Looking at Stories ; Continuing Obstructions Day 782

I am looking at stories. I am looking at meter, at measure, at time. 

There is something called a mini-day schedule. It is where one has a form of measure of time, where during a certain space in time, each day, one takes care of certain actions in relation to one’s enterprise. 

Meaning, for example, from 10 am to 12 pm, one takes care of all correspondence. One writes letters, or makes phone call. Then, from 12 pm. to 1 pm, one does all tasks for another part of one’s business. Perhaps checking necessary paper work etc. Within that space, that measure, one does all that one can do for the day within that framework. If something is not finished, one follows through the next day in the same frame of time. Ofcourse, this is flexible, yet the overall frame, is the structural basis.  In this, one does the ordinary necessary things each day, that then, within the law of compounding, or accumulation, builds the whole, or the extra-ordinary.  Quite simple. And, what one could call, as an outcome, a story. it becomes the course of events, having rises and falls, within our present way of looking at things, into the steps that build a picture, or build any number of things, of outcomes. Some may consider such a story uninspiring. Yet, what is a story other than a series of events? 

This begs the question as to how humans listen to stories about a series of events, from another’s life? Mostly, the ‘ he said, she said “ stories.  In this, often such stories have both details and emotional value judgements, even happy moments. The overall feelings and emotions, of the good and the bad, being a colored part of the story.  That additional color of emotions, of and as value judgements,  creating a filler in the space of and as the story, where we need those colors, because we have become those colors, and are therefor, used to the math, the tempo to such an extent we acclimate to that ‘ beat.’  It is a separation from the practical, and from real creation, from real respect of the practical that builds real things, that enables real presence and equal respect of creation, as the physical. This physical world a real sense of creation. The colored, value judgement world,  like a hot air balloon surrounding and separating one from what is stable, as this physical creation.  Can this, that we accumulate and acclimate to, make what differs from such, as the practical where we are not actually doing and moving, appear, by comparison, boring and slow? Which story line would actually be more stable? 

I look at teenagers, who are mostly repelled by the history in text books put together by a federal entity, as the storied line of events by a victor who has accepted and allowed, as us too, a word to be placed to define a private bank, called the unclear and deceptive name as ‘ The Federal Reserve” ?  Is it possible, that because of our own practice as stories, or sequences of events as larger than life, filled with ideological ‘ good and evil’  as value judgements, superimposed on the practical reality of doing the ordinary to create the extraordinary,  as a state within, create a cursory perception that does assumes the general statement of the name of this entity as the “ federal reserve’ to have a relationship to the government as being the government, when it is not? Do we look behind the measure as the words, as the math of what this name inscribed in stone on the head stone of a building? Do we see behind the veil of this series of words, and define the terms projecting out towards us, in practical action, as what those words mean as the sequence of events they compose in action behind the pillars in our world?  The deception, the ‘ lack’ of ception, the lack of real seeing, is so right in our face, that through acceptance, because of not realizing the very meter, measure, math, spatial division of events, we miss, as we are so defined by ‘ good and evil’ as polarized superimposed value judgements, that we are so elevated from what is ordinary and the means to getting things done that that storied smoke and mirrors, or resonant shadows emanating from our flesh as our accepted and allowed practices, defining ourselves, automated through that practice of projecting ‘ good and bad’ that a conception of deception is allowed, instead of using a natural spatial ability, or real critical and creative thinking skills, or sensation of reality as what our physical bodies are so capable as their natural function? 

Do I allow that deception to become real when I in any moment, believe it is impossible to change? This, especially, when what is real remains and what is not of real substance, as what sustains the practical, as the physical, is that which is constant, under all the storied information creating religion, and a history that is of the same polarized value judgements, blaming and spiting one person, one event, one nation, in our history books of the same form of deception? Have a look, in the order of growing a tree, one places a seed in the ground, ensures it has the basics, as water, nutrients, sunlight, etc. and the tree will grow. It is what it is, no projected survival games of good and bad, change the physical properties of that sequence of ordinary events/math/measure  that build that tree, that tree that does practical actions during its day, to move from the ordinary into the extraordinary.  That building, that sequence, that is the means of real conception, of real presence.  

To focus ourselves back into that, means slowing down and breathing. It means writing out of deceptions, to place our superimposed math, as series of events resonant within, to realize our own separation from who and what we are, and as that how things are done to become equal to what is constant and real, as that stone on which deceptive and unclear words are etched.  The stone is more real than those unclear words, and those words cannot exist without that stone, which is why the corps that are hidden under the guise of ‘ governance’ for the people that is moving as a reflection of the accumulated series of events within each as that projected value judgements  as the game of good and evil, that is a separation from the practical, as the living of ordinary events that effectively create the means of what we are, as physical beingness, as that which is always here, always right in plain sight.  What is religion but a distraction from what is real? 

There is reason within the reason that men are happy when they know something, when they know how to complete a series of events that create a real and sustainable living form. There is a reason why value judgements separate one from practical action, and leave a residual sense of anxiety and uncertainty.  If one has practiced value judgements over the practical, as one’s  mini- series of events,  one accumulates that math, that we can call, beliefs, opinions and ideas,  creating a mini - day schedule of spinning in value judgements eating up ones life, and missing what is in plain sight. one becomes a walking bubble of swirling colors, revealing what one has focused upon, determining one’s eventual lack of spatial ability, as one ages and turns into having difficulty walking on the ground, or up a flight of steps, because one has separated one’s self and followed the words on a stone, without any real defining of what those words mean in practical movement, as the series of events they create in real time, here.  It is, in all, a crime against life, a ception rhyme, against the measure of creation.    After all, what is a rhyme, but a series of words, as a series of events, as written down ‘ orders’ to follow, accepted and allowed, building a construct what? Is that construct sustaining and caring for this physical reality in ways that do no harm? As that principle, of and as ‘ doing no harm’  that demands real defining of practical actions as the cause and effect of a series of directives/events in the practical order of respecting all things? 

