I become what I allow Day 757

Today I am going to look at self pity, that heavy and slow belief that one is not good enough.  It is composed of projecting an idea that one cannot do something. 

There are two points here as I see it, one is that one focuses on the lack, that something cannot be done, and another is that that focus denies one from problem solving. This means that one does not have enough information to walk what would be moving towards a goal that one has. 

Imagine if one is playing a piece of music, and does this. In this respect one simply stops playing, or gets lost if one is moving in a performance. One gets stuck. Obviously, one cannot go into self pity, because one cannot then focus on self pity and what one is doing. The self pity creates a lag that eventually catches up as it grows and takes the attention away, and then one gets lost. One is not focused on the real information.

I would want to hide this self pity. I would not want anyone to know. And, in this moment, I realize that when I expressed self pity, the outcome was usually not what removed the self pity. Looking at that self pity, and finding solution to remove it was the only way out. 

What self pity, the state of feeling sorry for one’s self, does is show us that we become what we allow. We become the math of what we allow within us. What we allow -as an idea, that is most likely one of resistance to more information - takes on a life of its own, it becomes a time-line of and as a conversation within, as a holding onto a belief. Just as a action or movement of being focused and moving in the presence of what is real and composed of as this physical world into consistent focus can build real understanding, This is understanding that is clear stable and able to be spoken about with clarity, A story line of self pity if not cleared becomes a series of movements directed by that self pity, which is a focus on a lack that perpetually seeks validation that never solves the problem and change of focus that would remove the self pity. One builds an entity in separation. One becomes an event horizon of movements in separation from being focused on reality. This leads to stagnation and behaviors of protecting that self pity, creating justifications for it. It has a sluggish processing quality to it as well.

In so many ways, this is why the physical, as the real and tangible world around us is a cool starting point, because it is what we all share that grounds us into what moves as creation, to realize what we allow within ourselves. It is to say that we need one another to have an equal starting point, which is why only allowing what does not harm is so important.

Also, what I notice, is that when one is in some emotional and feeling entity within as belief, there is this shakiness that actually does not feel like a constant, that does not feel stable. I ask myself what this is and realize that I can use this to understand what I am standing as, because what I have found is that this is a fear, it indicates where I am not at ease, where I am not being really focused on the practical to the point where I feel calm about looking at what is here and voicing my perspectives with ease, even if my insights in the moment are not what is best, I don’t worry about whether that insight is going to be accepted or not. Sometimes in such situations, I may bring an insight forward that is not ultimately accepted yet it triggers more insight leading to solutions. Also, I don’t always feel the need to input some perspective, which is okay too.  

That sense of shaking, is a cool red flag in what I am allowing within me. It is where I can slow down, realize any defense in the form of a thought of justification, or a physical resistance, and breath, check myself to see why I am not being stable, and at ease. It is where i can look to realize what i have allowed that has become a story within me, as a belief, and check what that movement is, as energy, indicating fear, indicating where I am not looking in practical presence of physical living, and remove a focus on a lack, and accept a focus on the practical reality. 

Thus, a un-quiet movement within myself, that can be sensed as a state of instability, is actually myself lacking being focused in and on reality. When I notice this, it means to slow down and look at what is practical. It means to slow down and look at what information I have allowed to define me, and to look at the means of the default overall ALSO being the means of the correction as taking the time to investigate what has caused this lack of focus and finding the means that direct this lack into greater certainty in action, and focus on that solution, Then it means to rescript that solution, to make it more real than the resonant story/voice/focus of insecurity.  I mean, this is the same action that one uses, as presence to move one’s self into greater understanding, it is how things are built. Nothing can direct one but what one accepts and allows. Thus each is responsible for what is within the self. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see realize and understand any and all times I become a visibly sensorial presence of uncertainty within and as myself, that has the quality of a shaky feeling, a sense of a seemingly intangible vibration within me, and to not see, realize and understand that this is myself, as what i have accepted and allowed to define me, as a separation from being present and practical in this living reality, this physical reality, here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this is myself not being focused and present here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see realize and understand that within this I can recognize this, slow down, breath, call this out by name, and correct, which can be done by recognizing the name of the uncertainty causing me to shake, and finding the math, the word, the means of what focuses me here, in the practical, in the moment, of which, I have breath to allow me to remain present to see realize and understand what I am allowing within and as me, as this is understood as to how this all works, as allowing the fear to grow is the same that allows presence to remain here. 

When and as I find myself beginning to shake within and as me, I stop, I slow down and I breath, I stand firmly on the ground and focus here, not resisting what i have allowed, simply realizing it for what it is, and slowing down to be present in this reality as the physical, realizing that what I allow to exist is what I allow to build within me, that comes to define me, and to, within breath, to self correct through accepting the life that is me, one and the same, as the physical reality here. 

