Remaining grounded even with the politician of the mind Day 728

The ending point is the the staring point.

The power within staying the course.

I had a confrontation with a group I help run. I had explained to another person within whom I share management with this group to keep things simple, meaning, one remained within a schedule, or else the doors of special interest would open.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, the doors were opened. Within the coming schedule that organized the group, one could pick and choose which day one did the tasks the group shared  whereas before the schedule moved in a sequence where the individual was responsible to change their date if necessary- and the schedule was placed so far in advance that it gave time to order one’s life around one’s date.  Naturally, in creating a schedule of choice,  the unwanted days, which were holidays, were the last slots to be filled. When I opened this up, because some people were too busy to go in and choose a date, the response was that they had had a lot of fun doing that unwanted day. I had then said, that this was the reason the schedule moved as it did, because it eliminated causing those who did not have the time to fill in the blanks ending up with the days that were holidays and distributing these unwanted days through years- so everyone had a turn on a holiday with time to plan well before the dates. Answering to this with a positive spin on the consequence did not change the fact that all that was left were the holidays, which cancelled out the justification. To this there was a reaction, an indirect action. It was as though, calling positivity out by name caused the flood gates of spite to open, and every so-called ‘ mistake I had made in the past in relation to the group was called out. A distraction from the real issue at hand. It also turned out that the person who had changed the format, complained that scheduling was taking too much time, which, in answering to everyone’s need, instead of simply placing a sequence consistently into a schedule, well before hand,  handing change to the individual, would have kept the act simple, which had been explained from the beginning. 

The formula for such complaint is a math. It happens again and again. Nothing to take personally. Usually, there is some statement of fact, about an action, and then some inflammatory language.  Overall, this additional ‘ math’ incident and then defamatory values as judgements attached, that have nothing to do with the issue at hand I have gotten so caught up in that I become the game of seeing only the distraction and forget my starting point. My answer only brought silence, unless I had retaliated, which I did not, because to react to this kind of inflammatory language only feeds the reaction/fire. The real issue was the original point; bringing in other things only caused a bigger pool of dissonance. It is how walls are built around an issue that is resisted.

Last night, I was talking with an old ‘ friend.” I opened something up that caused a reaction that basically took up the rest of the evening.  I realized that the real issue was money, in this second situation, as this was the last point made in relation to the topic discussed. Yet, when this reaction, this tirade came up, I became quiet, because once started, it had to release itself, as any interjection would only cause more chaos. I wanted to walk away, and had thoughts that this was impossible; why did I make any attempts at all! I should have known - type of back chat coming in. I stopped.

I simply listened, checking myself for reactions, those small resistances, and desires to push back coming from myself; I watched for my own biases wanting to hold onto ideas and beleifs and opinions as what information was coming into the space I was within. I also noticed, at one point how tense was the body of the person with whom I was in communication. It was a rigid, unmoving, un-breathing stance. I did at that point have the werewithall, to realize that what would be important at that point was to move beyond that tense state ( and even had the thought that I created this, which cannot be, as what we accept we, as individuals, are responsible for!).  This stance was so ‘ stuck’ that I stood and listened, letting the fires burn out. It is like standing back and not adding any more fuel to the fire of reaction- this being a set of beliefs being expressed.  It was a lot of ‘ math’ to sort through, and yet, it can be done, as this is what I am as life, here. This is the capacity of life, to create, to build and rebuild. I could look at this as playing with building blocks, rearranging them, sorting them. It is only inflamed values, as belief, that pull into more fire storms of emotion and feeling- this being away from what can withstand time, remain constant, and sound a ‘ stilling of the waters’ , a slowing down, to assess and move into greater understanding of creation as the nature of life. 

When things calmed down, what I noticed is that the interest in what I had brought up remained in this person. It was as though all the reasoning that lead to me once again being involved with this person came forward, and an acknowledgement of what was brought up that caused the reaction, was again said to be something that must be effective. It is like my friend senses there is something there, but the morality, as beliefs, comes forward in a resistance. This cycle is playing out and the only way forward is to slowly walk through the cycles of a morality/math of resistance and fragments of interest that come back. I would say it is like dealing with a piece of music, which is like a math, that has truths and inflammatory beliefs, that slow down the processing of  potentials sensed.  I lose insight into the whole, as the parts/justifications when I become too narrow a focus on ideas about who and what I am, usually tied to class and culture, instead of remembering a presence to and towards the physical- the real starting point of myself as a human being on earth.

