More deconstruction of MLM forms Day 787

I have had this back chat that is, as always, a complaint, which is a projection of blame and spite to and towards things around me, as expectations of how things should be. This is myself not looking here, not doing the math, to see, realize and understand here, this reality, this physical reality. This reality that on paper is slowly being owned by a few, which begs a question, as to what is real, as the separation from here, as religion and so much of our entertainment, and the very design of our schools, and taxing system, is all about separation from looking here. It is a diversion tactic, as what is real, is made insignificant, and what is real, the real means, is through paper castles, owned by a few. The system is a reflection of how much we make our personification larger than the reality. Thus, it is each of us, that allows this diversion tactic, because it is simply a reflection of what we are allowing within ourselves. What we practice, accumulates and becomes what we are, because it is what we practice personalizing, personifying. It is composed of relationships.  

We are a twist on that statement of and as ‘ trying to get a fish to climb a tree.”  We are, trying to get ideas, beliefs and opinions of ourselves to be more real than the reality around us. That busy work of self abdication of self responsibility becomes a personification of values, that creates a busyness of rejecting all of what we are as the real values that compose this physical reality, and we become a kind of displaced form, like a fish tryng to climb a tree. It cannot work, does not work, and will not work, we need only look around and realize this in application, even within simply realizing how the system, a system that controls this lack as well, that is also a mirrored reflection of maintaining the distraction and taking control of what is actually real. The irony is that nothing can be owned, and everything that is here is freely given, as it is the means of creation, as it is what manifests from what is practiced. What is real, can withstand the timing of a state of separation that is a out of synch focus. In a way, one must learn control of self, before one can move forward effectively.  Creation is amazing! It is a gift.

Thus within my own process, somehow, at this point I am looking at once again the MLM umbrella , as a belief, that is warped and then related to any form of structure, thereby being a misinterpretation of order and structure. 

A tree is a structure, where the sum of parts work together creating a whole.  One could label and define separate parts as more than or less than, when each part must have the other part to function. A multi level marketing form, is of separate parts living separate and small actions that lead to the end gal of what that multi level form is bringing to the market place of reality. A system of bringing things to market, is composed of different parts doing different sums, as actions that complete the whole and bring forward the things that are there to, hopefully improve our existence.  There are schemes where money is transferred within this, that are supposed to increase one’s money. As we all can realize, this can be abused, and yet the basic inherent form is not a bad, if anything it is natural. Yet, would not a government, that desires to own, under the guise of government, hidden behind a corporation as that which seems to eventually own things, that also works as a multi level marketing form, push, as manipulate when a form is abused, thougt as said, inherently good, manipulate within demonizing a form, and placing all under that umbrella, making itself larger than life, as that government and hidden corps, behind this projected fish being told to climb a tree? I mean, it begins to become quite obvious. It is astounding that we conceptually can’t see what is in plain sight, as we are all so busy projecting our own personal survival belief systems, we cannot see what is here, because we stand in front of our own created curtains! I mean, perhaps in the story of the Wizard of Oz, the mis-take was that that curtain, was not in front of the man manipulating the buttons, it was a curtain self composed, self accepted, self allowed ! 

Have a look, within words that are swimming around in our educational research system. This term, I should say, of and as a zone of proximal development, means that one comes forward within knowing a form to move with, so well, one then expands in one’s awareness of the form. When one moves from where one is at, one expands. if one tries to jump that expansion, one has a greater difficulty, because one is having to process more information suddenly, instead of building from what is known, into what is as of yet unknown. And this, with that inherent ability to absorb and understand. All of this, can be slowed down, creating confusion, if one is not equal to where and what one is doing, or trying to do something in which what one physically is, is not well suited for and as.  Liken this to learning to play an instrument, one masters the instrument to a certain extent and then begins to play with others, and then can begin to register the reactions of the audience, and even play with the sound, in terms of seeing what directs the focus of the audience onto the music, etc. This is all the means of moving into greater awareness, much like moving into the awareness of the multiple levels of and as how something works. This is the natural ability of each of us, thus removing opportunity is to slow this down, and stagnate this. In a system of survival, it is going to happen, that the natural ability of each of us, will face this natural ability to expand, from happening. Within this, I can see where the entertainment industry is that means to an end, and here, there is nothing wrong with information being shared via media ( real live connection may be best, but media sharing is also a way to begin to build a general scaffold ! ) . In all of this, what we do, as what we allow at the moment, one could not really criticize the parts, yet, when relating the parts to the whole, and to allowing a human being to realize their potential, suddenly that form, of good sounding parts, begins to fall short. Yet, there is a whole system, of multiple levels, holding that market of offering, in place! And that is being held in place, as a means of survival, yet, overall, each part, that is capable of realizing this, is ignoring this, Ultimately, as I state in words here, in relation to this, we are not stupid, yet we are accepting ignorance, in self interest, and that becomes a stagnation of our capacity, and an abuse on those freely given resources that are the gift of self realization as life. 

Sometimes, things cannot be denied, no matter how much what has been accepted and allowed, as that personification that screams survival, is and does, the separation from reality is visible in plain sight if we take the time to slow down and LOOK at the patterns, and how much the words we speak, are not grounded in the practical living reality around us. Within this, I had the thought yesterday, that words are in themselves, the slowing down of sound, to allow man to really begin to LOOK, they are, a great means of realizing the math, the real math, and the presented math, as structure around us in this world, and how much sound is manipulated. The game becomes like shifting sands, never having the same form each day, hard to catch, seemingly impossible to realize, yet, within each, is the inherent capacity, to realize each grain of sand, and each shifting wind, to see the sum of the parts in their constant movement to and towards balance, where it is only ignorance that warps that inherent expression of life, always here, to move into what is best for all, if we simply allow ourselves to realize who and what we are, as life. 

