Day 685 The Caregiver Archetype continued. Self Corrective Statements.

The Caregiver Archetype

Today I had a meeting where I had to evaluate information I had accumulated and listen to perspectives about that information. I then had to frame the perspective in practical ways, calling measure by name. For example, the description of an embedded behavior being a form of an emotional polarity, or building a framework of what might become the next steps. 

Within me, there are these ‘ colored movements’ which are my own accepted and allowed emotional polarities. They are beliefs, opinions and ideas about things, that have no real practical building movement. 

At one point, I realized that being there and simply communicating about things, giving perspectives that qualified behaviors and outcomes was what connected and what built understanding. I did not need to have an emotional connection other than the simple understanding in practical measure. Within this, I could see and build possible outcomes and relate the practical steps necessary to continue building.

Within the caregiver archetype,  I separated myself from being responsible and created more discord in relation to the practical. In wanting a value, a judgement value to define me, as in  allowing myself to be defined by having the value of care, thereby believing myself to be stronger and the one to whom I give care, the weaker, I mistook the practical, as I ran within a self interest as a belief, or idea generated from my past.  In reality, real relationships need no desire for connection, as the real connection is the intention to create actions that show the practice of common sense. This means that there is nothing owed and everything to be thankful for.  It by nature moves with more ease. 

I noticed today as I communicated the practice of self forgiveness, to slow way down and breath and let go of preconceived ideas and to listen to the present moment. I had the space and time to realize what was being expressed, even when that expression was moving into describing another behavior other than previously discussed. I could see the form, breath, not allow myself to become rigid and fixed in a desire to say something myself, like I was rushing to ensure my idea of connection. Instead I let this go and listened. What I found is that what was communicated as a form fit into a pattern, the same pattern previously discussed. Hence, in listening, I could call what existed by name.  It was the practice of being grounded here, sharing instead of competing. 

In all I can only ever be here. What I believe in and as my mind, even if it is information that has some validity, is information. This can change in a moment, and which may not fit into the same way of description as my own and/or may open another dimension about something.. Whether it is from myself or another, it is as a spoken word, a perspective of this actual and real physical world.  In every moment, to remain stable, information must fit into the practical, and it is this grounding, that builds functional and trust worthy relationships.

Afterwards, I felt that I had an anxiety attack, and in this fear, I could sense that I wanted to spite, to shut down, to not face the next steps. i would go over what I was about and realize the practical . Something that has no where near the difficulty being fearful would imply. 

Within this there is a natural desire to be self responsible, so where does the fear of being self responsible come from? And as a consequence, where does the spite to and towards being responsible come from?  Once something is understood it is no longer difficult. A starting point of a desire to fix something loses a starting point of acceptance of all things.  A starting point of wanting to be responsible separates from being self responsible, and then misses the movement of creation. In this there is no need for spite, which is resistance. Resistance then becomes a marker to indicate the need to slow down, breath, ground myself here, and absorb- to process what is here, without judgement, to consider all things and realize what is best. 

Within all of this, great patience is necessary. Great calm. And great empathy for myself as I have accepted and allowed myself to race as a mind consciousness system of limited values, a story that was a lie by omission, composed of mistakes on reality and justifications that polarized values and  created a memory in separation from life, stored in the muscles of my physical body. I have resisted being here, in practical reality. I have spited here, spited life and consequentially been the source of my own fear. Yes, realizing this as a child, with a world of adults being an authority of same game, it was difficult. Thus within this, there is no one to blame, as I, my own accepted and allowed humpty dumpty can be the only one to put myself back together again. This means breathing, slowing down, grounding myself here in the physical. If I develop the patience to listen, then perhaps I can develop the patience to watch the grass grow and become equal and one to creation as who and what I really am and journey through the eye of the needle.

The solution is to become the master of one’s self as life. This is done with writing self forgiveness and self corrective statements and breathing in every moment. This is making the decision to be here, in equality and oneness with and as life here.

When and as I find myself becoming anxious, nervous, as a reaction, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I ground myself here, within and as taking the small detailed steps of understanding the measure and movement of here, within the physical, to communicate what grounds and stabilizes  within the principle of what is best for all, as in sharing the means of self responsibility, within and as directing into bringing here the practical small steps of how we learn, and how we build and how we form in specific measure, here.

When and as I find myself resisting within and as myself , I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I cross reference to ensure I am not a reaction to a reaction and instead move from problem into solution, in ways that build no lie, that can stand in intense and equality to what self empowers myself and those with whom I am in communion with here.

