Day 690 Changing my own self absorption.

There is a tension in my right arm, this is information, and it is heavy as the information that is me is limited, it does not fit into the physical world, move with here, with ease. I have accepted and allowed ideas, beliefs and opinions to define what is real. I have used my presence to built a construct within, as a memory, as an entity of mis-information to define who and what I am. I have accepted and allowed this to direct me. When I become aggressive, as in pushing and forcing information onto here, as my own measure/experience/culture/background/7 generations/ value judgements I mis-take my ability to be aware of my own constructions within ONLY paying attention to that inner information. I am so involved in my own survival suit/character/personality/self definitions that that which reads that inner information lacks being present in reality as myself and as the physical world.

This inner information moves in a stagnant manner, heavy and resistant to change. It moves more as substantiation of itself than being in consideration of what is real, as the surrounding physical world. The solution is to align that within to the without, through rebuilding that within to equalize to the without as the physical world.

Thus, when I tense up, it is a resistance to change. It is me wanting to force my own insight onto the world around me. This is not necessarily bad, it can be a cool moment of reflection, to assess and investigate what I believe, and build through cross reference that information with the reality around me, meaning to look at all things, for example.  

My ability to sense, can understand the parts and look at the physical world, and continue awareness of the within and the without. I mean, we can go outside and look at the trees, and see, very clearly when they are in abundance or lack through the expression of their foliage. It is right in front of us, and we know the building blocks. 

After all, we know how to take care of a race horse, we know its limits, and we know the needs of that physical body. It is astounding that one practice reveals the means and yet we are so self involved that we lack translating that means into another similar situation.  

And yet, that lack reflects the self absorption  focused within narrow parameters of belief  ' within '  ONLY. The key here is self absorption, which reveals that we absorb, we become what we focus on, and that we can absorb, and that that is our ability to assess and investigate and BUILD within and without. So simple, so evident, so right in front of us. 

The chaos is the separation into believing the information that was not present at birth, or not yet the seven generations of information resounding within, that occupies that ability to absorb into becoming self absorbed. The ability to absorb, is indebted/enslaved to limited information, ubiquitous as what humans have accepted and allowed for eons. The physical the means to ground us back into what is real.

Thus, because I am a product of this system, in every breath, in every moment, it is for me to humble myself, to hear the hum of the physical, to see that which is constant, and to stand with and as that. The real ‘ hum’ is to ground myself into silence, that can here the information of the physical world.  I mean, this would be to hear the grass grow. This is something I cannot even fathom, as I am a product of the present system, and yet, who and what I am as life, can become this with practice. Within this, I can real-eyes that everything that is here, is me, in another form, in another life information, and that I cannot stand without what is here. I am like a cell, a part, and yet, one. This shares the one and the many. This quantifies , much like the fungal network that sustains whole forests of trees. It is an information network in support of the parts and the whole, each part individual and yet one.  Our present military industrial complex is a war in rejection of this, and yet, cannot exist without this. This respect for all things, is how life exists. It is like a self sustaining fabric that by design is oneness and equality. It is the principle of the golden rule, to give as one would receive. It is the mathematical equation of self forgiveness. It is the sound of equality. It is the only choice. It is what I am as what and who I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist looking here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist expressing myself here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in every breath in every moment I can ground myself here, and self forgive to investigating and assessing the measure within and without, as my past accepted and allowed belief constructs that lacked a consideration of all things, and become the practice of equalizing my presence here, to respect within and without the real symbols as the physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as polarized energetic entities within and as myself, self absorbed within limited constructions of opinions and ideas about reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to use my greatest strength to and towards self absorption, instead of considering all things, taking that which is good and does no harm, to realize my symbiotic potential as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I tense up within and as me, I am resisting here, becoming self absorbed, wanting to force my polarized value judgements onto reality, instead of humbling myself here, respecting all things, giving as I would receive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not live my innate self responsibility as who and what I am, as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist values, to not see in every moment, in every breath, the values expressed without resistance and to them give as I would receive, to walk the practical, as what does no harm, and what brings limitation into equality and oneness with the physical infrastructure here, as the basic needs of what it means to live in abundance on a physical planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how self absorbed I have accepted and allowed myself to be, in protection and self defense, mirroring the present system without.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the inferiority of my own self absorption in relation to the life that is the means of me, here as the physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand around all the desires as beliefs and opinions and ideas as what I have allowed to be a self absorption is my own construct accepted and allowed that is my separation from myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I am the source of my own fear.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that I am the source of my own isolation from life, through my own accepted and allowed self absorption in self interest, resisting cross reference with the nature of the physical world, which is self forgiveness, a practice of respect for the physical world, as assessment and investigation of the physical world around me, in every breath, here. to become in practice, in thought word and deed what does no harm, and considers all things.

