Day 818 Everything is a system. What is regret, pressure, and " no-force" ?

The issue of regret comes up at times. Yet, regret like procrastination is a distraction if held onto for too long. This becomes a self definition that is about the past, being projected in front of one, consuming the attention of one, that in itself once reviewed, remediated and corrected in terms of what would change a similar outcome in one’s actions, can become in itself a means to realize a state of separation from living. Living means to be here, because this physical creation is what is real, is what remains, is what continues beyond the self. The physical is creation manifest, it shows what works and what does not work. Therefore, attention is here. Doing things manifests here, as the physical. Is it not ironic that religion suggests, because that is all it can do, that there is something more? Being the suggestion of a more, without practical physical, directing focus HERE, is an illusion. One has become a relationship, a relating, to an idea created as built as imaged within. The perfect storm of control. We are happy when we are focused, completely, and doing. This has a movement of problem solving, as one is focused here. Not the best thing to promote if one wants control, or wants to play a god, or guru, or statism. This game is ultimately an illusion. 

Lately, I have had the idea swirling around within me, that instead of having what we call religion, as churches, the form of the state will become a replacement religion. This will be some invisible hand, fist, entity, that passes down determinations that the state workers will then relay, taking no responsibility for a compliance lacking in common sense of living physical reality because some guru/god/invisible-hand voice from some far off “ state” passed a set of words on a page that must be followed, and it is not my fault as I make sure all the lines on a piece of paper are properly filled in. This, a focus in a petrie-dish office distant from what is living. The goal to generate income for that pension, despite the consequences on the ground.  This, overall, an imposed entity construction determining outcomes that someone else somewhere else must change. All the while, this whole thing is made up of people. It is the collective in compliance without common sense that holds such things in place. And, as in Detroit, it can all be taken away, in a moment.  This is the hard way. It need not be this way.  When realized, the regret at following without practical investigation of the “ rulings” as measures embraced and “ handed” down via anonymous notes as words-on-a-page ONLY from a air-conditioned office ( telling in itself , remember petrie-dish environments) is not real living, and will lead to regret, potentially colored with a self pity of and as “ I did what I was told.” If we, each one, wake up, this would not exist, this compliance without investigation. And it need not exist, as I have found that often such words as “ may” are in the documents, meaning it is not suggested that one HAS to follow the dictates of the state. I saw such in the State educational words; basically, the townships can do what ever they want. Of course, the funding may not come through unless one uses the guidelines. If we look, that which is funded, is most probably not what is best. It is similar to the devil smiling. One must be given choice, because that places liability on the bottom, but the caveat is that to get this, which is an “ order” promoted/suggested ONLY, one must comply with the offerings. If one is not in a mode of common sense, and self responsibility, the storm of suggestion appears to be a more. That “ more” though coupled with “ good,” is the illusion that when followed, will lead one down the road of regret. That regret can then become a further distraction from stepping into common sense, the place of real doing, of making the choice to be self responsible, to develop awareness and presence, the kind that lend a direct focus on reality, where things get done, where one finds instead of anxiety, real happiness. This is the place where one discovers a sensibility to create. This is where one really lives, here. Let’s call it here ness, which sounds like hear-ness. This, would engage all the senses. I wonder if one could say that when all the senses are properly engaged, if that “ heart” opens up and begins to flow? Is this that has been hidden in plain sight all along, as simple as the physical body being in a synchronicity of focused engagement that opens up that heart - which spells “ earth.”? Is this simplicity and as such release, in contrast to the emotional/feeling storm of ideas, beliefs, and opinions, as a resonant construct within, something that was always here outside of the anxiety of chaos held in place through this absence of proper use of the physical manifestation of one’s self as life here? I mean, there is nothing wrong with chaos, it is simply a moment of deconstruction and reconstruction, that when done properly, would express a graceful transformation!  As humanity, we have rebuilding to do.

Obviously, perhaps, there are some so far down a rabbit whole of constructed division from real presence, that to justify that means to define the whole through that extreme, is more of the same game. In reality, -most likely, percentage wise - a greater number would choose to change into being present and focusing here, being real as a doing that will lead to happiness. The test of worst case scenario being made larger than life, is a part of an inner resonant storm of ideas. beliefs, and opinions, and will be projected by the “ state” of who stands to lose such ideas, beliefs, and opinions holding a currency of more for them at the expense of life. We are happy when we are focused and creating, and unhappy when we are not. Survival is a game of surreptitious vivacity, or superstitious seeming vivaciousness that is like a bling of a more, when that is the means of separation from being present, utilizing one’s common sense, which is sensing here. If we are able to read resonant shadows, our sensibilities must be so incredibly awesome, it is a wonder we do not realize that the full employment of them would be fulfilling, and so revealing of the incredible mechanism of creation that is the self equal and one with all that is here, that shows in its very expression that living self.  Just look at children. Before they become limiting personifications of ideas, beliefs and opinions, they learn more quickly, which means they have a greater presence. What is lost is what is more natural. Look to being in a state of urgency. That is like a raging train that can no longer see the total landscape, which is a state of appearing to be moving, but in fact is a slowing down done through accepting definition of limited information. Schools are a raging train. Such can be touted as a good, when in effect, they are the cause of greater attention disorders, which are cognitive disorders, which are mental disorders, which are the fault of the parents, because the parents experience that child before a resonant chaos of ideas, beliefs and opinions, become a projected entity from within, that has lost its presence in reality. I should know, I am a parent. I see the ideas I passed down, through acceptance from my parents, most probably for seven generations. I can blame no one but myself, and must become proactive, instead of allowing such self pitying generations to define this as that is not being the model of being present, of being the change necessary to never allow this to happen again, to not inhibit the potential of sensing the most subtle of things, the living things that are always, here, in all ways.

