Day 818 Everything is a system. What is regret, pressure, and " no-force" ?

The issue of regret comes up at times. Yet, regret like procrastination is a distraction if held onto for too long. This becomes a self definition that is about the past, being projected in front of one, consuming the attention of one, that in itself once reviewed, remediated and corrected in terms of what would change a similar outcome in one’s actions, can become in itself a means to realize a state of separation from living. Living means to be here, because this physical creation is what is real, is what remains, is what continues beyond the self. The physical is creation manifest, it shows what works and what does not work. Therefore, attention is here. Doing things manifests here, as the physical. Is it not ironic that religion suggests, because that is all it can do, that there is something more? Being the suggestion of a more, without practical physical, directing focus HERE, is an illusion. One has become a relationship, a relating, to an idea created as built as imaged within. The perfect storm of control. We are happy when we are focused, completely, and doing. This has a movement of problem solving, as one is focused here. Not the best thing to promote if one wants control, or wants to play a god, or guru, or statism. This game is ultimately an illusion. 

Lately, I have had the idea swirling around within me, that instead of having what we call religion, as churches, the form of the state will become a replacement religion. This will be some invisible hand, fist, entity, that passes down determinations that the state workers will then relay, taking no responsibility for a compliance lacking in common sense of living physical reality because some guru/god/invisible-hand voice from some far off “ state” passed a set of words on a page that must be followed, and it is not my fault as I make sure all the lines on a piece of paper are properly filled in. This, a focus in a petrie-dish office distant from what is living. The goal to generate income for that pension, despite the consequences on the ground.  This, overall, an imposed entity construction determining outcomes that someone else somewhere else must change. All the while, this whole thing is made up of people. It is the collective in compliance without common sense that holds such things in place. And, as in Detroit, it can all be taken away, in a moment.  This is the hard way. It need not be this way.  When realized, the regret at following without practical investigation of the “ rulings” as measures embraced and “ handed” down via anonymous notes as words-on-a-page ONLY from a air-conditioned office ( telling in itself , remember petrie-dish environments) is not real living, and will lead to regret, potentially colored with a self pity of and as “ I did what I was told.” If we, each one, wake up, this would not exist, this compliance without investigation. And it need not exist, as I have found that often such words as “ may” are in the documents, meaning it is not suggested that one HAS to follow the dictates of the state. I saw such in the State educational words; basically, the townships can do what ever they want. Of course, the funding may not come through unless one uses the guidelines. If we look, that which is funded, is most probably not what is best. It is similar to the devil smiling. One must be given choice, because that places liability on the bottom, but the caveat is that to get this, which is an “ order” promoted/suggested ONLY, one must comply with the offerings. If one is not in a mode of common sense, and self responsibility, the storm of suggestion appears to be a more. That “ more” though coupled with “ good,” is the illusion that when followed, will lead one down the road of regret. That regret can then become a further distraction from stepping into common sense, the place of real doing, of making the choice to be self responsible, to develop awareness and presence, the kind that lend a direct focus on reality, where things get done, where one finds instead of anxiety, real happiness. This is the place where one discovers a sensibility to create. This is where one really lives, here. Let’s call it here ness, which sounds like hear-ness. This, would engage all the senses. I wonder if one could say that when all the senses are properly engaged, if that “ heart” opens up and begins to flow? Is this that has been hidden in plain sight all along, as simple as the physical body being in a synchronicity of focused engagement that opens up that heart - which spells “ earth.”? Is this simplicity and as such release, in contrast to the emotional/feeling storm of ideas, beliefs, and opinions, as a resonant construct within, something that was always here outside of the anxiety of chaos held in place through this absence of proper use of the physical manifestation of one’s self as life here? I mean, there is nothing wrong with chaos, it is simply a moment of deconstruction and reconstruction, that when done properly, would express a graceful transformation!  As humanity, we have rebuilding to do.

Obviously, perhaps, there are some so far down a rabbit whole of constructed division from real presence, that to justify that means to define the whole through that extreme, is more of the same game. In reality, -most likely, percentage wise - a greater number would choose to change into being present and focusing here, being real as a doing that will lead to happiness. The test of worst case scenario being made larger than life, is a part of an inner resonant storm of ideas. beliefs, and opinions, and will be projected by the “ state” of who stands to lose such ideas, beliefs, and opinions holding a currency of more for them at the expense of life. We are happy when we are focused and creating, and unhappy when we are not. Survival is a game of surreptitious vivacity, or superstitious seeming vivaciousness that is like a bling of a more, when that is the means of separation from being present, utilizing one’s common sense, which is sensing here. If we are able to read resonant shadows, our sensibilities must be so incredibly awesome, it is a wonder we do not realize that the full employment of them would be fulfilling, and so revealing of the incredible mechanism of creation that is the self equal and one with all that is here, that shows in its very expression that living self.  Just look at children. Before they become limiting personifications of ideas, beliefs and opinions, they learn more quickly, which means they have a greater presence. What is lost is what is more natural. Look to being in a state of urgency. That is like a raging train that can no longer see the total landscape, which is a state of appearing to be moving, but in fact is a slowing down done through accepting definition of limited information. Schools are a raging train. Such can be touted as a good, when in effect, they are the cause of greater attention disorders, which are cognitive disorders, which are mental disorders, which are the fault of the parents, because the parents experience that child before a resonant chaos of ideas, beliefs and opinions, become a projected entity from within, that has lost its presence in reality. I should know, I am a parent. I see the ideas I passed down, through acceptance from my parents, most probably for seven generations. I can blame no one but myself, and must become proactive, instead of allowing such self pitying generations to define this as that is not being the model of being present, of being the change necessary to never allow this to happen again, to not inhibit the potential of sensing the most subtle of things, the living things that are always, here, in all ways.

