Correcting cognitive dissonance A battle for the mind Day 764

The degree to which we resist to what is here, is equal to the degree in which we cling to storied information as idea, belief and opinion over practical reality.

What is practical reality but what gets things done, and mirrored in actions that work with form and function in ways that do no harm. Such means having a presence that is a focus on this reality, a physical one.

The sound that we make as the words we use, what we emit from our bodies as the instrument of the sound, either reflects presence and awareness, or the storied information of our desires wants and needs, meaning how much of this reality we ignore in the interests of what we believe will allow us to survive. Yet, we use this reality to survive, we cannot exist without it. To consider only our immediate survival without ensuring our actions care for ourselves, which is all things, is a punishment of the self. When we label an action and configure it with value judgements, to paint/sound a limited story we actually stagnate our presence into being separate, thereby making the picture of our belief larger than life and as such out of synch with this living reality.  Thus the busy-ness of chaos is done with limitation. It is a non-sustaining sound. With each spoken word that is not in consideration of all things, we diminish who and what we really are. In this all death of non-awareness is a form of suicide of the self. It is basically a math.

Not standing up to limited story, that is only a value made huge in self interest, as bringing forward a value as a quality as the nature of something is not necessarily a bad, as this is the self moving in a focus of what is here, to realize form and function, movement and expression of the physical reality.  Using label coupled with threat of being labeled as less, is a false morality.  The quality of separation is as the description suggests, it takes one’s focus away from the practical actions that respect who and what we are a physical states of being, as being would be. 

Inherent in my desire to be intellectual, manifest as wanting to collect information and knowledge is a truth as an understanding of realizing something must be known, understood, realized. REAL eyes. 

Placing myself into a consciousness of fixed knowledge and information, causes a separation from real focus on this practical living reality that is and must be physical, or formed, or manifest, or realized.

I think of all the karate movies, or stories about people who have mastered something, like having lessons with a master. They have no patience for excuse. They stand. I remember going to lessons and having a teacher simply say to me , ‘ Stop being weird.” One must get beyond the morality of being ‘ nice.’ It is really an illusion, it is to speak up about this reality in a steadfast way, even when emotional reactions scream their false reality.  People are ignorant but they are not stupid. Creating a mind consciousness of a conscious, sub conscious and unconscious mind and going to public school to practice for six hours a day being in the conscious mind only, is by design, accepted and allowed by the collective, the means of controlling information, and the movement into a suppression of one’s real capacity. After all, what is the main complaint about public schools that has been consistent since their onset? The loss of critical and creative thinking skill. Or the loss of presence in practical reality.  What do I hear from many employers? That this generation has little if no, practical skill.  That is being weird, because reality is right here in plain sight. 

If I were to say something like that, as has been said to me in lessons, and I started to cry, there should really be no sympathy beyond a certain point, because this is allowing the means of one’s loss of presence, as the only choice is to lend what brings one back to what is natural, as being present in this reality. the insights of being practical, removes the desire to cry, as a passive means of defense of one’s already accepted and allowed state of separation into a limited story of information that is in itself a self interest of idea, belief and opinion personified and made larger than reality. This is really what a master who accepts nothing other than what is presence in application is doing. They are accepting nothing other than real focus and presence in reality. Holding that is the only way to be. 

This is why depression is always a state of self interest, a state of not taking responsibility, a state of being dishonest. This is a state of not respecting life.  If this scares me, then I am in fear, and I am not present in this reality. 

Every word we speak reveals the degree to which we are being responsible as life, because we are only speaking what it is that is the focus of who and what we are, here. 

Why do I write these things out again and again and again? it is the work of, the play of, the process of and as re-scripting myself into realizing the patterns within, of self interest, of fear, and re-scripting myself equal and one to the real common sense of and as all of me, as who and what I am as a living being on a physical planet that is creation in expression, here. 

I become what I allow Day 757

Today I am going to look at self pity, that heavy and slow belief that one is not good enough.  It is composed of projecting an idea that one cannot do something. 

There are two points here as I see it, one is that one focuses on the lack, that something cannot be done, and another is that that focus denies one from problem solving. This means that one does not have enough information to walk what would be moving towards a goal that one has. 

Imagine if one is playing a piece of music, and does this. In this respect one simply stops playing, or gets lost if one is moving in a performance. One gets stuck. Obviously, one cannot go into self pity, because one cannot then focus on self pity and what one is doing. The self pity creates a lag that eventually catches up as it grows and takes the attention away, and then one gets lost. One is not focused on the real information.

I would want to hide this self pity. I would not want anyone to know. And, in this moment, I realize that when I expressed self pity, the outcome was usually not what removed the self pity. Looking at that self pity, and finding solution to remove it was the only way out. 

What self pity, the state of feeling sorry for one’s self, does is show us that we become what we allow. We become the math of what we allow within us. What we allow -as an idea, that is most likely one of resistance to more information - takes on a life of its own, it becomes a time-line of and as a conversation within, as a holding onto a belief. Just as a action or movement of being focused and moving in the presence of what is real and composed of as this physical world into consistent focus can build real understanding, This is understanding that is clear stable and able to be spoken about with clarity, A story line of self pity if not cleared becomes a series of movements directed by that self pity, which is a focus on a lack that perpetually seeks validation that never solves the problem and change of focus that would remove the self pity. One builds an entity in separation. One becomes an event horizon of movements in separation from being focused on reality. This leads to stagnation and behaviors of protecting that self pity, creating justifications for it. It has a sluggish processing quality to it as well.

In so many ways, this is why the physical, as the real and tangible world around us is a cool starting point, because it is what we all share that grounds us into what moves as creation, to realize what we allow within ourselves. It is to say that we need one another to have an equal starting point, which is why only allowing what does not harm is so important.

Also, what I notice, is that when one is in some emotional and feeling entity within as belief, there is this shakiness that actually does not feel like a constant, that does not feel stable. I ask myself what this is and realize that I can use this to understand what I am standing as, because what I have found is that this is a fear, it indicates where I am not at ease, where I am not being really focused on the practical to the point where I feel calm about looking at what is here and voicing my perspectives with ease, even if my insights in the moment are not what is best, I don’t worry about whether that insight is going to be accepted or not. Sometimes in such situations, I may bring an insight forward that is not ultimately accepted yet it triggers more insight leading to solutions. Also, I don’t always feel the need to input some perspective, which is okay too.  

