Showing posts with label breath. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breath. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

What is the truth? What is truth? Day 766

The process of what one does and moves as and focuses on is the process of self forgiveness. It means to realize how we move within ourselves and what effects that movement of the part as the person and what forms that person, does in this physical reality. As all parts effect the whole. The sum of the parts composes the whole. One must consider the whole and the effects one has on the whole when making a choice.

if our children are placed in a box for 13 years, on average and are told to memorize a story, is there any real practice on the whole? No, there is  a practice on a story told by observers about something, which can never be the real thing and becomes a picture about something because that is, no matter how close, never the real thing.  It is a design that is not working and because of the simplicity of the creation of practicing a non- real relationship with the whole that one is a naturally a part of, a separation from reality is the outcome. We see this in the growing ill-ness or dis-ease through the label we lend to the problem as cognitive disorders and processing disorders. Thus we have the capacity to see, we see the default and yet are so self involved from the same background, that we have no real spatial ability to see the movement of all the parts and what our effects as the choices we make, create. 

Inherent in the accepted design of our schools is the inherent separation from reality in the adults. I saw a video yesterday where a child was talking to cat, and what heard the child saying is something like, we are looking here, seeing here, we are not looking at the pictures. In walking time lines of and as how I created my own separation from reality, a memory comes up that astounds me, it was so buried and yet a part of that memory remains with me, even though I could not remember the exact memory. I was in a moment as a child, where i had realized that I had created something that was with me, that would have to process through me. I was upset about it and did not want to move through it. A pattern that has remained with me. That one thought of not wanting this to happen again, in a way developed an avoidance of interacting in ways that created the same scenario. It is a root movement into indignation, as indignation is not wanting to dig into something. Being in such a state is a constant protection, which becomes a distraction, or a lack of focus on this reality, causing a separation as so much of what is here is missed. The consequences of such a separation can only grow insecurity as so much of what is real is missed. It is a math, it is visible.

We see this on the world stage, where there is so much conflict between nations and between many factions, even down to the municipal level. We have a war for resources to reform them in the guise of good and yet the earth has become so polluted that cancer in the last decade kills more children than what was the previous number one killer of children which was by accident. In the law of compounding effects, all those supposed ‘ no significant differences’ as the choices made to practice, have accumulated and are now effecting the most innocent, destroying their life before it is even begun. 

We are using resources to form some idea about how life should be instead of realizing how life is. What did we expect when we followed stories instead of practical reality as the physical? Did it start with forcing agricultural practices that did not move in tandem with the physical? Is the whole permaculture movement about moving back to working with nature instead of forcing her into some monopolistic model, which is telling of the problem in the first place? Is monoculture the model of efficiency that we have been told, as storied information accepted and allowed to be sold to is that it is? 

If our public schools by design are a narrowing of focus into a limited narrative, then what is religion overall but a distraction of a story of information separate from the physical and practical reality. When a nation believes that some god said a land was their people’s land even thought the obvious is right in front of those people that they are all the same, they eat and defecate just like all the animals, why do we not see the delusion if information before reality?  We believe the story of information told to us, as we become the program of the information told to us, as story that is a distraction from reality, that we have made the story larger than life, even to the detriment of our children, those that have no story within them and when the resonance of the past as what was generated and accepted and allowed before them, comes up, do they understand how to recognize it, and does it too compound causing cancer coming from that past as mis-information that is a story line separate from this practical and physical reality? It is a much better and more sound explanation that any of the corpus of information sold via stories told in a box away from practical reality. 


All the conflict on this earth is the battle for the mind via mis-information, via false stories that ignore the practical and physical reality that is the means of life, that is life information. And it is right here in front of us. 

What is a truth? Try holding your breath, and see what happens. Thus the physical reality, the one thing we are allowing ourselves to be distracted from, is what is real. We are all the same. 

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

More on Bringing it Back to Self Day 737

Bringing it back to self.

I am looking at the means justifying the ends. Reviewing this.

I realize that what I aggrandize, as make huge, like an elephant in the room, is what I attend to, as focus on. Is this in self interest, as a relationship of protecting what I define myself within as who I am?

It can be such a narrow focus on a few values, where at the exclusion of all things, as a cross reference, I am lost in a tunnel vision of my own command, my own imagination, my ownership of perspective, my owned borders. Self selected programming. A lie-by-omission.

Within doom and gloom, or, worst case scenarios, I realize this is the choice, because it is always a choice, I can take an extreme, create a fantasy as a hypothetical, as hyperbole, and believe that this is the center of this universe, forgetting all that is me, practically as I am physical first and foremost- my resource -  and project this onto everything, thereby believing that what I compose in my imagination is real. I become my own constructed illusion. And, I forget who I really am, I no longer ‘ know thy self’ and as a consequence am in a distraction, a business of limited insight. 

This causes conflict with my real self. This manifests as friction, or a clash with reality. This separation is colored by a belief that I am a superman, and why does no one else see this? I ask myself in my ego, my idealistic self.

I abandoned my own self worth, as me, as all of me, as the organism that allows me expression. When I am calm and problem solve, with effective actions, my whole temper is more insightful and connected to reality. I quantify greater measures of information,  and move with greater practicality, instead of projecting a myopic story of blame as only seeing a default, often something unkempt that I fear becoming. I end up using fantasy, as a worst case scenario to justify rejecting something instead of realizing what is an innate capacity to compose. Meaning, an innate capacity to see correction via problem solving within practical outlined steps of what builds a constancy that does no harm. This means standing up through my own mental projections and grounding myself in this reality. I mean, in all common sense, what are the elements of a garden growing? The simplicity is astounding and very cool. 

I am looking at the idea - because this is words on a page- of ‘ know thyself.’  I will place this next to the idea of a superman, so-called ‘ master of industry.’  Knowing self is powerful, it is knowing who and what one is, which is to acknowledge the physical world, and the practical steps necessary in real time, within completing a task. This would lead to effective action, and thus success, especially in a world where so many do not reference themselves because of a distraction into a heaven ideal. And yet, to know thyself means being practical, leading to becoming super effective. Somehow, becoming super effective has been made fantasy as the idea of a superman, which technological media can make appear to be real, causing a imaginative picture show of the possibility of great feats in physical time. Here, one is caught in a distraction so easy to quickly play out in the imagination getting a sense of being good, a chemical high and nothing else. Thus, a myopic focus, that happens in a quantum moment, becoming every moment. This is a de-manning ( demon) of self, sending a tie-me/ time dream elevated up there in the mind, un grounding the presence in reality. Thus, the equation of a truth, to pull one in, and a dream to tie one down in a fantasy that by design is a separation from real power, as that simple act of knowing the real score as self as a physical self, where things get done in real space.  The imaginative hyperbole is used after a truthful statement filled with promise, draws one in. This weakens the heart, or the essence of self. It is an imperfect practice of and as the instrument of life as the physical self.