Crisis actors in acts of survival without regard for their actions. Day 704

I have come across a couple of articles on crisis actors. One particular video was of a group of American people of color. One can see that some of the younger people are stifling a laugh. I would to in such a situation. Seeing the whole thing as funny. I was standing there making up a story about something that never happened. I would be so occupied with this that I would not look at the long term ramifications of my actions. Especially towards my fellow men. Especially towards people of my own race.

There was another video of two black men who were involved in a peaceful demonstration. Yet, somehow, the media had built a story around them as being the perpetrators in relation to some supposed police deaths. These two men had turned themselves in to the police, handed over their legal firearms and brought witnesses that confirmed their whereabouts in relation to this supposed police altercation. The police did nothing, they were essentially fearful of going against the media story, even though the reality was staring them in the face. 

If we cannot discern fact from fiction, the fiction being our media, owned by a few who use divide and conquer/manipulation of events/ crisis actors/ machiavellian shinanigans/ self interest without regard for life/ false flags/red flags/ currency manipulation/ etc.etc. etc. how can we point fingers at anyone? How can we solve problems? We are essentially running around in chaos, living a lie, blaming everything around us, and no longer able to make any real decisions that make any sense at all. 

The problem with this is that we are forcing this onto our children. Our children are becoming more and more confused. What else do we call ADD and ADHD, and Autism and Dyslexia and all the other dis-eases that exist. Did we not realize that the separation from really looking and standing up for reality was not going to compound and become the mirror of our abdication of common sense? Can we continue to make statements that accept the absence of common sense. AND, that the answer, the solution is right there, it is common sense.

The crisis actors that spoke up for the false story, for which they are probably making money, do they realize the lives they are destroying? Do they realize the animals living on the earth who lose their habitats for resource extraction so the tools of broadcasting a false and limited story can continue? Do they realize the short term benefits of that pay for that performance? 

These actors are accepting money, in the short term, to survive, disregarding the long term consequences of others. And, that to continue this charade through participating within it, will lead them to the same or similar end as those lives that are disrupted by such actions as pretending a story that never really happened. 

I ask myself where I have manipulated things/stories in my own self interest. It begins with myself. I am the cell on the ground that generates the illusion of ideas, beliefs and opinions that have no regard for the practice of physical living. Where have I manipulated in my own self interest?

Where did I not tell the real story, leaving out inconvenient parts? Where did I create a crisis within my immediate environment through a lie by omission? Where did I create a paranormal event in my life that I had to constantly generate so that no one would find out that I had acted in fear, in my own self interest because I was too lazy/fearful/angry/self interested to investigate and assess and realize what would be best? Where did I become accusatory, or defensive, or use qualifiers with superlatives as  positive statements to suggest that my better was better than another absolute- all in self interest? Where did I manipulate events through my reflection of events to warp reality and hide what I accepted as ideas about something because I acted only in my own survival in the moment, having forgotten that I am a physical state of being on a physical planet? Where did I disregard the consequences of my actions towards my fellow sentient beings of this physical and practical earth?

Where did I polarize myself into energy, becoming loopy, ungrounded, fearful, existing as a chaos within myself? Where did I warp time, create a entity of belief and lift myself away from reality to hide in some emotional storm, covered in  positives as my words to justify my own fabricated-through-limitation-lie? Where did I become ego?

What I push away, what I reject, what I resist, what I blame, what I project outwards as what the aforementioned actions are, is what I ignored to bring forward values that I believed defined who and what I am or did in a reckless manner for money without looking at the long term consequences. It is as though I play with a substance that is as changeable and unsteady and chaotic as the imagery projected by the media. A media owned by a few who, in their survival, have managed to own resources around the globe to control the story impulsed through machinery. Even for them, the end will be the same, because what is real is being used to project a false and limited story on this earth. And all that is here as the animals, and the plants are suffering because of it. And we all accept and allow it unless we don’t. Unless we stop. It can only be held in place through acceptance and allowance. All of it is a false flag, a red flag, a crisis action in separation from reality. Instead of being present and using our awareness to sense reality, we are accepting and allowing very very limited stories to direct us. Yet, we can see reality, because it is always here, if we slow down, breath, and take the time to investigate and look.  If we stop participating in the limited story, it can no longer be sustained, and what will come forward, is reality, is the physical world, what is of real value. The real value is living, is being, is enjoying this state of being. It is enjoying our families, the animals, the earth.