Real focus is making the choice to always be present, living a movement of constant cross reference to what is here, which is a movement of forgiving one’s self to what is here, respecting this physical reality, because it is life. This is a transformation out of ego, which is a mind consciousness of ideas, beliefs and opinions made larger than all things. If one accepts that state job, for example, one looks here, and only accepts that which causes the least harm - given what has been accepted - before one chooses revenue generation, for example. We all know this, and because of this there is no excuse. One knows when one makes excuses, as it always has the color of regret. That regret compounds, because what we practice, as what we allow, compounds as this is how a mastery of something also happens. One can master denial, or one can master real doing. To master real doing, one remains focused with presence, sensing what is here. Even I can notice a dog that is not moving because I suddenly realize it is blind, and because of the ensuing evening light, has suddenly lost seeing, and perhaps has a slower response time because that dog must learn to employ other senses yet unmastered, and therefor as an appear-ingly delayed response time. This indicates that we live in a huge magnificent orchestrated expression of life, where we are the most prefect math to sense this reality. It is only blocked by resonant ideas, beliefs and opinions. 

Within this, what I have learned is that every limitation of and as this, will be faced, and must be walked through.  And will be faced many many times. Acceptance of that, and one grows in faith in terms of business within this. The limitations no longer something to fear as they are signifiers of that urgency called energy and actually lend solution. We can live without ego. We can live without this resonant inner state of separation from living reality.  The physical is life in expression and what is most real. 

I remember a master cellist telling me that in order to perform in a quartet, one must have absolutely no ego. Otherwise, it cannot be done. And yet, when in real focus, in real doing, as performing, that moment of no ego, when the four are focused and present, is when the greatest joy happens. We are happy when we are focused and unhappy when we are not. Our words must become living words. Each small word redefined, refocused into this living reality, equal and one. 

Have you become a master of blame or a master of self as creator as life? Our words should be natural, as living words. This directing our incredible sensitivity as life, to be focused here, to open our hearts to reflecting creation, as life, as the physical.  It is a focus that has no quality, or value of urgency. It is lacking of the rejection of life, as the weight of regret. Real focus lacks that raging weight of limitation. Focus has its own “ pressure” in relation to what is here as ego. Focus lacks forcing something. We all know this, as we have all had moments of calm and the joy of forgiving that is that allowance of discovery. We need only employ that to all moments in our lives, to never have regrets because we lived a full employment of life as respecting all things because they are us in another life, by definition. 

Real focus lacks a pressure. It has no “ force.” One can practice that measure of focus, every day, in the small, rebuilding, to position one’s self in hearing here! It is to master the small with correct definition to realize the more complex when it appears as one expands in awareness. Yet, one must realize one’s separations and practice walking the deconstruction of them, to realize the patterns one has mastered as that resonant storm of ideas, beliefs, and opinions, and at the same time, embrace a natural ability to focus here and learn, which is the expansion of one’s awareness as the self as life. 

Automation is visible Day 806

I noticed this morning a subtle bitterness surrounding me. Yesterday, I had entered a home after knocking on the door, which caused a dog in the home to become excited and bark. I was told not to knock because it excited the dog and to instead, enter without knocking. I noticed a slight irritation in the tone of voice used to convey this way of entry. I realized that in the heat of the moment, a peace interrupted, I might have reacted in the same manner. I let this go, because it lead to a place that was not productive. Later I went and reviewed the moment, to realize the switch. 

Then, I noticed this bitterness that I have noticed before, become present in my own cycles of behavior that I am in the process of noticing. They are no longer as large, yet whispers of them exist.  I ask to what was I not paying attention in that moment of sorting out my own habituated behaviors of protection and defense of myself, based on ideas of what defines who and what I am.  In some ways, I could say I am more aware of a general field of movement around me, than only that of the emotional fears within and as me. It is, a change of focus, from a currency of inflamed values projecting a story of protection over a story of greater presence and consideration of all that is me here. It is coming back into the very fabric of this reality. 

I looked at the sense of dread in the last couple of weeks, and upon moving to engage with others,  this sense of “ what if” comes up. It is a question as to whether or not I can in deed, do that which I move to share with greater clarity, which is bringing more focus into the practical reality as that very fabric that composes who and what I am as a physical expression of life.

I reviewed accelerated learning techniques. One area has to do with right and left brain use. The maths, that are more detailed oriented, are left brain oriented. Music, dance, art and the investigation of global issues are more right brain oriented and have an outcome of increasing overall information processing speeds. The contrast of these physically demanding skill sets, and being aware of global movements, is telling in itself. Being aware of global movements would by definition demand a greater presence of the physical use of resources in this reality, thereby enhancing awareness of the physical use of self, just as music and dance and art does. My one son is studying art. I talked with him the other day about automation. As one masters a skill set in regards to art, as in music, one gets to a point where one notices that what one has built becomes automated and can run away with one, if one does not catch it. One must go back to the basics to ensure one does not become automated in one’s actions. This can appear to be tedious, because one has to slow down and relook at the small. That means slowing down the automated movement that can feel like a running train inside one. My son already has started to notice this, well, if he can, and I have, it is more natural than I make out here! Yet, these skill sets demand that presence because they involve physical movement and not only imaginative movement within a set framework of information. One is seeing movement in physical time and space, the medium demands it. To do, one must reference physical movement. I see global resource use and movement as something that demands paying attention to the physical reality, and thus, this is why such awareness is placed in right brain function. This is turn would build a greater ability to process information faster. One has a physical reference of a living fabric. In contrast, only referencing a set body of information memorized within, would by design move more slowly. 

When I entered this home and had a slight reaction to a response towards my actions, that caused a momentary upset of behavior in the home, my focus on my own fear of definition, was a set box of beliefs that had nothing to do with the moment- even if the emotional response to my actions could have been cared for in a more gentle manner. It does not matter. I was distracted for a moment, on a belief, and though I could see around my own limitations in a moment, my own subtle reactions were still a distraction. They were also an automation, a running away of my own ideas about me, than any real movement in being present in the living fabric of reality;  that reality that must be used in such skill sets that involve more right brain activity, such as music, art, dance and global issues. I wold say, imagine all your words being learned in reference to that fabric, instead of only a set body of information,  or in protection and defense of inner beliefs that are a mis-use of a natural ability to be present and sense the very geometry of what is here as this physical reality? 

