My ikonography of too muchness Day 792

A couple of days ago, I was with my mother.  I had invited her and a visiting sibling over for dinner. 

The conversation then went to other family members, and all the doom and gloom emotional states of being, one of my siblings was , from my mom’s perspective, existing within. I mean, what do mothers often do, but worry about their children, a good, that can become a ‘ song’ a geometry, of sadness. It is so much like a song, because in reality, it is a math, it is a composition. lol,  a community position.  This general care for our family members, and their state of being, is  a good, and yet it is narrow, it does not look at the overall system. It often looks more at the competition between siblings, than the individual strengths, and how we develop into what and who we are, within family networks, and the consequential system of what has become gross inequality.  That system on the greater collective stage, is because of the small movements, practiced and accumulated into something. This is how, any one masters a skill, we have mastered the skill of blame and worry and fear. Just look around.  We, for generations, are generating,  competition, allowing ideologies of belief, to  stand larger than the practical physical reality.  

My mother went into worry about my one sister.  Then, suddenly, it was to also have my sister potentially come to the dinner, and that I was to call her, and sort things out, as she is my twin. 

I could feel myself wanting to run. I could feel that I did not want to participate in this building drama. A drama that one could say is a good, and yet, a spin of perpetual putting out of fires, instead of addressing the root cause.  Sadness is a sense of loss, and in reality, that loss is something to be concerned with. Yet, resolution, takes a meeting of equal understanding into what and who we are, and the consequences of addressing immediate states of lack and reaction, to find the root cause. Analogies could be the health care system. With all the information we have today, as all the consequences of so many of our petrol industry based drugs eventually come out to cause more harm than good, while millions of dollars cross the divide into profits for a few, and the sick get sicker ( I mean look around! ), while all around us, and in the information flow, it is understood that the building blocks of our bodies are of certain synergy with nutrients that naturally occur in well grown plants and animals, as food is real medicine. It is that we are allowing chemicals that are a quick fix to an already accumulated problem, be what is supposedly health, when we are lacking in the essential building blocks that compose the physical reality. This, and the stress and judgements we sound ourselves as, that are NOT a well composed composition that reflects the value being that practical building blocks of physical reality, in respect of this, as icons of belief, based on a past environment, made into crystal formed belief systems, much like that Kabala, that only map out the lack, and are not the form of the cells, and the building blocks of what we are in reality.  We have become a metaphysical geometry, that is not equal to who and what we are, as creation in-FORMation that one could also say is a geometry! 

 I admit that, in speaking with my mother, I was becoming overwhelmed. I allowed all of this to be too much. I left, saying I would look into my sister. 

The next morning I woke up, and suddenly noticed within me, the same emotion I felt that motivated me to leave the situation the day before. In the space of my home, ( and I want to say that I did not react, while standing with my mother in a demonstrative and overt way, it was more I could feel the resistances towards the relationships coming forth in word, and moved to not resist, but to remain stable ).  Suddenly, I could see the layers of the spin, as the math, as the geometry, as the ‘ song’ form within me, of conflicting actions, resistances and overwhelment, leading to confusion, which was the impetus to want to leave.  

On one level what was to be making dinner for a visiting sibling and his family, was turning into a larger production.  On another level, it meant calling my sister, and listening to her, be the same as my mother, and yes, we become out mothers! lol, It is like having two of my mother. Put myself into that, and I was basically being the same, reacting, within myself, to the ‘ sorting out’ of all the emotional states, and maintaining family interactions.  Having dinner for a few people, become a HUGE math equation to solve.  The one thing that has not come up, is wanting to be a savior, the good caretaker, because this is in essence an illusion.  That is actually cool, because this can create my own sense of being burdened, leading to the same outcome, of and as ‘ things are so sad.”  

My reaction, as I stood before my mother, I have to say, was myself caught in the overall sense of being overwhelmed, both practically as in making, potentially, dinner for a greater number, and the dealings with the greater emotional layers, more family members participating would bring. Also, that my mother, resists the same, for reasons I will not share here.  In some ways, it is all entertainment, an occupation to feel like one is doing something.  It is a program running on empty.  It is cyclical.   In writing this all out, for more than a couple of years, taking what is moving within me apart, the patterns become more recognizable. In reality, we are amazing in our capacity, yet we have to look. That wanting to run, with out really looking at that impetus to run, and how that is composed, is not a solution.  Looking, and understanding, does make addressing what has been allowed easier.  It is becoming more a master of what one is allowing, as sound, that compose words, that create sentences that paragraph self direction, self action.  The techno - colored ‘ dream ‘ coat, is within each of us, accepted and allowed, directing us. We have mastered the skill of lack, as tech means skill.  It is allowing one small tiny movement, as a word, and inflaming it with value judgement, forgetting who and what we are, and of which, has allowed a health care system that addresses what we have allowed within ourselves, because this is what we focus on, those emotional energetic warped values, that have no real practical application in reality. our health care system is simply a reflection of what we have become.  If we want a health care system that really stabilizes the composition of what we are, we have to realize what we are, in practical fact.  

I looked at the sudden jumping out of the web of interconnected value judgements within my family, and the relationships of lack as a resonance I run from, within myself. My shadow resonance.  

Overall, it is a lot like juggling a web of seemingly conflicting values, yet in some ways, it is always the same, the directives of not looking at the practical reality, where one understands the next step, to come into alignment with realizing the practical and letting go of the ideological imposed values that are not in respect of the very building blocks of what we are, as the physical, that is creation manifest, that is god. I mean, if everything that is here, as our present system, is made by the many hands of generations of men, using the building blocks of what is here that composes this reality, and which was/is done without thinking, because one is actually focused and doing, ( even within the education system, it being known that opportunity builds ability - and television is of the emotional drama ONLY - more often than not)  it becomes so apparent that a scream of sadness, is us telling ourselves that we are out of focus with reality, with the practical.  We are essentially focused on the loss of ourselves, as this is the place where we sort out what we are focusing upon, and then, redirect back into, onto, what is actual and real, what lends opportunity, what is that which creates what is here, which is being focused and in respect of and on, the physical, where the practical is to consider all things, as seeing the real web of creation inFORMation, and working with direct focus onto that, to make choices that maintain a balance, to accumulate real know how, to accumulate forms and functions that utilize the capacity of all those building blocks working synergistically, together, in ways that allow real expression, that needs no paranormal thin-king that leads to dimensions imposed on reality, that separate one from realizing the potential within where we would enjoy one another. I mean, we have all done this, at times. I remember the big hurricane in America, where many Americans came together to help out New Orleans. Or, supposedly, the money sent to Haiti that never materialized its intention, as it was taken and used in self interest, the voices of this coming out behind the scenes.  Within us, are the real seeds of a desire to create balance, and ensure the stability of our fellow men. We as a collective, have to ensure that what is best is what manifests. We must take back our media, and the currency flow, to realize stability and care for all things that are here, that are of the same building blocks.  