The solution to this perpetual crisis acting is to breath and slow down and only choose those actions that do no harm to anything. This means removing the blame and the spite- those projections that are an act of not being responsible towards reality. This means feeling balanced and calm and present. This means not fearing what another may think of you. This means taking responsibility for one’s self. 

Our monetary system must change. It as its present form is the reflection of our own self interest before life. When we decide that all should have the means, because of this system, to have all basic human needs met because of what we are as physical beings, then can we begin to ground ourselves. The fruits of what labor we have done, can flow back to us, instead of flowing via financial instruments and government bureaucracies into what perpetuates this chaos, to and towards each of us. When we make the decision to manage and listen to our physical bodies and the environment around us, we by what we are as physical machines, can see directly what supports us and others that are the same as us, to become our real potential. I mean, imagine walking down the street and not having to worry about aggressive and accusatory actions and behaviors from fellow men locked in mental cages that limit doing the real math of living in a physical world? Imagine being able to have the time to understand how things work and develop practically? This is our real potential. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH6Ho0Hxz4I

http://www.globalresearch.ca/53-admitted-false-flag-attacks/5432931

Day 687 What rings into eternity? Equality and oneness. It is a physical life.

I have noticed in talking with people, that there are these moments when a thin film comes towards me, like a wisp. And then I noticed when I do this myself, as this is like a separation from being grounded here in this physical world, a much more stable state of being. This stability a point of being in tune, and what is in tune can withstand, it is like it rings into eternity.

I also notice how much I constrict within myself physically, how the muscles constrict. It is like I scrunch myself within myself and tense up and force something out of me. 

Looking over a mind construct I wrote out with all the back chat of beliefs, ideas and opinions I have accepted and allowed, I realize how much I react in blame, projecting ideas about things outward , like a ghost in the machine. Lol, it is like I am running a picture show about reality in separation from myself as a physical being on a physical planet. 

This has not happened a lot, yet it has happened enough where I say to myself: what was that! 

In relation to myself, I realize how much I am doing this. And the reflection I see from having written out the dialogue within composed of polarized values of right and wrong, a morality in relation to survival instead of respect for all life, where the physical is included, and then realized as being what is real. 

Most of the back chat is blame, for me, a form of protection and defense from doom and gloom scenarios, as potential losses in the order of survival. I mean, I can be sitting and suddenly I notice that I am imagining the worst case scenario. I have to stop, breath, slow down, and realize that this is not myself being present here, realizing the math of the physical, the real form of the physical. I realize that I accepted and allowed the seeding of my own demise. Only I can sort this out. And, what is really cool is that this can be sorted out, walked through and realized for the separation that it is, taken apart, forgiven and reformed, corrected into a script that grounds me into who and what I really am, a physical design on a physical world. I am here.

At this point, as a perspective from this moment, what I realize the most is how much I fear being practical. This means looking here, slowing way down and looking here, gathering information in respect of the practice of physical beingness.  This tends to create less fear of speaking up, as what respects the physical and calls what is here by name,  when voiced without fear, without expectations of resistance or reaction, can stand.  It is using our greatest strength to focus on the very fabric of the physical as being the starting point of reality, which is an ability to assess and investigate that which is sound as that which is best for all.

In all, I have been so occupied within protection and defense based on a fear of really looking and speaking up about what is here, through my own allowances, that I have forgotten to use my greatest strength to remain present in the richness of life, that is the physical world around me that is me, here. 

I have forgotten to feel, to live, to be an expression of life, to be present, to breath, to accept and be thankful for the richness of this physical fabric that is the means of life in expression, in formation.

It is at this point that I enter a sense of great sadness about the loss of someone close to me. I enter a ‘ what if” situation in and as realizing that were I in equilibrium with myself as life, could I have changed the outcome. Perhaps, yet this moment is not here, so I cannot say. And even this must be forgiven, as the solution is to stand and take back the life that is me, to enjoy being life, which is physical in form. 

Also, this event was within my immediate environment. Meaning, this is only in relation to myself, as there are so many who suffered a similar fate with whom I had no relationship, and yet suffered based on the choices that I made without consideration for all things. Hence, to make the situation I was in bigger than situations distant from me, yet  influenced by the choices I accepted and allowed in the products I chose, for example, or the lack of question about the economic constructs allowed on this earth that do not pay for the labor of others and cause suffering through extreme lack of access to physical support. Hence, the emotion of shame and guilt that I allow, though having some valid aspects is really in self interest. 

