Day 701 Revisiting paper work. Remembering to slow down and become practical.

I notice that I get anxious when I think of dealing with the paper work systems. I have an idea, in opposition to my reality within this. Why? Because in my reality I have done a lot of paper work, and managed to walk through it, even correcting mistakes. I have created a relationship of anxiety  in tandem with this. One movie I watched inflates this fear. It was the movie Brazil.

In the movie Brazil, much of the paper work is automated. One day a fly gets caught in the typing mechanism and a letter is changed causing a person by the new name to take a fall and lose their livelyhoods. Thus, I have a fear of systems in the paper work world.  On some level I sense the lack of responsibility within the system. In relation to this, I have never trusted administrators. And yet, administrators are people, and they can relook at things and instead of resisting ways through paper work,  can change things and find solutions that allow no harm and sustain structures that benefit everyone. It is not a one-size-fits-all scenario. 

Movies that  go to the extreme of gloom and doom, as our media has become a control mechanism, use emotions to polarize perception into ‘ what if’  scenarios that lack all respect for practical steps in consideration of solving problems in such a way that a person functions in society.  Even as I write these words, being structurally clear within my words is difficult. I notice I have to use a lot of words to say something that is really very simple.

My experience with systemic paperwork is different from my imagination. My relationship to paper work is that it requires me to fill in the slots with information. I have done this many times, it usually takes much less time that my idea about doing it. I allow a polarized and inflated idea slow me down, creating an emotional lag that takes me away from the practical application.

Paper work is information communication, that is all. Because of this, it means to slow down and look at the information and order it in a way that causes no harm. It is to ground the information into being practical, balancing out the ledgers, so that things are clear.  I also realize that If I organize the information, I am then ready to do the paper work that is a record of my actions. 

Also, in the process of grounding myself more within structuring paper work, I have realized that realizing what I do can be known. In this moment, it begs the question a to why children are not taught about recoding money transactions, as this is a math, and within a family, not too hard to organize. The only reason not to do this, is that one does not really want to look at what one does.

Thus, by degree, the lack of being responsible, only mirrors the emotional values used to direct instead of the practical on this physical practical world. 

Personally, this would mean that when something is not working, I am essentially not focused here, and instead I am in some meta-physical construction of value judgement within myself. And why? Because the physical world is right in front of me, it is right here, and my relationship to it, is either in consideration of it, as the means of life, or myself in separation from it acting in self interest as ideas, beliefs and opinions, based on class, race, nationality, or, borders of self interested and drawn values accumulated from a past of ritual defining my values, that I have allowed to become greater than the real world around me.  My morality in self interest, defined in every word I speak and every move I make as the information that I have allowed to program the physical that is the means of my existence here on earth, when not focused here, in the practice of living, will not fit into life. This will cause consequences that harm through a lack of consideration. I am running in time and not equal to life, to what is outside of time, as what withstands time, as what is eternal. This would mean, as has been said many times, that time is an illusion.

I realize in the years I played violin that what I practiced, how I did it, with every move, would inform my actions. And that if I did not check the structures I had built that would become well known, they would begin to run in an automated way. I had to not only know the structure and move with it with ease, I also had to use the structure, or cross reference the structure, which could be done in an instant. There were times when I missed something and I had to go back and check everything carefully. I had to find the glitch.  When things were clear, I could move with ease. When I was within this state, then when encountering new things, I could change with them, or note what I missed and correct it. Also, within this, find my place within a moment of not understanding, quickly. This is how important structure is, a clear and sound structure. This is the accumulation of  a perfect practice, with presence and awareness of what one is doing.

How we are, within our world is the same. How things work and our relationships to things, can be clear. If we take the time to understand this, we can work with things in such a way that we realize mistakes, or a need to slow down and realize new things that we had not encountered before, living in such a way that such moments only enhance our awareness of the values in this physical world that are creation.  We can become equal and one in standing as life, as the value being life. It really is not so far away from us, because it is right here, in plain sight.

The illusion is but a wisp of separation as what is constant is the substance of life in everything that is here. 

When it comes to paper work. I can organize and record my actions. Any fears about this, are ideas, beliefs and opinions. The way out of this is to slow down and walk what I have practiced and align it to reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not immediately slow down and breath when and as I find myself facing paper work.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not say to myself that I can become slower, as in taking the time to be within care of the small within and as doing paper work.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that paper work is a simple math in many ways and thus, I can as with all things, slow down and realize the measure, and form a clear awareness of what I am doing to make sure things are clear though checking the parts that make the whole.

When and as I find myself  moving into anxiousness about paper work I stop and I breath, and I walk the ordered steps to cross reference and check what I am doing until I feel that what I am doing is clear, and to realize that should I make a mistake there is only moving into correction, and more often as I have experienced in life, the same mistake more than likely would not be made again as this is how we learn, thus a mistake need not define who and what I am.

