Day131 There is no ascension, there is simply HERE

Day 131

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think that there is something out there that is going to come and take care of me, like a god, or a higher force, or some ascension is going to take place where I will sit next to some higher being and become aware of the universe.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is some authority over myself that I must follow.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not have seen , realized and understood that one day when I was desperately trying to figure out what the fuck was happening to my husband, as I stood in the hall way of my apartment, that I suddenly realized that we/I created this world, that I /we were the creators of this world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that though I had a moment of seeing that we/you/I are the creators of this world, I did not have an understanding of what I was in totality and thus did not know the details of how I was constructed as an organic robot and how this would take over, as it did from that moment of insight.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that this must have triggered something, because even as I became very angry after the death of my husband, as I became a single mom, where a superintendent blocked a job offer because he turned to the principle and said, you cannot hire this woman because she is a single mom, that I had no idea how judgmental society was based on face value, where a person is not looked at, and thus how this can cause people within our world who have no chance of education to become criminals, as they really have no other choice, and within this, given that prisons are now profit based with such companies actually listing profits for share holders, this present system of capitalism needs prisoners to pay the pensions of others, thus it is profitable to have criminals to put in prison, thus it is profitable to actually withhold education and development for humans, which is so criminal, that anyone who does not see that the only choice is to create a system of equality is in fact evil, as the representation of money to distribute freely given resources of this earth, in and as the equal money system gift what is the value, life, as denial of this is to allow abusive practices to continue that obviously do not support the expression of life, as this is the value, as this is what we all are, equal and one.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that sibling rivalry is based on fear of being considered less than, fear of not getting attention and accolade from parents, as children are enmeshed in a very small hierarchy within a system of inequality, where parents are themselves only considering money to survive and later, as they grow older start to look to god, within some kind of repentance, one addiction for another, even mapped out as what happens often with elderly people, and to return to where i started- that as a small child, what is presented is a hierarchy of attending to what supports this system, to attending to being seen as good in the eyes of parents with cultural values of more than and less than that are in and as themselves in separation from what is the value, as the value is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the only ascension is to create equality on this earth, to realize that life is the value.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to have realized that in common sense, being taught to seek praise from a parent is in itself not a being learning to self direct, in and as awareness of what is here, where if this were the case, then sibling rivalry would not exist.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that if the value were life, then there would be no judgements, as objectification into and as an idea such as single woman/mom, with negative and or positive connotations, which are polarities, would not exist and what would be seen is a being, an expression of life, and this is common sense, and we have been told this, in and as the words of Christ, as understanding what is a living word, as the word is as precious as any and all forms of life here, where the value is life, and as such must be supported equally, as what is real and equal in all is that we are all life.

I commit myself to no longer  exist in judging those who judge, and to simply walk in common sense, realizing the living word as being what is that which is best for all.

I commit myself to not answering to any emotional storm until I have brought myself back to breath, to becoming one and equal to breath, to taking in the morality story of separation from what is best for all and directing the mind of thoughts, emotions and feelings, to realize that such exists as separation from what is best for all, as self interest within a consumerist, capitalistic system composed of a centralized authority that now allows prisons to become profitable entities is in fact the same without as the human is within, as what is feared is self as life, as self abdicates self in self interested salvation without considering all life, as what is here, being equal and one to self, where life is the value.

I commit myself to realizing, in common sense , that anything within this system that is not supporting the development of life, where prisons indicate that life is not being supported, mean that the system must change, where any one saying, this is the best we have, or this is the way it is, are in fact criminal statements within ignorance  as fear of standing up as life, as self, thus these are statements of cowards who have justified their cowardice with statements of futility in and as fear, where it is the self that is not walking through the fear, as each and every one must walk through fear, to see, realize and understand that fear is the separation and as the non looking of self as life at what is real, here, life. It is that simple.