When and as I find myself becoming tense and constricted within and as my physical body, I stop and I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that gift of myself as life, able to change as  understand the form within my immediate environment - as this is a natural learning ability, an ability to absorb, and I investigate and assess, cross reference, until I can gently move, and direct here, with ease.

When and as I find myself moving into resistance, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I with real eyes, cross reference my own resistances, and residences around me, as they are all a mathematical form, and I assess taking space and time to ground myself into a practical small step to and towards solution that can be understood and self empowering here.

When and as I find myself moving into resistances, I stop and I breath and I check to name the resistance, to see if it is myself fearing that I am not pretty enough, or smart enough , and I stop and I breath and I realize that we are all the same, a human being with great capacity as our ability to assess reality and take, or move, as that which does no harm as this is what we would want for ourselves.

When and as I find myself moving into protection and self defense, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I assess the ideas about who and what I am as a personality, the thoughts composed of charged values as ideas, beliefs and opinions, to see, realize and understand where I have accepted and allowed an inferiority to life here, often hidden within a compounded inferiority, as a righteousness, that is a justification where I define myself as superior, or stronger than another, which is a reaction and not the movement from problem into solution.

When and as I find myself resisting being grounded here, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess the details of here, within and as an understanding of how things are built in a physical world that is creation information, and I  slow myself way down, where I can practice giving within and as lending, sharing, imparting, an understanding of what grounds in practical application.

When and as I find myself acting within a polarity of stronger and weaker, being that I judge another as weaker, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess , listening  to hear/here the potential of life that is around me, ever present as this is the very means of the physical here and thus this is always here.

When and as I find myself judging another as weak, or myself as weak, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I recognize the energy, as the polarity, as the value judgement, and I assess until I can find an ease to self direct,  that grounds, here.

When and as I find myself losing empathy for myself, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that I have not walked the practical, the practice of being here as the physical and the means of building equality and oneness with the physical, as I have accepted and allowed myself to race as a mind consciousness system, thus walking the practical means realizing with joy , the small steps that are the means to communicate and commune with life, physical life, as this is the means to connect with the space to create and build in calm, gentle, humble, and consistent ways.

When and as I find myself moving into forcing something, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, realize and understand that this forcing is a form of resistance, and I assess what I have accepted and allowed within and as me, to transform the caregiver archetype into moving as what is best for all, here.

When and as I find myself moving as wanting to define myself as caring, wanting recognition, as validation from another, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, until I am here, equal and one and present with this moment here.

When and as I find myself  becoming scared, leading into bewilderment and confusion, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I assess my within and the without, until  I can see the parts and the whole as the construct of information, and I do so with empathy and support within understanding that it is a process to understand what I have accepted and allowed as a mind consciousness of limited values become personality, composed of energy as charged value judgments , and I see, realize and understand the consequences of this as the environment in which I live, and I deconstruct and reconstruct one step at a time. moving with care and empathy in relation to who I am and what I have accepted, to see, realize and understand who I am and what I am as life here, as a physical embodiment of life in expression as creation to empower myself as life, to model the potential of what each is, which is life.

When and as I find a movement, as a pressure within and as the back of my neck, and my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I slow way down, and I assess, one step at a time, being gentle, humble, calm, to move the natural ability within and as me, an absorbent ability,  to assess what I have accepted as the movement of me, to realize resistances and fears and to accept the gift of life as the physical, to understand what builds into solutions that impart no harm, and expose the potential of life that is always here.

When and as I find myself wanting to build a value between myself and another, to define who and what I am, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down,  to see, realize and understand the practical which is what can withstand the test of time and build real stable relationships, here, that create communication with no binds, as the communication allows self empowerment which is the real value, here, and what I would want for myself here.

When and as I find myself becoming sad, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I deconstruct this belief that something is sad, until I can see, realize and understand the detailed mistakes on reality, being empathetic to myself within this movement/practice, until I have assessed within the principle of what is best for all, what directs in detail to and towards self empowerment, which is the real value, here.

When and as I find myself defining myself as having a value in relation to sharing with another a perspective and pointing things out or offering advice, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess within the principle of what is best for all, realizing the value is life and that I am one and equal to what is here, as the physical composition of life, where the parts working in tandem create the whole. and as this, the expression of life is the real value.

When and as I find myself having a reaction that I am insignificant, or meaningless, or worthless, I stop and I breath, and I slow way down, and on one level, I realize this is a belief accepted in childhood, and that this will take time to transform into no longer to be scared of giving, as in sharing perspectives and tweaking mistakes on reality as this is a process of realizing in practice that value being life.

When and as I find myself reacting as a self judgement of insignificance, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down and I realize the significance of life, as being the value, and as something that is practical and right here in front of me.