It stems from a fear of being forced away from something, as the best way to describe it here. Like being, or choosing a non-feeling state of being. And by feeling I mean, no longer being within the richness that is real life. What is rich is what is equal and one in measure, in a relationship to reality, which is physical, so visible and right here. That means that a feral child uses to smell like a wolf, or that means that a child uses when growing up in a household where music is constant. It is that this absorbent ability is diverted to a lesser form, one that is in separation from respect for what we are as a starting point , which is physical reality.

I realize that I accepted and allowed so many personal dis-orders, called personality disorders, built of beliefs and ideas, and opinions in a morality of survival before life. This life being the real morality. The physical being the real story. The hierarchy system that men have accepted and allowed for eons, the separation and the cause of conflict with life that is the current consequence of disease and discord on earth at present.

I notice that the moment i move into any kind of blame, I create a whispy entity within and as me, one of bitterness that is not myself being solution, as the only way to and towards life is to become the solution in every breath, to be present here, standing within and as what is best for all, as what respects the physical world, choosing what does no harm to any living thing here. This means to give as I would receive, to make the choice to speak up about what has been accepted and allowed, as what ignores the practical, and as what is the means to equality.  

This means to stand in equilibrium with the physical, to become a body in equilibrium with life, which is physical and always right here in front of me. No one can take that away, but myself. The rest, is illusion, that unfortunately is causing consequences on earth that no one would want for themselves.

Day 686 Revisiting Blame. Realizing the practice of self forgiveness and self correction.

When I go into anger I go into fear. My reflection is then based on limitation, as I am fearing survival more than being present here, equal and one to the math of existence, a physical existence.

I mean, why does television effective? Why is the measure of it so ubiquitous? Why have a measure constantly broadcast, and all the advertising images, incessantly? Why is a form, as a picture, covering the physical environment in which we life? Why is a child born without religion, nationality, class, gender awareness, skin color awareness? The simplicity of this math, is evident all around us. What blinds us, is evident all around us. What separates us from practical movement in our lives, is all around us. The simplicity of this is astounding, the complexity the consequence of the superimposition of a measure/story that is  extremely limited.

Can we not understand that a fiat currency is our labor? Can we not see that the value from the labor is siphoned off and flowing into a central entity that projects the limitations in contradiction of life: an example the supposed ‘ superman’ story? All the while the fiat currency flows the value being life as in doing, that is done with a collective effort as how things are built, from freely given resources into a centralized regime that touts what suppresses the life within. Are we not all this in measure when we ignore the world around is as we are caught in an imaginary elephant-in-the-room that is the valley of shadows as our minds of thoughts?  So, that centralized regime, feeds of the whole, and touts a god, as a superman- the opposite of life. It is laughable when the reality of the indoctrination is the opposite of practical living. And meanwhile, it has been said again and again and again, that the veil is thin. And it has been said again and again and again that one must stop the ‘ spin ‘ of the memory/mind. And it has been said again and again and again, that we are in a cave watching shadows on a wall.  This slight of hand, this legerdemain is right in front of us, and what is real is under that illusion, that valley of smoke and mirrors .  What is real is right under that constant chatter, it is the physical. 

Why are children placed in a box for 13 years? Why is an absorbent beingness placed in a confined place to create an abstract image of information? What is that information? Is that information the real story? Would this not serve to suppress through a lie-by-omission story? Would this be called a limitation?  And if one practices through repetition being up there in the imagination for 13 years, not to mention the television as entertainment and baby sitting for parents that are a product of the same system, place presence into a very limited structure as that measure/information contained in that centralized regime information measure that serves to move that value as the labor of many, being what builds and creates as how things are done on this earth, into the hands of a few to decide what we eat, what we think, what we use, to control the frustrations from suppressing the full potential of what and who we are a physical beings?

Yet, it is done because we accept it, we allow it. We in this acceptance abdicated ourselves as life. When in reality, no one, and no thing can really decide who and what you are. That which follows is that which can assess and investigate and understand and then make choices that consider all things. Remember, if it is only working for a few, then it is not working. We have allowed a quantum construction of ideas, beliefs and opinions, to direct us, and the consequence is a frustrated life that is not in full expression. A lack of full expression is a suppression, a stress, because it is only through one’s real expression, as full employment of the inherent capacity of what one is as a physical being, does one find ease. The first step is to admit, that one has abdicated one’s self as life. And then, to begin to decode the limitation, forgive it, and ground one’s self back into considering all things, taking that which is good and does no harm. This is to ensure that such a choice never happens again, because we learn through mis-takes. 

Hence, when I blame in any way, I perpetuate the limitation. Every movement within and as me, and every movement around me, if not related to a respect for life as a starting point, as an action of considering the physical, is an act of separation from life. I will in effect, never fit through the eye of the needle, that object that is used to join things together, to create. 

