Protean is changeability. Day 798

More on what is means to be changeable

I am naturally able to change in a moment. The use of my words reveals my ability to change, as words are a reflection of my perspective about what is around me, they are the means of expression as me, because I am a human being. 

My skill with words, reveals the means and mode of my changeability in many ways. Yet, it is myself and on what I choose to focus, that becomes who and what I am, using this means of expression as my physical body, my instrument of and as being the life that is here that is me. I am physical, a physical embodiment of life, that is what I am here. It is for me to respect that which I am, all of it. If I allow my imagination to be larger than this life that is me here, I am disrupting life, a life that I cannot remember what lead me to be what I am here, thus, it is to realize and respect the physical that is the means of what I am here. My imagination, as the cumulative experiences I have embraced and followed, resonant within as me, can be a self created mirage,  which did not exist at birth and are the consequences of my environment, can become the mirage of information that I either realize as this, or believe to be more real than myself here, as the physical embodiment of what I am in totality. The physical is the reality of me, before imagination builds resonant mirages of information, with and as an inherent physical ability to absorb information, as my environmental information. Being able to absorb, as reflect the physical environment and the way the physical environment moves, even with imagined resonance, as mirages of belief, I come to absorb and either blindly accept or realize the differences and always look to the physical to ensure no harm is being done to what is real. I am an instrument that absorbs what is a perspective shared that is always about reality - a resonant construct about reality - maintaining a presence in the means as the physical instrument that is who and what I am here is my responsibility.

I can change that instrument with careful practice, informing the machine, as the physical instrument, to enable that instrument to move with presence as what I am as a physical state of being because what I practice can automate, and does come to automate me here. Or, I can allow myself to believe that my resonant mirage as beliefs, are larger than the life that enables me as the physical. It is interesting, because I remember creating music on an instrument. What could happen is that I would automate what I created, as specific forms. I could get caught in them, and not be able to change with ease, which meant that I had not developed a real processing of the means, as be able to instantly create new forms. I was repeating singular ways of expression. change from that appeared difficult, when the difficulty was moving counter to my own creations. A point of change is a point of most resistance, thus resistance is a way and means of realizing counter intuitive movements. Meaning, movement counter to one’s mirage. Or, what one expects, is not in alignment with practical reality. Same difference. What is friction but this? 

How I move, what I am able to do with ease, is a program of skills that I developed and utilized. This is changing the physical, or becoming a master of who and what I express with my physical body. Or, I can become an expression of abstracts about the physical, which is not being equal to the physical, as it is practicing changing only a resonance within me. Thus, change can be within my mirage, my mirror image of and as beliefs, a thing, a resonant object that is a form, and never the real thing, or I can be a real change as real skill development that brings the physical as me to move in practical applications with ease, being a master of me as who and what I really am in totality. This is respect of the physical.

I can see where I have allowed myself to believe the resonance, the mirage, within me is larger than reality, and how what I practice becomes the skills that are my capacity to effectively self direct as who and what I am as the totality of me here, as being a physical expression of and as life. What is interesting is how much a resonant construct when believed to be more real than reality, can be projected outwards, believed to be larger than life, and yet be so in separation from reality, it causes conflict in understanding and that conflict a distraction from the practical, consuming the life of the instrument, to the detriment of life, which is physical because this is the means of myself being here, in expression, as this came before the accumulated series of beliefs, opinions and ideas, that can create a separation from reality.  I am not processing what is life; the physical. Yet, I am the means to do so.

All of this reveals changeability. And it requires constant reference to this reality, to ensure skill sets ( a programing equal to communication with the physical, or probiotic resonance ) that are in respect of the physical reality. What I eat, what I think, what I choose, are all moments of change, and thus, my choices will determine who and what I function as within me, and what will be the effects of the physical instrument that is me here. The very resonant state of me, reveals what choices I have made, as the level of my synchronicity to life is reflected through the condition of my physical body. 

I am the creator of the change that is me, as this. And this is something that no one can be responsible for but myself. All of this reveals the very protean nature of who and what I am as a physical manifestation of life, where what I resonate shows me to myself. It is actually very simple. What complicates this is arguing for the state of lack that is the mirage made larger than life, which is a physical life. 

No one can be responsible for me but me, and I am the very means of being the necessary change to and towards what is best for me. What is best for me, is what is best for all, as I am the same, as equal, to all as who and what is the very fabric of me here, which is physical manifestation. In a sea of resonant mirages, the sea shore is always here, in plain sight. Thus, just as I realized my own automations within performing, as practiced and made resonant constructs, so can I be the necessary change to always relate to the resonance constructs within me, as my practices in the past, and cross reference the physical reality with and as every breath, here. I am protean.

Osho Tarot Card

Looking at the word 'meaning' Day 789

Meaning and Compassion

What is meaning? Or is meaning already here, as the physical in expression?  Something that cannot really be described because if one is focused on that, the act of describing is inherent in the doing, and therefor cannot really be described, because the focus is in the ‘ magic’ of doing. With such focus, that slowing down to describe separates one form that state where things are done, as nothing was ever done within thinking about it. 

Thus, to define ‘ meaning ‘ is the disconnect, in a way, it can only be shown. 

I remember after getting lost in automated playing, at the end of my teens, and moving into realizing what I had done, as what I had accepted , as what I had allowed myself to get lost in. Since, no one else is responsible for me but myself, and real happiness is being focused, When I lose control of my own directing framework, I have to ask myself, where I had gone. As I said, I remember in my late teens, realizing that something was out of synch, as I had allowed an automated playing to supersede my own self direction with presence. 

