Day 661 Moving into reaction instead of solution.

Moving into reaction instead of solution.

Yesterday I met someone while out in my world and had a conversation where  I talked about some behaviors with a certain person in relation to dealing with someone we both knew.

After the conversation, as I walked in the market, I suddenly had a movement within me that was heavy. It moved down from the top of me head, into my solar plexus. There in the supermarket, I had to slow way down and breath, as in that moment it became difficult to walk. Meanwhile, within remaining in breath, I realized that I had become a measure within as a belief, or played out a habit that I did not catch, I did not align into what is best for all.

Looking back, I realize I had allowed myself to move into fear. I had allowed myself to see doom and gloom within a situation instead of moving into solution that brought the reward of moving within the relationships around me with ease.

The situation was one where I had spoken with a person many times, agreed upon an arrangement, and that person would come back some time later and change her mind. I would then build an acceptable agreement, only to have the same thing happen again. I could feel myself starting to react. I felt like I was in a game that went nowhere.

When I met this other friend in the market, I started to question her about this other person, and she agreed with my assessment. She even asked the same question. Thus, there I stood as a reaction, becoming a blame, and moving from being directive to becoming someone who labeled something as being limiting. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this, as assessing behaviors is not a bad, and cross referencing is not bad. It was the fear I had there in the back of my mind, of a potential for a loss of opportunity, and the movement into feeling unworthy as being the cause of the ‘ wall’ in front of me. 

My assessment of this person may be correct, and may also need, at the same time, additional respect as to what is the starting point of their responses.  Yet this does not define who and what I am in terms of my worth as this is an idea within myself, and has nothing to do with directing myself here.  I can only be here, unless I believe that what is in my temple as that which is formed within me as idea, belief or opinion, which is a form of usury.  If I believe what I am formed as within, as my imagination only,  I am usurious of life around me as the physical world, because instead of remaining here in common sense, as respect of the physical, valuing all life, I am believing a measure within me and imposing this onto reality- I am selling my soul- my inner creation, instead of respecting the means of that soul, the physical. Hence my inner measure which is composing a picture show, is in total separation from reality and the consequence of this will all ways be a limitation, and that limitation because it has no real grounding, will cause insecurity, anxiety and fear. I will not see clearly here. I will cause friction with reality, I will not fit into living, I will not fit into creation. I will become stagnant. I will lose opportunity. I will separation from life. I will it. I allow it. I accept it. What is of the temple within, must be equal to the temple without as the physical. All things must be respected, everything. 

Thus, within this situation, I had to slow way down. I had to see, realize and understand where I was taking things personally, as potentially defining me as having no worth. This is myself believing that how I defined myself was more than reality, and that this was potentially going to be lost, ignored, or discredited. Non of this has anything to do with reality, with being here as a physical beingness.

Perhaps there is reason within this woman’s choices. That is okay. Perhaps there is overprotection going on within this person. That is okay, caution is necessary. Yet, within myself this behavior is just this, a measure of belief, and not one that determines who and what I am here. I either meet with the person I wanted to see, or I do not. Either way, I am here, living.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction and then to move into managing my own reaction, instead of remaining here, assessing and doing that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become frustrated when I believe I have resolved an issue only to have that issue come up again and again, despite working through ideas and believing, and even at times, moving into superiority, in relation to a disagreement between two parties.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have wanted agreement, without slowing down to realize the perspective of others, in more detail around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow a measure, as a perspective that had nothing to do with me, define who and what I am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist within and as my own self interest, without slowing down and assessing a situation and the reactions as the behaviors of others, to a greater degree, to find solutions that moved with more equity than reaction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is something wrong with me,  which was myself being what I was projecting onto the person and their behaviors around me, thus was I being what I criticized and not moving into understanding and solutions that created the reward of living with ease, here, on this physical planet.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that self interest, I accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to rush in my own self interest, despite having taken time to assess, as the behaviors around me revealed that more assessment was needed, or to consider the interest of another, within their comfort zones, and to ease this, within and as a understanding of how a mind consciousness moves, as this is what I would have wanted for self, and within this, the way and the means to remove resistances, as in building trust, which takes time.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost, as within this, when and as I react within an idea that something is lost, I am not moving in consideration of all things, and building an understanding that lends self direction.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to blame instead of continuing to understand until all things are clear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become annoyed, when and as I find myself having to reassess something and remain within and as what is trustworthy, as in never needing to lie, as myself as a directive principle in and as life, takes that which is good, in measure and builds what imparts a sense of ease, which is sharing a presence that solves instead of resists.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become lost within a limited measure of belief, opinion and idea within and as what I have accepted and allowed as a version of reality in the temple of my mind, a mind consciousness in separation from the means of life, of respecting all things, including the physical as the physical is life information, as the physical is the potential of life information.