Overall, our words, must be related to the real, to the practical, to reality. Each word we speak must be in tune with this physical reality, as that tree and how it is built. It is to stop eating the fruit of that tree to sustain the illusion of ‘ good and evil’ and to instead remain steady in the practical action of respecting the physical reality as creation. This one law, is really the only law we need, it is that law of ‘ giving as one would receive’, it is the law of being equal and one, to the series of actions as events, that built this living creation all around us as the physical. If we realized the physical as creation, as us, would this world stop contracting like an aging human, getting smaller and smaller, with greater and greater extremes of weather, just as age ( a series of events as what one accumulated within one’s actions, be that a sum of value judgements within one’s self, becoming the resonant seed of ego, that is separation from reality manifest? )  brings forth greater and greater dis-ease manifest as a loss of spatial ability? 

What we are doing, as what we are allowing, is so right in front of us. The illusion, is that this is impossible to change. One need only stand, and sound the ordinary all around us, that is real so much more than that limited and tiny resonance of separation composed of value judgements within and as our words, creating our thoughts, leading our habits into actions that cause con-sequences that are not what is best and that are not in alignment with the principle of equality, as the one law, as taking that which is good and does no harm. That choice is always right here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the measure of me, within and as my thoughts of and as opinions and ideas filled with value judgements, of right and wrong, more than and less than, comparison within limited frameworks of values, separated from the practical measure/math/rhyme/sequence/ series/stories of the practical and actual real physical reality where nothing/no thing was ever done within and as thinking, as the focus of and as me, gets things done within focusing on the practical, as the ordinary on a physical reality where no one does all of what is actually physically here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I move into a belief, as an opinion, as an idea, as something being impossible, I am actually not present here, in this reality, equal and one with the practical as being the ordinary real sequence of events, as actions that create in a physical reality, here, as this is what, in all simplicity what common sense is and does.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I am not present, I am not seeing the practical ordinary steps that create.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize, and stand within and as, equal and one, with what is here, as the practical as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the words on the side of a building, as ‘ federal reserve’ say nothing about what that entity as a series of steps, which can be a frame - lacking considering of being and doing as what life is in expression, as allowing no harm, as realizing what takes that which is good and does no harm, as allowing no collateral damage, in any way shape and form, is the means to aligning all, equal and one to this creation that is physical as life would be, in all common sense, as the principle of oneness and equality being in respect of all things, realizing we are all the same, that we are not born with religion, or language, or culture as this is imposed upon us, accepted by us, where what is real, is the practical application as what and who we are, as physical life, as life would be, in all practical common sense, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and underatsnd that any thoughts within and as me, are thinking, based on a past, of and as not being in alignment with the practical as the physical, as nothing was ever done within and as thinking about it, as doing involves focus here, with all of me, as what common sense is and does, this but a slight shift, out of a resonance built within, as accepted series of value judgements separating myself from here, composed of hyper-sensationalizing, creating a roller coaster of movement within me, of a sinking and a falling, of a false positive as a high, unsustainable and thus not being of and as life, grounded and present here as presence is calm, just as when one is truly focused here, where one has a sense of knowing, as a sense that is calm and stable, consistent and steady, as I, as life, am the most perfect of forms to be and live the practical, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all that is here, is me in another life, as life information, and that any movement within and as me, as a ‘ pull’ into an inner picture show, is a hyper institutionalized ideological limited and singular state of measure that cannot withstand the text of time, because it cannot fit, as a math, into life, here, and thus is an indication of and as myself being in a state of separation from the practical living reality that is life information that is me and all around me, as the physical here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the depths of my separation, as a mis-use of the imagination, as a singular entity creating a bubble of values, as a superimposition of and as resonance, as a form of inversion, within me, as value judgements, as the story of good and bad, right and wrong, more than and less than, when I already am the ‘ more’ as the value being all around me as the physical, thus am I already here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I accept a schooling system of and as sitting in a room, with only children of the same age, following and following and following written knowledge and information, without practical application, I am in effect programming myself as a resonant bubble of limited information, creating an attention dis-order from realizing who and what I am, by design, within and as being the very nature of common sense, which is why the design of schools and media, constantly projected and limited, is always present here that is only a reflection of my own acceptance and allowances of and as separation into a hyper-sensationalized reality of and as value judgements, , as the resources freely given, of this earth are then owned by words on a page and thus only real through acceptance and allowance,  is the false story of information that is imposed, and not in alignment with common sense, as who and what I am am, as  physicality that is life information  here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I go to a ‘ climate change’ meeting, that the person/personificaiton of and as data collection being shared, and yet said to be a projection, is ideological, where if I ONLY follow such, and abdicate my own common sense, as what I live around me, as it not being warmer overall, but more of and as extremes in weather, as colder temperature dips in winter, and hotter temperature swings in summer, with stronger winds overall, that what I physically notice does not fit into that data model.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that within and as the game of fear, as the game of survival, as the game of separation from reality, as the inversion of myself as beliefs, opinions and ideas, of good and bad, right and wrong, good and evil, more than and less than, I am being shown within myself an imbalance towards what is practical and real, and if I look, a state that is lacking in calm and presence, as focus, as attention onto what is actual and real, as the practical actions on/in a physical life, as life would be, in expression, physical and always here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is one way forward, and that is to become equal and one with what is here, which means standing through the storm of nyperrealized value judgements as actions, as a lack of focus, as a lack of presence , as a lack of calm, as that hyperinflation state of being, as value judgements accepted through comparison, competition instead of acceptance of and as who and what is here, as what is real, as what is the real story of and as life, as the building blocks of the physical reality, here, in plain sight,  as real creation information in expression, that is the same as me, where no one, has ever done any one thing as things are composed of many things in union, in balance, as the very composition of life, here, which is physical, in all common sense, and to exist expresses the principle of oneness and equality, of and as to take that which is good and does no harm here. 

When and as I find myself standing anywhere here, as myself here, as a physical form, in relationship to all things that are the same as me, I breath, I remain here, I focus here, I attend to here, I lis-ten to the practical, physical reality, and I realize the tiny movement, of and as a mind consciousness system of and as all being reaction, as defense in view of threat, as that threat is a separation from being in a state of knowing, as realizing a series of events, as a story, of and as taking that which is good and does no harm, as being present in the practical reality as the physical. 

When and as I am here, in every moment, I breath, I forgive that which is not of and as a focus here, as an attention to here, I see, realize and understand, as practice, this reality, as the practical actions of and as life as physical expression,  as no thing can define me,  as all threats are of and as fear, as a state of being focused is more a state of knowing, as no thing was ever done within thinking, as all things are done with focus, on the practical, as the physical world that is life in creaiton, in expression here. 

