PETRIfication and changeability What is a structural resonance? Day 800

Petrification and changeability

One of the things I notice, especially in talking with people, is interest yet also, a sense of an inability to move, as in take the next step into following through. This would suggest, that an ability to realize is inherent, and yet that ability to change has a form of petrification. Anxiety is a busyness in itself, within consuming the attention, as it has the nature of being insistent. I mean, when one master’s something effectively, one’s ability to generate, has a more consistent quality to it, which feeds upon itself, and allows growth and faith in one’s ability. When one has the opposite, as a practice of being anxious, as having an insistent voice of and as “ what if?” what becomes the echoing voice within? What becomes of the resistance to actual doing that is that voice of and as “ what if?” ? Can such a culture of fear cause a resonant wall of belief that interrupts and petrifies?  One is able to see and yet, because things tend to automate, especially if we forget how this works, we have a resonant discord in terms of being focused and of that which leads to real mastery of something.

In research in children who do well in school, and those who do not, it is understood that the parents of a child do not need to have a degree in higher education for a child to do well in school. This is because the parents can walk the information with the child and learn with the child. This means that adults can learn as they are adults. This means that when one does not know something, be it in the form of knowledge and information only, or real understanding that comes with application, it is because it has not been walked, and yet, as research in education reveals, and as  stated above, parents need not have that higher degree for their children to do well in our current form of child education. This is also something that would embarrass many parents, because it places greater responsibility onto the parents. I am surprised that this is not something shared with parents by teachers in a consistent and constant voice. After all, how do television commercials work? They repeat, again and again. If anything, given this understanding, it is also the responsibility of teachers to realize this in word, again and again towards parents. 

Back to petrification. After all, if a parent is not doing this well understood and researched MEASURE, that makes sense because ultimately, things are built; understanding is built just as learning to crawl is something built, that things are built, what is built comes from both sides of behavior. If a behavior of insecurity continues, and is repeated, it is essentially practiced. If a behavior of careful and consistent movement within a discipline is practiced, with care, then one masters that skill. In essence, one is still within both scenarios, practicing the building of a skill set. That skill set is either of fear, as all the “ what if’s” or of the measure that lends effective self generation ! To believe that one does not have discipline, one actually is always disciplined, because one is practicing something, some measure, some idea, some value, some belief, some form. When one does that again and again and again, it is a practice, because this is how things work. In other words, as who and what we are we are practicing SOMETHING. This is also why we tend to blame ourselves, as in all hate is self hate, because we essentially understand in a kind of hazy forgotten way, that what we do, what we move as within, or without, is our practice, is how we have disciplined ourselves, is what we have chosen to be a disciple of! Thus, an inability to change, a resistance to change, can be a state of petrification because what we have practiced and/or repeated as a form as words and ideas within ourselves, layering this as a practice that builds a discipline, can either be of beliefs that limit movement of insights that lend a greater ability to flow with and change, and realize the awesomeness of real building, utilizing how we work for better behaviors which, in this context, would reflect as a greater ability to change because this is understood. If one is caught in limiting beliefs, that can become a resonant wall that petrifies one’s ability to be that parent without a higher level of education actually walking with the child, making sure they build an effective understanding to the degree that child can self generate with confidence. 

Thus, when I face a client, for example, and that client appears to agree, yet with time they appear to not move, what is it that hinders this movement, but an inner built resonant series of repeated beliefs that are causing a form of petrification in relation to living what is understood as a parent not needing to already have information within them, or understanding or insight, because they can grow and learn with the child and that this growing and expanding, is repeating in a disciplined way, something other than perhaps beliefs that have been repeated within again and again with a lack of understanding how this all works. It is incredible that in the research in teaching children to read, all of this is made visible in what findings that research contains! 

I have been in a school situation, where a boy that came from a home life that lacked attention that child needed and wanted. This boy would, when it came time to read, become so frustrated he tended to use violence towards objects to express his shear frustration at not being able to read. It was unfortunately out of control. Yet, this behavior was a loud voice and a practiced behavior for this boy. He had not managed to get beyond that mood or tone of expression. And, the very form of our public schools are not meant to be that for him. They are a direct instruction model, they are not meant to be the one on one model, because that is costly. Also, just as with animals, once a practice, as a discipline has repeated to the extent it becomes the master of the child, just as effective discipline becomes a mastery of a human, it takes an incredible effort to change that behavior because it is understood that it is more difficult to correct a mistake than it is to learn something correctly in the first place. That behavior can become a form of inner petrification, in that changing it appears to not be an option, yet, with great effort, it can happen. Who ultimately spends most of their time with children and are responsible for that child, but the parent? And, since education is the most important thing, it would make sense in our current money system it is the most expensive thing! And yet, it can be the easiest thing because a parent can walk with a child and build understanding with the child! I can see where there would be so many many justifications coming up in relation to these simple facts that are in our research. This can become such a wall of resistance to what is actually very natural! It means we as humans have great power, what is lacking is to accept this power and take self responsibility! Thus, what is petrification but a fear of taking self responsibility? It all narrows down to fear. 

What is the way out of fear? It is to use one’s discipline which one is using at all times, and to ensure that one directs one’s discipline into building effective understanding of the information that is this physical and practical reality right here, right in front of us as this physical LIVING reality. 