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Day 119 The solution is an Equal Money System

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that there is some one person, some god, some”entity” out there some where that is going to come and solve all my problems which are actually just self inflicted and imposed through the acceptance and allowance of a debt based system where money is given value as what determines who lives and who dies by the hands of a few.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that the present system exists through the acceptance and allowance of the collective, where responsibility has been given to systems that are controlled by a few, as this has been accepted and allowed by the collective, and thus I as myself have no awareness of what and who I am, as I have allowed myself to be indebted through money printed by a few at their own discretion, where the amount of money within the system can be pulled out to force loss and thus gain for the few, where the desire for control by the few characters whose character is a desire for power and power alone and thus can no longer see, realize and understand that the value is life, as they are possessed and obsessed with power.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that interest lending is a game of monopoly, where the outcome is as the name suggests, the mono against the poly, where the end game is for the mono to force their means and ways of control as a sport in and as a belief that they must compete for power, to become more than another, when the real “more “ is the value of life as what is real and equal in each and every one of us, within this, this real value that is life, the earth provides and gives freely as this earth is the gift of life and thus exists without signature of ownership, as what is value is life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in creating a system of economic enslavement, as debt, controlled by a few, the same few who sign their names to what is here - an illusion we all accept and allow- the collective are allowing and accepting a monopoly where the mono/few will direct the poly/many and thus will I have abdicated my self as life to the one, and not realized the gift of life as myself as life here, one and equal to all that exists.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that the gift of life is here in and as the physical, the substance of life, giving myself the ability to realize myself as life, as being one and equal to all that is here, where there is no ascension coming to some other planet, no rescuing angel coming to take me away to some supposed greater existence, as what is real is life, here in and as the physical world here, a gift, as the value as what is real, where the only real supposed “ascension” is to become life, right here, in realizing that I am a being in a human physical body, a tool to realize myself as life, this gift given in and as this physical world, as I am a creator as life, yet I have handed this over in and as an abdication of myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my self as the mind is my separation and my fear in standing up and taking responsibility as my self as life, the gift that need not be feared as it is life, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the system of debt is what I have done within and as myself as life, where I have given myself over to a directive, a shadow, an image, an idea that is self created, that is a reflection of my fear where I allow and exist indentured to a secondary directive instead of being one and equal to myself as life here, as this is what I am, as this is what supports all, as what is here cannot exist without itself as life, thus I am abdicating myself as life, and allowing and accepting a system of more than and less than, in and as money, as I have allowed myself to judge myself as being more than and less than in abdicating myself as life, as what is the substance of myself here.

I forgive myself for not seeing, realizing and understanding, through breathing, to stop within and as myself and to see how the mind is like a spinning picture/feeling/recording movie/book of images and past memories of what I have judged as not one and equal to me as life here, not realizing that what I am as mind, as this spinning halo of stories, is my separation and thus un-acceptance of myself as life, myself denying myself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in common sense life would gift life, as that is the value.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I as the human have accepted and allowed the abuse that exists to animal, plant and earth as I can no longer sense the life that is here, as all I have become is a broken record of my fears in abdication of myself as life, in and as what the mind consists and exists as through the projection of thoughts, emotions and feelings, where i have not actually stopped and looked in common sense of what is physically here and have instead allowed and accepted systems to define myself here, and the definition as what is on this earth is unacceptable, as all it is is the very manifestation of the human abdicating itself as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all the me=more-ies are myself wanting to be more, wanting to actually be life, yet I have allowed myself to be directed through separation and not realize that I am life and thus I am able to be self directed in and as, one and equal to, this physical world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I have lost my ability to actually see, realize and understand this physical world and only exist in and as fear for my own survival where I am accepting and allowing a system that cares only for profit and not life, in and as money determining who lives and who dies.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that there are many people standing up and realizing this system of inequality, and enslavement, there are soldiers who will not shoot, the are health practitioners who realize that vaccines are in fact not about health, there are ex money traders where I live who have personally told me that the money system was all about making as much money as possible without any consideration for life, there are local fire departments sending out letters asking for a fireman;s relief fund where it is not realized that in sending out letters to the people, they are in fact stating that the systems that exist are not supporting life, yet what is believed within this is that this entity as the fireman, must just support themselves, not realizing and understanding, standing back and looking at the whole, and asking the question as to why they must ask the people outside of the system for financial support as being a clear indication that this system is in fact NOT supporting life, where even the firemen realize that a widow of a fireman lost in a fire, is in fact life an therefor needs to be supported, where the solution is to stand for a system that in fact takes what is here, and organizes it to be what it is, life supporting life and not something that can be owned by a few to make themselves me-more-I-es, an illusion that is in separation from what is one and equal within and as all of us here, as life , the value.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that stepping out of my accepted and allowed thought structures will cause a sense of fear, as I deconstruct the limitations as what I have accepted and allowed to be what is real, that this will seem like I am falling and thus I will react in fear, will have a feeling - which I will believe to be real- that something about changing myself is somehow “not right” when all it is is that I am having to reconstruct myself and consider my own accepted and allowed  beliefs, opinions and ideas, where I was taught these  ideas, beliefs and opinions by those who came before me, those who also grew up within a system of inequality and self abdication in and as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when I am in fear, I am within friction in and as my human physical body, as this is myself in separation of myself as life, as separation from life would create a feeling of friction, as separation, as it is not whole, as self as life is one and equal to what it is that is the substance of what is here that is the support as what we are in fact, life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the common sense of this.

