More interference as mind consciousness systems of separation .Day 759

“Interference theory is theory regarding human memory. Interference occurs in learning when there is an interaction between the new material and transfer effects of past learned behavior, memories or thoughts that have a negative influence in comprehending the new material. Bringing to mind old knowledge has the effect of impairing both the speed of learning and memory performance.”  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interference_theory

Last night, in the middle of the night, there was a sudden and loud banging on my front door. It took me a minute to rise and walk down the stairs. There was a policeman there telling me something had happened to my mother.

What I noticed was a lot of adrenaline bringing to move through me as I walked down the stairs. I could hear the voices in my head wanting to move into worst case scenarios, and imagining possible reasons for the visit in the middle of the night.

I said to myself, that I don’t know until I know, meaning i have to investigate what is going on a face it, instead of become emotional and follow all this interferences from that past. All this ‘ old knowledge” some of which is influenced within stories from the doom and gloom war mongering media hollywood information, as a movie is a body of information. Some was of self blame; it is amazing how we do tend to be hardest on ourselves, wondering what we did or did not do.

I remember in my thirties, after I had children, when I had to go to orchestra rehearsals and I could not hold, or retain, or remember what key I was in. This was something that had become so automatic. Meaning i glanced at the key signature and new where i was in terms of the division as the math of the notes in reading the piece. I got to the point where I was aware of the fact that if I carried some ‘ emotional’ thing with me, it would interrupt my processing of the music. I had to be clear.  

I had also been told by a master, and i have said this before, that if I focused correctly, I did not have to practice some inordinate number of hours, it could be done effectively in less time. it took me a while to get this. When I did, I realized I had to totally focus on what I was doing. If I allowed some interference, I was slowed down.

 lol, in another system, the term ‘ teachability index’ is used to describe one’s ability to process information ( which means the living space mourned us and this interference slowing down awareness in others AND the self).  In this other system, I have had people use the excuse that ‘ their teachability index was low.”  This kind of excuse is a form of blame. In music, one cannot say this. Period. We cannot say as we have to rehearse and perform “ my focus is not good today, I have some emotional thing resonant within me and it is slowing me down. Or, ‘ My speed of learning and memory performance is not at a good level today’ cannot also be said in music.  And yet, we allow this in so any other areas of our lives. When a musician cannot perform, it effects all the others in the group. IN so many ways this is a disrespect of others, and yet our society moves to pamper such behavior which is the opposite of resolution, it is the opposite of bringing one back up to speed where solutions are realized. Someone has said that depression is a form of self interest, in this regard, from the perspective of music, it is a state of disregard for others. 

In tandem with my early morning, I had a long conversation with someone early this morning. I let them talk, I let them tell the whole sequence of events as a time line of and as what they wanted to convey. At the end, and it is cool to realize that people will summarize everything that have explained once again to themselves ( and do it again and again) into a singular statement. The statement at the end of this conversation was that there person of whom they spoke was overall ‘ toxic.” 

Do we see where I am going with this? I begin with talking about a slow learning ability, and a sluggish memory processing in relation to my own movements in reaction to someone banging on my door in the middle of the night - and yes I did breathe. As I allowed a person to describe a situation, that ended with a descriptive, as the word ‘ toxic’ I realized that they were describing actions by a human being lost in emotional interference. This person was the same as me, when I realized I could not focus on the key I was in, as I had other things interfering with my focus, my presence in reality. At the time it scared me, in my thirties and I wondered how this could be happening.

Within this conversation I used the word toxic and began to describe it as best I could as an emotional firewall. I described how that emotional firewall moved in such a way that everything around that person was not their fault, and always the fault of others. It was a cry of blame, and also a cry of not being able to connect, because that resonant interference had become so big, there was no longer any ability to connect to others. At the end of the conversation, this person also noted that this person could not connect with others. Can we begin to see, how our past, composed of conversations of good and bad, righteousness and blame, spite and justification as the voices in our minds, as the mind, can consume our presence and separate us from processing what is here, in practical and effective ways? Can we realize that a mind consciousness system is not some mystical supernatural invisible thing, it is right here, it is visible in the focus of our presence, it is in the words we speak, it is in the physical movements of and as us. Do children have this heaviness, the sluggishness of this within them when they are young? ( To note, the number one killer in children is cancer before childhood accidents which has only happened in that last decade - a red flag) 

An example is, that when we become a state of comparison, ONLY seeing what another person can express, be it the courage to wear a colored scarf, and we react, and become jealous what are we NOT LEARNING? What are we NOT realizing we are existing as as a value system that is like a checklist of ‘ orders as belief’ that we are ONLY USING AS MEMORY, and thereby missing so much of the other values, or that this person with this colored scarf looks nice and that the scarf is actually FUN, and that questions what, we can also do that as there is nothing stopping us but belief. She how much an interference of judgement that is not processing the practical reality can become as a lack of real expression? 

A mind consciousness system is a system of interference as a mis-use of the imagination, it is not some big scary thing that we must fear or treat as some interrupting thing, because it is so visible! It is toxic and it is a disrespect of life, and it must be made known in every action. 

When i took apart how this person so clearly described the behaviors of this other person, and described the projections and the resistance to real living relationships that are relationships of clearly processing our memories AND using what is more natural as an ability to LEARN, it downsized the whole scenario and understanding the behaviors, to the extent that the emotional reactions about this, suddenly became much smaller. Thus, to speak up about this, in every moment, is an act of improving the use of one’s memory, AND opening up one’s natural ability to LEARN, to understand, to make simple, to realize the practical. 