Look at the well known statement of and as trying to get a man to look at information that would take away his salary because it would mean that the means of that man making in income would end, is a form of a fear of change. It is a form of being frozen in a set body of information, one that has been practiced again and again, one that has been through discipline, what that man believes. Thus, when new information comes along, that moves against that resonant blue print of information, that resonant body as the projection of information about something, that is used to direct that man, will ignore, spite, criticize, reject, attack, belittle in many ways, even hiding from that which upsets that inner resonant belief system. This is a form of rejection based on a fear. That boy who cannot read, he is acting out a practice perhaps allowed too many times, and without proper support that cannot be given by a school, to the extent what happens as the self direction is that of that lack expressing itself in violent form. It is the same, one is simply more manifested in reality in a different way. What humans tend to do is justify one action as not being as bad as another, this in itself a means of distracting from addressing the real issue- which is a form of gossip. Project the name of the problem out there, create a discussion around naming that thing ONLY, and time goes by and it is time to leave - this being a form of escape. Even been to a meeting and it appears there is someone there to bring forward a good, and extend that presentation throughout the timeline of the meeting so that what really needs to be addressed does not happen? Where does the statement that a man will not interact with information that threatens their job come from? One can become a master of FEAR, as this is really what this is, it is living being a master of fear. The terms, if one turns the word FEAR into an acronym  is Fear Everything And Run of Face Everything And Rise! We all have the responsibility to be that parent, the one who lacks understanding and yet, sits down and builds a correct discipline because in essence we are doing the same no matter which direction we allow. 

Petrification is being caught in a petri dish of information that one has practiced again and again and again, which is being disciplined!  Behaviors of that limited discipline in ignoring what is here as this living world around us, can accumulate and build into a resisting resonance called behavior. This is why, someone wrote a fairy tale about an egg that falls off a wall, where all the men around us cannot put that egg back together again. Which discipline has been the practice of you? And yet, this makes it clear that this was built, which means it can be un-scattered and rebuilt in simple ways  using the same that built it, a step by step consistent practice over time, until a change happens, which it will, because this is how this works. 

What is a VIRUS FREE MIND ? 

Thinking Big, Acting Small Day 795

Think big act small

This is a phrase, that I find myself repeating at the moment. I ask myself what does this mean? 

It is to utilize the what, where, why, when, and how.  All of these a basic math, as one recognizes the present, this moment, as such lends attention to the small act that is what one can do in any given moment. Such an equation of recognizing qualities of and as the things that are here as the physical, that substance one uses to move oneself as what one is here, as a physical state of being. These are the means to looking at the small as a sum of parts to then make a choice that respects what is here, as the very means of being, and to realize a focus of consideration with presence of more than only self, towards that which enables the self to exist.  I mean, why not master moving here, why not learn to move here, in this physical reality with ease? 

It is the same as mastering a musical instrument.  One must be aware of what is moving within the self, and the effects of what is created on the environment around one. If I did not maintain a balance, meaning myself moving with ease, the imbalance, as a tension, would accumulate and attention would have to leave focus on the greater whole, and attend to what was not attended to in the onset within the self, and rebalance and correct. That which accumulated and took attention away from being in awareness of more than only the self, as one cannot perform with a group if one is not listening to all parts. 

One’s language , as what one speaks as sounds, representing thoughts, reflective of the values one chooses to place on one’s tongue are never the real thing, and always about what is here, as one’e experiences. When we only listen to what one says, without placing it into the physical and practical context , do we separate ourselves from what is real, and take the picture show  ABOUT what is here, to be more than what is here? I mean, a baby is not born with language, with the ability to manipulate a tongue into words, this they learn from their environment. As is made clear in all reading research, as research in reading skills development, those who have a larger  effective vocabulary, simply have greater success. An effective vocabulary is what one tongues, having a direct relationship to the sum of the parts, as the integrity of this practical - because it is physical - reality, around us.

This would mean that we often focus more on the equations as the words people speak, than we do on the reality. Thus, words are a great means of self definition and also a great means of manipulation. Words from a distance, meaning words dictating what should be done in a moment in a given place, on this earth,  cannot possibly be in consideration of all the things that are in that place, because the presence of the parts of one given place is not possible from a distance within a consciousness locked in value judgements misusing the imagination. Such is a human being who has lost all sentiment, or sentience, because listening to the words of another, and building pictures in one’s head based on a starting point of a set of words, is a state of not being focused in reality. This is what, in all common sense, has been done with children placed in a box, away from reality, to then learn about reality, in a closed room, practicing making pictures in imagination ONLY, over and over and over again. When we repeat an action, we become that action, as this is how one learns about things, to look and to attempt to interact until one realizes the parts. Thus, to say we learn by repetition, is a lie, because we try and try again until we see, until that absorbent ability senses the parts and then practices moving them accordingly, within proper function. This is what we did without  manuals, as we learned to sense our arms and our legs and our tongue; we in essence,  sensed the parts and learned of their relationships to the whole. In this, we acted small, to think big, we acted small to become aware of the environment around us, that bigger extension of ourselves, the reality we were in a relationship with. 

The fewer words a person effectively knows, the greater the tendency towards degrees of violence and frustration. These are actions of force, which means that one does not have the vocabulary to direct one’s self effectively. One has not integrated the necessary small acts that are required to get something done effectively. In order to increase vocabulary, one must not only practice the language, as place correct sounds on the tongue, utilizing the human physical instrument effectively, one must also build considerate relationships of and towards the reality that is what enables that tongue to accept a sound to use to communicate. 

