The distraction of the #obstructionist Day 779

Usually, in the morning I wake up and something comes forward within me. This morning, subsequent to talking to someone the day before about learning, what came up is how what we inform ourselves, as what we allow to be placed within ourselves and comes to automate the body. Much like a vaccine is supposed to automatically protect us from a potential pathogen. 

We supposed a future event, and we supposed how something works, and we rush to prevent that event, or look for another way to inform us. Schools as they are now formed, are meant to prepare us for the ‘ real’ world ( of adults).  We go to memorize a form, as a scaffold, of information to ‘ ready’ us for the ‘ real world.’ How can integrating a set body of information, without real experience, lend real knowing? 

Juxtapose this to ‘ forms’ that have come to me in conversations as “ I can’t meditate,” or “ I tried to learn a musical instrument, but I just could not get it.”  Both of these responses show a lack of real self discipline, or, a loss of an ability to FOCUS. How is what is natural come to be believed as something impossible? 

What is it that distracts one from focusing? What is it that distracts one from what we do every day, as focus on something? Why is it that we cannot focus on something that is right here, right in front of us? Could it have to do with forcing something into us, as information without real living practical application? 

We understand that when we practice something, it begins to move with more ease, as automate, meaning, we do not have to “think” about it as much, meaning we do not have to focus on the movement as much because our ability in focusing on it, allows it to be so well known that we can move through it much faster. Our ability to process the form increases in tandem with our ability to place our presence within something. This would mean that we direct what we focus on, and that what we focus on integrates and expedites with recognition within and as our ability to move through it. 

This begs the question as to what we are informing our children as, as memorizing information in a box, in a school? Considering the compounding out of synch behaviors in so many children, can we not realize that a lack of real focus ability is and can only be a consequence of misinforming ourselves? Have you ever really slowed down to LOOK at an autistic child.

Would someone who was mis-informed, become increasingly frustrated to the degree that their lack of effective in - formation causes a reaction of violence/ resistance/ lack of ease, as what frustration is, because what has become to be automated does not allow real self direction in reality? And would a child by the time they are in their late twenties realize that a quarter of their life has passed - because they do have awareness - and that they have no real self control because the information they absorbed is not effective in tandem with their physical dysfunction that in itself is a mis-use of self as life as a starting point absorbed by body in reflecting this same state from one’s environment, that they become so angry, so frustrated there is nothing else but to express complete and udder con- fusion of their lack, because they are a CON- fusion of information that is not lending effective focus and self directive capacity leading to a real effective self creation?  If one really LOOKS is this not what one would see, or realize on some level? We are the most effective machines that can sense this, which reveals great capacity. By and as our real natures, we do want to sort this out, just as, as children, we move to sort, to understand, to absorb and frame, to desire to participate. These drives are natural. We know them. We can forgive what hinders this real nature. 

As well, why are we not using the function of the physical body, as that very thing informed, the way the body was meant to be, as processing viruses and bacteria through the lens of itself, as the layers of the body that “ read” and process what is physically here? Why are we forcing such, directly into the body, like a short cut, without realizing and respecting the functioning of the “ real world” as the physical world that we are supposedly “ preparing” out bodies for? 

Supposedly, the system makes of each a commodity, based on potential growth and “ creation” as a being on earth, via trading one’s projected potential and worth as a sum of money, as being one’s “ account” from which one borrows. Overall, this means that a financial system does the same, a future projection, as an entity, as a structure, assuming the life of one, for gain, of which one has no control, as one borrows on potential and pays back more than what one borrowed, causing a game of musical chairs where inevitably one does not find a seat as one has no control over one’s potential having abdicated it to some authority as a belief that one is not enough, yet that ‘ not enough’ is the false morality accepted and allowed, only seen through a rejection of reality, as the physical and real landscape called life in what it must be, which is creation, as what the physical world is. 

All of the above are scaffolds as forms, working to suppress and control each and every one. This can only have the authority we give it. If comes back to each not realizing effective use of what self as within and as how the physical world works and is the means to learn to express the life that is one. If one cannot master one’s focus, and one’s body is trying to move backwards in a way, against it own natural ability to process, and one is in a construct where the monetary digits of one’s “ creative worth’ are all forms of con-fusing who and what one is, and one does not realize this, as one is so distracted from a lack of real and equal structural awareness to the physical as mis-informed theory ONLY without practical application, where is the beingness of ourselves going to end up?  What is cognitive dissonance? 

Human beings are happy when they really know something. There is a calm sense of expression, and within that, a more clear way forward to the next step. When we really know something, we are no longer thinking, as nothing was ever done through thinking about it, it is, when effective, done with really KNOWING something, that ability to be the master of one’s self, and place one’s presence in something within an effective self direction of one’s presence into the real and living thing as the physical form. 

Thus, when we tell ourselves that “ we cannot do something,” as understand and KNOW something, within effective self direction, we are revealing ourselves to ourselves, as having lost an ability to focus effectively.  And, since we inform as automate what we practice, the lack of focus would mean that there are resonant forms within us, we follow, that are distracting us from real and effective and natural focus on reality. 

Within all of this, what would the proverbial “ eye of the needle’ really mean?  What would it mean when someone says “ we should be able to hear the grass grow” ? It would mean that who and what we really are, is the capacity to KNOW, to really sense, to really see what is that “ reality’ we are supposedly prepared for as adults! 