So-called ‘ masters of industry’ simply practice real organization of the organ as the physical, meaning the resources of this earth, into industry, meaning they order the physical and real organ. Yet, unless they do so, ensuring no harm to any living thing, they too are not completely grounded in reality.  All the degrees of separation as each human as the degree of separation from practical physical reality,  can cause a competition that consists of following a dream that has been allowed to be larger-than-life as a focus that is different yet same, by subtle degree , as that equation of a truth coupled with a fantasy. That fantasy composed of inflamed values that are actions of excluding practical values that exist in balance in physical symbiotic nature, this earth. Even this earth at the moment, is less than its potential, as the very waters of existence are not evenly distributed in a balanced and effective act of sustaining what is here. Have a look, do we not use water to balance temperature, is this means not constructed? Yet, this may be too big of a jump, myself using hyperbole that may have some truth.  I am the product of such a system, I have to practice being simple and stop the holywood game within me. 

We may organize something in our daily lives. For example, I may, and have done this, rearrange my furniture after living in a home for a while. One day, I assess my home and have a ‘ vision’ of  changing the furniture arrangement. I assess it, imagine it ( okay- and correct use of the imagination) and move to physically rearrange. I may even change up the idea, and change the change as I move through the practical action of my idea/image. Afterwards, I stand and look at my re-creation and have a sense of satisfaction of ‘ pride’ in my capacity to do, even when on a simple scale such as this. I have become a ‘ master’ of my own industry within the dimensions of where I am at. I can enjoy this moment, without aggrandizing it, using it to make myself ‘ more’ than another, etc.. It is a simple act that I took to improve the space in which I live. 

In another dimension, I may have decided to take care of what I have as refurbish it, rearrange it to allow an environment of greater ease, as a solution, instead of going out and purchasing a whole new set of furniture because I have an idea that this is a solution, and because, to some degree, all-new-things, is somehow more fashionable, as it would be, in a consumerist society. I have had a sense that simply caring for what I have and rearranging it, is somehow counter intuitive to supporting this society. Thus, my pride as the simple self action, is colored with some guilt, a strange mix within me. Yet, that is the point of the ‘ superman’ layered story of colored, or polarized values, as such things so readily happen within me.  I forget enjoyment of the simple action of organizing as being present with what is here.  That pull into an extreme, as using a value judgement formulated without regard for effective and harmless actions that are enjoying a moment only, are impulsing me away from practicality and respect for the physical world that functions in simple terms. This pull into an idea of value, in my imagination, can go both ways, into a negative self definition or a positive self definition, either/or not realizing the simple enjoyment of organizing an organism as the physical. This physical being the means of everything I am.  Hard to see such simplicity with an overblown imagination moving counter to an innate ability to be the practice of  common sense. 

Thus, our ‘ masters of industry’ simply have a greater focus on the practical, and some can say, the means to move things around in the greater whole, which is why, resource acquisition is what our labor supports, even in giving to a church, that very standard of distracting through inner scaffolding, or scripting of information towards a belief in some greater life after this real life, this physical life, a life that would be creation, because being physical is creation manifest.  The thing we put energy into, as fighting, for resource, is revelatory of what is most real, as the physical. The time we spend as ideas, as stories of information in our imaginations, a quick and fast moving story where we live success in an instant, creating a false pride, is a mis-use of ourselves as life. It is that what we are, is so out of balance, and so habituated, the means using pieces of who and what we are, is so right in front of us, we will be astounded that we never saw this. Hopefully, it will happen before it is too late. There is a point of no return, a cancel of real life, as what cancer is and does.  

The solution is to breath, to slow way down and begin to see the patterns of deception, the patterns of de-ce-ption, the patterns of imagination superimposed on reality as an inner scaffold of ideas that is a bias made of aggrandized values in both directions, the bad and the good, as the negative that moves into a positive - the positive being a double consistently-practiced negative which is a giving up of self into the imagination. With moving focus into breathing, one begins to build a greater sense of self in relation to the whole of this reality. Then, is the work that turns into play, as sorting this all out and birthing self back into what is more natural, reordering the self, re-organizing the self - back into, and away from a scattered through a lie-by-omission self smothered in imagination as a false script filled with truths and colored with extremes - equal and one to what is the real universe, as the physical, where real creation happens. 


Real mastery is the realization that there are no masters, and there are no slaves. Real mastery respects all things, taking that which is good and does no harm. This is done right here, in the moment.  Use your imagination correctly, imagine walking down any street, through any wood, over any bridge, and having the space to admire this creation being in an effective and supportive and expansive order, where all children can walk wherever they want, without fear and with an open mind, learning to create, taking that which is good and does no harm. Is this not what we all want. Listen for it, it is there, it is under the illusion, and it is what we all desire. Slow down and breath. No one can do this, it takes all of us. The means is within us, each and every one. All the kings men, and all the king’s horses cannot put us back together again, What is cool is that it is natural for us to do this. 





Thursday, November 19, 2015

Day 659 Stopping Imagination to realize the value of being present.

I woke up in the morning And I noticed that I readily went into my imagination. I had to stop.

It is like a pull into something to do, to be. Behind which one can create an outcome that allows one to win in one’s mind. And it has nothing to do with being here. It has nothing to do with reality, the physical.
It is like running down some hole, that spins, like a vortex. One can jump from one to another, and end up in total separation from reality.

And it lacks the ease that comes with doing. Like when one stands on a stage in a hall, and fills the space with sound - understand’s one is doing this, and realizes it is cool and can be played with, like paint on a canvas- I suppose. Yet here I try and think through metaphor what the difference is between doing and imagining.

If the hall were not there, how could I enjoy what the sound does? In this, I need the physical world. What is happening in my mind when I am focused, within paying attention to what the sound I make is doing, is a silence.

There have been times when I played, and I was so in fear of what others would think, or so in fear that I would make a mistake, that my attention was more on the lack, on this potential of missing something, and all the possibilities of that missing, that I had no awareness of what the sound I was making was doing as it moved out into the room. My presence was on an imagination within me, composed of  an idea of lack, instead of being present with the physical and assessing, in this instance, how the sound I made with the instrument was moving in the space that I was in.

