Day 139 Is life expression moving?

Day 140 Is life expression moving?

Money moves things around in this world, things. But what moves life expression? Would not expression as life, flow in moving around, as forgiving of itself as itself? With money being what is moving around, and a lot of it debt, meaning not even real, it is actually a mirror of what actually exists here on earth within this system of inequality called capitalism, or any centralized regime that has existed that has not supported life equally. There is not much expression going on if 22,000 children a day are dying of starvation, and 2/3 of the world is either busy dying or struggling to survive, not having clean sustaining basic needs, their bodies building a debt, as a lack, of what is needed to be an expression in full potential as life, as what the human is in fact. Like this earth is a canvas, and the picture created within it needs some serious development and direction.

But this is just it, there is no ability for direction, because a lack of respect and support for life, for the very substance that is what we are all, that which is not what is flowing and moving and expressing.

I look at the words I use, and I realize, within each day, the words I use are what I have encountered within my environment recently, so much of a robot, reflection of my world am I, as what is expressed around me then begins to move through me. I am a product of my environment. And I was lead to believe I was unique and special, when I am not, I am just a broadcast mechanism of my environment. And this environment is not broadcasting anything of real value as life, it is looking for something to hold onto, as objects and paper, and not what is the substance that is the paper. An image, as idea, opinion and belief, turned into want, need and desire, secondary, removed, leading, diminishing potential, ignoring what is the value, life.  It really is not something that can be held onto, thus it is like a nothing, and this nothing has to move, to flow. But this expression is dissipated, evaporating instead of rejuvenating itself and moving itself as life, through what is here as earth, giving itself as life expression.

The human is enslaved to characters and personas taught, propagated within a system of inequality, profit, consumerism, that has no interest in life, as this would mean equality as life, where each would realize self value as life. The mind is a reflection of separation, which is self allowed and thus a part of self in pieces that must be brought back , the separations forgiven. All an illusion of fear.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear not being able to pull this life substance as self together and to stand and direct and become one and equal to life substance here, to realize that I am just a vessel expressing life here, that all these thoughts, emotions and feelings are simply recordings, re cordings, re cord rings of what the fuck is here, as seen in my words, as i have noticed that I tend to reiterate the words I have heard from my environment around me, thus I am the reflection of what is here, and not some individual being, as in being special, I am life here one and equal to what is here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that all I can do is practice becoming one and equal to myself as life here, to stop all these thoughts, emotions and feelings, this picture show of no real value what so ever, as it is only memories of what i have seen here of this world, related to propagated values that do not, and will not consider the value that is here,  that which is absolute and equal in all that exists, which is self being life, expressing life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that my thoughts, emotions and feelings have nothing to do with life, they are the divisions created, impressed upon, by a society of more than and less than, a pyramid with a weighted scale atop, creating enslavement, friction and conflict within separation of self as life and thus and not allowing life and within this diminishing potential.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this weighted scale is the burden of our separation, unnecessary and abusive, and thus must we, the human, stand up and create a system that supports life as the value, using money within an already existent structure to support all life, as there is no life until all and everything on this planet is in fact an expression of itself as life, self directing, self sustaining.

I forgive myself for not taking this will of life, that I have suppressed and stopping all thoughts, bringing the pieces of myself back together again, through self forgiveness, corrective application and breathing, taking myself as life back into me as life, and expressing myself as equal and one to what is real, to create a world that is best for all, as self being forgiving of myself as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that a fear of loss, is myself allowing loss.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that as life, I have abdicated my own autonomous generation of what I am as life substance, respecting my human physical body, and the sound as life as what i am in and as, within and without, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that what is being lost within our children is simply themselves as life, without all the impressions taught through parents, society and education, that teach children to consume what serves the division of earth’s resources in self interest of a few who have control of what is actually freely given, creating a society of slaves, where even the wealthy are enslaved.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the mind is a recording device and will mimic what is placed before it, thus the potential within children/humans to learn to self direct is taught to follow the whims and greed of those in control, themselves following whims and greed, creating a system of survival instead of a system of  developing what is the value, life.