When and as I find myself reacting with an emotional value about doing paper work, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that this is an emotional lag from my own past acceptances and allowances of ideas that ore of fear about possible ' what if' scenarios and instead to realize I am here.

When and as I find myself fearing the system, I stop and I breathe, and I see, realize and understand that the systems are composed of people, and that more than likely, people would rather find solutions and minimize problems,  as this is the real nature of life.

Day 673 What am I doing here, as in how am I moving here, within myself.

One of the many reasons I walk the Desteni I Process is because I noticed some things as I matured in life.

There are two things that stand out.

One was within practicing the violin.  And I remember a teacher telling me that how I practiced was very important, so this is understood by others who have done the same.  I noticed that if I practiced with something on my mind, the next day that would come up. Within myself I realized that I had to focus on what I was doing without the presence of some other thing going on in my life at the moment, or, another way to say this, is that I could not practice with worry about something in the background going on, as thoughts in my head. I could not actually think about something else, like trying to get two things done at once, one of them being, in this case, practicing and trying to sort out something else in my life. This simply means that when I practiced, I had to focus on that and only that.

When I got older, I started to realize that when I practiced this way, only focusing on the practice I was doing, I learned the piece much faster, and I could even be aware of how long it would take to learn a piece, and depend on that. Thus, when I practiced and really focused on what I was doing,, I could depend on how well I would know the piece, and count on that for a performance. I even started to take risks within performing, because I could understand that I knew the piece well enough that no matter what happened - as with other things that can happen when one performs- I could deal with it because I knew the piece well enough within myself.

The second thing that happened, that when I found destini I process I understood, was the aftermath of the death of my husband. For a long time after he died, I would think about him, often wishing he were still around because I had become comfortable with his presence. One day I realized that I had to stop thinking about him, because he was no longer here, and that was that! I found it very difficult to stop thinking about him. I had to really bring up my will and stop each time I started to think about him. I even eventually transferred thinking about him onto another person I had liked earlier in my life. At the time, I did not realize it immediately, within transferring my thinking about my husband onto another, I then found myself thinking about that other person. One day, I realized this and then had to stop that thinking.  I remember it feeling like I had to really ‘ fight’ with the thinking. By this I mean, use every bit of myself to stop that way of being within myself. Then I started to realize how much I could spin around in something, and that it often did not resolve. What I remember, is that it was like pulling in sides and finding what remained stable. Little did I realize that this is, overall, myself getting tired of the spin of the mind, and also, the realization that I can create these huge storms within myself and become so occupied with them, that I spend a lot of time within them. And, that such things need not determine who and what I am. Also, that I actually create who and what I am within myself1 What I think about, remains with me, from one moment to the next, and it can become this entity within that hangs around, something that I must use my will to correct and something that will run seemingly on its own, unless I change it. And, that it really is a separation from being present and here.

Thus, I create the chaos that is me, I create the information that is me. I am the source of what it is that I am. I am the source of what my capacity to focus and be present here, is.  I have the capacity to focus here, in every moment. Who and what I am is determined by me. The destini I process has helped me to realize this, it has helped me to realize what I am as the thoughts that I have, it has helped me to realize why I have the thoughts that I have and where these thoughts/measures/data come from, meaning how I formed them. The destini I process has helped me to realize what I am doing within myself, just as I had began to understand within practicing musical pieces to perform. The destini I process has helped me to realize that I can focus here, and sort out all the back chat from having focused on measures about this world that I carried, and carry around with me, and that occupy my focus in within what I am doing in every moment. The destini I process has shown me how I work within, and in doing so has helped me to realize who and what I am to a greater degree than I thought possible. The destini I process has helped me to focus myself here, and within this, to begin to trust myself more, just as I had begun to learn and understand with years of practicing the violin. 

Our minds, which we could call our memories, take in pictures about reality. If we believe that picture to more real than what is here, as like that violin and that piece of music, then we ‘ taint’  what we are doing with that memory/thought/data/measure and that then slows down the ability to process here and retain what is a clear measure within what we are doing here which then leads to uncertainty and more consequences of beliefs and ideas and opinions about ourselves that are not the solution into learning to focus here, in what one is doing, enough that the product of the focus is clear enough, because it is not tainted with other thinking, that when one moves to do something, there is more trust and more steady capacity.