For myself,  when facing the storied information, of emotional techno/ skill-set color, it is to slow down, and realize the web of value judgements, as the unsorted, and to do what I have been doing, without expectation of sudden resolution, as what must be practiced is the practical application, which also means pointing out a system that must be reformed, to realize the value is life. As the potential in each, when brought forward, and given opportunity for development, is a win win for each and every composition of the practical building blocks of life. Just as that resonant meta-physical storied polarized value system was built, with great and subtle detail, so can we change that rushing train, and use the same skill, the same ability, to work with who and what we are in fact. We are physical, we are on a physical planet, composed of building blocks,  that can be formed in ways that realize the expression of life, as the inherent pure flow of life, of creation in each and every thing. We can change the focus of ourselves onto what is real and forgive ourselves of the transgression of fear of loss, as this is an illusion, and not what is real. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to to warp reality, and to move into value judgements, as polarized values, as beliefs, within and a s a fear of loss, to then wallow in a belief that things are sad.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and a s I find myself moving into believing that things are sad, I am not present here, moving as life, as being the realization in thought, word and deed, in and as there being no problems, and only solutions , which are always practical and in plain sight.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow emotional values, as polarized beliefs, that circumnavigate the practical application that is movement in respect of what and who I am as the physical creation, that I have allowed myself to make value judgements larger than life, instead of being present here, enjoying the expression of life that is me, here, and that is all that is here, and to within every breath, realize the potential inherent in the form that is a composition of building blocks that are understood, in the reflection of and as the opposite of what supports realizing the necessity of what are the building blocks of the physical reality, here, inherent, in the words, real food is health. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become overwhelmed, to want to run away within this, as in not wanting to face a false construct of sadness, believing it to be too much, when I am here, I am breathing, I am able to realize what is in plain sight as the physical here, which is more normal and more practical and always present.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist looking at relationships, be them the practical reality, or the developed opposite-of-life-skill of weaving a web of emotionally laden, as polarized value judgements made larger than the practical reality here, as the physical, as these stories of information, can be resolved back into the practical, as applying focus onto what is here, and using presence to realize movements of no harm,  here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that speaking up is too difficult, that facing the skill set of limitation, as seeing only the lack, as something that is composed of being inferior to the practical and to realize that when and as I find something impossible I am allowing myself to become the polarity of and as believing myself to be inferior, and allowing a polarized entity of and as belief, to be superior, which is an abdication of self responsibility, within and as not seeing realizing that I have, as the very capacity of and as me, built this skill set of only seeing lack, as walking the small, builds the whole, and thus, I have allowed a false construct, in self interest, believing this would make me a ‘ more’ as an idea of superiority, which means that my sense of inferiority, is an embarrassment of myself wanting to be superior, and overall, this an imbalance, within and as respecting what is here, as life, which means to be normal, and present, realizing nothing can define me, but what I allow, and that what builds  effective living is to respect all things, as the physical to be in respect of, in synch with, what is here,   and to stand in practical application of considering all things, here, as this physical reality is creation manifest. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to resist emotional storms, based on a past of believing such thins to be a slippery slope, not seeing realizing and understanding the circular logic of value judgements as polarized thought that pits shifting dimensions of reality, against one another, to never realize stability, which overall is an illusion, as the practical and the physical is always here, in plain sight, in plane sight as the very physical horizon always present, that which is of the resources that the paper castle is always wanting to own, through deceptive words on a piece of paper, which overall, is an illusion, and a busy-work that only has the power we give to it, as practically on the ground, we all realize what is necessary to realize a stable and productive application, to ensure stability for each and every living thing here. as we are the perfect means to be and do such, as we can focus here, and being focused here, is where we are at most ease, and of most productive ability. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become overwhelmed with facing emotional value judgements as polarized values, specifically within an idea that things are sad, which overall is an acknowledgement of loss, which means to correct in practical application of what lends greater self expression, within and as being focused on practical solutions, that realize equality and oneness, with this reality, as creation manifest, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself as well, to have a touch of superiority within this, and a color, as a pull into righteousness, which is a distraction and not being focused here, where, for example, just as in music, one directs to and towards what brings forth an effective and applicable balance within and as performance, which is self forgiving as the value is always, so-to-speak, coming into balance, as this is opening awesomeness of doing, of being focused, of realizing capacity,  as this is what we all want for ourselves here as this is where we are most happy, as giving is receiving, equal and one.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to at the same time, not realize the value of practicing the small, to realize the construct of the more complicated,  within this, in relation to the words, and how the words are the small that build the very web of emotional values, as inflamed value judgements that I allowed, in a moment to seem too big to handle, and for this I forgive myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not slow down and rejoice in the small, to bring forward a sense of awe, as discovery, as lending what grounds one in the practical, where one takes a step to see further, and to become a practical expression of creation, which is to consider all things, to take that which is good and does no harm, to rebuild a reality that respects the very building blocks of creation, as sound manifest into form and function, as the circular spin in polarized value judgements is an illusion as it has not real creative power, and is a game of associative think-king lacking real respect of all things, as the physical reality in plain sight, as the plane of physical reality filled with trees that we cannot live without, as we are here, and physical before cultural and religious beliefs that are of a ritualized past based on the environment, as what is real, is the physical reality here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I can reverse sadness, into and as realizing the means of composing sadness are the means of decomposing sadness as believes, and to then rebuild in accord, in synch, in respect of what is here as the physical, to stand equal and one with reality, as life in expression, thus the solution to sadness is to realize that one can rebuild and look directly here, to realize  a sense of loss need not define who and what one is, as one can change focus, back onto the practical, to become normal and to be both giving and receiving, as the two are one and the same, on a physical and practical plan- it that is the at most- sphere of potential to be and create a world that is best for all, as what is best for self is best for all here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize, in every moment, with every move, to live the humbleness of giving and receiving here, as this is being in synch with who and what I am, as being in respect of all things, and within this, to stand equal and one to a polarized entity of associating to values of more than and less then, in a bubble, resonantly within myself, which is an incorrect use of the imagination, as I can give and receive what is here, as the physical as an action of respecting all things, realizing nothing can be lost, as a loss is a lack of focus here, as realizing the practical building blocks of creation, that are the cells, composing the trees, here, the mirror image of building effective skills sets, that realize the whole and the parts, equal and one, with and as every movement,  an image and likeness of a sensory respect of and as the value being life here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the huge resonant construct of and as belief, that does not fit into reality, as it is a state of separation from being present, from using the small, as what I sense is a tiny movement in my heart, that is as though, I keep trying to get beliefs to match this reality, when that movement of giving being receiving, can move as a voice, from the heart,   that is fecund and that for so long, I feared as being considered dirty, whicb is ironic, because in the word dirty, is DIRT TIE, which is to ‘ tie’ myself to the very building blocks of this reality, as the composition of dirt, which could be soil, and as is known, there are more things in a handful of dirt that in the uni-verse combined, such is the play of sound that can lead to a distraction with this reality, that is physical and that is the means of life here.