I commit myself to breathing, to seeing, realizing and understanding that I am life, and my mind , as the memories in and as my past were developed as what i am, as images, within a system of inequality to life, and thus I have never known myself as life, yet I can see that something has been lost as I age and find it harder to remember things, harder to move my human physical body, as what I have accepted and allowed as the personality and character in and as myself is my survival suit within a system that does not develop myself as life, one and equal as what I am in fact, thus must I decompose what I have accepted and allowed and reform myself as what I am, one and equal to myself as this human physical body, bring myself back from all the separated parts as myself as character and realign myself to what is real, this physical world which is life, where the opposite of ascension - so to speak - must take place, I must descend back into the physical to birth myself as life, to accept this gift of life, this physical world, the one thing being controlled is the thing that is what is real, that is the value, that is life, that is the gift, here.

I commit myself to realizing myself here as life, to bring myself back to what is real, this physical world, and to realize that there is no ascension, that the gift is here, right in front of me, where a system of inequality would promote an idea that life is somewhere else, as this allows control and that will create a separation and thus a mono and a poly, where a few have comfort and the poly struggle to survive.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that the entertainment presented by the mono is not interested in myself discovering myself as life, even though it is obvious as nothing cannot exist without life and that what entertainment shows is what I am accepting and allowing myself to spin around within and as , as the very separations I accept and allow, as though I am trying to validate my own separations, and as they are not real, I need a constant “fix” of them to keep them going and thus I am never at ease, one and equal as myself here, as what i am which is life.

I commit myself to realizing that the health care system is not about health, as this would end the game of the mono and the poly.

I commit myself to realizing that the present education system is not about developing awareness of this physical world as this would end the game of the mono and the poly.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that small collectives of like activity, such as the fireman’s relief fund, though supportive of life, will not end and solve the problems of no support, as they are not standing up and looking at the totality of the system and the nature of the system of debt and economic slavery ( this that needs those to fall off the board to maintain a fear of loss to keep the rest from changing) and realize that it is this system of money that is what does not support life here and thus must be what is changed, and that sending out letters begging for support is in the interest of a select few and will not solve the problem, and does not consider others who are in similar situations where they have no support, thus to ask the individuals within the community for support as a small entity, is not supportive of life and will not change what needs to be changed which is this system in totality.

I commit myself to supporting a change to a system of equality, as an equal money system, where no letters need to be sent out begging for money for survival on and earth of plenty, as an Equal Money System.

Equal Money System stand up and vote and support life as this is the value