In my twenties, early twenties, I was trying to catch myself up. It took time. At one point, I realized that though teachers were useful cross references, ultimately, I was my own director.  Instead of only following the instructions of a teacher, I started to go to recitals, and watch, listen and absorb the focus of other players.   In a way, I would call it watching focus, meaning, watching the total focus of a performer.  This began to accelerate my own playing, back into moving out of playing in automated ways, that ended up ‘ catching me up’ within myself.  It is much like our cultural values, built from environments of the past. The rituals and practices of the past, made larger than life, than that life, that environment from which such actions were built,  superseding the real presence that built the physical practices.  One separates from being that which created the cultural behaviors, where the cultural behaviors have value, yet when automated, create a separation from real creation, as this measure of values, causes a disconnect from real living practice. Some say, that our schools, created to serve an industrial model, this in itself a form of monopoly as ideas about freely given resource use by the hands of men, are a form that is in automation, not moving in accord with what is necessary for human development in the present paradigm. ( I also have to ask myself if this is limited in scope as well, because perhaps the overall model was a consequence of a loss of real self direction - the kind that used a natural absorbent/learning capacity within a principle that inherently considered all things, as the golden rule; to take that which is good and does no harm.)  To sort out what was happening to me took time. As how we work, is not taught, if anything, our present system is the opposite of what teaches us about who and what and how we are and work.  And, yet, the means is the same. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Spare real measure and the capacity absorbs a mis-measure, causing friction and conflict with real focus, which is another way of becoming out os synch with creation. It is all practical, and really very simple. We are all spoiled by a ‘ rod’ that is not the real thing, as the actual physical reality. if we look, we realize that this is in fact the case.  Try and speak this, and you will find that you can only speak what has been practiced. This, is amazing in a way, because it is the ‘ showing of what one is to one’s self.  

One begins to move in a slower motion, so-to-speak, in that ritual built from the practical environment,  that becomes an automation that ends up separating one from reality. Then, naturally conflict and friction begins. As with myself, suddenly, I met ‘ equations, as musical forms, and my own presence in what I was doing, had a hard time synchronizing with the new. Then, my own dismay, caused further disconnections! Then, I could not explain what was happening, and wanted to hide, in fear of my overall mis-take in focus being revealed.   This is why, the small must be mastered, because in moving with the smallest of things, one has greater changeability when meeting with the more complex! Or, in meeting the new, the unexpected, the movement into creation, as refining what is consistent, and reforming, into new forms.  This way that we work, can be abused,  even when we are all the same, we are all of the same building blocks.  We are individual and yet one,  we are the means of the small, that can be individual and yet come together to create. 

I was looking at the word meaning yesterday, and found it a difficult word to define. Most probably because it is a living thing, instead of something that can be placed into a written definition, as the definition can only be what it is not. It is like the word is me and .... It is the definition of me, and all that is me, being focused here.  If I look at the statement ‘ the means to the end ‘  I see this to mean, my starting point is my ending point.  If I move into a real mastery of something, I fine tune that expression, as the real head of the top of a pyramid of what I build into such a fine tuned point , that my actions fit through the proverbial eye-of-the-needle into life.  It is to say, that I master the small through becoming equal to the parts, the units of building, which brings the small forward, and then I slowly master that, my neurons pairing back, into clean structures that I would call ‘ zip files’ that then becomes a clear movement, that is focused and clearly directed, and that allows a real presence within all things - in terms of my focus- that it a means towards real understanding, as equality with all things, that is that point that fits through the needle, into life. That is real building and that is what the representative triangle, means, as a real living process that is a math that is right here in plain sight.  This is my perspective at the moment.

That is my, if not somewhat clumsy definition of what real meaning is and does, at this point in my process. What  I do remember, within learning music, is that as I focused, even within political storms moving around me, is that this focus, where I moved into realizing I directed what I did, and moved into absorbing as watching and taking in with a more total real focus in real time, from those who had mastered more of what I was attempting, and  as moving beyond only looking at building from being caught in mapping out every inch of me was when things began to move more, and this is where, I began to not only be aware of myself, and the others players, but also, the movement of the people in the audience. It was a process of becoming aware of the space around me, as when the structure of a more stable and sound understanding, with self directive principle, as being and living greater self responsibility, that expansion happened. 

Also, it is here, that one finds greater calm, as we are happy when we are focused, and unhappy when we are not. As that projection of chasing qualities in others, is really the self seeking what the self has abdicated which is a natural ability to process the information that is the self, and this reality, in plain sight.  Thus, in a way, competition is an illusion, and we need one another, to open ourselves up to ourselves, to move as a flock of birds, joining together to perform a synchronized dance of life, here.  A pyramid schematic, is really a tool in a way, it is not something to monopolize earth resources into a limited schematic, to force into a one-size system. In this, there is no good or bad, as there is only creation, that is physical here.  One must find, one’s zone of proximal development, because that is the point where one can move further and it is always right here.  It is using one’s absorbent ability and realizing the structures of this reality. It is processing what is here, realizing that, just as we learn to crawl, we sometimes fall down, as in a process of ‘ side effects’ we learn real balance, which is awesome!  

This is also why a financial system can both control being out of control as having forgotten this, and a means of great manipulation for those wanting to play god, in a system where god is the means to the end as the creation in expression as the physical.  Becoming value judgements, creates and allows hyperbole and ad hominems, that are a movement into dimensions of separation from what is a real presence in this reality.  These are not to fear, as they are gifts to reveal imbalances.  This is where one can revitalize a natural ability to absorb what is practical, as slowing down to re-synch with reality. To reform the small, as slowing down to speed up.  The heart cannot be flooded with sadness. as that is a misplaced compassion. This mis-use of compassion, is heavy, and a belief that one cannot ‘ do the math’ of discovering solutions that are always here.  This takes patience and persistence in this present reality. The joy being to realize and walk the steps, the outcome being an effective practice. 

Inherent in the word ' meaning' is  'me and',' which I see as me and here, or me and the physical, me and you. This being living oneness and equality.  This being, employing the golden rule.  If I ' come-pass (that) on ' in every step, with every breath, focused here, realizing that I can recognize automation within myself, I am, the most perfect of forms, to become the expression of the meaning of life here. 

