Day 370 The grid of separation

It is interesting to build a map of a presentation within myself, I see so much of where I emotionally wander off, things distorting what I am trying to build, fears, paranoias that I have to look at and bring back to myself. This also brings ups memories of the past, those times when I asked questions, that also had judgments attached as I placed a morality of my culture onto them, not walking through the judgment, just remaining within blame and superiority. Sometimes I questioned.

I had gone back to university as an adult. I had to work with young adults in groups. One time, this one young adult worked on a project with myself and two others. She could not write an outline. What she did was place information on the computer and then reorganize it. She could not create a structure of the information in her head. She said that she had a learning disability and was officially dyslexic. I was astounded. We never really discussed anything, we simply took bits of information and reordered them on the computer. When this was done our group interaction, event, was done. It was like we clung to the words on the page, using ONLY this, no discussion or  physical real life application/consideration.

This is similar to not looking at what money has become, meaning what money represents and the system of money as being a piece of paper given a value that has no common sense of it being a secondary point to what is real, the physical world and how the physical world is the real support, and the money is a condition placed onto this world by men.

Gathering knowledge and information in and of itself is not bad, it is a starting point, but when it is all that is used within determinations, it is like using words on a page only, like the words are god, and the real world has nothing to do with it, which is so obviously a disconnect from reality.

And yet, a smoke screen system of division and conquest in self interest, such as our present system where much of this physical world is disregarded, and a few have again used a secondary condition of signing their names on paper, making a declaration of ownership real in opposition to reality, and thus to life, we can begin to realize that we have made a screen or piece of paper that voice of reality, a voice in complete ignorance of the physical world.

If all eyes are on what is on a piece of paper, then the real physical world can be taken from under our feet, and we will be so busy looking at that info on that secondary plane, that we do not notice reality. Such an existence really has no substance, nothing real to stand on, and all lack of ability within building a “ real” understanding and insight to what is real is removed. We have abdicated ourselves as our physical selves, and for this we will suffer our separation, thus one cannot blame anyone but oneself, as one in a human physical body has the gift of life as the physical with them in every moment, with every breath. The choice is to allways, look in totality with the physical at the physical world, not only at the knowledge and information on the paper, this is simple common sense. So, pointing out discrepancies within what is placed on paper, will upset the system people, the people within the administrative points on this grid of review of words on paper only, because it means that physical person must stand and look at the physical world, and turning from the smoke screen and mirrors of the limited knowledge and information placed on that paper means one might lose their job, because the system we have accepted and allowed in totality serves a few who believe themselves superior and deserving of more, and then have more pieces of paper than others, so thus they control through limitation. and we all accept and allow this, because we have been taught in a system built from who gives the most pieces of paper. And only a few, who have more, have the papers to peddle in their own self interest.

Within what is placed as knowledge and information on paper, one must take that which is good, and to do that one needs a cross reference with the actual physical world.

Here one need only study what is happening within the fracturing debacle or the GMO bullying going on by the few who has lead us to believe that a statement on a piece of paper has more value than actual physical reality. Statements on paper that are then hidden within more statement on paper a laws, such as trade secrets, a complete scam of self interest only. The same who support what is taught in our educational systems - which is another story/stories construct of smoke and mirrors! And yet, as within so without. We are to blame. We allowed it, we made it hallowed ground! Humanity is simply walking as one giant separation from life, and this young adult is the product of our accepted and allowed separation. A dis-located lexicon of limited knowledge and information, serving a god of greed, and the answer , the solution is to LOOK at the actual physical world. And this physical world is what our paper world is directing us from, is not allowing, has hidden in payers of bureaucracy - this a crime against life. And the people composing the bureau are in a craze of survival.

 This child of earth, I remind myself is me, and I am her. We are the same. We are formations of life, forms that believe we are the end all be all, when we are not. We are a part of the whole as earth as the physical, and this is what is real.

