Day 435 Are you an automaton or are you here aware of the whole?

I remember correcting state writing tests for a school district of seventh graders. So, I sat at a table and corrected the writing of many seventh graders for a couple of days. The words passed by me all day.

Within this there were many forms placed on the paper by each child in this grade level. There was one group of essays that had a pattern, that pattern became obvious because it had more structure than the other papers. A teacher had really taken the time and practiced with the children a simple essay format: the opening statement and the supporting details. The body of the paper fleshing out each point in the opening paragraph. So, the opening paragraph was a perspective given.

Within this, it was easy to see which children could plug in a perspective and support and then flesh this out. There were degrees of difference within this spanning the whole gamut of the stages of development.

Usually, the papers that filled the structure with words I found cool because they completed the order. But when I compared them to what was being said within other papers where there was incomplete order as in building the from of the essay to completion was the perspectives given.

Some of the children built “ thin” statements but completed the template, meaning they had words to place in the form, but the perspective was not encompassing, meaning it did not engage me, it was a common perspective. There is nothing wrong with this, especially at this level because the child is learning to build within a proscribed form, so to take what is known and to use it is fine within learning a new form.

Some children stopped after the topic sentence, moving beyond this was difficult for them. And since this is a process, obviously these children need more support within getting beyond inhibition, getting beyond being overwhelmed with this task. 

Then there were children that could write a topic sentence that was an eye-opening perspective. So “ new “ to me I was astounded. Just reading that first line, the words was like a “ whole new world” so to speak. And often these children had a hard time fleshing this out. This varied by degree too. Some could not move beyond that first paragraph, some had very weak supporting paragraphs.

It was interesting that the papers that were given an ‘A” because they fulfilled the volume of a learned order as a form as the essay, often did not say anything new, even the information was following an established perspective. These papers were praised, not only for their completed form but for the perspective given. Had these children simply learned the perspective as well as the use of words and the conceptual ability to hold a form that orders? What was it about these children that gave perspective that was refreshing but not carried through placed into the structure. Is this that the child that had completed the paper had the time to practice their perspective and thus have easy feed back because the perspective was a norm? Had those children with perspectives that were like a window was being opened, not been allowed to flesh out their perspectives in real life, in ordinary talking, interacting life? Were they stagnant through dis-allowance of their very way of seeing the world in expression on a day to day basis. Had they ever been listened to, and thus practice building their perspective. Or, was their perspective not really heard because it was by degree an  encompassing insight that did not fit the proscription of the norm, and thus even teachers could not conceptually move and direct within this with ease, nor parents and thus the child had no practice, no follow through with their sight about the world?

If that “A” paper is of an accepted order, not good or bad, but conditioned, and all the adults follow this as a norm, and this becomes automated, like a metaphysical guidance system, would it not be difficult to recognize other perspectives? Because in essence what I am saying is that perceptually most of us follow a proscribed order, the one taught to such an extent that conceptually moving out of this is not a movement within us done with ease. A few can do this, but this few are very few, most of us are egotistical and want our perspective to be the only one, not realizing that there is value in our perspective but it is not the only way to see. Thus we are so busy doing this, or following the proscribed order just to get through the day, because we have some worry on our minds, that when a child comes with a new perspective, we cannot see it, because we are automated within a limited view, we are essentially stagnant, and this has become a habit. This in itself is a crime, because it is a state that does not see beyond limited prescription, and thus that child’s voice, that child’s eye opening perspective, is not listened to. Now, what does this eventually do to that child? Do they ever have the chance to build on their perspective? No. Would they become confused and withdrawn. Yes. Would they have ever practiced moving their perspective through to completion, have the practice to follow through. No. Would they become frustrated and withdrawn and eventually seek something to ease that expression that has not been allowed to be released in other ways? Would they by the time they get to middle school have developed habits of giving up? Just as those who follow the proscription develop habits of not seeing anything else other than that proscription that gets the “A” because it is the norm and touted enough and accepted enough within interaction that its practice is available? In both scenarios, we see where we become automated. Thus knowing we become automated, it is obvious that we stop using our conceptual ability, and this act is a crime against the development of ourselves and our children. It is unacceptable. And it means that each needs to make an effort to self realize our own levels of automation. And it also means that we have to be very careful of what we teach because what we teach will become automated to some degree, unless we realize we become this and remain aware of this as we face the world. A human living in automation is a human who has rejected conceptual ability, is a stagnant human, and as we can see with our children, an abuse to the very voice of that child and probably those with whom we have relationships with.