Real focus is making the choice to always be present, living a movement of constant cross reference to what is here, which is a movement of forgiving one’s self to what is here, respecting this physical reality, because it is life. This is a transformation out of ego, which is a mind consciousness of ideas, beliefs and opinions made larger than all things. If one accepts that state job, for example, one looks here, and only accepts that which causes the least harm - given what has been accepted - before one chooses revenue generation, for example. We all know this, and because of this there is no excuse. One knows when one makes excuses, as it always has the color of regret. That regret compounds, because what we practice, as what we allow, compounds as this is how a mastery of something also happens. One can master denial, or one can master real doing. To master real doing, one remains focused with presence, sensing what is here. Even I can notice a dog that is not moving because I suddenly realize it is blind, and because of the ensuing evening light, has suddenly lost seeing, and perhaps has a slower response time because that dog must learn to employ other senses yet unmastered, and therefor as an appear-ingly delayed response time. This indicates that we live in a huge magnificent orchestrated expression of life, where we are the most prefect math to sense this reality. It is only blocked by resonant ideas, beliefs and opinions. 

Within this, what I have learned is that every limitation of and as this, will be faced, and must be walked through.  And will be faced many many times. Acceptance of that, and one grows in faith in terms of business within this. The limitations no longer something to fear as they are signifiers of that urgency called energy and actually lend solution. We can live without ego. We can live without this resonant inner state of separation from living reality.  The physical is life in expression and what is most real. 

I remember a master cellist telling me that in order to perform in a quartet, one must have absolutely no ego. Otherwise, it cannot be done. And yet, when in real focus, in real doing, as performing, that moment of no ego, when the four are focused and present, is when the greatest joy happens. We are happy when we are focused and unhappy when we are not. Our words must become living words. Each small word redefined, refocused into this living reality, equal and one. 

Have you become a master of blame or a master of self as creator as life? Our words should be natural, as living words. This directing our incredible sensitivity as life, to be focused here, to open our hearts to reflecting creation, as life, as the physical.  It is a focus that has no quality, or value of urgency. It is lacking of the rejection of life, as the weight of regret. Real focus lacks that raging weight of limitation. Focus has its own “ pressure” in relation to what is here as ego. Focus lacks forcing something. We all know this, as we have all had moments of calm and the joy of forgiving that is that allowance of discovery. We need only employ that to all moments in our lives, to never have regrets because we lived a full employment of life as respecting all things because they are us in another life, by definition. 

Real focus lacks a pressure. It has no “ force.” One can practice that measure of focus, every day, in the small, rebuilding, to position one’s self in hearing here! It is to master the small with correct definition to realize the more complex when it appears as one expands in awareness. Yet, one must realize one’s separations and practice walking the deconstruction of them, to realize the patterns one has mastered as that resonant storm of ideas, beliefs, and opinions, and at the same time, embrace a natural ability to focus here and learn, which is the expansion of one’s awareness as the self as life. 

Day 662 Moving from mind consciousness to presence here, forgiving the stim of limitation.

I was out walking this morning, when I could see how I funneled myself into ideas, beliefs and opinions. Like I take the very focus of and as me  and force it into a measure, like a construct of values within a creation as an image.

There is this memory of a fear of not fitting in, not reaching others, not getting through, not having interaction.  A sense that I am not seen, as a reaction to reaching the people in my world.

As a child, considering the existent mind consciousness, did I have to catch up to the train of the mind, and focus my beingness equal and one to the measure as the means of communication with the adults around me?  Did I have to enter the storm of the mind to reach through the focus of another? Probably. Did this ‘ hurt’ in a way, or did I allow it to ‘ hurt’ me in a way” Did I see this as a bully on my presence? And yet, did I see this as a means to an end, where I as a child started to read a lot?

