Day 661 Moving into reaction instead of solution.

Moving into reaction instead of solution.

Yesterday I met someone while out in my world and had a conversation where  I talked about some behaviors with a certain person in relation to dealing with someone we both knew.

After the conversation, as I walked in the market, I suddenly had a movement within me that was heavy. It moved down from the top of me head, into my solar plexus. There in the supermarket, I had to slow way down and breath, as in that moment it became difficult to walk. Meanwhile, within remaining in breath, I realized that I had become a measure within as a belief, or played out a habit that I did not catch, I did not align into what is best for all.

Looking back, I realize I had allowed myself to move into fear. I had allowed myself to see doom and gloom within a situation instead of moving into solution that brought the reward of moving within the relationships around me with ease.

The situation was one where I had spoken with a person many times, agreed upon an arrangement, and that person would come back some time later and change her mind. I would then build an acceptable agreement, only to have the same thing happen again. I could feel myself starting to react. I felt like I was in a game that went nowhere.

When I met this other friend in the market, I started to question her about this other person, and she agreed with my assessment. She even asked the same question. Thus, there I stood as a reaction, becoming a blame, and moving from being directive to becoming someone who labeled something as being limiting. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this, as assessing behaviors is not a bad, and cross referencing is not bad. It was the fear I had there in the back of my mind, of a potential for a loss of opportunity, and the movement into feeling unworthy as being the cause of the ‘ wall’ in front of me. 

My assessment of this person may be correct, and may also need, at the same time, additional respect as to what is the starting point of their responses.  Yet this does not define who and what I am in terms of my worth as this is an idea within myself, and has nothing to do with directing myself here.  I can only be here, unless I believe that what is in my temple as that which is formed within me as idea, belief or opinion, which is a form of usury.  If I believe what I am formed as within, as my imagination only,  I am usurious of life around me as the physical world, because instead of remaining here in common sense, as respect of the physical, valuing all life, I am believing a measure within me and imposing this onto reality- I am selling my soul- my inner creation, instead of respecting the means of that soul, the physical. Hence my inner measure which is composing a picture show, is in total separation from reality and the consequence of this will all ways be a limitation, and that limitation because it has no real grounding, will cause insecurity, anxiety and fear. I will not see clearly here. I will cause friction with reality, I will not fit into living, I will not fit into creation. I will become stagnant. I will lose opportunity. I will separation from life. I will it. I allow it. I accept it. What is of the temple within, must be equal to the temple without as the physical. All things must be respected, everything. 

Thus, within this situation, I had to slow way down. I had to see, realize and understand where I was taking things personally, as potentially defining me as having no worth. This is myself believing that how I defined myself was more than reality, and that this was potentially going to be lost, ignored, or discredited. Non of this has anything to do with reality, with being here as a physical beingness.

Perhaps there is reason within this woman’s choices. That is okay. Perhaps there is overprotection going on within this person. That is okay, caution is necessary. Yet, within myself this behavior is just this, a measure of belief, and not one that determines who and what I am here. I either meet with the person I wanted to see, or I do not. Either way, I am here, living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction and then to move into managing my own reaction, instead of remaining here, assessing and doing that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become frustrated when I believe I have resolved an issue only to have that issue come up again and again, despite working through ideas and believing, and even at times, moving into superiority, in relation to a disagreement between two parties.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have wanted agreement, without slowing down to realize the perspective of others, in more detail around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a measure, as a perspective that had nothing to do with me, define who and what I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as my own self interest, without slowing down and assessing a situation and the reactions as the behaviors of others, to a greater degree, to find solutions that moved with more equity than reaction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is something wrong with me,  which was myself being what I was projecting onto the person and their behaviors around me, thus was I being what I criticized and not moving into understanding and solutions that created the reward of living with ease, here, on this physical planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that self interest, I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush in my own self interest, despite having taken time to assess, as the behaviors around me revealed that more assessment was needed, or to consider the interest of another, within their comfort zones, and to ease this, within and as a understanding of how a mind consciousness moves, as this is what I would have wanted for self, and within this, the way and the means to remove resistances, as in building trust, which takes time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost, as within this, when and as I react within an idea that something is lost, I am not moving in consideration of all things, and building an understanding that lends self direction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to blame instead of continuing to understand until all things are clear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become annoyed, when and as I find myself having to reassess something and remain within and as what is trustworthy, as in never needing to lie, as myself as a directive principle in and as life, takes that which is good, in measure and builds what imparts a sense of ease, which is sharing a presence that solves instead of resists.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become lost within a limited measure of belief, opinion and idea within and as what I have accepted and allowed as a version of reality in the temple of my mind, a mind consciousness in separation from the means of life, of respecting all things, including the physical as the physical is life information, as the physical is the potential of life information.