When and as I find myself moving into resistance, I stop, Ibreath, I slow myself down, and I assess, as investigate my skill sets, as the techniques I have accepted and allowed as the means of building a persona, and I look here, to realize my own resonant separations, composed of beliefs,  as I change my I CONS/ IKONOGRAPHY, to a humble, I can! 

When and as  I find myself following a river of resonant belief, a current of words streaming within association of limited respect, as self interest, only, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, I realize my own accepted and allowed skill sets, and I assess, as look at the parts of the whole, of a self imposed state of resonant separation, and the living reality, as the physical around me, and the present system that mirrors out-of-synchness turned normalcy bias,  to realize my own ICONS/IKONS, and to move into I can, with humility, as slowing down, and not fearing being defined, as even moving into understanding, does not define me, but for a moment, as a form of assessment, using what can also do this, with the practical reality, as the physical around me, to take what is good and does no harm, to mirror this, as lend capacity, seeing realizing and understanding, the real web of life, as the physical, where each one, is me in another life, as a ‘ cell ‘ of creation.

When and as I find myself wanting to run, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand how limitation can move in a circular logic, that can have its own tension, that is much like a  wall of information, that has a current to it, and can be understood, as assessed, as opened through bringing it back to self, where I reflect where (i) have been the same, and as such to expose my own storied inform of polarized values, to reflect, as model, almost like, lol, building a cartoon, in a moment, to bring forth, for example, my own ignorance of what I have allowed myself to be immune to, to direct into being of same sound, of same mind, to then allow solutions that realize the value is life, as the physical reality here. 

When and as I find myself resisting, as a tension of and as wanting to move away, I stop, I breath, I assess, as wanting to move away from fire is a good thing, lol, in all practical common sense, as one can change the goal post, within bringing in another dimension of reality,  out of habitual states of being, running on empty, and, within this, to do the math, as breath, and ground myself here, to see realize and understand, that I am  much like an instrument in an orchestra, where i am playing what is here, and yet within that, there are many ways to focus on what is produced, here, and thus, the potential to realize what is here, as resonance, and reality, is in all ways, present. 

When and as I find myself believing what is around me, is too much, I stop, I breath, I realize my own resonant frustrations of the past, as practiced habits of , for example, the belief of the  impossible,  and the too muchness,  and the regret of a life not lived- potentially,  and I stop, I assess, investigate where need be, I look at my ICONS/IKONS, and I remember who and what I am as a physical beingness, and realize, I can, with gentleness, with allowing myself to rejoice, as re- juice, as realize the awesomeness of discovery, as re-joy here, to live the value being life, here. I

Ican, Iam, Iassess, Iinvestgate, Ilook, Isee, Irejoice, here. 

                            Inner Cultural Awareness of Network

Presence and resonance beingness . Who am I? Day 744

In my last blog I wrote about sensing what can only be called a resonant change within myself, after living in a foreign country. I wrote about how I noticed a physical resistance that precipitated    calling out a behavior as being extreme where previously, before living in another country, I had no physical resistance or reaction towards such behavior. All of this indicating how I can, within seven years, change the very resonance of me, as a comfort zone of the stance, or the acclimated values within me, or, relationships I composed myself within and as.  When my environment changed, and was no longer the ‘ song’ or ‘ math’ or collectively accepted values of a group, I physically reacted. It appears to be a sense of being out of synch with my surroundings, yet I started to notice the differences and projected the differences as something outside of myself.  I could have become so focused on the differences ONLY, yet managed to realize that I had acclimated to the ‘ stance’ of my new environment. 

How often does this happen in other areas of my life? And/or am I as near to being fluid in seeing the patterns and movements of this overall? Meaning, do I apply how much a resonance of values  are what I face, what I meet, when I interact with others? If I do not understand this, are those moments of projection and calling out of a behavior, a labeling that behavior being weird or extreme, without realizing the interaction of resonant values bumping up against another, as being a relationship ? Do I realize that I am simply in a juxtaposition of values imbedded in the flesh as what has become an acclimated stance within? Do I tend to resist what does not ‘ resonate’ with me, because I have become so self involved that I have lost all perspective of seeing and realizing this? Ultimately, how is it that this has not moved me to realize that the only thing that is real is the physical? And/or that taking on a value, as focusing on something, is okay, yet must always refer to what is in the moment as the greater world around me, within an understanding that what is practiced, if not reviewing the whole overall, can become resonant within, and then direct the flesh to the point where, as I did, react physically? What would happen if this is not understood? I can think of many reactions, as resistance I have done and lived, because I did not understand this! I, instead, in my self centered self interest ONLY,  believed my resonance to be more real than what was around me. I blamed this very default happening in others, on that resonance, even went into fear of it, instead of realizing the whole and the parts of and as how this all works. 