What am I standing as? Day 749

So, there is this fear, it is such a wall, or appears to be so. Despite the life that is me, seeing this, at the same time, moving through this appears to be impossible. Yet, like any knot, some things take time to unwind. Opening them up to realize the twists and turns, is a part of the process. 

I ask myself, where am I holding onto a fear of loss, where am I comparing myself to someone or something, an idea or a person? Where am I rushing and expecting something other than what is right here? I realize in life, sometimes the means to the end is realized, yet all the meanderings involved in completing something some times run into glitches, which is okay, as this in essence is dealing with fine tuning the balance, and being patient in returning to a more natural presence in a real relationship with this physical reality. I remind myself that in not being present here, and instead reacting based on fear, is a state of missed opportunities, to realize the potency of life around me that is me. 

I notice that once I realize my own emotional firewalls, I can notice the same in others. There is a term called ‘ zone of proximal development.’ This means that one can only see what one has realized within one’s self and move from that point forward. What is cool about acknowledging my own emotional and feeling layered fire/energy wall, projected outwardly in protection and defense as fear, is that it is more natural to see the same in others, and even notice when I have lost them, or them me, depending on which way I choose to look at this. Realizing this, helps me to realize that I can change in a moment, and not fear standing as something, to understand and then change. After all, is not self forgiveness the restoration of a natural ability to process and as the nature of this, restore a natural changeability? I notice that, within practicing working with numbers, that my processing speeds improve, as momentum builds and I am more able to hold greater sequences within me, and move within them backwards and forwards. This is the learning process, and it is the same in learning all things. once momentum builds, more insight is gained, which is the whole ‘ sum of all parts’ coming into a greater recognition and therefor greater processing ability. One must practice the small, even within slow and ‘ faster’ processing and master this within one’s self. Sounds like being able to be the ‘ moving through the eye of the needle’ as self as expression as a state of being able to consider all things, as the physical, to take that which is good and does no harm. And even within such recognition, to realize that i have no idea how far this can go. 

I have been looking at what I remember, how I remember during the day.. Sometimes I find myself realizing that I do not remember what i did a few minutes before, and I have to slow down and see where I was and why I do not remember, because I was not present in the physical. The physical as the real marker of life, as what is here, being present in and with what is here.  In a way, this reminds me of being a section leader in a musical group, and remaining grounded and stable within the form, as that state of focus being what is sustainable and grounding. It is using one’s will in a gentle and humble way. It breeds less work, as an idea of work. The fear is really the acceptance of an idea of a threat, and that threat made larger than life. In this, I can see where placing children in a  box, for 12 years, imprinting a story, is really a crime, a deep state crime against life. 

I was talking with someone in my world, and they were saying that they needed to study history through story. In other words, they cannot read about history as a direct history book. There are two aspects of this, as our history is written by the victors, and within this, there are contrary perspectives that have been so accepted there exists a normalcy bias, thus, counter narratives are actually illegal. This to me is suspect, like a lie being screamed, and the use of story to build a wall, which suggests something is being hidden with a purpose. Given the gross inequality placed through tiny steps over time, is it so far fetched to suspect what we are forced to believe is in itself a psychological game of mis-information? Where am I doing this within myself? And, how is this relationship I bring forward here, related to only being able to hold info in the form of a story, rather than direct reading of sequenced events? A story has a time line of events, of conflict and resolution, so a story holds an accepted inbuilt scaffold to guide into a form. 

Yet, the physical world is right here, and is the real story. The physical as what is hidden in plain sight and which stories of events are the tale told and what is considered to be normal, when they are not the story of creation as the physical. We all know, and understand that we are removed from nature. What is nature, but the physical real life story? I mean, why do a few, want to be creators, determining the story on the information highway? What is actually being done by the victors? They are telling a story, a sequence of events that build a picture of gain in self interest, playing with the physical as though it is here for them to manage, when inherent in the design is the means of management. This would be a direct relationship with each one, to the physical, the realization that the means of life, is the value, and the only choice is to work with the real visible story of creation as the physical world. In this, the media is a stream of the means of a consciousness of separation. 

A media is not a bad in itself, it is what it is within what is does, as what it expresses.. Does the media make us more aware or does it involve us in stories of information that do nothing to help us remember what we did, in real time, ten minutes ago? What is it that we allow ourselves to process? Are we in respect of this reality, or are we watching shadows on a wall in a self imposed cage, called the information highway, while our rivers and forests are drying up, and many animals becoming extinct? In some ways, if we look around, and watch, pay attention to nature, we can begin to realize how many of our trees are not as healthy as they could be. We have the natural sensibility to see this, to realize this. What is that in itself? 

I have to ask myself if the degree of my separation evident in the measure of my separation as an emotional firewall of energy that consumes the life that is me, to the extent that I cannot remember what i did then minutes ago? 

In this I have to practice standing as what i have accepted and allowed, and realize there is only the choice to be present here, grounding myself within calling out by name what i stand as, as a measure, and developing who and what I am as the potential of and as me, within and as rebuilding a relationship equal and one with the physical. 

Thank you for reading.

Day 695 The allowance of self discovery.

The allowance of self discovery.

In slowing down and learning to listen, I realized a point in building relationships with others. It is also a relationship with myself. I slow down and  listen to what thoughts, opinions and ideas accumulate and are allowed that then define experience.

In this, listening to another is to bring self discovery forward. It is seeing what is here, as this physical world, and living the value being life. The means is to define one’s words as a starting point, to ensure that everyone is of equal measure in understanding. 

Within this, if I react within wanting acknowledgement for information I am already acting superior, and creating a state of inferiority and control of information. I am  racing ahead within this desire for acknowledgement. I am abdicating my presence to here, in effect.  I am allowing  information to become more than the value being understanding a clear measure that lends self responsibility. 

Why? Because the physical world is given, it is us, it is right here, and it reveals by its nature, freely, its own form and function. In other words its measure is right here in front of us. The only quest in this regard is to discover the physical for oneself. No one can be that discovery but one’s self. 

