DAY 855 Working on opening the chest of potential as movement within living words.

Here again today I am aware of this “ thickness” in my chest area. This week, in moments of calm, I noticed how distracting thinking is and does? How the movement of the body is more able to respond within realizing solutions - especially within uncovering and connecting within more universal truths, or early acknowledged problems. One is more vulnerable in such a state and sees beyond politically projected belief systems. 

I realize in some respects that finding a point of vulnerability is in itself a greater willingness to face and resolve problems. I can see where going into or forming things in such a way that another is in a more vulnerable state of something I greatly feared - as though such a thing is a taboo. Yet, it is where one is softer, more pliable and therefore more able to LOOK. Allowing vulnerability is opening up changeability- that state of focus the very means of change. I find myself wanting to “ hold” this yet that is the same that leads to a loss of that of which I am speaking. 

It also almost feels like waking up to allow real feeling, and that such that appears to be a place to not go to, is the very same means to open up and remember joy, to re-member PLAY. This also feels unbelievable, or something suppressed. It reminds me of realizing that fear is an illusion. Like there was something there all along that was really a nothing - leaving a sort of neutral shock in its place. It is to  say that chaos blinded simplicity.  Is this a self catching a running train of protections that once realized have no substance? Is this why this appears to be something of such slight difference? In contrast it reveals projections that imbalance the body being the thin-king that they exist within and as? 

There is also a sense that I remember having while walking down a Zurich street back in 1998-1999 of and as “ everything is going to be okay.”  It is to say that discovery is gentle and is absent of an excitatory bling. It is to say a power-vortex has no real power. Somehow, the difference is not YET as clear as it might be but this may be the contrast of having lived in separation.  It is like coming home is great because it has no fanfare. One is simply in grace and that is the real power. Letting go and letting be without apprehension. 

I also sense that I am in a space where a conditioned bounce back wants to happen. There is this constant drive into tension within my chest area. I have been here before. It must be named more clearly, the directions moved as, expressed as able to face the unknown and as the same time have no worry in doing so, or laughing at falling down, much like a child learning to walk. Habits are programming, and programming was practiced and built/accepted/allowed. It is running on automatic - much like our present administrative and government systems. Perhaps those working on change do not realize the extent to which programming is blind to itself. Asking that to stand up and self realize, especially when money determines life is like talking to a huge resonant wall. One must stand equal to it. And one must stand with authority, which has a manner that is sound and stable. It can be heard through the storm - which means it must be said more than three times and consistently, like the 21 day rule for changing a habit.  lol, were school units usually of a duration of three weeks? The system uses the known to program limited and compartmentalized thin-king.  It creates a state of selective reasoning. It becomes a “ state of being.” We do have many talking about the deep state, or statism. How about becoming earthism? which is heartism? They are the same letters. Divide and conquer is done through an ever-so-slight pulling of information threads. It is why the “ veil” is considered to be thin. lol

And this is what it feels like in the body, in my chest, like there are threads pulling my shoulders forward slightly causing a form of a concave chest area. There’s also some pressure around my head, like a cap - lol a caption. Like I said the difference is slight and composed of symbols.  As some have said, we will know them by their symbols. I remember while being in a classroom and this one student staring into space was looking at a screen of subtle neon-like lights. I shut down and walked away. I had no idea how to deal with this at that time- the point here was that it was a bunch of symbols and figures moving around on a projected screen. I mean, what does it mean to sense real movement? Or to model real movement? That question came up so I wrote it out! 

What does it mean to walk with authority, the kind that opens doors without a need for recognition? This makes me want to cry, as a sense of having lost a joy. Like, if I walk in joy, I will be shut down, as it is not allowed.  The sense of wanting to cry being more a loss of this than  and an apology for having given up in some way, or an apology to myself …., and my husband. Deep down it is more that I must forgive myself- that it is okay, that everything is going to be alright. I can walk in joy, I can stop the bounce back into protection or rather “ not upsetting the status quo of separation.” It means to let be and to let go and to recognize running from and running to as being separate from a natural capacity to be present and process what is here. it is okay to be grounded, it is okay to be in recognition of potential and that which is separate from potential.  It is okay to NOT participate in the illusion of bling. It is okay to upset webs without causing harm. Reactions are okay, like the famous “ forgive them for they know not what they do,” or “ care but not that much.” It is okay to LOOK. It is okay to stand using natural senses, as this is necessary to sense the outlines of separate divisions that are of limitation. It is okay to be present and sense this living space.