I commit myself to realizing that anything in and as my mind is showing myself my own accepted and allowed separations.

I commit myself to realizing that when I allow myself as mind, as the images to be the directive of myself, based on the values in separation from life as what is broadcast on this earth to serve a system of inequality, I stop and I breath, and I bring myself back to myself, and I do not allow myself to follow what is my mind, realizing that it is what i have accepted and allowed, as me, to no longer allow this to separate myself from what is actually physically here.

I commit myself to no longer fearing looking at what is actually physically here, to have the courage to stand as myself, as fear is an illusion, thus it is only the illusion as the separations of the mind that stop the expression of myself as life.

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Day 113 Be Ur Den, the wellspring of belief

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge organizing this house as being difficult and too much work for a woman alone to be doing.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I had to move twice in Europe and both times, I did a lot of this myself as within this I felt that I was alone, all by myself and thus not being helped by anyone where I was full of self pity because I believed that someone should help me, and then I thought I was a good character because I was capable of doing this all by myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think I am a good character, a good wife because I had managed to organize a move all by myself without any help.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am the good strong independent woman because I am getting myself in order to move all by myself without any help.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this belief that I am good because I am moving all by myself without help, I am actually creating the opposite character of self pity within believing myself to be all alone, where there is the opposite belief that I am alone and having to do all of this all by myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this “good character “ as the independent woman, I am not here being practical with what is simply going on, that a house needs to be packed up, cleaned up, organized and then moved, and that is all, there need be no judgement as what I am within the process of moving.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the extent in which I am conditioned to believe that moving from a house should have the presence of a man to help with the move, where, yes this should shorten the process, yet in the end the same actions must be taken, and thus it makes no difference whether it is one alone or two, moving is still the same.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must fit some image to exist here, otherwise there is something “wrong” with me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am existing as a play of characters, as the devil and the angel on my shoulder, enacting both sides of the belief in and as my mind, as judgement, where I was not taught to self direct in common sense, but was told a story - filled/developed with images- as to what should be and what should not be as a picture, and not the practical application of myself here in and as this physical world and what it means to be here in common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow these competing characters to judge one another as who I am within the moment of allowing the mind to place a story based on limited and accepted relationships of what life should be, this “should” in itself a separation from life here, as the image and likeness of what a woman or a man should or should not be instead of what is physically actually, practically here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that in being a desire I am separate from what is physically, practically here in common sense, as a desire indicates that something is wanted and thus that something is missing, when in fact life is here, a physical world that has no stamp of ownership, and it is only the ideas, beliefs and opinions as criticism of what is lacking or needed or not doable that are the separations from what is here, creating a belief that something is desired, when were we to live in common sense in and as respect and consideration for what is, is physically here, able to provide for all life, as all that is here is life, then there would be no desires, no wants, no needs as all that is here would be interacting and expanding and sharing and learning how and what we are as the substance of life as what we are all one and equal to, thus would this world be an expression in and as awareness and expansion within this, self directed, self honest, giving as one would like to receive as this is the value, yet we have become characters incessantly polishing our images based on limited ideas, beliefs and opinions, propagated by our own fear of self honesty manifest as a system of inequality , held together by images as memories in abdication of life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am allowing and accepting myself to judge myself based on values given to the image of what I am within a system of division, as a female.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as a desire in and as my mind to have someone to hold my hand and validate my actions.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am creating a play out of characters based on beliefs and opinions in separation from physical actual life, causing self judgement, self pity, allowing myself to carry around a burden , the be-ur den of what was believed by the den, as mind, of my parents and those who are the well spring of what dictates I accept and allow in and as my mind here.

I commit myself to breathing here, without rushing and judging myself for what has been done, or not done, and how this is done, and instead simply walk what needs to be done, getting things done every day until it is done.

I commit myself to stopping the characters of the mind from weaving endless polarities of judgement based on an image as the divisions of men bordered in by belief, opinion and idea in separation from life here, from what is actually physically here in common sense.