That sense of shaking, is a cool red flag in what I am allowing within me. It is where I can slow down, realize any defense in the form of a thought of justification, or a physical resistance, and breath, check myself to see why I am not being stable, and at ease. It is where i can look to realize what i have allowed that has become a story within me, as a belief, and check what that movement is, as energy, indicating fear, indicating where I am not looking in practical presence of physical living, and remove a focus on a lack, and accept a focus on the practical reality. 

Thus, a un-quiet movement within myself, that can be sensed as a state of instability, is actually myself lacking being focused in and on reality. When I notice this, it means to slow down and look at what is practical. It means to slow down and look at what information I have allowed to define me, and to look at the means of the default overall ALSO being the means of the correction as taking the time to investigate what has caused this lack of focus and finding the means that direct this lack into greater certainty in action, and focus on that solution, Then it means to rescript that solution, to make it more real than the resonant story/voice/focus of insecurity.  I mean, this is the same action that one uses, as presence to move one’s self into greater understanding, it is how things are built. Nothing can direct one but what one accepts and allows. Thus each is responsible for what is within the self. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand any and all times I become a visibly sensorial presence of uncertainty within and as myself, that has the quality of a shaky feeling, a sense of a seemingly intangible vibration within me, and to not see, realize and understand that this is myself, as what i have accepted and allowed to define me, as a separation from being present and practical in this living reality, this physical reality, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is myself not being focused and present here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that within this I can recognize this, slow down, breath, call this out by name, and correct, which can be done by recognizing the name of the uncertainty causing me to shake, and finding the math, the word, the means of what focuses me here, in the practical, in the moment, of which, I have breath to allow me to remain present to see realize and understand what I am allowing within and as me, as this is understood as to how this all works, as allowing the fear to grow is the same that allows presence to remain here. 

When and as I find myself beginning to shake within and as me, I stop, I slow down and I breath, I stand firmly on the ground and focus here, not resisting what i have allowed, simply realizing it for what it is, and slowing down to be present in this reality as the physical, realizing that what I allow to exist is what I allow to build within me, that comes to define me, and to, within breath, to self correct through accepting the life that is me, one and the same, as the physical reality here. 

Looking within Felicity Day 745

I am looking at resistance, as resistance is fear. 

I remember sometimes in music, a phrase or form would appear to be unable-to-be-understood for me. The form would come and the math, the measure of it was like something distant from me. It was as though there was a veil inhibiting it from me- this little shape of sound before me graphed out. I had to slow down, alone, at home, by myself, and start to take it apart. It appeared to be this illusive ‘ thing’ that somehow I could not grasp. It begged the question as to why I could take in one little notated form and not another. It made no practical sense. 

The “ block’ could be called a resistance. Somehow, my own resonance was counter to the form, my own resonance was such that the math of me, the resonance of me, the values of me were creating a wall that separated me from the form before me. It was like too different currents were meeting one another.  This overall a ‘ red flag’ because I could not transpose myself, be flexible myself, and embrace the form. I was resonant with a formation that was holding itself to such a degree that I could not change and take in a varying form with the very substance that was me, as that means that could form into my resonance and the resonant form before me that I was having difficulty grasping.

Whose fault was this, was it the form, was it that I was ‘ something’ , a personality that had value, or as some say; ‘ Just the way I am?”  Or, “ this is my opinion, you must respect that?”  If I am resistant to something then I am not being the capacity to understand, as understanding another form, which is a combination of values made up of the ultimate value of what builds form overall,   how can I really understand perspective? If I cannot change and stand as a ‘ musical form’ or any form for that matter, realizing that I can understand for a moment, and yet change in the next, thus nothing can define me but what I allow as in time and space for something to be formed it must be stood as for a period of time.  If I look at what I am being that is unable to change then I have become a resonant thing and therefor lost a capacity to change, thus from a starting point of what I am as a human being, in relation to this, if I cannot change in relation to expressions as insights as perspectives towards another, for a moment, then I am in a form of a fixed state and therefor holding onto something that need not be held onto, to the extent that I can change and see another form, even if for a moment. I have lost flexibility. I have become stagnant. And this means overall, that I am responsible for what I am, and in the order of mastering myself, I must be able to realize and recognize when I am within a resistance, as I am in a lost state of embracing a form that I can accept and or move forward, as in taking what is good and does no harm. My resistance reveals my fear of change and my lost state of being in common sense, meaning to take something and understand it and then direct it effectively. 

Yesterday, I resisted something based on my own beliefs. I believed that something was too much. This based on past interactions. In a moment, I was faced with a response. The response was “ I had a difficult week.” I replied graciously and walked away. I did not allow the door to open, because I did not want to listen to the layers of justification. I had had to do this and allowed it to become too much. I feared that happening again. Overall, it was an opportunity to face the storm and practice sorting it out. As I drove away, I recognized this. The saving grace was that I so readily recognized this. Before it would have taken me more time. So, I tell myself, this in itself a good that can become a justification. All of this a sound wall. a math of values, resonant within me. I am a Humpty Dumpty.  Face it, move and get over it. We need to start admitting this to ourselves. Overall, there is nothing but resolution.  Living in fear and resistance is a drag, quite literally.  I for one have had it. Fuck you if you do not want to do the fucking math. It is right here in front of us, in plain sight. There is no escape. You are an organic robot. I mean, look at your words, your sound formations, are they filed with iconography that uses metaphor, or compound labels to zip file information where eveyone has to guess at what is meant? 

I have had people say to me, in relation to animals, that when an animal comes to ‘ visit’ as move outside of expected behaviors, that a past loved one has come to visit. This is a projection of an icon, as that person from that past visiting. What it can really signify is a characteristic of the self that the self is chasing, as the self has placed this value outside of the self because this is the self rejecting the self. This is the self chasing what the self gave up, and the means for the self to live without fear, without resistance and the cause of resistance. In the scream of the longing is the thing being missed, the thing given up. It is the signifier of the shattering of the self, into pieces, it is the beginning of the advent of a separation into fractionalized projected parts as ideas, beliefs, opinions. It is the smoke and mirrors show. It is the consciousness in separation from reality. In this instance, a person said to me that an animal came to them and that it was their friend they had lost. In reality, that friend was admired for a value the admirer lost within themselves, objectified outside of themselves. The animal that ostensibly came was the value the self rejected and longed for, hidden in a series of storied information placed into objects holding past projections. A huge parable. Looking at the smallest of parts can disperse the picture show. I want to say, what is constant within the show? Bring it back to self. Find the word. Realize the initial resistance. Would one agree that realizing what was lost is the means forward? Could one see the self hate is a form of self pity? Is this not manifest as an added color of longing? Could this not come as an answer to a question as “ I had a difficult week?” as the starting point of sorting out the projected and separated values ?  If I am capable of writing this here, am I not capable of facing the storm and living the joy of being present, sensing the small, within the greater inflation of resonant forms? Shame is not going to change this. Self hate and reprimand is more of the same. 

