Usually, in the morning I wake up and something comes forward within me. This morning, subsequent to talking to someone the day before about learning, what came up is how what we inform ourselves, as what we allow to be placed within ourselves and comes to automate the body. Much like a vaccine is supposed to automatically protect us from a potential pathogen.
We supposed a future event, and we supposed how something works, and we rush to prevent that event, or look for another way to inform us. Schools as they are now formed, are meant to prepare us for the ‘ real’ world ( of adults). We go to memorize a form, as a scaffold, of information to ‘ ready’ us for the ‘ real world.’ How can integrating a set body of information, without real experience, lend real knowing?
Juxtapose this to ‘ forms’ that have come to me in conversations as “ I can’t meditate,” or “ I tried to learn a musical instrument, but I just could not get it.” Both of these responses show a lack of real self discipline, or, a loss of an ability to FOCUS. How is what is natural come to be believed as something impossible?
What is it that distracts one from focusing? What is it that distracts one from what we do every day, as focus on something? Why is it that we cannot focus on something that is right here, right in front of us? Could it have to do with forcing something into us, as information without real living practical application?
We understand that when we practice something, it begins to move with more ease, as automate, meaning, we do not have to “think” about it as much, meaning we do not have to focus on the movement as much because our ability in focusing on it, allows it to be so well known that we can move through it much faster. Our ability to process the form increases in tandem with our ability to place our presence within something. This would mean that we direct what we focus on, and that what we focus on integrates and expedites with recognition within and as our ability to move through it.
This begs the question as to what we are informing our children as, as memorizing information in a box, in a school? Considering the compounding out of synch behaviors in so many children, can we not realize that a lack of real focus ability is and can only be a consequence of misinforming ourselves? Have you ever really slowed down to LOOK at an autistic child.
Would someone who was mis-informed, become increasingly frustrated to the degree that their lack of effective in - formation causes a reaction of violence/ resistance/ lack of ease, as what frustration is, because what has become to be automated does not allow real self direction in reality? And would a child by the time they are in their late twenties realize that a quarter of their life has passed - because they do have awareness - and that they have no real self control because the information they absorbed is not effective in tandem with their physical dysfunction that in itself is a mis-use of self as life as a starting point absorbed by body in reflecting this same state from one’s environment, that they become so angry, so frustrated there is nothing else but to express complete and udder con- fusion of their lack, because they are a CON- fusion of information that is not lending effective focus and self directive capacity leading to a real effective self creation? If one really LOOKS is this not what one would see, or realize on some level? We are the most effective machines that can sense this, which reveals great capacity. By and as our real natures, we do want to sort this out, just as, as children, we move to sort, to understand, to absorb and frame, to desire to participate. These drives are natural. We know them. We can forgive what hinders this real nature.
As well, why are we not using the function of the physical body, as that very thing informed, the way the body was meant to be, as processing viruses and bacteria through the lens of itself, as the layers of the body that “ read” and process what is physically here? Why are we forcing such, directly into the body, like a short cut, without realizing and respecting the functioning of the “ real world” as the physical world that we are supposedly “ preparing” out bodies for?
Supposedly, the system makes of each a commodity, based on potential growth and “ creation” as a being on earth, via trading one’s projected potential and worth as a sum of money, as being one’s “ account” from which one borrows. Overall, this means that a financial system does the same, a future projection, as an entity, as a structure, assuming the life of one, for gain, of which one has no control, as one borrows on potential and pays back more than what one borrowed, causing a game of musical chairs where inevitably one does not find a seat as one has no control over one’s potential having abdicated it to some authority as a belief that one is not enough, yet that ‘ not enough’ is the false morality accepted and allowed, only seen through a rejection of reality, as the physical and real landscape called life in what it must be, which is creation, as what the physical world is.
All of the above are scaffolds as forms, working to suppress and control each and every one. This can only have the authority we give it. If comes back to each not realizing effective use of what self as within and as how the physical world works and is the means to learn to express the life that is one. If one cannot master one’s focus, and one’s body is trying to move backwards in a way, against it own natural ability to process, and one is in a construct where the monetary digits of one’s “ creative worth’ are all forms of con-fusing who and what one is, and one does not realize this, as one is so distracted from a lack of real and equal structural awareness to the physical as mis-informed theory ONLY without practical application, where is the beingness of ourselves going to end up? What is cognitive dissonance?