Within myself, though at times listening to a tirade was difficult -as a sense from my past that I could not move through this, it was impossible, it was overwhelming, it was so thick and too difficult to sort through, came up,  -I said no as this was my own limitations that had become fixed and comfortable justifications within myself. I had to breath, remain calm, and listen. It was at this point that a tiny fleck of realizing that I could ‘ do the math’ came through, and like words on a page, the forms became more liquid, as though I was sorting the numbers. This had a moment, of remembering that those lenses, as the words, were a tool to ground an effective presence, here: a present to myself. That one moment of movement, of form, opened a door to seeing that not only could this moment remain fixed as what it was, it could also, be aligned in ways that removed the inflammations and settled into more presence and greater awareness of movement in space and time. 

Within all this seeming chaos, were points of change. It was like a quantum form that had a flicker of insight that could move into a greater dimension of awareness- yet there were problems to solve. lol, it is like facing a formula embedded in the physical, the persona of the numbers as a measure of values laying the equation on the table. It is amazing in so many ways, as it is as though I step out of my head, yet remain there as well, and see the movement around me. It is a movement that is invisible, yet moves like a wave - that wave can be brought back to self, sorted and grounded. Thus, within this, everything is me, as this is how to bring it back to self. Here, to then do the math, within a starting point of the principle of what is best for all. This also means speaking within the volume of story, playing with words, with a math, to direct myself, and thereby the very presence involved as a formation that moves with greater   resolve into a presence equal and one to life, to creation.

What joy there is in this!

Day 509 Facing the Paranoia of the Paranormal

In working with people recently, I noticed reactions within walking a simple process. I realize that the process can seem overwhelming when first presented. One response was, “ I am not as disciplined as you!” another was “ Why can’t the schools do this?” and yet another was “ O, That is a hard one!”  And then afterwards, with a family member, “ you don’t explain this well!” - this being a long rant about what words to use. I didn’t catch the undercurrent, as things are presented within projecting blame, moving what one does not want to face into any facet of reaction, this being screaming a blame, when that scream holds the answer to the problem, or reveals the overall fear. If they are projecting it outward are they really screaming a fear that they believe they lack this, especially when it has to do with slowing down and looking, no matter the context? Is the idea of slowing down and looking always/allways overwhelming at first? I mean, just think of having to learn some new physical action, one has to slow down and place awareness into it. Which means refocusing self. Slowing down and expanding awareness within sensing the measure of something in detail, is the means to an end,  and yet the change to such is like pulling teeth. All manner of resistance comes up. Like an LP record playing and the arm gets caught on the vinyl and drags across the surface emitting a heart piercing screech. I think parents go through this phase within facing change.  How to impart a structured, clear understanding that change is actually a joyful act when done with patience and starting out in small amounts, understanding that the first steps are bumpy, yet the stability is learned with each bump. Without the bumps how does one learn to steady oneself? So, a mistake, is a guide, not a punishment. A mistake leads to the reward of awareness in balance. Conversely, to use mistakes to ascend a ladder is really a crime against life, 

I was so busy trying to steady myself in this storm, I did not listen to the storm. lol.  My starting point was , “oh no, what have I done”. This is a paranoia of the paranormal.  

Day 458 Politeness

Politeness, what is politeness? Is it polite to cater to another’s uncertainty? Is it polite to stop and respect another’s position even when within that position a person’s supposed authority is limited even when asked to describe practice in detail, and this is incapable of being done, and there is even reaction within this as the person realizes they cannot describe in detail what they do, and thus must admit that they are not really aware of what they are doing, and thus have to admit that they really do not have any real “ authorship” - so to speak.  So, here politeness, as being clear within what is best for all, as in what enables a clear understanding which means having a directive capacity that gives all of here as the physical the ability to move with stability. Thus, real politeness of what gives stability which is the ability to move in ways that are supportive and clearly understood. And this, overall means  that there is no singular point of authority. This is what is really polite. A policy of “ liteness” as in having clear direction, as in being unburdened of uncertainty, which means seeing here in a self directive way.

Interesting that we are taught that there is a “ light” out there to follow, to find, to seek, when it is the opposite, as the real value is the “ lite” of enjoyment in being self directive without burden or “ weight” as self, within self being directive here in the physical world. No one but self can direct self as this. And our pyramid scheme, our hierarchy allowed on this earth is the burden of separation from being self, equal and one to physical existence, moving in ways that support self and the physical, which is to be here, and to direct the movement of what is here in ways that are best for all. Which is why there is not choice but to create a Living Income Guarantee as this will stabilize each person to be able to direct themselves, to stop and to take a breath, and to begin to work with physical reality in common sense.