Therefor, hope without action is meaningless, faith without command is pointless, and knowledge and information without the experience of practical application is useless. Each without living awareness in practical application, is the outcome of a mis-informed set body of information, and a informed inner resonant scaffold that is mis-using the presence that is the means of focusing on the small, the large, and the relationships between physical things as expressions as life that are who and what we are, that are all of the same substance, that are all here in plain sight. 

The way to real happiness, is to focus on the physical, to the degree that one would understand that one could with steady and consistent practice, build a stable ability to place one’s presence into the form and function of that instrument, to effectively build the ability to be in union with that instrument, just as one did with one’s body before all the information of and as the dogma of religion and politics were absorbed as the limited forms of belief, from an environment where the human beings were already a construct of mis-information! ( which reveals to us the great sensibility that is inherent our capacity! ) 

We have to ask ourselves what we see when we have someone standing in front of us that we realize has a huge emotional firewall around them. We have to ask ourselves why there exists any form of conflict within all of this? As the resistance to becoming one with an instrument is a reflection of one’s natural ability not being in effective movement and focus. And, this means that one has lost control of one’s natural ability to be and do so. It means that one is not focused HERE. It means that what one ‘ thinks’ one knows, is distracting one from real presence in reality.  One’s within, is not equal to the without. One’s resonant information, is followed ABOVE what is real, as that instrument, as the grass growing. When one finds one’s self shaking, as a reaction to something - perhaps another form of resonant information- it means that one is reacting in the same expression as flight and fight mode within not realizing that one’s resonant information is being questioned or believed to be in threat where one is stuck in one’s resonant idol of information. That reaction, as resistance, is but a smaller form of that autistic child who has by the time they are in their late twenties, the same form of violence as frustration in not being able to move effectively in this “ reality” that we are supposed to be “ prepared for” within our present educational system. 

It is a math of inequality. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself  to abdicate my own and natural self responsibility as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand this life, this reality, this physical expression of life, here, in plain sight.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to do the real math of and as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I react, as shake within and as my body, I am revealing myself to myself, within and as not being in synch with who and what  I am as a physical being, as realizing all things in expression are relationships of and as values, composing life, as all that is, that is here, and would by design be physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand within and as me, as resistance to here, being a separation of and as limited values, as a picture, as sound components as words, allowed and accepted by me,in myself not realizing that all is me, here, of and as the same substance of and as what becomes expression in formation, here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and stand equal and one to and with what is here all around me, as a living relationship in and of and as expressing life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and stand with to correct what friction and conflict I allow within me, that has a nature of a subtle to greater movement of shaking, as behaviors of wanting to run away, or wanting to push against, or wanting to deny, or wanting to gain something, based on my own inner ideological idol of information , resonant and separate, moving more slowly, though appearing to move fast, as the story of information I accepted in separation from being in practical application with what is real and what is all around me, is a limited story line that I can move through as a construct with seeming speed, just as I am able once I really know an instrument, for example, as I gain mastery I can move with more ease within that form, so does my imagination of limited information as a construct of values of and as limited relationships charged with values and of and as a state of not really knowing something, and thus causing and living a dis-ease manifest in the very movements of and as my body, of which is now in extreme behaviors of separation existent in increasing degrees as the children with autism, that reflect lesser extremes of the same behaviors, in the world around me, and thus I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand my own separation from being present and equal to here, that which I am able to be, as the capacity towards separation can also be the capacity towards equality and oneness with what is real, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when and as I find myself complaining, I am not being present and in relation to what is real as the physical world here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that movements within and as me as muscle tensions are myself living the information I accepted and allowed to define me, that does not automate my presence, into being at ease and in communication with and as what is here, that is the same as me, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and stand with, inequality and oneness, what is here, and resisting this within and as ignoring what is right in front of me, here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that  within and as my separation I am quite literally watching a shadow world in and as my mind, where the knowledge and information I accepted and allowed is within my physical body, in the very muscles as these muscles are what tense up, as restrict as the information I accepted and allowed as me, does not fit, is not equal to, what is real, as the physical, and when and as I focus on this limited resonant construct I lose all real focus on this reality, and move to force my resonant belief system onto this reality, to survive, in self interest, and in some place within myself, I realize what it is that I am doing, and the real shame within and as me, is this realization that I see, realize and understand what it is that I am allowing, and for this I forgive myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all my resistance in and as my behaviors of in effect self hate, as they are myself in resistance to life as the physical as the practical here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that, for example, when I do not recognize a person I have known more from a distance, and upon meeting them up close without recognition, I am revealing myself to myself as living within set planes of time, as value judgements indicating a separation from being in awareness as being present, in this physical and practical reality here, as this is life, as this is creation here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to trust myself, within and as realizing to some extent what I was seeing within my autistic nephew, before Desteni, where I asked the question through describing what I was seeing within him, that he looked like he was completely out of synch in some way, like a mix up of all the anxieties within my family, thus, I can see, realize and understand what is here as the separation from who and what we really are as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I resist something, within and as seeing here, sensing something is out of tune, to stop and NOT ONLY define, and realize separation within and as my secret self, but to bring this forward and speak up, to speak out, beyond reactions as all reactions are the process of sorting things out, and are but a slow processing as a dimension of a sequence of belief, as a timed event, in a world of and as no time, as the physical as being present, and to see realize and understand by degree as the small ignored as the practical, to bring things back down into focus here, to rebuild presence in equality and oneness with and as what is real here, as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my nephew, in his teens when visiting walks around in his own world, having conversations with himself, as so many of us do, within and as not being present here, within and as not realizing that nothing was ever solved within thinking, but in practical application here, in respect of what is real as this ‘ reality’ we are ostensibly taught to function within and as as the ‘ good’ promoted by the present school design, which is a format that though touting a good, is acting in building a separation from this reality, and the means to cause separation as manipulation of information which if accepted is the responsibility of and as being in self abdication of and as self as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to abdicate myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to investigate all forms as all actions from an authority as a system of men, that is a consequence of myself not being in self responsibility of and as who and what I am as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that consequence of my own lack of real presence in this reality, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be present here, in this reality.