In realizing the good, and choosing what does no harm, we can rejoice in the children to come, and the parents to share and show, to move from our present zone of proximal development into being equal and one to the essence of the expression of life, which is to create and expand and live. It is time to master the instrument of life that is you, which means mastering your words, to learn to sound the inherent and natural creation that is you as life. 

Day 590 Who I am within the culture of woman. Day 5 Self forgiveness and Self Correction.

Day 5 Who I am within the culture of women.

I have been so busy reacting as being in expression of judgement as imagining that I am not being substantiated- all of which is based on self defining labels, that I have distracted myself from my own common sense. I even fear the reactions of self defining values being rendered meaningless, and placed into perspective in practical reality because an allowance over time of such emotional states to define  can become volatile and reactive as my automated defined self becomes stagnant where change becomes an illusion of loss when called out.  There is a part of me, a voice in my head that says, “ why the fuck do I have to do this” and “ why do I have to take the time to set this BS straight”  And “ get a grip and grow up, stop distracting others into your pity patter,” “ Look, no one is really trying to hurt anyone, it is all a big mis-understanding” and “ How dare you bring that BS here!” This is the voice as the back chat of protection and self defense of an ego construct, a self built value system that is a separation from being equal and one to practical reality here, where flow happens, which is where creation happens.  Do I continue to exist as a value judgement or do I become what i am, a creator?

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my inner world is of idea, belief and opinion, and not equal and one in consideration of practical life, here, which is life in expression, and as that point of expression, as a form, change happens here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to act in self interest in wanting to define myself in a bubble in separation from reality, from life, thus I am that which I accepted and allowed a separation from being equal and one to creation, which is manifested as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow resistances as ideas, and beliefs and opinions, in and as my mind, as an entity of stagnation as imagination, fantasies, projectiles of protection and self defense as idea and behaviors of suppression to maintain my own fantasy/imagination all done in self interest/self inner-rest  where anything that threatens my own idea about myself I react to as I fear change, as I fear that which would equalize myself to and as life as ironically that which I seek, that equal respect of all life being where I live the full potential of myself as life, as this is self honesty where I allow myself to move and flow with what is real, as the physical realizing that the physical world is an expression of me and of all life, as each is me in another life expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that what another thinks of me, which is an act of comparison from a starting point of a self interest as self definition cannot define me, unless I accept and allow it as idea, belief and opinion, as life is an expression of which must by nature sound what is best for all to withstand the test of time and have the stability to sustain itself into eternity, which means change, into and as, what is best for all here, which is the joy and the fun of it all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see , realize and understand that when and as I have back chat, as voices in and as my mind of “ Why do I have to put up with the emotion”, or “ Why do I have to put up with this BS” or “ get a grip” or “Who does she think she is” I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I bring this back to myself, as this is a red flag of belief as self definition which is a movement, a limited expression accepted and allowed as me that is in conflict and friction with practical reality, and that even if I have noted a limitation without, it is to move into solution in realizing nothing defines me unless I allow it, and to take the belief, insight and to assess the form and align this into what would allow awareness into that which gives expression that considers all life, that brings focus, that is self honest and as such is a solution of self honesty, self responsibility which is stable and sustainable, and can withstand the test of time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reaction only, as emotion, and desire for a feeling of gain, a feeling of value as an idea only.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not listen to myself to see, realize and understand the very sound of my voice, as myself when in more stable and giving situations can speak in a consistent tone that needs no force.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how physically I close myself up, pull myself in, suppress myself, as I believe what another thinks defines me, and/or my own beliefs that I have allowed to define me, may be lost and as such I would cease to exist, or so I believe.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand that I as life am common sense.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to become equal and one, as expression of life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I fear, as in physically form myself  inferior to life as conceptually allowing one aspect to be more than another, I tense/close/constrict/pull inward/invert which is like compress within and “ burn” in a righteous protective manner, creating an energetic storm, as an emotion, that believes itself righteous, right, as I focus on an idea, belief and opinion only, and as such separate from life expression, from being a reciprocal action of giving as I would want to receive in thought word and deed , my accepted limited expression of energy as an idea, as a judgement,that shuts/rejects myself  as life, as this self honesty where I am a being in expression of common sense of all as me, of life in expression around me as the physical.

When and as I find myself reacting within and as me, becoming inferior to what is here as life in expression, be it energy as belief, opinion and/or idea, as a value used to define, a limitation that is not necessarily a good or a bad, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand the information presented and I assess, through evaluation, examination of the parts presented and I move as the moment here, realizing that life is of a sound expression, and that this is the practical application of common sense, realizing that the value is being here, in focus as respecting life as the value, and I apply the principle as this, within and as what is best for all, taking in life formation practically to practice that which does no harm and takes that which is good.

When and as I find myself reacting to a value, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess within me, my own accepted and allowed habit of self definition before life, to see where I am seeking profit in self interest as a self definition visible as a reaction of taking things personally, an overall separation from common sense, and I bring myself here, ground myself in the practical here, realizing nothing can be lost and all can be gained in realizing/accepting all life  as me, which means becoming practical, practicing equal consideration of physical reality as being life, living life being the value.