I would think that such reference would create a more stable human being, as that same part of self that can with skill set development, be able to recognize automation, which is noticing a subtle and slight separation from what one generates within and the movement of reality around one. What is also interesting is that once one can notice this, automation setting in, one can more readily recognize it in the movement of others. It is to say, “ too late” it is too visible, meaning once noticed there is no going back. Yet even here one must be careful. The same could be said of belief systems. Which is why if one should notice this, it would cause conflict should one point this out, because in effect one is pushing on an entity - as a time line of a series of values that has rolled itself up into  a ball and run away with itself - that entity is going to have a reaction as having to self realize and slow down and rebuild. That action in itself, is a change of pace that some may see as only a sudden change in itself.  That change is not necessarily a bad, but can appear to be disruptive if one is only focused on the momentary change. Overall, developing a presence, the kind that is of the right brain being involved, would enable one to not only see the parts ( those automated events) but also the context within which such automations are moving. Yet again, this is what the physical engagement of music, art and dance, and looking at the movement on the greater stage as global movement, would by design build within the self.  It gets pretty simple. It would be the same if one generated more words, or, had a mastery of words to the degree that one could read the overall generation and the self, as a relationship between the two, because one would begin to self realize what one generated as one would no longer have to think about the words as much. This is to place using language like paint, or notes, or a movement in and of itself, and to have the contrast of how resources are moving on a global scale, and how language is both a means to seeing patterns and being placeholders of information thereby improving memory skills and what distracts one from seeing the real fabric of earth, as the physical. Chaos is really being caught in a storm in a teacup. Yet that chaos made huge, as an inflammatory story, of limited values, is the stuff of distraction. I believe Noam Chomsky has said that people are distracted through huge arguments in a narrow focus/framework. 

One of the qualities that allow recognition of automated behaviors is a sense of being incomplete, which has a nature of restlessness to it. On some level the amazing ability of the self to understand automation, is to realize that somehow one has lost a stable foundation, as a mastery of self direction. At the same time, when realized as such, it becomes visible that allowing automation within to determine the self, has no long term gain. There is a sense that the rush is simply not worth it, its promise one of a false positive. One must pull back into what has greater longevity, to what can withstand the test of time.  Probably more struggle with correcting this than we realize, because in the end we cannot but NOT notice this. And we each know when we are not correcting it. This is why all hate is really self hate. As who and what we are, we are the means of awareness, so we cannot but recognize what we are doing within ourselves. 

I can see that even within writing this out, that bitterness I mentioned earlier, is really a state of fear. It is a state of fearing to lose something, which is really a means of showing myself that it is a demand within myself to slow down and investigate what is not in synch with what would being an ease of standing with what can be held that is always here all around me, as that very fabric of which I speak, that I need not fear losing, that the uncertainty can find constancy.  It is a fear of building a mistake, instead of realizing the building of being in a place where one can recognize an inner automation running away with itself. It is to realize a faith in recognizing when one ‘s presence as placement of awareness is steady and not of an automation as being the capacity of what it means to be human. Most masters understand this, and have that kind of faith, the company of which is the realization of the benefits of patience. Thus bitterness is really where I have not slowed down and investigated the expression of a relationship that opens a sharing of being present, meaning, a sharing of being present with this very capacity within me to recognize automation. It is describing something by what it is not. Sometimes, resistance reveals a point of change. Sometimes, recognition of automated behaviors has a similarity in that one has come to a point of a need to include a greater awareness. 

The resonant stories of time and space Day 804

I noticed this morning when I woke up a wave of wanting to give up. Red flag. I decided to just move with this. I breathed, slowed down and read the story of information within me. Looking at the emotional pull. It is usually that I do not have enough information, or that I am allowing something to be greater than the practical movement around me. 

In allowing this, and at the same time, moving to name this, I remembered an incident where I accepted a worst case scenario and found myself moving into calm. I realize that there were years when I practiced a skill, and would come to the same point of not seeing a way forward and only seeing a downward spiral. In real time, I would simply start moving, and then something would open up and a direction appeared. Within this, myself not realizing what I was taking with me that was the same that caused the sense of giving up! And that, in tandem with the patterns of taking the next step being the way forward. 

At the moment, either way is a story, a time line of events, of inner movements. It is a running within that is not in synch with moving without. I find that when I want to describe something as a mathematical equation, I am talking about story, about sequence, about interaction, relationships.  After all, what is the practical but a series of steps where one does the steps in real time, enjoying every texture, quality, intensity of and about things in real time. Also, I notice that the dialogues in the political spectrum a busyness in hypotheticals. As though it is being stuck in that moment of endless worst-case-scenario as a form of entertainment, creating an electrical storm- which evidently according to neurological mapping, it what is happening in the physical body. Though, at the same time, what is unique in a child, is an expression that is of perspectives as the qualities of the living physical world around us. In some ways it works both ways, it is more to what one is anchored.  In this I remember in high school sitting at a table of coming-of-age peers and having a sense that somehow something was being lost. Somehow, a lesser form was accepted. Some walked away to find something else, and some embraced without resistance that world. These tended to be more at ease with themselves. Others fell into various stages of grief. This telling in itself. And, this a reflection, mirrored in behaviors, of the very sequences I myself could and would allow in various moments in my life. Such as the memory that came forward this morning.( lol, this morning I remember a memory of a moment of morning, and I moored myself into calm). I remember also, a sense of the arrival of a physical storm not being as stormy as I initially thought/perceived. It was as though I moved in a different time line, where the spaces around the churned up weather had great distances of space, in contrast to my reaction to the physical storm ,where the motions of the storm appeared HUGE. In music, the same thing can happen, as the notes and sound appearing to be too much, and then, suddenly, one moves into a space where there is more space! In some ways, this is a kind of statistical analysis, meaning, a form of ordering things in a different way, or changing perspective in a quantum way. Perhaps, I could do this, in that storm, because I was doing a lot of musical math, changing meter, changing time. I was also a reader, I was doing the same in reading things, entering other perspectives.  I remember in my late thirties suddenly not being able to read novels. I would pick them up and read two sentences and put them down. They appeared to have the same patterns. I called it an angle of repose, meaning a soupy balance between two choices, and the overall choice was somehow not crossing some barrier. It is a sense that something is missing some depth. I say this in the words I used, in my own senses about my experiences. I also resisted relationships, because they would turn into this thick syrup, from my perspective and I avoided that. I suppose this is from years of playing too, because when I focused on that skill, it was usually more effective when I did not have the distraction of a man, as it exists in today’s world. Somehow, it should not be that way.  At the moment, I sometimes notice people walking up to me as having a bubble of a different tempo, as though I see the soup of which I speak. It is similar to sensing the very fabric of what is here, like seeing a loved one leave, what is left also has a color, one of a much greater lightness. I have seen this before too, a dog that was put down. It happened really fast, and my family around me, they did not notice. At that point I had promised myself, in relation to my husband that I would no longer remain quiet about all of this. I knew it would be hard, very hard, but nothing was going to stop me. NOTHING. Basically, Desteni is the only place I have found the most accurate descriptions of all of this, and without that, I most likely may not have realized that of which I speak without them.  I also realize that being focus is where one is most happy. And, in playing in tune, it has something about it that is of a stability that is eternal in some way. lol, I remember becoming annoyed when leading a quartet. It was annoying when another player was not listening, because it caused everything to be out of synch. Always had to choose to be concise, within what was specifically out of attention. Anything else would cause an emotional storm, and in every moment costing money, one could not afford to allow an emotional story take up the space. This is an unspoken thing among musicians. Somehow, in the movement, that which separates is rendered more visible. 