Fear is a fickle thing, one can go into it and find there is nothing of any real substance there; on the other side there is nothing, because imagination is but a film in the mind, meaning, a film of a limited story, it is not what is real thus it has no real form. If men  believe imagination  to be more real than the physical, the behaviors become of the film, and not of the reality, and the film is then imposed on the physical, in thought, word and deed. This is where harming the physical comes in, because imagination is forcing itself onto reality, the physical. Imagination is not bad, it is just this, imagination. It is a means to double check something, and nothing else. The physical must always be cross referenced.

It is like the Matrix movie, yet men are walking around with the bubble around their heads, not yet in a literal womb-bubble. In the matrix the physical has been forced into supporting an imaginative world, to generate electricity. We are not there yet, we still have some animals and trees and grasses left. In the Matrix, there are none of these things, the physical landscape is dead of that kind of life, that formation. Yet if we realize how much we have moved into watching screens, then we an see where we are going. 

The irony is that we want to remember ourselves to the physical world, because being creators with the physical, has an ease that imagination cannot when made more real than reality as the physical world. When one is moving with the physical world one is in full focus, full employment as the physical, where creation becomes manifested, where one would only choose what does no harm, because one harms the very thing one needs to hear how that sound moves in that space as that hall- so to speak. The imagination cannot have the application and response that a physical form can have.  We abdicate responsibility when we decide that our imaginations are greater than reality as the physical world. What we have in the world today is each abdicating life for their imaginations, causing a fear of common sense, because common sense shows who accepted imagination over life. Common sense of the physical reality, which means no single movement of blame and spite, is what self as life really is. This is giving unto another as one would have given unto themselves- understanding what directs in practical ways.

My body is an instrument. For this to be in full employment, I must realize that the physical world is what is real. This comes before imagination, hence it is to re-member myself equal and one with the physical world. Instead I have learned to float in imagination, to place my presence, into imagination instead of learning to focus myself here, respecting the means of myself as the physical world.

It is interesting to see that when I have approached something  with an inflated value within myself, meaning that I was not present in my experience, the next time I am in that same space, what I previously allowed as a judgement ( which is what an inflated value is) is still there, until it is not! This means that I must forgive what measures I focused on that were not myself focusing on what is real, as the physical world that is here, right in front of me. In other words, one could say, I lacked real presence. I missed the life that was real, practical, a gift.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from reality, from the physical in every breath, from being present here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the imagination in and as my mind consciousness is more than the physical reality surrounding me that is me, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to answer to the pull of my accepted and allowed information in and as my mind to become the consequence of separation from reality, the means of myself as life in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, play the savior in and as my imagination in and as my mind, to believe that I am a winner, motivated by the alternative of a fear of loss, a fear of worst case scenario outcome, thereby missing the practical real measure of the physical world that is me, without which I am not in full employment of myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear making a mistake

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must compete to win.

I forgive myself  for accepting and allowing myself for not focusing myself here, in respect of reality as the physical, enjoying creation, as the means of my existence here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine worst case scenarios, instead of becoming what I am, as my ability to sense reality, being within this the directive principle of life, which is the presence of myself here, focused on reality, and within this, realizing that around me are hued men, who seek self responsibility as life, meaning equality and oneness with and as the physical world here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to breath in every moment, to assess myself in every moment, as I have accepted and allowed an imagination to become larger than life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I believe real living is impossible, I am in the memory of my past, as having believed what measure I accepted and allowed within my imagination, and the consequence therein, is how reality works, that I am only capable of mistakes on reality, a distraction from being responsible here, as this is only more imagination, filled with self blame, hence I slow myself down and I breath, and I ground myself here, equal and one to being present in the practical measure of what is here in this moment, to ground myself into the means of living, as the physical world, to enjoy placing my presence here, to become equal and one to the sound of life, here.

When and as I find myself moving into a presence of fear, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that I am moving into my past in blame and idea of doom and gloom, as a picture show in and as my imagination only, a polarized version that is not equal to the practical as the measure of the physical world,  and I stop, I place myself here, to walk the next step  here.


When and as I find myself weighed down within and as my movement here, as my physical I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down to see realize and understand how I have programmed myself to sense reality around me, to instead ensure that I am present and aware of what is real around me, and not a limited measure of idea that I have allowed to direct me time and again, a measure as energy/judgement I accepted and allowed, that started with the small and accumulated into how I direct myself to exist as a presence in and as a mind consciousness instead of real presence cross referencing with every breath life that is physical and here.




Monday, March 23, 2015

Day 613 Presence as mind only or presence as Equality to life? Which is the choice of freedom?

