Day 656 Information is not free, yet information is free.

In the last days I notice a growing loopy-ness, as I call it. Meaning, I have a sense of not being grounded, present, here.

It feels like there are too many things to juggle at the moment, like I am pulling stings and balancing them out.

I watch for self pity, blame, spite, anger, anything that does not move into solution, as in bring clarity and discernment in removing discord and stabilizing in ease, as in not having to uphold a lie. In this, I begin to realize what I speak must stand on its own. The value being in the words being a structural guidance that never falters. What I construct with my words, can lye within what is eternal so I never have to go back and correct. It is to say what I mean and mean what I say.

In a world where emotions of value judgement elongate in space and time, and move into nouns, like a ‘ now’ that is not here, and this ‘ noun ‘ is believed to bring renown, I at times, lose all patience. And then I feel like I am beginning to move into some soupy area some might call airy fairyness .

This comes up when I mention music. I find that within this, I open a door to another giving me their story about how they wished they had studied music, or how they played an instrument and, often, gave up. It appears to me to take a really long time to have to listen to this. And, as I say these words, I remember all those times after a performance when I encountered the audience and the long stories and praise about the music and their own relationships with music. At times, after years, I wanted to gag. Here, in my thirties, I realized that it had nothing to do with some talent or some specialness, it was having walked a process, a practice of measuring within the necessary steps towards becoming aware of the means to an end as a physical action right in front of me. the only thing ‘ blessed’ about this is the magic in doing.

I can also relate this to education, to the current pyramid scheme of information access. The information around us is like a song, it moves at a certain measure, a certain beat. What is free, as in our public schools is not really free, and the measure is one of information flow that is extremely slow, metered out over time, as though the metering of information is paid out in relation to access. The more access to information, the more one pays. 

Even within class structures this is true, as the more access to others with more access to greater measure, which is greater understanding, the more variations one is exposed to, and the greater the vocabulary one has - as in the greater exposure one has. Thus, what appears to be cheap, is cheap, within and as its very measure of information. One could say, that lesser measure of information is inflated in time and space, metered out, over a greater extent of time, acclimating one to that measure, until it is believed to be a truth. In this we program the physical with what measure of exposure we can pay for. This is how a ‘ good’ as public school education can appear to be beneficial, yet it is not. Were public school beneficial, we would not have the growing elephant in the room, as the varying degrees of attention deficit dis-orders. Ironic how in our words we tell ourselves what we are accepting and allowing. And, our religiously indoctrinated minds, take what we accept and allow through admission, and instead of looking at what is measurably right in front of us, as space and time, we reject investigation, or if we do, we fear to stand, as I have, and instead become reactions of blame. And yet, on some level, this act of blame is an act of crying a measure and then voicing it, where the listener must have great patience for the storm to pass, a storm of limitation, and then direct, giving into the elongated structure and bringing it back into a practice that grounds in common sense, as this is the way and the means to giving as one would receive, which is to give the measurable means to self responsibility. Some will choose the storm of their separation, not yet able to hear though the resonant dissonance.

If we become what we think about, we program our physical bodies, resonantly. I mean, there are cultures of people that believe if a man sleeps with a woman, that that woman is then dirty. In a way this is an admission that we program our bodies resonantly. In this example there is another layer, that if the man is the one who has slept with the woman, than that man is the cause of that considered-to-be-what-dirties the woman. Yet, this whole system of circular thought shows how twisted the mind and its justifications can be- and even made into a truth by the victors that is then programmed into a culture, a measure, a data that builds a societal structure that is obviously not what is best and disrespectful of physical living- that physical living that can be programmed. Obviously, this cultural ‘ truth’ is creating an inferior object through projection of a series of words/measure configured and repeated until it is believed to be a truth, the real action a rejection of self responsibility by the real actor as the screamer, the screamer appearing superior ( yet the more immediate cause of the problem) hiding by projection without onto another object, that object then taking the blame. Somehow, were we not shown this in Machiavellian thought?

I can see all those smoky snakey shadows that move like a mirage through space and time, hearable through the measure as the words, where I lose my patience and start to feel loopy. I become a judgement of a judgement.  I begin to get caught up in the storm of separation.

My response to this, over all, is that what is real, as the physical is really free, it is right here in front of me. It is creation information. It is of a stable measure, even if it is cluttered with the resonance of separation as the self interest of men, of myself as I react to limitations around me that are a lack of real self responsibility.

