What does it mean to really know one's words Day 751

This morning I woke up and went into an imaginative doom and gloom scenario. I caught it and stopped, breathed, and looked at it. It was a presence behind me, I noticed how I leaned slightly forward physically. Then it hit me. It was like a tree of fear, composed of revenge, and worst case scenarios. My deep mind shadow state of being, with a consequence of no real presence and acknowledgement of the living reality around me.

Last night I had interacted with a  group of people. There were a couple who had a lot of ticks, physical kinks in a way. They had a hard time maintaining a consistent eye contact. One started to tell me of a marriage that was at least 34 years ago.  I can remain calm in this, yet I could say that before SF and SC and writing, I would have wanted to run from the room, not realizing what I was seeing, and absorbing it more, like a friction, a resonant friction that was too hard to bear. Myself wanting escape. At present, I have greater stability, and can hear this, and listen to such storms, even within myself and call them out by name, these trees of fear, these veins of fear, of a mis-take of life. All of them a math, as an accumulation of ideas, beliefs and opinions.  What would I be if I had created a tree of life within me, as me? A tree that reciprocated the living physical reality around me? Would I be more in synch with creation? It is not a question of would, it is a question of why I wouldn’t be, as it is common sense. 

It is interesting within the system, as I have just done my taxes. I have been doing them myself for a while. It is interesting to see the machinations of the system as it bullies and forces what feeds a few instead of what is best for all. At this point, if one does not abide by a one-size-fits-all-petro-chemcial based health care, and one opts out for some ‘ religious’ group, as a philosophical exemption has basically been removed behind some closed door, where no one in the state on all the levels seems to take responsibility and only passes it around,  that if one opts out, under the guise of religion, one is also making the choice to opt out of social security- that system of retirement, where the labor of men, collectively pool their digits for their labor into a system for retirement. If one opts out of health insurance, which has the layer of being under some religious belief ( like human fetal cells in vaccines) one also opts out of social security. I bet one must still continue to pay for it, from one’s job. How we cannot see the inherent corruption, the blatant corruption within this construct and stand up, really astounds me.  Also, there must be others that see this, because years ago, a bill was brought into the state senate for the choice of emergency health insurance only, which means that many people in this state worked together to not participate in allopathic medicine. Thus this method, that many are not wanting to participate within, and it is known,  make the choice to use it in extreme emergencies, yet opt out in the long term. What the system has done, that system of supposed care, is brought forward a construct that is being bullied and forced.  This is so corrupt it is astounding that the collective does not stand up and say no. Yet, there are many that must be doing so, because the forcing of this, is in deed a recognition that many are very aware of this. It is also interesting to note, that the CDC is supposedly bringing forward statements that the science behind their choices, is closed. This in itself is astounding. It is the reaction of being placed in a corner, which means that many are, again, in deed, speaking up and questioning what is being accepted for the collective. Unless there is the choice of balance, and no harm then the science is not yet sound. It is as simple as that. If we can understand how to develop a healthy race horse, and know what builds a healthy nutrient dense plant, then we know how we work on a basic level. I mean, we know what elements to pull from the ground to build things. A cook knows the most subtle of things to cook something. A mechanic knows all the parts and the fluids used in an engine. To say we cannot understand the body, the human body, is simply a misnomer. Choosing a belief in a lack in one area, and being common sense in another, breeds questions, and those questions are being asked, as the reaction of protection done with force and limited choices, reflects a push back on what is proposed. This should lend courage to everyone. It is time to be brave with consistency. It is a time to build a tree of real investigation and understanding, as too many children are suffering the consequences. Not to mention the animals and the living environment. 

Overall, my own ‘ tree ‘, accepted and allowed, of fear, of non real substantiation of life, of the practical, is the same. It is a focus on lack, a denial of common sense. The common sense all around me, and around all of us as the physical world. Of course, the solution is to rebuild. It is to build a tree of life within and as me. It is to stand as the practical, to realize the resonant seed of and as me as life. It is to see all the layers that build into what manifests as physical ‘ ticks’ that I could say are suppressions of mis-takes in understanding how all of this works.  It is to realize that the mis-takes, cannot define me unless I allow them, and that I can stand and listen, and recompose, resolving the fears, bringing them into the practical. It is to realize, as many are, that the physical world is abundant with provisions to stabilize the physical, in symbiotic ways,  creating a orchestra of balance as the sound of what does no harm, as this is the sound of creation, and our real ability. It is to forgive the fear, and to stand with what is balanced and substantive. This can be done, with words. We can, because it is what and who we really are, stand and hold the words that build a tree of life. It is our real birthright. What is so awesome is that we are the very means, and design to be and do this, and that this is more natural than the tree of fear, that tree that weighs us down, pulling our chests forward, that very chest, the means to lend compassion and patience and calm, and respect for who and what we really are. 