Human beings are happy when they really know something. There is a calm sense of expression, and within that, a more clear way forward to the next step. When we really know something, we are no longer thinking, as nothing was ever done through thinking about it, it is, when effective, done with really KNOWING something, that ability to be the master of one’s self, and place one’s presence in something within an effective self direction of one’s presence into the real and living thing as the physical form.
Thus, when we tell ourselves that “ we cannot do something,” as understand and KNOW something, within effective self direction, we are revealing ourselves to ourselves, as having lost an ability to focus effectively. And, since we inform as automate what we practice, the lack of focus would mean that there are resonant forms within us, we follow, that are distracting us from real and effective and natural focus on reality.
Within all of this, what would the proverbial “ eye of the needle’ really mean? What would it mean when someone says “ we should be able to hear the grass grow” ? It would mean that who and what we really are, is the capacity to KNOW, to really sense, to really see what is that “ reality’ we are supposedly prepared for as adults!
Therefor, hope without action is meaningless, faith without command is pointless, and knowledge and information without the experience of practical application is useless. Each without living awareness in practical application, is the outcome of a mis-informed set body of information, and a informed inner resonant scaffold that is mis-using the presence that is the means of focusing on the small, the large, and the relationships between physical things as expressions as life that are who and what we are, that are all of the same substance, that are all here in plain sight.
The way to real happiness, is to focus on the physical, to the degree that one would understand that one could with steady and consistent practice, build a stable ability to place one’s presence into the form and function of that instrument, to effectively build the ability to be in union with that instrument, just as one did with one’s body before all the information of and as the dogma of religion and politics were absorbed as the limited forms of belief, from an environment where the human beings were already a construct of mis-information! ( which reveals to us the great sensibility that is inherent our capacity! )
We have to ask ourselves what we see when we have someone standing in front of us that we realize has a huge emotional firewall around them. We have to ask ourselves why there exists any form of conflict within all of this? As the resistance to becoming one with an instrument is a reflection of one’s natural ability not being in effective movement and focus. And, this means that one has lost control of one’s natural ability to be and do so. It means that one is not focused HERE. It means that what one ‘ thinks’ one knows, is distracting one from real presence in reality. One’s within, is not equal to the without. One’s resonant information, is followed ABOVE what is real, as that instrument, as the grass growing. When one finds one’s self shaking, as a reaction to something - perhaps another form of resonant information- it means that one is reacting in the same expression as flight and fight mode within not realizing that one’s resonant information is being questioned or believed to be in threat where one is stuck in one’s resonant idol of information. That reaction, as resistance, is but a smaller form of that autistic child who has by the time they are in their late twenties, the same form of violence as frustration in not being able to move effectively in this “ reality” that we are supposed to be “ prepared for” within our present educational system.
It is a math of inequality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate my own and natural self responsibility as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand this life, this reality, this physical expression of life, here, in plain sight.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to do the real math of and as the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I react, as shake within and as my body, I am revealing myself to myself, within and as not being in synch with who and what I am as a physical being, as realizing all things in expression are relationships of and as values, composing life, as all that is, that is here, and would by design be physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand within and as me, as resistance to here, being a separation of and as limited values, as a picture, as sound components as words, allowed and accepted by me,in myself not realizing that all is me, here, of and as the same substance of and as what becomes expression in formation, here, as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and stand equal and one to and with what is here all around me, as a living relationship in and of and as expressing life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and stand with to correct what friction and conflict I allow within me, that has a nature of a subtle to greater movement of shaking, as behaviors of wanting to run away, or wanting to push against, or wanting to deny, or wanting to gain something, based on my own inner ideological idol of information , resonant and separate, moving more slowly, though appearing to move fast, as the story of information I accepted in separation from being in practical application with what is real and what is all around me, is a limited story line that I can move through as a construct with seeming speed, just as I am able once I really know an instrument, for example, as I gain mastery I can move with more ease within that form, so does my imagination of limited information as a construct of values of and as limited relationships charged with values and of and as a state of not really knowing something, and thus causing and living a dis-ease manifest in the very movements of and as my body, of which is now in extreme behaviors of separation existent in increasing degrees as the children with autism, that reflect lesser extremes of the same behaviors, in the world around me, and thus I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand my own separation from being present and equal to here, that which I am able to be, as the capacity towards separation can also be the capacity towards equality and oneness with what is real, as the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when and as I find myself complaining, I am not being present and in relation to what is real as the physical world here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that movements within and as me as muscle tensions are myself living the information I accepted and allowed to define me, that does not automate my presence, into being at ease and in communication with and as what is here, that is the same as me, as the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and