When and as I feel a pressure building up in my solar plexus, I stop and I breath, and I see what thoughts as belief, opinions and ideas, as my past of exposure to culture and experience within limited ideas that had no real self substantiation as life,  built of opinions and beliefs that I accepted and allowed to define me, manifest as the voices in and as my mind consciousness system construct, as energy as what is good and what is bad, as what I resist that is persisting as beliefs circulating and accumulating within and as me, falling into my solar plexus, and I stop, and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I look at the human code as the words and values attached to the words, as generational value systems in separation and limitation of life information as reality here, and I asses and deconstruct through self forgiveness, and reconstruct within the principle of what is best for all here.

When and as I find myself reacting and moving into justification and protection and self defense, I stop and I breath, and I realize what would give solution through investigation of here practically, as in looking at the detail of here, within taking that which is good and does no harm, and within this realizing that nothing can define me unless I accept and allow it, and to realize in practice that to become a belief that I am unworthy in any measure is a disrespect of life as what I am, and I stabilize myself here until I am grounded, here.

When and as I find myself believing myself inferior and/or self aggrandizing as imagination into a belief as being superior, I stop and I breath, and I look at my thoughts as my back chat in and as my mind, to self correct through self forgiveness into what is best for all, as what is a practical application of myself here as a physical being in a physical reality, to see the practical steps necessary to direct myself here.

When and as I practice being practical here, in consideration of life being the  value, I slow down, I breath, I sense the thoughts within and as me, I sense the posture of my human physical body, the instrument of my self expression as life, here, to realize where I am not equal and one to life here, as an actualized movement of equality and oneness to and as life here as the physical, to see where I am not of sound mind, meaning to realize where I am not moving with ease, with flow, with forgiveness here, as the words I speak and the tone with which I speak, and the assessment of the physical world around me in respect of life, as this is the way and the means to equalizing myself to the physical as an instrument of life, which is accepting the gift of life here, to become equal in creation with life as the physical.

Day 494 Self forgiveness on a thought about my father as a child.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that stability, comfort, strength,  exists outside of myself as being that within my father, when he himself was a younger man, and myself as a very small child in a world where my parents were themselves a consequence of generations of separation into and as a hierarchical form of division via separation from common sense into and as limited values that define self from a starting point of building a personification of experiences that define the value of self, instead of learning from the get go, to direct self as common sense, that starting point of ability so prevalent in young children who have the ability to learn rapidly.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not want to slow down, breath, and look at this in common sense, for fear of loss of a belief of self, and for fear of realizing that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as the reverse of myself as life in full capacity and that the gift of this was always right there in front of me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the weight of fear as this, that began in childhood, where if I look, I can see realize and understand that the period where there were so called - buggy men under the bed - it was really myself projecting the bad away from myself, as myself rejecting parts of myself to take on a value to define myself in accord with a system that in total is a separation from myself as life which is the outward manifestation of what I have accepted and allowed within myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is myself as my human physical body that is the instrument as mind  that is projecting those fears outside of myself, through stories of good and bad, inner picture shows that can be traced back to self as the source and the occupation of separation away from self as common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I slow down, I can see, realize and understand that this is a movement within and as myself, that has a weight of heaviness and “ slime” within where self is so in separation from self as a physical being, and so consumed by the mind consciousness imagery that facing the pain within the physical as the value judgements projected outward self has no awareness of because self as life is so busy watching the reverse of life as comparison within good and bad, thus, as one becomes aware of self within the physical body, one eventually must face the fear that is the source of the separation, and this fear appears so huge, when it is not, which I must remind myself of, and slow myself down and breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being myself as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stand equal and one to and as fear here, within and without, to see, realize and understand that this is the only way, into equality and oneness in and as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to understand the mechanisms of my separation into and as fear, as in common sense, the physical world is mechanistic and as such can be read by that which is it created from, which is self as common sense, really the perfect design of life, in all common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that resistance to this would be the course of resisting a habit.

When and as I find myself having any movement within and as me, as a constriction, as myself reacting to here, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand the thought as the starting point and the values of separation into a good and a bad, and I stop and I breath, and I bring this back to self here, and I stabilize within and as myself and realize what is actually physically here in a physical world that is understandable in form and function as a mechanism as a gift to be equal and one to and as life, here.

When and as I find myself  resisting here, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I look to what I have thought within, as what i have accepted and allowed, that is myself fearing to ear/hear here, and I see, realize and understand where I have placed blame and spite outside of myself  and not walked in equality and oneness in each moment, here.

When and as I find myself beginning to breath with out ease, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I allow the fear that i have accepted and allowed, and I stand equal and one to and as this, and I do not allow the back chat  to be the directive of myself here, and as I stand equal and one to this that I have accepted and allowed, I see, realize and understand that this is an accumulation of a past as a behavior that was not myself in equality and oneness to and as life, and as I face this, within and without, I slow down and I walk in thought word and deed, the principle of what is best for all, as what is best for self is what is best for all here, and if and when, I am uncertain, I stop and realize that it means to simply investigate solutions as this is a process of the journey to life, to stop participation within and as a mind consciousness in separation from life, and to become the gift of life in common sense as what is best for all, which has never been done,  and yet, the discovery is the gift of life, the only  choice, here.

Day 323 Being bullish with bullying

I realize in looking back in detail, as much as I am able, into my childhood , through looking at how i move myself here, the very emotional, feeling thought movement of myself here, this which takes some time to realize as what this means, yet all can do this, as this is something that is heavy, that is life an eddy of collected stagnant moments, turned into hope, Hope and an acronym for How Observant People Edify, meaning how people turn their fear into an icon, an idol as guide, when this is really un unresolved expression of self as life, here, at ease with the actual physical world, a creation of a movement of self in need, in desire, where the lens of self becomes a begging for this in thought, word and deed, thus, it is always in the words we speak, our own separations and desires, because we are machines reflecting what we allow ourselves to be, if we are dishonest with life, as what we are, we them become that dishonesty. We cry our dishonesty from life, our separation.