Now, there is this boy who I see walking up and down my street almost every day.  A good looking boy, had a job, must have been in his twenties. Quiet, polite. His hair was always in his eyes, his clothes put together. There was never conversation between us, except for the occasional greeting when my dog happened to run up to him.

This summer this boy died from an overdose. I had to ask myself what lead to this young man being responsible, and yet incommunicative with the general society choosing to basically commit suicide in taking drugs that I am sure he understood to cause himself harm. Was it that this boy never had the opportunity to really speak, to really express his perspective? Was his silence because he had spoken up for years as a child, to teachers and parents and society that moved as an automated limited perspective that never answered/responded/looked at what he was saying, his speaking really a gift as it was an inclusive perspective about life, yet because it did not match what is really extremely limited perspectives taught in a classroom where knowledge and information is imparted but never practically lived thus never substantiated thus this formation in itself not allowing any other perspective to be discovered because it is only presentation as idea? And if we become automated, we begin to believe that this is the only perspective, despite our full awareness , if we read the news, that this physical world is not taking care of this earth, thus our perspectives are limited and do not answer to this physical world, and that child, that boy, perhaps her had a perspective that was a piece of what was missing in our automated understanding, a perspective that would open up our conceptual understanding of this world, to such an extent that the abuse going on in this world would diminish simply by adding the perspective of this human, this man, this child, this expression of life, this piece of earth, this being that is here and thus a support for the whole, as in all actuality, creation would only form a structure as that which supports it. Thus, it is only the blueprint created by the human on top of physical reality that is the problem. It is limited and thus in its limitation destructive, and the self direction from this blueprint without the use of the common sense that built this blueprint in every breath, creates a destructive automaton that destroys through dis-allowance of the voice of ALL of our children.

And we wonder why there are so many behavioral problems in middle school. Perhaps it is simply that it is impossible for these children to fit into such a limited design.

Go and try to correct a large group of  seventh grade papers, and see if you move as judgement within an automated proscription or if you can manage to see the whole,  to see that something is seriously limiting expression within these children. Many of whom have a voice that is astounding, but not allowed practice and development just because it does not fit into a limited prescription.  Try and see/realize your own automation and thus lack of common sense use, this that enables a more inclusive conceptual ability, this being seeing the movement and the form, the process and the outcome, all while remaining aware of the movement and formation of the actual real physical world, in being able to perceptually move within different perspectives, not being afraid to leave the automation behind. Look to your own negative statements of reprimand and your automation self supporting statement of positive reinforcement, caught in this one is not seeing what is here for what it is but flowing a prescription of limited awareness, a detriment to our children, those who by their very voice, have no voice and thus choose what is given, a death of themselves simply because they do not fit a limited set of knowledge and information given without physical experience, the perfect medium to diminish life and only allow that which serves a lesser god of profit before life, this giving what supports life in abundance to a few instead of valuing all life as being the gift, as being what would be supportive of this physical world.

So, the question. Are you an automaton or are you life? If you really look at yourself, more than likely you will realize how much of an automaton you really are.

There are solutions to this at a very basic practical level, to get us away from being automatic as a response. This is changing the system to one that allows change within implementing what allows more perspective in this world and thus more consideration and thus more common sense, more conception that is equal to the without as the world in totality. This is a Living Income Guarantee. This ends the limited viewpoint that some are more than others, and would allow more perspective voice and thus more children the ability to practice their uniqueness, which in essence  are the real gifts, we need only accept them as they allow us, each of us to expand our conceptual ability in becoming equal and one to and as life, here on earth, this cutting edge of creation that is simply the joy of being. Anything else is a crime. That is common sense.