I am going to walk this character of ‘ insignificance’ further.

Thank You for reading!

Day 605 Self Forgiveness on this Morning's Rant. I am what I accept and allow.

SF on Suppression

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear following through, to fear moving out of agreement within a narrow focus in perspective of reality with others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have made the mis-take of reality, in my dealings with others, as I allowed myself to remain within self interest based on a fear of thwarting what was around me as the focus of other’ within my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand my own stuckness conceptually within which limited my perception of reality without, and lead to stagnation within and as me into and as a lesser expression composed of value touting within a very narrow focus, an entity within the machine of and as me as my human physical body as a mind consciousness of limited structure that became physically integrated as the information of and as me, this that I accepted and allowed, where there is no one to blame, no one to spite, simply to become a directive principle of being aware, using my common sense, to respect all life as the physical and to see, at this point, the structures manifest as the present financial system that limits access to exposure and opportunity to grow and accept/ become the innate ability of men, to care for their world around them and to develop in awareness of the practical physical world here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to tout a good, in a very narrow focus, in self interest and gain, without looking at the consequences of my narrow self interest and what such ignores and does not consider within the broader physical world in which I live, to see, realize and understand the total machine of life as the physical, to connect with this unawareness, as mind,  I have allowed and to bring this into awareness as this is real living, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the inner conflict of limited values where the good touting is what defines me, this based on ignoring the whole, creating a bad of my own common sense, in and as not looking at the whole and the parts, and suppressing/ignoring/resisting/ shutting down/ running from/ fearing to face/ my own sensibility as my natural ability as life to absorb the world around me, my natural learning ability, my common sense, my own ability to conceptualize the form and function of this means of life as this physical world, which necessitates a direct connection to, awareness of, respect for, direct seeing/being in connection with.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that the suppression of myself as life, has become a habit, like a broken record, like a dis-eased entity, like a fearful ghost, like an angry demon, like a embittered man, like a lack of connection, like a slow-moving-conceptually- blob of spewing value over practical reality - stuck in this persona of embroidered justifications, creating a techno colored dream coat of pictures justifying my own existence consuming the very flesh of me as life, continuing the separation from life that I accepted and allowed until that life is gone, a life that never connects to life, and as such ends up trespassing on life instead of becoming one and equal with what is eternal, which is realizing the value is life, here, as life the substance of life which is nothing into expression/movement as informing as the physical world.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that I must as an expression of life forgive my trespasses as ego against life, which is the act of deconstruction of myself into reconstruction through writing and self corrective measurable sounding and action as accepting life through self forgiveness of what self has accepted and allowed to define self in self interest in separation from self as life as self as the sound of common sense here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  believe that there is conflict in expressing life awareness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe I must answer to limitation to survive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear moving in common sense of here, as this is the only choice.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear resistance to change.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to  look at comfort zones in fear of the slowing down to look movement and redirection movement in changing the awareness platform as idea made comfortable conceptually to define, embedded and as such a process of walking the movement into change, to rebuild, to return to self as life to connect to the physical world, to realize practical reality, to find the ease of self here, no longer trespassing on life, but becoming one and equal to and as life here.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that reaction is reaction to change, where the process is to realize one’s starting point and to expand in awareness to and with the whole as the physical.

Self Corrective Writing

When and as I find myself  becoming a falling liquid as mind, from my head area, a heavy unclear syrup that is not of ease, like  pristine water, like a clearness that is like a lens of seeing directly and becoming that of direct seeing as conceptually being able to move with ease into the only choice in and as solution within awareness of what is best for all, I stop and I breath and I assess what I am allowing as belief, opinion and idea, and I stop, I slow down, and I evaluate what I am perceiving as this accepted and allowed entity of limited insight and personification of limited values and resisting common sense as the bad entity that will pop the bubble of self definition that I accepted and allowed, and here to see realize the conflict as my resistance to being and doing and moving as self as life here, which is in application, the directive as the principle of what is best for all is best for self.

When and as I find myself feeling loopy within and as me, I slow way down and I breath, and I do not allow myself to feel unworthy or less than, or guilty, or ashamed, I accept and forgive what I have accepted and allowed, and I walk myself back into being connected with practical reality in accepting myself as life, and realizing that that which I had made a bad as an idea is of a different quality other than my own cultural constructs only and does not define me- thereby becoming limited in and as a belief that this negating could cancel my own self definitions - and to also realize that undercurrent of my own common sense, which I have allowed myself to suppress in fearing to look at the whole as the physical  and be  myself as life, within  myself  my common sense ability to accept self responsibility as life, here.

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