Thursday, December 31, 2015

Day 673 What am I doing here, as in how am I moving here, within myself.

One of the many reasons I walk the Desteni I Process is because I noticed some things as I matured in life.

There are two things that stand out.

One was within practicing the violin.  And I remember a teacher telling me that how I practiced was very important, so this is understood by others who have done the same.  I noticed that if I practiced with something on my mind, the next day that would come up. Within myself I realized that I had to focus on what I was doing without the presence of some other thing going on in my life at the moment, or, another way to say this, is that I could not practice with worry about something in the background going on, as thoughts in my head. I could not actually think about something else, like trying to get two things done at once, one of them being, in this case, practicing and trying to sort out something else in my life. This simply means that when I practiced, I had to focus on that and only that.

When I got older, I started to realize that when I practiced this way, only focusing on the practice I was doing, I learned the piece much faster, and I could even be aware of how long it would take to learn a piece, and depend on that. Thus, when I practiced and really focused on what I was doing,, I could depend on how well I would know the piece, and count on that for a performance. I even started to take risks within performing, because I could understand that I knew the piece well enough that no matter what happened - as with other things that can happen when one performs- I could deal with it because I knew the piece well enough within myself.
The second thing that happened, that when I found destini I process I understood, was the aftermath of the death of my husband. For a long time after he died, I would think about him, often wishing he were still around because I had become comfortable with his presence. One day I realized that I had to stop thinking about him, because he was no longer here, and that was that! I found it very difficult to stop thinking about him. I had to really bring up my will and stop each time I started to think about him. I even eventually transferred thinking about him onto another person I had liked earlier in my life. At the time, I did not realize it immediately, within transferring my thinking about my husband onto another, I then found myself thinking about that other person. One day, I realized this and then had to stop that thinking.  I remember it feeling like I had to really ‘ fight’ with the thinking. By this I mean, use every bit of myself to stop that way of being within myself. Then I started to realize how much I could spin around in something, and that it often did not resolve. What I remember, is that it was like pulling in sides and finding what remained stable. Little did I realize that this is, overall, myself getting tired of the spin of the mind, and also, the realization that I can create these huge storms within myself and become so occupied with them, that I spend a lot of time within them. And, that such things need not determine who and what I am. Also, that I actually create who and what I am within myself1 What I think about, remains with me, from one moment to the next, and it can become this entity within that hangs around, something that I must use my will to correct and something that will run seemingly on its own, unless I change it. And, that it really is a separation from being present and here.

Thus, I create the chaos that is me, I create the information that is me. I am the source of what it is that I am. I am the source of what my capacity to focus and be present here, is.  I have the capacity to focus here, in every moment. Who and what I am is determined by me. The destini I process has helped me to realize this, it has helped me to realize what I am as the thoughts that I have, it has helped me to realize why I have the thoughts that I have and where these thoughts/measures/data come from, meaning how I formed them. The destini I process has helped me to realize what I am doing within myself, just as I had began to understand within practicing musical pieces to perform. The destini I process has helped me to realize that I can focus here, and sort out all the back chat from having focused on measures about this world that I carried, and carry around with me, and that occupy my focus in within what I am doing in every moment. The destini I process has shown me how I work within, and in doing so has helped me to realize who and what I am to a greater degree than I thought possible. The destini I process has helped me to focus myself here, and within this, to begin to trust myself more, just as I had begun to learn and understand with years of practicing the violin. 

Our minds, which we could call our memories, take in pictures about reality. If we believe that picture to more real than what is here, as like that violin and that piece of music, then we ‘ taint’  what we are doing with that memory/thought/data/measure and that then slows down the ability to process here and retain what is a clear measure within what we are doing here which then leads to uncertainty and more consequences of beliefs and ideas and opinions about ourselves that are not the solution into learning to focus here, in what one is doing, enough that the product of the focus is clear enough, because it is not tainted with other thinking, that when one moves to do something, there is more trust and more steady capacity.

Also this is to realize that everything we think, if it is not focused on the practice of being present within what one is doing in physical practical terms, then one is not focused here. This means that when moving to do something, the only choice is to investigate until there are no fuzzy areas of understanding. This means that when moving to do something, the moment there is a fuzzy area, where one does not really know, it means to stop and to investigate until one has a certain and clear understanding of something, and that understanding must be in awareness of the physical world. Otherwise what happens are consequences to the living things around us, as all of us, as everything that is physical because if we are not focused here, on the physical and take actions that are not considerate of all things, we cause harm. It is really a crime to not consider all things, to not take the time to consider what it means to be physical on a physical planet. And, that when we are present, and we investigate and form ‘ proper’ understandings of what we are doing, we become more self trustworthy, and the consequence is more self certainty. This is so much more than being lost in a mind consciousness that is a measure of uncertainty as polarized values of right and wrong, fear of loss and a desire for gain that motivates in a limited bubble of belief meeting obstacles because one is not present and considering all things.  It is so much more than the self interest that is the composition of entities of thought that have no focus on what it is that one truly is, and what one truly is capable of.  We can only know ourselves here, being present here, in this reality. We can only begin to understand what we are if we realize how a mind consciousness that is composed of limited values, that can then direct one in separation from being present is, and how it is formed and how it works. 

We can begin to understand how absorbent we are as we stop and take a look at our present media and all the information that is constantly streamed around us. It is so lit up with music and colored lights and limited stories that we become that information, so great is our capacity to take in information and so dependent we are, or have allowed, a mind consciousness reflecting this information to be believed to be all that we are.  Yet we have allowed this in-doctoring, each of us. And, it is only each of us that can change this. We become what we accept and allow.  We, each one, is responsible for what is the composition of what one is within. No other one can control what one is within one’s self. And yet, what one desires is to be self responsible in ways that allow self to interact and play directly in clear and secure ways, with the reality as the physical world that is around us. This is what we truly desire to be. This is being equal and one with life. I would suggest to begin to sort out what is up there in this self accepted and allowed mind consciousness, and begin the process of grounding yourself back into the physical world. This is where, being equal and one to the physical, that  one can live within the potential that is right there as who and what each one is.
Gift yourself the greatest gift, the gift of being grounded, self responsible, certain, present , aware -within and without- as this is what is real living. The destini I process lite is free. Come down out of the spin of a mind consciousness and gift yourself the presence of yourself as life.

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