It is like standing up and falling down, standing up and falling down, standing up and falling down again and again and again, and feeling so tired within doing this. Also, a bit like there is no other place to go but to stand up and fall down as long as it takes. That in itself becomes a belief, limiting focus of the greater whole. This is creating this warm falling sensation in my chest, a warmth of and as it is okay, embrace this and stop seeing ONLY this habit of and as a belief in standing up and falling down, again and again. It is NOT overwhelming to realize this and sense beyond it. In contrast, there is a constant that has a nurturing quality to it, and that is greater than the excitatory sense of having won something. It is like a deep nurturing characteristic of the feminine is absent, that same movement that can simply say sit and the dog will sit.   There is “ here.”  Nothing can define this unless by allowance, here is constant. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel tired in relation to expressing myself in relation to what exists around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that things are impossible, which in itself is a distraction within and as focusing here, in the practical in the physical reality that is life in expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that being is a series of standing up and falling down ONLY.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to live this movement that is in reality a form of self pity, and for this I forgive myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that living in joy, within and as processing the information around me, as that which is limited and of separation from life and that which is here in plain sight as the practical living reality that is physical is not allowed - lol, “ allowed” sound like “ hollowed.” 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to feel

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that death is actually possible, as things are forms and functions, expressions and movements, and though yes, this physical form that  is me, changes, what is real as life, remains, as that is potential of and as creation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself onto thinking only.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to participate within and as what is a false power vortex, as a state of separation from the living reality into and as a limited set body of symbols/ideologies/resonant constructs/imaginations/fantasies/addictions/beliefs etc.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to feel here, to remember here, to respect all things as the physical reality, as this earth, and all that composes this physical living reality called earth

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the depth to which resources of the earth are mis-used to feed an ideological resonant storm of selective reasoning, serving a few, without regard for life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand the extent to which the present system and the technology manifesting that system are a reflection of what humans have accepted and allowed within and as them, here, where the present economic system abuses freely given resources to feed a very limited storied construction lacking recognition of consequences and as such allows an outflow of great instability, causing the friction of polarization manifest as a projection separate from practical living physical reality, here that is lacking in substance and of which consumes the flesh.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear speaking up with specificity about how a Mind Consciousness System is a mind in division of and as resonant constructions layered into the conscious, subconscious, unconscious, quantum mind, quantum physical mind and the physical mind and the beingness programming, which makes sense because what we allow to express us would layer, as we suppress that which is out of sync with this living physical reality, causing blindness as suppression of real sentience, of real seeing here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop suppressing real seeing, within and as recognizing my own behaviors of and as a scattered selective reasoning of limited values, that create energy instead of real livings s being focused and in respect of all things here. 

When and as I find myself becoming tense, becoming tension, of which I slow down and cross reference, with every breath, to read what is here, as the words, to stabilize the words, and model recognition of life, within and as behaviors of grounding myself here, manifest as defining the space, and realizing what balances and lends a self direction of discovery of what has been suppressed through scattered selective reasoning that is heaviness causing and polarizing gaslighting the space here, all an illusion and what may be directed into recognition to then discover a natural ability to be present and to lead to birthing life into the physical, here.

When and as I find myself becoming tense, within and a s my body and my breathing I stop and I slow down, and I assess my own patterns of selective reasoning as value judgements causing a selective reasoning and focus, and I stop as I embrace my own acceptances and allowances and practice redirecting my focus as I call out by name my own characters, and then to assess what is around me, to bring forward actions that balance out inflammatory behavior running on empty, to ground and stabilize in a moment to then calm the immediate space to them realize potential which often is small, as our potential lacks specificity and structure to express itself and be of giving in an expression of and absolute purpose, to stand one and equal to creation here, to build a life on earth that lives the nature of life of and as absolute purpose which by nature, as I see it in this moment, of and as eternal nurturing where a moment of falling down is fun because it means one is closer to understanding how to move as life here. 

When and as I find myself moving into a persona, one that is deep, from that past, of and as “ I am so tired of standing up and falling down,” I stop and I breath, and I realize this belief as a persona, and I stop and I feel my feet on the ground and I look at how I am handling myself here, and how I am focusing my body, from habit, and I breath and I assess and move towards balance, within and as what lends self discovery and that which opens dwors/as movements as words, that bring awareness of all things here as best I can as though all things are me in another life. 