One example, from my perspective that reveals how great is the separation from considering reality, a physical reality, are the social warriors, who believe that the personality, which is a composition of values used to define a person is greater than the real story of creation as the real symbols as the physical reality that is all around us, that is here. Acts of resistance towards anything that does not perpetually substantiate that self definition which is of shadow as ideas about one’s potential is in fact, in measure, a state of resonant separation from reality.  Realize from a subtle shift in perspective, it is threatening to realize a personification of values used to define the self are potentially limited on a physical planet, if the planet should be considered before in-culturated/repeatedly practiced as absorbed from parents of the same movements , as a series of value judgements/self embraced definitions are an act in lieu of respect for what is the same as the self, as the physical. This means a shift out of reality, into self inner ideas about who and what self is and does. Here, imagination is mis-used because one is using thought in a small way, instead of thinking big, as respecting all of what one is on a physical planet, AND respecting that before creating a shadow of personification of ideas, as which qualities are potentially generating a more, which creates a system of survival as competition to constantly compare qualities as values composing a combination of ideas about the self rather than who and what the self as a physical state of being really in practical fact is. Recognizing the small , as all things, moving as always being in a relationship to the physical reality, with respect, as focus here, is acting small, and yet considering the whole. It is to act small, and to think big. 

This is why, those who have an effective vocabulary, have more effective action in this reality. An effective vocabulary, is really having mastered a larger number of words, where the words have a direct relationship to this practical reality. Personalities fighting for their justification, are a series of words that have a relationship to a busyness in self definition without regard for who and what they really, practically, physically exist within and as. It is a mis use of the imagination, it is acting in self interest, as taking what one has inflamed into what one is as a singular value, and expecting everyone to make one’s self projected value judgement larger than the real and physical creation surrounding the self as a physical state of being. Most of us fear facing that ghost in the machine, because we are products of this separation from reality, so well defined in a box, for 13 years or so, in total separation from reality. What a beautiful design to cause whole generations of people to completely lose touch with what is real, the physical. I believe it is a post script to our churches. Or even a post-script-spell to a scare-crow type of figure when the crops failed as agriculture moved into more monopolized designs. Was our initial worship that figure to scare away the crows? Was that a small movement, or force, against nature? Was that the first personification made idol with the stuff of the physical?  What was that small movement that started a time-line of events that built a tree of less dimension, as a picture show lacking focus on working with the practical living physical reality all around us? When did we forget who and what we really are? When did we forget that we are the sum of all parts, as the big, where respecting the small was the means to realizing the whole. I mean, have a look, why do we start with the abc’s and end with the SAT’s? 

It is all a math, and it is time to form in the image and likeness of what is the means of being here, which is the physical reality. This is to think big and to open up effective practice, as to act small. It is so simple- that personification of hyper inflated values as the character of personification, is the ghost in the machine that is composed of value judgements that misuse the body, creating electrical currents to perpetuate the picture show in the head, that burn up the physical body because one is not in real presence with the life that is here, that is physical. One has no real integrity. One must become like a Sherman tank tongue, and speak up about this, again and again, and again, until it is heard, until one sees this, because as human beings, that are haptic entities, we are most happy when we are aware, we are most happy when we are thinking big and acting small. 

Looking at the word " sharing ' Day 788

Sharing,

 redefining the word sharing.

Show air, open up the form, bring it forward to rebalance within principle of and as what is best for all.  The principle of oneness and equality, into what respects all things, taking that which is good and does no harm. This being a state of ease, of reciprocity, doing the math, moving in accord of an expression of creation.  This being, from my perspective, a presence in synch with a knowing that is  a state of certainty. It is a form of not telling a lie. It is a form of what is more eternal,  it is a state that no one can take away.  It is living potential with a steady absolute purpose- the only place where the absolute stands,  as in that word - absolute- one is living the realization of  ab/a-way solve, or a-way son/sun,  a way of creation/expansion.  The prefix ‘ ab’ means away, so as a movement, absolutely - ute, can be to always give/send away the solution, as realizing there are no problems and only solutions. Some take patience to resolve, yet, just as in sailing a large boat, one holds, the balance.  I notice that when I have not found that steady solution,  I become loopy, like children that cannot hold a word, as there are too many emotional triggers erupting from experiences from a past of wanting to survive in an environment.  When I cannot remain in what is actually more natural, I become loopy, I am within a state of not being able to structure a correction that I can apply with greater ease. Interesting how words can narrow a focus, and lend structure, to then bring forward clarifying forms that allow one to ground one’s self  into the small movements that are the means to the end as practical actions.  The ideas, beliefs and opinions, no longer predominant on the horizon,  distracting one from applicative actions in real time.  Paranormal activity, is but the use of limited information that then uses ad hominem and hyperbole to fill the spatial lack, which in itself creates that same distractive business. It is what I recently read, as that movement of using only 10 percent of one’s presence into a limited construct of information- lol, it is like living in a hot air balloon .  It is not the ‘ air ‘ as the space of what is here all around us, as the physical.  

Thus, the word ‘ sharing ‘ is the ring, as the reverberation, of airing, as focusing here, as airing what is here in the context of respecting all things, as no longer projecting a limited construct from within,  and opening one’s self up to realize the ring, as in ringing, as in the sound, of life, always present and always right here in plain sight. As I live in the moment, here, where the practical is lived because this is where one directs, as nothing was ever done within thinking about it.  

Thus, the word sharing, is to embrace my own accepted and allowed limitation, the consequential inflated and protective value judgements, and the practical, as the action of respecting what is here in this moment, to balance the focus of myself, within what brings ease, as a state of knowing, that then expresses what practical small and simple movement, is the means towards what  ‘ rings ‘ true, as what opens a greater ability to remain present in this reality, this physical and practical living reality that is always around me, composed by and of, the potential to realize  what is best for all. 

