would say it is of a presence more than a race to project something outward. I remember this happening at other times, in some fantastic ways that are questionable. I would say it is, from my perspective, a use of presence. I suppose this is how I came to the point of asking myself why I had no control over being able to move into a greater presence in a self willed, at-any-moment type of self willed capacity. Perhaps I had experienced the contrast too many times and in a moment caught the difference. This lead to the question. 

I also remember, within the skill of music, moving from being able to cross reference my own movement, to then reach out to the group, practicing being aware of that - the other players- and then suddenly realizing there was an audience. After realizing the audience, because I was more secure in my own skills and being able to hear the larger group, another world opened up. Always, within expansion, which is natural, the “ new” space appears scary, like a nightmare, I did not want to look. In time, the realization that I could change my sound and it has an effect on the audience. Even within that, the realization that when I focused my sound in a certain way, people listened, as though they were drawn to the sound. I realized I had to be that of which I spoke, completely present in the sound; that was when that sound drew in greater focus. In one of my past performances, a person came to me and said I had a very strong presence on the stage. That was interesting, because I had been playing with the sound to uncover just that. We are, as humans drawn to greater presence, because on some level, we all know that what is real, is this reality, is here, as this is life and it is amazing. We enjoy being with children because they are still very engaged in this reality, even if that state of engagement, is learning to envelope an understanding of itself. 

I supposed that development of interacting as music within this reality, lead to sometimes seeing in a moment through the cracks of this reality. This, probably not always so, as a belief, because I have opened this up in my world, asking or suggesting that we all have moments where we somehow “ see through the cracks.” And, we probably, if we look, have asked the same question as to why we as individuals, are not moving as this as self willed individuals. Meaning, who are we not in control of this? How and why is there the existence of moments of greater presence, that we bounce out of without being on control of this? What is around us that we bounce back into? What has automated to the extent we have lost the self will to change into greater presence that we all know is there, because we all have those moments of presence that reveal to us that ability to have greater presence? What morality, what game of good and evil are we lost within, as value judgement of which we have been told exists, from those in the past, have we accepted that veils that ability to be more present, that moment of seeing all the interacting moving parts of this world around us? And what is that which we bounce back into? Could it be a resonant veil? And does that resonant veil block that ability to commune with another to the degree one need not speak, because one senses how present one is within what one is doing here, as an interaction with the physical to the extent one begins to “ manipulate the sound” to move what is here around one, and to have a moment where myself and another are aware of what we are doing, and that is really super fun! And, that is somehow never talked about, ever, if anything after a moment like that with another musician, there is less of a need to talk, and sense of really knowing the person, a form of intimacy that cannot be forgotten! It is better than sex in many ways, it is more use of self, unless, sexually, perhaps that is more of what is supposed to happen as the expression of touch between two people, and yet, at present, such expression has not developed presence because that same resonance within directs through a morality ( an automated beliefs system) instead of correct use of presence. 

One must really understand one’s words, to the degree one need not think about then, so that one can expand, or use to a greater degree, one’s presence, self directed, realizing the sequences of the structure of creation and the sequences of the construction of a personality that by definition is a composition of a morality of good and evil instead of a respect for all things here, realizing the beauty of creation, as this earth which is life manifest. One can see this in every micro movement of the physical body. Is there this soup of weight slowing down the presence, the potential of a human, that is visible in the most subtle of movements? Why do older people slow down so much? Why have they not mastered being present, moving with ease, here? Get on board people! We have all experienced this, we know this! It is that part of us that is that presence! The cracks of seeing through this are all around us! It is what is meant by being in a state of “ only seeing the lack” composed of the past, stitched together though value judgements of right and wrong, more than and less than, good and bad. All hate is self hate, because we know! We all have great potential, and it is here. If one does not use one’s potential as real presence as being in a relationship with this reality, and instead develops a personification of value judgements as a survival suit, that survival composition occupies one’s attention and one loses one’s potential as real presence, as being grounded here, in this reality. Then one would have moments of suddenly seeing through the cracks of one’s own construct of separation from reality. One has become stuck in a morality of good and evil value judgements instead of practical application as interaction that is relating, as being in a living relationship, to what is here. One’s relationship is with a resonant construct of managing, or trying to catch up with automated value judgements ( we become what we practice!), that unsorted that is of self interest through practice or acceptance instead of realizing that one is a part, an individual in a whole that is what one is! Presence in this living reality would enable one to move with greater effect, of which the very sound of self is equal and one to the sound of what is here as this living manifested physical reality called earth - which spells heart. The resonant shadow of ideas, beliefs and opinions, block a correct use of a natural ability to be present as who and what one is in reality. As I heard said this week, “ tyranny is the deliberate removal of nuance.” 