In some way, I could look at this as having to move through a value system that is in self interest, a rest in a measure that is believed to be freely chosen, when it is a choice to use measure to hide from practice into an inflation of one aspect. At, times, during quartet rehearsals, I had to direct back into playing, because avoidance often took time through endless quibble about one aspect of the music being performed. 

It took time for me to admit that I did this too sometimes. In the end it is how I learned to see the measure around me, because I had done the same, thus I could not blame, because it might potentially reveal that I was, or had done, the same. lol This creates a silent smokey snakey storm within me, one that I hide through distraction without, or silence myself to remain in the background, praying that no one sees, my prayers like the wizard of oz curtain that I stand behind turning knobs to make my physical body appear to be calm. And meanwhile, I am no longer in the practice of living, respecting the actual physical world. I have become what I despise in others.

Last week I worked with two children. Both were initially reluctant. Then they began to open up. Until we went into reading. Then time and space changed, everything slowed way down and information started to move very very slowly. I wanted to reach out my hand and cut through the mirage. I realize I am this a lot of the time too. The best way to describe this, at this moment, is varying degrees of pressure.

And then, as the information begins to flow, the child opens up, becomes more at ease. More openly shares themselves as though the joy of living has somehow come back. The passage is reread. What I notice here is a sense that the words suddenly are filled with a clarity that has the child sensing that they read slower than they initially read, when what has happened is that space of clarity has brought an abundance of life back into their awareness and they are reading with less stutter and more fluid speed. It is like opening up a portal to life within them.

Thus, when I begin to feel that I am becoming loopy, I have to stop, and realize that I can change into the loop - so to speak- and become it for a moment, sort it out, and take that which is desired, ultimately by all, as becoming a portal to life, and take too elongated inflated values and place them into a practical measure that directs in ways that consider all things and grounds oneself here, to see the real measure of reality as the physical and an understanding that we are creators, be it to create a smokey snake valley of smoke and mirrors, or to participate in real abundance as the real physical world that is freely given as life information in expression right here in front of us, as us, and surrounding us in every way, always, here. 

Know your caged mind, and that from which it is composed, to open yourself as life to equality and oneness with and as life as the physical.

Day 594 The resiliency of silence

Trying to cover too much ground at once.

I notice that I don’t always “ pan out”.  I tend to focus on one thing, and forget to notice the world around me. But this is like a tunnel vision, one that zeros in on what catches my eye. So, how do I slow down and pull back and take in more of the actual world around me, not fearing to “ not” focus in a narrow way, in a tunnel way?
It is not that narrowing in on something is something that does not have benefits,  but when this becomes a behavior that can not in a moment change from that narrow focus to the sum of the parts, that mistakes through ignorance can accumulate, because not everything is considered.

Physically, I notice that I am becoming far sighted, because my near sightedness is not as good as it used to be. It is like my physical body is telling me to look outward more, because I am burning out the use of near sightedness.

This must be from a desire to control, and yet it is the opposite of control, because real “ control” of myself as I live life here, is to consider that which is near and that which is far, and all that is in-between.

This moment here, can be eternal, meaning there is enough space here, for me to change from a narrow focus to a broader focus within this physical world, in flexible ways. I am the stuff of resiliance, which is somewhat like re-silence, meaning to move from a point of silence, as no judgement, and gently, without reaction, accept the world around me as the physical. In this I do not resist and as consequence see directly with resolution in every breath.

But what was it that I wanted, as was the intent of the narrow focus, an ignorance of the sum and the parts as one?
The narrow focus was about ideas I looked for, something exciting that would open some kind of magical discovery.  I mean this in itself is a distraction. 

What if the real self as me, was naturally resilient, as resilient as water? And it was only belief  that was myself  in resistance to change? And, would I not be, if I became like water as the real substance of me as life, really really living the most “ amazing” multidimensional physical full sensory “ video” game ever ever ever?

Did not someone say, one had to pass through the “ eye of the needle” and could he not walk on water? What does one do when one changes from swimming to hiking, or playing an instrument, or meeting a friend? Are these all not changing the measure and form or direction of oneself within? Have we, a humans, not become extremely limited in our abilities as this? Is it not time to realize the full spectrum of this ability and realize our full potential? Would this not create heaven on earth? It is time to change our economic structure, to one that actualizes  a systemic form that leaves no one behind, and supports all life, as life is the value and the fun.