When and as I find myself reacting, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess what I speak, to ensure that my words move from problem to solution to reward.

When and as I find myself polarizing a value, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess if I am within reaction to a problem, or moving instead into solution of a problem.

When and as I find myself moving into fear, as in imagining a doom and gloom scenario of loss, or lack of communication, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down until I am here, grounded, and can direct in ways that are not myself manipulating in self interest in protection and self defense based on an idea within and as the temple of a mind consciousness of limited values that I have accepted and allowed to define me instead of remaining grounded in life, the physical.

When and as I find myself becoming ashamed of what I have accepted and allowed, as a mind consciousness of belief, opinion and idea in limitation, ignoring what is real as the physical life information around me, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that remaining in shame is not grounding myself here, in a practice of respecting all things as the physical.

When and as I find myself calling something by name, which may happen, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that I can only ground myself into speaking what moves from problem into solution in stable ways that lead to rewards for all concerned as much as I am able, here, in this moment here.

When and as I find myself allowing a situation to define who and what I am, I see, realize and understand that this is information I accepted and allowed based on a past, where I acted in the self interest as a mind consciousness in separation from respect for all things.

When and as I find myself seeking validation from another, I stop and I breath, and I realize my starting point as being one of self interest or assessment into perspective as a cross reference and within this I allow no blame and spite , I slow down and move within and as what is solution in terms of what is best for all, here.

When and as I find myself moving into guilt for not having slowed down and investigated further, beyond reaction, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I, instead of resisting in self interest, I place myself in the other’s shoes for a moment, and accept the perspective to realize solutions that lead to what is best for all here.

Day 358 " Only corporations " is the warship of a false god.

“as one USAID representative says “There are things that only companies can do, like building silos for storage and developing seeds and fertilizers.””

https://willyloman.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/president-obama-pitches-cfr-plan-looks-to-bring-the-india-model-of-gm-genocide-to-africa/

This statement “ only companies” is an idol made into a god. This is a separation from physical reality, from the detail and specifics of physical reality. A corporation is a collection of men, and organization of men. But this collection of men have been formed into a corporation and given a label and then made the means to an end both revealing how here works and how this is turned into a singular group acting in self interest.

Thus there are truths and lies by omission within this.

Yes, it is the hands of many men that develop what is here.

Since what is here is what supports, it is to form a system that supports and respects all life, as this is the value.

A corporation as it now exists is a structure where it is believed that one level of organization and transformation and development is more than another, when it is all needed to develop and organize here, thus one level of organizing and transforming what is here as the resources of this earth is not more than another unless we accept and allow it as we are not looking at physical reality.

If the ones organizing a few at the top have become so separate from physical reality and believe themselves to be more than another, and continue a system that gives them more than another, they not only take more than they need to exist, they also have no connection to the actual physical world. They are separate from the effects their “ organizing ideas” create, and they believe that what is there on the ground is less than them because they see themselves as more-than when they are the same. This is a dis-ease of separation from life, and this lack in ease with the physical is lead by judgement absent of common sense of physical reality. The outcome is pollution, genocide, war, abuse, destruction. And we are all to blame and will suffer the consequences unless we realize our equality as life, and that this is the value. Also, that no one group or man created what was here, it was all that has been here and is here that created what is here.

We have been told that making false idols into gods was a crime against life, we have been told that usury leads to enslavement. We have been told to love our neighbors as ourselves, as we are one and equal to all that is here as we are the substance of what is here, equal and one.

The only way to stop this false worship, that is now a military industrial war-ship is to stand together and move ourselves as what we are in common sense of the physical gift of life to guide us, living what is best for all of this physical reality as being what is best for all, the animals, the plants , the soils, the water, the children, the human. We must put an end to the existent divisions placed by limited beliefs, opinions and ideas that are not all “ bad” but simply not aligned within and as what manifests an earth that is cared for and functioning without abuse, pollution, war, poverty, sexual exploitation, drugging. All things of lack as division and diversion from physical reality.

The solution is to realize our value as being life, and to place into practical living a system that supports all life. This is Equal Money. To take a tool that represents the resources of this earth and to distribute this to allow the human to have what supports them as the physical form of a human being that they are because it is the many hands of men that have and do what is needed to develop, work with, what is freely given as the gift of life as the physical, here.