When I am playing in a Chamber group, I have to listen to all the parts, and the whole, like I am the parts and thew whole. Depending on where I sit, I also have to pay attention to the movement of the bow of the section leader and/or person in front of me, because the bow can also tell/show me the measure of what is being played in relation to the whole, kind of like the bow can be another metronome ( nominal meter/measure) of space and time within the context of playing. 
In so many ways, this is the same action as learning how to walk; it is sensing this world, the physical space of this actual real physical world. Our ability to see this directly informs the very ‘ measure of us, here. In all common sense, because of this, we can really only be here because this is where we are - mental simulations or not, -we can, because we are here, only be here. In the end this is us living life, respecting it.
I was at a meeting last night, and I found myself getting tense. My left leg and my chest were tensing up. It all started to hurt, as I sat in a chair and talked/interacted with the people present in body/mind in the space. 
A lot of the talk was about health.  In tandem with this talk about what we eat, was talk about being positive. One woman said that since she has taken more care of what she eats, she notices that she is more aware of her environment. I am not in her head, so I cannot know what experiences she had to justify this are true or not true. What I noticed more, was that she never really said anything, everything was about being positive, and such statements about how much she noticed her environment, without any real explanation as to what precisely that meant in any intimate detailed way. Making a statement that one is noticing their world more, only, reveals nothing about what that means. Collectively the group becomes this kind of stagnate awe, and I start to get tense, because I feel that I am having to accept something, to agree, without really knowing what is meant because it is not made clear with any sense of detail. I mean, some general statement of “ being more aware of the environment” really is not saying anything when only these words are presented. If I accept this, then what I am accepted is an idea without any real practical defining/clarification in detail. I move more into assumption or embarrassment because I have not had this experience. And yet, how do I know if i have had this or not if it is not clarified and only accepted as a statement? This is acceptance without investigation, without practice, it is a conceptual end game/name.
I notice the quiet in the group, evident in that no one asks for clarification as to what that meant in detail. Some just remain silent, some smile and place an expression of awe on the faces. Since this was a group of people involved in health, I realize that each had a desire to become healthy, and were ‘ dreaming’ of becoming healthy. I mean, this is cool to want to become more aware of one’s body, which taking the time to consider what one places in their body, is cool because it is a step in the direction of becoming more self responsible. This imagining “ becoming” healthy” only, is another way to self realize our own stagnate conceptual ability, so slow is the movement within, and yet, we learned to walk, to crawl, which meant conceptualizing in a direct way, building a structural awareness that directed in efficient and effective ways, which is our capacity, yet somehow we begin to move as molasses and get stuck in slow motion, where the motions are not bad and our capacity to inform on a another is diminished as awe as behavior, like an excitement, becomes us. In science, excited states can create chemical reactions within that we can become addicted to,  and the “ more’ in idea only, becomes a form of entertainment within, and we feel good because we have allowed this heightened inner sense to define us, but there is always a crash, and then the struggle begins. This inner polarized emotional/feeling state over practical application, which is being here, equal and one in practice of being physical, is making the within greater than the without. This is separation from the value being life, where this value is respected, thus the physical world is respected as life.
Overall, this in total shows how much one can get caught in an idea, and not question things, because the idea has become like an idol in one’s head, like an obsession that is so much as self interest that being present here, and asking questions in detail about what another means in practice  is seldom if ever walked through. It is a stagnate state of expressing, where presence here to and with the parts and the whole as the “ music” of the space of here, is not ‘ played’ with, is not cross referenced, is not made intimate. The irony is, if we opened up with one another beyond such statement of “ I am more aware of my environment”  we could all learn from looking outward in equal measure to what we are within. We are really only, most of the time, conceptualizing in our heads only, without opening up and sharing, in detail, with the environment around us. Because of this, we live outwardly statements that have no real clarification. In other words we do not really come here, we do not really bring our presence here, thus we are not really living here. Most of our lives are spent in our heads.
Meanwhile, I am getting tense, and as this is myself on a journey to life, because I am the one who has to do this, as no one can do this for me, I have to stop myself from going into judgment and slow down, breath, ground myself here. My own tension, is because I am judging, I am looking at the measure within this group, the measure of presence being focused within, via the words that are not very descriptive, and how I, as a socially accepted behavioral measure, must remain within the group as the measure of my own expression. I do speak up, at times, but I also realize to jump from statements of general ideas, to intimate details, can be too much of a sudden change of measure. What do you think moving through the eye of the needle means? It means to conceptually be fluid in being able to move in space here, in this physical world, even understanding the form and flow of our present system,. If we really look at it, we will see that it really makes no sense in terms of supporting life. And life is the value.
When I get tense, I am within my own ideas about what should be, how to bring what I believe into the measure of the moment.  If I am not aware of how a person becomes the very measure of insight as what they are, as their focus within on ideas, because the within is a measure of reality which is an idea about reality, and what is going on without, as this actual physical world in its movement and measure in detail, meaning the way the very minerals and other components exist in this space of reality, then I cannot really be aware of here, I am not really present, I cannot move in sync with the whole, just as I am when playing in a musical group. I have to be aware of the time and space length, duration, intensity, physical movement of things etc. to remain in the measure as the piece in total! So, playing in a musical group, is like how life should be lived! 
A  note - so to speak, is a unit, a measure that builds,  it is the focus here, here, here , here, as the physical world, that brings the ease, because the measure of the whole as self being this within, is what focuses self as life to become equal to the very volume of life as everything, because the physical is as much life as what is going in inside the head ONLY. When statements are made, and oggled at, without developing the understanding in detail within the whole, one is really living in mind only, so conceptually, ones moving within in a very limited con-text as mind, and is not equal to life, because life would not divide into ignoring some aspects, it would accept all aspects and move and breath and interconnect as one, each separate part moving as one, each individual expression moving as one, and for this, each part must be present, equal within to the without, as the physical.  Thus, the system of inequality on earth, is a crime against life. Each member of this orchestra of life, must be, in presence measure, listening to the whole and the parts, developing an awareness of the outer and the inner measure of this world as self within and the physical without and the systems we have accepted and allowed that are the measure of having lived within without reference to the without as the physical as being of equal import as who and what we are, where nothing is more than another because each part expresses life. A socially engineered .system of hierarchy that suppresses the presence of life within will not work, because it does not give the space and time for the presence within all things to be the response of life as what each is. Such a system cannot and will not work, no words of justification, no one sided touting will  change this, no armies bullying an idea from some centralized dictate will change this, it simply cannot be done because it is not the nature of life.  In this, we all need one another to be present in equal measure to the space without and the space within - so to speak.  This can only happen here, in this moment. Our memories must be equal to here, of equal measure in focus to here. 
Meanwhile, back to myself again. lol. It is not that looking at this, in measure, that is the problem within myself, it is where I allow myself to become upset about it, because becoming upset is not being present in the measure and expanding that measure to become a balanced within and without equality. This is me realizing what I have done, as I have not really lived life because I was the same, which was being an end game as mind only so much of my life. When I react to this emotionally. I allow this to bother me as though it is some great injustice. And being this state of being as thinking this is some great injustice, I am no different than the women who becomes an awe about some idea without taking the time to consider in practice what such a statement made by another really mans in practice.   And this is the solution, to slow down, to realize the measure of self within, and to bring focus and presence awareness to the without world as the physical - within and without - where the dis-ease is also the within presence not being aware of itself in detail within!  And within this to realize the separation because one has to correct a practice of separation, and bring this back down to earth, ground this here because one can only hear what is going on in practice, in expression, here. One has to take that presence ability to measure space , and relate to the physical and self, as this is respecting all life.
My tension is myself inferior to life and it is me rushing within to judge as a point of superiority, as in all common sense, the only thing that can be done in such a situation is to begin to walk the presence of self back into the measure of awareness of the inner beingness being focused here to the outer world as the physical. The hierarchies as the mind, are what separates and creates the existential system imposed on the physical by men, without. It is a system that forces separation and it is here because each of us has believed that what imagery we hold within is more that what allows that imagery to exist, which is the physical world. Thus, our present system cannot work, no touted words using the means of life as sound are going to make it work, it simply cannot work by design. Like the mind, in each , the signs of hierarchy into inequality  are disrupting the physical, and the outcome is as the story of the bible, one that ends in total annihilation of life. Period. 
In this situation, I cannot react, I can only journey myself back to life, to inform myself equally within to the without, the above to the below to stand as two or more in the name of life as the substance of the physical, as cross referencing the physical world in ways that do no harm, to remain stable in respect of this, yesterday, today and tomorrow, as this is giving as I would receive, which is the equation in word of equality and oneness, which is being here, listening here to reality, being respectful and gracious of the life that is me, without, walking the practice of being in equal measure to all things which is consideration of all things.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as idea only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to a measure of awareness within expressed in words, in statements, not seeing realizing and understanding that I can understand this, as it does not define me, and as such I can accept the measure here, to understand and then forgive that measure through bringing it back into practical application as what would ground in understanding here as respecting the physical world which means looking at the sound, the form, the function of the actual physical world, and the systems accepted and allowed that miimic limitation that must come to support all life as being the value, which begins with myself here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself into ideas as mind only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge, to punish a measure of presence in another, to believe that this is separate from me, to not see, realize and understand that this is a measure, a volume of presence and that the solution within this, is to equalize in awareness of physical reality, in all the measures of space here, as length, duration, intensity, volume, quality, tempo, to become the presence of self absorbing here, this reality as being life, realizing that this is the definition of being life because life would be a structure that expresses as what the physical world is.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to statements that are not followed through in detail, and to within this, judge the statement and the person making the statement as less, not seeing realizing and understanding that this is me in another live as awareness of the measure of the expression of life in form, and the informed within and as mind.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how when I judge and become a reaction in any way, I am separating from practical application of living and  by the default as mind only, moving into energy as polarizing into values of more than and less then to justify, which is not being practical here, equal and one to the measure of life in expression, as creation as the physical world here, the way and the means of life in expression, the way and the means of creation here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an energy of superiority, judging the limitations of presence locked in idea only, as being less than myself, as this is not what I would want from another for myself, thus I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become as that which I judged, to label another as less, not seeing realizing and understanding the measure of the presence of life, and modeling/living/practicing that which grounds here, into equal consideration of all life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear change, to fear the change, the segue process in movement within into equalizing presence to the without as the physical world, as there is nothing to judge within and as this, as in every moment it is to consider all things and to take that which is good, to ground oneself here, and to within this, see, realize and understand that in every moment this is in so many ways a reciprocal action as the without reveals the very measure of myself within.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have expectations, which is my within separating from the without, as ignoring the gift of myself as life to sense with the presence of myself as life, as self, the space and movement and measure of here as the physical as creation, where I stand equal and one in walking my presence as grounding myself here, with creation, within and as that which does not harm, using the means of expression, as word and deed, ensuring that my thoughts are a cross reference to here, as the physical world, respecting life and realizing within this that the separation from life as the minds of men, exists because of what has been accepted and allowed, thus, as life, it is to model life, which requires no judgement, and to be thankful that when and as I move into judgement, the energy of this, that which is unsound, becomes a movement within and as me as my human physical body being unbalanced and in a state of dis-ease, meaning lacking the ease of focus here, without judgement, as the self equal and one in full volume of and as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have had thoughts to and towards limited statements within and as my mind, such as “ this in incredibly ignorant” or, ‘ why does this woman not see that she is not really saying anything” or “ how the hell am I supposed to deal with this” 
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into emotions of believing that the process of journeying myself into life, here, is impossible.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to suppress myself, as in tensing up in my chest area and in my left leg, not wanting to look at my own self interested desires, wants and needs based on ideas, that I  have allowed to have me behave in superior ways which is not modeling, expressing living here, equal and one in measure of consideration of physical reality, as this is life in expression here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am not good enough and that I am a failure within and as creating a change where others recognize themselves as life in physical formation here, when I have walked this process for some time and realize that it is a journey of resounding self back into grounding oneself here equal and one with and as the physical world, thus all I can do is practice walking into becoming equal and one with reality, which is to ground myself here, in consideration of what does no harm to the physical and as such considers all things.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire recognition through myself here, when the greatest gift is to allow another the self discovery of self as life, as this is the strongest measure of standing as life here, because it is giving as one would want to receive, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to punish myself based on having ideas about how things should move, which is a separation within from being present here, walking the practice of respect for all life as the physical, which is to walk into the moment to become the solution of considering all things and taking that which is good and does no harm here.