Day 466 Self Forgiveness on Reaction to " I'm too busy."

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my inner world as mind, as the conscious, the subconscious and the unconscious to be greater than the physical world without.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from here, into and as ideas of blame and spite, as thoughts of “ if another person tells me they are too busy” or “ I have too many problems in my life at this moment”  I am going to “ bite their head off - so to speak as a reaction within myself as a thought, as I said.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be this reaction in righteousness, as pushing away the reactive “ I don’ t want to look, and my inner world as my emotions, thoughts and feelings justifying my state of being that in total is in separation from common sense of the physical as a whole and what has been accepted and allowed, as an inner world being more than life, an idea of self being more than life, this in itself a judgement of being more and thus an action that is not in equality to what is real, as the physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into protection and self defense within this, as righteousness, which is an action of a fear of loss, based on an inner idea of myself as a survival mechanism that is in separation from common sense of the physical world right here, of being equal to and as what is real, as the physical and within this to realize that the only solution is equality to physical reality, where all life is valued and taken care of within and as what does no harm, realizing that I am equal to all life, and that this physical is what allows me as life to exist.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry towards self limitation, which is myself becoming as the other, standing within arguing my own limitations.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to win something, as in existing within a limited framework as having a goal of wanting a successful outcome, instead of realizing that the only solution is to walk existing consequences into the solution of what is best for all, which is becoming aware of what has been accepted and allowed within allowing an inner world, as character and personality  built of belief, opinion and idea, being more than the outer world on which this inner state of being cannot exist without, which is the physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand my past where I encountered self interest before life, and allowed myself to become reactive and spiteful instead of standing within the principle of what is best for all, and letting go of justification within and without, and within this to realize that self interest without common sense is not all that exists as there are those who are responsible, thus for me to hold onto instances where others abdicated their self responsibility and touted ideologies through projecting blame directly or indirectly onto objects as “ work”, being “ busy”,  being in a “ difficult situation” or using some dimension of belief as in “ I am not responsible for your son” moving and shifting dimension to justify their actions, as reacting to such within myself is the same action as I push blame onto the action as the self justification instead of realizing the movement within “ free will” dimensional use of reality to validate actions of self all of which is in total the state of each human within a conscious, subconscious and unconscious construct as an inner state of being that is a blueprint of limited values based on ideas, opinions and beliefs that are not self in consideration, of the whole, as the physical world, thus not self in equality to here, to the physical, to that which is the source that creates a memory of limited belief, constructed in the first seven years, as the starting point of self was taught to follow limited parts as ideas made huge instead of learning to move equal and one with common sense and realizing that the mind accumulated experiences within a system already divided from common sense, and thus a lack of common sense was what was taught, and the solution is to realign self into common sense as physical existence.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be reactive within this, as I have been doing this for so long it is automated, and thus I allow myself to get caught up within this, and separate myself from my own common sense. as this is where solutions are found to the physical consequences that all must walk using the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that i must rush this, that i am not doing enough, and that allowing myself to exist as this, is a separation and thus it is to slow down and to breath, and to place myself here within practical existence.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to turn this into a burden, and then allow myself to become anxious within this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want immediate gains, not seeing realizing and understanding that allowing immediacy is moving into limited associations and thus myself in separation from here, and so I slow myself down and I breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see and forgive my past in the emotional reactive storm I accept and allow as reaction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that based on my past, I fear losing something as another touts their emotions as being bigger than life, than common sense, as the emotions are made more valid than common sense, and within this that i will have to sit and listen to such emotions, and patiently wait until the person had touted them, where i felt that i had no say for or against them, they were stated as fact and moving against them caused more problems as a child than it was worth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have done the same, touted my beliefs, opinions and ideas, to self validate, in separation from common sense with and as the physical world as what I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anxious when someone begins to tout their emotions, as happened with another woman, where I dreaded having to listen, and as this woman was willing to talk, I breathed and slowed myself down,  and became more “ still” within myself and listened, and where I could, I directed within what would direct and still the uncertainty.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  not see realize and understand that I am no longer a child, and can stand here, equalizing the within to the without in common sense of how we work as memory as mind, a construct of the accumulation of experiences which is not necessarily bad, but when not clear and composed of limited insight as limited dimension aggrandizement in self interest, then played within a game of association to justify a state of being within, what is created is a separation from that which such inner state of being is built, and allowing that inner state of being to become bigger than reality causing separation, and the forcing of this inner state of being, this which creates the character of behavior without, is a crime against life because it is limited and thus not equal to that which it is built from, and thus what is lost is the common sense use of self, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that what is needed is to face the storm of separation, and to take back common sense, which is to take back the joy of being life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that game of smoke and mirrors of  values as parts of existence, as dimensions of existence made huge and turned into an inner map are a picture show of limited values in separation from common sense, and thus insubstantial, and thus, walking through this is walking through the valley of the shadow of death, thus this inner map as a storm in a teacup is a valley imposed on the physical that is a valley of shadows composed of beliefs opinions and ideas in separation from physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to just go and hide in quiet to not face this smoke and mirrors show of self pity and justification, that can manifest as bullying when an inner belief is not understood as being accepted as what is real by another. and within this to relate this to the world without as what is happening is that our representatives as out government and agencies are answering to the voice of profit as corporations that follow the law of profit, and because they fear losing their jobs, even when they as parts as some of the people in the bureaucracies realize the abuse to this earth in self interest being allowed cannot stand and disallow this, as what must change, is how money flows through the system, as giving what is needed to “ calm” humans through financial support within being given directly enough money to speak - so to speak- with their money, in support of what is discovered on the ground and locally as a collective, within choosing what is efficient, and sustainable, what works within what causes no harm,  thus those that are in positions where the extreme exists, as in having more money than another, and using this “ more money” to buy the voice of the media, and the choices made by government agencies, are not going to give up their habits as belief that they are justified in having more, as they have built an inner map as memory as experience, as belief of themselves as being job creators, and thus “ more than”s” which is the same we have all accepted and allowed, just a different “ song and dance” as a story yet still in separation from common sense, and thus, the collective must stand and place in a from as a structure that allows each to help themselves and this is giving money to the many hands of men, who are the products of generations of men who have built and with their hands created the values we have ( and the abuses) from freely given resources.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that just as in learning music, where I realized there was vast amounts of space between the notes, so too, is this here, as the substance of life, vast, so much space to move with and as, within and without, that i need not fear the  emotional storm, and this space is within and as myself as common sense as breath here.