I am in effect, not slowing down when I move into blame. Blame is protection and self defense, in self interest, as that measure of separation of and as mind consciousness that lacks a focus on reality as the physical. To move as a directive principle in respect of the physical, I can address the limitations, being in expression as who and what I am, within realizing the means of a mind consciousness. The information that is a measure unequal to practical reality, is composed of judgement about things as measures of information. It is judgements about self, about others in relation to self, about information. So much of our in-formation an abstract about reality, as the physical. It is like a spinning thing, this entity of separation as imagination that is the mind that so many have said to stop. If one slows down, one can hear the back chat of this mind. 

Thus, why fear this paranormal entity that has no real connection to life, as the physical? The values touted as it, are short lived, meaning they have no longevity, which is why the media is a constant all around us.

Thus, when and as I move into blame, I must slow down, and realize that I have not listened to the information that is here enough to remain stable and consistent within and as directing in respect of what is real, which is the physical. My reaction is a fear of loss, based on survival. The solution is to realize that I need to hear that ‘ song/story’ again, to understand that math, the measure, the form, and then to assess and investigate, until I can un-tie the knot, the mis-take and ground the form/information back into what is a practical action with a stable relationship done in referencing the physical in all ways, always. In this, my starting point wills the ending point.

Last night I was playing with this, and I revisited a moment where I went into competition. I noticed that my thighs became inflamed . It is like needles of crystals climbing into the flesh, It hurts. I have to slow way down and realize the measure I am accepting and forgive it, transform it into what no longer moves, as being information, as belief, opinion of idea, as polarized value judgments, to realize what gives as I would receive .  I am already what it is that is life. That which follows this in-formation of value judgements that is the means of limitation, is that which can slow down and respect the physical. The physical being what is real.

I must realize my expectations, in self interest, in fear of survival as this is what I have accepted and allowed as a practice. All those ideas and desires, like wanting to have children, or wanting to move up in a career. Like wanting to be in a relationship, when the real relationship is here, as being physical, where there are many expressions, not only the limited touted as a value again and again. This the greed to create a life, within a narrow focus. Where one blames everything around one as not being effective. This act in itself a separation from moving into a solution that leaves no one behind.  This act usurious, rent seeking, believing that one knows. When the only solution is to be here, focused in every breath, in every move, realizing the nature of separation as the quantum measure, and the real significance, as the physical world. Within this can I ground myself here, remembering myself to the physical, where I could use the gift of myself , like that feral child, and sense that rabbit 20 meters away? Can I become the master of myself, which is to equalize to the physical world, as this is life information? If not me then who?

Remember the projections of Humpty Dumpty, are sourced from the physical. The stings of the limited information are visible, I need only slow down and stop competing. After all, what is real about who and what I am is physical. 

I can crystalize the water that is me into a fixed measure, or I can  master the flow of myself, as life, and remain constant and consistent with the physical as this is what is real. In effect, knowing myself as what I have accepted and allowed, and realizing where and when I constrict allowing myself to be defined by value judgements in survival, or I can realize the richness of myself as life, here. Within the nature of the richness of myself as life, is an ability to assess, to investigate, to slow down and hear the grass growing, to see the flicker of value judgements as personalities that can only scream the information accepted and allowed that has been allowed to define into a persona that is a separation from equality and oneness to and as life here, as the physical. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to be a reaction of blame.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move as a measure of spite and blame, about information instead of slowing down, assessing and investigating the form of what is here, as a mind consciousness, as values that become like an elephant-in-the-room that is an abstract about reality, and thus, a separation from  a compassion that is a starting point of what is best for all, realizing I am life and life in expression is physical.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move , to direct myself as beliefs, opinions and ideas, as information that I have accepted and allowed to define me causing a separation from seeing, realizing and understanding the value being life, which is physical and always in all ways, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to react to consequence within and as blaming the consequence and the fault of consequence instead of slowing down and breathing, grounding myself here, being as a starting point in respect of the physical in form and function, to see, realize and understand what is best for all, so that the ending point is the same as the starting point, this being equality and oneness, as the principle of give as I would receive, to realize in small movements, as how things are built, the expression of life as creation information.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand in every moment my acceptances and allowances in self interest, such as value judgements about information, be it personality, or abstracts as words about reality, as information touted and what I have accepted within where I am within a society that is in separation from being equal and one in respect of the physical world being the manifestation of life information.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to blame the story placed before me, as the information accepted and allowed, and to resist facing this information, that is often a - metaphysical- elephant-in-the-rrom entity, that has only the power I accept and allow it to have.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that my greatest strength is my ability to assess and understand as I am by nature that child that can learn to smell like a wolf, so great is the gift of life, able to assess and investigate form and function, which takes practice and time, hence in every moment, I make the decision  to in all ways, always, move from a starting point of what is best for all, as what takes that which is good and does no harm, to move a starting point of equality and oneness into an ending point, and within this to practice until the starting point of equality becomes the ending point here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that blame is  a form of protection and self defense, and therefor a reaction to consequences of a starting point in self interest, where the answer is within the formula, thus, to slow way down, assess and direct within and as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that blame is being lame, as in not taking the time to assess my own acceptances and allowances, and the information that lacks consideration of all things, thus, within and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I assess what is here, to see and realize with real eyes, what directs within grounding into a practical action that does no harm and gives what can remain constant and consistent.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge what is here, within and as the information I accepted and allowed as the programming of my experience within the society in which I was born as the values believed to be more than other values, to within and as me, slow way down and realize the value being life, and to consider all things, taking that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to move into self pity, for my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a self pity in relation to believing that no one understands me, as my value system, as a personality, and within this to see, realize and understand this measure of information and to within every moment remaining within breathing to slow down and ground myself here, becoming in thought word and deed that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that limitation is a threat, and to within this, slow way down, assess and ground myself here in the practical, to see, realize and understand a starting point of what is best for all, so that the ending point in every thought word and deed within and as who and what I am stands within the principle of what is best for all, as this is best for myself.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become intimidated by information.