When I am in fear, which is being inferior to life, which is self interest, as separation from the realization that I am equal in substance to all things, as all things are eye in another life. I move into comparison, imagining worst case scenarios,  fearing an imaginative loss, forgetting to respect all things, allowing a limited ideological resonant belief to define who and what I am, via a mis-use of the imagination, and comparison, always a form of projection with values judgements,  that i attach to objects from the world around me.  In this I am not living solutions, with a sense of giving, as the realization in fact that what is here is me in another life. 

Thus, sharing, is listening to what is here, in the moment, placing it in the context of all things here, as respecting and realizing who and what I am as a physical form, on a physical infinite planet, and doing a math, as assessing this reality, to realize solutions, as opening up the space, to make the only choice, which is the choice that is best for me, is to consider all things, taking that which is good as what does no harm. This opens focus onto the form and function of here, through the realization of a limited focus on a self interested system of values that is a mind consciousness  system, back into what is more natural and can process living reality,  as the self as life that is always here, and need only be embraced. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare myself to others.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within and as living principle, I realize greater respect of all things, and within that I see further.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into comparison, in a bubble, within limited constructs of information, colored with value judgements, at myself in fear of loss, which is an idea, and not myself being present, as I am allowing distractions of and as value judgements, and not focused here, in respect of all things here, as who and what i am in totality, that is what allows me to exist in expression as life, here, as life is physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when I have a pain, in my physical body, it is a constriction, a suppression, a lack of real processing,  of and as focusing here, airing out, as opening up,  beliefs, opinions and ideas, polarized and colored with value judgements, as what i accept as a list---ening of myself as order, as form, as energy, and not myself paling myself here in this living reality, to respect all things, and reciprocate reality, the living reality, as this physical existence, where if I look around, all things are a composition of and as what is here, and all things are the consequence of the hands of many, as the haptic actions, where we are happy when we are focused and unhappy when we are not.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I become anxious, I am not processing reality, as respecting all things, taking that which is good and does no harm, I am not being present, presenting what is here, grounding in what I am as a physical manifestation, realizing where i am projecting value judgements, which is myself allowing inferiority, as I am in fear and as a distraction, not in a consideration of all things, opening up to life, to what is real, airing out the space of my own dis-empowerment, as self interest, to see , realize and understand all of me, to embrace all things, and make the choice that is the only choice, as to respect all that is me, that is all around me here. 

I forgive myself for projecting a lack, onto objects around me, imagining worse case scenarios, as threats, that are a metaphysical self interested math/action/projection composed of energy, which s a red flag for my own acceptance of fear, a busyness, that is limiting, and not being a directive principle of and as showing a sharing as airing out limited beliefs, to open up and enable myself to embrace all of me, as the life that tis me, that is all around me, as having enough information, to self realize self as life here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that unbalanced limited dimensions of an accepted focus, composed of making polarized value judgements that have a quality of and as my actions as projecting onto objects that which I have rejected of and as my self as life, as my capacity to problem solve, to realize limitations, and to embrace myself as life, holding what is a directive principle in and as forgiving myself as life, as that realization that there are no problems and only solutions, here, as it is here, that the practical application is the means to the end. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare, to move into a comparison, that is a resonant emotional projected body, of and as a fear, where within the  storied enflamed value judgements, are the expression of fear, as a fear of loss, and not myself embracing life, as me, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize the shadow world, composed of storied memories of and as ideas, of loss, ideas of failure, as the only thing upon which I focus, to realize this, forgive, and to redirect, within a directive principle, to realize applications that take that which is good and respects all things, which is to hold what can withstand the test of time, as to move as a process of elimination, as to realize side effects, where  the airing of reality does not move forward, as the unfolding of and as real presence, that is a process of dis-covering self as life that has always been right here, to realize in thought word and deed that which is best for all and as such,  aires out and grounds real presence and respect of life, here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to mis-use compassion, in self interest.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have back chat, that when and as i share, and revelations are realized, even in lending practical and simple actions, that self empower , there is back chat that i am not enough, from my past, where I focus on lack, instead of directive actions in moments, realizing self discovery,   enjoying this,  no longer fearing to move into the unknown as the known, is always here, as everything is known. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the simple, as it is within the simple that the ordinary is lived that moves into greater awareness, as even within playing the violin, the simple was cross referenced, as allowing the simple to automate, was allowing a state of forgetfulness, as realizing the smallest of actions, were the means to the end, and that the small could be so well mastered that one could cross reference this in a split second, as that very state of understanding as awareness can be a construct of mis-information that becomes hyperbolized as protected because it is of self interest and thus inequality to this living physical reality, that ends up, as a construct of separation, running away with the self into separation and a loss of self mastery, thus the simple must be mastered, with clarity, and always cross referenced, which is supportive and feels good, as the simple is the means to the end, here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush to believe there is a place to rush to, when life is here, and to realize within this that a sense of rushing manifests as slower processing,  as it is self emotionally charged and not grounded here, where one lives the practical and the simple, in the moment,  to be in respect of all things, as the practical that builds the life that is me here as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as i move into a sense of inferiority, there must be the opposite of a desire for superiority, which is myself moving into comparison, into competition, and not myself being present in common sense, as practical application within the principle of equality and oneness, which is being a living respect of all things, as all things are the same as me, as life in expression in another life here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become angry, as nothing, even if I am ‘ right’ was ever resolved with anger, as anger is a state of blame, which is a  state of fear, which is a state of fearing to take self responsibility, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want short cuts, to have an idea the something should be easy, which is following an idea, instead of walking the practical applications with in a directive principle of and as realizing that the value is life, here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that things are impossible, when creation is here, as me, all around me, here, living practical applications that in essence are a directive principle of and as taking that which is good and does no harm here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to protect myself,  within an idea, that there are threats around me,  which is to, again, project an idea of loss, as though something can be lost, which then creates as the opposite an idea of gain, when in practical reality there is nothing to lose, and nothing to gain, as I am life here, a life that is physical and practical, as common sense is and does, which is living in thought word and deed, as allowing life here, airing life here, as bringing life forward, as simply allowing life, as a focus on as respect of, the physical reality, in plain sight here. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting this physical manifestation of and as energy that is like a dagger, or an arrow, of energy, from a vertebrae in my upper back, that is like this grasping form, like it has claws that appear to be unreleasable, that is my past, where I am also feeling like a child, caught in a coffin, or a web, where I cannot process the information, and have already lost myself in a construct that I can no longer see the boundaries of and as, and within this storm, I am clawing and scratching, looking for a way out, not being able to process the movements, wanting to attack, and not wanting to attack as though on some level, I understand this is not solution and yet, this is the information that is me that I have to work with, that I have accepted ,  where I am in a fury of not wanting to accept the unacceptable and yet, cannot see the resolutions around me as I am lost in a storm of value judgements, this manifesting as this point in my upper back, just above the heart, as though this is a new point opening up, where the pain is most intense, a cycle, or sequence I have lived within this process of birthing life here,  to realize this is like a projecting weapon, as a reaction, of and as anger, as fear, where there are objects of and as to place this fear, which is that past, of an as a construct of and as a belief that there tis no way out, and yet, a part of me, will never give up, as though I existed within limitation, moving as that lack, was unacceptable, and in ways, it is moving in complete frustration,  which is fear, and reaction, where the way out, was greater understanding, as having enough information, as dis-covering a natural ability to understand the practical, here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand a movement into victimhood, as self pity, that is like a mask around my eyes, pulling down presence, as looking directly here, into believing a math of and as self pity, that is that vein of a belief, in the impossible, that then manifests as such as the words “ i tried’ or ‘ I did my best’ or,  a sense that this storm is ‘ too muchness’ when all of this is an illusion and myself caught in a belief system that is a distraction form what is natural, as being present equal and one to all life that is here all around me as the physical reality, here, where all things are myself in another life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe this sense of what could be called righteousness, as a sense of this is so real, so true, so needing of revenge, when I have walked this path and realize that this is not being solution, and to realize that because of accepted and allowed beliefs, this state of separation, that has a quality of protection and defense, as blame and spite, is habituated, and as a set body of resonant  limited information, that need not define who and what I am here, as I can breath, slow down, and ground myself here. 