Time and Word Day 805

If I look at the word discipline, it has in its roots the words dis and cipline. The word “dis”  could be “ without”, and “cipline” has “ cip.” “Cip” could be a play with sound as “ cipher.” Which phonetically also sound like “ sigh” which is a form of using breathe which would be a movement of demanding presence in the physical. Cipher is also to cipher something, as though one is decoding something, one is seeing the parts. Thus, a discipline means seeing the parts, as “ of the parts.” It is also, as a relationship of perspective, seeing the polarities within one, the pulls, as a dichotomy of energetic polarities, as judgements about something, that are occupying one’s attention and causing a mis-take in one’s small movements, where, for example, one may resist something in the practical physical reality, in that place where we are as who we are here on earth, as the magic-in-the-doing which takes a discipline of being focused in this reality, and not up there in one’s overblown imagination so propagated in our present system, through the passive indirect instruction model in an isolated environment of our present acceptance-and-allowance system of education creating a passive follower who has practiced spending most of the developing years processing info through the imagination ONLY, causing the con-sequence of so many children having processing disorders, as resonant cognitive disorders, to the extent that when they go out into the world, they feel they do not know anything. And they don’t really know anything because everything they do know is only a picture formed through the imagination ONLY, because it is well known that knowledge and information without application is useless. Faith without command is meaningless, and hope without action is fruitless. One can feel when one is not present, as there is a movement, against being present, because of an occupation of a lack of real relationship and connection with the practical reality, this reality that is a physical reality here. The magic is in the doing of the thing, in the direct relationship with the actual, physical thing that is here in plain sight, this plane of reality called earth. If we have a system where a few have an illusion that they must reorder this reality into some idea they have up in a mis-use of the imagination, they would create a construct of energy, as money, to own freely given resources to move that resource into a likeness within their imaginations, as a resonant blue print that is in itself created from this reality, and yet, is not reality. It is a resonant illusion that is visible by the self because there is a subtle friction around then, just like a bubble, just as a veil. Both of these things acknowledged by many and said, or made clear in various ways, through the ages. If we slow down it is visible. If one slows down, one can hear the static of and as it.  And, if one speaks about it, what one will encounter are a string of excuses, justifications in word, because this is what is being resisted by all, as that same ineffective of use of discipline. And yet, it is a discipline because it is a practice accepted and allowed! It is a practice of focusing on a lack, as believing a ghost in the machine is larger than life. If one has practiced resistance, changing that resonant engrained movement is going to take time and discipline into changing what one has synched one’s self into. It is something that no one, no other person can do for the self. It is something that ONLY the self can do. Another can open doors, being things forward, expose them, yet the self as that which can sense this, is the ONLY one that can create this change. It is taking back the self that is awestruck by the beauty of this living physical reality. 

One can do this through aligning one’s words back down to earth. Meaning synching one’s words with this living reality. This means that when using words, one does not trigger the past, or create a whole personification behind one word, to the extent that one misses what someone says in a conversation, because one has brought up a whole LOONNNGG book as a dualistic story line of good and bad, right and wrong, more and less, as the polarities of charged values that is a state of judgement about things, which is not calling something out by its living name in the physical life where the magic is in the doing. Go and read a comment section on some issue placed in an article on the internet. The value judgement system of and as a mis-use of the imagination is in plain sight! How many comments are of expletives? How many comments are of name calling? How many comments has a label, such as grouping under a name supposing, assuming a set body of ideas around something without looking at what is the real story on the ground? I mean, why are resources flowing out of resource rich countries while aid to disenfranchised people appears to always have some delayed response with a whole chain of justification from a bureaucracy which is all of us as human kind not being responsible to this reality! Since life is so abundant around us, the way to avoid it is to practice repressing it, resisting it, hiding from it, which takes a practice, which is a discipline, and is that of destruction, lol, de-struction, meaning to resist the structure of life, right here, right in front of us. Remember the resonant veil, the resonant state created from limitation as selecting limited value, that one could only have chosen from the physical.  And we wonder why our bodies are losing intercellular communication, which is a state of dis-ease, because one has resisted that which would place one at ease, which is to respect all things to take that which is good and does no harm, which is the golden rule, which is living a solution oriented mind-set. If it is complicated, which is an excuse, then one is most likely not present, not disciplined in reality. 

I came across a set of words in Thomas Paine’s Common Sense, as “ they will fast my time”.  This was supposedly a response from the surrounding men at the time of the incidence, of and as “ that his measures were only of temporary kind.”  In this, the suggestion of “ fasting my time” within one’s time being a measure, as one’s words, I could see the relationship of words as being time, which is measure. Thus, when one’s words are of value judgement, one is fasting one’s time to a limited structure, which can be a lie-by-omission, as not being the whole story, not being a full investigation into and has what is here, what is real, what is being done in practical ways with freely given resources. In how we use words, we can fashion a time, that is not in synch with reality. It becomes obvious. It renders what is considered “ magic” as a slight of hand as words as measure as creating alternate realities of time sequences of ideas, beliefs and opinions that bear no witness to this reality, leading to mis-takes that cause harm to this physical reality, as a loss of respect to working with who and what we are as physical beings on a physical planet. For this same reason, many have said that religion is the means of creating separation from reality. It has been said that the positivity cult, of hoping and being a dreamer of a “ good” will somehow change what can only change through practical application, through a discipline of working with what is here, and aligning one’s words where each and every word one speaks, has a direct relationship to the physical living qualities of this living reality. Were this to happen there would be no reason for inequality, no room, no space, no time in divisions constructed from environments made ritual, turned into traditions superseding reality, as what is in plain sight. We humans are not in synch with this living reality, our problems stem from this state of separation that is visible in the very words we speak, because we can only speak of our experiences. If our experiences, as what we have lived, are of a discipline of justifying our own separation from reality, that is all we can speak, and thus it can be heard. No one is fasting our time but ourselves, and this is done with measure, with time, with and as the very words we speak. 

One must rescript one’s self back into this living reality, to be in time with creation, resonant as one’s words being in time with creation, with here, with life. This movement has that gentle quality, that grace of creation, the real power of presence that has a consequence of doing no harm, as respecting all things, as taking substantiating actions that are always a

relationship to realizing there are no problems, and instead only solutions. Punishment is not education. Only that movement, acceptance and allowance, of what is best for all is the choice.