Anyway, the behavior of this girl has good and misdirection within expression. Yes, we look out at the world, not the screen/paper only, and we reflect in equality and oneness with the actual physical, as though the physical is the real map of life, we become equal within to the without as the actual real physical world. This way, this girl, this young adult , can see how the real physical world moves and is. So, perhaps her dyslexia is simply caused by this disconnect, and her inability to “ read” is that she really has not enough to create any understanding of real substance! There is nothing real to hold onto, thus she cannot create any structure within her mind and must cling to words on a page and the ensuing fears as thoughts emotional and feelings of limited design, insubstantial, judgmental. This is a mechanism of behavior that is of complete separation from life, complete instability. How can someone actually teach children with such limited development and physical connection? They cannot. And yet, this is what the system is presently teaching! This child does not have the ability to deal with words, she has no ability to play with these lego blocks of communication. She has no real integration with the parts, she has no real skill with working with the starting point of sound. She works with ambiguous statements only, and cannot order them because she does not have a direct connection with the actual physical substance of life.

Within the fracturing abuse to earth, I have heard farmers whose land is destroyed speak with the industry and the energy industry simply says, “ hire a lawyer and sue us” and the industry, that which allows a debt system, where the debt is on the people and the principle is with the banks, do not naturally have the money to sue. And meanwhile, the government has removed the offices of environmental agencies, and or diminished them to such an extent that there is not ability of the office worker to work through all the paper work - which in itself is vast and meant to never go anywhere, as another worker up the ladder ignores what it cannot solve, which might lead to losing a job if something is realized as not making any sense. Thus the whole system is layered in such a way to not allow the actual physical world to be the point of scrutiny, and we are all to blame, as we have voted in the present representatives, and we have allowed money to determine life, and we have allowed usury, so when we fall, we have no power to deal with this, and this is of our own making. The way to stop all of this, to allow those on the grid with some common sense left to be able to point out what makes no sense and/or connection with the actual physical world, the opportunity to stand, is to vote in a system, to place policies that give all the means, with what we have accepted, as money, to have basic living needs met. To be able to stop and breath, to  remove the consequence of survival, and realize that life is right here in front of us as the physical and that it functions in supportive ways if we allow it, work with it, read it, become one with it, as what we are for real. Hiding the effects of abusive fracturing practices is ourselves destroying ourselves, even for those materially benefitting, you are destroying yourself, as you are not equal and one to the physical world in common sense, you have allowed ideas and pieces of paper to become more real than what is real, the physical. STOP. As long as we all adhere to only the words on a page, the symbols on paper, we are actively choosing to ignore life, this which we are, with every step with every breath, because when our physical bodies end we end, So what we do determines the life after us, the life of the children to come. Thus we are responsible for this earth, and it is our responsibility to ensure that this home is in order before we leave, in consideration of those who come after us. We would not like the  suffering and survival existence we have lived to be what our children live, so it is time to stop the mind fed with limited knowledge and information, and to create a system that acknowledge the actual physical world, as this is what is real.

Lets create a world where our young people learn to align themselves within the substance of the actual real physical world, so that they may be able to stand in equality and oneness with and as life, as this is the gift of life. Our children, our young people as life deserve to stand as the living word, and not the cry of dyslexia, isn’t this what you would want for yourself and your children?

Equal Money. Remove inequality, place in Equality

Realign yourself to life, Desteni I Process  DIP Lite Free!

Interviews about the structure of the mind consciousness system and  how our separation/fear/paranoia functions

Journey to Life Blogs

Day 243 What is being "irritation"?