Did I become fearful in my attempts to match the measure of belief that motivated the actions of the adults in my world? Did I get caught up in the fragmented mind/value/system forgetting the original goal? Did the information I allowed become an excitement in a desire to reach a goal that was in itself limited and forgetful of considering all things to realize what was of equal value to life as the physical around me? Did I also enjoy the process of creation that is inherent even when a limited form/construct is the outcome?

Am I so used to following knowledge and information that to move from this to the information of life as the physical means abandoning the measure of information I have accepted and allowed to direct me? Am I so used to what is 1% of my capacity that leaving that limited awareness, a comfort zone, appears to be a loss, and the fear of standing outside this socially means causing friction to and towards a collective limitation? If I focus only on the lack, where do I end up? I cannot blame or spite the lack, that leads to further fragmentation. Hence I can only focus myself here, accepting the life that is around me as the physical.

I have the space and the time here, to investigate and understand the physical world around me, where there is no place to fall, as falling will only move into the nothing that is the everything, the darkness that is the light, the very substance of creation, always here, the most gentle of all things, the most forgiving of all things, the potential of all things, right here, thus I can forgive myself for all things as this is the expression of creation. I need not fear any bully of information, as change involves by nature transformation which is forgiving, as forgiving is returning to nothing that is everything. I am here. 

Thus in every breath, I forgive myself to here, to assessing what is here, realizing it cannot define me in the next moment, and as this there need be no despair, no fear of loss as the nature of creation is change, fluid, constant. I can focus here, let go the mind only consciousness, as accepted and allowed information, taking that which is good and does no harm, to return myself in every breath to that which is gentle, present, nothing and everything.

I slow myself down to realize my own measure of stimming myself into a limited expression. tensing myself, forcing myself , bullying myself into an inner mind consciousness in separation from respect of all things, taking that which is good and does not harm. I am here. I am life. I choose equality and oneness with and as life, as this is what I am here.

Day 605 Self Forgiveness on this Morning's Rant. I am what I accept and allow.

SF on Suppression

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear following through, to fear moving out of agreement within a narrow focus in perspective of reality with others.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have made the mis-take of reality, in my dealings with others, as I allowed myself to remain within self interest based on a fear of thwarting what was around me as the focus of other’ within my world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand my own stuckness conceptually within which limited my perception of reality without, and lead to stagnation within and as me into and as a lesser expression composed of value touting within a very narrow focus, an entity within the machine of and as me as my human physical body as a mind consciousness of limited structure that became physically integrated as the information of and as me, this that I accepted and allowed, where there is no one to blame, no one to spite, simply to become a directive principle of being aware, using my common sense, to respect all life as the physical and to see, at this point, the structures manifest as the present financial system that limits access to exposure and opportunity to grow and accept/ become the innate ability of men, to care for their world around them and to develop in awareness of the practical physical world here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to tout a good, in a very narrow focus, in self interest and gain, without looking at the consequences of my narrow self interest and what such ignores and does not consider within the broader physical world in which I live, to see, realize and understand the total machine of life as the physical, to connect with this unawareness, as mind,  I have allowed and to bring this into awareness as this is real living, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the inner conflict of limited values where the good touting is what defines me, this based on ignoring the whole, creating a bad of my own common sense, in and as not looking at the whole and the parts, and suppressing/ignoring/resisting/ shutting down/ running from/ fearing to face/ my own sensibility as my natural ability as life to absorb the world around me, my natural learning ability, my common sense, my own ability to conceptualize the form and function of this means of life as this physical world, which necessitates a direct connection to, awareness of, respect for, direct seeing/being in connection with.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that the suppression of myself as life, has become a habit, like a broken record, like a dis-eased entity, like a fearful ghost, like an angry demon, like a embittered man, like a lack of connection, like a slow-moving-conceptually- blob of spewing value over practical reality - stuck in this persona of embroidered justifications, creating a techno colored dream coat of pictures justifying my own existence consuming the very flesh of me as life, continuing the separation from life that I accepted and allowed until that life is gone, a life that never connects to life, and as such ends up trespassing on life instead of becoming one and equal with what is eternal, which is realizing the value is life, here, as life the substance of life which is nothing into expression/movement as informing as the physical world.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that I must as an expression of life forgive my trespasses as ego against life, which is the act of deconstruction of myself into reconstruction through writing and self corrective measurable sounding and action as accepting life through self forgiveness of what self has accepted and allowed to define self in self interest in separation from self as life as self as the sound of common sense here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to  believe that there is conflict in expressing life awareness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe I must answer to limitation to survive.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear moving in common sense of here, as this is the only choice.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear resistance to change.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear to  look at comfort zones in fear of the slowing down to look movement and redirection movement in changing the awareness platform as idea made comfortable conceptually to define, embedded and as such a process of walking the movement into change, to rebuild, to return to self as life to connect to the physical world, to realize practical reality, to find the ease of self here, no longer trespassing on life, but becoming one and equal to and as life here.