Listening to another person is a lot like listening to one’s self, as each is a measure of values accepted and allowed as how one defines what has been discovered in their world, or resistances towards understanding the simple, what is the same in everyone, and that is that we are physical beings on a physical planet.  After all, words are esoteric by design. Words reflect one’s accepted measure within. Only self can change this.

Day 661 Moving into reaction instead of solution.

Moving into reaction instead of solution.

Yesterday I met someone while out in my world and had a conversation where  I talked about some behaviors with a certain person in relation to dealing with someone we both knew.

After the conversation, as I walked in the market, I suddenly had a movement within me that was heavy. It moved down from the top of me head, into my solar plexus. There in the supermarket, I had to slow way down and breath, as in that moment it became difficult to walk. Meanwhile, within remaining in breath, I realized that I had become a measure within as a belief, or played out a habit that I did not catch, I did not align into what is best for all.

Looking back, I realize I had allowed myself to move into fear. I had allowed myself to see doom and gloom within a situation instead of moving into solution that brought the reward of moving within the relationships around me with ease.

The situation was one where I had spoken with a person many times, agreed upon an arrangement, and that person would come back some time later and change her mind. I would then build an acceptable agreement, only to have the same thing happen again. I could feel myself starting to react. I felt like I was in a game that went nowhere.

When I met this other friend in the market, I started to question her about this other person, and she agreed with my assessment. She even asked the same question. Thus, there I stood as a reaction, becoming a blame, and moving from being directive to becoming someone who labeled something as being limiting. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this, as assessing behaviors is not a bad, and cross referencing is not bad. It was the fear I had there in the back of my mind, of a potential for a loss of opportunity, and the movement into feeling unworthy as being the cause of the ‘ wall’ in front of me. 

My assessment of this person may be correct, and may also need, at the same time, additional respect as to what is the starting point of their responses.  Yet this does not define who and what I am in terms of my worth as this is an idea within myself, and has nothing to do with directing myself here.  I can only be here, unless I believe that what is in my temple as that which is formed within me as idea, belief or opinion, which is a form of usury.  If I believe what I am formed as within, as my imagination only,  I am usurious of life around me as the physical world, because instead of remaining here in common sense, as respect of the physical, valuing all life, I am believing a measure within me and imposing this onto reality- I am selling my soul- my inner creation, instead of respecting the means of that soul, the physical. Hence my inner measure which is composing a picture show, is in total separation from reality and the consequence of this will all ways be a limitation, and that limitation because it has no real grounding, will cause insecurity, anxiety and fear. I will not see clearly here. I will cause friction with reality, I will not fit into living, I will not fit into creation. I will become stagnant. I will lose opportunity. I will separation from life. I will it. I allow it. I accept it. What is of the temple within, must be equal to the temple without as the physical. All things must be respected, everything. 

Thus, within this situation, I had to slow way down. I had to see, realize and understand where I was taking things personally, as potentially defining me as having no worth. This is myself believing that how I defined myself was more than reality, and that this was potentially going to be lost, ignored, or discredited. Non of this has anything to do with reality, with being here as a physical beingness.

Perhaps there is reason within this woman’s choices. That is okay. Perhaps there is overprotection going on within this person. That is okay, caution is necessary. Yet, within myself this behavior is just this, a measure of belief, and not one that determines who and what I am here. I either meet with the person I wanted to see, or I do not. Either way, I am here, living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction and then to move into managing my own reaction, instead of remaining here, assessing and doing that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become frustrated when I believe I have resolved an issue only to have that issue come up again and again, despite working through ideas and believing, and even at times, moving into superiority, in relation to a disagreement between two parties.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have wanted agreement, without slowing down to realize the perspective of others, in more detail around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a measure, as a perspective that had nothing to do with me, define who and what I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as my own self interest, without slowing down and assessing a situation and the reactions as the behaviors of others, to a greater degree, to find solutions that moved with more equity than reaction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is something wrong with me,  which was myself being what I was projecting onto the person and their behaviors around me, thus was I being what I criticized and not moving into understanding and solutions that created the reward of living with ease, here, on this physical planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that self interest, I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush in my own self interest, despite having taken time to assess, as the behaviors around me revealed that more assessment was needed, or to consider the interest of another, within their comfort zones, and to ease this, within and as a understanding of how a mind consciousness moves, as this is what I would have wanted for self, and within this, the way and the means to remove resistances, as in building trust, which takes time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost, as within this, when and as I react within an idea that something is lost, I am not moving in consideration of all things, and building an understanding that lends self direction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to blame instead of continuing to understand until all things are clear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become annoyed, when and as I find myself having to reassess something and remain within and as what is trustworthy, as in never needing to lie, as myself as a directive principle in and as life, takes that which is good, in measure and builds what imparts a sense of ease, which is sharing a presence that solves instead of resists.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become lost within a limited measure of belief, opinion and idea within and as what I have accepted and allowed as a version of reality in the temple of my mind, a mind consciousness in separation from the means of life, of respecting all things, including the physical as the physical is life information, as the physical is the potential of life information.

When and as I find myself reacting, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess what I speak, to ensure that my words move from problem to solution to reward.

When and as I find myself polarizing a value, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess if I am within reaction to a problem, or moving instead into solution of a problem.

When and as I find myself moving into fear, as in imagining a doom and gloom scenario of loss, or lack of communication, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down until I am here, grounded, and can direct in ways that are not myself manipulating in self interest in protection and self defense based on an idea within and as the temple of a mind consciousness of limited values that I have accepted and allowed to define me instead of remaining grounded in life, the physical.

When and as I find myself becoming ashamed of what I have accepted and allowed, as a mind consciousness of belief, opinion and idea in limitation, ignoring what is real as the physical life information around me, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that remaining in shame is not grounding myself here, in a practice of respecting all things as the physical.