Have you ever been in a car accident? Have you been unnerved for a few months after the accident, having projections as “ worse case scenarios” flood your being as you drive post accident? What is that “ cloud” of fear around one? Does it take time to get over that experience and the fears associated around it? Does that occupy your focus for a while? Can you read this reality if in-volved with a past jolt of fear, or could it be considered that that experience, now a memory, a state of separation from being present and here? Could such be what may have allowed the accident as it is, that one was not aware and present and ended up in that accident? Is the fear really a wake up call to the self, to remember to live here overall? 

I hear so many parents realizing their children are extremely anxious. They blame this on the system. This blame on the system is in itself an abdication of self responsibility. One parent this week expressed this when the anxiety in the child caused the child to no longer be able to move in the system. The parent expressing a lack of awareness of this anxiety having slowly accumulated. How is it that a parent living with their child did not notice that the child was becoming increasingly anxious? Therein is the problem, the parent moving on automation to the degree they did not notice what was informing the child! That parent was “ driving down a road” and not reading what was around them. How can a school SYSTEM that by design imparts a GENERAL scaffold of information, a picture about something, of information to a group also pay attention to that same limited general scaffold being integrated effectively? They cannot be what brings that general scaffold memorized ONLY into a living wholistic experience thereby filling in that outlined in the imagination ONLY template. Having that general outlined template memorized is not an education, it is a picture in one’s imagination ONLY, and it is not the whole story. Public education works when the parents are very involved, understanding this and providing opportunity and connection to practical experience where that general scaffold comes to life, because as a picture, it has no real connection to life because it is ONLY a picture. If a human body is filled with informative general outlines about things as pictures, it becomes a knowing-of-something- that-is-not-a-real-knowing. That would by design create anxiety- not to mention the demand to memorize greater amounts of information which becomes difficult without practical experience to focus one on reality. It is also a resonant picture ONLY, that is not enough to develop real license to move effectively in this reality. Each word must have a living relationship to this reality, to allow one to be in synch with the ordinary, the reality, the nuance of the small, to be in awareness, to be able to transfer tasks into reality, practically. This is what is meant by having critical and creative thinking skills, one can transfer tasks from one environment to another with supportive effect because one have developed real presence instead of being up in an over-used imagination. The parts must be in synch. The left side of the brain moving in synch with the right side of the brain. This also begs the question as to why a parent would expect a school to do this, when they are products of the product, and by definition should have mastered this and be able to lend this state of being to the children, which would mean that perhaps, the parents would not need a school to do this. If presence, real effective self willed, self directed humans were what the parents became, than that would be absorbed by the child, because that is what is in the environment.  We are products of our environment; we are not born with language and culture or religion. 

