Day 109 Castle in the Sky

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within the need for a “sounding board”, an object to sound and validate the persona of what I believe, opine and idealize.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to exist in needing an image and a character that references, through seeking likeness of myself, what validates and attends to my survival personification within a system of inequality, as the form and structure of how resources are distributed on this earth, in inequality, reflect what it is I have allowed myself to exist as within, thus - like the chicken and the egg- as in, as within so without, I exist in and as my mind in thoughts, emotions and feelings as personification in relation to my own self interests within a system of illusive guidance in separation from myself as life as equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that needing an object, such as all the newest gadgets, such as a group of like personas, such as the picture perfect relationship to be and become my “sounding board” in and as validation as what and who I am, all in separation from myself here  as life.

I forgive myself for having allowed and accepted myself to not have seen, realized and understood that in running after the carrot of personification in and as my self as characters to and towards my own survival within a system of inequality/competition/survival I have built a castle in the sky in and as my mind, and this “castle” as personification, is in separation from what is actually physically here, of myself in separation from interaction in equality and oneness with what is physically real, as what is physically real is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that any and all thoughts indicate my separation from what is here as life, indicate the personas of character I have accepted and allowed within a belief, opinion and idea, in separation from what is physically real, where I allow the resource of my human physical body to maintain my “castle in the sky” in and as my mind, that demands another “castle in the sky” to become the sounding board of myself as this personification within a system of survival/inequality/competition as the separation from what is actually physically here that is life, that is the support and resource of my “castle in the sky” composed of the personification of my characters I have accepted and allowed, built in childhood as this was what was presented by parents who learned from their parents, as I feared standing up as myself as life here, and took on the crutch of separation in and as the development of a persona as a collection of characters, directed through fear - an illusion- having no self trust as myself as life here, a physical being where what is real is this physical world, supportive as life, as the physical is life, is what supports as the images as “castle in the sky” with all the members and actions within such a system of defense, that ignore the actual physical world that is life, this that gives freely yet is bound within a illusive  signature of ownership, as the physical is the substance of life here, one and equal as life to all that is here, directly giving, where it is only man that has imposed/projected/ made huge ideas of lack/loss/insufficiency/inequality in and as a system constructed through the action of division and conquest into parts using the illusion of an invisible god/hand to justify the need for war/profit, all the details of the castle in the sky that is how earth presently exists in separation from what is actually physically real, this physical world that gives freely.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that the “real” “sounding board” is this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that myself as mind, in separation from the physical is composed of all kinds of mechanical buttons and gadgets as triggers as thoughts and emotions and feelings to direct myself within my castle in the sky and thus are my separations from what is actually physically here, are my separation from oneness in equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I need another castle in the sky to reference my own castle in the sky.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that the constrictions I feel in my calves are secret desires as myself as the characters I have accepted and allowed within a perceived personification in union with a system of separation based on ignoring unconditional giving as what this earth is, as what I project and want to “appear” as within role play based on limited desire of a substance that is a film, thin- of no depth - when looked  and listened to- that is a protection defense mechanism within a system of inequality, as the unequal, non-supportive-of-life economic system that uses money to divide and conquer freely given resource to maintain the “more than” 1% of the humans on this earth.

I commit myself to breathing, writing, corrective application until all the ideas, beliefs and opinions in and as my mind of thought are silent.

I commit myself to entering the “play ground” of life, in and as oneness in equality with and equal to this physical world.

I commit myself to saying no to the mind, to looking at what I am accepting and allowing as thought and wants in accord with the mind to align myself in common sense with what will practically support, as the “castle in the sky” is  separation from what is physically real.

I commit myself to standing one and equal, with and as this physical world, utilizing breath, self forgiveness, writing and corrective application until it is done.

I commit myself to realizing that what upholds my “castle in the sky” is fear, an illusion in separation from common sense, where if I walk through the fear, utilizing breath, self forgiveness, writing and corrective application I will realize this earth that has always been here, as what is real, is life, the support of myself for real.

I commit myself to realizing the “reed” of the physical, as myself as the instrument of life, to resound with life in equality and oneness, walking within the principle of oneness in equality, where the sky is the sky and not a carrot on a string as a “castle in the sky.”

Equal Money

The Soul of Money Introduction

Self Awareness Steps for the Elite

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Day 95 Fear of Falling character

The I am Falling Characterize

In the last days I have been aware of an image coming up of myself falling off; buildings, ladders, porches. Which is interesting, because I fell off a ladder about a month ago and must have fractured a rib. If you have ever fractured a rib, it hurts, and for a long time it hurts. And it is difficult to breath.

I looked back at the moment where I fell off the ladder. I was in self pity because I had allowed myself to feel sorry for myself because I was having to care for my home all by my lonesome self. I realize at that moment of falling off the ladder, that I was in a storm in and as my mind of myself in full blown inner mind windy self pity, a crying storm. I was not present and suddenly I was flying through the air, that which sustains me which I was ignoring, and landed on the edge of a deck, my ribcage hitting the edge. I knocked the breath out of myself in the absence of myself here.