Day 333 Hiding behind the Spider web of self interest in profit. A system of inequality

In high school I had to take this test in 10th grade. It was a test given by the state that one had to pass in order to pass out of high school. I, and my peers were told once we passed the test we did not have to take it again. I passed and so did my friends. In 11th grade we had to take this again, I asked why, I did not want to go and sit in a room for three hours again to take a test I had been told I passed. But I went. In 12th grade we were required to take this again. This time I refused, I had decided not to go and I told my friends. They all reacted, I told them that we were being asked to take the test again to “ beef up” the passing scores for the city of New York, and that this was not a good idea because it hid what was really happening. My friends told me that I had to take the test and that I would get in trouble if I did not take the test. I told them that I could not get in trouble because I had taken the test and passed. So the day came and I did not go, and I remember being really shaky about it, I was scared but I was also “ in-sensed” because somehow this was not helping what was going on and hiding what was going on by having everyone who passed retake the test made no sense. And, interestingly, my friends reacted with such fear as well, they just went and did it, but their reactions to me deciding to not go, were extreme, I am seeing my “ best” friend’s face now, here, her eyes got big and she looked scared.
Anyway, in New York, I was at a disco and that spring I had started to take valiums on the weekends, I had stopped playing the violin, just enough to get by. One night, and this is something, a memory, that i refer back to a lot even before desteni, I am sitting in the hood of a car on a New York city street and the bouncer - who we are friends with- comes around with the pills, I stop, I look at him, I look at the pill in his hand, I say no and walk away. I go home and that is the end of this life. I remember thinking, “ this is not life, this is not what i choose” which is interesting because when I found M, the words in my head, the thought that i had, was “ how can this be life?” “ Why is this a choice”
Walking down the street in New York I also remember looking at the backs of people, I have no clear thought here, I just remember walking around looking at the posture and backs of people, this is just something that was always there, like an undercurrent question, like “ something is there” unformed but present.
After leaving the “ social/modeling” scene I spent time alone and I felt awkward being alone. I even went to the movies alone. I think I had the thought that I am alone. I did not know where to go, I just knew I did not want to be in “ that scene”.
I did not talk with my parents about any of this. We had two apartments in New York, my parents had one, and my sisters and I had another. And with my “ new” brother” it was like it was two separate worlds, going to my parents apartment felt like I was invading their space, and my father was emotionally unstable, the slightest thing seemed to “ set him off” so we stayed away, and I think my mother was so engrossed in my brother and work she simply did not have the time to pay attention to my sisters and i. She was there, she would check on us, but she was no longer as watchful as she had been.
So, my “ righteousness” about the system started here, during this period, high school. And the fear when deciding to do something, right or wrong” started here, as this shaky feeling when I decided not to participate in the test score scam. And the rage at this one modeling party where I had accompanied my sister and started to speak out really loudly at the party and made the modeling people angry, and that was the end of that, my sister was told I could no longer accompany her. I can’t even remember what I did, i just remember being in the bathroom feeling really frustrated.
And then this “ being alone” not wanting to go back and not knowing where to go. I eventually found a “ new friend” and we would read plays and wonder around New York. Her family life was a mess. But I won’t go into this here. I did not like going to her loft in soho, because it was a mess, and her mother, who had evidently written for the VillageVoice in it feminist hey day, had lost it, she spent her days wondering around New York buying used clothes and hanging them on garment district racks that were in the apartment. I remember her brother kicking his Hispanic girl friend like she was a “ dog” one day. SO, here basicallyI went from one set of abusive behaviors to another. I think the shock of, “ is this really happening’ numbs me at first and then I realize I have to get myself out of this situation, it is unacceptable.
It is like this with this man I dated. He would stare at women, really looking possessed. Like he was hot “ here”. One time he said to me, don’t mind me I am just being a man.” Iaccepted this, thought I had to be patient, but this was not acceptable, for him and /or for me. I had to leave even thought i did not want to, even though I tried to talk about it with him.
I tried to explain this in different ways, and what happened is that he got mad, and started to be more distant from me. That was the answer. More hiding.