I am seeing Bernanke saying that her is trying to solve the financial crisis, that it all takes time, that it is complicated. It is only complicated because there is fear there, or, one could say there is not wanting to let go of having more than another. Of course there is no resolution of the financial crisis when letting go of having does not fit into the design of what would solve the crisis. The crisis is that in order for one to have what is needed to support life, means another cannot have, and all the systems are directed in such a way to maintain this belief. Bernanke is like a spider in a web, where the workings of the web are the system, and any imbalance triggers a reaction and the spider as illusive web maintainer cannot fathom the ground beneath the web, too busy is he/her with the web. The wave of common sense as life, as all men realizing and standing up can take this web away and let the sunlight in.

Back to myself here, I do this, in and out, from way out there, referencing the present system as the world, back to myself.

I have my own little, bubble/web self designed in protection and defense of my survival, as memories, of thoughts, words and deeds, a story of emotion and feelings coming in and flooding me as I stand here and breath, seeming so real, yet so heavy and consuming. I do not need television, I have my own, I only want the tv when I need a break from myself. lol

It is like a run to organize things, like a proper woman, but what I am doing is organizing things to avoid being bullied, and even to hide that I avoid being bullied. I even dreamup possible bullying scenarios in and as my mind, where being bullied is really being rejected. So it is like I fear being bullied, and then I watch my reactions of others, to ensure I am accepted by them, which means I will then, because I am accepted, not be bullied.

And then I am so busy doing this, that I am not here, I am way far, far ,far away, buried under this self imposed movement of protection and defense that I have no idea how to really communicate as myself here, I have so little practice within being forgiving, that even if I am for a moment a torrent of sadness and tears want to come, as the memories of what I have accepted and allowed, being a longing for underneath all of this, as I allowed myself to become hope, in waiting for some kind of change, as this was created as a child, a pattern of separation set, because there was no other place to go, or I did not have the language and skills, and size to describe, stand up to, pull together in words within facing here.
Physically, I notice that my breath shortens, and within I search for shields of protection to stop what is a threat of punishment within my environment, what is a threat to my existence.

So, I have to breath, through this, to bring myself here, in common sense, without a fear that something will be lost. I don’t even know if I know how to do this, I am going to have to practice this! It is like letting go and bringing it back to self to direct as life in forgiving as life, here.

How did I do this specifically? Through accepting and allowing and using as how I moved in thought word and deed, an ideology of one thing being more than another, of weighing and judging, one value made popular and touted as a glory of having won. But it is not something won, it is really the being of self LOST in survival being justification, separate from actual life, separate from the actual physical world.

The values presented as what is use to direct self within this, are reflected in the choices using the earth’s freely given resources as the products of the consumerist market, where, since these are parts of life, they are not “bad” they are limited and lack consideration of all life, and thus, considering all life, means letting go of the soldiered self of limited bought products that are the fashions of protection and defense.

Bullying will always have limited values as what is used, because the very act of bullying is a separation from looking here,it is a destructive non directive criticism meant to diminish, stagnate instead of direct, show direction within awareness of self as life, as an expression of life, as what is real here. A bully cannot move at ease. A bully is the voiceof fear, a reaction in and as fear, a desperate act. Look, even trolls on the internet are men who are desperate to earn a living, It is like a last resort to survivel.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stop and breath and look here, to see, realize and understand that i am life, here, one and equal to and as all that exists on this earth,as the very substance and expression in and as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what is here on this earth as the physical world is life, and thus is a system that can be understood, realized here, as myself as the substance of life, this being the value, where it is the selection of limited values made icon, used to con, into and as limited expressions in and as energy as the mind warping reality into limited insight into and as what is here, creating a world of hu-men, into a system of protection and defense in separation from the gift of life, as the promise, the real promise of heaven, given, freely, for life to self realize itself as life, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to remain here, equal and one to and as breath, to slow down and to communicate with what is here, to realize myself as life in totality, to become one and equal to and as what i am, life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe through a thought that what is here will punish me if I do not match the state of limitation of another, to match a belief, to stand up to a limited belief that is within limitation as mind, as an allowed existential separation from equality and oneness within the value being life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have kept the enemy at bay, which in and as itself was a judgement, a labeling, that was a movement into a separation from and as life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have stopped breathing, to have become an erratic breath, not seeing realizing and understanding that my physical body, the form of life given to self realize myself as life, was showing me in my own state of disease to and as life, here, where the stopping, hesitant, irractic breath as what I allowed was moving into an ambiguity, a distance from being one and equal here, as life, not seeing understanding how to communicate what was here, as the very substance of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to develop a coping mechanism of protection and defense hidden in the guise of organizing what is here into and as limited values to present agreement, qualified/ recognized/attended to as acceptance with a smile, with energetic empathy, which I accepted as a success in distancing myself from punishment, from being cast out, from becoming a scape goat, from being bullied within being called names, being labeled as less than, being disallowed communication and interaction, thus, became I, a personification in and as what serves a system of separation from life, here , into and as the various roles and the behaviors within and as how these roles move here, within being a daughter, a mother, a sister, a consumer, an American, a human, a class based guidance system, a wife, a wife a widow, a spewer of limited beliefs, opinions and ideas, a spender without consideration of where and how and who created and moved the physical things of this earth that can only be moved by the various ways the hands of men have moved what is here, the complacent person, believing that it is too difficult to move myself here, not realizing seeing and understanding that the complacency is a byproduct, into and as a wasted human, because the weight of my separation accumulates within and as me, as energy becoming the directive of myself as I have misaligned myself through a mind, not understanding how the mind works, and thus have I accepted and allowed complacency to be what is real not seeing realizing and understanding that this complacency is the waste of a life lived in self interest only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am here, that I can breath, that i can see, realize and understand how this actual physical world functions through simple common sense and bring myself back into and as the physical and direct myself here, from this point to begin to practice walking equal and one to and as the physical here, no drugs necessary, no hand holding with an illusionary god, no reference to an invisible hand, no acceptance of a statement that it is difficult, no allowance that it is complicated, no disallowing communication until common sense of this actual physical world is aligned equal and one to all life, of which a visible existence of oneness and equality as heaven on earth, where all life here moves in and at ease, where no matter whose shoes I walk, I am at ease here, equal and one to and as an expression of life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the passive bully.
Self commitments to follow.