In moving into my own inner resonant experiences, catching a moment of a belief in a doom type of story sequence within me, and then embracing it, and then finding the calm, and realizing the practical, I see as self-forgiveness. This is not rejecting what is here, it is accepting it and creating  from that point. Yet, the intrinsic movement is one of being for-giving, as embracing what is here within, and moving to become in synch with what is here. Even coming-of-age stories are about this movement. It is that the antagonist and the protagonist are the self. Then, when sorted, one becomes more present and finds a form of self forgiveness to resolve and live greater connection to reality. 

I notice on the newsfeed what came up this week were some articles on a phenomenon that some psychics have, which is being able to read a place in some other place. There are even courses where one can learn to do this. There is even a group in India that teaches reading an object with eyes closed. What is it that “ reads” what is within us, as that doom and gloom wanting-to-give-up inner resonant construct? I mean, can one see this with one’s eyes? What is it that can change up the math/meter of the space around us? And, can that be occupied with the pull of political stories in the media to such a degree there is a great exclusion of practical reality? 

This reminds me of a story my sister told me. She had met a man who was upset because he realized with hindsight, that his adult years, in raising his children, became so caught up in doing Hockey his earlier adult years went by and he did nothing else. Even the “ friends” he had made at the time, that gathered together, he no longer had anything to do with.  He was looking back and asking himself why he ONLY did that, and how at the expense of that, he buried other interests. To some degree we all do this. I mean, we are capable of focusing on more than one thing. 

This has me look at our present system too. Our present system I would say, demands we focus on only a few things. It also does this through separation into learning a general scaffold about things in this world, that we then can pay to “ fill in” when this in itself is a form of down regulating intelligence.  This too, is done with story, with sequences of movements within ourselves. It can be an inner resonant story fettered with value judgements,  that can have a dialogue of varying quantifying values that have a space and time that can become a resonant story elevating one from the practical application of self with respect for this living reality.   We have this physical earth, and yet, as with this man reflecting as questioning of what he did during the adult years in which he raised his children,  we can separate from respect of this reality. This can be to the degree that what is being done with this physical resource that is the means of this living experience, that a few can through legerdemain pre-empt use of as the resources, to the degree that we see in the living reality around us. This is greater pollution and greater dis-ease in nature. We need only look and we need only ask why cancer is now killing more children than accidents, and only in the last decade or so.  How many of us really understand this earth, this home, this fabric that is the very means of life?  How many municipal workers understand that moss growing on a stem can indicate a high water mark, rather than some equations done with words in a piece of paper in relation to revenue generation? How many business owners in a town, within a given industry, pay others in an industry less, citing that their costs have gone up, without considering that if their costs have gone up, has this not happened to those from whom they are taking by paying them less? How have we humans come to accept a minimum wage that is not a living wage? How many of us do not realize that the labor of men is what generates economy, so why do we owe some federal entity when that entity exists because of the labor of men interacting with resources from an earth that no one can own because everyone eventually dies!  And this within a system that has done research in manifested effectiveness having a common denominator in those who have a more effective mastery of language, which is sound, which is a means of being specific and ordering that of which I speak as what one is being/allowing as that within and what is practical without! It is as though the way is given and in plain sight, and yet it is circumnavigated which means that one can blame no one but the self. One must anchor one’s self in the moment as a living relationship to what is here, respecting all things, and doing no harm. 

Look at what out schooling system does as well. It separates us from practical application, from living interaction, and has us abstract a set body of information. That in itself, is a form of separation by design! Within a lack of practical application, one acclimates to a focus on building ONLY an abstract of a story-line, as sequences of ideas about reality! Then is one’s words all aligned to an association of a set picture! And it is done under the guise of getting everyone on the same page when it is a math, a page, an order, a story as a resonant construct that lacks a living relationship to what is real and able-to-be-sensed all around us! And that is a more natural state!  It is a picture making practice within ONLY. And since having some kind of inner picture to use to self direct is better than having no inner structure, it is no wonder we drink the cool-aid in plain sight! It is mis-use of space and measure? One could argue that we can learn something from proclaimed-by-some-which-is-opinion supermen as masters of industry, and thereby be pulled into a value system that has a truth and not see the forest through the trees! Meaning not see, realize and understand that there is no such thing as a superman, because no one man can possibly do anything alone, there is a whole story line of movements as labor behind any industry done by men on this earth. This means that the real power is in the numbers. This means that having a federal government that tells us we are in debt, is a fabrication that is simply a mis-use of resources, just as that man who realized he spent all his time in his adult years involved in one thing, having come from a schooling system that was be design, creating an abstract that is a resonant blue print, of a very very limited and warped story of information because it is a general scaffold about something! This by design is a state of being removed  from a focus on  reality, yet accepted and allowed by the individual.  Astounding! Amazing how a distraction can be to live a vicarious non-doing relationship which could be the definition of entertainment! I suppose moving effectively within this, is like being in that storm in a boat, where is means slowing down and changing up the space to see the small and move within that. That is like walking through a crowd where the crowd appears to part to give one way. I suppose the best analogy to this is teaching music, where it is necessary to take in the whole and move to balance out imbalances. And, realizing within this that nothing can define one even if absorbed in a moment. And, if one knows the small, the basics, one can move to reorder them in a moment, so great is the real capacity of a human to READ what is within and what is without. That is the difference between one running on automation of an abstract and becoming a master. All masters realize the importance of the small, because, as I have done in music, my abstract began to run away from me, and I had to go back and reintegrate with the small to synch my presence back into the parts. I got to the point where the small was the most important thing. 