When and as I find myself in a state of fear, as a belief in threat, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, to realize the thread, as the series of events, with hyper sensationalized values, to stop and be practical in listening, in stringing the use of associations, as a series of relationships , to realize the composure as a resonance as a belief system, always lacking real calm, real direction, real insight, as what presence in the physical is and does, here. 

Interesting. I am going to look at the word “ thread’ as I noticed a movement within and as my upper chest and neck and throat area! Thank you for reading! 

Romanticizing a relationship Day 761

It is interesting how I am drawn to look at certain things, while at the same time not seeing what is right in front of me that I am telling myself. 

What I have been focused on is processing speeds, as being able to do the math, within the patterns as words, that describe, lol de-scribe , the focus of myself.  I can’t see what is in plain sight, as I am so focused on the pictures and the story that there is not reflection within the whole, as this living reality.

I am a series of relationships, as values, that I hold, to project an idea, which is how the mind works as a web of separation from this practical and physical reality. That is just it. This point that the relationship of values, is the composition of who and what I am as a persona, just as creation is a relationship of values, and just as another as the same, is a relationship of values. Just as I have focused on the constructs of words, and just a s a soap opera is built, so is this the same in what is here, whether in division or in equality to what is real, as the physical. Therefor, I am focusing on an innate understanding of this, taking it apart, and yet not seeing the forest through the trees. On one level, what I am drawn to, is exposing what I am realizing, yet I have gotten so caught up in the idea only. This causes anxiety, as though I am juggling and the balls are getting ahead of me, because I have not remained grounded. 

I also realize that listening to others is very important, to see the patterns, as a math, as a series of relationships that build what I call a scream that is ultimately a longing to be whole. I remember being 12 and being obsessed with this. I wanted to understand the scream, so it is a theme I carry with me, that can also become a distraction, as it is a relationship between values that I have allowed myself to hold. I believe this is probably true of everyone, if they make the choice to look, as the means of separation from being focused and present in the practical is the same. In the stories of information as a series of relationships is both the longing for self and the sequences that separate the self from the real presence of self in awareness, as a focused respect of life, as the physical. 

To jump here, to remembering the death of my husband, I relive the sadness of this, remembering that a part of me thought that a great beauty was lost in his death. And, at the same time the impossibility of realizing why this was not lived. How could this come to  be extinguished? Since this was what I was projecting, this was really myself. What I projected outward was what I was seeing within myself. And to note, that the support of the people around me, after his death, were, to me, these words that did not describe the whole picture. I got to the point where I did not want any pity, and I dd not want to hear supportive statements of regret because they were in no way solving the problem. 

When I allow only the thoughts of and as ‘ there being a great beauty’ and ‘ it is impossible’ to realize this, to sort this out, there is also the voice within me, for as long as I can remember as ‘ NO, this cannot be so.”  My family made fun of this part of me, that person that did not have the answer yet often said in frustration, that what was accepted simply could not be so. I, after all these years on this planet, simply will not give up. 

I can focus on these inner billboard signs as idea, and use them like a life jacket, in a moment, yet the motivation of and as “ this cannot be so’ as the positive, and the negative sense as a form that this is impossible, and that a beauty has been lost as a superiority of and as a good, are forms that can take my focus, and distract me from being simple and normal and present in this reality. This is what and how a mind consciousness works. It is a math, as a sequence of forms as beliefs, opinions and ideas that can become a thing, better known as an idol, that distract from being present and in equality to life. Meaning, one is so present, one has no value judgements, one is practical and in focus on the life. One is in a relationship with all things, understanding their expression in form and function. It is really very simple. The mind exists within stories of good and bad, right and wrong, rise and fall, protagonist and antagonist, antecedent and consequence. Limited, narrowly framed, bound. Nothing to do with balance of sound in form and function. This demands seeing towards creation.  Look at ordering something, it is merely placing things into an order. 

In all, this persona of and as these things, is myself focusing on a lack, and not being here - really listening to this reality. To accept the physical as reality, this life, in expression, would mean I would have no fear of death, because in essence, being here, with this reality as life in expression would mean that there really is no death. It just means listening to here, moving with and as here, as the physical.

More interference as mind consciousness systems of separation .Day 759

“Interference theory is theory regarding human memory. Interference occurs in learning when there is an interaction between the new material and transfer effects of past learned behavior, memories or thoughts that have a negative influence in comprehending the new material. Bringing to mind old knowledge has the effect of impairing both the speed of learning and memory performance.”  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interference_theory

Last night, in the middle of the night, there was a sudden and loud banging on my front door. It took me a minute to rise and walk down the stairs. There was a policeman there telling me something had happened to my mother.

What I noticed was a lot of adrenaline bringing to move through me as I walked down the stairs. I could hear the voices in my head wanting to move into worst case scenarios, and imagining possible reasons for the visit in the middle of the night.

I said to myself, that I don’t know until I know, meaning i have to investigate what is going on a face it, instead of become emotional and follow all this interferences from that past. All this ‘ old knowledge” some of which is influenced within stories from the doom and gloom war mongering media hollywood information, as a movie is a body of information. Some was of self blame; it is amazing how we do tend to be hardest on ourselves, wondering what we did or did not do.

I remember in my thirties, after I had children, when I had to go to orchestra rehearsals and I could not hold, or retain, or remember what key I was in. This was something that had become so automatic. Meaning i glanced at the key signature and new where i was in terms of the division as the math of the notes in reading the piece. I got to the point where I was aware of the fact that if I carried some ‘ emotional’ thing with me, it would interrupt my processing of the music. I had to be clear.  

I had also been told by a master, and i have said this before, that if I focused correctly, I did not have to practice some inordinate number of hours, it could be done effectively in less time. it took me a while to get this. When I did, I realized I had to totally focus on what I was doing. If I allowed some interference, I was slowed down.

 lol, in another system, the term ‘ teachability index’ is used to describe one’s ability to process information ( which means the living space mourned us and this interference slowing down awareness in others AND the self).  In this other system, I have had people use the excuse that ‘ their teachability index was low.”  This kind of excuse is a form of blame. In music, one cannot say this. Period. We cannot say as we have to rehearse and perform “ my focus is not good today, I have some emotional thing resonant within me and it is slowing me down. Or, ‘ My speed of learning and memory performance is not at a good level today’ cannot also be said in music.  And yet, we allow this in so any other areas of our lives. When a musician cannot perform, it effects all the others in the group. IN so many ways this is a disrespect of others, and yet our society moves to pamper such behavior which is the opposite of resolution, it is the opposite of bringing one back up to speed where solutions are realized. Someone has said that depression is a form of self interest, in this regard, from the perspective of music, it is a state of disregard for others. 