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand tat this inherent conflict is also a form of self hate,  as myself hating myself to not seeing realizing and understanding the accepted web of limitation, chosen in a desire to survive, this in itself a mis-take on reality, which means the only choice os to forgive this consequential anger/anchor into a limited belief system, of polarized value judgements of and as the end game of good and evil, that is a separation from commons sense as respect of all things as the physical reality that is creation manifest, as the substance of and as taking that which is good and does no harm, to move with and as the natural law, of respect for all things, realizing a balance that lends expansion here. 

Coupled with this word “ sharing’ is the word ‘ meaning.’  Thus, I will continue with the word ‘ meaning ‘ Thank you for reading here. 

When and as I find myself moving into protection and defense, I stop and i breath, and I assess my own reactions , I slow down and realize the means of this separation , as thoughts , words and imaginations, of and as what composes separation, as ideas, beliefs and opinions, of and as blame and spite, resistance and rejection, thus, I forgive, I stop, I use words I have defined, such as calm, as presence, as steadiness, and I move , as transform my self definition, and realize, that just as in slang a large boat, or in skiing down a hill, or in taking a life saving skills swimming test, or in performing, like a horse running across a field with purpose, directed, able to hold a steady rhythm, remain balanced, and moving in respect of all things, with ease, there is a great power within this, and this fine line is always here, and that i have experienced this, in performing, being equal to the sounds around me, balancing out, pulling on strings, remaining steady, within a form, where that focus, the presence, in respect of all things around me, within that framework, that state of steadiness can be actualized, with ease, with joy, with flow of movement, as that horse can be and do, which i have experienced in riding horses, cantering them on a beach, swimming with them in ponds, walk with them with and as state of ease, thus, is there power within that, just as I realize the sword of wanting revenge, as a storied resonant seed of mis-information, of and as energy, this need not define who and what I am, as I can breath, slow down, and uncover, being myself as life, as that power to hold not accepting the unacceptable and transform that into remaining steady here, in balance, considering all things, to become the living word, of and as being as dis-covering the life that is me here. 

In some respects, I can see where it is a fine line between becoming de-manned within righteousness, and or, slowing down and realizing a respect for creation, here. 

The solution is sharing, as showing the airing out of limitations, as accepted and allowed beliefs, opinions and ideas, to open this up, call things out by name, to disempower accepted and allowed limitations, and to ground one's self, here, to be able to run with the wind, as the life that is physical, and that nature of creation here. 

Day 669the presence of a wall of memories; the effort to speak as a child.

What is a wall?

I woke up this morning with this word in  my head. I realize the sense of a ‘ wall’ around me is my own making. It only defines me if I accept and allow it.

I also heard a statement about the nature of Astrological signs this week. The woman said that water signs tend to be boundless. Funnily enough, in the group, the water signs were all on the edges of the group, where they could escape, remaining on the borders. 

Being of such a nature means that one can absorb everything and yet not be bound by it unless accepted and allowed, since one can change beliefs, opinions and ideas held within one, meaning one is not bound by such. And yet, this is a means to an end, meaning that one can understand something and let it go and change. One can expand perspective, learn and become more aware. Yet if the starting point is one of believing that one can be bound, and has a character of being boundless, then one is reacting to form, as belief, opinion and idea.