I commit myself to slow myself down and to breath, to suspend belief, as in place it in front of me, realizing it is shadow, and to direct within and as what is best for all here, and as such to  use breath to unknot the limitation and bring it back into and as what is best for all, looking at the sequences that create the con, that is the separation from being equal and one to and as the physical here.

I commit myself to, when and as I find myself reacting \ to words of another, to stop and to breath, and to  walk with the physical world in practically standing as what is best for all as the physical.

I commit myself to see that arguing for limitations is arguing through association within a good and a bad, and not directing within what is best for all, as looking here at how the mind is formed and used and the physical reality can function in ways that are best for all, and as this cannot serve the interests of profit before life, as this cannot work and is not working, which we need only look at the news on the internet, a tool to see the world and understand in totality what we have as a collective accepted and allowed, and find ways to change what by design is not supporting and respecting this life in earth, this that we cannot live without.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding how I have taken things personally, and thus in self interest and actually been the creator of my own separation and my own pain, and my own sense of change being impossible, so, I stop and I breath when and as i find myself taking things personally,  in and  as behaviors of wanting to spite another,  or dread having to listen to another.

I commit myself to slowing myself down and breathing, to remaining here, to see realize and understand that I can only walk one point at a time, to see that the smoke and mirrors show is of smoke and mirrors mixing and matching dimension and using association within such to create a picture show in self interest, all of which is a separation from life here, a storm in a teacup that bears no witness to life.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that this pattern of association is causing a disassociation from common sense, and thus is abusing life on earth, thus it is to realize that the only choice is what is best for all here as taking care of the physical world through only doing that which causing no harm absolutely to physical reality.

I commit myself to  directing within and as what directs into a win-win situation as the response being, yes, I want what is best for all, what is best for myself what is best for the children and as such earth.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that scare tactics as the voice of doom and gloom can be corrected into and as what is best for all, as solution, as the realization that I am equal and one to and as life as the physical world here.

Day 370 The grid of separation

It is interesting to build a map of a presentation within myself, I see so much of where I emotionally wander off, things distorting what I am trying to build, fears, paranoias that I have to look at and bring back to myself. This also brings ups memories of the past, those times when I asked questions, that also had judgments attached as I placed a morality of my culture onto them, not walking through the judgment, just remaining within blame and superiority. Sometimes I questioned.