When and as I find myself becoming tense within and as me, I slow myself down, I breath, I ground myself here, I forgive the judgmental measure within and as me as a movement within as rejection of some quality that I make a bad because I fear it defining me, and I accept that and I look at what I want to ‘ push’ onto the situation as a movement within, where there is a sucking like a pulling to push a value as an idea out to grab the attention of others onto that which I want to validate within and as me, as this is where I project blame onto another, or spite the measure in protection of myself as mind, as belief, as idea, and I stop,, breath, forgive the thoughts, the movement of myself within that is of energy, racing, desiring, based on limited insight, not being equal to here, and I resound the parts and the whole, to become the resounding of the physical world, something that will take time, as this was not learned, though this was self that learned to crawl, to walk, as this is the way as myself as the gift of life into equality and oneness with creation, accepting all life, which means to accept the physical world, which means to bring heaven to earth, to exist in equality and oneness to and as life here.

When and as I find myself becoming tense, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I investigate the actual physical quality of what is here, to understand practical purpose, of the physical, to realize what would be a movement that does no harm, that considers all things, to ground myself here, to begin the practice of moving through the eye-of-the-needle to equalize myself to life through cross reference, investigation of here as physical means of life and the practice thereof, to begin a journey to become a steward of this earth, this home, this that is me in another form, the physical.

When and as I find myself having the thought that this is too much, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and see realize and understand that though it may be too late for earth because the separation from self as life within and as mankind, I see , realize and understand that the only solution, no matter what, is to walk myself, to journey myself back into equality and oneness with and as life here as the real living ease that we all seek, is to ground ourselves here, equal and one to build a memory that sees directly here, equal and one with and as the physical world here.
When and as I find myself tensing up within and as my chest and left leg, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see realize and understand that the sense of me as life, is a presence that is so able by nature to move through the eye of the needle, as the physical, to sense form and function, just as the presence of myself can hear the parts and the whole of the music within a group, something that can develop with time, and can begin to move exponentially if one focuses here, as this is the nature of self as life, just as the nature of a child can learn to crawl and to walk, such is the greatness of the movement of life here, as men will be creative and inventive as can be seen with all the technologies that develop practices that are less abusive to this earth, such as solar power, such as eating healthy nutrient dense foods, such as allowing children to interact directly with the greatest technology that exists which is the actual real physical earth world here, all of which means that we can order this earth in ways that support all life, where no matter where our children walk, they encounter no harm, which is what we would have wanted for ourselves.