When and as I find myself resisting, within and as being tense, as opposed to being in focus, where I know and feel more stable, as a state we all know, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down and I realize a living relationship as who and what I am to this reality here, as the physical.

When and as I find myself believing that being here means a loss of something, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, equal and one to who and what I am, as a living relationship, as relating to what is here, in practical applicative terms to practice rebuilding the substance in and as who and what I am as life, to see directly here, to create equality and oneness in presence of this reality here.

When and as I find myself moving into anxiety, I stop and I breath and I assess and investigate the emotional pulls as the polarities within and as me as beliefs, opinions and ideas, and I forgive what is a hyper inflated value judgement to ground myself here, equal and one within and as breath, to here, to creation that is life in formation.

When and as I find myself acting in self interest, as not considering all things I stop and I breath and I ground myself here, in the physical to respect life.

When and as I find myself moving into self pity, I slow down, I stop and I breath, and I assess myself as the focus of what I am allowing within and as projections, resistances and self imaginations to realize consequential protections and defenses as reactions of and as fear, moving into judgement, as disempowerment, as hate, a actions of blame and spite towards others and against self, into my own constructed sense of and as feeling overwhelmed and a belief in the impossible when I am possible as the ability to transform and change in a moment to not act  in self interest, as an act of separation from this living reality that is physical, to instead realize practical applications in thought word and deed in accord with this reality as creation as the physical here.

When and as I find myself reacting within and as believing something to be impossible, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand how my own separations are a busyness in a narrow value judgement, as words moving nowhere, to see, realize and understand that patterns of value judgements of and as protection and defense, as a shadow world of a personification of limited values, here, I stop and I breath, and I realize the pulling of the strings of value judgements as a means of manipulation with few words, probably at a sixth grade level - so to speak- as separation is composed of limitation, thus to speak to the limited construct and lend real structure to and towards bringing hyperinflation as ideas, beliefs and opinions, back down to earth, as this is the ‘ zone of proximal development “ of and as separation from self as life, here, thus to speak to that, which means to manipulate, and yet in the order of what is best for all, here, to begin to journey to reverse life, into equality and oneness here. 

Moving into Fear and Losing Potential Day 741

Moving into fear and losing potential

Where is that point of movement, a sound movement in a way, where I move into resistance, instead of solution?

I can realize when I move into comparison, blame and spite, all of which is fear, as this is moving into protection instead of a harmonium of balance, remaining focused on myself here as what and who I am as a physical human being in a physical planet. I can notice where I move into seeing events of the past that I have allowed to define me, the cultural background based on environments and social structures that were ideas, made ritual, utilizing how things are built as a repetition in sound, as words, as pictures, creating a melody within of which movement against caused conflict, and I feared for my survival, allowing myself to fall into an illusion projected onto reality, as the physical. I became a one sided conversation and no longer conversed with what is real, the physical. To restore a natural presence, means to recognize what I have allowed to direct me as information, and refocus this in reality, remaining present, or within a presence of this reality, acknowledging that I allowed myself to become at-most-sphere, instead of being a part of this real event called life all around me. 

In practice, in the practical, I am water and substances that can remain in balance and flow as who and what I am, I need not compare myself to others as they are the same as me, they are another means of perspective, a conversation of this orchestra, cross referencing perspective builds a greater awareness of the whole.  This means direct interaction and that careful walking from the grass roots up, from the ground up, eventually reconnecting the parts to realize the sum of the parts create the whole. Bubbles of belief separate from the practical, as a mind consciousness system of a story of a sequence of events being resonant instead of a reflection of what is here, as the physical,  is what is sounded on the media stage instead of information that educes a greater awareness of this physical reality in and as how this reality actually functions. Human rights outlines stand more in accord with what we are, realizing each being needs the basics to function. Instead we trade information as ideas, beliefs and opinions in separation from the practical, from a common sense of the whole, as what and who we are. 

I can sense when and as I move into fear, and realize that because I have allowed myself to exist within fear, that I have little practice in being and remaining present, being thankful when a perspective is sounded, as shared, that is not something I had real-eyed in focus, in recognition, in-sight. I can become the model of standing as this, accepting mistakes because of habits allowed within in discord of the practical, I can be thankful within opportunities of discord to balance and sort out, of which, when a starting point of practice, can build momentum and lend a more rapid ability to process and hear here to then reflect here with and as what I speak, as what I sound, as the very instrument that is me as a human being on a physical planet. I can transpose what is around me, remaining consistent, constant, grateful , always remembering the silence is there for me to reflect the potential of life, to reform, to interact, to place my feet on this ground, and build from the ground us because this is the gift given of where and who I am, as a physical beingness on a physical planet. I have the  capacity to hARM- o - neighs  myself here, in common sense of what is the same as me, to speak in tune with reality, to become the insight of words reflecting what is here, and thus realize what is more natural, which is to sing/speak in tune with here. 