It is like we all see what is going on, but if we try an talk about it there is push back. Even if this is done in calm , with gentleness, there is reaction, as though letting go ofaddictions/ideas is tantamount to death. lol
So, this is what there is to forgive, within and without, as the allowance and acceptance in separation from here into and as a mind imagination, a fantasy, a dream scape, this is what is “backing” man, this is the MCS.
So, our fantasies are hiding our fears. And somehow I make this fantastic, and it need not be, there is the ability of myself to see this in common sense without the ambiguity of unaware space. I jump from the systemic patterns that I have seen, blaming the system without looking at the monetary side of this. Later in my twenties I happened on a book about soils, I thought it was a novel and it was about the earth, here I realized that systems were not doing what was best for the soil, and this lead into something else that started in high school - that I could not eat sugar- this and the book about soils, lead into paying more and more attention to food and health, which lead me to the point where I realized the medical industry was not concerned with health, they were concerned with profits. I had read some conspiracy theories that the governments wanted to decrease the population. And though this might have been true and/or is true, going around saying this to the people in my world was not going to work, it would not be believed.
It was not too long after Kevin Trudeau and another company that was using resonant projections from a machine, modeling homeopathy that I found desteni. This is all another level of what brought me here. The side of the behaviors around me, instead of the “ white light’ inner things going on.
I/we have to go beyond limited understandings in order to realize what is actually happening here. So, ambiguity has to be walked into understanding through forgiveness to what is here as how the physical functions. Within allowing ambiguities to warp us into a cognitive dissonance, making connections that are limited, mapped into mind, and the outcome is a lack of common sense.
The fantasy world of our desires, are our escapes, our escapades into mind, of lesser understanding, limited insight, this has to be brought back here, down to earth. The form of earth is many men on the surface of this earth. It is many men, together who organize this earth, thus a separating/dividing system would voice the idea of a superhero, a “ one” that would come and solve all the problems on earth, because this would create those questioning, the human who is able to realize something is “not right” into a state of waiting. Thus the idea of a super hero, a savior, is to have the human wait for a change coming from one thing despite the common sense of the form on earth of many men working together as how things are done and organized. The being of self as wanting a superhero, a “ one” is self lost in a fantasy as an idea that waiting is okay. Thus “ waiting” is an indoctrination, a by product of the belief system of there being a ‘One” or a super hero. The collective as the human, as man is the “One” that can reorganize this world into all being able to understand the life that we are composed of, which is more than able to self realize because this is what we are! Duh.
Why would Monsanto want what it does to be hidden, using “trade secrets “ and patent “laws” to say that its information is “ private”. It cannot be private if the effects are public! And the fact that this information is being hidden, has the supposed “ need” to be hidden, as non transparent, is saying loud and clear that there is omission, that what is being done within these hidden practices is not what is best for all. If something were non destructive in any way, it would not need to be hidden. Thus the behavior of Monsanto is revealing its awareness of its abuse and the effects it will have on the public.
This, in tandem with the collectively believed idea of a superhero despite the obvious physical fact of how the physical earth world functions, that being many men working together being the means of accomplishment of working with earth, inhibits the collective from standing up within behaviors that are actually telling us that something is not what is best for this earth.
Our governments are no longer working for us. This does not mean that all government workers are “ bad” they are simply afraid to say anything for fear of losing their jobs, and or so caught up in the process of self interest for the few, that they cannot see the forest through the trees. No matter where one is, one can contribute to the change that is needed. One can remain in their job and monetarily give, support a system that puts and end to all this hiding and hero worship, as it has not changed this world, it is the cause of the problem of inequality. What is of value is self as life, here. Let’s create a system that is the manifestation of this, a system that supports all life, that ends hiding and war, that uses the form and function of earth to build a world that is best for all, using what is here that is real, the hands, the many hands of men. Anyway, it would actually be a lot of fun. Much better than all this stress and worry and addictions that are never satisfied. Imagine being able to use your common sense, and be here, helping and giving and no longer needing to hide your SELF here. This is Equal Money, this is realizing the common sense of life, here.