I forgive myself for not seeing realizing and understanding that reaction is reaction to change, where the process is to realize one’s starting point and to expand in awareness to and with the whole as the physical.

Self Corrective Writing

When and as I find myself  becoming a falling liquid as mind, from my head area, a heavy unclear syrup that is not of ease, like  pristine water, like a clearness that is like a lens of seeing directly and becoming that of direct seeing as conceptually being able to move with ease into the only choice in and as solution within awareness of what is best for all, I stop and I breath and I assess what I am allowing as belief, opinion and idea, and I stop, I slow down, and I evaluate what I am perceiving as this accepted and allowed entity of limited insight and personification of limited values and resisting common sense as the bad entity that will pop the bubble of self definition that I accepted and allowed, and here to see realize the conflict as my resistance to being and doing and moving as self as life here, which is in application, the directive as the principle of what is best for all is best for self.

When and as I find myself feeling loopy within and as me, I slow way down and I breath, and I do not allow myself to feel unworthy or less than, or guilty, or ashamed, I accept and forgive what I have accepted and allowed, and I walk myself back into being connected with practical reality in accepting myself as life, and realizing that that which I had made a bad as an idea is of a different quality other than my own cultural constructs only and does not define me- thereby becoming limited in and as a belief that this negating could cancel my own self definitions - and to also realize that undercurrent of my own common sense, which I have allowed myself to suppress in fearing to look at the whole as the physical  and be  myself as life, within  myself  my common sense ability to accept self responsibility as life, here.