One thing I learned, or experienced in this life is how important is the small, as a sense of presence that I can direct in the smallest of movements. When realizing the smallest of things as a stabilizing point , it is easier to then move into the greater construct of the small, as the parts of  as much a part of the whole as is the whole a composition of the parts of the small. Thus, I must not fear the small. In this case the very words that I speak. To master this within myself, and to not fear this, to realize this is not a thing controlled by anyone but myself, lends great discovery in myself being able to become the directive capacity of myself.  I can become an instrument that sings with this reality.  

Just as I accumulate through practice, which is a kind of consistent recognition, I can become a seed of this, standing as this, building in the very fabric of this existence the means towards this, moving like the growth of a tree, spreading veins of this into what is here, until enough momentum is built that the fruits of what is laid-bare as my labor, is recognized within and as a kind of awakening in self awareness here, back into this physical reality being the expression of life information. 

What joy and connection would that be in living practice? In real communion with and as a recognition of who and what we are as human beings, breathing and real=eyezing creation right here? What joy to realize connection, to lend what is freeing and giving of capacity inherent in who and what we are? Would there exist one-sided conversations? Would there be rushing or would there be the joy of the small, the joy of real connection, where each could become self directive here, being thankful for what and who we are in physical presence? 

The rush and narrow read of greed, does not recognize the reed through which the sound of fear rushes through, seeking a quick fix and in so doing missing an experience of real connection , a living connection. Fear is in-stead of the ignorance inherent in a one-sided conversation. A  limited conversation reflects the con of greed, the rush of hope alone, or a faith without the experience of living the practical and small necessary building of a real command ability.  In step with life a seed of presence must be built, to become that tree of deep rooted stability, harmonious with this that is us, physical being as who and what we are, as creation information. This must be sounded, the sounds mastered. Mastery means a practice of recognition of the notes and how they form the narratives that frame and direct presence , that pre-science , that precious sigh of breath able to reflect recognition of the formation of this life, this physical world that is creation, right here. 

Words are a thing, they are a sound thing, a piece of sound. They are a narrative that when believed to be more real than the physical, separate awareness. Yet, words are a means of building a sound picture that is in accord with this physical reality. A means of recognition with this physical and practical reality. The space of silence surrounds the words I speak, therefor there is the space to see the time of narrative, and to relate a conversation to living physical information as creation, right here. We can therefor sentence ourselves to a state of separation from here, or use what we sound to sound the chord of this physical reality, directing as who and what we are, to become equal and one with this life information that is the same as us, as it is what and who we are. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist recognition of what and what I am as the very words I speak here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing the fabric of a conversation in separation from being in a chord with and as life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize all that is here his the same as me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear what is sounded, to resist, to compare, to reject,  instead of playing with, realizing I can change, and process and investigate and assess form here, and enjoy the awesomeness of the small, as the space is here, all around me, to sense and realize potential as that which recognizes all things and senses balance and harmony into what does no harm, as I am life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe a self created and accepted narrative in separation from recognizing this living reality as the physical that is life in expresison here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand what I form as the words I speak, that can become a series of events in protection and defense, in fear of standing equal and one to here, as this living reality, that is physical, as I am the means and the instrument able to recognize here, to be cognizant of here, as the space of potential as silence as a starting point of and as the very means of who and what I am as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear silence, to fear space, to fear recognizing here, as myself,  as I feared letting go of a false narrative as an experience of a mis-use of who and what I am, as what I sound as what I speak,  in and as allowing a starting point of self interest, out of step with a practice of recognition of and as a respect to and towards this physical world,  of which an underlying silence allowing a perpetual recognition of the potency of the physical as life, and the constant realization of realizing what does no harm here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to reject being present and respectful of this reality, and instead following a false and energetic sequence of events as a narrative inconsiderate of all things, as the practical and basic needs of what it means to be physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how adaptable I am, within and as what I form as the words I speak and how as what I am, I can remain within the heart of me, as who I am as life, and the tiers of this reality so auditory around me, if I slow down and list- them to recognize and respect all that is the same as me here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be in terror of here, and within this to real-eyes that the tiers of physical beingness are sounding here, audible here, thus can I turn an accepted and allowed inner seed of events built in fear of myself as life, into a recognition of the tiers sounding practical and physical reality, here. 

When and as I find myself in fear, in resistance, in separation, in comparison, in not living the potential of me, as who and what I am, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I recognize the physical, to list-en to what is here, to tune into here, to utilize the space of here, to see realize and stand equal and one to the awesomeness of life information as creation sounding all around me as the  physical. 

When and as I find myself being in terror of here, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and listen, to hear the tiers of form here, as the physical, to change from being in terror of here, protecting a territory of and as idea, belief and opinion, of and as who and what I am, and I forgive this, and recognize myself to the physical, hearing the tiers of creation, allowing and accepting being present here, moving into being in tune with the practical physical formation of creation, here, that is the same as me, and I enjoy working with the smallest of things as the words I sound, to ensure a constant and steady practice of respecting as recognizing all things, to move from reaction as being terrified, into seeing directly here the tiers of reality audible around me, thus is a desire for a territory in survival  transposed into a recognition of the tiers , as the order of the physical, rite/right  or/hear/audible/formed here before me as the physical with myself the same, as what is here is me.