A musician that has mastered an instrument is understood as ‘ no longer having to think about it’, meaning, one does not hear them thinking. This has a quality of flow to it, such a mastery, I would suppose, is similar in athletics. If someone mastered their words, the same would happen, meaning, one would restore a direct seeing, and voice what was real, without hearing the weight of thinking. It is in a way, as I surmise in this moment,  like using words to describe this world, this living reality, the one in plain sight.  It would be communicating with and as this actual, real, tangible physical world surrounding us, the one producing the air we breath.  In this, words are of course, not that thing they describe, I want to say, in some ways they are a movement of conception, or a fine tuning.  Humans must master the very sounds as words we speak.  I mean, listen to the birds, they appear to me, to be so specific in what they sound.  Is speaking in clarity absent of any forcing, and present in what is a more stable, and eternal, focused sound? Is it more of a playfulness? Need one exist as fear within this state of musing?  Should one not speak for attention and more for bringing forth the beauty of clarity? When one has the opportunity to hear a musician that has mastered an instrument to such a degree that there is no thinking being heard, it is a pleasure, as it is so in tune, so present, it catches all one’s attention, and yet it does not demand attention.  It is also, from my humble experience, a state of greater ease,  because humans are anxious when they are uncertain, and happy when they are present, focused and balanced. Balanced with and towards what? The physical, the living reality in plain sight. 

Thank you for reading! 

Day 648 It is time to come home.

If I can only focus on one thing at a time, then the small is here right in front of me for me to use to direct myself in ways that do no harm. I have to feel here, the space around me, just as a young baby does, sensing the space as that arm begins to move from it’s side to an object hanging above.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with someone and I started to argue the limitations, instead of taking the small, as the words of and as the physical objects used to tag values onto , creating a story. By this I mean I reacted to the ideas and argued about the ideas, instead of looking at the objects used to back the ideas, and grounding these little things into a practice of living in common sense of the physical.

Within this, in the next moment, as I had slowed down, in response to the previous moment, and breathed, calming myself until I breathed with ease, I let the previous moment go and focused on what was in front of me in practical terms, telling myself that the previous moment was no longer here, and that I could assess and self correct.  In some ways , at the moment, I begin to realize that conceptually, I move in a very sluggish way, and it is here that I lose what may be an ease that has a quality of being fluid, able to assess and address in ways that allow a constant that is stable, and it is remaining within the small, that I can critique and create, as this is how one stands equal and one to creation, as this is how one can move through the eye of the needle. If I rush, as idea, as wanting to impose a picture of belief onto reality around me, I get bigger as my idea, I rush forward with this, and it does not fit, and it causes more conflict , even if some parts are correct, and I get so busy ‘ creating as mind consciousness ‘ only that I lose a sense of physical reality, and the communication with it, that I can no longer fit through the eye of the needle - so to speak.

I can only move with the small, taking the small physical means of life information, and grounding them here, within the practice of how we really live on a physical world that is life information. The physical is really ‘ the higher mind’ as it is what manifests, what forms into living. What uses the physical to build self definitions is what imposes an energy spin onto the physical, sucking from it, destroying it back into nothingness, because what does not support the physical is not small enough to create with- so to speak. Our money system is the model of this inner self interested action without, as it supports the self interest of a few, allowing control from an e-go of separation into ideas, beliefs and opinions that have lost all sense of the small as the means of creation, thus those who are caught in this,  reveal to us what we are allowing ourselves because we participate in this. Here, as mind consciousness only as ideas, beliefs and opinions, as ego,  we are not equal to life, to the small, to the means of physical creation that is life information. And our physical bodies show the degree of separation we have accepted in a loss of our spatial sense that is so alive at birth. Just watch a baby, they are building in into this awareness. This begs the question, “ Is all that information constantly touted through media developing this spatial awareness being built, as a natural act, or is it informing in ways that build a separation from what is real and right in front of us? Who profits from this? No one.