How has this come to pass as how information is shared? Is an extreme used to compare, as some information is better than none, something is greater than nothing for an opposite extreme, and thus for some, a public school general scaffold of information memorized is more ordered than that chaos from which they came. For those above the means, that imparts this that helps the other extreme, the design actually down regulates their intelligence. This being the classic “ guise of good “ from a one sided conversation as our media, imparting a story ( a sequence of movements or events) talking effect that if one looked at the whole, would realize that singular effect of a good from an extreme starting point of lack, cannot define the collective. There is more to the story. Yet, one cannot speak up about this, because the box is only allowing certain information to come forward ( automated belief systems- one cannot speak about what one does not know, or one can only speak about one’s experience which is what one allowed and accepted ). And that story has automated to the extent one fears stepping outside of that story of information, as a totem of values made larger than life via a one-sided conversation. It is the threat of “ you are either with us, or against us” scenario. This leads to accidents, which leads to moving in shadows of doom and gloom, causing further distraction, leading to greater anxiety ( the limited story causing a mis-take on reality). This becomes that ouroborous, or a snake eating its own tail, or “ coming full circle” meaning one becomes what one thinks about, what one focuses on ( and yet the design reveals the means of effective development! ). If what eventually automates within is not in synch with the ordinary practical living physical reality around us, as being in respect of what is here and what we are, we become in conflict with living, in conflict with the practical, in conflict with the ordinary. We are in separation from the living nuance as life that is physical as that which we move to create new things, of which we are the most perfect of beings to do and to live, where we participate with one another, and create, because this is where we are most happy, being haptic, living, respecting life. Imagine being so focused here, one’s movements are creative and feeling the full nuance of creation as this reality? Imagine expanding your presence into the parts AND the whole?  The anxiety in our children is really telling/showing/revealing the degree of our separation from the ordinary that contains the nuance that informs us to become a master of this life, living self willed equality with all things, developing a real presence of and as what and who we are as physical human beings on a physical creation that is by definition amazing. Look outside your window and realize the  symmetry, the synergistic quality of creation, where no one thing is more than another, and that it is a system we can understand and move into being in greater presence with because it is us, we are a part in a wonderful fabric called life. Can we " give up" what is resonant within, or rather deconstruct and reconstruct into alignment with this life? Can we, as is our capacity, realize our point of least resistance and from there, use our presence to align to this life?

I find it interesting that we have the symbols of the triangle as the "A" and the Omega as the circle. In  moment of playing with the meaning of the totems on our papers, as the symbols, I realize the symbols in themselves reveal the means. The triangle is that which moves through the " eye-of-the-needle" as the "O." It is a numbers game, a math, as when one develops one moves from the general to understanding more and more detail, more and more awareness of the parts and the nuance of the whole as the ordinary, as a composition, to the extent one master's the parts, one can become small, and large, at the same time as presence, and within this, one can close the circle as move into grace, and fit into life, as the physical. Thus, in plain sight, is given the means to the end, it is simply played with as a form of distraction. After all, even a system of separation is still a system. 

as- KING Day 783

In working with children, I realize how much that absorbent ability, as the child, does not have boundaries. Meaning that absorbent ability takes in what is around it, and becomes it. There is no separation. Yet, this is and what would be the very nature of our natural absorbent ability! We learn to define the qualities we absorb over time and define ourselves as that, when that is really a process of clarifying what we are seeing and what we are being, as a expression in a relationship. I say relationship because I am here, on a physical planet, moving in a relationship with all that is here, composing an expression as the whole as the physical as this earth, as creation. 

I can get caught up in my review of the reflection of what I have taken in as a value within the process of defining who and what I am as a physical form on a physical planet. I can forget what iI am and take the resonant ‘ copy’ as what I absorbed as a form, and make that larger than life. Then I become a con-sciouness of separation.  Amazing how our schools are this manifest, showing ourselves to ourselves as how we are allowing informing as separation from the practical reality. And we do this with words, mis-using sound, to create more and accumulating consciousness’s of separation. An instored/in-spired/in- layered/in-storied set body of information. Can we ask ourselves why we can’t remember what we did last year? If we are following a resonant construct of limited - information,  as a set body of information, how can we be present realizing the reality around us, in ways that do not cause conflict with the physical reality? Our actions do not fit into that reality, the one we absorbed that created a picture that then, through allowance, became larger than life!  