In tandem with my early morning, I had a long conversation with someone early this morning. I let them talk, I let them tell the whole sequence of events as a time line of and as what they wanted to convey. At the end, and it is cool to realize that people will summarize everything that have explained once again to themselves ( and do it again and again) into a singular statement. The statement at the end of this conversation was that there person of whom they spoke was overall ‘ toxic.” 

Do we see where I am going with this? I begin with talking about a slow learning ability, and a sluggish memory processing in relation to my own movements in reaction to someone banging on my door in the middle of the night - and yes I did breathe. As I allowed a person to describe a situation, that ended with a descriptive, as the word ‘ toxic’ I realized that they were describing actions by a human being lost in emotional interference. This person was the same as me, when I realized I could not focus on the key I was in, as I had other things interfering with my focus, my presence in reality. At the time it scared me, in my thirties and I wondered how this could be happening.

Within this conversation I used the word toxic and began to describe it as best I could as an emotional firewall. I described how that emotional firewall moved in such a way that everything around that person was not their fault, and always the fault of others. It was a cry of blame, and also a cry of not being able to connect, because that resonant interference had become so big, there was no longer any ability to connect to others. At the end of the conversation, this person also noted that this person could not connect with others. Can we begin to see, how our past, composed of conversations of good and bad, righteousness and blame, spite and justification as the voices in our minds, as the mind, can consume our presence and separate us from processing what is here, in practical and effective ways? Can we realize that a mind consciousness system is not some mystical supernatural invisible thing, it is right here, it is visible in the focus of our presence, it is in the words we speak, it is in the physical movements of and as us. Do children have this heaviness, the sluggishness of this within them when they are young? ( To note, the number one killer in children is cancer before childhood accidents which has only happened in that last decade - a red flag) 

An example is, that when we become a state of comparison, ONLY seeing what another person can express, be it the courage to wear a colored scarf, and we react, and become jealous what are we NOT LEARNING? What are we NOT realizing we are existing as as a value system that is like a checklist of ‘ orders as belief’ that we are ONLY USING AS MEMORY, and thereby missing so much of the other values, or that this person with this colored scarf looks nice and that the scarf is actually FUN, and that questions what, we can also do that as there is nothing stopping us but belief. She how much an interference of judgement that is not processing the practical reality can become as a lack of real expression? 

A mind consciousness system is a system of interference as a mis-use of the imagination, it is not some big scary thing that we must fear or treat as some interrupting thing, because it is so visible! It is toxic and it is a disrespect of life, and it must be made known in every action. 

When i took apart how this person so clearly described the behaviors of this other person, and described the projections and the resistance to real living relationships that are relationships of clearly processing our memories AND using what is more natural as an ability to LEARN, it downsized the whole scenario and understanding the behaviors, to the extent that the emotional reactions about this, suddenly became much smaller. Thus, to speak up about this, in every moment, is an act of improving the use of one’s memory, AND opening up one’s natural ability to LEARN, to understand, to make simple, to realize the practical. 

Tomorrow I am going to talk about my experience with formulaic troll letters, as they are a math to trigger all manner of emotional reactions, thereby slowing down one’s ability to process and learn.  

Thank you for reading. Get your word recognition skills moving. Listen to the math of separation that is a mind consciousness system. It is not rocket science, it is visible and able to be understood. None of us really want to be an emotional firewall resisting the life around us. What we really want is to be who and what we really are. And, we need one another, all of us, to be the potential behind that wall of interference of mis-takes on the practical and living reality around us. 

Interference Theory Day 758

“Interference theory is theory regarding human memory. Interference occurs in learning when there is an interaction between the new material and transfer effects of past learned behavior, memories or thoughts that have a negative influence in comprehending the new material. Bringing to mind old knowledge has the effect of impairing both the speed of learning and memory performance.”  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interference_theory

This is a quote I found that I realize describes a mind consciousness system. It describes that we can hold a resonant story of information. It describes that we can carry past movements, or pictures within and as us, that can then become an interference with being focused and present in the practical. It does slow down learning, as learning. Children in their first seven years learn more rabidly. This begins to slow down by the third grade.  IN all of this, what is described by destine is mapped out in our behaviors in and as other areas. we simply do not realize the depth of this and what this means overall. As a mind consciousness, as a individual ‘ heaven’ we lose sight of what is real, how we work and the consequences of not realizing how we work.

Yesterday I had a conversation with an older adult in my world. They recited some knowledge and information about various people in the world. Meaning, recited information about one race being more intelligent than another, by some measurable standards based on an ability to process information. After all, one can accumulate a somewhat correct structure within as knowledge and information about something and be creative within that, yet is the consequences of that formation harm anything in the physical world then it is not complete, yet within separation as social circles, absent of consequences, they will not see the consequences of their actions, that many appear to be solutions. Sometimes solutions are cool as a segue, yet such options must be available for all, as a benefit, if they are only for a few, at the expense of others, then it is a good that is not being given to everyone. This is unacceptable.

Within this, this idea that one race is more than another, what is forgotten is that that group that may have a greater ability to assess more information and appear to be more productive, what is not brought forward and recognized is how such a division has happened. I went to this talk a man gave about having been interested in a really old excavation in Turkey. The foundational remnants of the buildings were of an old race of people who evidently, according to the documentation found, had a non war-like society. They had a more equitable society. This man was looking for examples of this in the world, in his search for such a way of living.  I ask myself, within what is understood in education, that opportunity breeds capacity, that if a race allows this in the people. within a more equitable society, would that race over time, be in general a more capable people? Just as there is  a war on for the mind, done with information flow, creating a resonant memory as a interference of real presence and focus on reality, would there be a competition to eliminate whole races if another race wanted to dominate the world, that being an understanding that the human form, the physical form, just as animals can also learn when given opportunity, can accumulate as a collective an ability to remain in what is natural and live in greater equality to reality and therefor be more productive, allowing all opportunity for the general good understanding the whole is as good as the parts? And, that the more developed this is the greater the capacity of the group, this group of men, that have allowed this become a threat to other groups that have as a collective allowed the collective belief system as a collective ego want to destroy that more equitable structured people, because that is a threat to their personal storied belief system?  And yet, this means that each and all men can form a ore perfect union even within our differences, because differing environments create different actions as the world is at present in climate. It is amazing how the media can create a busy-ness within a narrow focus between two things that cannot be divided as they are quantumly both needed in development. Remember, one cannot learn to play the violin by mastering the parts individually in isolation, it is a progressive building in awareness of all the parts working together that fine tunes each individual part. 

