Day 58
I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to have a litany of blame and spite, accusation and general frustrated feeling in and as a conversation within my mind about the behavior of my son, about past relationships, about the people in my life who are avoiding me because I am no longer playing the part in an accepted and allowed emotional drama in and as what feeds the mind as belief, opinion and idea within the words that support accepted cultural beliefs within politics and spinning beliefs around how god is real and supports me, how it is one faction within the world that is the cause of economic hardship and limitations, where any conversation that points out that what is being blamed is in essence a structure composed of people that are directed by limited, and self interested survival structures where it is not realized that it is each and every one of us caught up in a system of imposed lack as what we are presented through education, within which we are locked as mind to only see parts and thus have no conception of the whole, no developed conceptual ability to realize the whole, and are so busy pointing fingers as images as singularities not realizing that not only are we presented with singular points, but that there is no ability conceptually to see the movement of what has been accepted and allowed as this system of profit, that the nature of ourselves as physical - one and equal earth being- cannot sense ourselves as this, as the movement of ourselves in and as and one with this world has been diverted into singular beliefs, opinions and ideas, and these very beacons of supposed directive are us as a fixed focus and not us here one and equal to this physical world moving with, breathing with, sensing with, as we are separate in non movement singularities, where these singularities are not in and as themselves necessarily right or wrong, but as believed to be the only way, and thus inconclusive in considering what is best for all, where what is best for all is best for self, as it considers movement and not stagnant idol imagery as “one way” or the “only way.”
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that in standing as the principle of oneness in equality, I am actually allowing my self to realize a whole gamut of self expression.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that my beliefs , opinions and ideas, are what I cling to in fear of loss, within a system that is a reflection of this within myself, as a system of survival where my opinions , beliefs and ideas, are what i believe will enable me to survive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my personality is a composition of mannerisms as presentations and beliefs, opinions and ideas that serve a society in which I live, to maintain a structure of survival within a system that does not support life, a system that so obviously ignores this physical world, as can be seen in the present state of this world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that the litany of complaint in and as my mind is all that I know to “fall back on” where this is resonant within and as me, and all I can do is breath and begin to patiently walk the principle of what is best for all, where this litany as mind is learned behaviors and expectations believed to allow me to survive within a survival based profit system as I separated myself from myself as life, as the sound of equality and oneness as what is best for all, to chase an energetic high, as I had allowed this to develop and become greater than myself as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that nothing can be lost, and that the illusion is that my beliefs and opinions and ideas define what I am, when as there are different cultures in this world that limit the expression of the human not realizing that having to limit the expression of the human is in itself creating lack, and that within this belief as a need, it has not been looked at that perhaps the starting point of creating lack of expression - where structures are built to maintain this- indicated that the human has not in fact been developed as the human is obviously capable of many things as seen throughout this world, yet this is not offered to all, this self development.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame the outcome instead of realizing the starting point.
I commit myself to, the moment I begin a litany of back chat, blame, excuse and justification in and as my mind, stop and breath and realize that I am blaming an outcome and not using myself within and as breath to, within common sense, realize the whole of this present system on this earth, to realize that I am a product of my own limitations and a system without that has created a world of limitation through dividing resource and placing that resource behind a wall of control to give and receive for the profit of a few and not to support life, a system that does not allow myself to give as I would like to receive, which is what I do as myself within my world as I exist as a persona of survival, hence the endless being of myself as spite and blame, which is myself as fear of loss, as a mind of blame, excuse and justification, myself as ego in desire want and need as what I define myself as. evident in manner, speech and physical disease, as I am not one and equal to life here.
I commit myself to that an act of blame is stagnant in that is reviews the outcome and not the starting point, where what needs be re-viewed is the totality of the creation as this earth that has been accepted and allowed.
I commit myself to realize that within this system of inequality, the starting point will, through necessity, always be for gain in one way or another, unless all life is considered, every plant, animal, child, substance of this earth, and thus does the division of resource into profit for the few, manifest the disease on earth, present within the soil, the animals, and the human, and this includes all that is here, the rich and the poor, as the rich die of cancer, which is a tumor starving the body as how Ted Kennedy died, a death of different form, but a death of one part consuming the whole, just as the billions are starving on this earth as parts are consuming the whole and not supporting life, thus are we all, each and every one of us imprisoned by what we have accepted and allowed on this earth, so any elite person reading this, you are as subject to this accepted and allowed system as each and every entity on this earth, unless you stand and you stop and you support the turning of the tide to allow life to begin through supporting a system of equality. where life is the value.
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