Day 303 Advertising uses the learning capacity of man and abuses it in self interest

Advertising uses the learning capacity of man and abuses it in self interest

We go to school and we learn to see structures of things and then we are tested on these things learned.
Advertising is placing images, as structures all over this world. How many of us can drive down a road and not miss that ad, that symbol running along the side of the road? And even in our homes, there are images flashing by, on products and clothes, on the tv, and the computer. It is incessant, always there, ubiquitous. And we accept it and allow it.
Some have said we are now living in a porn culture. Is this the influence of the pictures we have allowed within our world? How else could this have come to be what we follow?
So, we send our children to school to learn forms and structures to interact within this world. We send our children to use forms. On the one hand we teach this way, and on the other we indoctrinate this way. And, we have become so ignorant of ourselves that we do not even put this together, and realize how much this really influences us, and it is very obvious given how many products are sold in reference to fitting the images advertised. We have come to fit an image and not the very form of ourselves as life in a human physical body. How many men pay attention to a woman who comes for a job interview who does not wear make-up and heels and skirt, in comparison to a woman who looks more like the ads placed all over this world. This is the extent of a lack of really looking at that person in totality and only seeing an idea of what is “more than and/or less than,” a state of judgement based on limited values.
What is lacking is the awareness of the consequence of the building blocks of that image, thus there is no real ability to read that image for what it is, the consequence of form reading of a one dimensional image as picture. And this same thing happens with children in the schools, some are more agile with the material presented and others falter,missing an awareness of the con-sequential building blocks.
Thus they cannot participate and this lack accumulates as they move through school, until this lack overwhelms and they give up.
As, well, there are many very capable people, who do not have those straight perfect white teeth, and the type of figure touted within the advertising media, and even though they are educated, they are somehow not seen, because the employer is transfixed by an idea, an image that could potentially satisfy an addiction, as a energetic reaction, that he really has no understanding of, he/she has no awareness of how this was created, because they cannot “read” themselves as the consequences that lead them to be what they are in totality, as the mind, physical, spirit relationship, this which is used by advertising to corner the desire of the consumer in self interest without any consideration of both the consequences leading to the image/form and/or the consequences of the effects of chasing such an image to both participants involved within the roles adhering to this business of attention grabbing denying the physical and spirit, addressing only the mind with the bling and promise in a picture of limited value.
So, if the ads are influencing our behaviors, consuming us, to the point where we no longer see reality, and cannot even see the ability of a person, as their living expression and ability to conceptually see what is here, because the one fitting an image is all that we see, as we follow the very forms embedded within and as our minds, could this have something to do with the children that have a hard time learning the building blocks as what is presented in schools? Are these children somehow possessed with images and past events that block seeing reality, seeing what is presented?
Is that which is used that which stagnates?
It really is that what we are is simple, and yet so absorbed are we with any number of commerce-cially monopolized metaphysical imagined ideas, beliefs, opinions, past events influenced by this system/form, the words and emotions and feelings and thoughts expressed within these events, creating inner dialogues that come to be what directs each of us, that naturally some have this imagery of chaos, and since there is no understanding taught about this, and yet this is used to teach, we can see that to get this world in order, the nature of ourselves and how we function as mind, physical, spirit relationship needs to be looked at in detail and cleared up. Which means, as obviously how we learn is right in front of us, that there are some that have difficulty means we are not taking the time to look, as we are all lost within imagery, to the point where we no longer see what we are in fact, and again, even though how we are is because of the images we have in front of us. A starting point of compound images, is hiding a step of ourselves, is hiding the building blocks of what we are. How can we become what we are in totality, if we do not know what we are?
Obviously, a child that cannot read, is a child missing a comfortable stance within the building blocks of words, and what blocks this, is what came before, just as that employer cannot see the ability of the person, and only sees the potential employee that fits their image and likeness sexually. And believe me, I have seen the Harem effect playing out in my local public schools. It exists, and if it is here, it is everywhere, just as these ads are everywhere. There may be some employers not caught up in this trap, but they are very very few, very few.
The problem of what is presented within the advertising world is that it does not tell the whole story, it does not reveal the consequences. It does not create an awareness of ourselves, in fact it does the opposite, is uses what we are and enslaves what we are as life, into limited values. The consequences of a system of inequality, as to maintain inequality, are a distorted reality, because, reality as life, would mean clarity within understanding this world, thus the nature of humans is the product of a vieled reality creating an imposed form on society that binds separation from life, that denies the nature of life, as what the human is in fact, a human capable of understanding the building blocks of life, were this what was in fact presented.
So what would the solution to this problem be, how could this distortion be removed? By removing a system of inequality, by removing indirect voting, by removing secondary ideas, beliefs and opinions as what does not start from the very substance as the building block substance that is one and equal in all existent in/on earth. To realize this as the value, as the starting point, to build awareness of self as life instead of this present system of image without consequential understanding of all the parts composing that image. The solution is to support all life, where life as what we are as humans can learn to self direct within understanding of what we are in totality, as how we learn, as how the mind works in tandem with the physical body and the spirit/self of ourselves as life, in detail, here. When we began to realize this in detail, what is placed as pictures on this world, could bring us closer to an understanding of nature, and then perhaps the rewards would lead to a world where nature, the environment becomes the only picture necessary, no lighted screens, no billboards, just oneness and equality with what is here, that is real, that is the physical, which is the gift of life.