In understanding this , to suggest that one is more than another as a fixed idea is the same as one does individually within comparison of another person. The collective in-structions of a group, simply reveal the math of their ideas, and how when that does not fit into reality via actions that are causing harm, means that what has been allowed to inform them , as direct them, is an interference with what and who they are as human beings. Within this, we can begin to realize that the media is not imparting information that is best for all, that lends an opportunity for each to self realize in ways, and by extension develop clear resonances that inform the next generation towards being effective in their movements and actions that have respect for the practical and physical world. The war on information, is in itself, an expression of separation from practical reality. It is a storm in a televised ‘ tea cup’ that is in itself a distraction as an interference from reality, from the life around us. 

We need only look at the increase in cognitive dissonance in our children, given names under a general heading as “ attention deficit dis-orders.” Cognitive dissonance is a state of being in a lie, it means one is lying, it is confusion, it is the acceptance of limited story, causing a non-fit into the practical. It is a transfer bias of a limited story as confusion is caused through a mis-information of what is real. This becomes a separation from reality, and interrupts learning and builds a me-more-y that is a false positive.  I mean, in reality, by comparison, we no longer have apprenticeships, where a person can go and live something. 

I understand that the Russians evidently projected the resonance of a frog onto some kind of fish eggs, or some other egg. The outcome was evidently that the eggs became frogs. Within this, I remember years ago reading about how a plant that is a relative of a native plant when planted in the area of a its relatives that are more indigenous, that plant will revert back to the native plant. I planted some Japanese lettuce that was very bitter, and that came back the next year without me having to plant seeds. This lettuce that tasted somewhat like dandelions, eventually became just like dandelions. Of course, someone could say the local dandelions took over, but I am not so sure, the leaves are somewhat different, as dandelions can have different leave shapes; some are more round and some have more spikes shaped leaves. The point being, that what resonates influences us, and that what is more of a balance, will eventually become what is in the environment. To not allow this, one must continually push contrary information. Thus, this is information that is counter to what is balanced and normal and able to be held consistently without causing a state of interference, visible in one’s ability, or lack of ability, to process information.  In effect, the existence of an interference within processing information with ease, as the reality and what is within one as a mind construct of mis-information as not the real story, is a transfer memory of information that both slows down learning/absorbing information and  memory performance. 

One need only look at taking tests in school, and all the anxiety within that, and the stress, to realize that one was caught in memorizing a construct of information that hindered processing and caused a memory of friction and personal conflict. It is all here, simple and practical, and hidden in plain sight. We, each are allowing this, and we must realize this, forgive ourselves, and bring our heavens of and as mis-information, to allow us to balance out equal and one to the real, living physical reality called life as this planet earth. 

Thank you for reading. 

What is Draining the Swamp ? Day 752

I had a conversation within someone where the ‘ math’ or equation as words contained value judgements as ideas, beliefs and opinions. Myself, though not emotionally reactive to a large degree, found myself rushing to answer to ideas brought forward. It is about, for me at the moment, bringing things down to practical basics, or, down to real time, on a physical planet, down to the ground, to the simple.

It is when things are voiced again, as though being brought forward as a truth, lacking details of the basics as to what we human beings are, and how we accumulated what we practice in thought, word and deed,  that I sense within me a rushing, which is a fear, as a drive to be correct or right. In this I lose my own perspective, and begin to drive, to combat, to force, to beg. 

I noticed that my shoulders come forward as though they are a protective border for my chest, as though I sink in my chest, thrust out my arms in a behavior of expecting a blow. IT is as though the ‘ blow’ of something, already happened. It is as though, the words or behaviors which are a collection of words, reflecting ideas, opinions and beliefs, based on a past, on an environment, where the words also reveal wants and needs in relation to fulfilling ideas, and beliefs and opinions, to make such correct, or dominant, towards a goal that is in itself, lacking consideration of all things, of the basic starting point of being a physical being on a physical planet. Instead, a layer of ideology, lacking practical consideration, is what is projected, personified, self defining, becoming a self interest elevated from the practical, this in itself lacking in any real sustainability, thus the nature of it, is, as energy, unsustainable, uncertain, and therefor, this has a forcing that is justification, because one has to get this out fast, in a way, before it is exposed, revealed, seen for what it is as what a justification hides. An emotional firewall of distraction, in protection of what?  

With the way I hold my shoulders, there is an underlying belief, that I am constantly in combat, as such movements of self preservation as personality, are the way things are. I must brace myself for the storm. It is so interesting, how what we practice, as what we believe, accumulates into physical behaviors, where I, as a reference, realize that I practiced this fear, this protection and defense, based on expectation as a judgement, that I am constantly being bombarded with stories of information lacking practical grounding in reality, ( as I am/was the same as what I speak of)  and that I must brace myself for this. I was so busy with this that I did not realize that which I did, that which I accepted, that which I then practiced, based on a belief, again and again and again, until this became so automated and embedded into my flesh, that it took time within slowing down and breathing, getting out and working through this, until I began to notice myself own self accepted constructions automated into my very flesh, determining my starting point, even when I realized this, slowed down listened to the words of others - all based in the same manner yet of differing measure - that I began to see where the process of synchronizing all of this, within and without, revealed how much I was doing that which I was unaware of, it had become such a habit. And, to note, that I feel like I am having deja vu, in this moment, because I have been here before, realizing the depth of my own deception in the construction of my own personification, of ideas, beliefs and opinions. 