Reciprocity Day 703

Within the sales process I have learned the importance of listening. There are levels of listening, as one must see the whole and the parts. One thing I notice is how self validation comes forward, in the form of the speakers experience, the things that express the structure the person uses to self guide, to self support. It is a form of conception, a form of knowledge and information that defines the person. I must listen to this, as it shows me what the person uses to order themselves and their goals, and what is unique about them. This means, that window into what potential they gravitate towards to connect as a starting point with this earth.

The moment I interrupt them, I am essentially beginning to force something on them. I am taking what they have said and already, in a rush, relating it to myself. I have not asked questions to clarify and made sure that I understand where they come from, what they have defined themselves as. And, I have not used their state of being to hear what would more than likely, to a tiny degree, expand my awareness, because inevitably, everyone is unique, because everyone is standing on a different point on the ground, thus even with all the layered stories of experience within this, there is always an insight buried in the storm. I must listen for that, and yet, understand the building around that point. It becomes an incredible thing to be able to do, this math, and this discovery of a point of connection. This is overall a process, and it is the same for myself, as it is for another. It is a reciprocal process.

Lately, I have attached the image of a horse to this process. For some reason I define a horse as having a reciprocal nature. This is moving backwards and forwards, to see the parts and the whole, to even enjoy this process. It is accepting the gift of understanding and then reconstructing once a connection is made. 

Before I began to realize this, I would get scared and angry, righteous and overwhelmed, moving into all manner of justifications and frustrations to push a goal I had within me. There is nothing wrong with the goal, really, it is who I am within what I am doing that is the problem. That rush, my own agenda wanting a quick connection instead of realizing that the process is living. In space and time I can only be here, and development moves in many ways, like self awareness is in perpetual change, or transformation, and that this is being here. 

This reminds me of the summers I allowed art students to open a gallery in my living room. Each student had a different approach to their art. One did iconographic pictures, mixing up cartoon-like images in new ways. Another, did pictures of nature, oil paintings and water colors. Another, did really simple still life’s of objects. When people walked into the gallery, they would automatically be drawn to certain images.  Some like the simple and somewhat amateur still life’s, some went right to the paintings of nature, and some stood in front of the story line images.  Each type of art made some sale. 

Thus, each person reveals their own belief systems within their choices, and their words more than likely reveal the patterns of their belief, and the experiences used to justify their belief systems. Before one can connect with another, one must reciprocate, meaning move back and forth, listening and understanding where a person comes from as their perspective of reality. 

Within this, resistance is productive, because it helps realize what defines as a structure and then allows one to open up that structure in small and simple ways, to open doors into accepting other perspectives and expand within one’s self. Within this, comes an ease and a sense of trust. And, an exposure of how all of this works, because one then has the contrast of one’s belief and that of another. Thus what could be considered a limitation, becomes a means towards expansion. Limitation becomes an illusion. Yet, this is how we learn, this is how we practice becoming present, enjoying form no matter what and seeing it for what it is and looking outside of that to change, as change will happen in small steps, digestible steps. This is reciprocity at work, moving backwards and forwards until something is clear, enjoying one another no matter the starting point. 

What does this mean in practice? This means listening to the story being told. This means hearing the value judgements, realizing the persona is in the words, getting to know the personality. Within this, discovering the potential suppressed as the means to the end, have not been lived and instead a past of experience leading to a role, as a persona was the choice made. This means moving back and forth, grounding one’s self in the physical reality that is right here. This physical reality remains, even when the persona wavers in protection and defense, avoidance and blame. In the silence, and the stillness of focus can one begin to sense patterns and call them out by name, indirectly telling stories, creating a value  that realizes the capacity through ordinary action that leads to the extraordinary movements that we all admire for their grace and ease. Those who have a small measure of development, that supposed exception to accepted and allowed rules that reveal in every way, the means to the end - as it is simple. What complicates is what causes resistance. That self suppression via limitation and ideas of lack circulating as pictures and words, as voices in the memory, a mind full of morality codes made larger than life and in separation from the practice of reality , a physical reality. It is a firewall , that is emotional. It is the veil. It has parts that are good, yet those are ideas  - not presence  in reality,  they are  - right or wrong - personifications. They are illusion, they are like a television. You are electrical and magnetic by design.  As within, so without, as above, so below.

So much of my life has been caught in sympathy. This means being sympathetic only, accepting another persona and agreeing with it, instead of realizing real empathy is listening and then giving practical solutions that move the path SIM-ulated into an expansion that allows one to move with ease and create, meaning to live the kind of potential realized inherent in the design of who and what we are as men, with two arms and two legs and two hands and the ability to move with our presence into forms, be they imagined or real, to sense the space of this reality around us, catching those point of resistance and yet seeing the creation of them, an inflating of what is a value judgement made huge, and bringing what was not expressed, or what was missed into a practical action. This is making things small, as within an equal size relationship to the physical world. This can only be done right here, in the commons of reality that is the physical world.

Within this I need not fear the projections of the mind of men as this is not who and what they really are. I need not fear losing anything, because what expands and creates can never be lost, yet it can become silent and begin again. What works remains and what destroys cannot remain, we either realize the value being life, or we continue believing that our egos are larger than life, mis-using the imagination with what is an imperfect practice, as we are not here, in respect of physical reality.