Is it not also so easy to realize at this point that this is what the proverbial ‘ valley of smoke and mirrors’ is in fact? Where to hide what is real, but right in front of us. as the within made larger than the without, and the without being what is real, and what is similar to being a ‘ master mind’ in that what would ground is referencing all things, and balancing out within that, this in itself a practice lending greater flexibility , or less stagnant inner stance of values in a bubble.  After all, then, what is a mind consciousness system? If one’s focus , as the events one allows within, on a time line, or horizon of sequences of self accepted stances, or values, were repeated again and again until they directed the flesh,  would one become a ‘ seed’ of information, of and as small movements compounding in one’s deeds? Would this end up causing a resonance counter to the greater whole? Would a flexibility be lost? Would the ability to process information become stagnant as that resonance consumed the life within, as the very focus of that presence within? Who could correct, or balance this out? Can another do this for one’s self? No. Would the self that was caught in the web, want forgiveness? Thus, is the only choice, that of forgiveness? As forgiveness is the movement of correction? This correction not capable of being done by anyone, but the self, and would one not want it to be any other way, as this is the way to self mastery? I mean what is one doing when one practices a musical instrument all by themselves? And would one also need to practice or interact with the whole also? Would a one sided practice cause an imbalance? 

A word is a placeholder of information, thus a word can be used to direct this, to guide this, to trigger the re-establishment of one’s focus onto the greater and the smaller, in the present, so that the self can see the resonance within and the practical without. This would lead to being equal and one to all of creation. Instead of reacting, as resisting resonances ( ghosts in the machine) one would become more self directive- AND NOT FEAR THAT RESONANT MATH!  As it is, at the moment, we are all basically, resonating values in a self centered inner-rest, absent a common sense of the present moment, which is being in the practice of the physical reality around us, recognizing what does not harm, as what accepts what is here, and working with it, or interacting with it, or communicating with it, which overall, allows one to realize one’s own resonances. In a way, there is nothing wrong with looking at the parts, bringing this forward for a moment, yet remaining grounded in the physical is also necessary. 

I admit that I am in fear of what resonates in another, because it means that I have to face the equation. I have to have the patience to slow down, listen, ‘ quantify’ , call out by name, to become in sympathy with clarity with another, with a resonance, and then relate back to the practical, or realize what would be best, and make choices, as the only choice, as what would expand and lend direction without generating more conflict, or harm as a reaction to a ‘ resonant form’.  I can so move into fear, or anger, when meeting resistance despite realizing the only solution is to go back to the drawing board and walk the clarity again, especially since a resonance can be quite sticky and bounce back. This being what causes a great forgetFULLNESS, that is the root of the problem within this not being understood.  

Because we have, in a sense, all become like the movies we watch, ‘ story boards’ that repeat and speak and direct the flesh, as a resonant sequence of events colored with value judgements, singular and limited though not necessarily ‘ bad’ , it is necessary to slow down and begin to differentiate this. It is to give space for greater and deeper recognition of one’s accepted and allowed resonant seed of information. 

I have this point where I miss some turn, some resonant movement within me. I can see, or feel the after effects, as this cycles, yet have not yet caught that tiny movement that was a choice I made, or accepted, as a value judgement. It is like not wanting to let something go, or this being so habituated, I can only practice catching this again and again, making mis-takes.

Mostly, it is in my arms, a tenseness that is intense. lol.

What helps me, at times, is to look at this as though I am reading shadows. I liken it to a ‘ life review’ where I bring every moment of my life forward, like a resonant history, and realize where I resisted, rejected, blamed, pushed away, stood as - believed, etc. And then, to sort out my resonant under-standings.  Has to be done, and why have it any other way? After all, how does one come to master something? What did we think humpty dumpty was all about?  And why were the fables, and tales, and biblical stories, and twentieth century novels like 1984, telling us? And why were they in a format that was indirect yet revealing? They in themselves are a kind of resonant form, showing a math, yet cannot be the actual practice in the self. It is just as I was when I started calling out the value system manifestation as behaviors on a face, as I stood looking at this from a different resonance as what I had acclimated myself to.  I am the subject of my own objectification! Because of a fear of calling things out by name, which is the means to self empowerment and disempowerment of the limited resonance , it appears easier to do the same without facing this directly. Yet, if this is what I am saying must be done, then somehow I am not facing this in myself, because I am unwilling to show the bare naked accepted and allowed resonance of myself. The point is that this is understood, and pointed out, though indirect, by many. 

A word for me today, is the word ‘ frame’ meaning, what am I framing within what I bring forward, as resonate within me? What and where am I losing a sense of the larger frame as the physical? What am I defining myself as, within a resonant frame, and what relationships am I making that builds this frame I stand within? What practices in the small within myself can change this frame and focus, or realize in a more fluid way, calling resistances out by name, and understanding to then relate to the whole to build a more encompassing relationship to the whole as all things, where I do not rush, or expect, or fear a loss, thereby procrastinating, seeking perfection,  idealize,  control, reject, imagine only,  give up, get lost in a comparison of self protection etc. I can, as the very capacity of and as me, learn to play/perform/interact-with-the-whole as the means is right here, in plain sight.  After all, so much of what has not been lived, is that individual practice of doing and realizing the smallest of movements, as the smallest of things, is what one must master to become a master of self, something that must be practiced, and something that no one can do for the self but the self. This AND interacting with the whole, as it cannot be ONLY one or the other. 

Resistance Day 710

Resistance

I am here, I am physical. What I think about is not what is real, yet what I think about can be a distraction from being present, from focusing here, from seeing life directly, from directing myself here, as the potential inherent in who and what I am.