                             http:lite.desteniiprocess.com

Day 179 Self validation

Day 179
Self Validation
Every moment I start talking about myself, I am in essence validating myself, as I have to describe, verbally to another what I am, which is in essence not allowing that person to actually see what I am, and instead I am dictating what I am. And most of the time, not wanting anyone else to talk, just so I can get all my words in as what I am wanting to be told. Makes me think of judges on benches. I had jury duty, and the “judge” gave a lecture at the end to the ones who were not placed through the lottery onto the jury, and gave a speech about how import the service was, and how the ones NOT chosen had missed an opportunity. Meanwhile, there were policemen in the room and no one in the crowd was allowed to talk. So the judge was talking about how wonderful is/was system - how successful- and how other countries are coming to America to learn the same model. Yet no one was allowed to speak up for or against this! And then he went on to talk about how wonderful democracy is. Meanwhile, the whole picture and interaction is the opposite of democracy. No one is allowed to talk, to raise their hand and speak, all that is actually physically taking place is a dictation from a bench on high talking about how wonderful this situation is.
I won’t go into the amount of abuse existent on earth at this moment, that is real, the point here is that a judge sitting on a bench TELLING me that this system is wonderful and not allowing any other voice, does not make this system wonderful when in actuality there is enough evidence that it is NOT. But then again, the need for the policement in the room, and the need for silence from anything other than the voice on the pedestal on the bench is a VERY CLEAR indication - of a structure and force of denial and suppression in self interest, that no words saying it is good can deny.
Which reveals that if something needs to say it is good, needs to validate itself as being something, then clearly it is actually an act of taking common sense away and placing/forcing that supposed “good.”
This is no different when I tell a story about myself, instead of directing myself in common sense of what is actually here.
Try becoming silent around people, and they will begin to validate themselves through incessant talking; and then try to change the topic, and -as the program has started -more than likely this will cause an upset, like the interruption of a tv show. And probably, any thing said in response by another person, is really a commercial in preparation as the commercial enterprise of the person responding. lol
In this case, the one who built and controls the judges bench, is the one who gets the their supposed imposed “good” to veil common sense. We are all allowing the validation of a collection of rules and laws that are protection/defense mechanisms that speak of themselves as good, as this must be imposed - so obvious in the NEED to substantiate this supposed “goodness”- because obviously “good” does not exist on this earth, this “good” imposition is touting itself as common sense, but the very need to “tout” belies the act. Common sense is common sense, with investigation and actual “here” seeing what is best is best for ALL. And that “ best for all” more than likely will not a dividend make. So, self validation divides and ends common sense, as it is the screaming of self interested justification. This is the character that must exist in a system of survival, as profit, this is the cry of survival in loss of common sense.
Yes, we are allowing a system that is really destructive and not supportive of life in any way. And it has to stop. The first step, is an equal money system, to organize a structure that supports life, so that we as life, can develop what we are as life in common sense.
I could never understand why my older sister held herself at a distance from myself and my sisters. One day, as a teenager I found a note book of hers. I opened it to a page, because I didn’t know what it was. I read a few lines and shut the book. It was a litany of how much my older sister hated her other sisters. I was not surprised, but seeing the words validated what I had “sensed” from her, yet was not supposed to believe as it was a “bad/negative” thought and that would not make me a proper “lady” so to speak.
I had come to the conclusion, that my sister was really just angry because she had lost her “special” place because my sister’s and I had been born. My older sister was missing her place as the ONLY one, as the one who got all the attention.
Here I am, 50 years old, and I read this in a blog of self forgiveness. Which means, if I have this realization somewhere, that many, many people have had this same common sense realization about the behaviors of people. This means that we all fucking know this. There is no excuse within this, that we don’t look at why this exists and wake up and look at what is here and figure this out and sort this world out. That behavior of my sister was horrible, and pointless and useless, for her and for me, for all of us. How was this what was given? Why was not, my sister as common sense as life, not what was developed?
My youngest sister had a princess status, as she was the last and a single child- I was a twin- until well into her teens. She will talk to no one in the family, and when she does she becomes hysterical, blaming all of us for not knowing how to LOVE her, that we are all to blame for her problems because we do not know how to love ( and yes, I hope she reads this- she has said that if I call her, she will call the police on me….yes).
In a way she is correct, we do not know how to “give as one would like to receive” as we are doing the same thing she is doing, wanting to revalidate our princess status, our feel good “ I am special” tonality as what we first experienced in life as small children. We can understand that we are doing this, but can we realize the beingness of ourselves as this and clean this up? Can we realize how much we have become this, and how separate we are physically from a development of ourselves within common sense? We cannot read this world, this physical world, we have no trust physically of our own common sense of this world. And the dictates surrounding us through media, individual social expression as reverberation of this very same dictate, the educational system etc., are all doing the same. Just as the judge on that bench talking about how this system - ironically composed of corporations that are now legally “individuals” - is wonderful. The media is the voice of corporations wanting to be “special” and good, ignoring the effects of this so obvious in the existential abuse on earth happening all around us every minute. All of this, separate from common sense of what is actually here, and all of it an imposed energetic storm of “feel good” being simply “touted” validation, which as I said above- is separate from common sense, as the need to do this, is the need to do this, and thus not life existing in and as common sense of what is real.
This is so freaking obvious, and thus it is so obvious that we collectively have to stand up and change this system and learn to exist in common sense of life, which we have never done.
My younger sister’s resonant princess status is so thick because it went on for so long, she has one giant fucking carrot in front of this donkey behavior she has no idea how to remove as she knows (knw=ows, okay I wrote this word by supposed mistake - but it is like a “knowledge that creates ows- like a pain!) nothing else as she does not know what she is as a “sound” divided and conquered by a “feel good” energy as this energy as self is the separation from self as life in common sense of life as what she is and we all are.
There is no one to blame in all this, there is only sorting this all out, self forgiving this, and stopping.
I was talking to a neighbor about this, and they understood and agreed and then went on to validate themselves by telling me their story - their memories.
But i am the same, I believe my story and memories are justified. To realize how much I am this very same action, takes some time to acknowledge and then clean up. And that self as that story, really resists its end, it has been going on for so long. It is like the television as mind, does not want to be turned off, all the things said and done through the years must be found out, these cobwebs of the mind, must be removed and realigned piece by piece. We each allowed this, so we each are responsible to clean this up, and anyway, no one else can “get into your closet as your mind” and clean this up. You, Humpty Dumpty, are the only one who can piece yourself back together again. To NOT do this, is to continue what has been allowed, and thus is to continue the abuse existent on earth, as what must be done, is to develop common sense in and as life, here, as what we all are, one and equal, as what supports us, as this is the gift, and stand as life, in common sense as life, here.
This “mind” fairy tale self is like the “f” in the word “fairy”, the “f” being a self bound to a cross ( as quantum mind), where the turn on the top of the “t” in the shape of the “f” is how you exist as a bowed head, in self abdication as life, to the fantasy “airs” as manners in separation from common sense of self as life.
Even our pictographs tell us what we are. The truth is always right in front of us, thus we need no judges on benches telling us what we are, and thus, is the very act of this telling, a signifier of the absence of common sense development.
Even those born in a situation where they were told they were “bad” from the beginning are of this belief, in and as energy, and are just as much in separation from common sense of self as life, as the ones born into a “princess/prince” energetic existence as belief, opinion and idea.
I know so many families that have an “estranged” sibling. It is a pattern that exists within my world, as I am sure it is the same in many many families. And it is the same story told again and again, and yet we are all caught up in our own emotions and feelings, that our relationship is to our own stories/emotions/feelings - that have become so HUGE- we cannot see that this is a pattern, and these emotions, thoughts and feelings are so loud, we do not “know” as what is resonant within us, anything else. And to, as I have said before, to stop this and step outside of this will feel like major resistance because this is what we have become, and this being as what we are, does not want to die- and it is not real, it is a fantasy in the mind.
Would such an existential state make communication flow between people? Is there real communication between people on this earth? Are your relationships equitable and without conflict, misunderstanding?
We know they are not: as least we have this little tiny tiny bit of common sense left. Is death the point where even this little tiny bit of common sense is gone? Is this the point where the fairy tale has consumed all of self so that all self is is this fantasy in separation from common sense of self as life?
It is time to understand self as mind. Join Desteni, listen to the Eqafe self perfection products. Realize that what exists, a profit based system - as what has been allowed- requires money to exist. Realize that suggesting “giving as one would like to receive” within this present accepted and allowed system does not exist. The very structure of this profit based system must change to become a system of equality that realizes the value is life.
And naturally, a profit based system is going to tout beliefs in all ways possible to keep telling it’s story, and it is not going to want to die. Creating religion and suggesting behaviors that are acts that make a “holier than thou” character end up placing that character on the street, or on a cross, into death where no effective change can happen. It is to not bite the hand that rocks the cradle, but to become the hand that rocks the cradle - of life that is earth as the humans, to birth life into and as the cradle in common sense of life, as this is the value.
Let’s begin with a structural system of equality as an Equal Money System.