I commit myself to breathing and enjoying what is here, as what is here is one and equal to me, and thus within this principle of oneness and equality I move as myself as life, communicating with what is here as being one and equal to me.

I commit myself to realizing that I can only practically walk what is right here in front of me, and that what is right here in front of me, as me, as this physical world communicates with me in common sense, it is only myself as mind that divides within borders of belief as knowledge and information.

I commit myself to realizing that many are walking in and as the outplay of the voices in their heads not realizing their own separations and thus are unable to see what is physically real here, and are caught up in feeding the act of polishing their characters within fear of survival in and as a belief in lack, in fear of facing what has been accepted and allowed my man, as this would mean stepping out of complacency, as what exists on this earth within competition, ownership, survival, profit instead of the principle of oneness and equality, communing with and as life, as what we are.

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Day 103 The avalanche of characters falling around me as I have decided to move

Day 103  The avalanche of characters falling around me as I have decided to move

In deciding to move from where I live, I have had so many thoughts projected towards me as belief, idea and opinion. It is as though moving from my isolated existence on the near end of a peninsula that is about three miles wide means I am going into hell.  I am even told that I will be back.

What others experience is not too different than what I experience. I have had all manner of emotional and feeling reactions; fear of change, fear of entering into some barbaric distant land, fear of being alone in some barbaric distant land, fear of loss of friends - being known locally etc.

When I respond to a character as the expression of another with same or similar fears as my own, I sometimes notice I become a similar expression, in and as a personality, as my mother and my sisters, and also a memory from my past - when I was in high school.

 It is this stance of “stating my case” as my care actor of belief, opinion and idea, being authoritarian within my statements, where I am the “professional authority” as manner on the subject within which I am speaking. I am being defensive, building my case/fence to protect myself, to project myself, which indicates fear, as in fact I am life here, on a planet that gives freely - that is understood and known how to be used to support what is here- thus this care actor of belief, opinion and idea, can only be the development of an existential expression as fear as characters are like lawyers stating a selection of supposed facts to win a case of one character’s acts of care as being justified. The characters compose, pulling the most heart strings that generate pity and gather the sheeple within their fences, are the ones that win. the sheeple trained to be lead by owned desires of righteous fixations.

Within this all opinions, ideas and beliefs within a state of needing to be used as ammunition are one and the same to any form of war on this earth. The projectile of my character is just as detrimental as the projectile missile as it is in support of my own defenses in fear of survival, my money persona, my care actor of money, my personality projectile in separation from being here , one and equal to this physical world, where I consider this world as me, as this is what supports me here, this that some bank believes it can enslave me to through debt where I am fenced within what is best for the few and not what is best for all as life, here.

So, my  “Professor” of my own Lawyer personality/character is my separation, a reflection answering to beliefs, opinions and ideas taught to uphold a soul of money instead of the very substance of what is here as life that is this physical world, which I am one and equal to as I am composed of this, and the soul of money as my character being the separation taught to participate in the game of monopoly known as capitalism/communism.socialism/centralized dictates supporting self interest of a few so busy authoring the aggrandizement of self interest in liu of sharing best practices to the point where best practices are suppressed - as what is best for all allows life, allow self autonomy, where being self responsible and self honest is punished as this is the greatest threat to the status quo of the soul of money reigning on this freely giving earth.