When and as I find myself calling something by name, which may happen, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that I can only ground myself into speaking what moves from problem into solution in stable ways that lead to rewards for all concerned as much as I am able, here, in this moment here.

When and as I find myself allowing a situation to define who and what I am, I see, realize and understand that this is information I accepted and allowed based on a past, where I acted in the self interest as a mind consciousness in separation from respect for all things.

When and as I find myself seeking validation from another, I stop and I breath, and I realize my starting point as being one of self interest or assessment into perspective as a cross reference and within this I allow no blame and spite , I slow down and move within and as what is solution in terms of what is best for all, here.

When and as I find myself moving into guilt for not having slowed down and investigated further, beyond reaction, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I, instead of resisting in self interest, I place myself in the other’s shoes for a moment, and accept the perspective to realize solutions that lead to what is best for all here.

Day 657 Where am I constant?

I notice there are times when I do not react to another’s behavior. I noticed I become very patient  It is like water rolling off of me. More often, I either do not respond, or in the same calm way that I am within not reacting, I speak up and reform what is said, in the third person. It is as though I am not placing any blame on the person, it is more that I look at the information and reform it, or take it into something that is no longer inflammatory, or inflated into a polarity as some aspect being made a huge value.

So, I ask myself why I am not this way all the time? What triggers do I maintain that I then fear happening?

Reacting to information in a judgmental way, a self protective criticism is used like a shield, usually to point out a mis-take as an enlarged value that is stupid/stooped in its limited perspective.  And this is because I have done the same, or am wanting to hide how I did the opposite, and want the attention turned towards the other.

Meanwhile, I am aware that the mind consciousness of self interest, will scream it’s own limitation, thus what I am doing when I react, is screaming my own limitations, wanting to hide through projection of a wrong onto someone else. It is like a rise in energy, within, only to be followed by embarrassment, hoping no one realizes. Everyone usually does realize, they silently just want it to pass, not having to sort this all out. And I have done the same. Sorting this all out seems impossible, when it simply means realizing the game of self interest, a self within believing that some value defines self and the existence of a potential for that to be lost. 

Those times in contrast, when I listen, without judgement, and review the information presented, take the information as a form, something that is mutable, meaning, not something fixed and eternal, is done with more ease, calm, serenity and stability.

Naturally, within such a state of being, I am more fluid, more creative, more able to see from more than one perspective. I am more able to be self honest. I am not within an energy of needing to lie, thus the experience has no sense of being a burden.

One is more self directive and the other is more reactive. One has more of a sense of rushing, of forcing an opinion outward, and the other is more able to stop, slow down, hold onto a perspective, and maintain it within changing as one moves through a review of it. One has more a sense of constancy.

Thus, when I face a reactive environment, either self generated or happening around me, I have to slow way down and stop, until I have that sense of seeing the information in a non-reactive way, indicative in an ability to retain the information and either speak up about it, or if someone else should speak up, let it go. In this, the reforming of information, or adding perspective, is about the information and not the object from which the information comes, and this in relation to the information that comes from other men via descriptive language.

Those times when the information coming towards me, or a storm rising within me, appears to be too much, means that I have some investigative action to take. even when this information comes in the form of hope, as a positive energy, all dreamy like, like a potential is going to happen, when this is an expectation dream based on countering past mis-takes reordered to stand once again. 

Usually, this is accompanied by a tiredness of sorting this all out.

Interesting here, that I have this image of myself as a child, with all this information coming at me, like a huge weight and I am supposed to sort this out. And it appears really huge and indecipherable.  I remember also, before I started to walk the process of deconstructing the mind consciousness I accepted and allowed, was being so sick of this heavy thing within me, that one day I just went into it, just wanted it to go away, so I went into it, instead of trying to hide from it. I mean, I would wake up in the morning feeling like I could not move, knowing this was an illusion, and wanting to know what this was overall. Sometimes I would lie there sensing the weight of it, because it had this huge weight. What was this thing?

Now, there are times when I realize that this weight is an information that is what I have created, because it is what I access to direct me, as it is the information that is me, as what I have accepted and allowed.

Hence, this is the same on all of us, in those around me. So, within this understanding there are times when I am calm and do not react to this in others. So, there are moments when I address this as information, where somewhere I myself am aware of this. I am aware that the behaviors of others, is information that is then directing the person. I do not react, and even have a sense that this is a storm, something that will pass, and that listening to the words, will reveal the form, and that this can be reformed. And I do not feel threatened in such situations.

What I am doing when I react is battling for one personification of values to be more than another, instead of realizing that everything as information is a personification of values, and accept it as that, and learn from it, enjoy it. Yet, I either allow myself to be conditioned by a limited set of personified values, to survive, or I remind myself here as a man, with a set of values that is me, that is what I am here, as this including the physical world. And, to realize that what hued-men/humans have done is become a bubble of a storm of energetic personified values, like a walking picture show of values, usurious to the very life of the physical man walking under the weight of this “ heavenly’ personification. If this is how one has programmed oneself, because we do program ourselves otherwise how would anyone master the violin- for instance, then, I would wake up in the morning with this huge weight above me, that scared me and that at times was of an information that could not direct me - obvious in my resistance to other information around me! My behavior would be to react in protection and self defense when not fitting into this world or the same limited value personified behaviors in others because it is not equal to reality, as the value of life as the physical real information that is the real me.

Thus, when I find myself not being calm, and serene, and in a quiet assessment of information, I have to stop, to breath, and assess my own accepted and allowed information, even when feeling overwhelmed by a weighted form around me, until I have slowed enough to address it and move in a way that is stable, that can stand. A within what carries no weight, as what can remain eternal is always there as those times when I became a natural ability to assess. That “weight”, is but very thin, meaning of no real weight, it is only my resistance to it, that has it appear to be a weight. And also, those times when such information rolled off me like water, yet was readable, able to be reformed as though it was me, yet understood this was only for a moment.

Day 412 Missing the structure of here.