I had gone back to university as an adult. I had to work with young adults in groups. One time, this one young adult worked on a project with myself and two others. She could not write an outline. What she did was place information on the computer and then reorganize it. She could not create a structure of the information in her head. She said that she had a learning disability and was officially dyslexic. I was astounded. We never really discussed anything, we simply took bits of information and reordered them on the computer. When this was done our group interaction, event, was done. It was like we clung to the words on the page, using ONLY this, no discussion or  physical real life application/consideration.

This is similar to not looking at what money has become, meaning what money represents and the system of money as being a piece of paper given a value that has no common sense of it being a secondary point to what is real, the physical world and how the physical world is the real support, and the money is a condition placed onto this world by men.

Gathering knowledge and information in and of itself is not bad, it is a starting point, but when it is all that is used within determinations, it is like using words on a page only, like the words are god, and the real world has nothing to do with it, which is so obviously a disconnect from reality.

And yet, a smoke screen system of division and conquest in self interest, such as our present system where much of this physical world is disregarded, and a few have again used a secondary condition of signing their names on paper, making a declaration of ownership real in opposition to reality, and thus to life, we can begin to realize that we have made a screen or piece of paper that voice of reality, a voice in complete ignorance of the physical world.

If all eyes are on what is on a piece of paper, then the real physical world can be taken from under our feet, and we will be so busy looking at that info on that secondary plane, that we do not notice reality. Such an existence really has no substance, nothing real to stand on, and all lack of ability within building a “ real” understanding and insight to what is real is removed. We have abdicated ourselves as our physical selves, and for this we will suffer our separation, thus one cannot blame anyone but oneself, as one in a human physical body has the gift of life as the physical with them in every moment, with every breath. The choice is to allways, look in totality with the physical at the physical world, not only at the knowledge and information on the paper, this is simple common sense. So, pointing out discrepancies within what is placed on paper, will upset the system people, the people within the administrative points on this grid of review of words on paper only, because it means that physical person must stand and look at the physical world, and turning from the smoke screen and mirrors of the limited knowledge and information placed on that paper means one might lose their job, because the system we have accepted and allowed in totality serves a few who believe themselves superior and deserving of more, and then have more pieces of paper than others, so thus they control through limitation. and we all accept and allow this, because we have been taught in a system built from who gives the most pieces of paper. And only a few, who have more, have the papers to peddle in their own self interest.

Within what is placed as knowledge and information on paper, one must take that which is good, and to do that one needs a cross reference with the actual physical world.

Here one need only study what is happening within the fracturing debacle or the GMO bullying going on by the few who has lead us to believe that a statement on a piece of paper has more value than actual physical reality. Statements on paper that are then hidden within more statement on paper a laws, such as trade secrets, a complete scam of self interest only. The same who support what is taught in our educational systems - which is another story/stories construct of smoke and mirrors! And yet, as within so without. We are to blame. We allowed it, we made it hallowed ground! Humanity is simply walking as one giant separation from life, and this young adult is the product of our accepted and allowed separation. A dis-located lexicon of limited knowledge and information, serving a god of greed, and the answer , the solution is to LOOK at the actual physical world. And this physical world is what our paper world is directing us from, is not allowing, has hidden in payers of bureaucracy - this a crime against life. And the people composing the bureau are in a craze of survival.

 This child of earth, I remind myself is me, and I am her. We are the same. We are formations of life, forms that believe we are the end all be all, when we are not. We are a part of the whole as earth as the physical, and this is what is real.

Anyway, the behavior of this girl has good and misdirection within expression. Yes, we look out at the world, not the screen/paper only, and we reflect in equality and oneness with the actual physical, as though the physical is the real map of life, we become equal within to the without as the actual real physical world. This way, this girl, this young adult , can see how the real physical world moves and is. So, perhaps her dyslexia is simply caused by this disconnect, and her inability to “ read” is that she really has not enough to create any understanding of real substance! There is nothing real to hold onto, thus she cannot create any structure within her mind and must cling to words on a page and the ensuing fears as thoughts emotional and feelings of limited design, insubstantial, judgmental. This is a mechanism of behavior that is of complete separation from life, complete instability. How can someone actually teach children with such limited development and physical connection? They cannot. And yet, this is what the system is presently teaching! This child does not have the ability to deal with words, she has no ability to play with these lego blocks of communication. She has no real integration with the parts, she has no real skill with working with the starting point of sound. She works with ambiguous statements only, and cannot order them because she does not have a direct connection with the actual physical substance of life.