I am physical.

Am I processing reality? Or, am I processing limited constructs of knowledge and information without a past of practical application? And, is this that I have allowed, as this that the very design of the present system, with so much knowledge and information flowing metaphysically on this earth, what causes me to lose all sensibility in being present in this reality?

What are the attention dis-orders compounding in our children?

Are not the churches, with all their colored windows, an earlier tech of the same as that television, that opinionated voice that is a busy work of making an idea larger than what is real?

How long have we separated ourselves from life. How many generations of separation  each accepts and allows within and as not standing up, have lead to where we are, where our children are so cognitively dissonant that they have a static resonance through which they must try and reach reality, this spatial reality in which we live.  Within this,  centuries of a disrespect of reality, the means of life, the physical. I mean why did we ever believe that we could know a tiger in a cage? How could we ever have thought that a child could be taught in a box ONLY? And from there, spend time watching another box? And, why do we not see that our financial system is by design a system of scarcity? Or is the financial system a reflection of our own accepted and allowed limitations?  Why do we lose our spatial ability as we move from childhood into  adulthood?  Why do we conceptually find it more and more difficult to process new information as we age? Why can’t we remember what happened yesterday?

Why is it so difficult to talk about politics at the dinner table? Why do we decide that what is important, as the policies we ostensibly support through voting ( that in itself in question) is not something discussed at the table? I mean, what happens instead of talk about family members, and their personalities that are in essence what determines the policies that then determine our lives, which, to come full circle, turns into a money system that by design is a system of scarcity.

Is this not reflective of very limited constructs of information that are not working? We discuss endlessly what we accept and allow and the shortcomings there of, and yet we cannot see what is so clear ; what we are within is not equal to the practical world as the physical within how that physical world works in common sense.

When we are directly seeing this actual world, we know what must be done in the moment when we focus here. And yet we do not apply the same to the lives that are on the other side of this world. Most of the families in Syria want to live their lives, enjoy their children. 

Before the King Phillip war in America,  the religious entities had declining members, because the colonists had - although not in accord with a more natural land maintenance system used by the native inhabitants of America-  the colonists had created systems of shelter and husbandry and agriculture that allowed for more leisure time. They felt secure and no longer needed to beg some imaginary god for assistance. They, the colonists had managed the land, with their hands. Nothing else did this but them. In their ‘ peace’ they also would come to realize that they did not need a sovereign to call out rules for them. They were the means of their lives.  And , perhaps, they had learned from the natives an idea that land cannot be owned, it is to take care of it, to work with it. I can only speculate, yet we are so absorbent that the attitudes of the native Americans must have influenced the colonists to some degree.

Why would a government become a corporation, with trade agreements done behind closed doors, that forced the states to use certain products of else be sued?  This is oligarchy, meaning this is each of us allowing a limited format to determine every inch of our presence and awareness about this world. Then that ‘ authority’ determines what is real and what is not, on a physical and limited planet. Why do we allow this game of separation from reality, into what becomes a cult of death? We allow an ego, composed of limited ideas, beliefs and opinions to be greater than what is real.  Moments in history have revealed this to us.  We do not need religion, we do not need a government saying it works for us, when it really works for a corporation of a few groups/individuals that bully a very very very limited form to follow. This is what we are allowing and accepting within ourselves and that shadow is the cause of great suffering to so many animals and plants and children. 

In such a short amount of time, this could change. To respect your neighbor as yourself, to realize they are a contract of information of such limited measure, that their faults are the same as yours, perhaps only different by a very narrow margin, yet having existed in such limitation, such tiny degrees of difference appear HUGE. That is the mirage of existing within very limited information.  Such inequality to life, to the physical practice of living, causes fear, it is being inferior to life, all life. The physical is life. It is the expression of life, it is the gift of life.

One has to deconstruct the beliefs, opinions and ideas layered within, as a perfect practice leads to a mastery that is significant in the degree of ease within processing the information, measurable in how this works as the lack of ease in the behaviors of projecting blame and spite outward that is the consequence of an imperfect practice.  This is invisible yet visible, as it is like a force that is the same as rejection, as resistance. Projecting blame and spite, criticizing actions and words and the things words form in another, is resisting being self responsible. It means one is not moving into solutions, into lending an ease in a moment where one can resolve what exists into a trust that no harm will be done. 

What are you wrapping your mouth around? What thoughts, as thoughts are things, are you allowing? Are you here, giving solutions that lend an ease, and move one’s self towards a mastery of living in equality to the physical? Will you move silent into death with no regrets or will you fight to survive as that ego that is a signature of very limited information and loads of protective and defensive behaviors heard so clearly in the words you speak that are of blame and spite and justification? Will you transcend the ego?

Day 460 and 461 Peer Pressure from Grade School to Work Environment

In the last week I have been thinking about what it is like to be in school, especially grade school. As a child and as an adult working with children. The peer pressure. 

I recently talked with a group of teachers, who are, a peer group in essence. I realize that the same pressures exist even at this level. We all have this peer pressure, in groups of people being paid at a job. The peer pressure in a musical group is the same. A lot of competition goes on. Each person weighing and measuring one another, essentially being in fear that someone else is going to get attention or recognition, or that promotion. As my children went through school, sometimes I even encountered this with teachers. For example, one time there was a field trip and the teacher who did not have her students for the class because they were away for the day an the filed trip for another class, were held responsible for the time missed. This teacher even said she felt that the other classes going on field trips was unfair because her subject, or so she believed, did not lend itself to field trips. 

Imagine our children in a school with this going on.

If one child is worrying about what someone thinks about them because they fear losing some imagined status based on some societal morality then how are they going to learn, be able to focus on what they are learning?