stand with, inequality and oneness, what is here, and resisting this within and as ignoring what is right in front of me, here, as the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within and as my separation I am quite literally watching a shadow world in and as my mind, where the knowledge and information I accepted and allowed is within my physical body, in the very muscles as these muscles are what tense up, as restrict as the information I accepted and allowed as me, does not fit, is not equal to, what is real, as the physical, and when and as I focus on this limited resonant construct I lose all real focus on this reality, and move to force my resonant belief system onto this reality, to survive, in self interest, and in some place within myself, I realize what it is that I am doing, and the real shame within and as me, is this realization that I see, realize and understand what it is that I am allowing, and for this I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all my resistance in and as my behaviors of in effect self hate, as they are myself in resistance to life as the physical as the practical here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that, for example, when I do not recognize a person I have known more from a distance, and upon meeting them up close without recognition, I am revealing myself to myself as living within set planes of time, as value judgements indicating a separation from being in awareness as being present, in this physical and practical reality here, as this is life, as this is creation here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to trust myself, within and as realizing to some extent what I was seeing within my autistic nephew, before Desteni, where I asked the question through describing what I was seeing within him, that he looked like he was completely out of synch in some way, like a mix up of all the anxieties within my family, thus, I can see, realize and understand what is here as the separation from who and what we really are as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I resist something, within and as seeing here, sensing something is out of tune, to stop and NOT ONLY define, and realize separation within and as my secret self, but to bring this forward and speak up, to speak out, beyond reactions as all reactions are the process of sorting things out, and are but a slow processing as a dimension of a sequence of belief, as a timed event, in a world of and as no time, as the physical as being present, and to see realize and understand by degree as the small ignored as the practical, to bring things back down into focus here, to rebuild presence in equality and oneness with and as what is real here, as the physical.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my nephew, in his teens when visiting walks around in his own world, having conversations with himself, as so many of us do, within and as not being present here, within and as not realizing that nothing was ever solved within thinking, but in practical application here, in respect of what is real as this ‘ reality’ we are ostensibly taught to function within and as as the ‘ good’ promoted by the present school design, which is a format that though touting a good, is acting in building a separation from this reality, and the means to cause separation as manipulation of information which if accepted is the responsibility of and as being in self abdication of and as self as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate myself as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to investigate all forms as all actions from an authority as a system of men, that is a consequence of myself not being in self responsibility of and as who and what I am as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that consequence of my own lack of real presence in this reality, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be present here, in this reality.
When and as I find myself resisting, within and as being tense, as opposed to being in focus, where I know and feel more stable, as a state we all know, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down and I realize a living relationship as who and what I am to this reality here, as the physical.
When and as I find myself believing that being here means a loss of something, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, equal and one to who and what I am, as a living relationship, as relating to what is here, in practical applicative terms to practice rebuilding the substance in and as who and what I am as life, to see directly here, to create equality and oneness in presence of this reality here.
When and as I find myself moving into anxiety, I stop and I breath and I assess and investigate the emotional pulls as the polarities within and as me as beliefs, opinions and ideas, and I forgive what is a hyper inflated value judgement to ground myself here, equal and one within and as breath, to here, to creation that is life in formation.
When and as I find myself acting in self interest, as not considering all things I stop and I breath and I ground myself here, in the physical to respect life.
When and as I find myself moving into self pity, I slow down, I stop and I breath, and I assess myself as the focus of what I am allowing within and as projections, resistances and self imaginations to realize consequential protections and defenses as reactions of and as fear, moving into judgement, as disempowerment, as hate, a actions of blame and spite towards others and against self, into my own constructed sense of and as feeling overwhelmed and a belief in the impossible when I am possible as the ability to transform and change in a moment to not act in self interest, as an act of separation from this living reality that is physical, to instead realize practical applications in thought word and deed in accord with this reality as creation as the physical here.
When and as I find myself reacting within and as believing something to be impossible, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand how my own separations are a busyness in a narrow value judgement, as words moving nowhere, to see, realize and understand that patterns of value judgements of and as protection and defense, as a shadow world of a personification of limited values, here, I stop and I breath, and I realize the pulling of the strings of value judgements as a means of manipulation with few words, probably at a sixth grade level - so to speak- as separation is composed of limitation, thus to speak to the limited construct and lend real structure to and towards bringing hyperinflation as ideas, beliefs and opinions, back down to earth, as this is the ‘ zone of proximal development “ of and as separation from self as life, here, thus to speak to that, which means to manipulate, and yet in the order of what is best for all, here, to begin to journey to reverse life, into equality and oneness here.
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