Day 158 What Is a Primary Source?

Within playing the violin, I must become aware of the physicality of the violin, and the “points” that are used to make the sound, produce the sound. And moving with these points and spaces, I produce.
It is the same with the human: an instrument, a physical instrument.
So, what I chose as “points” of reference will determine the sound I create. If my point of reference is a secondary point of reference, instead of a primary point of reference then I will miss perception of the primary point of reference.
This is what personification, as character, as what we are taught is, a secondary reference point and not direct interaction in common sense with what is primary, this physical world.
In other words, the human is presented with a secondary personification to “sound” as the starting point of self, and not taught the elements of direction from a primary as self as a physical instrument physically working with what is actually here. Thus, what is actually here is missed.
The sound of what is here as life is missed for the energy, as a relationship in separation from here, as secondary is what is propagated. So, we are playing character roles without ever having developed an awareness of what is primary, ourselves as physical instruments of life, self directing, self honest with self, self responsible, as we have abdicated our selves to dressing up as characters and personifications as what was taught to fit into roles that support a system where a few own the resources. What we have allowed and accepted is a masquerade in separation from life. And since this masquerade demands substance to exist, and is composed of a directive that is not of primary common sense, we are essentially a resource to feed a system of inequality, we are the characters that uphold the self interest of a few, and since this is all we know, we can no longer see what is primary, which what is the value, which is life. It is the movement of ourselves from this primary actual starting point of the physical in common sense, that allows one to become one and equal to this primary and thus walk with ease through “the eye of the needle” into becoming one and equal to life.
Thus, the desteni process is bringing self back to what self is as a primary element of, one and equal to, life, to realize the secondary relationship that is what a personification and character are as directives removed from a sense of actual physical reality. Since life is what is equal within all of us, and since life is creation - so to speak- the development of self as this primary source, is the strength, and once realized, equality is realized and this becomes obvious as the only choice within which to exist and that all that is here is to support the expression of life, one and equal, so nothing, no thing, can be owned, as it is one and equal to each of us as what we primarily are.
Thus, as how the physical works, all this water able to hold pictures, we become what is presented as the fantasies of the mind are the pictures, and they are of secondary steps as personifications of what enables survival within a system presented to serve a few. We have all become televisions of what serves a few, and are not directive within ourselves as life, starting from the primary element as life, as this is what is the value, life the primary thing that composes all that exists. And within this we have never lived as life, as self as life, as self directive as life, as self honest as life, as self response able as life.
This must stop, as this is consuming the earth recklessly unaware of the totality of what is here, as it has no common sense of what is primary. Instead a secondary, as profit for a few, a sequence of beliefs, ideas and opinions of a secondary ( ignorant of the primary source) nature, playing out through emotions, thoughts and feelings, causing distance and thus insecurity and thus fear and thus iratic destructive behaviors, that are the separation from what is actually physically real, as this cannot see, and thus is in ignorance of what is actually physically real.
We cannot blame anyone for these behaviors of destruction, as the primary is no longer seen, and no development of this has been given, thus all behaviors of destruction are accepted and allowed as long as we continue to be in separation from what is primary and exist within secondary relationships, as what our characters and personifications serve in separation from life, manifest as a profit based system of inequality. Inequality is a separation from what is primary, life, this that is the value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move myself as a relation only within believing myself to ONLY be a female, woman as what I have been taught will enable my survival, not having seen realized and understood what is primary, myself as life, able to exist within common sense of life, as this actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to only see myself as a personification in and as characters that support the movement of myself in separation from what is primary, which is all that is here as the physical world, the real story, the real stage, and instead create relationships as primary movers and definitions of myself and thus separating myself form life, not seeing realizing and understanding that I have become a slave as a character and personification to serve a system of self interest for survival where money determines who lives and who dies, and within this allowing myself to be ignorant of what is primary and ‘one and equal’ as all that is here on earth, which is life, thus all resources are here as life in support of life, and cannot be owned, as this ownership is a subjective secondary belief placed on what is primary, that all that is here is one and equal as the very substance of life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the imaginations in and as my mind are all in service to secondary characters ignorant of self as life, ignorant of common sense of life as what a human is as life, able to common sense what is physically here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to be what I am as life, to direct myself in self honesty with what is primary as what is equal within all that is here, which is life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that personifications, such as my religious faith, my nationality, my social “level”. my educational“level”, my family role, my gender role, my race role, if allowed to be what directs me, as what is given value within comparison and thus judgement of more than and less than, I am in separation from what is primary, the very substance of what allows me to role play, as I have allowed an idea secondary to what is primary, which is life, to direct me, and thus creating values in separation from what is real, life, and should I look at what is here, I have no idea of how what is here is/was created and thus I have no developed awareness of what is actually physically here, as I have shut down/distanced myself from/ignored/ allowed a separate thing to determine what is the primary substance of myself as a physical instrument as life here, thus I must be in total separation from life, and all that I believe myself to be as mind, -though as singular details not necessarily bad in and as themselves- it is that this definition and directive are limited and thus in separation from what is actually physically here as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that any thought i have is a product, as this is the mind, of the secondary development into and as personifications in service to divisions and thus separations into personifications and characters ignorant of what is life, as this serves the allowance of self interest within a game of survival, where limited roles serve the more than for a few, they themselves in separation from life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all emotions thoughts and feelings are thus showing me my own separation form life, and thus are the voice of fear, as this secondary object as what i project myself as, as memory as a belief in me more, serving a system that creates values of more than and less than, determining survival, is how I participate within this secondary stage place that is destructive as it ignores what is primary as it no longer is able to see what is primary, which is life, and thus ignorance is not bliss, it is destruction and abuse.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the allowance of myself as a personality and character, as the stories I tell again and again and again are the movement of myself in separation of life, as this was what was taught by parents and society within a system of inequality, ignorant of what is primary in all existent on earth as the source of what we are all one and equal to and as, and within this, this personification consumes the physical just as this system consumes this physical world as this ignorance of this primary substance ignores the nature of life, and thus does not know how to work with what is here as no common sense of what is real, physically here exists.