Today, I ask myself : " What is felicity?"

Memories are a resonant being . Day 743

Two memories have come up that I have looked at before. I notice that I also have back chat or “worst case scenario’  imagery coming up. The worst case scenario ‘ episodes’ are really random, using all manner of imagery. I have these come up in relation to driving because I have had two head-on collisions, that within the system, were not my fault. AND, they happened in a place where many such accidents happen. I remember that it was said that there can be places where there are cross currents, maybe this place is one of them.  For instance, I found out my orthodontist’s wife also had two accidents in the same place. The cars were destroyed, meaning they were so damaged to be tagged as unrepairable. I have fears around driving and they tend to come back when I am not addressing something; I can use them as a red flag.

I had lived in Europe for ten years. One summer, I returned to the states, as I had other summers too, yet never had that which I am going to describe, happen. On this eighth summer, I noticed that I was constantly stepping back from my American peers. Meaning, I would be standing and talking with them, and find myself taking a step back.  I also remember asking the question, “ why are ‘ you’ moving towards me so much?”  At the time, I remember looking at this, and also saying. “ Wow, I can see how other cultures label American’s as having a garish intense smile!” 

After spending seven years in Europe. a seven year cycle, my ‘ resonance’ as my state as a manner or stance, had changed. This fits in with how our cells cycle themselves, as in our cells carry the resonance of our ‘ math’, or the ‘ value’ system that defines us, holds us, is of how we are mannered within ourselves! This eighth summer, I was resonating my exposure, my environment, my newly cloaked ‘ color’ , all measurable in the distance I stood from another person, the amount of reserve or intensity -of-smile, or presentation of myself and how I held the very muscles of myself; ALL OF WHICH IS A “ MATH,”   had come to be a counter  or alternative rhythm, so to speak, to my American environment. 

What I find interesting, as telling of my stance on another level, is that I so readily moved to BLAME those around me, as though it was not me, it was them- the objects around me! Even within asking a question as, “ Why are my friends leaning into me so much,’ and ‘ Now, I know why other cultures make fun of the American way of being intense ( like a staccato-ed accent in music) with the manner of grinning from ear to ear- as though making a ‘ happiness’ stance more intense, by degree! Thus, I was projecting the ‘ difference’ as a ‘ wrong’ or uncomfortable thing being done unto me. 

What is also amazing is how my physical body reacted, with me doing the thinking after the fact. I only noticed it because I noticed my body reacting. This indicates, how much of a resonance stance I became, which is the same in all of us.  The very ‘ math’ of an in-culturated manner, representing value systems, had become me, which manifested the eighth year into my change into another environment. This corresponds to a cellular memory that then comes to direct my subtle movements physically. This memory has come up in tandem with a memory from childhood as of late. 

I had gone and walked up to my father and younger sister in this childhood memory. I had wanted attention, and as such surprised my father, who turned and knocked me over onto a tricycle. I have a scar from this, which at the moment, has some very dried skin on it.  In this memory, I remember being angry at my father, feeling hurt that I had been knocked onto the tricycle.  Even though, at the time, I got over this pretty fast, I do remember being so embarrassed that I was angry, and I blamed my father for suddenly turning and inadvertently knocking me over- as I am sure he did not want to do this and probably felt some degree of shame as well. Yet, this is my earliest memory of moving , or projecting blame. I was actually embarrased as I had only considered my own desire for attention- so my anger, was really my own shame, because I acted on an idea. I acted on some resonant desire, separating myself from my own common sense. The after stance, even with the anger, I was aware that I had moved in my own self interest- so absorbent am I as a human being. 

I wanted to take a deeper look at resistance. When I look at the resonant change within myself, after living for seven years in a different culture, how my immediate reaction was to project the change, or problem, being on those around me. It was an after thought to realize that I had become more of the subsequent different environment.  The resonant manner, embedded in the physical, was what showed me my own actions, my thoughts immediately moving to project a story, and as I said, that of blaming the objects until I with a secondary overview, began to sort this out.

I also remember saying something to my peers, that I could understand how other cultures labeled Americans in cartoons with aggrandized and plastered smiles. With some of my peers I met reaction. Meaning, with some I caused the same that I had been, a form of resistance and projection into justification instead of understanding. Some understood and even found it interesting. This is telling, because it is showing that the very act that I did, is deeply ingrained in our ‘ reading’ of actions- as manners are a form of action and expression of ..... our resonances, our beliefs, our value systems, our math, our way of reading relationships with regard to everything around us. We are truly organic robots. Which, on another level, is why the media is so successful, unless we view it with a critical and creative approach, understanding what I am saying here, overall. 

Thus, as I said, I have this back chat, with really random scenarios, coming up, and it is composed of this movement of projecting blame onto the objects around me. And yet, this other memory where I realized the very resonance of me, in seven years which matches cellular change, indicates that what I allow, as how I move, within the very smallest of measures, comes to be the information that directs my physical movements! This in tandem with this memory from childhood, and my scar, I can see where I, as far as I can remember, planted the first movement of blame, that even if I at that age, did not dwell on it for too long, it was that tiny movement that started a seed of projecting the problem of my own actions, outward onto the objects around me. 

Because, I have not cleared this ‘ resonance,’ as a formula, up, completely, in its inception, it continues to be how I move, in manner, or, in thought, word and deed. It could also be, that I am at a point of change, as a point of change also carries a quality of most resistance, as the old does not want to die. 

I want to also look at the practices in the school systems, and relate this to learning the violin. I had violin lessons for years, I would go and have the lesson, and have exercises to do at home, ALL BY MYSELF. I had to learn to walk those tiny movements, that practiced being in control of my body, and integrating a physical awareness of the space. This was a practice that no one could do for me, but myself. 