When and as I find myself resisting here, as in lacking a respect for all forms, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I assess what is here, to see, realize and understand what is here as the physical.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as me, I stop and I breath, and I self forgive beliefs, opinions and ideas, realizing my own survival behavior as fear of loss about information, about possible ‘ what if’ situations as imaginations as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become absorbed with as information within and as me, and I quantify the information within and humble myself to the information without, to assess and investigate, until I see, realize and understand a consideration of all things, to live self forgiveness in every moment.

Day 543 The limited measure of projecting values.

Today I feel tired. I realize I have to go and do something and I fear the outcome not being directive, not being clear in leading to understanding of how we are formed within, that is causing so much anxiety and malfunctioning within out society. How can I allow another to discover the separation that exists that is so evident in the very practices we are all accepting and allowing that is creating the lack of communication and practical problem solving skills in each of us? I mean we need only look at the systemic structural design to realize that any lack is simply a disconnect from being in common sense. In other words, common sense is the biologic of each of us as the formation of the substance of what we are, it has to exist, or the very formation of physical life would be non-existent. It is what we are, so it is what we as humans are able to be and do. It is right here in front of us and we cannot see it, we are too busy projecting ideas that are based on limited values, missing the common sense of how this world works in interconnected ways, and how we are the perfect biological machines to be in common sense with that which is us.

So, this tiredness within me is a feeling that this is impossible. And I can feel this energy coming up that is a distraction from common sense. I have to stand, stable here, breathing, slowing down, bring this back to myself and realizing what is best for all.

There are videos on the internet of babies singing, crying, and dancing. What these very small children are doing is imitating everything they see. If a mother sings an emotional song, the baby imitates every movement, down to the tears flowing. Thus, the baby, who in reality has had no sorrow, ( I mean having a mother who can post on the internet, means the existence is pretty stable and thus basic baby needs met) is modeling the facial physical expression of sorrow simply through imitation.

Now, when we learn to play an instrument, for example, we have to remediate until the movement is understood. This is the same when we learn to drive a car. once the physical behaviors/movements are learned, the movement does not take up so much of our attention, and we can add more awareness. The behavior, the movement, the being and having of movement and directive capacity within this is learned and becomes automatic.

So, we know what is repeated as a behavior becomes automatic.

So, what happens when an emotional value is impulsed? The same. So, if emotional values are imitated, and we learn to form all our muscles in ways that imitate the emotional value, do we then  become this in response to our world? I mean this is a learned expression of our physical imitative expression. So, in essence, we can exhibit sorrow when we have never lived sorrow.

So, how directive do we really become, when we learn such? Is this not like learning play acting, without having any context of reality, that very physical form that enables this imitation - so to speak?

Is this what we are being taught, to begin with, the emotions of our parents?

It is that we are using a biological sensing machine to imitate within a behavioral bubble, one of self defining values that are in themselves in separation from realizing that what we are has an incredible ability to sense the world around us. So, one could say that our common sense as biological beings, is being used to imitate emotions instead of realizing that we are that sensing machine.  We believe that showing emotion is maturity, but in essence it reveals the measure of our separation from practical reality, physical reality, which is what is doing the imitating.

What if this biological ability to imitate were used to sense all of the physical world, to realize the workings of being physical beings on a physical planet?