This begs the question, as as-KING, as self reflection with regard for what and who we are as physical beings on a physical PLAN-it,  where there is a at-most-fear,  why such a thing as shaking within ourselves exists? Is it possible that the sha- KING is countering a set body of resonant information? One moves against acceptances and allowances, as a resonant construction, when one QUEST- ions with as-KING ? Meaning, when one reviews one’s reality outside of that set body of resonant belief, as limited information, where one no longer is using that natural absorbent ability that can have no boundaries, as the process of understanding this reality, that is a natural action and is how we expand and realize who and what we are here? 

Within me, I can, in this moment, sense a righteousness. Meaning, my manner of wondering why we cannot see this, is in itself colored as being righteous. As always a truth is present, yet when made larger that life, it can lead to righteousness. Which is doing the same as what I speak of, making something larger than the practical. 

I can realize how stagnant I am from my own acceptance and separation from processing what is here, from reading what is here. In so many ways, it really is to get my processing speeds moving, meaning to realize what I am allowing as what I have absorbed without principle, and at the same time, reconnecting to having a real relationship with the physical reality around me. It is to become a master of who and what I am, to ground myself in this reality, a physical reality here.

That righteousness is a form of wanting to fix things, as rebalance things. It is wanting to have things move suddenly, which is an expectation. Then, that expectation is not lived out, and a reassessment takes place, which is a process. Yet, being present in this reality, within the realization of the principle of life, as being as doing no harm, is not yet lived with that natural absorbent ability in every moment, as this is the only real choice. In this, there is realizing in every moment, wth every breath, that there are no problems and only solutions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not recognize moving into righteousness, as the colors, as the hyperbolized value judgements, rushing within me,  as an accepted and allowed practice of and as a false morality, that when and as I move against my own acceptances and allowances, I begin to shake, revealing my acceptances and allowances to myself, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move as an idea, as an expectation , instead of slowing down and breathing, cross referencing here, assessing here, investigating here, to listen to here, to as-KING here, to ensure a stable and steady balance, within regarding and respecting all things, as who and what I am here, as life, that is physical in manifestation as creation, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and realize, see, and understand every movement within and as me, as a intellectual set body of information, believed to make me superior, as a more, within a survival game, not realizing how I work as life, and rushing to win, to conquer, when I am here, inherently able to absorb the form and movement as expression of what is here as the physical, to become aware of, as myself, to define me, within relationships of all that is here,  and the balance of and as what does no harm, taking that which is good, leading to a living breathing, changing, expression of life in FORMation here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move, to self direct as a set body of information, from and as a consciousness of separation instead of  moving from the heart of me, as life. 

When and as I find myself moving into conflict as resistance,/rejection/reaction, I stop and I breath, and I embrace with as-KING  to ground myself here, to assess and investigate, to balance and realize  the practical in the moment, the simple ordinary, the hum --bell expression within realizing a principle of recognizing and respecting living reality as the expression of life, composed of relationships of and as working/breathing/living in harmonious balance, that moves with ease, as there is no rush, there is here, where the value is being life. 

Day 468 Solicitation, TPP and Protest Laws. As Within So Without.

Someone said to me the other day , “ I don’t want to be solicited.” I stopped, this was a new response that I had not encountered. I looked at the man and said, “ how does one person speak with another, reach out? A person has to address people and through speaking bring what is new to them, for them to hear, it is how it is done, in all simplicity.” The man was not reactive, he did not bully, he simply looked at me with calm.

 But there, within me was a movement, initially, not, as I responded immediately, in calm, but as I spoke I noticed a tension, which was a fear, a reaction. As I spoke,  the common sense of what was physically happening as in a moment of communication with another I realized that the fear, as the inner uncertainty that was a warning based on some idea had no relevance in the moment. If anything, this fear was a pulling back within myself that protected and defended my action based on a belief that I could be labeled and judged and that this would remain with me, when such could not because I can only be here, in this moment. 