When and as I find myself reacting, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess what I speak, to ensure that my words move from problem to solution to reward.

When and as I find myself polarizing a value, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess if I am within reaction to a problem, or moving instead into solution of a problem.

When and as I find myself moving into fear, as in imagining a doom and gloom scenario of loss, or lack of communication, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down until I am here, grounded, and can direct in ways that are not myself manipulating in self interest in protection and self defense based on an idea within and as the temple of a mind consciousness of limited values that I have accepted and allowed to define me instead of remaining grounded in life, the physical.

When and as I find myself becoming ashamed of what I have accepted and allowed, as a mind consciousness of belief, opinion and idea in limitation, ignoring what is real as the physical life information around me, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that remaining in shame is not grounding myself here, in a practice of respecting all things as the physical.

When and as I find myself calling something by name, which may happen, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that I can only ground myself into speaking what moves from problem into solution in stable ways that lead to rewards for all concerned as much as I am able, here, in this moment here.

When and as I find myself allowing a situation to define who and what I am, I see, realize and understand that this is information I accepted and allowed based on a past, where I acted in the self interest as a mind consciousness in separation from respect for all things.

When and as I find myself seeking validation from another, I stop and I breath, and I realize my starting point as being one of self interest or assessment into perspective as a cross reference and within this I allow no blame and spite , I slow down and move within and as what is solution in terms of what is best for all, here.

When and as I find myself moving into guilt for not having slowed down and investigated further, beyond reaction, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I, instead of resisting in self interest, I place myself in the other’s shoes for a moment, and accept the perspective to realize solutions that lead to what is best for all here.

Day 543 The limited measure of projecting values.

Today I feel tired. I realize I have to go and do something and I fear the outcome not being directive, not being clear in leading to understanding of how we are formed within, that is causing so much anxiety and malfunctioning within out society. How can I allow another to discover the separation that exists that is so evident in the very practices we are all accepting and allowing that is creating the lack of communication and practical problem solving skills in each of us? I mean we need only look at the systemic structural design to realize that any lack is simply a disconnect from being in common sense. In other words, common sense is the biologic of each of us as the formation of the substance of what we are, it has to exist, or the very formation of physical life would be non-existent. It is what we are, so it is what we as humans are able to be and do. It is right here in front of us and we cannot see it, we are too busy projecting ideas that are based on limited values, missing the common sense of how this world works in interconnected ways, and how we are the perfect biological machines to be in common sense with that which is us.

So, this tiredness within me is a feeling that this is impossible. And I can feel this energy coming up that is a distraction from common sense. I have to stand, stable here, breathing, slowing down, bring this back to myself and realizing what is best for all.

There are videos on the internet of babies singing, crying, and dancing. What these very small children are doing is imitating everything they see. If a mother sings an emotional song, the baby imitates every movement, down to the tears flowing. Thus, the baby, who in reality has had no sorrow, ( I mean having a mother who can post on the internet, means the existence is pretty stable and thus basic baby needs met) is modeling the facial physical expression of sorrow simply through imitation.

Now, when we learn to play an instrument, for example, we have to remediate until the movement is understood. This is the same when we learn to drive a car. once the physical behaviors/movements are learned, the movement does not take up so much of our attention, and we can add more awareness. The behavior, the movement, the being and having of movement and directive capacity within this is learned and becomes automatic.

So, we know what is repeated as a behavior becomes automatic.

So, what happens when an emotional value is impulsed? The same. So, if emotional values are imitated, and we learn to form all our muscles in ways that imitate the emotional value, do we then  become this in response to our world? I mean this is a learned expression of our physical imitative expression. So, in essence, we can exhibit sorrow when we have never lived sorrow.

So, how directive do we really become, when we learn such? Is this not like learning play acting, without having any context of reality, that very physical form that enables this imitation - so to speak?

Is this what we are being taught, to begin with, the emotions of our parents?