Last night i heard that this boy in town had been hit by a car. Then I heard about how wonderful this boy was, how special, how smart. Then the complaining about the speed limits on the highway and how people do not pay attention when driving, listening to cell phones, texting.

I had been on this same spot on the highway and almost hit a car going 45 miles an hour. The car had been this chartreuse color, the same as the new spring leaves at that time, I did not see it on the horizon, and then I was watching the oncoming traffic because there was a train of cars, behind a huge prefab house on the back of a truck, the house unit on the truck extending outwards more than the width of the lane, so the truck was driving slowly as it just barely fit on the lane with the pre-constructed house section. My eyes had missed the small car waiting to make a left  that meshed with the color of the trees, as I watched this oncoming very large truck. It must have been about ten feet before the car that I noticed, and so I turned my steering wheel and headed for the trees, luckily I managed to pull myself out of the swerving motion, me heart pounding violently. I in essence had not really looked carefully, there was no one to blame but myself. I had made a habitual cursory look at my world. I can’t blame the car, or the car companies for making a car the same color as the new foliage. I can’t blame the partial house moving down the highway, I can’t blame anything but myself, I am a body, a human, who has arms and legs and eyes and ears, I steer here as a movable physical object able to sense the world, that is if I have been developed to use this structure of myself.

So, in hearing about this boy, I realized, that yes this is tragic, that this child attempted to cross a busy secondary highway without a cross walk and ended up getting hit and is now supposedly brain dead. We cannot really blame the highway, or the speed limit, or the summer roadrage from increased traffic. We cannot look to one aspect and blame that, we have to look at the totality of this world and understand the total picture and why what is here is here, understand the forms and the functions of the structure of what is here, what we have done with this, on all levels and realize how it is out of balance. This is just common sense. 

So, one complaint was that we needed signs on the road. I was getting angry at this point, I was not being clear, the rant of blame about the lack of signs, the speed limit, the summer tourists and their behavior, the cell phones usage. There was blame placed on limited things, and all the while the boy was talked about as being so special, such a special hardworking child.

It is interesting  living in a small town, the ones that can read, the children that learn to read to some extent, if I look now, they tend to die accidental deaths, and or of cancer, the townies that never do too well at school, the fisherman, the tradesmen, they die in different ways; suicide, inebriation of drugs and alcohol over a period of time. I know one townie boy, he would notice all the animals, like he was aware of the movement of the animals, another man here could use a rod to find water, which must be possible because we know barometric pressure exists, so this must be a sense that can be developed, I mean animals must use this.

This boy, this supposedly book smart boy, obviously misjudged while crossing a street and was hit by a car. He had misread the physical movement around him. Does not matter how many words he had running around in his head, they served no sensibility at that moment. This is not to deny the development of word usage. Our words are too busy being used to describe limited values, as what we label as special, which when asked specifically how someone was special, the answer is often limited because it is not about looking at the structure here, it is about the energy, a unity through an energetic feeling to have a quick fix of pity and sorrow this being what we have allowed to validate us, when this is what separates us from living, from being able to sense the forms and structures around us.

If we are so busy being judgements of what is good and what is bad, even to the point where we gain a energetic sense of being good vicariously through being a judgement of good and this is self interested proof validating self “ goodness” what are we doing? Is this the same as that boy was being the moment he miss-crossed that road, is this what was taught to be within himself, that he no longer had the sense of the physical world, the structure of the physical world here, all the dimensions of it, all the movements of it, because he was being caught in consciousness of limited values, a process where a state of being exists in a warped reality diminishing the substance of the physical into energy, out of balance as a value of good and bad? His whole sense of himself lacking a sense of here, and being a distorted value in - stead. His “ stead” thus reading  ideological values instead of physical, real tangible structures here, the real value, the means to be, real, here, that which is what is of value?

One of the things being said, over and over again, was that more signs were needed on the road. Perhaps the signs on the road are the problem, the signs on the road are showing the separation as the need for directions from without, instead of the development of awareness of the physical world within? Division and separation from physical awareness through limited values made huge through becoming a judgement of what is good and what is bad. We made the wrong choice, we choose the tree of good and evil, instead of becoming equal and one, in sense of the tree of life, the physical, we choose ideas and thus separated into a more than and less than world, and we use signs to keep us here because we as mind are in separation from here.

Thus, the solution is to not blame that there are not enough signs on the road, that the people in the cars are not paying attention because we are, none of us paying attention, an act of blame is a sign that we are not paying attention! We cannot look at and tout that this boy was special, because all boys ( and girls and animals and plants) are special because they are a physical form functioning as life. The sensibility development of this boy is the fault of all of us, and storms in teacups about parts of what is here, are the being in separation, screaming what is wrong and what is special is not looking at here.

If we teach our children to move as emotions and feelings accumulated through directives that are of judgement of what is good and what is bad only, then this is what becomes the focus of the child, and thus the separation of the child from reading the physical structure of here, using the physical body to even be able to sense barometric changes of which the physical is capable of doing, thus the gift of life is taken from us as we allow a system of more than and less than held up by money distribution,  as the manifestation without of our own capacity, like we are throwing away the gift of life. Our self abdication of life is really us throwing away life. The solution is to come back down to earth, and to equalize ourselves to life here, to forgive the acts of emotion and feeling built from thoughts of what is good and what is bad, to accept responsibility as life, through equalizing ourselves to physical reality. Instead of running around looking at energetic emotional/feeling values it is to move in understanding the structure of here as the physical world.

TIme to get out of our mind consciousness separation from equality with physical, real supportive reality, to use the gift of life to read here. The values of more than and less than must be brought back to the physical, the gift to become life here. Walk your projections of self definition as limited values back to self as life - DIP LIte - it is free.

Listen to the interviews about the separation of the human into a mind matrix of imagination of limited ideas causing abuse on earth in ignorance of physical reality, respect for life at Eqafe.