I am reading a book where a man talks about hypnotizing people. He notices that past life regressions are a lie, because the stories are all the same, most often of famous stories, and in America there is a lack of past life regressions from China. He realizes this is because in America we do not have may stories about individual lives in China! Thus, past life regressions are an illusion, they are simply a resonant imprint! 

If I contrast this with my own memories, or experiences, how much is really defined?  A thing that leaves a body, does not have the weight of the personality leaving with it. So, the weight of the supposed past-life stories of sequences of events, are but pictures and not real, this weight cannot leave because it is not what is real. Therefor, this hypnotist realized that emotions are not something that can be trusted! The stories of information coming up in a person from their subconscious mind are not what is real, it is the resonant blueprint of “ a general scaffold of information”! lol This a mis-use of resources once again because a human being is born being present before the resonant addition of an abstract of story that is not in synch with this living reality! That is like, from my perspective, an artistry of pure manipulation of what is here. It is a state of really messing with the geometry of reality, of life, which is a state of not respecting life. If one wants respect, one must give that. That is the golden rule. It is the one law that is necessary; to do no harm, to take the good, to give as you would receive. This is a common sense natural law! 

This was all done with the use of the resource ( re-source) of sound, as words, which are at the same time the means of calling things out by name, and lending focus onto reality. One’s inner resonant construct should be in synch with the physical reality. Or, have a practice of constant reference to the physical reality, because the physical reality is the super means of using the physical body as life in expression because that is what we are before religion, before programs as stories about things, that are merely a reflection of a state of separation from reality if not understood. I mean, realize how much FUN it would be to be able to utilize all one’s senses to here? Realize how much fun it would be to play one’s physical body instrument with mastery and grace, to move with life here! 

Protean is changeability. Day 798

More on what is means to be changeable

I am naturally able to change in a moment. The use of my words reveals my ability to change, as words are a reflection of my perspective about what is around me, they are the means of expression as me, because I am a human being. 

My skill with words, reveals the means and mode of my changeability in many ways. Yet, it is myself and on what I choose to focus, that becomes who and what I am, using this means of expression as my physical body, my instrument of and as being the life that is here that is me. I am physical, a physical embodiment of life, that is what I am here. It is for me to respect that which I am, all of it. If I allow my imagination to be larger than this life that is me here, I am disrupting life, a life that I cannot remember what lead me to be what I am here, thus, it is to realize and respect the physical that is the means of what I am here. My imagination, as the cumulative experiences I have embraced and followed, resonant within as me, can be a self created mirage,  which did not exist at birth and are the consequences of my environment, can become the mirage of information that I either realize as this, or believe to be more real than myself here, as the physical embodiment of what I am in totality. The physical is the reality of me, before imagination builds resonant mirages of information, with and as an inherent physical ability to absorb information, as my environmental information. Being able to absorb, as reflect the physical environment and the way the physical environment moves, even with imagined resonance, as mirages of belief, I come to absorb and either blindly accept or realize the differences and always look to the physical to ensure no harm is being done to what is real. I am an instrument that absorbs what is a perspective shared that is always about reality - a resonant construct about reality - maintaining a presence in the means as the physical instrument that is who and what I am here is my responsibility.

I can change that instrument with careful practice, informing the machine, as the physical instrument, to enable that instrument to move with presence as what I am as a physical state of being because what I practice can automate, and does come to automate me here. Or, I can allow myself to believe that my resonant mirage as beliefs, are larger than the life that enables me as the physical. It is interesting, because I remember creating music on an instrument. What could happen is that I would automate what I created, as specific forms. I could get caught in them, and not be able to change with ease, which meant that I had not developed a real processing of the means, as be able to instantly create new forms. I was repeating singular ways of expression. change from that appeared difficult, when the difficulty was moving counter to my own creations. A point of change is a point of most resistance, thus resistance is a way and means of realizing counter intuitive movements. Meaning, movement counter to one’s mirage. Or, what one expects, is not in alignment with practical reality. Same difference. What is friction but this? 

How I move, what I am able to do with ease, is a program of skills that I developed and utilized. This is changing the physical, or becoming a master of who and what I express with my physical body. Or, I can become an expression of abstracts about the physical, which is not being equal to the physical, as it is practicing changing only a resonance within me. Thus, change can be within my mirage, my mirror image of and as beliefs, a thing, a resonant object that is a form, and never the real thing, or I can be a real change as real skill development that brings the physical as me to move in practical applications with ease, being a master of me as who and what I really am in totality. This is respect of the physical.

I can see where I have allowed myself to believe the resonance, the mirage, within me is larger than reality, and how what I practice becomes the skills that are my capacity to effectively self direct as who and what I am as the totality of me here, as being a physical expression of and as life. What is interesting is how much a resonant construct when believed to be more real than reality, can be projected outwards, believed to be larger than life, and yet be so in separation from reality, it causes conflict in understanding and that conflict a distraction from the practical, consuming the life of the instrument, to the detriment of life, which is physical because this is the means of myself being here, in expression, as this came before the accumulated series of beliefs, opinions and ideas, that can create a separation from reality.  I am not processing what is life; the physical. Yet, I am the means to do so.