So the statement that one is boundless means that that quality of making the choice to be boundless is the same quality that can understand something for a moment and transform. Because the idea of being boundless means one is constantly transforming, as in rejecting and accepting what one chooses to believe, especially on a physical planet where it takes practical. measurable steps to get things done. If things are done in practical ways then what is real is right in front of us. When I am acting boundless, I am rejecting what is here, fearing to address it, fearing to call it by name and accepting the quality of it, and interacting with it in practical common sense ways.

Hence resistances are my own wall. My physical body tenses to resist what I believe will cause me harm. Because this belief is a measure within me, as an idea, it is myself in separation from being present in what enables me to live , and that is the physical world around me.

I have accepted a wall of belief, and that wall of belief becomes what binds me in limited ways. 

I recently had a memory come up of myself pushing myself to talk as a child. The memory is like an emotional veil. 

It was such an effort to do this, as though I was clenching myself within myself to ex-press the words I was playing with as sound. The anxiety behind this was great. Such a huge effort it seemed. 

Within the memory,  is the perspective of this, meaning the whole focus of myself was on moving myself within myself. My presence, like my eyes, were focused on this movement within me.

A memory can therefor me, a measure, a movement, a tiny slice of time and space. And each memory is like a different measure of movement, like currents in an ocean; some move slow because they are of such a simple movement within me, and others are fast moving, cluttered with debris as zip filed thoughts that are of belief, opinion and idea creating a story of justification for what has been created within that moves one, defines one, and ultimately separates one from being focused and present. In a way, it is a tying of all of this together, where one walks backwards, so to speak, through all of this and begins to see what was constructed with what builds memories within and a perspective of seeing not only this memorized within, and also, in tandem with, what is without as what is the real physical world that was there, that we each were within, become culture and language built personalities that became larger than life.

Who am I within what I accept and allow as beliefs, opinions and ideas? Since what is within is constructed, because it was not there when I was born, or until what seeds were planted as such states of being as the adults around me imbedded as measures of perspective within my DNA,  resonant because they are a form, a memory that can zip file information, what was I before all of this, even as the adults of my exposure and imitation,  around me walking in bubbles of a within made larger than life?

Measurable and math mathematically, this means I am built of what I am exposed to. This means that what is within me, must be equal in measure to seeing directly what is without that is me. This means that in the order of real living, my within must be cross referenced to what is without. This means that real trust, the trust of life, the acceptance of life, must be to realize equality and oneness to the physical. This is accepting everything as life, as creation.

This means that there is only here. 

I ask myself why there was so much anxiety attached in this memory to moving my body in such a way to be able to start speaking words? Was it that I only had words within a context of the beliefs, opinions and ideas of the humans standing within my environment? Was it that what I imitated was a different world than the world around me? Was it that I feared becoming this paranormal activity? Probably.

I notice in my chest, a movement that is not whole, and instead it is more like a hole, where what moves within this, is not sound, instead it feels like it pours out a racing thing, a film thing. I can answer it more, perhaps if I look at this from another angle. It is like it fears taking in other forms. and the consequence is that it is ‘ of an effort’ to change outside of pictures and ideas within and as me. I notice that in some instances taking in information about ‘ finances on the world stage’ is a genre/formation/structure that I have great difficulty with. I have to in these instances really slow down and assess the information as though it is so foreign to me. I tell myself that it is  a measure, a form that can be understood with continued assessment. The contrast of this change to assess this form, as the financial part of the present system,  exists in contrast to what races within my heart/chest that is like a thing as a measure as a form, that resists changing itself.  And yet, this is where I notice at times I can reform myself within understanding others areas of living, as in assessing how to organize some spatial thing in my direct world, my home- for example.

The anxiety comes up in some things my mind projects as words, as statements, such as; I can’t see that,” or “ I can’t grasp that,’ “ must get this”.

There is a sense that I really do not see the consequences of what I am doing. I am only imitating the world around me as trying to fit into what exists be it good or bad, right or wrong, and yet there is a thread of dread in some respects as though this short circuits the physical as me.

I can feel the anxiety of speaking within this, accumulating in my solar plexus, and then moving into my chest to flow out in a way that is of information that does not tell the whole story. It skims the surface.  When I become more ‘ boundless’ I notice that I am being change, and within this, the absence of anxiety happens, as less accumulates within my solar plexus, as I am busy assessing more than what is within me, I am slowing down and also sensing form and function of what is here. The red flag being when the information that is me, has to change and there is resistance because that information is not congruent with being present and here.

As a musician, I always has this sense that words were do limited, so one-dimensional. They moved too slowly to really have a presence in wholeness. Music seemed so much more a means of expressing a greater measure in a moment. And yet, words were sound too. Seeming contradiction.   One of the designs of our present system is that it does not allow for the time it takes to investigate. Yet is we are racing as a within that is not equal to what is without, we lose an innate ability to assess and understand form and structure around us, and hence we build a structure within that is in a relationship with limitation instead of complete understanding. This becomes what so many have accepted and allowed, which is a personality that has no real responsibility. And that is a crime against one’s self, a crime against life. No wonder so many are standing up and speaking about what is unacceptable in this world, and which is not placed on the mainstream media, because what is being expressed that is unacceptable, does not fit into the limitation that supports the limitation as one’s acceptance and allowances within one’s personification that is a metaphysical inner construct as one’s memory. 