The creation of the mind.

Life Review series, to realize separation and the consequences thereof.

The Consciousness of the Fly and much more!

Quantum Mind

The practical solution Equal Money

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Earth's Journey To Life

A playlist of documentaries

Pinterest list of articles  and videos on out current environment

Day 148 A consequence of physical separation

English: Viking lawn mower. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am mowing my lawn, I did not see the rope on the ground. I broke my lawn mower because I was off in loopy land dreaming.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not be here, physically aware of my environment.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have had the back chat voices in my head say, Why the fuck is that rope there!, when it does nothing to blame some unknown seeable thing that placed this rope there, as it was me, so then another voice asked me how it moved to where it was, as I had not put it there but next to the tree, and then I wanted to blame my one son who has a habit of picking things up, as he likes to twiddle things in his hand, thus things are always moved around, as he is blamed, where none of this back chat matters as it is all blame and spite, and the real action that caused the problem was that I was not here, walking in common sense of what was on the ground as I pushed the lawn mower, so there was/is no one to blame but myself as even this is pointless, because all that is needed is for me to be here in common sense and not off dreaming in and as my mind about “whatever.”

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand to what extent I am a energetic mind and not one and equal to life here, physically here, with the only thing I can actually deal with in any given moment, which is being here, breathing, moving in common sense with this instrument of life that is my human physical body, expressing myself here, with life, this physical world, as this is what is real and not the desires, wants and needs, emotions, feelings and opinions , in and as my mind, and if I really take a good look at what i am as mind I will see, realize and understand that the mind is of a limited story line, that bears no witness to what is actually physically happening in this world, as the character personifications are ideas of more than and less than, fear of loss and desire to gain in a game of survival called capitalism that we have all accepted and allowed to be an impression of what life is, when this is not what life is, as many entities, as expressions of life on this planet are not considered and thus abused, thus we are not working with what is here, and within this we have no idea how these things were created as mind, and yet we assume dominance to and towards that which we have no understanding for, where the simplicity of this is so easy to understand and demand that we ask ourselves what we are in fact doing assuming supremacy when we have no clue as to what created this existence, in and as the limited minds we have allowed ourselves to exist as.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to become the character of self pity, to allow an emotion of self pity, where i believe I have been mistreated, unloved and picked on as though some supernatural force has come and purposely caused my lawn mower to break, which is really a mind fuck and myself not being here, looking at what is actually physically here, and within this I realize that this is what has been taught, myself to exist as a superstitious, scared, helpless human, when in fact this is not what i am, I am life, one and equal to what is here, and thus there is no one, no object to blame, nothing to point the finger at, as it was me allowing myself to exist as my mind, a program of no awareness of this physical world, as I accepted and allowed myself to not be aware of the grass and the ground, thus it is not to blame myself either, but to realize that all there is is breath and being physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to Also go into the character of a woman, where I have the back chat , in self pity, that there should be a manly man here to deal with this lawnmower, where I then have back chat to and towards blaming men that I have known for not being here to do what men are supposed to do, which is a belief and not myself actually being here, looking at what is here, realizing that the lawn mower is a machine  and meant to cut grass, and that it functions in a certain way, and if I run over some rope, and the rope gets caught in the blade arm, and pulls on this in an opposing manner, then it will probably break the machine, so thus there is not need for a man to explain a machine like this, I can see, realize and understand that when the blade no longer turns the full circumference, and drags at one point that something has been bent in some way, and thus to fix this is probably more than the machine is worth, as products are made so cheaply now and labor is costly, the only solution is to buy a new one, which as we can see, our system is focused on profit and image and within this, the image thing is that I have to make my house look presentable within established norms because this is the picture wanted in this world, where it is probably better for the grass to be long, as the wind moved the blades as the form of the grass and this allows interaction between the air and the soil, and actually cleans up pollutants in the air as the bacteria in the grass break down the pollutants, thus this whole scenario is not what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to seek a feel good situation in talking about how everything I am doing in mowing the lawn is not what is best for all, when what I was, within that moment of mowing was not being here, equal and one to what I was interacting with in the first place.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to begin to worry about money, as my washing machine is broken as well and I start to worry about spending money on repairs, where i have been in situations like this before and managed to use my common sense and get through them, thus this is what will be walked and within this allowing myself to realize a situation where such mechanical break downs, as they are a part of life at the moment, will not be so overwhelming.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that I had already mowed most of the yard, and it is only a small part to be done, thus since it is Fall and the grass will grow more slowly, I can have someone come and finish the lawn, as this will be more cost effective for where I am at at the moment, and the lawn will probably only need to be mowed one or two more times, thus this situation is not as doom and gloom seeming as I immediately reacted as when I ran over the rope because I was not here breathing and looking at what i was in fact doing physically.