All of this reveals changeability. And it requires constant reference to this reality, to ensure skill sets ( a programing equal to communication with the physical, or probiotic resonance ) that are in respect of the physical reality. What I eat, what I think, what I choose, are all moments of change, and thus, my choices will determine who and what I function as within me, and what will be the effects of the physical instrument that is me here. The very resonant state of me, reveals what choices I have made, as the level of my synchronicity to life is reflected through the condition of my physical body. 

I am the creator of the change that is me, as this. And this is something that no one can be responsible for but myself. All of this reveals the very protean nature of who and what I am as a physical manifestation of life, where what I resonate shows me to myself. It is actually very simple. What complicates this is arguing for the state of lack that is the mirage made larger than life, which is a physical life. 

No one can be responsible for me but me, and I am the very means of being the necessary change to and towards what is best for me. What is best for me, is what is best for all, as I am the same, as equal, to all as who and what is the very fabric of me here, which is physical manifestation. In a sea of resonant mirages, the sea shore is always here, in plain sight. Thus, just as I realized my own automations within performing, as practiced and made resonant constructs, so can I be the necessary change to always relate to the resonance constructs within me, as my practices in the past, and cross reference the physical reality with and as every breath, here. I am protean.

Osho Tarot Card

Continuing with the word ' protean ' Day 797

Continuing to look at the word ‘ protean.’

One of the things I realize is how much I move into my imagination. This is change in itself. This reflects an ability to change, in a moment. From one moment to the next I find myself imaging things, imaging scenarios. I am no longer processing what is here, in plain sight. What did I miss? 

It is as those times, when being with people, conversing with others, that I realize I have lost a focus, and missed what was being said. That point of change, from listening to listening to what is within me, is change. Thus, I can change. Who is my master in this scenario? What am I allowing myself to listen to, to change to, to embrace, to accept as the attention of myself? Obviously, I am the one who allowed the change into a focus of something. Overall, this means I change, it is not someone else being that change for me, it is me. A contrast, is those times when I retained a focus on another, or a thing, and heard what was brought forth, or watched what was being done. In this, every moment here, as who and what I am, reveals to me that I am constantly living change, self accepted and self directed change. I am responsible for what I focus on. Also, no one can be the directive of that within me. I choose to watch television. I choose to read. I choose what I focus on. No one can reach into me, and make the decision for me. 

Thus, I have an ability to change, to direct my focus. If I interact with notes, building an ability to recognize notes, and by extension, patterns in the use of notes, I am building an ability to process the math as the notes, realizing the shapes, the forms, the tensions, all the dimensions of what it means to shape and form sound structures. It is no different with words. I am the instrument and the words are the notes, They are notes that can never be the real thing, they sound about things, our words as notes. It is that words are notations about things, this is communication. 

In the discipline of music, one must be aware of what one is doing with one’s body. If tensions build up, they accumulate and expressing the music becomes more difficult. The instrument as the human body, begins to compound tensions, and one must compensate, which is a distraction from being openly attentive to what one is doing. Then the hiding begins, as one does not want others to realize what one focused on as an accumulation of a distraction. And so this compounds. It is really no different than when we go to take a test. We know when we know something, when we focused on something in a way that builds an ability to change into it, with responsible self direction. 

I was driving in my car, and found myself imagining something- a form of entertainment, mirroring in many ways, the practice of watching television. I stopped, I breathed, I slowed myself down, placed my presence into my hands for a moment, a realized the steering wheel. I looked out at the passing trees. I am here. 

I have done this many times. This time, I also asked questions. I have started to use the where, when, what type of questions. Instead of only looking at the trees, I asked myself what are the relationships I am seeing that are here, right in front of me? The trees have a relationship with the air, with the sun, with the clouds. It was to look at the information that is here, that is real, that is physical, and directly in front of me. This, in itself, was myself changing. 

Thus, how can I turn this natural ability to change, into changing in ways that respect what is here, as this living reality. If I can realize that I mis-practiced a piece of music, because how I practiced that piece of music, remains when I go to perform that piece of music, the history of my every movement, as focus, remains with me, thus what state of being I allowed as a focus on myself remains if I do not realize how I was utilizing this ability to change, as to selectively focus on things, with this being within my imagination, or communicating, as interacting with focus, on what was/is directly here. My distractions remain, which is a gift because I show myself to myself,  within the choices, or the changes, I accept and allow. 

I am the very means of change. I am protean. I am as how I work, responsible for what I allow within this ability to change in every moment, because what I am, is using this means of change all the time! 

Looking at the word ' Protean ' Day 796

Looking at the word Protean

This week, I remembered AS KING myself in my twenties how I could be more able to change to meet the expression of a musical piece. Anecdotally, how could I be more changeable within in one moment, playing a  more classical piece of music by Mozart and then be able to change to the whole measure of a piece of music from another era, or genre, such as Brahms. I realized it involved being more changeable. After all, what is music but a math, a form, with different tensions, timings, measures, values, intensities. All things that I may change in a moment, just as I would change within the values of numbers, as in playing with a formula using numbers. And then, also, changing within a form of movement, as in building a set of steps for the entryway into my home from the outside. It all involves realizing, as seeing, as measuring, as being aware of, the values, the qualities of the things I am placing myself into a relationship with as a focus onto. The state of being of a person, in terms of their development in relation to their state of measure within, and the state of measure, as qualities composing the whole, as the world around us, as the without. 

Many years ago, within standing in front of a classroom of 4th grade students, coming from being immersed in a musical environment, I looked out across that room of sentient beings, and realized that I was dealing with so many different measures of exposure to values that I could not possibly address each one. AND, I was in a system - as all things are systems, which is a series of relationships. This system was one of a direct instruction model. Meaning, my job, within the formula, was of one imparting information to many to bring forward a set body of information, composing a picture, abstractly,  to that body of many. Thus, my responsibility in that set of orders, was to bring forward a picture about something, and then practice allowing the body to build relationships into having some greater insight, that was then for the individuals to build within from, and upon. I, as the teacher, could not be that for the students. It is like a small means of building a greater understanding, one that can work when the given structures are built upon, as expanded outside of that initiating situation. It is just like a student with an instrument. Someone of more, or greater mastery, directs towards more realizations within the doing of the thing, that is then utilized by the user, to  expand in self discovery as to what the relationships as the values of that instrument exist within to realize a greater working relationship. Simple. It is an act of stepping into understanding a system, because in effect, everything is of parts working together, which means things are systems. This means that everything is essentially a math. This is how creation works. 