I commit myself to no longer utilize a character as what I am as label, as role play, to direct myself here, as I bring all this back to self, through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application, to become one and equal to and as life, through a development of common sense of life, this physical world, to take these secondary directives and realign, in oneness and equality, utilizing breath, to what is primary, the very substance of what all exist and consist in and as, which is life, one and equal to all existent on earth.

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Day 109 Castle in the Sky

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within the need for a “sounding board”, an object to sound and validate the persona of what I believe, opine and idealize.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to exist in needing an image and a character that references, through seeking likeness of myself, what validates and attends to my survival personification within a system of inequality, as the form and structure of how resources are distributed on this earth, in inequality, reflect what it is I have allowed myself to exist as within, thus - like the chicken and the egg- as in, as within so without, I exist in and as my mind in thoughts, emotions and feelings as personification in relation to my own self interests within a system of illusive guidance in separation from myself as life as equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that needing an object, such as all the newest gadgets, such as a group of like personas, such as the picture perfect relationship to be and become my “sounding board” in and as validation as what and who I am, all in separation from myself here  as life.

I forgive myself for having allowed and accepted myself to not have seen, realized and understood that in running after the carrot of personification in and as my self as characters to and towards my own survival within a system of inequality/competition/survival I have built a castle in the sky in and as my mind, and this “castle” as personification, is in separation from what is actually physically here, of myself in separation from interaction in equality and oneness with what is physically real, as what is physically real is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that any and all thoughts indicate my separation from what is here as life, indicate the personas of character I have accepted and allowed within a belief, opinion and idea, in separation from what is physically real, where I allow the resource of my human physical body to maintain my “castle in the sky” in and as my mind, that demands another “castle in the sky” to become the sounding board of myself as this personification within a system of survival/inequality/competition as the separation from what is actually physically here that is life, that is the support and resource of my “castle in the sky” composed of the personification of my characters I have accepted and allowed, built in childhood as this was what was presented by parents who learned from their parents, as I feared standing up as myself as life here, and took on the crutch of separation in and as the development of a persona as a collection of characters, directed through fear - an illusion- having no self trust as myself as life here, a physical being where what is real is this physical world, supportive as life, as the physical is life, is what supports as the images as “castle in the sky” with all the members and actions within such a system of defense, that ignore the actual physical world that is life, this that gives freely yet is bound within a illusive  signature of ownership, as the physical is the substance of life here, one and equal as life to all that is here, directly giving, where it is only man that has imposed/projected/ made huge ideas of lack/loss/insufficiency/inequality in and as a system constructed through the action of division and conquest into parts using the illusion of an invisible god/hand to justify the need for war/profit, all the details of the castle in the sky that is how earth presently exists in separation from what is actually physically real, this physical world that gives freely.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that the “real” “sounding board” is this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that myself as mind, in separation from the physical is composed of all kinds of mechanical buttons and gadgets as triggers as thoughts and emotions and feelings to direct myself within my castle in the sky and thus are my separations from what is actually physically here, are my separation from oneness in equality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I need another castle in the sky to reference my own castle in the sky.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that the constrictions I feel in my calves are secret desires as myself as the characters I have accepted and allowed within a perceived personification in union with a system of separation based on ignoring unconditional giving as what this earth is, as what I project and want to “appear” as within role play based on limited desire of a substance that is a film, thin- of no depth - when looked  and listened to- that is a protection defense mechanism within a system of inequality, as the unequal, non-supportive-of-life economic system that uses money to divide and conquer freely given resource to maintain the “more than” 1% of the humans on this earth.

I commit myself to breathing, writing, corrective application until all the ideas, beliefs and opinions in and as my mind of thought are silent.

I commit myself to entering the “play ground” of life, in and as oneness in equality with and equal to this physical world.

I commit myself to saying no to the mind, to looking at what I am accepting and allowing as thought and wants in accord with the mind to align myself in common sense with what will practically support, as the “castle in the sky” is  separation from what is physically real.

I commit myself to standing one and equal, with and as this physical world, utilizing breath, self forgiveness, writing and corrective application until it is done.

I commit myself to realizing that what upholds my “castle in the sky” is fear, an illusion in separation from common sense, where if I walk through the fear, utilizing breath, self forgiveness, writing and corrective application I will realize this earth that has always been here, as what is real, is life, the support of myself for real.