If I look at a school, it is like having a violin lesson, where a direction, or a practice is given, and practiced, or walked through a couple of times, yet cannot be that self, practicing that movement.  The self has to go and do the walking, the practice. The time and space in what a school is, cannot be that practice by the self. One is actually building what comes to direct the physical body, which says that what one allows, and what one practices, will come to resonate in the body and will move the body, thus one’s actions reveal one’s math/perspective/memorized -as-conditioned-blueprint-of-belief, or the order of relationships as how one sees the world.  

A school relates and teaches with example, using words and pictures, just as a violin teacher can model,( which is actually more direct) shows a form, movement included. If I do not practice that movement, and only do it based on that one time, trying to incorporate it from that one showing, I am going to cause a distraction in my presence as I interact with the world around me. I am going to slow down my processing when interacting with the whole, missing things, and causing imbalances, because I did not do that which only the self can do, which is integrate something new through the only way to integrate something new, which is to go and do the small, to practice it- as it takes both the exposure AND the detailed practice of the small, as this is how things are built. 

This is why, so many master’s of things, stress the importance of practicing the small. Meaning, to make sure that small is practiced, because the self must learn to self direct, in detail, all by themselves. This is something that no one can do for the self.  Another way to say this, is that the schools cannot be that practice for the child, and nor should they, as it is a valuable lesson for a child to realize that they build understanding, and that this takes practice, because it takes time for a correct movement, to be integrated into the cells, so that the body moves in effective ways, as what we practice ( or allow, follow without question)  becomes what directs us. Yes, it is that deep, and resistance towards acknowledging this is simply self rejecting and resisting how this all works. Resistance means, one must really look at one’s manner. In all, it does not matter who’s fault it is, if one wanted to take this stance because ultimately, what one has allowed, or been exposed to, resonates within, which no one, not any other person can change but the self. In my case, blame is not going to change this as being in a state of blame, as projecting something outward, is not a practice of looking at what I resonate and learning from it, and realizing that it is what it is, does not need to define me, and shows me where I am not being in understanding, as embracing what is here. In all, such actions, as what I have accepted to be the resonance of me, can show me relationships between things, as beliefs, and as movements that can understand and change in a moment, relax and move in ways that ask more open ended questions, for example.

In so many ways, I realize I have become a social engineering so prevalent in the idea of being ' positive' where I become the end game of sympathy, instead of including empathy; seeing what is being expressed as relationships, understanding how what we resonate is simply ideas about relationships, and to realize within this, that what is real, is myself being here, moving in real time here, because this is where I am, this is where I am living a real performance. I also realize how I can sense the smallest of movements, as the very subtle deeds I move as, within myself, as my resistances show my accepted and allowed practices, which are relationships I direct as belief, because I have not practiced being grounded here, in real time, seeing the real relationship that is here, as my living , and present relationship. My resonance can show me, where I am out of synch with reality. 

Another way to look is to realize what focal and vocal distractions as ideas, beliefs and opinions, resonant within, from past relationships, one is allowing to define who and what one is, and to realize the small movements that build the overall resonance, and the correct small movements that ground one back into being present in this reality. What the media and school systems show is, is a story of information, an equation of order, one that can come to define us, if we allow it. Also, that no one can clean up the resonance of what we have allowed, as believed, but the self. It does not matter if it is someone else's ‘ default system’ as one not understanding how this all works, because projecting onto the ‘ fault’ as a lack of understanding this, is not the action of correction. Only the self can do this, and since we are all doing this, there is only self forgiveness and self correction. That resonance can be read, one can learn to call the movements out by name, thereby taking away the power of the default, and reframing the movement, into respecting this reality, as there is only here, which is how it should be. Another way to say that, is to ask, what came first, the chicken or the egg? 

Thus, over all, I have to realize what I have mathematically accepted and allowed, as a movement as me, and to cross reference this real world around me, to practice being present here, recognizing what I have come to believe, as be comfortable with, as the very movement of me, expressing accepted relationships, and slow down, breath, ground myself and call out by name, the math of me, and recall as the very sound of me, a living relationship to what is here, as the physical, to equalize myself, or to get in synch with here, the actual physical. I can recognize when I am rejecting- what I am resonanting, by movement of blaming things around me for not being what I resonate, and become equal and one to the resonance of life here. And, within this, to realize that this same thing is happening all around me, because, overall this is not understood. 

Even as that small child, I had become a resonance of belief, or allowed a resonance of belief, that I needed attention from my father. On some level, I separated myself into a resonate idea, as a math, and did not pay attention to my surroundings, believing that there was a more, when I already was the means, as being present here, which is the real ‘ more’ of and as me, as being present and in synch with what was real, as the physical symbols, as life in a living relationship, working together in ways that are more symbiotic, and of an interaction that is respectful of all things, choosing what supports no matter what.

When I find myself resisting, I have to stop, slow down and breath. When I find my physical body ‘ stepping back’ or tensing up, or constricting, I have to slow down and look at what I resist, because what I resist persists a resonance of the same manner. Here, I have to breath to see that resonance, and to correct the mis-take, or the state of measure/being I have practiced and to begin to change that to the extent that I become a master of myself.  Naturally, this will take time, the time it takes for the body to regenerate cells. Yet, just as in practicing an instrument, a careful practice of this gains momentum, and my ability to change the resonance of me, will grow. It would be like being able to switch from playing a renaissance piece, and the suddenly a early modern piece of music. Which is interesting, because I remember asking myself how I could become more fluid within changing myself within the practice of music. I never thought of living this as the instrument of me, as a physical body, sounding things out, as the very words I speak, sensing this world, and the world of a more emotional memory, as opposed to a more superior, or fluid memory, as that presence within and as me as life. How could I be so blind, and why was I not taught this from the beginning? 

In all this is why knowing one’s words is so important, as words are a means of calling things out by name, and placing the math in synch with reality. Only practicing words in a closed context, as the vocal and non-direct application in real living space, as building relationships of words into practical reality, is a one sided practice.  One must practice spelling the word, and practice generating the sound, and practice a relationship with the word directly with reality- something that cannot be done in school alone, or learned via the media alone, one must, as the self, just like practicing the violin, or a sport, actually practice the sounds, to build, or retain, a natural spatial ability to reality in relation to what one generates as the words that reflect relationships in this world, as words are never the real thing, they are a muse, so-to-speak. 