Within the fracturing abuse to earth, I have heard farmers whose land is destroyed speak with the industry and the energy industry simply says, “ hire a lawyer and sue us” and the industry, that which allows a debt system, where the debt is on the people and the principle is with the banks, do not naturally have the money to sue. And meanwhile, the government has removed the offices of environmental agencies, and or diminished them to such an extent that there is not ability of the office worker to work through all the paper work - which in itself is vast and meant to never go anywhere, as another worker up the ladder ignores what it cannot solve, which might lead to losing a job if something is realized as not making any sense. Thus the whole system is layered in such a way to not allow the actual physical world to be the point of scrutiny, and we are all to blame, as we have voted in the present representatives, and we have allowed money to determine life, and we have allowed usury, so when we fall, we have no power to deal with this, and this is of our own making. The way to stop all of this, to allow those on the grid with some common sense left to be able to point out what makes no sense and/or connection with the actual physical world, the opportunity to stand, is to vote in a system, to place policies that give all the means, with what we have accepted, as money, to have basic living needs met. To be able to stop and breath, to  remove the consequence of survival, and realize that life is right here in front of us as the physical and that it functions in supportive ways if we allow it, work with it, read it, become one with it, as what we are for real. Hiding the effects of abusive fracturing practices is ourselves destroying ourselves, even for those materially benefitting, you are destroying yourself, as you are not equal and one to the physical world in common sense, you have allowed ideas and pieces of paper to become more real than what is real, the physical. STOP. As long as we all adhere to only the words on a page, the symbols on paper, we are actively choosing to ignore life, this which we are, with every step with every breath, because when our physical bodies end we end, So what we do determines the life after us, the life of the children to come. Thus we are responsible for this earth, and it is our responsibility to ensure that this home is in order before we leave, in consideration of those who come after us. We would not like the  suffering and survival existence we have lived to be what our children live, so it is time to stop the mind fed with limited knowledge and information, and to create a system that acknowledge the actual physical world, as this is what is real.

Lets create a world where our young people learn to align themselves within the substance of the actual real physical world, so that they may be able to stand in equality and oneness with and as life, as this is the gift of life. Our children, our young people as life deserve to stand as the living word, and not the cry of dyslexia, isn’t this what you would want for yourself and your children?

Equal Money. Remove inequality, place in Equality

Realign yourself to life, Desteni I Process  DIP Lite Free!

Interviews about the structure of the mind consciousness system and  how our separation/fear/paranoia functions

Journey to Life Blogs

Day 230 Thought Dimension : Despair Character

“Here, as we have mentioned, the Thought will be the Point, the ONE point that would activate the (Postponement) Character. The Thought can be in the form of an image/picture and/or Memory/past experience that would relate to activating the Character.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself as a child who is seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought that I must stand and not be heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have even seen this in the schools, where at times, I felt the children just simply listened to the teachers, waiting for the preaching to end to continue their play and escape the preaching, where within this, it was a though the ansi-ness of the child was me, as the child held themselves within wanting to escape, yet having learned the fastest way out of the situation was to listen until it was over and then leave, after asking permission to leave when the preaching had stopped.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself being unable to be heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have an image of myself as what i am as the child seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to direct myself based on an image from my past as a belief that a child is meant to be seen and not heard, which is to say that an adult is more than a child, that the words of an adult are more than a child, where it is not the word, but the object expressing the word, and thus a child as a human being has no past with which to become a word, which is to say that a child has no story to tell, where the story becomes more than the life of the child, the life of the child becoming a living word, where the word is respected, here, as a movement of self as life, here, as the real story is here, in and as the physical, as how the physical is the story of creation.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a thought of myself as only to be seen and not heard, an image of myself as being dumb, as I had not been on the earth long enough to have a story to tell, a story in separation from what is real, this physical world, a story of more than and less than values.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to make myself less than here, in and as an experience as the words “children are to be seen and not heard.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have become the experience of the adult being an author of a story of more than and less than,being heard ONLY and the child, as myself, being seen only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be the experience of the word only, where as a child, I did not have a development of the word, and thus in the face of the word, I was dumb.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become dumbed down by the word, as the word had become a world in and as itself, in separation from here, a fantasy land of more than and less than, dumb to what was real, the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the experience of being mute.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in becoming dumb, within my experience of the word of my parents as “ a child is to be seen and not heard” I became mute, and thus in not utilizing my human physical body I rendered myself dumb, mute and blind to this actual physical world, which would send me into a state of despair, as I would lose all sense of communication with and as what was real, the actual physical world, as the substance that supports life, as it is a composition of the very substance of life, one and equal as all that exists.