DIP Lite

Become aware of what you are, get to know how you are what you are with a free course, DIPLite at desteni.
Stand up and support a system that gives and keeps on supporting through giving each of us the means to get to know what we are as life, in detail by taking what is of this earth to support life, as what is freely given, and using what structural forms are already in place, as things move one step at a time, to allow all of us to stop and take a breath and look at what we are and why we are what we are.

Documentaries to educate yourself.

Day 293 Disgust Character Memory: Self Resistance

I have this memory coming up of my husband. He is propped up on the bed with his legs expended out straight. He is slowly rubbing his feet against one another. It was something he did when he sat and read or dealt with paper work on the bed in this way. I remember feeling disgusted by this, and even asking myself why I was having this reaction.
So I look at this as a projection, this “wave” as this emotion of disgust and I bring this back to myself. I slow myself down and I breath. And there it was, this was me, this had absolutely nothing to do with him, this is a piece of the “shell” of myself, within judging, that I have imposed on the reality around me, believing this to be “out there” when it is a movement as energy of my own volition. It is a “volume of separation” , distortion of reality, myself not facing myself. I am the one creating this state of being as “disgust” in the face of a reality that is simply being physical. I mean what the hell is wrong with rubbing one’s feet together? Animals rub against things all the time, even each other, they even lick themselves.
I looked at this “feeling” of disgust and it is how I feel about myself. It is myself disgusted with myself for not being in common sense here, with this physical world,it is myselffearing being common sense, as though being this, is something dirty and unwanted.
In another blog I wrote that asking others to look at something in common sense creates a reaction, as leaving the “text book/blueprint “ of the mind appears threatening, as this means letting go of what is actually causing the seeking, a perpetual state of seeking something, and spewing tons of data, as knowledge and information only, as though this is “the way to go”, which is like a “chicken running around with it’s head cut off”, so to speak, meaning, this is what one is actually doing, running around dead when common sense is not used.
I have to remember a scene with my father a couple of years ago, where I tried not to be the reactive behaviors I had been, and tried to talk with him instead, and what happened is that he looked at me and said , “ I don’t know how to stop what I do” and to see him be this was jarring to me, a woman at this point, as his daughter, to watch. I realized how frightened we all really are, how this has come to be so huge, we cannot see around it, or taking this on and walking through this, walking through this valley of the shadows of fear, is so seemingly “looming” there appears to be no way out. But there is a way out, it is to begin to “clean up the soot” of the fear and clear the waters of self of the separation into and as fear, this covered by and readable as moments of emotions and feelings, and thoughts, such as I have described above, this memory, laced with this emotion of disgust and an image from my past, where obviously I am not in common sense of here and am existing within some fantastic domain that is really about what i have acceptedand allowed in self judgement, knowing full well I have suppressed myself as life.
Why would two feet rubbing together cause a disturbance within me?
Was it the simple “sensing” nature of this? ( I wanted to say sensual but thought this would bring in a sexual element and this has nothing to do with this) Were those two feet rubbing together just simply what I was not allowing within myself as being myself as life, here? Like I am disgusted with this because it reminds me of what i am not using as what I am as life, sensing here, and to realize what i have created within my life in not allowing this? not being in touch with myself here? Has the physical touching the physical become something that generates disgust? Which in essence is saying that common sense is something dirty, and I react, as other react when common sense is applied or suggested as this means facing one’s separations, facing one’s “valley of shadows” that are one’s fears? Just as i looked and realized this disgust had nothing to do with my husband as this was ME, this was about ME, I was creating this, I was projecting this, this was me denying what i was allowing, and this event was the presence of what I resisted within and as my self, and so this persistent feeling of “disgust” as what I reject as the gift of life, is the answer to remove this separation, this shadow, what I am resisting persisting in and as mind, causing moments of emotions and feelings and judgmental thoughts that become a movie projection ontop of this reality. It is like a vortex/tunnel of sending a message outward where I am screaming ( silently) a “need/desire” and feeling physically a sinking feeling/movement and then not wanting to look at it and attaching it to the outer thing/image where if I were to actually stop and breath and listen to my chest it is really a longing to be myself as life, in common sense of myself as life, here. That is just one fucked up state of being, and obviously it is not living. And this is also systemic, because it has a series of movements/generations and thus, though not visibly/readily seeable, it can be “felt” if one simply takes the time and slow down and breathe.
So, I am going to look at this “disgust” as this is not walking in common sense, and it is absent of a directive capacity, and it indicates resistance, and what is resisted persists, as the separation into polarities of good and bad, as placing disgust onto the object and wanting to to “go away’ as though it is not me, is myself believing myself to be superior, as in “ not of this” projection that I believe is out there and not here, because I have been taught to follow such images as reality as mind, and really believe that such is not of myself. Such a thing would create so much inability to communicate on this earth, and this is exactly what is happening all over the world, a lack of communion with what is real, this physical substantive existence and how this physical functions. At present it is like mankind is doing the exact opposite of what is supportive of life. Sending flying shooting guns, as drones to depressed countries is NOT supportive of life, and there is absolutely no reasoning to substantiate this. Shooting things does not clean water, it does not grow food, it does not physically practically rebuild homes and take care of soils and animals, in no way shape or form is this an action of support and it is a waste of resource. It is about money and nothing else, it is money in self interest without consideration of life, it is a state of separation and thus, disease and it needs to be voted out and stopped ASAP. And we are all responsible. So, look at your limited reasoning and your projections and get your head out of the clouds. Flying shooting drones is not life, and yet, is clearly indicates that the technology is here to create world where all needs as life can be met. And I am sure there are inventors out there, that are disgusted with what has been developed to support abuse and destruction, when the intent was to create a world that supported life. Here one only need look to water purification systems that would alleviate the effects of dirty water in purposely left/disallowed undeveloped countries on continents that are abundant in resource.
The con-sequence of con-tradictions are to obvious to deny any longer.
So, if you experience a projection of disgust, know it is you, as what you have accepted and allowed, and it will persist the more you resist, the more you project it outward. And what it is, is you longing for yourself as life, longing for a return of your self as life to a common sense, one and equal, to and as life.