Within this, how can I be more flexible, more changeable, more fluid within myself in relation to respecting what is me that is all around me, as who and what I am in the physical state of sentience that is what is here? 

I remember parents coming to me to request violin lessons. Some would become my friend and then ask for lessons, with a story of what they could afford. It took me a while to catch this. When I said I could not survive on the sum they said they could pay, within me knowing, for example that they never drove a car that was more than 5 years old, they were suddenly no longer the friend they proposed to be. This was a hard thing for me to face, and it brought on anger and disgust. Here, I was moving, as my emotional reactions of blame and disgust, in self interest, not applying what I was using to realize/process the defaults ! Also, I had a hard time, because of beliefs in being polite, in pointing out certain logistical fallacies in the body of information, which was revealed through layers of information, as small anecdotal actions building a picture. This picture being the money being used not valuing the education of the child. Or, wanting the education of the child, which was understood, to not have too great a cost.  Ironically, educating a child is the most expensive thing, and why? Because, it is the most important thing. It is, in effect, realizing a proper use of a natural sentient ability to realize systems effectively. This brings me back to my own point, that of realizing greater changeability, or a more sound ability to process the values and relationships, within and without, about this living reality and my own built ideological constructs within that. 

I thought, or openly asked myself about living greater changeability in relation to musical practices, and yet, I did not relate this to the sounding, as the directives moving me here, as essentially being the same thing! An inner mis-use of the imagination, as an amplification of certain self defining values, is and can be a HUGE distraction! This can slow down an innate changeability. It is like the inner framework of accepted values, gets caught in its own picture show at the expense of everything else. This then becomes a program within that is not in synch with reality. It becomes what we can call, a slow processing dis-order. This problem is rampant in our public schools. I have sat with a superintendent, from one of the best high schools in America today, who has said to me that the number of slow processing disorders in the school are extensive.  

A general scaffold of information is not an education. Within a bubble of comparison, from a state of lack, it can appear to be a more. That is an illusion. This is how a ‘ good ‘ can really be a limitation. 

On a personal level, a general scaffold of a framework of information, within, using an abstraction about something to lend direction ONLY, creates a state that is missing effective awareness as it is lost in a mis-use of the imagination not having effectively practiced respecting  the qualities and relationships of what is in plain sight as this instrument of the physical reality that is the life that is here. Separation is done through a system, awareness is built through systematic and effective movement, as respect of living reality. In effect, because humans use communication, a mis-use of words can create a stagnant processing dis-order. It is really no different than myself sensing I should have a greater ability to be more fluid in changing in a moment, to expressing Mozart and then expressing Brahms.  If I have practiced processing information ONLY abstractly, without enough practical experience, would not my processing of information move into disorders within changing into another abstracted form of information? I have essentially practiced one mode of operations without application, which is slow and of a state of distraction,  misprint in the cells of the body, creating a misalignment to reality. I then become that, and change appears counter intuitive. I then get lost in a comfort zone of not-necessarily-bad information, yet limited information, where the lack of spatial relationships in reality, appears to upset that which I have practiced! It is a quantum imbalance, as a systemic series of relationships. One of which punishment for, is not a corrective process of balancing out, as finding solutions to reopen a natural ability to learn, to process information, to respect this living reality, and to learn to move in synch with and as it. After all, this is where real happiness exists, because we are anxious when we are insecure, and happy when we know something to the extent we can communicate effectively and build, as create, that which can remain stable, and that which can realize transformation, leading to no longer living in fear. In asKING, I can realize greater structural awareness of how all of this works, and call out the logistical fallacies that are polarized value judgements, that are a processing of information in separation from reality. We all know when we are in a polar vortex of limited constructs as ideas, spinning within, building friction and leading no where. We see this in a sudden contrast when we step out of it, and in a moment, sense the whole and the parts and wonder where we have been. 

Ineffective processing is an amplification of limited values, layered and resonant within, from a practice of focus on structures without real respect, as cross reference to this living physical reality. And yet, that ability to focus on ‘ something’ reflects an ability to process information. What i come to realize, more clearly, is that all the research in reading skills development, makes it so clear, that the greater our vocabulary, the greater our ability to process the notes, as the words, the greater our ability to do what is essentially the math of what is here around us. Our ‘ song’ within, must be able to move in synch with the math of what is here around us. Humans with a more effective vocabulary, are more able to process what is all around them, which means what is happening within, and what is without. It can process the past, a resonant amplification in the body, and what is focused upon in the conscious mind, and what is without, as the same constructs in other humans around us, and the math of this existence. If we as a species, actually are self honest with who and what we are, we already know this, and have flashing moments where we see between the limitations of a mis-use of the instrument that is who and what we are here in this reality.  It is simple, what is complicated is a math of limitation, that is a resonant mis-take of and as a reflection of this reality projected from within each individual, each instrument of and as the human physical body. One must develop a critical processing of this math within and without, to become more in synch with one’s shadow existence, as a system of relationships, and change to be changeable in processing the math of the systems around us as the reality as the physical, and a superimposed system that is on one front,  a mechanism to control that lack of real processing ability, that is what our bodies are the perfect means to be and do. Essentially, this means to accept the gift of life that is a correct use of this instrument. 

I will continue with the word ‘ Protean.’ 

Thinking Big, Acting Small Day 795

Think big act small

This is a phrase, that I find myself repeating at the moment. I ask myself what does this mean? 

It is to utilize the what, where, why, when, and how.  All of these a basic math, as one recognizes the present, this moment, as such lends attention to the small act that is what one can do in any given moment. Such an equation of recognizing qualities of and as the things that are here as the physical, that substance one uses to move oneself as what one is here, as a physical state of being. These are the means to looking at the small as a sum of parts to then make a choice that respects what is here, as the very means of being, and to realize a focus of consideration with presence of more than only self, towards that which enables the self to exist.  I mean, why not master moving here, why not learn to move here, in this physical reality with ease? 