If we learn what we do, meaning if we take in our environment and accumulate experiences that then define our character, would such a child not grow up having learned this fear? And then, unless this is cleared up, would this not continue in the work place?  IN essence it is a hall of mirrors as oneself comparing oneself to others incessantly based on values of what is proper and not proper, an thus what is right and wrong and thus what is more than and less than. And some ideological idea is directing and this, if one chooses to really look, is ambiguous to put it mildly. Let the rotating spinning mirrors of memory match begin because this is what is going on. If we take the time to look at ourselves, will we find that what we chase has any real validity, as the total play of this, which begins in elementary school?  And does this so consume our living that we miss actually directing ourselves in ways that support that potential we can all see in our children? No, this behavior does not support us. And it does not support our children, and our children become what is placed before them in this world. And so the game goes around and around and around. And so involved in this are those who live where this spins, that realizing what is happening in this world is ignored. Here I want to think of the word GREED and the “G” and the word “ reed” as in this total formation of us as self into these survival behaviors, is each of us “REED”ing ego, the separation into a lesser self as an enegy dissipating non-looking state of being in measure as judgement instead of directive support of the physical life around us in ways that support expression and understanding of this world to a full potential as all life on earth being at ease and in joy of life, instead of this combat that we are allowing ourselves to exist as, that I am pointing out within the peer pressure in groups. 

If one is busy being this, being this reactive behaviors that are in essence a fear of loss based on some ambiguous idea, how can what is actually happening within what is being done be realized fully? If our attention is divided, and the division of our attention is on ambiguous ideas how can we be paying attention to what is actually happening in this world. And is this behavior not one of fear? Fear being that feeling of vertigo, that fear of loss, that ominous presence that blinds and causes us to say things we know are lies, we know are in self interest, we know are petty spiteful constructions as our focus that cause discord more than any real solution in a way that is supportive to the environment in total. IN all common sense how is this peer combat beneficial?  

I guess the real question is, if you were surrounded by your peers would you openly admit to having acted in such ways? Probably not, because you fear your peer using this against you at another time. To admit that we have been spiteful is to admit that we have been weak. And we do not want anyone within our work environment to know this because why? I mean why do this? what purpose does this serve other than a fear of losing something? Even if someone points out that we are all doing this, we kind of want that person to disappear because our fear is so great that even admitting it at work, is seemingly deadly. 

Now, you are at home and surrounded by your children, and you have this “ energy” within you. Do you not think that this is being picked up by your children, these absorbent beings? Don’t you remember your parents being standoffish sometimes, or irritable? Both of these behaviors are not being clear, honest and supportive of what allows everyone to be stable and productive, absolutely focused here. And if we are not focused here then how is the measure, the real measure of our work? It cannot be all encompassing can it? No. And our children are imitating this because this is what is their environment and this is what children do, they pick up and become what is presented to them. So, the only choice is to be self honest. In the end each parent is responsible for their behavior, because the children will pick it up.

I had an adult friend that came to me and told me to not hide an event that happened in my life from my children. She had had the same event happen, and she was the child in the drama at the time. She said that for years she felt that something was being hidden, something was not being said, and that she spent time trying to find out what was not being said. The whole scenario confused and occupied her, and obviously did not lend any kind of understanding. None of this behavior lends itself to learning how to be clear and supportive of life here, as a physical world. It is more an act of moving around, determining our movement based on some “ if looked at” ambiguous idea that bears no witness to actual productive and supportive living.

And what is all this, a belief in a good and a bad, a belief that one thing is more than another. Such does not in the end see what actually exists, especially because it creates no stability. The attention deficit dis-order is not paying attention to the functioning of physical reality. I mean, the physical is how we are here, not that idea spinning around in one’s mind. This is why consciousness cannot exist without the physical world. We have placed the cart before the horse - so to speak.

So, we need to realize that our fears are unfounded, make no sense in a physical world that can be ordered to support us. It is our fear that has created only more fear, so much so that what has manifested is a system of division into ideas of one thing being more than another, when this is the illusion, as what is the gift is simply being an expression of life, here. Fear is a disconnect from the physical reality, as what works as the physical is the expression of life. As such, it is to become equal to the physical in thought word and deed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear that a peer will call me stupid, or dumb, or reprimand me, not seeing realizing and understanding that any name I am called can be examined in common sense and either corrected within and as what would create absolute stability in and as a physical world that supports all life as the value is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I need to fear my peers and what a peer might say about me, be it another kid in my class, or be it a colleague at work, or be it a boss, or be it a sibling, or be it an in-law.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that real competition is about supporting one another to become the best each can be as when each is the best they can be than all are the best they can be thus the only choice is to support all life to be and become the best it can be.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I need to fear the judgement of another, and within this to not stop and breath and realize that a fear of judgement is a fear of loss, thus there is always the solution to see, realize and understand the ambiguity of a fear of loss and to realize within this that the present system is a consequence of judgement as a fear of loss as a system built on ideas of a good and a bad, which is not a movement in consideration of physical substance as existence, that which balances life in expression because what works supports all life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to worry about being less than another, because in and as this, all development in a physical world is a process of walking the ordinary into the creation of being life here as what we are, thus it is the building of life from step by step ordinary steps into what becomes the gift, the extraordinary gift of life as physical beings, thus as we are all parts of the construct of sound as life as the physical the only choice is to be what is best for all as we are all of same substance as physical beings as life, thus the garden of eden was being life as physical expression of sound as life, from nothing to something, a movement into being, the only event that creates life, and so it is movement as from silence into sound as silence moving that builds as parts and become forms as the evolution of sound into form which builds step by step into a physical earth, and thus this is the gift, where each must realize that it is simply being here as physical form enabling each to be here, thus the petty judgements of a fear of loss are self in separation from life, into a polarity show having accepted and allowed a division from what is constant as the sound substance of life as the movement into being from nothing to something.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that a belief in something being lost is myself in separation from myself as life and thus myself as common sense as life as the substance of what I am here, thus you are me, I am you, we are each other in another life, here, which makes our system of inequality a death sentence unless we stand and order this world into what realizes itself to be and become the joy of life as expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand that allowing myself to fear judgement by my peers is myself inFEARior to life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the judgement of another is an end game, meaning what is proclaimed is “ etched in stone” when that stone is composed of the substance of life, as life, and changes its form within a different rhythm and that that change is a process but remains the movement of life, and humans are the same.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that a judgement is definitive not seeing realizing and understanding that life does not remain stagnant unless I accept and allow my past to define me here- my past present here as limited ideas taught which some would call a morality in a bubble, as what another judges me in and as is not a directive but just a statement that simply points something out in a moment thus the judgement does not define me as what I am as life, able to use common sense and within the principle of what is best for all give direction that is what establishes what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I become fearful I am in essence applying my own moral limitations taught from a competitive survival system that acts out through peer group pressure, and as such I am existing in supporting my own limitations which manifest as touting my own limitations, a form of resistance to changing my own limited consciousness that is in separation from and made larger than actual physical reality, and as this what I resist persists and consumes the very flesh of me as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be supportive of my own limitations through not directing my own accepted and allowed ambiguities back into common sense of physical reality, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand my limitations are my own touted protection and defense mechanisms as belief as ideas, as myself resisting change, as I object as thought word and deed and bully this as reality fearing to see my own accepted and allowed limitations learned from day one, which must be seen as what I allow to define me that is in essence a separation from common sense, and as this i must realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a walking projection of limitation, and as this, I am walking in a community of walking projections of limitation that is the friction and conflict that manifests as peer pressure, in all a limitation of being equal and one to and as life here, which the children imitate as this is what is presented to life as children, and the solution is to self realize as life, as the substance of life and to forgive the limitations and to realize that equality and oneness to and as life as the physical is the only choice.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when and as i become my own limitation, I constrict within and as my human physical body, I in other words, tense up within and as this, become defensive, as in touting what it is that i believe, and as such here, i stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand that such state of limitation is a protection, a defense, that in itself is the crying of my own limitation and as such can be seen and, as breath, slowed down, to apply the principle of what is best for all, to begin to direct myself within and as what equalizes myself with what is best for all as the physical world that is the expression of life here, and as I breath and apply the principle of what is best for all, I begin to move at ease, as the application of what is best for all is the application of solution to and as being equal and one to what builds understanding of physical reality that which is and thus supports all life here, absolutely the gift if life.