I commit myself to realizing that the only solution to this is to realize the importance of breath, to actually be here, breathing looking at what is here, and to not be following loopy imaginings in and as my mind.

I commit myself to practice listening to what is here, to being one and equal  in and as breath, to exist in common sense of what is actually physically here.

I commit myself to say stop, when and as I become reactive, and to realize all the characters I have accepted and allowed, such as the female character, the self pity character, the superstitious -abdicating responsibility character which is wanting someone else to take care of me character, the doom and gloom-worry-about-money character, the blaming-men character, the blaming-the-system character, the self righteous character, the knowing character, the whole crew of this mind stage play that is a separation from what is actually physically here, this crew a troop of whining, complaining, self interested-one dimensional-cries of energetic-non-substantive-and-able-to-direct and solve storms-in-teacups. What a fucking soap opera of illusion. What the fuck are we doing people?

Desteni I Process Stop the Mind of separation from Life

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Day 89 Attention Seeking

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want attention.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that when I do not get attention it is a lack in another.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to defensively spite another, wish another insignificance when my attentions are not considered important.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to control what is talked about, what is discussed, what is focused upon.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have developed a character that wants attention and focus through discussing knowledge and information, facts and opinions, ideas and beliefs.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have become someone who is the character of talking about things in compensation to the norm of what is considered beautiful in and as my sisters who had a lot of attention from men.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that when I did not get attention for speaking about knowledge and information I would blame the receiver of what I had to say as being arrogant and unable to understand, as what I was was humiliation and hurt in believing I was rejected.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in believing I did not have the pretty face of my sisters I had to use another way and means of getting attention, thus I began to talk about knowledge and information as a way to get attention.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I repeat the same behaviors again and again, as I have become the character of anger at being pushed away where attention was denied, and then I felt humiliated and became spiteful towards the object not attending to me, which I have done with people and with things, when the “car” for instance does not function.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that in wanting my own opinions, beliefs and ideas, as knowledge and information validated, I am in essence asking for attention, and attention to me will never be the scenario as the words spoken are what is attended to and not myself, as the words are the “music” listened to, where it is not about me, it is about the “music” as the movement of what is here, where what is real, is self as life, where the principle of oneness in equality, as directive, is self expressing self as life , here thus within this life is the music.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am expecting attention, and when this is not given, I become spiteful in humiliation, as I fear no longer having attention, as having someone pay attention to me is a self validation, and singular in that what I want is purely attention.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand , that my spite is my self being reactive, being defensive, using blame as my attack, when attention is not payed to myself, where attention in and as itself can,never be given, as it is the being of self here in and as an expression of life as the living word, as life that is what is real and not an idea of getting attention or giving attention.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to listen to the stories of others, to respond to what others have to say in and as hearing their story within the principle of directing as what is best for all, as what is best for all is what is best for them, and to not stop within the story within basking in a stagnant emotion, but in moving what is here within being what is best for all as what is best for self is best for all, within the principle of oneness in equality, where no one is more or less than another, and what exists is life expressing itself as life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am a character wanting attention, wanting all eyes on myself here, instead of realizing that all that is here is life, and thus accepting all that is here as one and equal to me, where no one thing is greater than another, and all is supported in and as what it is as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that myself as seeking attention, is myself in separation from myself as life, as I am here, thus I am life, thus there is no need to seek life as I am it.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something can be lost.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a system that denies life is an absolute atrocity, that in denying life it is obvious that life is not seen, thus those who take and deny sustenance to what is here on this earth, in fact cannot see life, and are in separation from life, living in an illusion believed to be real when the fact that death in non-awareness is the outcome of the human signifies this non-awareness of life, the acceptance of the illusion and the propagation of a belief that what is here on this earth as the physical cannot be understood would be what is expressed within a system that denies life and exists as survival/competition/profit/ division and conquer.