When and as I find myself having the thought that another is limited, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess the measure of belief, and I investigate the actual real physical world here, and I share my own investigations as suggestions about information that I understand, or am beginning to understand to ask the questions as to what are we not seeing realizing and understanding within a practical physical reality, as this is the carrier of ourselves here as life,

When and as I find myself losing my breath, as iN breathing without ease, as in breathing in an erratic way, I stop and I slow way down, and ground myself here, becoming silent within, forgiving  ideas, beliefs and opinions of doom and gloom, “ what if’s” such as “ this person will reject me, or will no longer ‘ like’ me” and I stop, I breath, and I realize that this cannot define me, as what define me is life here, as the physical as this is how I  exist period.





Thursday, September 25, 2014

Day 577 Suppression: believing the entities of belief are real.


Suppression Character

I have had some problems in my chest, it feels like there is this shield there. The pressure from this has been bothering me for some time.
So, I looked at this point as a point of suppression. This suppression comes in a form or constriction, and if I go to look at the fear, there really is nothing there but ideas and beliefs, and opinions about things I never really took the time to investigate in practical common sense terms. Meaning, I separated myself from what I am here, a physical state of being as this is where I live and move and breath and exist. Here is what is real. If I am in separation from this, I am actually living in a mind construct, a projected idealism that separates the within of and as me from the without as this physical world that is the expression of life. Without this physical world I cannot exist, as this was here, and will be here when I am no longer here. And I can only continue as life, and life accepts all things, because the nature of life is creation. Creative ability is a transformative ability as this is how things are formed. And form reveals function. Form is both the particle and the wave. Makes sense. Thus, the physical world is life and must begin to move in ways that respect all of it.

Last night as I talked with someone, I looked at the movement in my chest area. I looked at where I created ideas about a situation more than just being here, at ease, realizing that I have the capacity to direct myself in ways that  allow myself to determine what I am. Meaning, what am I allowing to define me, more than taking anything personally being said, or being believed - as idea, and within this realizing that change is a  natural part of life and that all around me is transformation in every moment.
So, within my chest I could let the “ rise” of needing to protect, in this moment, go, and breath, I was here.
To some extent, I realized that what is considered the mundane, is what is real, and within this that realizing the mundane allows me to have the space and the time to participate within the slow physical movement of transformation, because there is plenty of space to be here, to take the time to see, and realize what is here. It is only the busyness of the mind that appears to have no time, and a consequence of having allowed this on earth as what men have been doing, is what has created the systemic structures that have all running after money to survive, as an idea as a self definition in ignorance of the practical physical world, has been defining us, and manifesting a projection as our present system that is overall, in separation from life, from being equal to creation. 
It is like allowing myself to become the beLIEf I allowed and letting it fall as me, back down to the ground here, like accepting it, and realizing there is really no place to fall. It is letting the self definitions go and then beginning to stand here, in common sense of that which I am that is life as this actual physical world.
Interesting that the habituated self, remains and as this, sadness is letting one thing go, this projected personality, and turning into rebuilding, because any equality to life has not really been lived. Earth, our hearth, our heart, must be aligned here in expression with and as accepting the physical as creation. What we believe as mind, is meta-physical, not good or bad, but a projection from the physical world, dependent on it.
This one incremental movement, to just let this “ down” as my heart area, as not reacting, as not constricting, opened up the shield, lessened its intensity and gave direction that was of more ease than that act of tension in protection and self defense based on an abstracted idea of reality. Is this what Christ meant when he said “ though I walk in the valley of the shadow of good and evil, I see no evil”?  and within this, what I see is the potential of life, of creation being denied and that it is here within us, right in front of us? Are there many who realize that war is not the answer, war is an act that bears no witness to life, is only  a system of profit based on an idea that one projected self definition of more exists than another idea of more in separation of the context of creation? This really is a melodramatic movie happening in the minds of men that destroys to allow an egotistical construction that is a bubble self only.
I can decide what defines me, I can shape what I am within, and the physical world is me, and is what stabilizes me here, as I am of the same substance and as such, a part of creation. So, it is to bring myself back down to here, equal and one with and as what has been labeled as “ mundane” to accept the gift of life as the physical. 

Thus.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to constrict in and as my chest area, to tense up based on an idea in and as my mind, in fear and reaction as protection and self defense, overall a separation from being equal in common sense of creation as the physical here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that an abstract entity as a thought is more than reality as the physical, as the physical is life information, life in expression here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing an idea of what i am here, not a good or  a bad but a selection of the qualities of what is here, where one quality is made less than another, and where according to exposure and opportunity more self direction has been learned but even this overall, is in limitation of creation as the physical,  as were it not so, then this world would be heaven on earth, an expression of the physical world at ease, communicating, interacting in ways that do no harm and create in respect of what is best for all, realizing we are all the same, of the same means of life information as the physical.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not let myself go, as in letting go of an idea, and cross referencing reality in every moment, using the ability of myself as life to sense what is here, realizing the mind is a projection that becomes a personality that I accept and allow that is a separation from  life and has no real directive capacity and is idealized thought, and thus, I stop and I slow down and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I am here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take things personally, which is myself believing that an idea can define me, and I slow myself down and investigate the actual real physical world to see, realize and understand that I exist here, respecting the physical world as creation information.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in this letting go there is what might be called a “ sadness” and as this movement, I see, realize and understand that this is simply change, a form of transformation only, like the changing of the turning from one direction to another, and that in moving through this if I resist this, the sadness - which is only a slowing down - will persist, as in this being a slowing down, there is, just as in a car slowing down, a sense of resistance, where on the other side of this resistance is the point of change, and as this I realize I have accepted and allowed this resistance that is myself allowing inferiority to life here, and for this I forgive myself.
When and as I find myself tensing up in and as my chest area, I stop and I breath and i allow myself to “ fall” to accept the change, the moving from chasing an idea, to coming back down to earth, and realizing the sense of slowing down is only a sense of slowing down, and that when I allow this, there is an ease and a realization that a personification does not define me here and that a personification as mind, can only define me if I accept and allow it, if I believe this to be more than myself as life here, as a physical state of being-ness as what life is and would be in common sense.
When and as I find myself tensing up in my chest area, I stop and I breath and i slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that I can “ fall” as in letting go of self defining ideas, because I am here as physical being-ness where I am equal and one to the very substance of life, and as this i can slow down and investigate what does no harm, and investigate what sustains the physical and allows expression, and the means of expression here as what circulates and shares understanding of practical physical reality, here.
When and as I find myself tensing up in and as my chest area, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I investigate all things, meaning paying attention to what I buy, for instance, to realize what supports all life, and also to realize myself as a creator, that is able to stand with others to create a change that supports all life on earth, which is, at the moment because of what has been accepted, to allow money to flow, as the wealth created, to flow to all men to enable men to become custodians of the physical world, in and as realizing the value is life here, where all forms of life are respected and supported.


Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Day 494 Self forgiveness on a thought about my father as a child.


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have the thought that stability, comfort, strength,  exists outside of myself as being that within my father, when he himself was a younger man, and myself as a very small child in a world where my parents were themselves a consequence of generations of separation into and as a hierarchical form of division via separation from common sense into and as limited values that define self from a starting point of building a personification of experiences that define the value of self, instead of learning from the get go, to direct self as common sense, that starting point of ability so prevalent in young children who have the ability to learn rapidly.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not want to slow down, breath, and look at this in common sense, for fear of loss of a belief of self, and for fear of realizing that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as the reverse of myself as life in full capacity and that the gift of this was always right there in front of me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the weight of fear as this, that began in childhood, where if I look, I can see realize and understand that the period where there were so called - buggy men under the bed - it was really myself projecting the bad away from myself, as myself rejecting parts of myself to take on a value to define myself in accord with a system that in total is a separation from myself as life which is the outward manifestation of what I have accepted and allowed within myself.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is myself as my human physical body that is the instrument as mind  that is projecting those fears outside of myself, through stories of good and bad, inner picture shows that can be traced back to self as the source and the occupation of separation away from self as common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I slow down, I can see, realize and understand that this is a movement within and as myself, that has a weight of heaviness and “ slime” within where self is so in separation from self as a physical being, and so consumed by the mind consciousness imagery that facing the pain within the physical as the value judgements projected outward self has no awareness of because self as life is so busy watching the reverse of life as comparison within good and bad, thus, as one becomes aware of self within the physical body, one eventually must face the fear that is the source of the separation, and this fear appears so huge, when it is not, which I must remind myself of, and slow myself down and breath.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being myself as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stand equal and one to and as fear here, within and without, to see, realize and understand that this is the only way, into equality and oneness in and as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to understand the mechanisms of my separation into and as fear, as in common sense, the physical world is mechanistic and as such can be read by that which is it created from, which is self as common sense, really the perfect design of life, in all common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that resistance to this would be the course of resisting a habit.
When and as I find myself having any movement within and as me, as a constriction, as myself reacting to here, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand the thought as the starting point and the values of separation into a good and a bad, and I stop and I breath, and I bring this back to self here, and I stabilize within and as myself and realize what is actually physically here in a physical world that is understandable in form and function as a mechanism as a gift to be equal and one to and as life, here.
When and as I find myself  resisting here, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I look to what I have thought within, as what i have accepted and allowed, that is myself fearing to ear/hear here, and I see, realize and understand where I have placed blame and spite outside of myself  and not walked in equality and oneness in each moment, here.
When and as I find myself beginning to breath with out ease, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I allow the fear that i have accepted and allowed, and I stand equal and one to and as this, and I do not allow the back chat  to be the directive of myself here, and as I stand equal and one to this that I have accepted and allowed, I see, realize and understand that this is an accumulation of a past as a behavior that was not myself in equality and oneness to and as life, and as I face this, within and without, I slow down and I walk in thought word and deed, the principle of what is best for all, as what is best for self is what is best for all here, and if and when, I am uncertain, I stop and realize that it means to simply investigate solutions as this is a process of the journey to life, to stop participation within and as a mind consciousness in separation from life, and to become the gift of life in common sense as what is best for all, which has never been done,  and yet, the discovery is the gift of life, the only  choice, here.


Saturday, December 21, 2013

Day 482 Realizing the mind as associating within limited values. LIFE NOT.


I had an image pop up that my mind wanted to follow, a circular house with two walls, like a corridor between the inner rooms and the outer wall, the windows above bringing in light, somehow in the small detail in the back of my mind was the sense that this building hid the outer world yet, used the light. And there was a window, long, rectangular, reaching out to the exterior from each inner room.

I have been obsessed with looking at small houses, and I have noticed that desire to have a perfect house, imagining what I might want.

This window that was the same or similar design as what M. did in the P. house.
All of this is a transfer of the male story onto a house, which is accepting being my own caretaker, and then moving this into the house, of care, so to speak. Still this is a shield from the outer world, a protection and defense, myself the many characters as the women in the house sleeping as the rooms were sleeping rooms, myself not wanting to face the emotional values in the words of others, the threat of not adhering to these words with inference d values.

I find myself looking back over my day and how i have interacted with another, the sound of their voice. And I notice I want to move to that voice and match it, as in serve the emotional/feeling values laced within their words, also looking at the words in between sets of associations, because the mind screams its limitations. I notice a resistance to NOT follow.

I have to breath, to let this fear of NO SERVICE to the underpinning match game as habit, as fearing the other to not “ like” me and as protection and defense of facing myself here. I have to look out, so to speak, and not react when the words of another “ hit me” in what is a discordant manner, which is myself in a state of  not letting myself  go as belief, as idea, and stop and breath, and realize that I as life as sound, can metamorphose as mind with a common sense of the environment around me, meaning not remain in the infinite self interest, inform as how I have learned, accepted and allowed, myself to build a character and personification of my social cultural/national heritage that was in total that of a bordered existence as what humans have created on earth.  And that the contrast of listening to another need not be a burden to carry as a pain, where I believe as a woman that this is my responsibility. I won’t lose any definition, as letting go of my own limited self defining values, as I realize at moments within interacting with others, how limited I have been within my awareness  and / or  this same happening in another where a tendency would be to go into superiority that then overwhelms me to the point where the negative to this self aggrandizement leads to  a fear of carrying responsibility as in turning this into a burden. Within all of this I create my own pain.  And meanwhile, all around me is an earth that is round, forgiving as the resources have no one’s name on them and as such belong to all, as the resources are life. In the end, what is best for all life, is what is best for myself. I can let go the shame, the burden, the pain, as myself trying to answer to all factions, when all that I need is the principle of what is best for all, here. It is to just stop, and use my own common sense.