I commit myself to realizing the “reed” of the physical, as myself as the instrument of life, to resound with life in equality and oneness, walking within the principle of oneness in equality, where the sky is the sky and not a carrot on a string as a “castle in the sky.”

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Day 65 Effective Communication

Day 65 effective communication
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that effective communication between people is necessary within a relationship.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that rejection is basically a lack of effective communication.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that given the cultural indoctrinations that exist within our profit based system as a whole, and how these personifications can lead to collectively accepted assumptions where groups of people only associate with like assuming people, all based on the environment of family placement determined by the amount of money one has, the ability to communicate with people from other backgrounds and a differing set of assumptions and vocabulary can lead to misunderstandings.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that within this system, effective communication is needed to clear up assumptions, and in this process many fears can be walked through for what they are, simply a fear, and as with many fears, the fear remains hidden as exposing the fear, as a cultural norm, might suggest weakness, where this makes no sense because it is the acceptance of the fear that is the weakness.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that the fears have to be expressed and cleared up, or the communication will not be effective, and will become a game of hide and seek, which is no way to communicate.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand, that without communication between two people, what happens is that one accepts the personification of the other, and this is a form of stagnation, as personification is a limited design that does not consider the whole, as considering the whole leads to a gamut of expression that cannot exist in a singular set of assumed expressions used as a prop for self survival within a system propagates fears in needing money to survive.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that for two people to interact effectively, a clear communication and understanding of how the system of profit  on earth works must be understood and communicated to understand the very being of ourselves, otherwise what is accepted and allowed will lead to uncertainty and rejection.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that many relationships fail because there has not been effective communication, and often this is realized after the relationship no longer exists and self pity sets in, which is the being of self that caused the lack of communication in the first place, as self pity is self spite, and self blame, and so, one stewing in emotions and feelings and not actually becoming a living being effective in communication, within this it is clear that emotions and feelings are of energetic polarities based on beliefs, opinions and ideas, and that the human has accepted this stagnation as the human has not been taught to stand up and move through such eddies of emotional polarities, nor has the human the language skills to be able to communicate and thus direct themselves through emotional polarities.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that nothing can be hidden as all in known.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I attempted to communicate my fears, and to give up what I deemed was necessary as my persona, I would find that the development of my self and the fears I hold are all based on money.
i forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the emotional make up of my parents is based on their parents which is based on their parents thus is the religion within my family and culture determining my emotional make up, where I will find myself using such statements as “thank God” not realizing that this is myself giving thanks to an imaginary entity separate from what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that if I do not investigate how a profit based system works I will not have a clear understanding of how and why I do not have effective communication with others, as “others” will have incomplete ideas about how the present system works, and when two people with unclear ideas meet, and assume understanding, and voice this limited understanding, the outcome will be confusion and therefor  a lack of clear communication.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize  and understand that should I come to understand the present money system of profit, I will see, realize and understand that it is absolutely corrupt and ineffective, and thus will realize that there is no other choice but to stand up and change this system.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to look at what I am communicating daily as I interact with others, and what it is that motivated me to communicate as I do.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to watch the emotional and feeling outflow I exist as, and how these outflows are present in every word I speak, thus am i able to realize what it is that I am within what I communicate, to the point where I will realize that I exist as emotions and feelings that are separations and thus an exhibit of my fears.

I commit myself to realizing that much of the sadness I feel is based on regret that is caused by a lack of communication and thus understanding of how this world presently exists.
I commit myself to realizing the words I speak and what I am trying to communicate in and as the words i speak and the thoughts moving through my head are based on a fear of survival.
I commit myself to realizing that the words I speak and the thoughts I have moving through my mind are all geared towards the fear of survival and based on the past as the conditioning of my parents, where what is in the forefront in and as my mind, is the picture idea of what i need to survive.
I commit myself to slowing myself down, utilizing breath, and becoming aware of the words I speak, and the emotional and feeling polarities I allow myself to exist as.
I commit myself to recognizing my own regrets that are my past, where I judge myself as ineffective, and within being this judge I am within an action of self spite, and that this must be forgiven and a corrective action walked, as looking at my world as a reflection of myself, and understanding how the present profit based system works, will allow the development of effective communication within myself.

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Day 55 Consumerist sex is not physical intimacy.

Day 55 Consumerist sex is not physical intimacy.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe I must be feminine to get a man. to have a man

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe the images in and as my mind that I must dress the part of the female to get a man

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow the voice in and as my mind tell me that I am supposed to have a man.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am not attractive enough for men, which is why I do not have  a man, when I do not dress the part and men have told me I need to “dress the part” more than I do, when I feel fake when I do this.

I forgive myself for not having listened to myself when a question came up that I asked which was “why do I need to have a man.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to sometimes go and look in magazines and at other women to measure myself next to them when I feel that I am lacking something because I do not have a man, when another part of me asks myself the question, “why do I need a man.”