This also is the practice of building a relationship with what is here, understanding one’s own resonance- which can change, and doing the math of reality, the systems and one another.  No one can do this but the self. In another way, it is to say that the real means without, is to go within. It is to say that humans are the perfect machines to ‘ do the math’ of existence in real time. Being this real focus in real time instead of a mind consciousness of separation. The place of most happiness, because humans are happy when they are capable of real focus,  and unhappy when they are lost in a dissonant resonance, that is not effective in substantive self direction, is being focused here.  When our neighbor is self directive in practical real time, it helps us, as the body of the overall machine, must synchronize to life, the physical. 

Enjoy and practice the smallest of things, as they are the means to understand the larger forms as the physical around us. Learn to spell and speak you words, build direct relationships with the words, to living reality, understand how the body resonates a math of one’s exposure, opportunity and belief systems.  Breathe, slow down, write it out, and call things out by name, forgive yourself to the small, the practical, the here, build a lasting relationship to this reality. The tools are here, to help, yet no one can do this for the self but the self. The way out is to rebuild the within.  We are the perfect machines to be and do this. Blame is really a resistance to change.  In another way, blame is a form of revenge for one’s resonant seed of information, or ego. It is the self showing the self, where one is not being responsible and/or how we inform ourselves. Thus, my blame, is myself not standing as solution or self actualization. I must look to the small, the singular event that was a repeated action, that created a time-line, that rolled up into a resonant seed and came to manifest as a seeming ' dissonance' to reality around me, as the interactive relationships to all things around me. No one can correct this humpty-dumpty scattered and fractionalized  resonant-in-the-cells-event horizon I allowed to become seeded in myself but me. I would have it no other way, as this is an opportunity to become equal and one to who and what I am, the potential of me, as life.

There is, although seemingly counter because of a resonance unacknowledged, GREAT JOY in mastering the small.  It is the means of self empowerment and the full engagement of all the senses, it is the inherent potential of the human being. It is right in front of us. It is time to take this back, to remember this to ourselves. The way out, is the way in. 

The Distraction of Micro Management and Intuition. Is Hillary Clinton equal to life? Day 720

I am interested in learning about chemistry and organic chemistry and biology. I realize over time, within doing a little over day, that I can accumulate an understanding of the parts and whole of these systems, how they interact, as their inter-relationships and what that means in terms of the plants and the animals around me, and my own physical body.

I have to build and focus on this, always relating this to this actual and real physical world. It must have a living context.

In doing this, I had to go and look at exponents. I have had some exposure to exponents but not a whole lot of exposure.

During the process I wanted to use laws or rules - guides as knowledge and information, from my past, about how one multiplies negative numbers etc. What I realized as I did a lesson in exponents, is that the former cannot be applied to the later.  Or, my understanding was so in one context only, I did not have the spatial understanding of negatives being a kind of division. The point here was that I found I had to move counter to my beliefs,  I had to move in a counter-intuitive way, as the information that is and was me as my past.

Within the school learning model, as the direct instruction model, one is introduced to new information, and then practices that new information, in integrative activities, and then one practices this on one’s own, reviews it etc. Inherent in this process is one bringing one’s focus onto the form, and ‘ relating’ to it again and again. Thus, one builds an awareness of it, one is developing a relationship.

This then is filed in the body, and eventually can become automated. What happens in this context over time is a forgetfulness of the information that one accepts to direct one’s self. 

In the context of moving counter-intuitively within myself, I had to slow down a train of past information and apply a new perspective within my presence here. And, I had to practice this change. And, I will have to practice this again, over a period of time, being aware of my past habit, recognizing it and moving into the new. 

If I have resistance, then I have to look at why I have that resistance. In this world, it could be that I have another task I must do that I keep in the back of my head. I am not being the director of myself in totality, in presence within what I am doing. And yet, just as that past information is not going anywhere, because I am having to move counter to it, I realize on some level, that I need not hold onto something, because it is essentially not going to go away!  lol, this is where writing a list of what must be done in a day is helpful, because I need not think about something, I can just move through the list.

Overall, what does this experience reveal? It reveals that we move as the information we accept and allow. It means that we can have an idea about something and that this idea, over time, can become this ambiguous information automated within us that we realize as information when we have to learn something new that is counter to this information, which is what being counter-intuitive means. 

This reminds me of having worked with others. Suddenly, the other person comes and says something like, “ I have a feeling that this is ... this or that” And I ask some questions and meet with a repetition of an ambiguous statement as “ well, I have a feeling about this.” There is no other answer but this “ I have a feeling.”  

Since I realize in learning something, that I take in new information, that with practice becomes how I direct myself, and that information automating, to the point where I do not see that information unless i have to apply it in a situation where my information must change, I have forgotten what it is that I use to direct myself. I would not have realized my set way of working with negative numbers unless i had moved into looking at exponents. Here, I experienced what it means to move counter to my own set body of information. I would not have realized a sense of resistance as wanting to move in the learned way, and redirecting that in a new way. I have to ask myself how much do I do this in reality? How much to I move as a ‘ feeling’ without defining the information that is that ‘ feeling’ clearly, and respond with being present here, processing what is here, and changing what information that is me that I have accepted and allowed? This would mean overall, that when one has a ‘ feeling’ one is moving as what one believes, and if not clearly defined, is really not understanding that one is in a situation that is counter to one’s ideas, beliefs and opinions. One is, abdicating one’s presence and being ambiguous in relation to one’s intuition ( body of experience/inFORMation) and hence, resisting change. That intuitive info is bumping up against the practical world and believing itself to be greater than the practical. 

It gets to the point where this starts to become so obvious one could cause a lot of friction in calling this out. Yet, what else is there, it must be called out. This also demands a focus and a fearlessness in calling out these moralities because this is what they in essence are.

This brings me to another experience I have had. I have interacted with school committees. At one time I went and read ‘ the book’ in my state as to the rules and regulations for school committees. I started at the beginning of this 2 inch thick book. After the initial pages, where goals and principles were stated, I started to notice what I was reading was all these details, or, micro management about procedures. When I noticed that what I was reading was a micro-management system of the huge amount of paper work, I turned the subsequent pages and realized that I was reading directions as to how to file this line of paper work information etc, etc, etc.  Within this, I had to move counter intuitive to following information. I had to realize that the beginning of this ‘ book’ were the principles and guidelines of purpose, and the rest, which was most of this book, was simply about making sure the paper work was filed correctly. I was afraid to stand up and reveal this. I  believed that conceptually this would be counter to the running mechanism of the committee! Wow. 