Support a economic structure that supports all life and respects the physical world, a Living Income Guarantee. It is the physical that supports life, and thus belongs to all of us as us, as it is many hands that have created here, as this is how it is done. The words of a delusional president that one hand feeds are are simply the indication of our separation from life as the image of such a statement bears no witness to life in common sense. A real leader gives self responsibility, they do not beLIEve inequality, values of more than and less than into idols of compounded self interest gone delusional.

Day 272 Equal Money Capitalism will end lack of development in Children

The Problem
Behaviors of children in schools are not addressed within the totality of the present system. Consequences as to why behaviors such as acting out frustrations and throwingtantrums, carrying plastic guns, talking back to adults, not doing school work, truancy, and suspension, in totality, are not addressed. The absolute prevention of such behaviors will not exist until everything, as this total system, is looked at within how it functions, how it creates lack, to allow and accept such behaviors. Addressing the consequence, a con-sequence will not solve the problem. Such an action is only trying to force a presentation onto an already frustrated - due to lack- development. Obviously, this is what the present system is trying to do, face consequence without looking at what created such a problem. I have seen the word “ intervention” used within how school learning programs are described, as usual the words tell us what we are doing, as words describe. An “ intervention” is an inter-vent, like sticking a pipe into a polluted mess to allow the gas, the waste to vent. It is not different from dealing with the problems of our schools, where placing an intervention on a consequence, allowing a “vent” only, is not looking at why these children are not as ease, and instead eliminating them into a system that deals with elimination, as prisons. Which has become a norm, prisons are now profitable enterprises, as this has been accepted. In totality, this system is limited and it is not working, it is not creating ease on this earth. It is not developing human children, and it has accepted this non-development, which is clearly a crime against life. There is no way out of this, and this must stop. Period. Profit with consequence, as unaddressed problems that lead to survival behaviors, as what crime is, reveals the problem. Plain and simple.
There are studies all over the internet, in this age of information, about the importance of adequate foods, of stable home environments, of strong communities as what is needed to support children. Thus, within this system that states it is formed for the support of people, we are not actually living this if our children are not leaning how to direct themselves. And we have children that learn to direct themselves, thus this is possible. Since we all learn to walk and talk, and eat and sleep, we are all similar, we are forms of life able to be and achieve, live and move.
Obviously, these children are not being supported. It is known what leads to a life of crime, and it is known that drugs and sexual abuse are very profitable.
In common sense, the problem with children starts at home, if the home is unstable then the children become unstable. Thus, forcing children to behave in school within a system that has not supported them to become reasonable adults, a system that promotes foods that are addicting and lacking in nutrients necessary for a healthy functioning body, and even subsidizes these useless foods to make them cheaper than the true cost of production, thereby essentially controlling what these children eat, as the minimum wage is not enough to buy what is not subsidized - which questionably are foods that are less processed.
This is not a conspiracy, this is what actually exists. This is the directive of a hierarchy, as more than and less than system. This is the present system. And this must end. It is a waste of life, to not take care of life, to not take care of children, to not offer them proper food, to not allow them to come into a stable environment, is a crime against life. It is not supporting life. At present this system actually supports what is “criminal” because it has developed a system of profit from crime, from drugs, from sexual abuse. This list goes on and and on. Our consequences as a system of inequality, have been turned into a profit, for a few, ignoring life, and potential. Thus, this system is not working for life, it does not support life, it does not develop life. Our children, are the products of what we all accept and allow, thus, we must all stand up and together unanimously, as life, vote for what supports life absolutely. To not see this, to not use every breath within changing this system, is a crime against life. Period.

The Solution
How can we blame the child, the student in school for behaviors that merely exhibit a lack of development, as lack of understanding of themselves, of which we as adults are all responsible? How can we blame something that has had no chance at development from day one? How can we blame the child for the minimum wage earner who cannot afford decent food, sustaining food?
The solution is simple. We give as we would like to receive, we give as this earth gives, without judgement. Without judgement means, no matter what skin color, no matter what hair color, no matter what sex, to matter what, we give, we support, we take care of what is here. Absolutely. No excuses, don’t throw relative associations in my face, these are excuses and thus judgements, they are blame, they are the cause. They are steps within consequence, and addressing a singular consequence is not the solution. The solution is to look at this present system and realize it needs to be realigned, as not all of it is “bad.”
What would develop a human being, as a child, to be able to direct itself self responsibly? And what would such a developed human being mean within the present system of inequality? Inequality would not support the development of all children, because then inequality would no longer exist! Thus, we cannot blame these children. They are simply a consequence of a system of unequal life support and development. We are all every one of us, the developed and the non developed to blame. And this must end. It is a crime against life.
The solution is a system of equality, a system that supports life absolutely. Equal Money Capitalism is a name that says it all, it takes what is here, uses this to provide what is given by this earth, that cannot be owned ( the illusion is merely a signature on a piece of paper), and to distribute this to support life.

The Rewards
Our children are developed, communicating, living healthy beings on this earth. They smile, they laugh, they interact, they become interested behaviors, instead of frustrated behaviors, they exhibit their unique expressions, they thrive, they become life.
The reward is a self responsible human being. I mean, what else is there?