I will do some self forgiveness in relation to the anxiety I felt as this memory, about speaking words, using this physical body to speak words using what I imitated around me, that caused a suppression that manifested as emotions accumulating in my solar plexus, and being formed into words that did not tell the whole story and therefor lacked a wholeness within my chest area.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that speaking words was an extra-ordinary effort.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that speaking words was a huge effort

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to get so caught in speaking words that I did not notice the effects of this on my physical body.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I was a child, attempting to behave as the adults in my world around me, and that to do this, I had to speak words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel very exhausted within summoning all of myself to move my physical body into speaking words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that within and as speaking words, and becoming at the same time exhausted within and as doing this, that I did not assess what I had done, as I simply accepted this without investigating what the consequence of this was within and as me.

Within this, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I became so focused on the words and the effort to speak words that being aware of anything outside of that was ignored.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what my physical body as myself was doing was learning something new, placing into practice as me, some new formation of what I as a physical form could be and do,  that my focus on that and the praise I received for this,  distracted me from what I existed as before, that was what reformed to speak words.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that in being able to speak words I was somehow more that what I was in contrast to before being able to speak words as the only value I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that it is okay to enjoy speaking as in participating in some means of expression as speaking words, yet not to make this a more than, a greater value, something to be proud of as in an end game value  to define who and what I am, where realizing that this change and self expression with the physical is movement and living, and that this is ongoing, meaning it is being present, participating in creation in expression, as this is eternal and cannot be lost.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when and as I find myself accumulating emotional bodies within and as my solar plexus, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand where I am resisting investigating measure and form around me, as this is information that is not what I have accepted and allowed as a belief, as a measure within and as me. hence I slow down and I change within and as me, what I have accepted and allowed and the means of this, to reform through assessment and evaluation and realize that I can express this movement into considering all things, my own acceptances and allowances and what is without structurally, until I realize a form that is whole, as in directive into expanding awareness so my within can be equal and focused without, stable, grounded and at ease, as this is the absence of emotions and feelings of lack, comparison, resistance in competition of aggrandizing my within as ideas, beliefs and opinions.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts such as “ this is too hard’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts such as “ I can’t do this,’ or “ I can’t grasp this,” or “ must get this.’

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not matching the words of another.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding the fun of this, over all, as speaking words and moving my physical body  as the means of expression which is fun and means that I am the director of what I accept and allow.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge the sounds that I emit, to fear making sounds, in fear of making a mistake, when learning means that one must attempt formation, and that means becoming equal in measure to something, which takes time and involves making mistakes, as this is the way and the means of realizing where I am not in total understanding of something, as this is by nature a process.

When and as I find myself tensing up, within and as my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I assess the thoughts and the emotional veils of memory from my past and the reactions I had within that memory, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that I am here, that that which builds is that which can reform and move into transforming who and what I am here, surrounded by creation as the physical, and within the construct of separation as the present system, and myself as a personality composed of limited measures in separation from being grounded and whole, equal and one to all life, which includes that physical as this is what is here before a mind consciousness was accepted and allowed to be bigger than life itself.

When and as I find myself moving into anxiety, I stop and I breath, and I see realize and understand that the past as memory is no longer what I am here, and that the means to building my memory, as my experience, within the present system is the means of change, the means of slowing down, assessing and investigating what is here, to see, realize and understand what is best for all, as this is best for myself.

When and as I find myself tensing up and/or feeling anxious,  I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess, investigate, evaluate, my within mind consciousness and the without as the physical world that is at the moment influenced by the limited measure accepted and allowed my myself,  and I follow through in practical application what accepted and allowed judgements as lacks within and as me that I believed protected and defended my accepted separation from respecting all life as me, here, and I ground myself through forgiving my own beliefs, opinions and ideas, based on a past where I followed and imitated my without, absent consideration of all things, as I accepted and allowed self interest before respect for all things.

When and as I find myself tensing up within and as me, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I become equal and one as the living word here, to ground my within, in and as my chest area to speaking in wholeness in what is in consideration of all things, as the physical as this is life information, here.

When and as I find myself skimming the surface of reality and the measure of accepted and allowed limited beliefs, opinions and ideas to define me as my within, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that I am possible as who and what I am, life, here.

When and as I sense  a wall around and as me, as a sense of resistance to what is here around me, I stop and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that the real “ wall’ is the all, of and as me as us, as we, here, as the physical, and I assess and investigate my within and the without, until my personified wall of beliefs, opinions and ideas, as memories, as experiences, as data, as measure, are self forgiven in equality and oneness with and as the physical here, becoming a living word that is in tandem with life, as being the consideration of all things, taking that which is good and does no harm, to plant a seed of information equal and one to and as life, here.

Day 286 The Buried King Philip's War

As I look at what Capitalism is as it exist in form and focus and function, it follows NOT all the principles laid out for it’s purpose. It is a structure to support life, to allow humanity to thrive, to become self supportive, to be able to take care of oneself in a state of ease, as this would be happiness, a state of ease.

I think of the King Phillips’s war in America at the end of the 1600’s.

The stage was set at this time, with the colonists having developed much of the land along the eastern seaboard of the present United States. They had productive farms and had organized themselves enough to begin to enjoy more things of leisure. They also started to attend church less and less. No longer did they find a need to hope and pray, they had physically organized themselves and were prosperous.

What happened at this time, was that suddenly there was a move from thinking the new land was endless , to the land becoming finite.

Also, the church was not receiving as many funds from the people, as they had stopped attending church, as they no longer needed “god” or realized that it was not god who had developed the land, but themselves, in all common sense.