When and as I find myself using ideology of a limited morality as a belief, opinion and /or idea, I stop and I breath and I investigate within and as the principle of what is best for all, through realizing how the mind works as consciousness, and how I allow ideas as consciousness to be the program of my human physical body in thought word and deed that causes reactions of self as self limitation that cause a disconnect from equal and one communication of what supports life absolutely, as what supports all life to be and become a full expression of life is what supports myself to be and become a full expression of life, this manifest being a heaven on earth, a state of ease within and as self, where no matter where I walk on earth, no matter within who’s shoes I walk, I walk at ease as a physical being as this is respect of life, as the physical is life.

When and as I go into protection and defense, a sense of vertigo or confusion or inner pressure , or heat within my physical self - as in realizing i am not taking in the words of others or am wanting to push away or negate what another speaks - I stop and I breath, and I see, realize and understand that I am reacting in support of my own limitations, my own bubble of a learned morality, and I slow down and I apply the principle of what is best for all, and I direct through bringing the limitation,  as resistance as objection back into what supports all life, realizing that which orders this world into and as what supports all life, what equalizes myself to and as what is best for all, here.

When and as I am limitation as objection that is resistance, I stop and I breath, whether this is within or without, direct or indirect, I stop and I breath, and I apply the principle of what is best for all, and I correct in self forgiving the limitation learned, my own morality, and I direct within realizing thought words and deeds that support the physical.

When and as I find myself directing as idea, as thought word and deed as consciousness, as limitation, as objection in self interest, as resistance to and as changing myself as consciousness as mind as idea, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I apply the principle of what is best for all, realizing my own programmed limitation that has been going on for generations, and I bring myself here, through breath, to the physical, to self correct with the tool of self forgiveness, breathing and corrective application within the principle of what is best for all, realizing that this is best for self, here.

When and as I find myself inFEARior to life, I stop and I breath and I realize that this is myself as mind, as consciousness built from the limited ideas, beliefs and opinions of hierarchy, of pyramid formation  as ponzi scheme and I stop and I breath and I align myself to what is the very support of myself as idea as mind as limitation, as objection, as resistance, and I stop, and I breath and I forgive myself self aggrandizement in self interest within a belief as ego, as energy, as polarity of good and bad, right and wrong, and I self forgive myself such limited judgements as thought, emotion and feeling based on good and bad as this separation that is limitation that is learned that is fear of life, and I apply the principle of what is best for all, as what is the giving of myself as i would life to receive as respect for physical existence - that which is life in expression - and I investigate within and as what allows self movement within walking the ordinary steps into creating a human being, that becomes an expression of life, equal and one to and as the physical world being a world that supports life absolutely, as this is enjoying the process of equality and oneness to and as life as this is the process that accumulates into and as the extraordinary expression of life, here.

The process of self alignment to equality and oneness to and as life as the physical, as earth through self forgiveness, writing and corrective application. DIP Lite ; Process Life FREE

Day110 The frightening wall of separation

I remember being in a school and feeling like there was a wall around me as I walked down the hallway. I saw the wall as a distance between myself and the people in the hall way, like I could not reach them and they could not see me. I remember being frightened by this. Frightened… fheightened- freiheightened- heightened frei , was this a moment of having a view of the wall, over the wall, the totality of the wall? My wall?

With my castle/cloak/film/ halo/ broadcast tower/archive/ projection:propulsion  bubble/energetic storm-creating inequality/havoc somehow sensed in this moment?

I was a walking anti-matter, self interested, blind organic robot, looking out/over/through my own picture show of judgment. I am an organic computer programmer so lost within my program I cannot even see what is real.

My halo.

All of us want out of our castles. Yet we do not know the password, the code to get out. There is a solution. It is self forgiveness, writing and corrective application within the principle of what is best for all. The principle of oneness in equality. The message of Jesus, to love your neighbor as yourself, to give as you would like to receive. The code is within each and every one of us, it is life, as even a virus cannot exist without life.

The tools are within us as the physical body, speaking the words of self forgiveness , writing, self corrective application.

It is time to rebuild this earth, to build heaven and earth, equal and one.