Tomorrow I am going to talk about my experience with formulaic troll letters, as they are a math to trigger all manner of emotional reactions, thereby slowing down one’s ability to process and learn.  

Thank you for reading. Get your word recognition skills moving. Listen to the math of separation that is a mind consciousness system. It is not rocket science, it is visible and able to be understood. None of us really want to be an emotional firewall resisting the life around us. What we really want is to be who and what we really are. And, we need one another, all of us, to be the potential behind that wall of interference of mis-takes on the practical and living reality around us. 

What am I standing as? Day 749

So, there is this fear, it is such a wall, or appears to be so. Despite the life that is me, seeing this, at the same time, moving through this appears to be impossible. Yet, like any knot, some things take time to unwind. Opening them up to realize the twists and turns, is a part of the process. 

I ask myself, where am I holding onto a fear of loss, where am I comparing myself to someone or something, an idea or a person? Where am I rushing and expecting something other than what is right here? I realize in life, sometimes the means to the end is realized, yet all the meanderings involved in completing something some times run into glitches, which is okay, as this in essence is dealing with fine tuning the balance, and being patient in returning to a more natural presence in a real relationship with this physical reality. I remind myself that in not being present here, and instead reacting based on fear, is a state of missed opportunities, to realize the potency of life around me that is me. 

I notice that once I realize my own emotional firewalls, I can notice the same in others. There is a term called ‘ zone of proximal development.’ This means that one can only see what one has realized within one’s self and move from that point forward. What is cool about acknowledging my own emotional and feeling layered fire/energy wall, projected outwardly in protection and defense as fear, is that it is more natural to see the same in others, and even notice when I have lost them, or them me, depending on which way I choose to look at this. Realizing this, helps me to realize that I can change in a moment, and not fear standing as something, to understand and then change. After all, is not self forgiveness the restoration of a natural ability to process and as the nature of this, restore a natural changeability? I notice that, within practicing working with numbers, that my processing speeds improve, as momentum builds and I am more able to hold greater sequences within me, and move within them backwards and forwards. This is the learning process, and it is the same in learning all things. once momentum builds, more insight is gained, which is the whole ‘ sum of all parts’ coming into a greater recognition and therefor greater processing ability. One must practice the small, even within slow and ‘ faster’ processing and master this within one’s self. Sounds like being able to be the ‘ moving through the eye of the needle’ as self as expression as a state of being able to consider all things, as the physical, to take that which is good and does no harm. And even within such recognition, to realize that i have no idea how far this can go. 

I have been looking at what I remember, how I remember during the day.. Sometimes I find myself realizing that I do not remember what i did a few minutes before, and I have to slow down and see where I was and why I do not remember, because I was not present in the physical. The physical as the real marker of life, as what is here, being present in and with what is here.  In a way, this reminds me of being a section leader in a musical group, and remaining grounded and stable within the form, as that state of focus being what is sustainable and grounding. It is using one’s will in a gentle and humble way. It breeds less work, as an idea of work. The fear is really the acceptance of an idea of a threat, and that threat made larger than life. In this, I can see where placing children in a  box, for 12 years, imprinting a story, is really a crime, a deep state crime against life. 

I was talking with someone in my world, and they were saying that they needed to study history through story. In other words, they cannot read about history as a direct history book. There are two aspects of this, as our history is written by the victors, and within this, there are contrary perspectives that have been so accepted there exists a normalcy bias, thus, counter narratives are actually illegal. This to me is suspect, like a lie being screamed, and the use of story to build a wall, which suggests something is being hidden with a purpose. Given the gross inequality placed through tiny steps over time, is it so far fetched to suspect what we are forced to believe is in itself a psychological game of mis-information? Where am I doing this within myself? And, how is this relationship I bring forward here, related to only being able to hold info in the form of a story, rather than direct reading of sequenced events? A story has a time line of events, of conflict and resolution, so a story holds an accepted inbuilt scaffold to guide into a form. 

Yet, the physical world is right here, and is the real story. The physical as what is hidden in plain sight and which stories of events are the tale told and what is considered to be normal, when they are not the story of creation as the physical. We all know, and understand that we are removed from nature. What is nature, but the physical real life story? I mean, why do a few, want to be creators, determining the story on the information highway? What is actually being done by the victors? They are telling a story, a sequence of events that build a picture of gain in self interest, playing with the physical as though it is here for them to manage, when inherent in the design is the means of management. This would be a direct relationship with each one, to the physical, the realization that the means of life, is the value, and the only choice is to work with the real visible story of creation as the physical world. In this, the media is a stream of the means of a consciousness of separation. 

A media is not a bad in itself, it is what it is within what is does, as what it expresses.. Does the media make us more aware or does it involve us in stories of information that do nothing to help us remember what we did, in real time, ten minutes ago? What is it that we allow ourselves to process? Are we in respect of this reality, or are we watching shadows on a wall in a self imposed cage, called the information highway, while our rivers and forests are drying up, and many animals becoming extinct? In some ways, if we look around, and watch, pay attention to nature, we can begin to realize how many of our trees are not as healthy as they could be. We have the natural sensibility to see this, to realize this. What is that in itself? 

I have to ask myself if the degree of my separation evident in the measure of my separation as an emotional firewall of energy that consumes the life that is me, to the extent that I cannot remember what i did then minutes ago? 

In this I have to practice standing as what i have accepted and allowed, and realize there is only the choice to be present here, grounding myself within calling out by name what i stand as, as a measure, and developing who and what I am as the potential of and as me, within and as rebuilding a relationship equal and one with the physical. 

Thank you for reading.