I commit myself to realizing that the character in and as myself seeking attention is myself in separation from life.

I commit myself to seeing that if a system is based on promoting self interest then, this very same system is in fact ignoring/not seeing/lost to what is real, as this physical world, where the act of withholding food and sustenance such as water and shelter to what is here as this physical world as life, is an act of serving the interests of attending to oneself only and not attending to life, as self has been made huge as more than anything else, and thus is self as this ego, in separation from what is real, life here.

I commit myself to realizing that the only thing to attend to is life, and that this is denied as money has been created as what is attended to, as money is resource made separate from life to allow the attentions of self in separation from life to exist in the illusion of self interest, where there is in fact no interest born as self as life has not lived a life of forgiveness of self as life, as life is giving as one  would like to receive, as this earth gives without ownership, it simply gives as it is life.

Earth's Journey to Life

Creation's Journey to Life

Heaven's Journey to Life

Reptilians - The Emergence of Anu

Self Awareness Steps for the Elite

Day 41 Spite as defense of mind imagery/label

Day 41 Spite as defense of mind imagery/label

I forgive my self for allowing and accepting my self to not realize that when I face people I am defensive  and that this defense is spite, that this very action is my self in fear of loss, where I have become so singular as mind I am no longer aware of the fact that this defensive action that is of spite if my self fearing the loss of a fixed idea i have of how I appear to this world, as mind, that is an imposed structure as conditions needed to survive within a hierarchy where money determines who lives and who dies.

I forgive my self for not allowing and accepting my self to look at what actually I exist as, as I interact within this world, from the time I get out of bed in the morning to the time I go to sleep at  night, where I realize that my spite is often prevalent when I am not receiving a feel good response from another person within my world, where if I take the time to stop and to look as I realize my self being spiteful towards another, I am actually existing in competition as energy as I am not receiving an expected response to support a feel good experience of my self, a self validation of what I believe my self to be that I believe has worked to support me as a person of accomplishment giving my self meaning in relation to the world around me, as I have been taught to believe that the amount of knowledge and information I can recall, and the amount of material possessions I acquire determines my value, where any situation that does not validate this belief I have of my self is perceived as a threat to this constant re-validation I require to sustain this image I have of my self as this image is of energy and thus not real, and thus will dissipate if not perpetually acknowledged, where I am so involved within this image I have developed of my self since the day I was born through family, friends, education, media, religion, culture,  that I have lost sight of my self as life, that which is constant and needs no validation as the being of my self as life simply is, where what I seek as I desire to have relationships is this self as life, this constant that is my self as life, not realizing, seeing and understanding that it is the labels I exist as, as what I have been taught, to ensure my survival, that supports my existence within a system of survival , that is my self in separation from my self, as I have limited my self into parts, like a broken Humpty Dumpty, where it is only my self that can take all the labels as separations -as stagnation of my self into singular imagery, that can put my self back together with my self as that which is constant, as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my self to see, realize and understand that spite is a “push back” action, where I resist what does not support the positive image I have of my self, where I feel I am not accepted and within this realize that I am actually not really looking and listening to what is here, where should I listen to what is here I would understand that what I am spiting is actually my self  because what I am rejecting as I defensively spite is my self in another life and the same fear of rejection that I exist as within the being of my self as spite. Within this, if I took the time to communicate effectively, I would come to understand the same fears as I am motivated as, as this is the cause of my own defensive action that is of spite in fear of loss of what I have accepted my self to be as label in separation of my self as life.

I commit my self to breathing and taking the step to realize how much I exist as spite, where I have buried this spite under the ideas as positive thoughts of my self that I have developed that are of labels of what i believe my self to be.

I commit my self to breathing, to maintain a constant awareness of my self within a steady breath no matter what, and within this to watch the action of my self as mind, body and soul.

I commit my self to stopping my self from remaining in fear, as what spite and defensive action is, and to begin to look at what is physically here, where I will begin to realize that what I exist as within is no different than what others exist as within where a lack of communication is what separates equal understanding between two or more people.

I commit my self to breathing, developing a steady consistent breath within my self to become aware of how spiteful I am towards others as I begin to look beyond the ideas I have of my self.

I commit my self to breathing and within realizing how much defensive and spiteful action I exist as, as I practice remaining in breath, to begin to interact with spite, within and without with patience, where I realize that I have actually spent little time in my life actually listening to others and my self, as my behaviors are one and the same, and thus accepted, within a system of division and conquest to serve a system where money comes before life, where money determines life and how money is presently moved around on this earth, supports the stressful separation of my self as life, where I sense that something is not “whole” yet I am so caught up in the game of survival that I am missing what is right here, my self as life - that which I seek that does not require something separate from me to exist other than the needs of my human physical body, such as water, food and shelter, which is given freely by this earth, yet not by man, where earth, this physical world is why I am here and not the other way around.

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