How, on the one hand, within learning a musical instrument, I could see what the accumulation of my actions allowed, and moved into a flow, that I could them become automated in, to the degree where I actually lost control, and then had to reintegrate my movements with presence, and yet, not see this in who and what I am as a living human being on a physical planet? The simplicity with which manipulation is achieved, is astounding. Chaos, is done through limitation. That limitation separates from a natural awareness, as evident in the fact that children are not born with the dogma of religion or politics. And at this point in history, we can see that the religions and politics we allow on this planet, are not grounded in practical applications that consider all things and only take that which does no harm, which, to note, would mean that ensuring no harm means really taking the time to understand things, practically. Our religions and political systems tout themselves as lending morality, which if they need to tout this, it begs the question as to why? Because having to say something in a separate context, means that it is no longer self evident- which is a red flag in itself. A real morality, would be an honesty about the practical, giving as one would receive, which means doing unto another as the self would for the self, and the self, as life, would in a state of balance, not choose harm. 

In my conversation, that I noticed a rushing to prove something, even though smaller, I noticed my shoulders and chest taking on a formation of “expectation of coming blows”, done verbally, as a math of constructs as ideas, that I had to move in some way towards. It can be so subtle, what has accumulated and become automatically personified. When I am this, I am not objective about the content, nor am I as available to the math as the words, because I am caught up in a focus of expectation as protection, instead of real processing of reality. Again, I must realize that nothing can define me, but what I accept and allow.  And, that what is here can be ‘ played’ with as reformed, as grounded in the practical, in synch with this reality. And, also, that words can be used to define, to clarify, and to investigate to lend greater presence into awareness of all things. It is, in some ways, that considering the physical, is far easier than moving through mind constructs that I have me-more-eyed ( a resonant energy memory), automated and inter-netted within and as me, in separation from reality. Being in the math of a resonant memory, moves, by design, like a slow motion syrup. At times, with some, it is as though it can be sensed as a thick moving time frame- like a piece of music lost in a tempo unaware of itself. 

In tandem with this, is that sense of ‘ playing’ in a quiet and calm manner, where that construct of information comes like a movie towards me, as words, and behaviors somewhat similar to my own, of different dimension and color, as that same automation in others as my own, that sometimes I get a glimpse of, a sense of joy as being at ease can exist. It is like it is a problem that can be solved, like when one really knows their algebra, and can see the answer to the equation instantly, as one has practiced it enough to get to that point.  And yet, again, a morality in some way, within me, that moving into being playful and joyful about this, is simply not allowed. It is like a line I cannot cross. I see fear, and a belief that such is not possible. Like, how dare I even think about being this. And a sense that being so, leads to mistakes. Yet, if I look, the one fed the other, as the protection and defense system of expecting blows, which is a belief that I am somehow not enough, as I did not know how to decode and recode with clear communication, as I was more than likely a child, lacking language, that this whole persona - as a math, as a measure- was the choice that I made. I accepted and allowed this, and no one can change this but the self as me. It does not matter if it is my fault alone or not. And yet, calling this out by name, cancels it out, as calling things by name takes away that which is supposed, or assumed to be hidden. It is like, ‘ I can no longer go there.”

I met with another person, who agreed with the things I am saying above, and yet, on another front they denied in action that of which they agreed. They said they could not read a book that presented information through a venue that was overall counter to their belief.  This means they could not process out the relationship within the overall venue, to see the good in the book that was more of a universal form. This in itself,  reveals a relationship too polarized and of judgement, as the emotional value judgement about something, was too prominent, to bypass, to see through the graph into the substantive elements in the construct.  I myself am guilty of this, as there are books I pick up to read that have so much clutter around a cool point, that I decide to put them down.  

Last night I tested this out, and picked up such a book, and decided to highlight the key points that made sense, around the clutter. It made processing the form, the information, with greater ease, as I gave myself a behavior, to ground in the noise of the book’s words. It was also a point of looking at where I was rushing through passages, to make sure I was clear on my assessment, and to see that the person writing the book was themselves processing to make more sense. We must remember that words on a page, are just that, they can never be the real thing, and they always describe something. Unless one has real living experience with something, one cannot make a determination that the words on a page are valid. And, to realize, that there is so much in our immediate environments that reflect this reality, that we can relate things to the world around us to realize if words on a page are indeed substantive.  For example, I have seen more and more wild animals with mange that I can remember in my local environment. This is a red flag, because it shows an imbalance in nature, a tipping point in some way. With all the chemicals humans are taking and using, as pesticides and herbicides, did we not realize that such things of apparent no-significant-difference would eventually accumulate in our environments though our discharge of waste from what we eat and the chemicals that we take to supposedly maintain our health?  Would not such things in the law of building through accumulation, become an elephant in the room,  to the extent they burdened the environment to the point it weakened and effected the natural wild life? Yes, and this reveals how deep and ingrained is a personification in separation from this living reality. One must ask one’s self how automated has one become as ideas, beliefs and opinions, that motivate actions in a zombified way that is  a state of distraction via a composed resonant memory, to the extent one is not aware of what one places in one’s body and how much, over time the accumulation of such, as tiny small movements, affects the ecology of the planet. 

The quantification of separation is visible, in every move, in every word. One need only slow down, breath, begin to deconstruct one’s accepted and allowed personality as automated behaviors, and see through the emotional firewall built of limited and supposed beliefs to this living physical reality. One must, open up one’s chest of sensibility , as presence, and realize the value is life, as living in a physical composition as what life would be within the very means as the physical and being present within this, in consideration of all things, realizing the patterns of separation as a lack of focus on this living reality. Overall, what is more constant, is the symbiotic regenerative nature of a tree, than what are the practices of men at this point in time on this earth. One must change up one’s processing, deconstruct a resonant memory and begin moving  in relating words to reality, and thereby, begin to see in the momentum a default of automated beliefs, made personalities and deconstruct them to reconstruct a more balanced and grounded and respectful practice that is a relationship of living equal and one to how things are built, and how things in nature work, and how one can move more in synch with life. 

Presence and resonance beingness . Who am I? Day 744

In my last blog I wrote about sensing what can only be called a resonant change within myself, after living in a foreign country. I wrote about how I noticed a physical resistance that precipitated    calling out a behavior as being extreme where previously, before living in another country, I had no physical resistance or reaction towards such behavior. All of this indicating how I can, within seven years, change the very resonance of me, as a comfort zone of the stance, or the acclimated values within me, or, relationships I composed myself within and as.  When my environment changed, and was no longer the ‘ song’ or ‘ math’ or collectively accepted values of a group, I physically reacted. It appears to be a sense of being out of synch with my surroundings, yet I started to notice the differences and projected the differences as something outside of myself.  I could have become so focused on the differences ONLY, yet managed to realize that I had acclimated to the ‘ stance’ of my new environment. 