The American Indians, who had become somewhat a part of the community - there was even a university ( well schools where really seminaries ) set up to educate them. In other words they were not treated as heathens, they were viewed as becoming a part of the society.

What happened, is that the America indians realized, started to realize, that the Europeans believed, really believed, that they could own the land, and they were slowly taking over the land. The American indians did not conceptually believe this, and they were right in that this earth cannot be owned, as it is a gift that gives and supports life. Yet the Europeans thought they could own this, and even abuse what they, the Europeans thought of as “right” in the face of common sense - that this earth cannot be owned except through an idea, or belief imposed - lacking all common sense , yet, here the American Indians whose culture did not include what was in all common sense given as a gift for life, did not realize the sickness of the European until it was too late. So they went in and destroyed all that was of value to the European settlers in their delusion that something can be owned in self interest. There were more deaths in relation to the population from this war than in any other war America has ever had since. This is how powerful the American Indian was and how much they fought to wipe out the disease of ownership without regard for the life that existed, where this ownership was stamped out, this self interest and ignorance of life.

So, the Europeans began to blame the American indian for taking that which they had taken, blaming the American Indian and labeling them as evil, removing all that had been supposedly “given” to them, placing them in camps where they basically starved and suffered. The takers were punishing those who they had taken from, ignored and devalued in the name of profit and greed in self interest. And this, even when it was noted how healthy the American Indians were compared to the Europeans. Obviously, the American Indians, if they were noted to have been so healthy, were doing something that was beneficial, more so than what the Europeans were doing, yet again this was ignored in the face of reason, as self interest was the choice, in greed, lacking consideration and placing one’s limited view despite the existence of something that had created men who were healthier and organized.

The only place that was not completely destroyed was Boston. The colonies had been laid to waste, as the Indians had destroyed what was of value, they had gone in and destroyed all the crops, and all the live stock. They basically set the colonies back one hundred years.

What did the Europeans do with this situation once the Indians were dealt with? Did they learn their lesson? NO. They continued with the same self interest. And this began to play out with the Salem witch trials.

There were no men, they had all been killed in the King Phillips war. So the women of Salem, were man-less and this was proving to be a dangerous situation; too many women and not enough men.

Yet the lesson that the land was finite was remembered, so how could this situation be used to get the land from the widows?

And how could the church get the people back into the pews to give funds and support that pastor and maintain control through an illusionary separate reality?

And with the emerging study of as a scientific method, how could this be imposed and used as a new ways of looking at the world. A perfect platform to apply a more scientific approach to an existent more “superstitious” society?

Low and behold, women were labeled as witches, their lands could be taken by those who wanted more, who used this excuse to grab an earth that is freely given. The scientists could prove that satan could be measured scientifically, and the church could re-enslave men to beg for forgiveness from a supposed god, even in the face of god having nothing to do with the work they had done in developing their lives.

Yet in our history books in the schools this war is never talked about, just foot noted.

The Salem witch trials are related to the “red commi scare” of the thirties, which makes no sense, and I had to watch this being taught to my children in the schools. This Mcarthy Era, as it is called. Like we are allowed to criticize actions the American system took in the past and then believe we have learned to criticize when we in fact have not learned any critical skills at all, because not enough of this story is told. What lead up to the existence of the Salem witch trials, and why were there so many women? None is this is explained within this unit. 

It was years later that more of the story was told. I thought, why was this not clear then? Children are very capable of understanding this real scenario, and perhaps so many children are bored in school and see no point of the history presented because they don’t see a real story, what is presented is vague and illogical, lacking in detail, and having no common sense. What one does is memorize a story full of gaps and non-explanations. Perhaps our children, in not being taught the whole story, see no story of any common sense, and thus really have nothing to hold onto? And then we are actually scared, the adults to have the real story told, because this would mean we have to actually look at what we are accepting and allowing, and would end up losing what we believe we have, which is just more of the same story full of holes , a story lacking wholes, a continuation of the same that came, a people of lesser health maintaining that lesser health in the name of believing that this land can be owned. And the same upsets and manipulations in the name of a few wanting to grab more and more and more. As this is a game of mono=polies, ignorant of life, this earth, this form and function of the natural world as earth, believing that the science of man has all the answers, when the quest sought is a desire for more, instead of working with what is here in common sense telling the whole story, all the details, even the emotions and feelings and thoughts and how they are created and what they are the product of as indicators of fear/survival behaviors, that are in separation from what is best for all, even when this “best” or indication that something is stronger, than what the cultural facing a visible noted difference lacks by comparison, is potentially doing, where an example of a stronger human is standing right there in front of their faces.

Non of what I say here is to criticize one group  above another, but this is an example of where what was good within what existed was ignored in favor of traditions that lacked in comparison to other traditions. What was good, was not considered.  In the end the whole movement here is within limited beliefs, opinions and ideas that lack actually looking at what is here in common sense of what is best for all. Thus, the whole story must be told, the whole scenario in detail must be looked at, hiding details just means there is an agenda. Hiding creates a hierarchy, a morality in separation from what is best for all, as what is best for all is that all absolutely realize how here functions as this earth, in totality, as this is the only way to get this organism in order, in working thriving, at ease order.

Our children are being fed half truths and these limited stories are then coupled with a loose logic of no real substance, to feed a program of self interest in the name of profit for a few only and this is causing disease, as the nature of that child is forced into limitations and not allowed expression -as life and the consequence of this is disease. In common sense we all know this, and thus we must give up everything to enable us to have everything, and that is our children, knowing the whole story, understanding this earth, and working with this earth as life, as their nature, as ease. The outcome will be the existence of life on this earth, at ease, in expression of life.