Day 251 Thoughts within Self abdication Care actor

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must give attention to the present structure of society within care for one human being more than another.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that being a mother is how I must present myself where my attentions are on taking care of a house, and mychildren only, and within this what is happening in the world, as in understanding the structures of this world as the monetary system and how this effects what is presented within the health system, and the education system are not of my concern, not seeing realizing and understanding that the very existent structures within this world will determine the outcomes of my children and my home, thus within and as caring for what is within my immediate environment is determined by the very structures of what man has built.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in all common sense to have a thought that I am a mother only, or a widow only and within this to believe that my concerns within my role abdicate any responsibility within investigation into and as how this world functions as systems, is myself accepting limitations with and as myself as life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in thinking only about my immediate concerns without understanding what man has created and investigating the total ways and means the present system functions, what directive capacity really exists within and as me?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize what my thoughts are attentions to.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I look to my thoughts and try to understand the totality of this system, by investigating how money moves in this world, how investing works, how usury works, where money is spent within the government budget, why there are people who do not have a roof over their head, instead of making judgements based on the cultural beliefs in which I live, within religion and spirituality, within class and nationality, all of this in tandem within how money moves and distributes life supporting resources, how these resources are processed, to see, realize and understand what is in fact here as a movement of what is here, where as I investigate I will begin to see that many of the ways things are organized on this earth are not what is best for all, and that there is no common sense within and as this.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stop and to see, how my thoughts are all within limited attentions, and should I begin to investigate, I will find it difficult to take in some of the forms of the existent structures, which is something to be curious about in and as itself, because I am life, and thus why would it be that I cannot grasp life, here with ease, especially since children can learn so quickly?
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if I am wanting to save someone or something, this in itself indicates that life is not being supported on this planet, as when there is ease, things move smoothly and this is not what exists on this earth.
I forgive myself for not seeing, realizing and understanding, through standing back and realizing how my thoughts are products of a system that supports inequality, thus myself in separation from understanding what is here as life, where I would be able to understand how separate i have become from life, simply by going and doing some manual task that I have never ever attempted before, like building some steps - for instance- it would mean I would have to slow down and use my common sense, to slowly walk through what needs to be done, but instead I would stop and think “ this is a man’s job” or “ I cannot handle a circular saw” or “ I can’t see and understand the simple zigzag shape of a board cut out to fit steps, when this shape and this saw and this step are simple fucking shapes and if I can’t LOOK and understand this then it is obvious that how I exist and what I allow has become extremely limited, and within this realize this is the mind as consciousness accepting limited beliefs based on social dictates accepted and allowed without common sense.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I meet someone from what is labeled as a “lower level of society” to realize that, just as I might not be able to walk through the steps of building a set of steps, such humans have never walked through within self direction within specific understanding and realization of what it means to take care of self, a state of ease and self direction has never existed for them, which means the present systems are not in fact taking care of life on this earth, as in not developing common sense, and if anything, such present systems are dependent on lack of common sense behaviors as they have been built around them, and even here, the same behaviors of what is essentially an inability to see, in common sense -what is physically here as life and how it functions - supports the outflows of non-seeing and does not look at the cause of lack, the cause of an inability to move self effectively in and as what self is which is life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what i have been taught within class and culture is how to avoid such scenarios, where people have lesser ability to direct themselves as life, as their attentions are disturbed through a desperate attempt at survival, where the question needs to be asked, what came first the chicken or the egg?
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that playing the savior in a bubble, without realizing the totality of the system as its very structure is what needs to change, is futile and will just create a feel good moment, like a hallmark moment, which is just a feeling and obviously such hallmark moments are sold as cards, and have been going on for a long time, even down to the commercials talking about the “oh so good” efforts of this charity or than charity, where I watch this on a tube and feel good for a moment, not seeing realizing and understanding that this is entertainment, within and as a energetic feeling, and this is all it is, thus it has no real value, as it does nothing to change this world in such a way that such presentations of “ we are so good and doing so much” need not exist.

I commit myself to seeing , realizing and understanding that my thoughts, as consciousness, are of limited value, as they actually justify suffering, instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that suffering in any form is not and cannot be life, as suffering is suffering and not self directing self, with ease, in and as life here, thus is it my responsibility in and as life, to investigate this present system that is a creation of men, to understand what I allow to exist in and as thoughts as consciousness of attention on objectification of compound ideals only, without consideration of what is equal and one as what is here , as the physical, which is the substance of life.
I commit myself to see, realize and understand that unless a system exists that allows life to support itself as life, to develop itself as life, what exists is denial of life, and the outflow of this is suffering, which is not life, as suffering is suffering and not life expressing itself as life, here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that when I have a difficult time seeing what is here in common sense, as believing I cannot understand the monetary system - for example- where i might believe “ it is too difficult and complicated” I must stop, breath and slow myself down to walk in specificity the structure of the system, to see, realize and understand what this structure consists of and what it allows within its movement, and that there is no excuse as to why this cannot be done, which begs the question as to what the thought of this is in fact, and to realize this is an accepted an allowed limitation as a belief taught should I return to what i learned within and as belief from parents, society, and education, by others limited in thought, word and deed as the behaviors of belief accepted and allowed that are really judgements as avoiding looking at what exists as what is created by men on this earth, where the resources can only create a value that sustains life through the use of many many hands of men, and thus no one man has developed what is here, and to place such development into a figure as one man, is to create an illusion that does not in common sense look at the totality of how this physical world works in fact, as well, where it can be clearly seen that a thought of “ So and so, having been a great man who built America” for example, holds no common sense of this physical existence, as one man only has two hands and cannot build what is presently in America, as one man cannot live that long, thus the presentation of a story about one man having built America means that in common sense this is about the control of money that one man had, and since money has become god, the man with the control of the money is the idol created in having taken the values created with life sustaining resources and gathered this in having placed this value into/onto a piece of paper and then gathered as much of this as possible and distributed this to direct the hands of men in his own aggrandizement and self interest without consideration for life, where life is the value, and not the imaginary and illusive value placed on one object, as one man being some kind of creator, as what is here was created by the hands of all men.
I commit myself to realizing how illusory the stories behind presented idols are in fact and that such stories , as what is taught within family, education, society, withhold common sense of this physical world and how this functions, where the starting point of all of this is one and the same, each and every human being, fearing to be self responsible as life in common sense, where the present system is simply a reflection of self abdicating self as life, consciousness, as thoughts, emotions and feelings simply a un-substantive/energetic product of this separation from self direction within each and every one of us, consciousness, a collection of limited beliefs, opinions and ideas, based on false idols, as values limited of the specific real eyesing of how this physical world in fact functions, where stories on “ one man nation builders” is an example of a thought of no common sense within the practical aspects of this actual physical world.

Desteni

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