If we accept knowledge and information from an authority that speaks on a soap box from a distance, we lose all connection to our natural ability to assess reality, and we become instead filled with malice- a crystallization mercurial in nature a false morality, because we miss what is hidden in plain sight as the physical world.  We believe that adderal will help our depression because the label by the authority says so. We follow instead of investigate. later we may discover that this ‘ thing’ is really crystal meth with an added chemical chain that does not change the action of the original and real name. The damage done from such following is the mis-takes never solved, these which accumulate as mis-information/story, that weigh down the body while one lives in a false bliss up there in a bubble that is a personification. If we listen we all hear this, we all see this, we all know this. It is that we fear to live. Yet, that which we fear is the only way out. This is why that which we resist persists, because it must be made clear and brought down into practical measure equal to physical reality, as the physical is creation in expression.

Within myself, in relation to this, I realize the people I have trusted I can no longer trust, or that I am alone, that I must stand and be responsible for who and what I am.  Someone once said, trust no one. In reality, I can only trust myself, with the help of the commons, as the ground here, I can begin to slow down and listen and no longer become confused, or recognize that I am confused and see that I have not found that simple point to bring forward that is always right there in front of me, in every moment. For this, I can use my best friend; silence - and who has a twin known as patience.  I am here. I can take that which is good and does no harm and I can walk with self forgiveness into investigation and assessment to find what is self corrective until equality in each and every point realizing the value is life is here on earth.  I see, realize and understand that fear is a sign that I am not present in reality. I can use the capacity of myself as life, to take the time to reciprocate and build understanding and then relate to respecting reality and choosing what is best for all, as this is what s best for self, here. 

Day 627 The Fabric of My Persona

The Fabric of My Persona

I had an experience yesterday where I was alone with a human being playing a role in our society.  As I stood there talking with him, I could see some fears coming up in relation to my role towards his role. That uncertainty , like a fly buzzing around behind my head. I slowed down and went into the basics; I had been asked what I did.  The basics; myself in another life stood before me.

I notice often how we breath, our breath never really at ease. For me, this is an indication to slow way down, within and without. Slowing down the words and getting real simple. Often the words I speak, becoming metaphor, an indirect way. Given the limited time, it is to just stick to this, as it is not offensive or confronting. Yet, it can give a structure easy to hold, planting a seed.

In all of this, on reflection later, I realize as I looked at myself slowing down, how much effort within myself is used to maintain a persona. The rushing it involves. The act of slowing down, and moving into the basics, allows a respect of the persona, and a non-threatening calm. This that is used to separate, can be used to ground. Is this taking that which is good and does no harm?

Is this slowing down a ‘ novel’ experience, because of having spent so much effort and time using my awareness to build and  maintain a persona to survive?  That personification building and maintaining exhausting. This seemingly ‘ novel’ experience an ease that was always there and was more normal, so a double edged surprise? By this I mean, this is a discovery, so it is something new, and yet, it is what is normal. So, within the new, is the realization that the persona was one caught in a drama that had no reality, it was a storm in separation from what was natural, which was being equal to the practice of living in a physical reality.

Overall, this is not having had enough information about what we are here, in total. A loss of a sense of reality. In effect we are not grounded here, and it is being grounded here, that is that which brings ease. The dis-ease is being caught in the projection only. Thus, the compounded problems around us, are the effects of the effort to build a persona to survive without considering the practical application of living a physical life.  

Day 604 Despair and Space and Time, Self Forgiveness

Despair, I have been talking with my son about relationships and reactions when facing other people.

I gave him some perspective. I realized  later that the perspective I gave him I had not applied myself, or had applied recently and discovered something about being patient and gentle, within the understanding that being patient moved me through into a mutual understanding with another instead of a reaction leading to a mis-understanding.

Within being patient, I was not reacting, but standing the ground within what brought solution, which gave direction.What I found in this instance, specifically was that in repeating myself when talking with another, often lead to a point of understanding. Structurally, this patient repetition, a spaced repetition, through a storm of resistance, the argument of limitation as what one feared or believed that had no real stability, meant for me to remain within being gentle, humble and consistent in my words through this storm of reaction as belief that was in essence not clear, as it was based on some inner desire instead of what made sense in a physical world. Interesting that the physical world is always here, all ways here, bringing the practical movement, holding one gently if we only accepted it and allowed it because it shows the way of no harm, the way of creation, and all the parts that order in ways that are good.

I had spent time with another person, and it took time, with many moments where I felt uncertain, believing that my words were not getting through, as though I made an idol of my words, wanting instant and immediate understanding without realizing that reaching through automated self expression meant working one’s way through this to a point where this exhausted itself and an opening appeared where that point of vulnerability arrived and one stood there open because all had been said, because all had been exposed and either one resisted another or accepted them. but it is this point where within that vulnerability a connection can be made. For me, it was more like, “ yes I have listened, taken the good, and I am here, and I am not rejecting you, I am still here” Overall, this created a situation of calm, of acceptance, of a seemingly safe place to be where each could be themselves.

In the space and time measure, as the rhythm of things moving here, on this earth, conceptually the length and duration of these movements can be understood and timed within a practical application that considers these things, and yet if we have not learned to interact with all of this conceptually, like listening to an orchestral piece, we do not develop the means to direct ourselves here, and our memories are not of the practice of becoming aware of this space and time construct we live in.