When and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down.

When and as I find myself becoming blame, I stop, and I breath, and I asses what I am spiting as information, and I ground myself within my breath, to assess, to understand, to then move into solution as what is best for all, as what considers all things, to realize a starting point within my actions as the words I speak to create an ending point of respect for the real creation as the physical world.

When and as I find myself moving into protection and self defense as blame, I stop and I breath and I assess what information I am accepting and allowing within and without, and I assess and I check my physical body to see , realize and understand the richness of the life that is me, here, as all things are me in another life here.

When and as I find myself reacting, within and as my thighs and my chest area, as a constriction, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself way down, until I am gentle and calm, at ease, and stable, and I assess what designs are around me, and the practical nature of the physical, to see, realize and understand a compassion that takes that which is good and does no harm and makes clear the practical steps that lead to a solution.

When and as I find myself believing that the information around me, either in separation from reality, or the information of reality as the physical being too difficult to understand, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I see, and I realize, and I understand the practical as this is to consider all things as the function of the physical, to ground myself here, and move into solution as the simple movements here in the moment, as this is how life is built, from moment to moment, being present here, respecting the richness of life information as the physical.

When and as I find myself reacting to information, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I transform my within entity of ideas, beliefs and opinions, into what is grounded here, and in respect of the practice of physical living, to become the directive principle in every moment as every starting point to realize an ending point of what is best for all, in thought word and deed.

When and as I find myself moving into blame, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I catch what I have rejected and resisted, to realize my own generated limitations as beliefs, opinions and ideas, to assess and transform back into respecting the practice of physical living, giving as I would receive, to live in thought word and deed the richness of life, as the physical here.

When and as I find myself moving into anger, I stop and I breath, I slow myself down, and I realize the solution is to consider all things as the physical, to ground myself into the richness of life, as life being the real value, as the practice of respecting the physical.

When and as I find myself wanting to blame, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself way down and I see, realize and understand the habit of ignoring the emotional storm in fear of survival, as a behavior I have accepted and allowed, and I assess the information until I am stable, calm, steady and able to assess in clarity the measure within and without, to move into solutions that solve problems and ground presence into the richness of creation as the practice of respect for the physical, here.

When and as I find myself moving into self pity as a reaction for my own acceptances and allowances, and the shame of my self interest in protection and self defense in ignorance of the practice of respecting what is real as the physical, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that sadness is more of the same, as self pity, and self aggrandizement,  until I am stable within and as my breath, and I assess, and cross reference in relation to my physical body and the information as the measure of the practical physical world around me, and I take that which is good and does no harm, to become the living word of what is practical in step by step movement, to ensure that my presence is rich in awareness of all things, to live in thought, word and deed, what is best for all here.

Day 674 Value judgements as the data I allowed to define me in fear of being self responsible.

I looked at a memory that came up in relation to friend of mine of many years, that I do not have much to do with even though we live very close to one another.  I remember as a teenager that I would become annoyed with her because she tended to disappear suddenly when I was with other teenagers in the area where I spent my summers.  I remember becoming frustrated that this peer removed herself from the group in random and sudden ways. I felt as though that I was not good enough for her, and by association, when she was not there, I was missing something. I placed some value on her that I believed I lost when she was not present.