To be continued.

Day 233 Reaction Dimension : Despair Character

Reaction Dimension/ Despair Character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become reactions as emotions and feelings to animate/substantiate character/personality as reactions of emotions and feelings, to manipulate myself into and as mind/personality instead of standing here in stability with and as breath. Within this, I’ll use, as personalities, specific emotions and feelings to activate specific behavioral patterns/habits to in/as this process validate why/how it is that I am a personality and so in this attempt try to make a personality more real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become an emotion of lack in common sense, when faced with accepting limitations in and as, for example, believing I am to be seen and not heard.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to to become the habit and behavior of reacting within and as anger, which is an act of protection and defense instead of a movement of prevention in directing myself within common sense to and as what is best for all, as what is best for all would not separate through division, a world of adults and children, as only one being allowed to be seen and heard, where of course, within interactions between adults and children, only one can speak at a time, but a lack of communication, and a border of adult and child distorts one as more than another, and does not take all that is here, as life, into consideration within and as movement as life, which is to say, that one group is more ascended than another, where this is not the case, as it is here, as life, as the physical that life is expressed.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the behavior, in and as a belief that a measure as a division, can remain fixed in place, made a tradition, as “one size fits all” scenario not seeing realizing and understanding that as myself as life, here, I can only move within the moment i exist in and as, and thus to project into the future a tradition, ends up limiting the future to the past, as a belief has become more than what is real, which is life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become emotions of traditions, without question, and to justify these emotions within sentiment made huge and turned into value, to create feelings, which is in essence feeling a past event and using this to validate what i am here, as I am in separation from here and the value being what is actually here, as the physical, because I have allowed myself to exist as some ambiguous idol/image of what i am.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have separated from the story, the stori, the tor, as the door of the physical, where instead I store as mind , myself as values of more than and less than, and thus become a behavior of separation from and as the physical, thereby shutting the door to being here, equal and one with what is real as the substance of life, as the physical, the eye of the needle, the real key to become one and equal to and as life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the behavior of restlessness, in running from the border as the adult and the child division, to return to play, a play of competition and comparison in self interest as I began to model the world around me, not even understanding what i was doing, in and as energy, of which was an accumulation of stories of gain and loss beginning to develop the division of myself into a habit, as a tradition, as what was modeled as the behavior of those who came before me, as energy made bigger as mind than the actual physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the movement of myself, as a behavior of not standing up and speaking no matter what, when faced with an absence of common sense, as a denial of what is here, as life, able to be developed, as is seen with children that learn to play musical instruments at a very early age, which takes direction and practice with how the instrument works and functions, and this is a common sense activity as what the human is capable of doing, where it is only the voices of consciousness in fear and separation that stop the movement of life in a child and create behaviors of separation from what is real, the physical, that are in essence judgements of more than and less than, of comparison and competition, all a point of view in separation from what is real, here, able to be seen and heard, felt and sensed as the commonality of what man and earth is in fact, a form as life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to go into and as my mind as consciousness, to separate myself from what is real the physical world.