The very use of time as a measure as our system, is what places a rigidity into our lives that separates us from practical reality, and yet the measure of space and the duration of the expression of what is here, is a measuring that self empowers each of us. So, the parts are not bad, but when used to separate as control into limitation of being aware, are such means a distraction from reality. And yet what started this? Was it each of us, because we chose to ignore one thing over another, not realizing what in essence what we were doing was comparing apples to oranges instead of seeing creation for what it is, an expression of which we were the same, and of which could change, so one form was us in another form, and that that other form could direct us into more understanding and discovery to the point where we could further play as creators of life information?

So, when I despair, I essentially have believed there was no way through, but here I have to ask myself to where I was going through to? I had to slow down and become equal in understanding with the moment, which means looking at reality and not the shadows of belief in and as my mind, from a system that propagated thinking over cross referencing practical reality, because being caught in thought only, was being in a metaphysical construction, a paranormal existence that forgot reality, and lost the movement of forgiving to the physical total state of being to cross reference what was for real and this being all of existence.

In despair I have lost a sense of space, and become the measure of my belief system, one that is extremely limited as mind. As mind is dependent on the physical, it has its own space to exist, and as such it lasts in bursts. As it has no real substance, and as it exists in the wobble of limitation, which is denial, and then moves into justification, it reaches a point of play out and then opens the silence, and thus the space to assess and realize separation. Structurally, if I stand as what is best for all, and repeat this, in the moment, if my words are clear, and I am open to change in subtle degree within that which is good and does no harm, that can remain. This need nothing other than being gentle and patient, because the strength of what can withstand the test of time , need only be gentle, much like the water on this earth is gentle. Even water can be gentle when frozen, all fluffed up as snow, and even steam can be gentle, washing around one warming the skin. lol.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to despair

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to use my own common sense as who I am as life to sense space and the imposition of time as a regimented system of control based on a belief stuck in comparison moving into competition because of a separation from creation as life information, as sound formation that just as water can change.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that an idea defines me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I cannot change.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to accept what is here in this moment, and to stand here in this moment accepting what is here, understanding it and enjoying it as life, as it reflects me to me, where I then can change in my understanding.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to criticize another in support of my own self interest as idea believing that something will be lost if an idea I have about myself changes.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that creation is always creating, and as such, changes, which means I am in constant change, and yet this is the way and the means into understanding creation here, accepting life information.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be patient, without fear of change, as the physical does not change in an instant, but transforms, thus change is a process, one that moves in ways that I can understand and participate within and as myself as the very words I know, to commune with life as the physical, to participate in creation as what I am.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become patient and gentle and humble, in my interactions with the physical life around me, to slow down and equalize with this creation, to see directly the muse of creation, of which I am an equal substance of and as, and as such to not despair, but to join in the community of life as the physical here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush within the game of survival, as ideas, beliefs and opinions as mind, a metaphysical existence of self interest and self aggrandizement in separation from remaining equal and one in conceptual consideration and respect of all life, which is the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down and remain within and as my common sense, gentle and humble as what sense here is and does, to see realize and understand the measure of here as the physical and the mind in separation that cries limitation - that runs out of steam, that compares and within comparison fears a loss of self definition and competes to validate a self definition that is overall a separation from self as life and creation.

When and as I find myself reacting to limitation and self validation, within and without, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I ground myself here, to become patient and gentle, which is to fear no loss, to place myself within what holds me as the silence of eternity, to stand in cross reference of physical reality within and as what does no harm, and what self empowers another to understand the practical measuring of here is forgiving of and as common sense to see function and form which  gives answers when questioned to look at the parts and understand, taking the time to realize physical creation to then move in ways that do no harm.

When and as find myself moving into resistance as to what another says as idea, belief, and opinion, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that nothing can define me but what I accept and allow, and that form can be understood, assessed, examined and considered and then directed in practical common sense ways as this is the capacity of myself as life here, as this is with all men, as physical being on earth, when given the space and time and support physically to do so as each is the very substance of and as life here.

When and as I find myself believing that all is lost, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I realize the nature of myself as life is like water, that the common sense of me as me, is gentle and can cross reference reality here and understand the space and form as the physical in creation and investigate with the innate ability of and as me to cross reference and take in information here, to self empower me to take that which is good and does no harm.

When and as I find myself moving into despair, I stop and I breathe and I forgive myself to practical reality, understanding that with spaced repetition I can stand in thought word and deed within and as what is best for all here.

Day 577 Suppression: believing the entities of belief are real.

Suppression Character

I have had some problems in my chest, it feels like there is this shield there. The pressure from this has been bothering me for some time.

So, I looked at this point as a point of suppression. This suppression comes in a form or constriction, and if I go to look at the fear, there really is nothing there but ideas and beliefs, and opinions about things I never really took the time to investigate in practical common sense terms. Meaning, I separated myself from what I am here, a physical state of being as this is where I live and move and breath and exist. Here is what is real. If I am in separation from this, I am actually living in a mind construct, a projected idealism that separates the within of and as me from the without as this physical world that is the expression of life. Without this physical world I cannot exist, as this was here, and will be here when I am no longer here. And I can only continue as life, and life accepts all things, because the nature of life is creation. Creative ability is a transformative ability as this is how things are formed. And form reveals function. Form is both the particle and the wave. Makes sense. Thus, the physical world is life and must begin to move in ways that respect all of it.