I commit myself to breathing, to see, realize and understand that when I allow myself to become dumb, as in the words “ a child is meant to be seen and not heard” I accept and allow a movement of myself as dumb, mute, and blind to this actual physical world, and thus lose all footing of common sense, as equal and one awareness of what is real, and become trapped and thus experience despair, having only the word of the story of a parent who themselves are dumb, mute and blind to the physical world and perpetuallyseeking within words only, through a self constructed religion of more than and less than, as beliefs, ideas, and opinions, in self validation as the word only, and there by needing to constantly suggest self definition to maintain a separation from what is real, the actual physical world.

I commit myself to stopping and breathing, when and as I separate from myself here, into and as a belief, as an experience of despair, where I become less than this actual physical world, into and as words being seen as a story of self validation, where the physical is not seen and the word is all that is heard, as this being in and of itself a separation from life, where i ignore the effects of the use of the the spoken word as creating a fantasy world of self validation in separation of what is real, the actual physical substance as life, one and equal as what I am, here, these words as projections of more than and less than values, no longer equal and one in respect of life, where life is the physical.
I commit myself to breath, to bring myself equal and one in and as the physical, when and as I face the words of another as something “to be seen only rendering the physical unheard as the substance of myself as life, here.
I commit myself to breath, to see, realize and understand myself within a starting point of equality to what is here physically. to see, realize and understand within and as hereing/hearing what is real, as the word of myself cross referencing equal and one with and as the physical world

A parent believing self interest is justifiable in separation from life, as the physical, as what is real, the value being life.

Prevent behaviors of self interest in separation from the value being life, support an Equal Money System, to become the living word.

Day 169 The mind wanting precedent

I remember the day I was so tired of what my life consisted of that I asked the question, “where is the constant?” and this lead me within a couple of months to desteni. I realize that I had looked for the constant without, and the answer is right here, within and as me. I am the constant that I have plugged and disallowed through allowing and accepting the be-flame/blame; as accepting and allowing energy- the separation from life through negative and positive emotions, thoughts and feelings, the separation into and as energy, the accepting and allowing of a label all ways a connection as guilt - as I “give you a light” as I accept and allow separations into and as energy through lighting myself up, like a Christmas tree. within imitating opinions and beliefs and ideas negligent of life, negligent of the real tree under the lights, believing the “lights and smuck” to be more significant than the actual tree underneath ( an some do not even use real trees anymore!). All I know is the energy, the bflame of desire, the lit with Ur signature/resonance of right and wrong/more than and less than/ judgement/survival code of supposed warmth and sustenance in separation from the very resource allowing the flame/illumination.
So, if i allow the thought of difficult, impossible, irritating, as what I guilt myself with, as this is the beflame of my world, then I accept and allow this separation as all that exists, I have become blind to the very substance of life under this guilded/lighted tree of life, where no answers lie within the bling of energy, and what is spoken that is not feeding the electrified/energetic lights will cause a short circuit, where if one is not in understanding of what is happening the surge of protection and defense, as energy resists and grabs at the sametime, wanting precedent.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become and exist as the thought that I am impossible, difficult and irritating, not seeing realizing and understanding what this consists of and exists as, as I had allowed and accepted myself to become separate from and as life, looking for answers in guilt and blame, the labels and separations from a directive capacity of the substance of life as what is the source and substance of all that exists.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that what is constant is within and need not be sought without, where giving up the separation into and as energy will reveal what is real and sustaining as the substance of life that must underneath be.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to only see the lite and flame of separation as guilt and blame as self judgement becoming justification in and as protection and defense through negative and positive statements of belief, opinion and idea expressed through emotion, feeling and thought in imagination that death is an inevitable outcome of a me-more starting point within a system of inequality, as system that is a product of what i have accepted and allowed in separation from life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear, react to guilt and blame, not seeing realizing and understanding that this is a signature of separation and thus not a solution able to remain constant and directive in and as life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a thought of judgement as impossible and difficult, as what I am, as what I have accepted and allowed was myself becoming the same within as what was without, where I allowed myself to become beflame and sflame and a reflection of same separation as guilt, and placed a judgement of myself as being unworthy, as having done something wrong and then protecting myself through catering to the me-more -y of my parents in a belief that this was how to survive as I did not know where else to go as a child, as this was the presentation on the stage of life I was born into and onto that has been accepted and allowed on this gift of life, this tree of life, known as earth, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in order to survive I accepted and allowed a separation into and as characters to create a personification of like illumination as what existed to survive, all a separation from life, and a falling into and as an insecurity equal and one to a profit based system of more than and less than, ignorant of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this separation into and as pieces, as judgement and blame, shame and guilt is the separation from myself as life, is self punishment of myself as life where I allow myself to consume myself as life, as my human physical body, having no lesson - less on of energy/ and more on as equality and oneness as life of and as substance- as the directive of myself, here.
Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become, self doubt, self dishONEsty in separation from and as myself as being one and equal to life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that within this separation into and as a character of being as impossible, difficult and irritating, I am becoming the personification of and as this, illuminating this, and thus not directing myself as life, allowing myself to diminish myself as life, abusing my human physical body.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the reaction in and as voicing, blame, shame, guilt and justification, justifying myself as not really being impossible, difficult and irritating through believing what i am is not my fault, when this is upholding the name spoken and not finding solutions that realize equality as what is best for all is best for self as life, as that which is steadfast and without fear, as there need be no fear in equality and oneness with and as self as life, as life is forgiving as the nature of itself in expression, where there is really nothing else.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what i am is what i seek is myself as forgiving of myself as life, this desire as life, in oneness and equality as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction of sadness, where I ad a belief that change is impossible, an illusion, as I am life, here, only separated from myself through belief , opinion and idea as pieces of myself I have made huge ignoring my own nature as life, as I am lost in a game of survival of my own making through allowance not realizing that what is best for all is best for self, in and as coming from nothing and existing as self forgiving of self as life here, as this self as life is the value.