I commit myself to no longer allow myself to become a behavior as a reaction to judgement as fear, to stop and to breath and to remain here, within and as my human physical body, and to speak in common sense of what is here as the physical world, and to investigate what is best for all.

I commit myself to, when and as i feel myself constricting within my back, I stop and I breath and I do not allow myself to separate from what is physically here, to see, realize and understand that nothing can be lost, and thus there is nothing to despair about, as the answer is right here, all that need be done is to breath and to realize what actually physically works in ways that are best for all, and that reactions to this, are separations from here, where a reaction such as “ that is impossible” is a statement of ignorance, as physically this world can be organized to support life.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that existing within and as energy is short lived and unfulfilling as it is myself in neglect of being here, equal and one with what is real, this actual physical world, thus the solution is also the prevention, to remain here in and as breath to move within breath in equality and oneness in and as the physical, where there is no apprehension and despair within and as energetic movement within my human physical body, as such movement is myself in despair of life, fearing a loss based on some idea of possible imagined division.

Day 219 Self validations within the presented

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become lost within the consequences presented, abdicating myself as life, into and as accepting what is presented, and feelingoverwhelmed within confusion and frustration, as what is missing is not offered/presented within the context of what is real, this actual physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the self validations as what is presented through all aspects of society and the training of this society, is limited within realizing the existence of expression and how this expression moves and what is here as this actual physical world, where the present system of consciousnessexcludes what is real in totality in favor of selected values fed a morality within the context of the human only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when in confusion, I have a physical feeling that there is no place to go, and thus I go into frustration, as what is here, as what is morally accepted and allowed considers the survival of men only, and ignores the actual physical world, thus, as within so without, a separation becomes what exists, with no direction within equal consideration, as the story is the more all within a singular dimension of men only.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in becoming the moreall as the human, which is consciousness, I separate myself from the truemother and father as the earth and the sky, this being to total substance as the expression of life here, thus in ignorance do I deny myself as life, in favor of the resonance of what the human has projected through media, education, society on the substance of life here, thus I allow myself to give the authority of myself as life, to a limited system that in its limitation and ignorance of life, becomes friction and conflict in not having substance, as this being total movement within self equal and one to what is same as creation, which is the sound substance of life in all that exists, realizing this in equal measure within all existent.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a sense of vertigo within is myself falling in separation from myself as life as sound, where the all is the story that ends in the more as myself being one and equal as life here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the present systemic morality is a more all, as men being the all, where in fact the exact opposite is what is real, where equal and one consideration for the “all” of existence is the more, as this is life as all existent in expression on this earth.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to desire to save, though a mind that is consciousness, lost in thoughts and emotions and feelings, believing this possession to be what is real, having been trained/programmed to be this from day one within a system that generates this - meaning imposes and impulses this through the technologies created by men, even the social structures - what is then programmed into the child born without language and beliefs, and thus forcing the child into service to a moral for the human, where the human is caught as mind within polarities that have no answers because the answers are within a bubble of consideration of men only, of energetic separation as what energy is, as the consequence of separation, which is to look for solution within consequence, where all that manifests is blame, as the starting point was already of separation.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there is not solution to be found within the outflow of consequence without looking through the consequence to the starting point, where what must be realized is the movement as direction within consideration of all that exists, as though this earth is the instrument of life, yes men seem to think they are the instrument, when they are a part of the instrument, and thus life is not being lived on this planet, as the systemic imposition of men as more separates from life, and thus causes consequences of destruction, instead of equal and one being with what is here as equal and one to man.