Last night as I talked with someone, I looked at the movement in my chest area. I looked at where I created ideas about a situation more than just being here, at ease, realizing that I have the capacity to direct myself in ways that  allow myself to determine what I am. Meaning, what am I allowing to define me, more than taking anything personally being said, or being believed - as idea, and within this realizing that change is a  natural part of life and that all around me is transformation in every moment.

So, within my chest I could let the “ rise” of needing to protect, in this moment, go, and breath, I was here.

To some extent, I realized that what is considered the mundane, is what is real, and within this that realizing the mundane allows me to have the space and the time to participate within the slow physical movement of transformation, because there is plenty of space to be here, to take the time to see, and realize what is here. It is only the busyness of the mind that appears to have no time, and a consequence of having allowed this on earth as what men have been doing, is what has created the systemic structures that have all running after money to survive, as an idea as a self definition in ignorance of the practical physical world, has been defining us, and manifesting a projection as our present system that is overall, in separation from life, from being equal to creation. 

It is like allowing myself to become the beLIEf I allowed and letting it fall as me, back down to the ground here, like accepting it, and realizing there is really no place to fall. It is letting the self definitions go and then beginning to stand here, in common sense of that which I am that is life as this actual physical world.

Interesting that the habituated self, remains and as this, sadness is letting one thing go, this projected personality, and turning into rebuilding, because any equality to life has not really been lived. Earth, our hearth, our heart, must be aligned here in expression with and as accepting the physical as creation. What we believe as mind, is meta-physical, not good or bad, but a projection from the physical world, dependent on it.

This one incremental movement, to just let this “ down” as my heart area, as not reacting, as not constricting, opened up the shield, lessened its intensity and gave direction that was of more ease than that act of tension in protection and self defense based on an abstracted idea of reality. Is this what Christ meant when he said “ though I walk in the valley of the shadow of good and evil, I see no evil”?  and within this, what I see is the potential of life, of creation being denied and that it is here within us, right in front of us? Are there many who realize that war is not the answer, war is an act that bears no witness to life, is only  a system of profit based on an idea that one projected self definition of more exists than another idea of more in separation of the context of creation? This really is a melodramatic movie happening in the minds of men that destroys to allow an egotistical construction that is a bubble self only.

I can decide what defines me, I can shape what I am within, and the physical world is me, and is what stabilizes me here, as I am of the same substance and as such, a part of creation. So, it is to bring myself back down to here, equal and one with and as what has been labeled as “ mundane” to accept the gift of life as the physical. 

Thus.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to constrict in and as my chest area, to tense up based on an idea in and as my mind, in fear and reaction as protection and self defense, overall a separation from being equal in common sense of creation as the physical here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that an abstract entity as a thought is more than reality as the physical, as the physical is life information, life in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing an idea of what i am here, not a good or  a bad but a selection of the qualities of what is here, where one quality is made less than another, and where according to exposure and opportunity more self direction has been learned but even this overall, is in limitation of creation as the physical,  as were it not so, then this world would be heaven on earth, an expression of the physical world at ease, communicating, interacting in ways that do no harm and create in respect of what is best for all, realizing we are all the same, of the same means of life information as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not let myself go, as in letting go of an idea, and cross referencing reality in every moment, using the ability of myself as life to sense what is here, realizing the mind is a projection that becomes a personality that I accept and allow that is a separation from  life and has no real directive capacity and is idealized thought, and thus, I stop and I slow down and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take things personally, which is myself believing that an idea can define me, and I slow myself down and investigate the actual real physical world to see, realize and understand that I exist here, respecting the physical world as creation information.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in this letting go there is what might be called a “ sadness” and as this movement, I see, realize and understand that this is simply change, a form of transformation only, like the changing of the turning from one direction to another, and that in moving through this if I resist this, the sadness - which is only a slowing down - will persist, as in this being a slowing down, there is, just as in a car slowing down, a sense of resistance, where on the other side of this resistance is the point of change, and as this I realize I have accepted and allowed this resistance that is myself allowing inferiority to life here, and for this I forgive myself.

When and as I find myself tensing up in and as my chest area, I stop and I breath and i allow myself to “ fall” to accept the change, the moving from chasing an idea, to coming back down to earth, and realizing the sense of slowing down is only a sense of slowing down, and that when I allow this, there is an ease and a realization that a personification does not define me here and that a personification as mind, can only define me if I accept and allow it, if I believe this to be more than myself as life here, as a physical state of being-ness as what life is and would be in common sense.

When and as I find myself tensing up in my chest area, I stop and I breath and i slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that I can “ fall” as in letting go of self defining ideas, because I am here as physical being-ness where I am equal and one to the very substance of life, and as this i can slow down and investigate what does no harm, and investigate what sustains the physical and allows expression, and the means of expression here as what circulates and shares understanding of practical physical reality, here.

When and as I find myself tensing up in and as my chest area, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I investigate all things, meaning paying attention to what I buy, for instance, to realize what supports all life, and also to realize myself as a creator, that is able to stand with others to create a change that supports all life on earth, which is, at the moment because of what has been accepted, to allow money to flow, as the wealth created, to flow to all men to enable men to become custodians of the physical world, in and as realizing the value is life here, where all forms of life are respected and supported.