I mean, how does a dancer become a dancer? They ‘ program’ themselves to move their bodies and this information through physical actions that then becomes what directs their flesh with ease and of which can become automated if we do not understand how this works, and as that automation only, over time, lose ourselves to our own creation, leading to a breaking down of our creation as our programmed directives. And/or as we self aggrandize our own self development, becoming that self interested self aggrandizing spinning around as idea, belief and opinion in our picture show minds- or a ‘ good’ programming - instead of enjoying how we can create ourselves, and how this works, and is the means to express ourselves as life.

I may, bring myself back into the physical, forgive what has accumulated, ground it back into the practice of living, taking the small as I can only be in one moment at a time, and directing myself within this understanding to build self trust as what and who I am as life as a physical state of being. The physical can be what helps me to see where I am not equal to creation, and also, be the means of creating, this is the gift of life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the rush of the mind as idea, belief and opinion.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, within this, believe that something, that sum thing as an accumulation as ideas, beliefs and opinions as value judgements can be lost- when in essence that ideological mental picture show is just this, a televised picture show and not myself as life equal to the means of life as the physical, as not myself being focused in equality and oneness with the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to use the small, as what I can focus on in common sense of and as the physical, to ground this here, in and as the real practice of living, where the starting point is the same as the ending point, in and as being equal and one , as being in common sense of the physical, grounded, calm, serene, at ease, being in joy equal and one with creation here, this that is the small creating the means of life in expression here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how this works and to have believed ideas, beliefs and opinions as a mind consciousness only, in separation from real living,  a default system of self validating in self interest, making this  self created and self allowed in-position as imagination/fantasy/ self definition larger than the life that is the gift of expression as who and what I am as a physical beingness here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand in and with every breath, to slow way down, to see realize and understand real living here, becoming into being equal and one with and as life as the physical here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not use the physical reality in conversations as how things work, and to ground using the small, as a thought as what I bring forward as communication, as how men speak, to see the small, as this is what is right in front of me in the moment,  and to, as one and the same, create with the small, in respect of all life as the physical, to become fluid with creation here.

When and as I become confused, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that I am sorting through a fantasy, an imaginative idea/belief/opinion, creating a conflict that has the nature of confusion that is a separation from practical common sense of the physical, the physical being the means of life in expression, the real ‘ higher mind’ as what builds an information that does no harm, that takes that which respects all life, where life is the value, and the physical being the means of life.

When and as I find myself feeling loopy, I stop, I breath, I slow myself down, and I bring myself here, grounding myself in the physical, using a common sense of the physical, taking the small and creating with it, within the principle of considering all things, and taking that which is good and does no harm, doing as I would want for myself, focusing here, building a self trust, that is fluid, and moves with ease, realizing and accepting the creator that is me as life as the physical, and the physical world around me, and at the moment, the separations that are a storm of not being equal and one with and as the physical world here as a mind consciousness only.

I commit myself to slowing down, to seeing the ghost in the machine of and as the physical body that is me here, and I breath, and I assess the small, focusing on what is real as the physical, as the practice of living on a physical planet here, to respect and care for life, as life is the value, as beingness in expression, equal and one to and with creation as the physical, here.

Within this, I slow myself down and see realize and understand where I have allowed myself to become automated within a personality of values I believe define me,  and I journey myself through being present here, as in respecting the life around me that is physical, until I am present here, equal and one with life, being thankful, humble/small and gracious to and towards the physical world around me, as this is me, equal and one, as life in expression.

I commit myself to realizing, seeing and understanding information flow within and as the mind, a reference of information as mind, collecting into an emotional feeling body, sporadic, uneasy, lacking constancy, bypassing the heart, of and as me, and I stop, I breath, I slow down, and then I breath, and I slow down some more, until I am calm, serene, silent,  and I remember myself to the physical taking the words that show the physical world and equalizing them to common sense of the practice of living on a physical planet, and here, I use my heart, to become one and equal to the hearth, this earth, to sense the space around me, and I assess in every moment, using the small, to realize here-ness, bringing what I hear, here, and grounding this into the practice of and as how the physical functions, in ways that do no harm, and take that which is good. 

Within this, I see realize and understand that all emotion and feeling, cannot touch the sensory skill of the heart, the sensory skill of the hearth of life as this earth, this physical world that is the means of expression of and as life and that understanding how this works brings great joy, as it is what lives equality and oneness to and as life here to be and become an expression of life as life was meant to be here as this is the acceptance of being the creators we were meant to be.