I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge organizing this house as being difficult and too much work for a woman alone to be doing.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I had to move twice in Europe and both times, I did a lot of this myself as within this I felt that I was alone, all by myself and thus not being helped by anyone where I was full of self pity because I believed that someone should help me, and then I thought I was a good character because I was capable of doing this all by myself.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to think I am a good character, a good wife because I had managed to organize a move all by myself without any help.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am the good strong independent woman because I am getting myself in order to move all by myself without any help.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this belief that I am good because I am moving all by myself without help, I am actually creating the opposite character of self pity within believing myself to be all alone, where there is the opposite belief that I am alone and having to do all of this all by myself.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that within this “good character “ as the independent woman, I am not here being practical with what is simply going on, that a house needs to be packed up, cleaned up, organized and then moved, and that is all, there need be no judgement as what I am within the process of moving.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand the extent in which I am conditioned to believe that moving from a house should have the presence of a man to help with the move, where, yes this should shorten the process, yet in the end the same actions must be taken, and thus it makes no difference whether it is one alone or two, moving is still the same.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must fit some image to exist here, otherwise there is something “wrong” with me.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am existing as a play of characters, as the devil and the angel on my shoulder, enacting both sides of the belief in and as my mind, as judgement, where I was not taught to self direct in common sense, but was told a story - filled/developed with images- as to what should be and what should not be as a picture, and not the practical application of myself here in and as this physical world and what it means to be here in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow these competing characters to judge one another as who I am within the moment of allowing the mind to place a story based on limited and accepted relationships of what life should be, this “should” in itself a separation from life here, as the image and likeness of what a woman or a man should or should not be instead of what is physically actually, practically here.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see that in being a desire I am separate from what is physically, practically here in common sense, as a desire indicates that something is wanted and thus that something is missing, when in fact life is here, a physical world that has no stamp of ownership, and it is only the ideas, beliefs and opinions as criticism of what is lacking or needed or not doable that are the separations from what is here, creating a belief that something is desired, when were we to live in common sense in and as respect and consideration for what is, is physically here, able to provide for all life, as all that is here is life, then there would be no desires, no wants, no needs as all that is here would be interacting and expanding and sharing and learning how and what we are as the substance of life as what we are all one and equal to, thus would this world be an expression in and as awareness and expansion within this, self directed, self honest, giving as one would like to receive as this is the value, yet we have become characters incessantly polishing our images based on limited ideas, beliefs and opinions, propagated by our own fear of self honesty manifest as a system of inequality , held together by images as memories in abdication of life.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am allowing and accepting myself to judge myself based on values given to the image of what I am within a system of division, as a female.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as a desire in and as my mind to have someone to hold my hand and validate my actions.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I am creating a play out of characters based on beliefs and opinions in separation from physical actual life, causing self judgement, self pity, allowing myself to carry around a burden , the be-ur den of what was believed by the den, as mind, of my parents and those who are the well spring of what dictates I accept and allow in and as my mind here.
I commit myself to breathing here, without rushing and judging myself for what has been done, or not done, and how this is done, and instead simply walk what needs to be done, getting things done every day until it is done.
I commit myself to stopping the characters of the mind from weaving endless polarities of judgement based on an image as the divisions of men bordered in by belief, opinion and idea in separation from life here, from what is actually physically here in common sense.
I commit myself to breathing and enjoying what is here, as what is here is one and equal to me, and thus within this principle of oneness and equality I move as myself as life, communicating with what is here as being one and equal to me.
I commit myself to realizing that I can only practically walk what is right here in front of me, and that what is right here in front of me, as me, as this physical world communicates with me in common sense, it is only myself as mind that divides within borders of belief as knowledge and information.
I commit myself to realizing that many are walking in and as the outplay of the voices in their heads not realizing their own separations and thus are unable to see what is physically real here, and are caught up in feeding the act of polishing their characters within fear of survival in and as a belief in lack, in fear of facing what has been accepted and allowed my man, as this would mean stepping out of complacency, as what exists on this earth within competition, ownership, survival, profit instead of the principle of oneness and equality, communing with and as life, as what we are.
Are you crucifying yourself? Is it really hard to move when no one is looking?
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