Thus when I accept and allow my self to become a projectile of character, I continue this reign of acid on a freely giving earth, in abdication of self responsibility and self honesty as my self as life in and as the consideration of all that is here as myself, one and equal, as speaking within what is best for all, as moving myself as a living word,  myself in union with the sound of a freely giving - forgiving earth- that which is here. In supporting this tapestry of a soul of money that has taught the characters of defense as the persona of missiles I have allowed and accepted, I am in support of a system that does not care for, consider, respect what is actually real, this physical world. As I project in support of this system, I become the missile I project, an outcome of being shattered into a million pieces not only destroying myself but this earth, this heart of life, given unconditionally to allow the expression of life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to speak in the manner of a “professional law layer” building a defense for the case of my character, a collection of beliefs and opinions and ideas in support of what will enable myself to survive within the soul of money that is the support and interest of a few in separation from what is a freely giving resource as the gift of expressing life that is earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that allowing myself to express within a manner of authority, where I constrict my human physical body in preparation to shoot words to protect my status within a system of inequality is myself in support of inequality and thus myself in support of my own separation from myself as life, that which is the composition of what allows this earth and myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my perceptions as what I have been taught are to uphold and protect the soul of money as the system that has been accepted and allowed on this earth in separation from respect and care for all that is of this earth as being life one and equal to each and every person/thing/plant/animal that is the composition of what is here as life on this earth.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that when the outer world does not reflect my character built to survive within a system of inequality as the soul of money, I am caught up in the game of survival.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that I have been programmed to support this soul of money, either through behaviors of protection for what I have, or the behavior of ignoring those that are not cared for, or the behavior of blaming what exists on the behaviors of others lost in survival mode, governing, or passing the money onto the governors as this is how they survive themselves, a perpetual flow of money as what is the blood of support, in separation from what is real, this physical world, that has no stamp of ownership but what we as humans have accepted and allowed, where our accepted and allowed stamp of ownership is not in order as many are starving, many animals are suffering beyond measure, and much of the resources of this earth are being used in such ways as to poison the earth from which they are pulled, all in separation from a respect for life and within this lack of respect, an obvious lack of awareness of what is real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the loss of myself as the habituated character that allows the reign of a system that supports a heartless soul on money.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize in every moment of breath, that all there is, is oneness and equality to myself as life as the very substance that is of this earth, that which is my mother and my father, a real “god” of support.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the character of a lawyer, mimicking the behaviors as personifications of characters in maintaining the soul of control of life into dominions that support a god of greed and lust, of disregard and abuse, in separation from what is actually physically real here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to cling to memories as the false domains I have accepted and allowed to be the expression of myself as life here, where I believe that old age is myself sitting; wallowing in the projections of my past as memories not seeing, realizing and understanding that these are the consumption of myself as life within a false idol, the bread of separation and the existence of myself in support of self interested comfort of no regard for what exists as this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate from what is actually physically here, developing and moving in and as common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand , when I become the voice of the projector of self defense missiles as characters of knowledge and information that is non inclusive of all life, inconsiderate of earth,  and based on conditions in accordance with accepted and allowed beliefs, opinions and ideas to a soul of money masking as a god of faith, and an illusion of hope to reach the top of a tower known as Babel.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not breath here, in every moment and to simply say stop, to all thoughts as images, based on past events and the manners of those who came before me, that are the imprints in support of a soul-less imaginary, invisible hand god used to control and allow a few to pull the triggers and levers behind a curtain of media and advertising, education and distribution of freely given resource.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not  realize my breath here, and to breath through each and every image in separation from life as the collection of my past as this as director of myself is my particulars of perception in separation as value judgements in accord with inequality from myself as life here.

I commit myself to breathing.

I commit myself to stopping the characters as the manners as the beliefs, opinions and ideas, as imprinted knowledge and information in separation from what is actually physically here, the projectiles of support for a soul of money that places a belief of an invisible hand of self interest masked as divine interest in separation from what is common sense as what is real as what is physically here giving as one would like to receive, so apparent in that the natural world has never ever ever had any indication of ownership, as it is only the self interested signatures of men, who fear the loss of energetic highs of no substance in separation from self honesty, self responsibility as life, a heaven on earth existence as all as one as equal here.

I commit myself to realizing there is nothing to author, nothing to place a law around as my dominion, as what is here, is life, that which I am one and equal to and as, and thus a need to know the future is myself in separation and fear of self direction with this actual physical world, in common sense.

I commit myself to stopping this character  of stamping a moment with self interested acknowledgment as being an indicator that I am real, that I have value, that I am a good person because I am a participant, and within this  to stop myself as these separations and bring myself here to what can be the only thing that is in fact real, a common sense of this physical world as what is best for all is best for myself here.

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