I commit myself to realizing that any and all constriction in and as myself is myself allowing and accepting a loss of self responsibility as life, here.
I commit myself to realizing and understanding that any and all thoughts are my separations manifesting an energetic response in and as the very personification of my separation, myself becoming justification, allowing justification and separating myself from being one and equal within directing myself as life, here, realizing myself as forgiving as life as what is best for all is best for self.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that it is what I accept and allow that indicates whether I am worthy of life, that this is what it is that I already am as life, here, to realign myself as life, one and equal to myself as life, through bringing all the pieces made huge, as blame and spite, shame and judgement back to self to direct in oneness and equality as what is within and as all that is here which is the substance of and as this physical world, which is life.

The creation of the mind.

Life Review series, to realize separation and the consequences thereof.

The Consciousness of the Fly and much more!

Quantum Mind

The practical solution Equal Money

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Earth's Journey To Life

A playlist of documentaries

Pinterest list of articles  and videos on out current environment

Day 77 Taking care alone, a labor of self pity

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to begin to have a thought that I am all alone when I have a project that involves labor around my home.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to become a belief that I am the character of the woman alone when I have to do physical labor on my house, and within this I start to pity myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe, in and as a thought, that doing physical labor on my house without another person here is difficult, where I judge the practical walking through of what needs to be done as being difficult, where the task is not difficult, it is simply a series of steps that need to be organized and assembled.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a care actor of self pity, my self giving a care to what is believed to be “how things should be,” instead of being here, realizing this physical world, as this is what is real and not an imposed idea of limited elements being “needed” to  get things done..

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as a care actor, giving care to,  feeling that I am alone, when I am here with this physical world, taking care of my physical existence, which needs no additional energetic emotional characters but only common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that being alone and caring for my home must fit the image and likeness of the current system on earth, where I am missing all the characters considered to be the norm in relation to myself being a woman.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that it is this mind dictating how the character of myself here should, or should not be that is the drama in and as my mind.

I commit myself to realizing every moment I separate from here, into and as a thought based on a belief, externally dictated, internally allowed and accepted, internally believed,  evident within and as my thoughts,  that add a believed and accepted and allowed care, to what is actually physically present and here.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding the characters I need within myself to have an image and likeness of having more than what is actually here, not realizing that, in this drama, I am actually here and able to direct myself here as life, in oneness and equality.

I commit myself to exposing how my focus on the following of  my thoughts  is an accepted and allowed belief that I am in lack.

Emotions and Feelings

Memories

Self Awareness Steps for the Elite