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have developed a persona of bitterness about not having a man, about being bitter that men as ego, want what supports their ego and I am bitter about this when i feel that I am not seen, not having realized that the being of self as ego sees only its own desire, which is superficial, and even if having some “depth” is still ego and the nature of ego is to see only its limited idol as idea, a picture presentation of no insight and thus what is here will never match the image as idea as idol as picture in and as the representation of ego, built by accepted and allowed ideas according to culture, race, class, money, fear, envy, idea, self personification.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see how limited the mind is in fact, how it has nothing to do with common sense of this physical world, and in its very limitation in total separation from life, thus from self as life, and thus, with such a man, there can be no consideration of self as life, and so no consideration or enjoyment of myself as a woman and how my human physical body works and thus no sexual enjoyment, as the man will move as image, watching his dick move, avoiding intimacy physically, wanting the radio on, being absent after sex as the seeing of himself as what has been accepted and allowed as himself would be too overwhelming, as if to allow vulnerability would mean he was no longer a manly man, which means the man is so in his ego head, the female cannot possibly have a fulfilling sexual experience, so ego sex is meaningless and useless and not worth the effort of time as it is not real, and will show up with the appearance of herpes sores on the mouth, as herpes is an indication of mind sex.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that physical intimacy with myself , becoming aware of myself physicall,y necessitates the company of a man.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that physical intimacy has nothing to do with any image, any idea, any combination of man, or image, of outside “thing” as being intimate with myself as being aware, one and equal to my self as my human physical body has nothing to do with the way sex is presented by the consumerist society.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that when I stand and stare at a woman or a man, and “fluff” myself up like a rooster, I am in fact abusing that object I allow to create desire in and as my human self, as my thoughts are real, and to project as my mind ideas and desires for another is to abuse the life that is me, and the life I re-view through and as my mind, as I render the object less than life, and turn the physical life into a picture to titillate myself in and as the idea of my self as my mind, thus is the very existence of myself as mind/picture desire/want/and need abuse of life, and limitation of myself into obsession and possession of image, and image is separation from this physical world, as simple and as plain as that, in all common sense, thus mind is an addiction separate from this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to ask my self how this image in and as my mind is being generated, where this image in and as my mind must use something to generate its “lights,” just as a television needs something to generate images, so does my mind, and that perhaps it is my human physical body that generates this mind imagery, this separation from being directive with the ability of my human physical body to sense directly, and that this separation into mind imagery is perhaps consuming my human physical body, just as the tele consumes electricity, where my human physical body actually also has an electrical flow, and that perhaps this is how the images in and as my mind are generated, thereby sucking my human physical body dry, turning my hair white, bending my back, wrinkling my skin until I am old and immobile, all because I followed false images of one dimension in and as my mind, images collected and built by a world believing mind imagery to be real, where all I leaned was to memorize and follow the mind and not to use and be one and equal to my human physical body here, in and as breath, where it will take an effort to clean up the image shit I have collected throughout my self, and thus to clean up the very being of myself here as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that if I had satisfactory sex, then I would not need to be obsessed and possessed with needing to have sex, and thus that there is so much image display pertaining to sex all over this world, the human is clearly not satisfied sexually.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to realize that just as with sexual imagery and thus energy within as pictures generated to stimulate, so too am I an image maker when I worry about the future, when I fear my neighbor, when I move my self in and as beliefs and ideas about what I need be, as image to survive, as it is all based on personification and thus image, followed in and as mind, which means I am generating conscious imagery, just like a television, and if I were to look I would find these images mimic what exists as propagated by the consumerist world, a world that has no consideration for this earth, a world that stages world meetings and events in the name of problem resolution, yet the abuse of earth continues and there is another staged event, which clearly shows that the “staged” events for world peace, or environmental concerns are in fact just a drama to placate those concerned and the masses because if actual physical change occurred, then there would not be a need for another staged problem acknowledgement and resolution event, so evil is the nature of a profit based system.

I commit my self to stopping my mind of imagery through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application, to stop the television show in and as my mind.

I commit myself to realizing that the moment I find myself in a alternate reality day dream of comparison that I have become addicted to the images in and as my mind, and that chemically my body is habituated to the chemistry of my highs and lows associated with gain and loss within a profit based system that has developed a consumerist society.

I commit my self to stopping the accepted and allowed television in and as my mind, as it turns me into a machine that makes me equal and one to what is presently allowed on this earth, as the earth is being consumed without consideration for this physical world, in and as ways that sustain and use what is here in common sense of how this physical world works, within this, just as this earth is being consumed, so is my human physical body.

I commit myself to stopping the mind and bringing myself back to my human physical body, to walk in common sense with and as the physical, to direct myself one and equal to the physical, as what is best for all is best for self one and equal to the physical, and then to stand within the directive principle of what is best for all, as in giving as one would like to receive, as in loving my neighbor as myself, to begin to create a world that includes this physical earth and all that is here equal and one as life.

I commit myself to remaining vigil, in and as breath, as remaining vigilant in and as breath is, in placing myself here, holding a vigil to life as there is no other choice.

I commit myself to exposing how the consumerist hype reflects the personification of myself in and as the image and response - as back chat- as my mind that is myself in separation of life, a limited design that has not included this physical world.

I commit myself to voicing  how the beliefs propagated by profiteering broadcasters have no common sense of this physical world and are in fact contrary to this physical world, so evident in the abuse that exists on this earth, to soil, plant, animal, human, air, water, organisms, life, that there is no other choice but to stop this physical human walking in an alternate reality in and as their minds, where what the human seeks is oneness and equality with this earth, to actually physically live, where the solution is to become one and equal to the physical, to birth life into and one with the physical.

I commit my self to reading self forgiveness blogs for twenty one days, and to suspend everything I believe, to stand back to look, to see, to watch, the behavior of myself and the people I am directly involved with, to stand back and to breath, to watch the news, to pay attention to events internationally, and locally, to stand back and suspend what I am, using breath, to look objectively at what is here, to begin to realize the patterns and separations existent on earth that when viewed begin to have myself developing questions, where the questioning is myself realizing that there is a lack on common sense being utilized in this world, where I can clearly see the desteni message is a description of what I am, and that this is the proof, easy for me to see realize and understand and thus validate for myself, as the message is of common sense as life, and this is what I am if I stop and breath and allow myself to be this, as this is here, and not the mind.

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