I return to this past moment, because yesterday  I read some legal documents, and realized I was looking at the same thing I noticed within looking at the school committee documents/book.

These legal documents were so immersed in referencing past statutes, with all these numbers and letters and symbols being used to organize other documents, and the information was such of a micro management system, that I started to become confused and anxious within reading this. There may be an inherent logic within this system, yet to realize that inherent logic would take years. It is such a system of causing busy-ness in referencing all the associations one would not immediately see that what one looked at was not a law, but a series of being told how to move in every detail- to such an extent that self discovery would not exist. And yet, we understand in the education system, that self discovery is how we learn! Thus, it is as though the very system of what is not really law, but statutes as to manage every movement, is by design counter intuitive to how we learn, which is self discovery. And, that what exists as this is not a directive as lending understanding, but a purposeful distraction filled with associations by construction, to not allow one to discover that this present system micro manages as a means of separating one from one’s common sense ability!  I also have to ask myself how often I have not used my common sense and differentiated between principle and dictated direction? That ability to learn follows, yet without seeing the patterns, one loses a sense of principle, as what guides one. This means one loses a sense of the whole, the space of here, as one is tied to details that manage how one moves in a reality that reveals itself when one has the opportunity to interact with it. Yet is we are so focused on words on a page that are buried in association- a distraction in itself ( I will not go the next layer into subject redefinitions in the use of words!) - that it would be easy to forget reality, it would be easy to separate from what that micro management system was managing in the first place! Incredible. A crime, and a purposeful abuse of power.

That is so fucking messed up! Yet, this is a mirror reflection of what our intuitions are, as our set body of information that we at times use in an ambiguous way when we respond to things as “ I have a feeling”!  Each of us, inherent in the use of the statement “ I have a feeling’ ONLY, are basically using/following an associative web of information as what we have accepted as a practice to self direct, or, a self micro-management system, that we no longer can process or communicate because it is so layered with cross references in relation to that web of information- it is no wonder we come up with ambiguous statements such as “ I have a feeling’ ONLY to justify the choices we make!  In this, we are a busy work of information that has no real relationship to practical reality, and we resist and spite and react and fight for that inner intuition that resists a real relationship to this physical reality around us. Why do we follow without question?  Do we wonder why we lose our spatial sense of reality as we spend years on and in this physical form called earth?  Our set body of information is not equal to reality. This is practical, it is simple, it is OBVIOUS. It can be called out by name. The only thing stopping one from calling this out is one’s own set body of information,  or one’s intuition, believed to be greater than here,greater than this actual physical world around us, that ground under one’s feet.   Our centralized, government control system of micro managing every move we make is a reflection of each of us being this within ourselves, and it is managing us, in the mirror image of us, because this whole state of being is not being responsible as living a real, direct relationship to what we are as a state of physical beingness! And, to do so, it must set ever more rigid systems of one-size-fits-all because this makes managing the separation from reality as each human, easier to manage! It is a total rejection of self as life,a total rejection of self responsibility. It is counter intuitive to reality, to life, and it causes endless suffering to this life on earth. It is self programming the flesh in self interest, without consideration for all things, which is what one must be and do, to equalize to creating an ‘ intuition’ that works so clearly, one never has to say “ I have a feeling” without being able to define that feeling. 

The irony in this is that the children tend to understand this very quickly. It is the adults, who resist and become full of friction because the deconstruction process is heavy and slow because they have allowed so much information without cross reference to reality to be what informs them.  The separation is thick and like a hamster running on a wheel, no longer able to immediately ground themselves as ‘ jumping off “ that two-inch-book of information as their intuition.  Yes, it is like the children, before this happens to them, circumnavigate the zombies, as the adults of mis-information that is not all bad,  because in essence they do not yet have the words to define and describe this. In other words, they are not being heard- and many are already on the journey of this separation. IN this age of information, this, I assume, will only exacerbate. Do we notice that our children are having a loss of mastering the most simple of things? Are we as parents wanting a system to solve this problem- which means we are the consequence to this same scenario? Who, may I ask, can fix this? Especially if the adults are the products of this? lol, no one can, and the cost of hiring another person to do this, in an effective way, would be very very pricey. Therefor, only you can, only the parent themselves. Only the self can sort this out. It is impossible for someone else to do this. Yet, the first step is admitting to this.

Even I, in every moment, have to slow down and breath, check my own ‘ intuition’ and realize it is not this reality, it is the marker of my own accepted and allowed information learned without understanding how this all works.

Day 674 Value judgements as the data I allowed to define me in fear of being self responsible.

I looked at a memory that came up in relation to friend of mine of many years, that I do not have much to do with even though we live very close to one another.  I remember as a teenager that I would become annoyed with her because she tended to disappear suddenly when I was with other teenagers in the area where I spent my summers.  I remember becoming frustrated that this peer removed herself from the group in random and sudden ways. I felt as though that I was not good enough for her, and by association, when she was not there, I was missing something. I placed some value on her that I believed I lost when she was not present.

I ask myself what the values are that I projected onto her? I felt that she had grace and awareness that I did not have. And instead of listening to her, as in understanding her perspective, I made it into something that I lacked. Instead of standing up and realizing the measure of her insight, I allowed myself to believe that if I were not her steady friend it meant that I lacked that quality and others would realize this and I would be discovered to lack something.

I tend to use the words gentle and grace a lot in terms of what I deem important in others, I even have done this with my choices of men. I project a simple grace onto others believing that I somehow lack this. And yet, at times, when I was most calm, and relaxed, I could come forward and speak in ways that solved problems and calmed emotional storms, thus to say that I lack the steady insight that often needs no real force to show insight, is not something that I lack. 

I find I have a fear within being this.  And I have a sense, like in a video game when one has to move a figure though swinging doors, or swinging bolders of rock, that one has to time the move in such a way that the action figure manages to make it through the tricky ‘ gate’  in the way to their goal. A sense of fear of not making it through comes up. And, even within this, I have experienced being calm, watching the pattern of the obstacles movement and gently moving through it with ease. 