What if, in tandem with this, we realized that the present system was one where banks, printed money out of thin air, lent it, with interest, knowing full well that the interest was impossible to repay, because what was lent was a certain amount overall, so what would return was only what was lent, so the interest could never, ever be repaid in total, and that with each printed-out-of-thin-air bill, the other bills lost value in a inverted division of placing the overall value within a narrow limited confined amount overall. I mean to say, with each printing, the total is divided into smaller measure, it is an illusion of more, that is not more. And the ones at the bottom bear the loss of value in pensions etc.

Yet, if we are all caught up in emotions, as the measure within as what we have remediated ourselves in and as, and that this has some meaning that is of a value greater than common sense, like we are existing as movies of emotional values in and as our biological imitative beingness, and so occupied with this, that we have no ability to measure in common sense what is going on right under our noses? We have lost, or not developed from the get go, a sense of the measure of reality here, and how our systems are structures that play with the measure of here in ways that support a separation that places an idea of value judgements before common sense?

And, overall, some, that are lost in their value judgements, which are a separation, that layers as emotions, that builds a character that becomes the expression of the person, who buys the airwaves of media, and impulses this value, which is imitated and programmed within each, that what is real, and what is common sense is completely lost.

And then, the structural design, economically naturally causes a lot of stress because that debt based on imaginary money made real accepted as real, by the borrower, has each of us running on a treadmill of limited values imitated to survive within this limited scenario, that we are so caught up in, we can no longer realize that a cup is a cup. Period.

What we see, is that the cup is purple, and based on our memories of comfort, or culture, that the cup’s value is based on its color because it triggers emotions of security of one’s place on a grid on inequality, where one’s cultural beliefs, are touted because they maintain one’s value that defines one placement. Our common sense tells us it is a sup, our emotional sense tells us that the value is based on other - and very very limited- qualities - and of course, these values are not good or bad, but they are made self defining values. A real smoke and mirrors show. I mean, this is how a natural divergent thinking ability is lost, that ability to look at an object and realize the real value as what the form can be used for beyond allowing one limited characteristic to become the value. And even here, to realize that the values are commodified, so one believes that there is choice. But the choice is very limited. I mean  walk into a department store and see all the shapes and sizes and believe that you have a choice, and that your choice is the “ real” choice and the best choice, when it really in no choice, because that cup is a cup.

So, my tiredness is the thought of having to face this paranormal system of limited values that humans have allowed to define themselves as. And, also to realize that because these limited values have been allowed to define us, and we are not taking our heads out of the illusion, that these values can be used to direct us into realigning ourselves back into our common sense. It is being responsible and non-reactive, to and towards the separation, because emotional reactions are  myself being the same, placing limited values before reality. And, I am such a program of this, that my automated reactions are not all clear, because it took a long time to build this inner-value-before-life-common-sense, that I have to bring myself back, breath, slow down, forgive the values, step out of the paranormal reality and ground myself here. And, once again, to realize that the only place that I can be in common sense, is equal and one with and as the physical, so the answer is always right in front of me, as there is no place to “ fall” but here.

I notice that when I become an emotional reaction, my legs physically become heavy, the muscles in my thighs become tense, constricted. This is the morality system of values I have defined myself as. This has accumulated into my flesh and defines my character, because it is of limited values, that are not good or bad, just aspects of qualities about the physical, not something to be allowed a more than status. And the loss of this, I fear would mean the loss of myself, but it is not the loss of myself, it is the loss - so to speak- of my separation from the gift of life, which is my common sense. I fear standing as the responsibility of and as this.

In all, it is very much like the logi-rhythm of a violin sting, where the divisions are placed within redividing space into a time of measure within a limited framework, and within this system, the division are of  commodified different measures, but the string length stays the same and it is composed of physical substance, so it is to become flexible, mutable, without fear of what underlies changing, it is only the pressure that changes the sound, 

What remains is the physical world and to get myself back is a process because it took time to build the separation from myself as life, here. And, for this separation I forgive myself, which means, re-scripting myself through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application to become response-able as life.