The Century of Self : Part 1 Happiness Machines

http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

Psywar

http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/

The Trap

http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

The Power Principle

http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

Catastroika - Greek Documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoNjVMhmBfM

The Marketing of Madness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vnuMhlPn9TA#!

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Day 184 Service 'to" as protection/defense

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must ensure the peace is kept around a man.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that “peace” is what will manifest if I keep myself aware of what the man is feeling within my existence.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear what the man will react as if a “peace” is not maintained within my immediate existence, not seeing realizing and understanding that this peace is not peace, and only serves the ideas of peace for the man, as in the not looking at what is actually physically real here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to learn how i should behave in order to ensure that peace is maintained in relation to the man/male within my immediate environment.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the events that created the construct of support for the man/male, society and class that I focus on in order to keep the peace within my immediate world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become anxious and fear a loss of support for myself should I not uphold the present structure of what I have been taught to present myself as to allow myself to survive within a system of inequality.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in actually supporting an idea of peace, using projections/stances of myself in relation to what I sense a man is feeling can never create a state of actual physical “peace” as it is in service to the emotions and feelings of the man, and not the man being self directed within and as himself in common sense of what is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being emotionally attacked by a man.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I end up overwhelming myself and becoming uncertainty as I am allowing myself to follow that very personification that is a separation from what is actually physically here.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I cannot direct anyone but myself as life here, and that when I want to keep the peace, I will not be able to do so, as I cannot do this for another, I can suggest to focus on what is actually here in common sense, even within understanding how the present systems functions, but I cannot ultimately be the focus for another, as the “other” must realize focusing on what is here as themselves.

Within this, I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I cannot make another “un-anxious” as this must be done by self, where anything that simply placates a state of anxiousness is not actually confronting a state of anxiousness and looking at what it is in fact, as it is fear within a system of inequality, as fear of survival filled with ideas as to what will enable survival within this touted collective personification - accepted and allowed of inequality- and this on an earth that gives freely without any signature of ownership
When and as I see myself “bracing myself inwardly” in fear of upsetting a man, I see realize and understand that I cannot ‘upset” a man, and this action is really a protection defense learned in childhood against the behaviors of my father, himself possessed by a fear of loss.
I commit myself to no longer allowing myself to fear the wrath of a male becoming upset within himself and within this believing I must take care of my behavior in order to avoid this, as this has nothing to do with myself, and if anything, my reaction of self blame in relation to this, as what I am doing is trying to avoid the negative emotion.
When and as I see myself becoming a character of caution in relation to men, I stop and I breath, and I realize I am going into a character/energetic possession of wanting to placate and “save” where I see, realize and understand that this wanting to save is myself wanting to stop the emotion of the male in protection and defense as I believe and/or was not taught that I cannot stand up, one and equal to the emotion and clarify what exists here within self honesty, self direction and self trust, within a principle of oneness and quality as common sense of this physical world, where the only solution is to actually be physically present here.
I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that the polarities as emotions , thoughts and feelings are myself in fear, protection, defense of what is actually physically here in common sense one and equal to and as what is this physical world.