How often does this happen in other areas of my life? And/or am I as near to being fluid in seeing the patterns and movements of this overall? Meaning, do I apply how much a resonance of values  are what I face, what I meet, when I interact with others? If I do not understand this, are those moments of projection and calling out of a behavior, a labeling that behavior being weird or extreme, without realizing the interaction of resonant values bumping up against another, as being a relationship ? Do I realize that I am simply in a juxtaposition of values imbedded in the flesh as what has become an acclimated stance within? Do I tend to resist what does not ‘ resonate’ with me, because I have become so self involved that I have lost all perspective of seeing and realizing this? Ultimately, how is it that this has not moved me to realize that the only thing that is real is the physical? And/or that taking on a value, as focusing on something, is okay, yet must always refer to what is in the moment as the greater world around me, within an understanding that what is practiced, if not reviewing the whole overall, can become resonant within, and then direct the flesh to the point where, as I did, react physically? What would happen if this is not understood? I can think of many reactions, as resistance I have done and lived, because I did not understand this! I, instead, in my self centered self interest ONLY,  believed my resonance to be more real than what was around me. I blamed this very default happening in others, on that resonance, even went into fear of it, instead of realizing the whole and the parts of and as how this all works. 

Is it not also so easy to realize at this point that this is what the proverbial ‘ valley of smoke and mirrors’ is in fact? Where to hide what is real, but right in front of us. as the within made larger than the without, and the without being what is real, and what is similar to being a ‘ master mind’ in that what would ground is referencing all things, and balancing out within that, this in itself a practice lending greater flexibility , or less stagnant inner stance of values in a bubble.  After all, then, what is a mind consciousness system? If one’s focus , as the events one allows within, on a time line, or horizon of sequences of self accepted stances, or values, were repeated again and again until they directed the flesh,  would one become a ‘ seed’ of information, of and as small movements compounding in one’s deeds? Would this end up causing a resonance counter to the greater whole? Would a flexibility be lost? Would the ability to process information become stagnant as that resonance consumed the life within, as the very focus of that presence within? Who could correct, or balance this out? Can another do this for one’s self? No. Would the self that was caught in the web, want forgiveness? Thus, is the only choice, that of forgiveness? As forgiveness is the movement of correction? This correction not capable of being done by anyone, but the self, and would one not want it to be any other way, as this is the way to self mastery? I mean what is one doing when one practices a musical instrument all by themselves? And would one also need to practice or interact with the whole also? Would a one sided practice cause an imbalance? 

A word is a placeholder of information, thus a word can be used to direct this, to guide this, to trigger the re-establishment of one’s focus onto the greater and the smaller, in the present, so that the self can see the resonance within and the practical without. This would lead to being equal and one to all of creation. Instead of reacting, as resisting resonances ( ghosts in the machine) one would become more self directive- AND NOT FEAR THAT RESONANT MATH!  As it is, at the moment, we are all basically, resonating values in a self centered inner-rest, absent a common sense of the present moment, which is being in the practice of the physical reality around us, recognizing what does not harm, as what accepts what is here, and working with it, or interacting with it, or communicating with it, which overall, allows one to realize one’s own resonances. In a way, there is nothing wrong with looking at the parts, bringing this forward for a moment, yet remaining grounded in the physical is also necessary. 

I admit that I am in fear of what resonates in another, because it means that I have to face the equation. I have to have the patience to slow down, listen, ‘ quantify’ , call out by name, to become in sympathy with clarity with another, with a resonance, and then relate back to the practical, or realize what would be best, and make choices, as the only choice, as what would expand and lend direction without generating more conflict, or harm as a reaction to a ‘ resonant form’.  I can so move into fear, or anger, when meeting resistance despite realizing the only solution is to go back to the drawing board and walk the clarity again, especially since a resonance can be quite sticky and bounce back. This being what causes a great forgetFULLNESS, that is the root of the problem within this not being understood.  

Because we have, in a sense, all become like the movies we watch, ‘ story boards’ that repeat and speak and direct the flesh, as a resonant sequence of events colored with value judgements, singular and limited though not necessarily ‘ bad’ , it is necessary to slow down and begin to differentiate this. It is to give space for greater and deeper recognition of one’s accepted and allowed resonant seed of information. 

I have this point where I miss some turn, some resonant movement within me. I can see, or feel the after effects, as this cycles, yet have not yet caught that tiny movement that was a choice I made, or accepted, as a value judgement. It is like not wanting to let something go, or this being so habituated, I can only practice catching this again and again, making mis-takes.

Mostly, it is in my arms, a tenseness that is intense. lol.

What helps me, at times, is to look at this as though I am reading shadows. I liken it to a ‘ life review’ where I bring every moment of my life forward, like a resonant history, and realize where I resisted, rejected, blamed, pushed away, stood as - believed, etc. And then, to sort out my resonant under-standings.  Has to be done, and why have it any other way? After all, how does one come to master something? What did we think humpty dumpty was all about?  And why were the fables, and tales, and biblical stories, and twentieth century novels like 1984, telling us? And why were they in a format that was indirect yet revealing? They in themselves are a kind of resonant form, showing a math, yet cannot be the actual practice in the self. It is just as I was when I started calling out the value system manifestation as behaviors on a face, as I stood looking at this from a different resonance as what I had acclimated myself to.  I am the subject of my own objectification! Because of a fear of calling things out by name, which is the means to self empowerment and disempowerment of the limited resonance , it appears easier to do the same without facing this directly. Yet, if this is what I am saying must be done, then somehow I am not facing this in myself, because I am unwilling to show the bare naked accepted and allowed resonance of myself. The point is that this is understood, and pointed out, though indirect, by many. 