I was listening to an interview of someone riding first class on an American train. Normally, they rode “ commuter class” ( the names are always changing - wonder why/). To them there was little difference, and the accouterments were based on values from another era, like a black maid, a white table cloth, etc. all little things that are associated with a “ more than” classier environment. Meanwhile, it was a train, moving from one point to another. All the same, except for small changes. But a human will make this huge, or devalue it, to justify a relationship within as a self definition, and become so occupied with this that what is real is not really looked at.

As a society, each of us has accumulated so much of such values, that we no longer look beyond this and because of such accepted and allowed limited common sense of the whole, we have become ignorant of our world and the movements and forms we have allowed : for example how money moves and a multitude of  values as justifications we have given money, like we use money to keep our limited values in place so we do not lose them all the while missing the real value and one that can be lived with ease as we no longer need to chase a metaphysical carrot as idea. Overall,  this separation that is self created and of no real understanding of reality, of which we are more than able to do. Ironically, that which we seek in collecting the self defining values is right here as the solution of equality. This to value life, all life, as life is the value, and thus to accept and respect all life. To give all men the means to become their full potential, to give as we would like to receive to get ourselves out of our separation from life.

In all, our elite are this. They are us in another life. And they are so caught in this that they really believe that they are somehow superior. And it is only a belief in the head, a projection that is an association of values that are used to define a self, that then becomes a personification of this self, in manner, in dress, leading to a deed to support this and the thoughts as the measure of this taught building a concrete mind/ a mind map, a mental imagery of data that serves ideals that direct instead of common sense. And the irony, is that moving as common sense would mean giving all of this up, and as this becoming so much more than that limited personification. It would be to give up everything - so to speak - to become an EVERYTHING that is an equality to life.


I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something of myself as how I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself will be lost unless I protect and defend that value as an idea.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that ideas define me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have accumulated ideas to define me, instead of using my own common sense and equalizing myself to physical reality here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to protect and defend ideas, beliefs and opinions as taking one small value based on a idea from my past and from a cultural past and using this as the measure of myself, and as such ignoring the real value as the physical as the life around me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear facing the value system of another, and within this to fear being bullied verbally and /or physically should I not match the limited values systems of self definition as the society created by men on earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that listening to another’s self validation as life story as touting limited values is a burden, where I believe that out of some belief in respect, as a social norm it is my responsibility to listen and empathize, and for this I forgive myself as the only choice is to do what is best for all here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to hide within myself, my own limited values and silently compare within and as myself to protect and defend my own value system because in effect I fear a “ value war” and/or realizing that my values are an ignorant acceptance that will be revealed for what they are, a limited value system that has inhibited my life, and as such I become embarrassed and fear my lack of awareness being exposed, and for this I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear my values being questioned.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to enjoy life and move within looking at my limited value system and letting it go, as in transforming myself  within learning about others, and as such expanding my awareness, which is in essence to enjoy life, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I will be hurt and that this will be painful if and as someone questions my value system or in sharing their value system I become responsible for not having clarified the limitations as in questioning their values as is the responsibility of myself as life, and because of this what I fear is that in questioning the values of another, I will be met with bullying and deemed difficult, both scenarios simply mean, an accepted mean as reaction in self defense,  looking at what has been accepted and allowed as idea, and aligning within and as what is best for all, what does no harm , what brings stability and ease of being, here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being wrong
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being bullied
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe I am a right as in only being this, and as this fearing the responsibility of this, when such can be clarified through taking the time to investigate to realize what is best practice as what does no harm, and as this that rushing, and hurrying in haste is not worth the risk as the consequences of non-investigation end up causing one to retrace their steps.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to touted “ value drives” as personification  just as I might react to a sale that suggests value drives, where I allow myself to believe that I am inferior unless I take on that opportunity as a value interaction through worship of value as personification in another or as purchasing a trinket to place in my environment to ostensibly give myself more value.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that listening and being socially polite as the norm is a burden
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that idea only is superior or inferior to me as me.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something will be lost if I give up ideas I have accepted and allowed about myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear I will have no definition should I give up values as ideas, as pushing away what I define as being less than, and bringing forward as what I define as being a more than, not seeing realizing and understanding that as such I am within my mind on a polarity roller coaster of right and wrong instead of being here equal and one, in common sense of physical existence which is practical.
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When and as I find myself constricting within and as me, as my human physical body, i stop and I breath and I slow myself down.
When and as I find myself comparing my self to others, i stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I bring myself back here one and equal to breath, I touch something within my physical environment and take the time to stabilize myself.
When and as I find myself beginning to brew a storm in a teacup, so to speak, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down as I see realize and understand as my body constricts within this that i am reacting as a value judgement.
When and as I find myself reacting to the thought, word or deed of another, I stop and I breath, I slow myself down to stabilize myself here, before I speak, or do not speak.
When and as I find myself  beginning to breath in shortened breaths, I stop and I slow myself down, I stabilize my breath as this is a smoke and mirrors show as anxiety in fear of loss, or control of myself as being confrontational as reaction, and within this I move as the principle of what is best for all, here.
When and as I find myself encountering the words of another I stop and I breath and I see realize and understand that the words of another do not define me, here.
When and as I find myself tensing within and as my human physical body, I stop and I breath and I see, realize and understand that I am here, and can stabilize as breath, and within this that all the associations being presented are parts of a whole even as judgements of good and bad, and as such  can be brought back to the whole within the principle of what is best for all here, where the only choice is what does not harm, what gives as one would like to receive, as there is no real life until the parts are in full potential, as each human, each plant, each animal, each water molecule, as the parts are only substantiated into the extraordinary when all working as individual yet equal, a state that cannot exist as long a hierarchy is the accepted and allowed form as men on earth because this is a value system of more than and less than by its very design and therefor must come to an end if life is to begin. 
When and as I find myself reacting to the exterior system that is a consequence of what humans have accepted and allowed that has accumulated into the present system that abuses as profit is the law before life, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I realize that this began within and as me, and as such, the only choice is to do what is best for all here.


In all, our elite are this. And they are so caught in this that they really believe that they are somehow superior. And it is only a belief in the head, a projection that is an association of values that are used to define a self, that then becomes a personification of this self, in manner, in dress, leading to a deed to support this and the thoughts as the measure of this taught building a concrete mind/ a mind map, a mental imagery of data that serves ideals that direct instead of common sense. And the irony, is that moving as common sense would mean giving all of this up, and as this becoming so much more than that limited personification. It would be to give up everything - so to speak - to become an EVERYTHING that is an equality to life.

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