It is that we are using a biological sensing machine to imitate within a behavioral bubble, one of self defining values that are in themselves in separation from realizing that what we are has an incredible ability to sense the world around us. So, one could say that our common sense as biological beings, is being used to imitate emotions instead of realizing that we are that sensing machine.  We believe that showing emotion is maturity, but in essence it reveals the measure of our separation from practical reality, physical reality, which is what is doing the imitating.

What if this biological ability to imitate were used to sense all of the physical world, to realize the workings of being physical beings on a physical planet?

What if, in tandem with this, we realized that the present system was one where banks, printed money out of thin air, lent it, with interest, knowing full well that the interest was impossible to repay, because what was lent was a certain amount overall, so what would return was only what was lent, so the interest could never, ever be repaid in total, and that with each printed-out-of-thin-air bill, the other bills lost value in a inverted division of placing the overall value within a narrow limited confined amount overall. I mean to say, with each printing, the total is divided into smaller measure, it is an illusion of more, that is not more. And the ones at the bottom bear the loss of value in pensions etc.

Yet, if we are all caught up in emotions, as the measure within as what we have remediated ourselves in and as, and that this has some meaning that is of a value greater than common sense, like we are existing as movies of emotional values in and as our biological imitative beingness, and so occupied with this, that we have no ability to measure in common sense what is going on right under our noses? We have lost, or not developed from the get go, a sense of the measure of reality here, and how our systems are structures that play with the measure of here in ways that support a separation that places an idea of value judgements before common sense?

And, overall, some, that are lost in their value judgements, which are a separation, that layers as emotions, that builds a character that becomes the expression of the person, who buys the airwaves of media, and impulses this value, which is imitated and programmed within each, that what is real, and what is common sense is completely lost.

And then, the structural design, economically naturally causes a lot of stress because that debt based on imaginary money made real accepted as real, by the borrower, has each of us running on a treadmill of limited values imitated to survive within this limited scenario, that we are so caught up in, we can no longer realize that a cup is a cup. Period.

What we see, is that the cup is purple, and based on our memories of comfort, or culture, that the cup’s value is based on its color because it triggers emotions of security of one’s place on a grid on inequality, where one’s cultural beliefs, are touted because they maintain one’s value that defines one placement. Our common sense tells us it is a sup, our emotional sense tells us that the value is based on other - and very very limited- qualities - and of course, these values are not good or bad, but they are made self defining values. A real smoke and mirrors show. I mean, this is how a natural divergent thinking ability is lost, that ability to look at an object and realize the real value as what the form can be used for beyond allowing one limited characteristic to become the value. And even here, to realize that the values are commodified, so one believes that there is choice. But the choice is very limited. I mean  walk into a department store and see all the shapes and sizes and believe that you have a choice, and that your choice is the “ real” choice and the best choice, when it really in no choice, because that cup is a cup.

So, my tiredness is the thought of having to face this paranormal system of limited values that humans have allowed to define themselves as. And, also to realize that because these limited values have been allowed to define us, and we are not taking our heads out of the illusion, that these values can be used to direct us into realigning ourselves back into our common sense. It is being responsible and non-reactive, to and towards the separation, because emotional reactions are  myself being the same, placing limited values before reality. And, I am such a program of this, that my automated reactions are not all clear, because it took a long time to build this inner-value-before-life-common-sense, that I have to bring myself back, breath, slow down, forgive the values, step out of the paranormal reality and ground myself here. And, once again, to realize that the only place that I can be in common sense, is equal and one with and as the physical, so the answer is always right in front of me, as there is no place to “ fall” but here.

I notice that when I become an emotional reaction, my legs physically become heavy, the muscles in my thighs become tense, constricted. This is the morality system of values I have defined myself as. This has accumulated into my flesh and defines my character, because it is of limited values, that are not good or bad, just aspects of qualities about the physical, not something to be allowed a more than status. And the loss of this, I fear would mean the loss of myself, but it is not the loss of myself, it is the loss - so to speak- of my separation from the gift of life, which is my common sense. I fear standing as the responsibility of and as this.

In all, it is very much like the logi-rhythm of a violin sting, where the divisions are placed within redividing space into a time of measure within a limited framework, and within this system, the division are of  commodified different measures, but the string length stays the same and it is composed of physical substance, so it is to become flexible, mutable, without fear of what underlies changing, it is only the pressure that changes the sound, 

What remains is the physical world and to get myself back is a process because it took time to build the separation from myself as life, here. And, for this separation I forgive myself, which means, re-scripting myself through writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application to become response-able as life.