It is the same as mastering a musical instrument.  One must be aware of what is moving within the self, and the effects of what is created on the environment around one. If I did not maintain a balance, meaning myself moving with ease, the imbalance, as a tension, would accumulate and attention would have to leave focus on the greater whole, and attend to what was not attended to in the onset within the self, and rebalance and correct. That which accumulated and took attention away from being in awareness of more than only the self, as one cannot perform with a group if one is not listening to all parts. 

One’s language , as what one speaks as sounds, representing thoughts, reflective of the values one chooses to place on one’s tongue are never the real thing, and always about what is here, as one’e experiences. When we only listen to what one says, without placing it into the physical and practical context , do we separate ourselves from what is real, and take the picture show  ABOUT what is here, to be more than what is here? I mean, a baby is not born with language, with the ability to manipulate a tongue into words, this they learn from their environment. As is made clear in all reading research, as research in reading skills development, those who have a larger  effective vocabulary, simply have greater success. An effective vocabulary is what one tongues, having a direct relationship to the sum of the parts, as the integrity of this practical - because it is physical - reality, around us.

This would mean that we often focus more on the equations as the words people speak, than we do on the reality. Thus, words are a great means of self definition and also a great means of manipulation. Words from a distance, meaning words dictating what should be done in a moment in a given place, on this earth,  cannot possibly be in consideration of all the things that are in that place, because the presence of the parts of one given place is not possible from a distance within a consciousness locked in value judgements misusing the imagination. Such is a human being who has lost all sentiment, or sentience, because listening to the words of another, and building pictures in one’s head based on a starting point of a set of words, is a state of not being focused in reality. This is what, in all common sense, has been done with children placed in a box, away from reality, to then learn about reality, in a closed room, practicing making pictures in imagination ONLY, over and over and over again. When we repeat an action, we become that action, as this is how one learns about things, to look and to attempt to interact until one realizes the parts. Thus, to say we learn by repetition, is a lie, because we try and try again until we see, until that absorbent ability senses the parts and then practices moving them accordingly, within proper function. This is what we did without  manuals, as we learned to sense our arms and our legs and our tongue; we in essence,  sensed the parts and learned of their relationships to the whole. In this, we acted small, to think big, we acted small to become aware of the environment around us, that bigger extension of ourselves, the reality we were in a relationship with. 

The fewer words a person effectively knows, the greater the tendency towards degrees of violence and frustration. These are actions of force, which means that one does not have the vocabulary to direct one’s self effectively. One has not integrated the necessary small acts that are required to get something done effectively. In order to increase vocabulary, one must not only practice the language, as place correct sounds on the tongue, utilizing the human physical instrument effectively, one must also build considerate relationships of and towards the reality that is what enables that tongue to accept a sound to use to communicate. 

One example, from my perspective that reveals how great is the separation from considering reality, a physical reality, are the social warriors, who believe that the personality, which is a composition of values used to define a person is greater than the real story of creation as the real symbols as the physical reality that is all around us, that is here. Acts of resistance towards anything that does not perpetually substantiate that self definition which is of shadow as ideas about one’s potential is in fact, in measure, a state of resonant separation from reality.  Realize from a subtle shift in perspective, it is threatening to realize a personification of values used to define the self are potentially limited on a physical planet, if the planet should be considered before in-culturated/repeatedly practiced as absorbed from parents of the same movements , as a series of value judgements/self embraced definitions are an act in lieu of respect for what is the same as the self, as the physical. This means a shift out of reality, into self inner ideas about who and what self is and does. Here, imagination is mis-used because one is using thought in a small way, instead of thinking big, as respecting all of what one is on a physical planet, AND respecting that before creating a shadow of personification of ideas, as which qualities are potentially generating a more, which creates a system of survival as competition to constantly compare qualities as values composing a combination of ideas about the self rather than who and what the self as a physical state of being really in practical fact is. Recognizing the small , as all things, moving as always being in a relationship to the physical reality, with respect, as focus here, is acting small, and yet considering the whole. It is to act small, and to think big. 

This is why, those who have an effective vocabulary, have more effective action in this reality. An effective vocabulary, is really having mastered a larger number of words, where the words have a direct relationship to this practical reality. Personalities fighting for their justification, are a series of words that have a relationship to a busyness in self definition without regard for who and what they really, practically, physically exist within and as. It is a mis use of the imagination, it is acting in self interest, as taking what one has inflamed into what one is as a singular value, and expecting everyone to make one’s self projected value judgement larger than the real and physical creation surrounding the self as a physical state of being. Most of us fear facing that ghost in the machine, because we are products of this separation from reality, so well defined in a box, for 13 years or so, in total separation from reality. What a beautiful design to cause whole generations of people to completely lose touch with what is real, the physical. I believe it is a post script to our churches. Or even a post-script-spell to a scare-crow type of figure when the crops failed as agriculture moved into more monopolized designs. Was our initial worship that figure to scare away the crows? Was that a small movement, or force, against nature? Was that the first personification made idol with the stuff of the physical?  What was that small movement that started a time-line of events that built a tree of less dimension, as a picture show lacking focus on working with the practical living physical reality all around us? When did we forget who and what we really are? When did we forget that we are the sum of all parts, as the big, where respecting the small was the means to realizing the whole. I mean, have a look, why do we start with the abc’s and end with the SAT’s? 

It is all a math, and it is time to form in the image and likeness of what is the means of being here, which is the physical reality. This is to think big and to open up effective practice, as to act small. It is so simple- that personification of hyper inflated values as the character of personification, is the ghost in the machine that is composed of value judgements that misuse the body, creating electrical currents to perpetuate the picture show in the head, that burn up the physical body because one is not in real presence with the life that is here, that is physical. One has no real integrity. One must become like a Sherman tank tongue, and speak up about this, again and again, and again, until it is heard, until one sees this, because as human beings, that are haptic entities, we are most happy when we are aware, we are most happy when we are thinking big and acting small.