Hence, this is myself, when in fear, when in uncertainty, seeing the idea of not making it through over being present and sensing the space and the time in the physical movement. What I project onto this is an entity of ideas, beliefs and opinions in fear of loss and consequences of this loss made into this huge vision within me. Moving through the swinging rocks or doors, is a form, it is a shape, it has a rhythm, it has space between the movements, one can move through that space. One can sense that space, unless one believes the movie in one’s mind to be more real than the physical world one faces.

In relation to my friend, I realize that  what I projected onto her, was about me and not her. Also, there is an element of understanding that she disappeared because she was the same as myself, now that I have known her for many years.  It is having allowed information as ideas, beliefs and opinions within to be the guide instead of being here, in the physical, understanding from and function of physical reality, where, unfortunately there are many swinging doors and swinging rocks because I have allowed ideas, beliefs and opinions to be more real that what was actually real around me, as the physical. And the consequence of this lack of being present and gentle and careful in assessing the physical world as what one projected as a mind consciousness of fear based on lacking attention to the physical, and imposing a huge idea onto reality, has caused a systemic design that blocks access to being able to move unless one understands that system. And why, because unless one is grounded in reality, one does not have the responsibility to direct in ways that do no harm. The elite of this world have a  system to protect them from those who have allowed a mind consciousness of False Evidence Appearing Real as ideas, beliefs and opinions in the mind CONscience to direct the machine of one’s physical body, and this directive is too busy in fear, in that false information as measure, to be allowed to move onto the next level because there is no real self responsibility. Hence the elite try and order this world in a way that controls that lack in each. And, they are in the interim in fear of losing what they have, and end up projecting this same fear onto everything. So every one is fearing everyone else, which overall is a misuse of one’s physical body and memory into a separation from reality, the physical. This is that valley of the shadow of good and evil, this is the storm on earth, this is why heaven could exist and yet does not exist on this earth, on this reality.

What I projected onto my friend as having, was what I rejected within myself, because it meant that I had to face the storm of separation as the bubbles of beliefs that cover the earth as this mind consciousness of fear, of believing some information based on a picture in one’s mind , as memory, to be more real than reality. The emotions and feelings that one vents, as one can only speak what one is, as one can only form the information that is you, and that one perpetually sounds, as this is what is accepted and allowed, all the tensions and “ pulls’ into value as the colors one uses, intensified with staccato sounds, or elongated slurs,  will always reveal what measure one accepts, and the lack of definition in one’s sound structures as one’s words, through what we speak. 

Everything is heard, just as the inner whine I had about my friend, where I was crying my own lack,  chasing a value I believed my friend to have, ignoring the means as the values to realize myself because I feared really looking at what I was doing because it meant that I had to forgive what I accepted and stand up and be responsible. The irony is that what I sought was already me, I had just warped it into a distant value, way off there somewhere outside of me, via imagery, like a shattered self, like that humpty dumpty character in children’s stories. I mean those stories are there for a reason, so we cannot blame anyone for our lack, because the answers are always right in front of us. We have to become the directors of our within, and make sure it is as that action figure, standing there, sensing the rhythm of the life that is right here in front of us, and simply walking through the physical with grace and awareness, of which our physical selves when focused here are the perfect forms to be and do. 

Would this not be what was meant by being the living word? Is not the living word the words of the values of those swinging rocks and/or doors, and would not that measure, that data that comes directly from the physical world, be the means to understand the measure in space and time and enable one to sense the rhythms and forms and move with ease? As has been said, it is but a veil that separates one from life.

If we were to call that shattered self the survival character, that sounds the measure of fear, as false beliefs and ideas and opinions that are the self not looking here as physical practical reality, and that shattered self that cries lack because that is the measure accepted and allowed, what if that cry were much like a micro wave on the waters of life that is in everything on this earth? What is that microwave of limitation as beliefs, opinions and ideas of a whine of lack, could infiltrate the physical waters of this earth, and just as a micro wave destroy the water molecules and end up shattering the physical world slowly over time until there was nothing left? What if the trees around us, placed all over this earth were growing weaker and weaker because of the behaviors of an inner consciousness that was of value judgements of lack and the gain hoped for in racing from the believed and accepted lack as idea , belief and opinion within and as one’s mind consciousness, that shook and wavered within the limitation, that was what really microwaved existence to the point where the physical world shattered and fell apart? We all know that water can carry resonance, so is this not possible? If we look around is this not what is happening?

There are people who are writing words and placing them onto vessels holding water. The problem here is that this is not that person taking responsibility within themselves within and as the measure of themselves within. And yet, the answer is to be that action figure, to ground one’s self here, equal to the measure of the physical, and to assess the physical and move within the space of the physical, no judgement except to understand the living quality of the physical thing.

This takes slowing down, becoming respectful of the physical, and being respectful is being thankful, is being graceful, is being gentle, to realize the values, the qualities before one, and to move in accord with that living thing. We can do this, we can assess what we have accepted and allowed as the ghost in the machine that is a Humpty Dumpty, a system of false evidence appearing to be real that if one looks has charged values that pull one into an alternate reality of measure that stops one from moving here in grace and ease, as is the capacity of self as a physical being, just as you learned to crawl and to walk, to pet an animal, to sense the quality of water, to enjoy the coolness of ice cream, all of this is the capacity of you as a physical form, the warped values are like a pull into an idea, that if this has been allowed has become a habit, automated, layered and determining of your actions. This can all be balanced and reformed, as your neurons will move and change, yet, this has to be done by each.