I ask myself what the values are that I projected onto her? I felt that she had grace and awareness that I did not have. And instead of listening to her, as in understanding her perspective, I made it into something that I lacked. Instead of standing up and realizing the measure of her insight, I allowed myself to believe that if I were not her steady friend it meant that I lacked that quality and others would realize this and I would be discovered to lack something.

I tend to use the words gentle and grace a lot in terms of what I deem important in others, I even have done this with my choices of men. I project a simple grace onto others believing that I somehow lack this. And yet, at times, when I was most calm, and relaxed, I could come forward and speak in ways that solved problems and calmed emotional storms, thus to say that I lack the steady insight that often needs no real force to show insight, is not something that I lack. 

I find I have a fear within being this.  And I have a sense, like in a video game when one has to move a figure though swinging doors, or swinging bolders of rock, that one has to time the move in such a way that the action figure manages to make it through the tricky ‘ gate’  in the way to their goal. A sense of fear of not making it through comes up. And, even within this, I have experienced being calm, watching the pattern of the obstacles movement and gently moving through it with ease. 

Hence, this is myself, when in fear, when in uncertainty, seeing the idea of not making it through over being present and sensing the space and the time in the physical movement. What I project onto this is an entity of ideas, beliefs and opinions in fear of loss and consequences of this loss made into this huge vision within me. Moving through the swinging rocks or doors, is a form, it is a shape, it has a rhythm, it has space between the movements, one can move through that space. One can sense that space, unless one believes the movie in one’s mind to be more real than the physical world one faces.

In relation to my friend, I realize that  what I projected onto her, was about me and not her. Also, there is an element of understanding that she disappeared because she was the same as myself, now that I have known her for many years.  It is having allowed information as ideas, beliefs and opinions within to be the guide instead of being here, in the physical, understanding from and function of physical reality, where, unfortunately there are many swinging doors and swinging rocks because I have allowed ideas, beliefs and opinions to be more real that what was actually real around me, as the physical. And the consequence of this lack of being present and gentle and careful in assessing the physical world as what one projected as a mind consciousness of fear based on lacking attention to the physical, and imposing a huge idea onto reality, has caused a systemic design that blocks access to being able to move unless one understands that system. And why, because unless one is grounded in reality, one does not have the responsibility to direct in ways that do no harm. The elite of this world have a  system to protect them from those who have allowed a mind consciousness of False Evidence Appearing Real as ideas, beliefs and opinions in the mind CONscience to direct the machine of one’s physical body, and this directive is too busy in fear, in that false information as measure, to be allowed to move onto the next level because there is no real self responsibility. Hence the elite try and order this world in a way that controls that lack in each. And, they are in the interim in fear of losing what they have, and end up projecting this same fear onto everything. So every one is fearing everyone else, which overall is a misuse of one’s physical body and memory into a separation from reality, the physical. This is that valley of the shadow of good and evil, this is the storm on earth, this is why heaven could exist and yet does not exist on this earth, on this reality.

What I projected onto my friend as having, was what I rejected within myself, because it meant that I had to face the storm of separation as the bubbles of beliefs that cover the earth as this mind consciousness of fear, of believing some information based on a picture in one’s mind , as memory, to be more real than reality. The emotions and feelings that one vents, as one can only speak what one is, as one can only form the information that is you, and that one perpetually sounds, as this is what is accepted and allowed, all the tensions and “ pulls’ into value as the colors one uses, intensified with staccato sounds, or elongated slurs,  will always reveal what measure one accepts, and the lack of definition in one’s sound structures as one’s words, through what we speak. 

Everything is heard, just as the inner whine I had about my friend, where I was crying my own lack,  chasing a value I believed my friend to have, ignoring the means as the values to realize myself because I feared really looking at what I was doing because it meant that I had to forgive what I accepted and stand up and be responsible. The irony is that what I sought was already me, I had just warped it into a distant value, way off there somewhere outside of me, via imagery, like a shattered self, like that humpty dumpty character in children’s stories. I mean those stories are there for a reason, so we cannot blame anyone for our lack, because the answers are always right in front of us. We have to become the directors of our within, and make sure it is as that action figure, standing there, sensing the rhythm of the life that is right here in front of us, and simply walking through the physical with grace and awareness, of which our physical selves when focused here are the perfect forms to be and do. 

Would this not be what was meant by being the living word? Is not the living word the words of the values of those swinging rocks and/or doors, and would not that measure, that data that comes directly from the physical world, be the means to understand the measure in space and time and enable one to sense the rhythms and forms and move with ease? As has been said, it is but a veil that separates one from life.