On another front, this problem of being polite to a construct that does not consider that we live on a physical planet that functions in visibly understandable ways; whether it be visible consequences, as we see in our vaccine programs, or the amount of pollution our practices create that are often hidden because the differences to the environment that one practice makes is small, and then another inconsiderate practice creates another negative impact that is negligible, so on paper each part says that their practice had no significant impact, and yet the collective of practice accumulates to create a significant impact, but no part is willing to realize its impact in total, because its profits are what is allowed as money to determine who remains on the table and who falls off the table, so each faction hides in being responsible, because the secondary point of money, as the resources are without consideration extracted from the earth and not seen for the real sustenance that they are, as money is the accepted determiner of life. This in total a real disconnect from reality. We have become polite to this construct of imposed value, of impulsed value instead of to the actual resource that has a physical value, that breeds a physical consequence when not used in polite sustainable respectful ways. So the problem is where we shed light as what policies we allow to determine how things on this physical planet move/express. The problem is that we are not allowing a pole/policy that is a balance that allows the physical to move at ease, to be the liteness of ease of movement as physical beings on a physical world.

The solution then, is to only choose that which is best for all, that which stabilizes this physical world, that which enables all life to move with ease, meaning without constriction. If our waters are polluted then what sustains life as water, cannot move with the ease that is the nature of water that is clear and clean, unburdened by built up impediments from reckless extraction practice in the name of a polity in service to men believing the are dominant and within this dominant belief, a repetition of this belief layering again as this dominance creates an order of more dominance within itself, which creates perpetual judgement and division within each point building a separation from what is real, which is the physical world. Thus, the solution is the gift of the physical, to become polite to what is what is best for all. Politeness is standing as what gives each the ability to be self directive as self as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that before anything I must be polite to the order of the person with whom I speak.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that i must be polite.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to be polite

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am good when I am polite, not stopping and looking at what i am within and as what i chose to be polite to and towards.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to connect politeness to making another person happy

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define politeness within making another person happy and as such believe that this is what makes myself happy and a good person.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that politeness exists within what does not upset what is impolite to and towards what is best for all, as what is best for all is what is best for self.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use politeness as a form of protection and defense in self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that understanding how the mind works, as in memories of what is bad and what is good, within a limited belief system that does not include the actual physical world and that is built within a system of inequality where limited values are the construct of survival which in total is in separation from considering all physical like as being interconnected and thus parts of what sustains life as earth, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear push back as reaction as a fear of loss as an idea that is based on a limited perspective of what actually physically composes reality as this earth, as this gift that sustains life that functions in interconnected ways where parts complete the whole of life as an expression.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being considered impolite.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as an idea that being impolite, as in not being polite is a threat to myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to place the focus of myself into an idea of what it means to be polite.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being considered as being impolite.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that it is impolite to speak unless spoken to.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that it is impolite to be contrary to another’s words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is such a thing as being contrary to another’s words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from another’s words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am separate from another’s words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that first and foremost I am responsible to be polite to another’s words, instead of looking at the form as the sound as the words and relating such words to the principle of what is best for all, as this is being polite to and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that changing myself within and as directing myself against the storm of being polite to limitations of belief, where belief of another as the construct of their words is what is taught as how one is polite and within this to respect the belief touted and to then take this and direct this within and as what is best for all as what allows another to self direct with ease here, this being as what is clear within and as what supports self as life, to see here as the physical being equal and one as what supports life as life a focus of life that is here as what visibly sustains absolutely.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being reprimanded as the voice of separation within limitation holding onto its limitation in and as a belief that this is what is supportive and to not see, realize and understand that this is a voice of seeking as a habit of an idea being supportive, an endgame instead of realizing that it is the physical world here that is the support in and as and of life where words are constructs of sound, mutable, and thus able to move into what is directive, into what ensures an absolute focus of here as what causes no harm, as what enables each person as a point on earth to become self directed in common sense as a starting point of awareness of self as a physical being on a physical planet, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing something should I not be polite towards the belief’s of another.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the burden of my own beliefs, being my own counter rhythm in discord from common sense of each breath, of each movement here as myself slowing down to sense here in detail.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must be a social sponge where I am a walking mirage to follow the order of politeness to protect and defend myself from hurt as the bully of self interest, which is myself accepting and allowing my own self interest in and as an idea of a fear of loss.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from the principle of what is best for all is best for self, where what is best for self is not a politeness to the good and the bad, as agreement to injustice as an end game without solution but to take this and to stand as what supports all within and as stability here as physical beings on an interconnected planet, that works in practical functional ways when supported with the basic needs of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that being polite to what directs within causing no harm, as in stabilizing the good and the bad, bring this back into and as self as in finding solutions that stabilize the physical world into and as what functions in support of life absolutely.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being impolite as in being a fear of loss, as a fear of potential hurt, and as this, to not see, realize and understand that slowing down and breathing, and being self honest with humility, as in not allowing righteousness, within directing within what gives direction within and as what causes no harm, as what considers all life as being the value, beginning in each moment, here, and thus all life becoming and being at ease, this being equal and one with physical existence as this is the starting point.