Ground yourself, breath, slow down, begin to see the entity of beliefs, opinions and ideas, begin to see what projections pull you into that constant conflict of value judgement, as this is self chasing a value that is already within and as what you really are. What you resist is what persists, because what you resist is the means to your self responsibility which is what you really seek, as this is what will calm the waters of life, within and without, and ground presence here, to enable the presence of you as life, to build an understanding of life, to become the creator you are meant to be. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my friend as having something I believed I did not have.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being considered lacking in a quality such as being gentle which I associated with being aware and insightful, believing myself to lack this ability, within and as believing myself to be unworthy, when what I was busy with was a belief in a lack, based on a past where I rushed in desire not slowing down to assess the world around me, as I accepted and allowed an excitement to direct me as a value judgement in self interest, without slowing down to see, realize and understand the physical world around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within this, become ashamed of myself, as within this, there is a presence that I am aware of what it is that I am doing as I allowed a fear of  failure based on the same actions that caused the mis-take to determine who and what I believed myself to me, and as a consequence accumulated a memory of lack, that was not grounded in the practical reality around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being present here, and to fear being labeled as not being good enough, as not being lucky enough, where luck simply means that I had enough information to direct to and towards what I desired, and the opposite as unluck simply means that I did not investigate enough to allow myself to accomplish a goal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to chase after another person and then to react to that person’s resistance instead of seeing realizing and understanding that this was about me, this reaction was my own self interest, based on an idea of who and what I was instead of being present here, applying practical applications that valued the physical characteristics of the life that was /is me that is all around me, where the rhythm and design and movement of that life is visible and able to be sensed and moved with and as in clarity and calm, and certainty and steadiness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear pointing this out against the storm of beliefs, opinions and ideas of and as entities that are ghosts  in the machine within men, creating hued men, as walking mind consciousness bubbles in separation from the practical reality, where the only solution is to ground myself, assess here, equalize my within to the without as what is here, and a system that is the consequence of the separation of men from reality, to within and as every breath, to remain in understanding with the physical, as this is the way and the means to ground the ideas , beliefs and opinions that I have allowed to define me, to move into being grounded in reality, seeing realizing and understanding that this is stabilizing the physical world that is what life is, as life would be physical information working in synergistic and symbiotic ways and means as creation would be and do, sharing the means of being as each can understand because all is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that it is too late,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that it is never too late, as creation is life, and life is built of sound information, hence the only way and means is to realize this, and to value the physical around me as me, as this is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel I have wasted myself being a mind consciousness of self interest,   instead of realizing the value is life and remaining grounded in every move, taking that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that facing the storm of separation as a mind consciousness infiltrating the waters of life in the wold around me is impossible to sort out, when the solution is to walk here, to remain grounded and to realize the practical in relation to respecting the physical world, and how I can build a memory of storied/layered information that is of value judgements in separation from the practice of assessing reality, which means that it is understood as to how this works, as the media uses this in self interest, as each is doing within themselves, to program layers of information that comes to direct the machine as the physical creating personalities that then assess in the present collection of data on each personality to order the system, yet this is overall a system of separation from the physical world, from life, and a system that will destroy the physical as it is not equal and one to the practice of living in creation, equal and one.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how that data collection is myself, as I collected data, as measure about my friend, in a desire to be associated with that data, I allowed to become a god of information that I then chased, not seeing realizing and understanding that I projected what I lacked onto another, as what I had rejected to be do and have, as the ability to assess the reality around me and move in self responsible ways, as this behavior was a self abdication that I turned into a smoke and mirrors show of chasing a desire and labeling myself as inferior, instead of slowing down and realizing I rejected the means I sought, as being grounded here in reality,, so I rejected what was me, what was my greatest strength and ended up chasing my own rejection,  which was overall a picture show within and as me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that practice of being physical, as assessing the physical world around me, is the means to the end, as the grounding of myself here, which is fun, and the ability of myself as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to give up my own self pity that is a consequence of all of this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being happy, because I fear the joy of self responsibility will cause conflict within and as a world where a mind consciousness reigns as a paranormal entity as a ghost in the machine that screams its lack which is a measure, a layer of information, which we all see, realize and understand as we compare ourselves to others and project values as measures onto others and believe as I have done that that value is not what I am,  which is myself telling myself what I have rejected - as in what i have created within and as me-where the only solution is to ground myself here, no matter what, as this is being equal and one and in respect of life.

When and as I find myself becoming energy, as what a projection that is charged with a value judgement is within and as me, I stop, and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I become calm, gentle, steady, and I assess the measure of the physical world around me, to see the rhythm and form inherent in the design, and I become equal and one to the practical application of creation as the physical to realize that which does no harm and takes that which is good and respect the value being life, here.

When and as I find myself  longing for a value in the guise of desiring to be associated with another person, I stop and I breath, and I slow  myself down and I see, realize and understand what I fear, where I fear being myself as the capacity inherent in what and who I am, as the ability to assess the practical world as the physical here, and my own accepted and allowed energetic values and I ground this in the practical here, becoming the practice of allowing myself to be gentle, to be calm, to assess, investigate, become aware of, life, here, as the physical.

When and as I find myself reacting to wanting to associate with someone or something, I stop and  I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize the value I have projected through association as a belief, opinion or idea, and I become calm, and assess the characteristics of the physical reality around me, and my habits of belief, until I am calm, stable, serene, steady, seeing realizing and understanding that all mis-takes can be corrected as this is how I learned to crawl and to walk, to build understanding here, thus in every moment I can slow down, assess and direct in ways that cause no harm as this is myself being in respect of creation, which is myself being thankful for the life that is me that is all around me as me, here.

When and as I find myself fearing to be at ease, to be happy, to be in joy of being here, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I practice being grounded here, in respect of the physical and in cross reference of what I have accepted and allowed as value judgements within and as me, as the layered information that I use to assess in self interest, which reveals how I become the information I accept and allow in separation from considering all things and building an awareness that is layered with practical application in respect of the physical, to be and live in equality and oneness with and as life, which is to become the living word here.

When and as I find myself fearing to be practical in the face of limited information within and without, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that my fear is simply false evidence appearing real, as value judgements as fear of loss, as hope for a gain, as a label/construct of information I seek in self interest, and I come back down to earth, realizing the value is being here, equal and one to and as the physical.

When and as I find myself tensing up in my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I assess the data, as the measure of my beliefs, opinions and ideas, flowing down from a mind consciousness into my solar plexus and into my chest, I stop and I breathe, and I ground myself here, assessing the physical world, to build self trust in being present here, equal and one to and as life as the physical.

When and as I find myself becoming uncertain, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I realize where I exist within and as myself as a value judgement that is data, that I have accepted and allowed to layer within and as me, and I assess the wold around me, to consider all things, to become the change I want to see, in thought word and deed, until I am stable, calm, serene, grounded, present, and I direct within the practice of physical beingness, here.

When and as I find myself resisting what is here, I stop and I breath, and I assess within and without as the sum of the layered information I have accepted and allowed to define me in fear of survival and as a consequence an action of self interest , to instead become/practice a more synergistic action with myself in tandem with reality, which means to work in coordination with what is here, where the sum of the parts as including the physical, working together creates a whole expanding in awareness in thought word and deed in equality and oneness with creation information, the physical.