Day 178 rejection through having judged

Day 178
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all judgements are an act of protection and defense, all thought are a delineation of myself from taking a physical action that is in communion with and as life here in and as breath.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to perpetuate the act of myself as a child, being in comfort of attention and energetic excitement as a feel good high, where the loss of this created a fear become anger as reaction, the sequence of which was in and as itself an act of separation from here, a development of myself from here, where I then began the behavior of survival, mimicking the influences as the same behaviors as all that was accepted and allowed within the social structures of the human, as the world within which I was born and bore as a self definition in separation from myself as life, where life was the physical world.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have had the thought that my parents needed pity and/or thought less of me, not seeing realizing and understanding their ownaddictions to finding solace in all that was known to them as the seeking of a feel good within and as themselves, an existence within a bubble of self interested realignment to a state of bliss as innocence, where this expression as life was not given development within expression in and as this physical world and instead developed into a inner feeling of bliss that required constant validation as it was not constant, as this was not an inner action of unity with all life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the mind reflects the ideas,beliefs, and opinions of loss and thus is the sign of separation, yet the human has made the sign of separation what is real, not seeing realizing and understanding the true nature of what the mind is in fact.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the only choice is to face this separation as the signifier of what is feared being lost as the illusion, and thus the means of placing self into and as life, here - as though what is the divider is the guide, as the thing separating shows what it is as its nature, and thus reveals what it is, as actions cannot be hidden because they are an act and have a consequence.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to take my thoughts and use them to beat others into submission to and towards my own thoughts as the signifiers of my separation, in an attempt to make my separation valid and real, not seeing realizing and understanding that in one way this is making my fear more important and valid than another’s fear, because my hurt and injustice was greater than another’s, when this is the nature of injustice made huge not realizing it is “in just” not understanding what is the reality of this actual physical world and self as life within and as this, and all that is here is to support those who managed to control and build the biggest pyramid of separation from themselves as life as this is the system accepted and allowed that must stop and realign to and towards what is best for all through actual research of this physical world absent a system of profit that is structured to allow a few to horde what is given freely by this earth as this earth is life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that interaction with the mind as justifier and screamer of my hurt is greater than your hurt, is one long crying whine/whincing/ manipulating of self physically, and is the very act of separation from being one and equal to what is here, to actually learn and become an expression in and as life, that which is really sought by all that are here, as this physical world, yet the separation is what is believed to be real. WTF
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not stop, within and as breath, to see, realize and understand the mechanics of the mind, through listening and reading what desteni presents as how the mind functions, where self forgiveness, corrective application and writing are the tools to see what has been accepted as a quantum mind to stop the separation from actual physical common sense of this physical world into and as existing within a separate inner reality within a belief that thoughts are real and have value, and the state of this world reveals that thoughts have no value other than indicating how delusional and separate from reality man has become, and how this separation serves self interest, where a few have managed to collect more than in their own self interest as they are separate from life where the only choice is to realize that life is the value.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in growing up what was often said between my father and I was that having another pour their emotions and feelings out was crude, as this was an act of self interest and a manipulation, where I learned to “push back” on this instead of looking at the separation that it was admitted that this was, as it is a device of manipulation as seen in the documentaries Psywar/ a Century of Self/ The Trap which reveal how this is used, how the fanning of emotions into and as desires as beliefs of what is needed to make self more than and satisfied is in the self interest of consumerism and has no directive to and towards an awareness of how this physical world actually functions to become one and equal with and as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the anger towards this as a judgement is myself in fear of facing how emotions and feelings are a separation from life, of facing my own accepted and allowed emotions and feelings as accumulated thoughts as desires wants and needs that have no actual direction within and as becoming one and equal to and as life here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize, in practice, with and as every breath, self forgiveness and corrective application as the tools of support to bring myself here to become one and equal to what is actually here and face whatever emotion, thought and feelings within and/or without to stand within the directive principle of what is best for all, where through breath and common sense this is not difficult as this is equality and oneness with and as life, and therefor, what is best for all and what is best for self, here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the emotions and feelings cannot touch me unless I accept and allow them to as they are energy, unable to sustain themselves without constant validation and voice and thus have no constancy within and as common sense.
Thus, I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have back chat in and as my mind, in indignation, as “ Don’t pour your emotions all over me” or “How dare you waste my time with your self pity” and / or “Get the fuck away from me” or “ How dare you ask me in your insipid voice to tell me that I am hurting your feelings - this just makes me want to gag and roll my eyes” as such back chats are in many ways myself just wanting my own emotions and feelings to be center stage.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to regret ever having existed as such a personification of my own self interests in abdication of myself as life.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that this character of indignation categorized my emotions and feelings as having more value than another’s emotions and feelings, and yet there was a grain of truth within and as this, that emotions and feelings are a separation from what is here- the voice of the mind in separation from life here and the voice of self interest.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this I accept and allow my own emotion/reaction of guilt when having emotions and feelings that are one and the same as what I denigrate in others.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see how this can create a character of self righteousness and superiority, actually separating myself from what is here, as this is not an act of equal consideration and self direction, and self honesty into and as what is best for all, as the separation into more than, covered with cultural more-alls is a separation from consideration that all ( as one as equal) is the real “more” in and as realizing that the value is life, here.

Within this I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become, and allow a behavior of rejection through having judged an emotion and feelings instead of realizing the separation and directing this separation back into and as self as life, as all as one as equal, here,
Within this, I commit myself to directing all emotions and feelings in compassion and humility to and towards what is practically best for all, to see, realize and understand that indignation is not a solution but a rejection of self honesty to and towards life, here.
I commit myself to breathing, to realizing that I have the tools, provided and shared by desteni to realign myself within the principle of “giving as one would like to receive” to no longer allow a character of rejection in and as indignation and righteousness.

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