There is also a fear of standing as a directive structure, to stand through being a feminine person acquiescent as a belief within an accepted societal norm that really has no substantial responsibility within being here. If anything, one can only connect with that which allows self as life to move/flow/hear with ease and within this to remain steady as this. 

This is moving equal to common sense, to life, as is our natural ability as life as what we are, as self in absolute purpose within being aware of here, as what is best for all. Which in essence means communicating with one another, and realizing that we are only as good as the parts, as all of existence, around us. There is no other choice, and this is not an impossible choice, it is actually the easiest thing to be and do, if we only accept and allow this to be. The irony is that we, through believing that there is more than here, as idea as mind,  are existing in separation as judgement and not seeing what is here as what it is absolutely and the behavior of this is our state of confusion that appears complicated when it is not.

Our emotions and feelings that are the accumulation of thoughts that are a judgement based on an idea of one thing being more than another - which is what a survival game would be, where money has been allowed to determine life, -builds our characters, our cares, and becomes the program driving our wants, needs and desires, all of which in essence serves a machine of division/complication/suppression. The data going in serves the structure of judgement of having measured physical reality as being unequal, forcing hierarchy, a false god built on what is real beneath it, the real sustenance. All the while the gift of life is physical creation, giving equal measure of life to all as the very substance of what is the physical to allow equal understanding.

Interesting that, as I understand, the new TPP,  or Trans Pacific Partnership, is proposing keeping data secret, which is to say keeping justification “ secret”, and also, writing laws that punish protest. So, what is happening  within this structure of inequality is what we are doing within: our manifested expressed emotions that are the programs of accumulated judgement that we have accepted and allowed: beliefs that one thing is more than another: Our emotions and feelings hiding the thoughts that are the accumulation of a data  collection of values in self interest. These things that are supposedly more than values  really are of a limited selection of values and obeying them has taken from us our ability to stand in common sense, equal to life which we can see manifest in the cumulative acts based on our accepted/selected inner program/judgements/data as the amount of destruction happening to earth. 

And now we are proposing to not even be  allowed to protest our own demise, self created at that.  And so we live our own stagnation. We are slowly but surely leading ourself to our own stopping point, our own end. We are moving back, physically, to nothing because we refused to stand equal to life, which is the absolute purpose of common sense to be aware of here, and to do no harm, which is how one can equalize oneself to life, to the physical, and it would be  really fun thing to do, but instead we chase a separate program as the mind of limited values causing all manner of conflict because these values are based on ideas of good and bad and not what is the gift of structure to realize self as life as the physical world. It is right here in front of us, and yet we refuse to see that the physical world is the gift of life.

The physical is the  training wheels to equalize self to life. All those little atoms that compose a structure of life, so we can really “ play” and express ourselves as life.

And so much so, are we in self abdication that we manifest a law that disallows and punishes protest - in this case, the destructive pipeline that profits only a few at the expense of plants, animals, humans and water, and air on which we depend to be. 

Just as the law of profit takes everything, all consequence from not having considered all outflows, and turning the damage into a new profit making venture so can we as a collective take our mistakes and turn them into a good, as what is best for all. In the law is the answer: To no longer protest, and instead to stand as what is best for all, as in standing and placing/supporting a structure - in this case one that builds sustainable practices bypassing/redirecting the effort as our own impetus to protest, eliminating it as in  building something new with that movement through redirection within a sustaining principle.

We can, from within,  slow ourselves down and use our common sense and realize our thoughts of judgement have accumulated creating emotions and feelings that when looked at have no real value and can thus be self forgiven to bring ourselves here, to what is real, realizing that our past does not define us unless we accept and allow it. For this one can also walk the tools of self forgiveness writing and corrective application offered in a free course called DIPLite. It is a process to equalize self to life, as it was a process to build that concrete GPS system that was based on limited values that obeyed a god of profit in self interest which was a starting point of separation from self as life, but that which took that step is what is self as life, and it is there and can be redirected by self as self as life, here. The shift from following to self directing may seem impossible but it is not, and it will take practice but it can be done.