Also this is to realize that everything we think, if it is not focused on the practice of being present within what one is doing in physical practical terms, then one is not focused here. This means that when moving to do something, the only choice is to investigate until there are no fuzzy areas of understanding. This means that when moving to do something, the moment there is a fuzzy area, where one does not really know, it means to stop and to investigate until one has a certain and clear understanding of something, and that understanding must be in awareness of the physical world. Otherwise what happens are consequences to the living things around us, as all of us, as everything that is physical because if we are not focused here, on the physical and take actions that are not considerate of all things, we cause harm. It is really a crime to not consider all things, to not take the time to consider what it means to be physical on a physical planet. And, that when we are present, and we investigate and form ‘ proper’ understandings of what we are doing, we become more self trustworthy, and the consequence is more self certainty. This is so much more than being lost in a mind consciousness that is a measure of uncertainty as polarized values of right and wrong, fear of loss and a desire for gain that motivates in a limited bubble of belief meeting obstacles because one is not present and considering all things.  It is so much more than the self interest that is the composition of entities of thought that have no focus on what it is that one truly is, and what one truly is capable of.  We can only know ourselves here, being present here, in this reality. We can only begin to understand what we are if we realize how a mind consciousness that is composed of limited values, that can then direct one in separation from being present is, and how it is formed and how it works. 

We can begin to understand how absorbent we are as we stop and take a look at our present media and all the information that is constantly streamed around us. It is so lit up with music and colored lights and limited stories that we become that information, so great is our capacity to take in information and so dependent we are, or have allowed, a mind consciousness reflecting this information to be believed to be all that we are.  Yet we have allowed this in-doctoring, each of us. And, it is only each of us that can change this. We become what we accept and allow.  We, each one, is responsible for what is the composition of what one is within. No other one can control what one is within one’s self. And yet, what one desires is to be self responsible in ways that allow self to interact and play directly in clear and secure ways, with the reality as the physical world that is around us. This is what we truly desire to be. This is being equal and one with life. I would suggest to begin to sort out what is up there in this self accepted and allowed mind consciousness, and begin the process of grounding yourself back into the physical world. This is where, being equal and one to the physical, that  one can live within the potential that is right there as who and what each one is.

Gift yourself the greatest gift, the gift of being grounded, self responsible, certain, present , aware -within and without- as this is what is real living. The destini I process lite is free. Come down out of the spin of a mind consciousness and gift yourself the presence of yourself as life.

Day 311 Disgust Character Self Commitment Statements

I commit myself to realizing when and as i become an emotion of disgust I have already accepted myself to have failed within and as a belief, and within this, to no longer allow this and to stop and to breath, and to see, realize and understand that I can become equal and one within walking in the shoes of the other and realize accepted limitations and clear up these limitations within making clear what exists within and as common sense of how this present system functions in and as inequality that does not serve the interest of what is the real value, here, which is life where the allowance of life is being the principle of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for self.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that , within slowing myself down and breathing, I am able to walk in common sense of what is here.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing that failure is a belief in limitation in separation from being one and equal to and as life, here, which is to walk what is best for all, leading to prevention of the existence of stagnant beliefs that are limitations as existing within consciousness, within parts only, thereby creating relative values and this comparison and competition, in separation from being here, as I allow myself to become a movement of bullying one value are more than another, and thus destabilize myself from myself as the presence of life, here.
I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that my sense of disgust is self disgust as I am not allowing myself to exist within common sense of the whole, where the pieces can be brought back to an understanding of how what is here as this system of inequality can be directed within what is best for all as being supporting all life.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that walking this process takes consistent effort and patience as a reaction of disgust within and as me, has become a habit which will take practice within realigning to walking through accepted and allowed thoughts, words and deeds that seek to blame and spite in protection and defense instead of direct within what is best for all, where i have made beliefs, opinions, and ideas more than a principle of what prevents, as what is best for all, and within this allow the taking of things personally to dominate my behavior and internal conversations, and within this become a battle of personifications, in and as energy, in separation from equality as asound sense of being present here, within and as what is best for all, as this is the only choice that moves and directs within and as being life , here.
I commit myself to breathing, to bringing myself here , in common sense that there is nothing to lose, that failure exists in the mind as consciousness only, as this is myself in separation from becoming equal and one within common sense of what is practical in support of all life here, as it is from this point that direction as life is able to be realized and thus practiced within directing myself here.
I commit myself to realizing within and as every breath that the probem is separation into limited value belief only.
I commit myself to realizing that the solution is to bring myself back to what is real, as this actual physical ground as earth, and to in practical common sense become one and equal to what is here, be it the soil or another person, and/or the present system, to see, realize and understand how what is here exists as how it is moved by the conditions created within a system of inequality, and to investigate this and take what is good and and realize through thought word and deed what is supportive of all life, as what is best for self is best for all.
I commit myself to realizing that the reward is the removal of war, of conflict , of inequality, of negligence accepted and allowed through limited consideration of this earth, this which supports all life.

DIP Lite
Your daily practice of clearing the mind of separation from LIFE.