A word for me today, is the word ‘ frame’ meaning, what am I framing within what I bring forward, as resonate within me? What and where am I losing a sense of the larger frame as the physical? What am I defining myself as, within a resonant frame, and what relationships am I making that builds this frame I stand within? What practices in the small within myself can change this frame and focus, or realize in a more fluid way, calling resistances out by name, and understanding to then relate to the whole to build a more encompassing relationship to the whole as all things, where I do not rush, or expect, or fear a loss, thereby procrastinating, seeking perfection,  idealize,  control, reject, imagine only,  give up, get lost in a comparison of self protection etc. I can, as the very capacity of and as me, learn to play/perform/interact-with-the-whole as the means is right here, in plain sight.  After all, so much of what has not been lived, is that individual practice of doing and realizing the smallest of movements, as the smallest of things, is what one must master to become a master of self, something that must be practiced, and something that no one can do for the self but the self. This AND interacting with the whole, as it cannot be ONLY one or the other. 

Only You Decide Day 708

Outside the trees continue to grow. I sometimes forget that they are outside being trees. I remove myself from the physical reality around me. I move into an emotional polarity, inside my head, in my imagination; a blueprint of my experiences, colored with value judgements. I become a train of ideas, beliefs and opinions, that are in separation from being present and focused here, considering all things. What is here is me, I am individual yet a part of everything here. I cannot live without the trees. And, why would I want to? I mean trees are an amazing technology. And I, as a human, am a technology to. I am composed of cells that change every seven years. That is being an amazing technology.  

Just like a computer, I can become slow if I am not aware of what I accept and allow within and as me. If I consider only what is on my hard drive, my memory, and believe this to be more real, or of greater value than the rest of me, then I polarize my presence and thwart my will away from all that is me. I am physical, that is my starting point, all those cells, working so diligently to maintain this form so that I may be present in the magnificence of creation. This creation is all around me. It is the physical. The game of superiority and inferiority, that more equal stance that takes a superlative and qualities it as somehow being more, is the illusion. This is the game of playing with that memory, and separating one’s self from reality. This is the game of hiding in plain sight what is real, because only what is here can be used, because here is what is real. 

If I allow that memory to be the directive of myself here, in this reality, I lose my conceptual ability.  Ever notice how as we age, we have to walk slower and slower, because we are no longer present and here.  With this magnificent machine that can replace every cell within a seven year period, how can such a separation come to pass? Ask yourself what it is that is the cause of a loss of conceptual ability development in perfecting a presence in reality, this physical world?  Should not those who have lived here in this physical reality be the models of presence in reality? Would this not look similar to someone who has mastered a musical instrument? Is there anyone who has done this? And would this not be the simplest thing really, so much simpler than all the justifications against this being possible? Would not that busy work of this not being possible be a cognitive dissonance of a memory gone astray? Can we call this ego? Is this not a false morality, where all the parts are not necessarily something to throw out, as some are in alignment with practical reality?

We have a system where we have allowed a sovereign entity to determine what we think, how we maintain our health and what we do with our time. And yet, I have had a policeman say that a sovereign movement is a cult! lol, it exists, one can see this in the immunity some higher ups have, they get away with things the chattel, as the population of personas, as people, cannot. In a way, it is a cult, a culture where a few can do what they want, and the rest foot the bill.

Also, we have allowed our labor to be monitored and directed through acceptance and allowance, feigning ignorance- when we are so capable of doing the math via the incredible conceptual  ability and sensitivity inherent in the design in and as a sentient being -  that what is for sale by the sovereign corporation we have accepted and allowed - is meant to suppress and limit, otherwise the game of control of those who have abdicated their common sense, and those who have become somewhat more responsible as the beneficiaries of this corporate trust, would not exist. This game ends up limiting both ends of this spectrum, this polarity, this system of value judgments in separation from the physical reality. It is the mirror image of what we allow within when we believe our memory is greater than reality.  We have put our trust in God and that God is money, where we allow our efforts to flow, and that flow builds a castle that at present hides within the label of capitalism, that is really what was once labeled as communism, and is really an oligarchy held in place though a collective amnesia of one’s own acceptance and allowance. 

And meanwhile, that tree is out there making oxygen to breath so that those cells can attempt to replace themselves and sustain this opportunity at life as in-formation as the physical to self realize creation as what one is, and then stand equal to and with it, to conceptually be present, here , aware.   What if there were a dissonance to life, in the form of a picture show, within, visible yet invisible, called energy, that is a polarized self warped into limited ideas as a self  in self abdication of accepting a common sense of life, physicality, who and what one really is? Do  we read enough to understand that the density of the matter in our brains tells us the degree to which we are present, having payed, or paid attention to what is here in reality or not? What if this were a form of pollution, a death cult so visible in each and every human being losing all conceptual ability to the degree that they no longer can walk with ease at the end of a life that began without religion, without nationality, without judgement about race, ethnicity, or gender, without ideas within a limited morality and without fear to stand up and respect all things? That starting point of some greater degree of clarity before the resonance of the sins of the fathers sets in, that starting point that  could see with clarity that the proverbial woman made wicked in stories told in childhood, one of many seminal moments of planting ideas leading to the dissonance blinding reality, this woman, labeled as wicked, was really cinderella in another life?  

How can one begin to remove the chaos of ideas, beliefs and opinions, composed of value judgements, a false, as limited,  positive? One must master language, the words. And then, one must read a lot. One must realize that the spoken word is no different that the written word. Ask yourself, ‘ What are you wrapping yourself around as the words you accept and allow?”  What are you creating with the things you form with your mouth and the space in your mind? What are you forming with your thoughts and your spoken word? Be careful, because what you form layers in the flesh and goes to direct who and what one is, because what we practice automates us.  Are you present and focused here? Are you able to do the math?  The means to perfection is the same means towards a disassociation to reality. Can you walk with ease anywhere? 

I would suggest to start your journey back to life. It is time to master yourself as life, the cells are there and the trees are there to help you, to sustain you, to give you the opportunity to walk through the eye of the needle and remove yourself from the cult of death known as ego.  I would suggest, to practice self forgiveness and self corrective statements to program yourself equal and one to life. I would suggest to really get to know your words and take care within what you wrap your mouth around, and your thoughts around. it will determine if you really live or die. No one can do this for you, and blame is blame. Self forgiveness and corrective application is yourself gifting yourself life.

DIP Lite is a free course to help in your journey through self forgiveness and self corrective application towards your journey back to life. And there are many free interviews on Eqafe. You decide, and only you.