Remember yourself as life, instead of spreading yourself, distancing yourself from life onto a cross of judgement, spite, blame creating/allowing, the illusion of time and distance from what is here, from what is life.

The obvious is right here in from of us and the way out is with your self. 

Walk through the parts and see the demise of your own “song and dance” as personal “story,” as projection, as ego, as energy go, as belief, opinion and idea, as want , need and desire.

Come back to earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to distance myself from earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear participating on earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to accept a system of inequality, that disregards life, that divides and conquers the very substances of life, that are given freely, without signature of ownership, these “signs” that conflict with the resources of this earth, that create separation from life one and equal to what earth is, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a belief, an illusion of memory, as collections of pictures, in and as my mind, in and as the very water of my human physical body, to become a halo of what I believe is what I am, as the bubble in which I live and project what it is that I am, this bubble/halo a film of illusion built on fear, demanding love, where this love is a game of memory matching to support this illusive human physical body as resource burning.consuming gird on fire, all in separation of myself as life here, interacting with what is physically here, real here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am distant from what is here, physically here, as people, as animals, as microorganisms.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to walk as a zombie on this earth, following the words of projected imagery on a tube placed within my living room, bedroom, kitchen, telling me stories all day long, supporting the separation from myself as life, distancing myself as life from what is real, what I can touch, taste, feel with the sensor of the skin on my human physical body, where if I accept and allow this halo, the manifestation of the same constructions of men without as what I have accepted and allowed within, that are the collection of pixels of my own accepted and allowed ideas, belief and opinions, to consume my human physical body, placing a strain on my human physical  body and thus causing disease, where I am turned grey and then white as my halo eats the very flesh of my human physical body, where, just as the television needs resource to burn, so does my halo need resource to perpetuate the imagery in and as my mind, and thus separating me from life as I believe that my memories are the me more in significance.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge another as more than or less than.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that I am one and equal to all that exists, in substance of what is the essence of the composition of myself here, that is life.

Within this I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this substance is obviously able to create, and compose, and yet, I the human, have allowed this gift, as the substance of life, to be composed within a context of inequality, and thus the manifestation of war, instead of what is best for all, where if I want to continue to exist as life, the only choice is to exist as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand within and as every breath, that I am one and equal to all that exists, and thus it is my self responisbility as life to realize my oneness and equality with all that is of this earth and to stand up and compose a system practically within and as this earth that supports all of me, as I am of the same substance and thus one and equal to all that is here, where if one part of me, as all that is here, is in a state of dis ease, then I am not whole, I am not all that I am as life, I am not in fact alive, I am less than what I am as life, as many many parts of me as life on this earth are in a state of dis-ease not having the support necessary to become self perfected beings as life, in and as what i am, what all is, which is the very substance of life, thus until all is supported and recognized as me, as one and equal to me, as the substance of life, life is not being lived.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have no idea what life actually is, as I have only every lived as emotions and feelings and thoughts that generate a halo, a glass screen, my own separation from my own equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that I am part of an organism as life here, that it is ludicrous that my legs don’t work, or that my eyes cannot see, of that my ears cannot hear, which is the outcome of comparison within and as my self seeming to be more than or less than another, a state of myself within and as an end game of stopping within realizing the consequences of my actions, that manifest in the disease of my human physical body which is the manifestation of stagnation within and as the movement of myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is nothing to fear in facing the consequences of the outcome of the composition of myself within and as judgement, spite and blame, being myself not facing myself here, not realizing myself here, not using the conceptual ability of my gift of common sense of the whole here as life, where the very thing that I fear is the very thing that will allow me to become one and equal with and as life, that which I am, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the substance of myself as life, this substance the very ability of myself to common sense my equality and oneness with and as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the very substance of myself here, is what is able to read, to understand all that is here surrounding me as the very air that I breath,  to walk through the wall of my own conception, within and without, as all is me here, to bring my separations from life back to self and to direct within the principle of oneness in equality here, thus what I fear facing is the very thing that will begin the flow of myself here, in and as ease, in oneness and equality, with life, where as within so without, the practical manifestation of a system that supports all life equally which will take many to deconstruct the walls of a system built by men, able to be deconstructed by men,  that is creating disease on this earth, to compose a system that takes freely given resources and distributes them to support all the organs parts of self as life, so that life can begin, so that heaven becomes one and equal to life here, as this is what we are as life, in separation through the allowance of a wall of judgement, the fire of the grid that is what is transposing life into and as discord with life so evident in the state of this earth within a system of profit/survival for the few and the health of this planet and the animals and people and plants existent within and on it.

I commit myself to standing and supporting a system of equality, an Equal Money System, as is the support of myself here as life.

I commit myself to realizing that I am a walking cyclops in and as an infinite spin of a judge as more than and less than, as perpetually blaming the objects surrounding me within my life, not realizing that this is self label, as self resistance as self as life which I have accepted and allowed in separation from my own oneness and equality as life, here.

I commit myself to deconstructing the halo of belief, opinion and idea, my own self allowed and accepted computer screen in and as my mind, to become one and equal to this self created and allowed composition of sound, as life substance, and to become a composition of myself as life, realizing my own oneness and equality within.

I commit myself to no longer allow any and all spite and blame and judgment to be taken personally as an attack, as this is only an attack on my own accepted and allowed separations, which will persist until I stop the resistance of myself as life.

I commit myself to developing - through the decomposition of my own accepted and allowed separations - equality, with the being of myself with and as the physical and my own accepted and allowed halo of beliefs, opinions , ideas, as thoughts, emotions and feelings, with drives of wants, needs and desires for these very separations that I have allowed myself to exist as mind, to bring myself back to earth, to myself as life, through and as myself manifest as life as the principle of oneness in equality so that life can begin.

I commit myself to heightening myself into and as what is freedom, that is myself in ease as equality with what I am, as what is here , as all that is here is myself, in the realization of myself as life here, to recognize that my own self within a state of fright, is myself resisting the gift of life, that which I am.

I commit myself to realizing my character of fright is my self resisting myself as life, where there is not choice but to apply the principle of oneness and equality and bring myself back into a common sense of seeing that what is here is all of me, one and equal.

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