This image of myself falling, failing, equating being alone as falling/failing. Allowing a belief in what should be, what I am supposed to be according to a system that educates through character development, through story instead of physical self direction. Just think, a child learns to walk, this is physical self direction, but by the time that child dies, it needs a cain to walk, the child becomes three legged, losing the ability to walk. What does this, what takes away the physical ability to learn to walk, before a supposed education? Even before language children learn to walk. Walking is a multi-task ability, involving many perceptive abilities, yet these are lost, are slowly over time taken away. Perhaps it is the non-use of this ability that is what is really taught within our schools, within a system of inequality, of profit, of abuse. A system that takes life, the whole and sends it spinning off the wall, as the wall is the laws, the man made mountains climbed that create the fall of Humpty Dumpty, and all there is to do it to realize self as life and put self back together again, to realize the wall is the illusion, the wall being the character development as mind in separation from what a child is born with a sense of, the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a re-occurring image of myself falling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that this image of myself falling is an illusion, as it is of the mind.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am falling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am failing.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I am physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to follow this image of myself falling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear falling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into an inner energetic spin that is a sense of myself as falling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear what others might say and think should I fall, not realizing that what might appear to be failing/falling is not.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that if I deviate from the norm of the society within which I live, then I will be looked at, by this minding of this society, as failing/falling.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that what is considered failing/falling is an illusion.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this feeling/movement of myself as falling has an unreality to it, a sensation of being a movie.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this is an idea and not what is real.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see beyond this image of myself falling.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not realize that in a sense there is no place to fall, as there is only here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that walking appears to be very slow and tedious, yet it is not.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to slow down, to become one and equal with myself here, walking in and as my physical human body, which is how a child must have learned to walk. What fun.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that my vertigo is my separation.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a fear of falling, as once when I was a little girl I fell off a horse, the horse took off and I wrapped my self around its neck and lost a red shoe and got in trouble for having lost the red shoe, when no one asked me about how I was from falling off the pinto horse that took off with me on its bare back as a little girl, where I had to be younger than second grade because we moved after first grade and no longer had pinto horses around, thus I was little.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have a feeling of being bad for having lost my red shoe that had just been bought.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel like the drama of being wisked away by a semi-wild pinto horse to be an experience for myself alone, as no one asked about me, and if anything everyone laughed, which was probably comical, yet I remember clinging onto the neck of the galloping horse before I feel in terror of falling, where I eventually did fall, but was not hurt, and where I do not remember going back and looking for the red shoe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that others should feel pity for me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have felt humiliated for having been taken over by a horse, which was actually myself allowing myself to be “overtaken” by fear instead of remaining in common sense within the moment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to get side tracked within facing this falling.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that if I am alone I will fall, which is silly, because if I fall, I am falling, thus I am flying through the air all alone anyway.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be here, one and equal to the physical, to be aware of this physical world, and instead lose traction in and as my physical body in allowing and accepting myself to become separate from what is actually physically here, and thus allow myself to fall.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this sense of falling is like a constant presence.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that perhaps I need to let myself fall- so to speak.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this falling, if I allow this is like a crying, where falling is crying, as a belief in falling inwardly, in and as believing some kind of support will be lost.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have been confused that I was not asked about falling off the horse and instead only punished for having lost my red shoe.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that obviously I was Ok as I was standing there ohne one red shoe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that no one cared because my personal fears and feelings were not being considered which is a state of self pity and belief that emotions and feelings are real, and they are not.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take it personally when my own personal fears and emotions are not being considered, not realizing that wanting emotions and feelings considered is the inconsiderate, and what is real is this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that perhaps the horse was just having some physical fun, and I was in fear and thus lost an opportunity to just ride like the wind.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that even thought I eventually fell off the horse from hanging under the neck of the horse, the horse did not trample me, thus the horse was more aware than I was.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that I am falling.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become aware of what/where it is that I am falling from.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that this sense of falling is myself not wanting to face here, as here is stability and here is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that should I fall I will lose something.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that when I become the “looking away” character I have this same sense of falling within the moment of looking away.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that I will lose something if I remain here, yet what I am losing is my own common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have seen this same experience in others.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stand when I have this sense of falling when I am facing another person, just as here, when I am alone I have become aware of this sense of falling, and how it is like a storm in a teacup, but I will need more practice in dealing with this image of falling that has been coming up; or, was it there all the time and I just never noticed?

I commit myself to breathing.

I commit myself to remaining in and as breath in every moment here.

I commit myself to always participate with this physical world, in and as breath, to be, as breath, one and equal to this physical world, where I do not end up flying through the air and landing on the ground because I was too busy allowing a character, giving a care to an illusion, as self pity.

I commit myself to breathing, to remaining here in and as this physical world, where this human physical body enabled myself to learn how to walk, and where a system of inequality takes that ability and profits from adding a third leg, as a cain to my self walking here.

I commit myself to remaining here one and equal to breath, to not allow a system of idea, opinion and belief to determine what is success and what is failure, as the value of a system of inequality is not a representation of life, as life, as this earth, is forgiving and values life, as life is the profit.

Equal Money System

Desteni

Creation"s Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Earth's Journey to Life