This is a process of walking the ordinary, a structure of order, that creates a supportive extra-ordinary earth that can become what realizes that the exception is the norm. Living Income Guarantee will accelerate this process because it will remove many of the behaviors of survival because money has been allowed to determine life  as what is here is what enables us to become equal to life. This is the gift of the physical world. It is your birthday present. 

Day 33 Ordinariness

Day 33 Ordinariness

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to believe I have to much to do.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to feel that I cannot get things done in time.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to focus on a list of things I need to get done instead of being physically practically here taking things one step at a time as this is all I can do as what I physically am here as a human being with two arms and two legs, where physically there is only so much I can do as this, where realizing this will allow me to stop worrying and planning and instead simply walk through what I can physically do in one moment and breath and be here and enjoy what I am doing here in this moment.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I have completed many projects, thus to do this I simply take what needs to be done one step at a time and have fun with what i am doing, not worrying about making mistakes, simply breathing and using my common sense here.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize from a memory, where i became anxious as I was directing a group of men, where the men stopped working, and I could not get them to continue, and they ignored me, so I went to do the work my self without compliant, and what followed was that one by one the men came and started working and in no time the job was done.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that I am waisting time and breath existing as the mind in feeling like I have too much to do.

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have an attitude of life being difficult because on top of all of this two huge willow trees fell in my yard and now on top of everything else, I have to rent a chain saw and take care of these two trees, when actually going out and spending a day in the yard taking care of these fallen trees can be fun.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my self to  feel that I have to rush, where rushing will end up causing more problems because I will not have been present in common sense in and as the moment and instead be moving my self as “wanting to finish.”

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have the same approach when talking with my mother and father, in wanting results when I am talking with someone who dismisses things they do not know and want to talk about what they know within certain relationships, where they believe there is no connection between politics and finance, for instance, and realize that understanding may not come in one conversation, where simple points can be brought out and left to be continued at a later time.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize I tend to do the same thing I am doing in facing a list of tasks that need to be done with wanting to rush and becoming anxious in finishing said tasks as my behavior, as when I am talking with people, instead of just being ordinary, meaning not having any expectations, not wanting an outcome, expecting and n outcome as this “ironically” dismisses my self from my self as breath and common sense here, where in practical fact , I cannot be here and taking the step by step physical reality of getting a task done, just as when I interact with the words people speak where the words reveal the beliefs, opinions and ideas, that can only be walked through in common sense one step at a time, where if I rush in desire or expectation I miss points, just as I will miss an obvious practical thing to be done in completing a task, where when I miss something I have to go back and start again and this ends up lengthening the duration of completing a task.

I forgive my self for not realizing/seeing /understanding that the word ordinariness gives me the answer, as in doing things in order, which implies that a task can only be walked in order, just as the words in a conversation are a brick wall of understanding and thus the words within a conversation are in an order and that order can be seen, where the task is to take the words/bricks and order them in such a way that what they guide, as create, as “live” when walked in common sense will become living words as what is best for all is the simplicity of an order that is aware of the whole, in consideration of the whole, which is how a task is approached in joy and fun, as simply being one and equal to here.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that I cannot know the next moment until I am here in this moment, thus do I need the ordinary to bring me here, as all as one as equal.

I commit my self to allowing my self to become ordinary.

I commit my self to realizing in every breath, in every moment that there is, as this physical reality only the ordinary.

I commit my self to breathing here in complete ordinariness.

I commit my self to living ordinariness, where the ‘extra-ordinary” accumulates to become what is best for all as what is best for self is what is best for all, as this is what being ordinary practically walked manifests as.

The 7 year journey to nothingness

Self Trust

The Cross