Irritation
What is “being” irritation?
Irritation is a response of no movement, of no ease, of conflict. A “stop”. A loss of breath. An “ I don’t know where to go”, or a “I can’t move”, and/or “ I can no longer see what is here.”
Auditioning comes up for me. I specifically remember auditioning for a group, and immediately, as I walked in the room and began to play, I could not play; what had been so easy at another audition was tense and unmoving within this one. I must have been about 17, maybe 16.
I remember this so well - or so I believe, because I have questioned it for years- in other words sought answers. I remember standing there, being distant, and I remember the manner and ways of the jurors. Even this brings up recently going for interviews for jobs, and I went to many, as I had the perfect paper work, but the minute I walked through the door and across the room towards the interviewer, the reaction and judgement was already set - or so I believed.
Someone told me it was reverse snobbery, as where I live and the field I entered had the local regional accent, and this profession was filled with this: I lacked this accent.
It was not so with all interviews. There were two that wanted to hire me, but it was far away and I choose the stability of where I am for the children. Right or wrong, it’s done, I can only move from here.
My manner and words, did not fit, were not easy and comfortable for the person interviewing me. And, as with this audition, I can remember walking in and shutting down, even within being nervous, as I had been nervous about auditions and not clamped up when the time came. But this is part of being a player, in no matter what situation, the playing had to be constant, and I was not. So, no matter what I deserved what I got.
I also had to learn to read scores, orchestral scores and play them on the piano, I practiced this a lot, and sometimes it began to move. I knew I would be nervous, so I practiced to move within this nervousness. I didn’t make it, when I sat down for the test at the piano, I froze, couldn’t see the orchestral score, and thus could not play the score on the piano. For some reason I passed the class, and to this day I do not know why. I really did not deserve this, even though I had practiced it a lot. When performance time came I froze.
I think it was a little while after this that I just stopped one day and said I was so fucking sick and tired of being this fear that I forced myself to play openly more. I went to recitals at other schools and I watched, I watched the focus, to imitate it, my thinking was, how the hell is this done, it was like I wanted to see how it was done, because I thought, this can be done, so it is here.
I stumbled a lot over the years, but slowly the devil of fear began to be controlled. But there are other factors, a husband dying, when the music world was beginning to open up - after my children had reached an age of greater autonomy and I had stepped back into the field more, where I made the choice to return to my country of origin because being away at night and hiring help seemed too difficult, this after the death of my husband.
I remember one of the last gigs I played, the certainty within playing was a joy. Even the conductor came to my home to support me within the death of my husband. And conductors do not do that unless they gain something. Part of me was going, on the inside, fuck, should I stay or should I go.
On another front, in another facade, there was a residual doubt from the past within ability, but even here the lifestyle seemed too uncertain and difficult being a single mom.
The undercurrent of self judgement, the “state” of separation, the cause of not being present. The fear made bigger, as a judgement of loss and or gain, where the loss is hidden through attempting to make the choice a beautiful outcome. Self justification. Self interest.
Would learning to see the blueprint of the mind, and thus making this blueprint of fear smaller, where the parts were seen for what they are, prevent such happenings, as not being able to direct self within communication with others? Within practical understanding of the emotional/feeling alignments connecting, as system of compounded value judgements within culture, class, gender, age, race, regional accent, style as taught within generational back ground and world exposure to varying stylistic mannerisms regionally being made into values of more than and less than, a bling of presentation, be what is energetically valued instead of common sense in and as words within a clear detailed directive, concise and simple, without endless chattering embellishments of happy face drama, going on and on and on without really saying anything? And imagine this being what is used, by many that are simply the gargoyles of the gate, a facade of talk about how a-mazing this is and how amazing that is, on and on and on, in a way, slowing things down, creating a giant HallMark moment, where the initial task is all but forgotten. Interesting that the term is “ Hall Mark” moment. Building the defense/protection wall, as a hall, as a layer, confining the initial directive. No one gets through here, is really what the happy face, “ let’s talk about how amazing and wonderful everything is,” is about. Programmed behavior to move within the maze that is the system of inequality, stepping up a ladder of relationships to survive, ignoring the view as life, not working with the substance supporting the maze.

I remember sitting in an office, waiting for an interview. The secretary, and another visiter - a young girl who had just finished her education degree- were talking about how wonderful the children were, how wonderful the teachers were, on and on and on. And the girl visiter interspersed things she had experienced within getting her degree. So, I perked up and joined in - to see what would happen - and within my conversation I named dropped etc. - I wanted to interrupt the pattern, because honestly, I felt like I was listening to a Liszt piece, the same phrase, over and over again, the same embellishments again and again, like the verbal diarrhea was extremely tasteful, and comforting. I guess this is how the game is played, happy face your way to the bank.
It is like a torture session. And in some way, this emotional happy face “water torture” must be used and not be of self as what self is, as being within the system but not of the system. THis point of realizing it is just water/energy in and as no substance ( and this is within the context of water being a symbol of emotion as what i have been taught). In many ways it is like being able to read an orchestral score and playing the parts all at once, as in seeing the blueprint of the mind, and how this can be a directive, when, it is to see this as a maze, as a display of parts from the totality as the substance of life, as the nothing, rendering this irritation, as energy, as judgement, small, so that the score is readable, and thus renderable to and towards what is best for all, as the embellishment is not good or bad, it simply needs direction within what is best for all.
Thus, there is nothing to fear within this, as the physical is here, as life, showing the way to what works absolutely through form and function, and the vertigo in the chest need not be the directive as it is only a score of the present system which can be flooded with common sense as the principle of what is best for all to prevent the separation from self as life.