If we were to call that shattered self the survival character, that sounds the measure of fear, as false beliefs and ideas and opinions that are the self not looking here as physical practical reality, and that shattered self that cries lack because that is the measure accepted and allowed, what if that cry were much like a micro wave on the waters of life that is in everything on this earth? What is that microwave of limitation as beliefs, opinions and ideas of a whine of lack, could infiltrate the physical waters of this earth, and just as a micro wave destroy the water molecules and end up shattering the physical world slowly over time until there was nothing left? What if the trees around us, placed all over this earth were growing weaker and weaker because of the behaviors of an inner consciousness that was of value judgements of lack and the gain hoped for in racing from the believed and accepted lack as idea , belief and opinion within and as one’s mind consciousness, that shook and wavered within the limitation, that was what really microwaved existence to the point where the physical world shattered and fell apart? We all know that water can carry resonance, so is this not possible? If we look around is this not what is happening?

There are people who are writing words and placing them onto vessels holding water. The problem here is that this is not that person taking responsibility within themselves within and as the measure of themselves within. And yet, the answer is to be that action figure, to ground one’s self here, equal to the measure of the physical, and to assess the physical and move within the space of the physical, no judgement except to understand the living quality of the physical thing.

This takes slowing down, becoming respectful of the physical, and being respectful is being thankful, is being graceful, is being gentle, to realize the values, the qualities before one, and to move in accord with that living thing. We can do this, we can assess what we have accepted and allowed as the ghost in the machine that is a Humpty Dumpty, a system of false evidence appearing to be real that if one looks has charged values that pull one into an alternate reality of measure that stops one from moving here in grace and ease, as is the capacity of self as a physical being, just as you learned to crawl and to walk, to pet an animal, to sense the quality of water, to enjoy the coolness of ice cream, all of this is the capacity of you as a physical form, the warped values are like a pull into an idea, that if this has been allowed has become a habit, automated, layered and determining of your actions. This can all be balanced and reformed, as your neurons will move and change, yet, this has to be done by each.

Ground yourself, breath, slow down, begin to see the entity of beliefs, opinions and ideas, begin to see what projections pull you into that constant conflict of value judgement, as this is self chasing a value that is already within and as what you really are. What you resist is what persists, because what you resist is the means to your self responsibility which is what you really seek, as this is what will calm the waters of life, within and without, and ground presence here, to enable the presence of you as life, to build an understanding of life, to become the creator you are meant to be. 

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to judge my friend as having something I believed I did not have.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being considered lacking in a quality such as being gentle which I associated with being aware and insightful, believing myself to lack this ability, within and as believing myself to be unworthy, when what I was busy with was a belief in a lack, based on a past where I rushed in desire not slowing down to assess the world around me, as I accepted and allowed an excitement to direct me as a value judgement in self interest, without slowing down to see, realize and understand the physical world around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to within this, become ashamed of myself, as within this, there is a presence that I am aware of what it is that I am doing as I allowed a fear of  failure based on the same actions that caused the mis-take to determine who and what I believed myself to me, and as a consequence accumulated a memory of lack, that was not grounded in the practical reality around me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being present here, and to fear being labeled as not being good enough, as not being lucky enough, where luck simply means that I had enough information to direct to and towards what I desired, and the opposite as unluck simply means that I did not investigate enough to allow myself to accomplish a goal.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to chase after another person and then to react to that person’s resistance instead of seeing realizing and understanding that this was about me, this reaction was my own self interest, based on an idea of who and what I was instead of being present here, applying practical applications that valued the physical characteristics of the life that was /is me that is all around me, where the rhythm and design and movement of that life is visible and able to be sensed and moved with and as in clarity and calm, and certainty and steadiness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear pointing this out against the storm of beliefs, opinions and ideas of and as entities that are ghosts  in the machine within men, creating hued men, as walking mind consciousness bubbles in separation from the practical reality, where the only solution is to ground myself, assess here, equalize my within to the without as what is here, and a system that is the consequence of the separation of men from reality, to within and as every breath, to remain in understanding with the physical, as this is the way and the means to ground the ideas , beliefs and opinions that I have allowed to define me, to move into being grounded in reality, seeing realizing and understanding that this is stabilizing the physical world that is what life is, as life would be physical information working in synergistic and symbiotic ways and means as creation would be and do, sharing the means of being as each can understand because all is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel that it is too late,

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that it is never too late, as creation is life, and life is built of sound information, hence the only way and means is to realize this, and to value the physical around me as me, as this is life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel I have wasted myself being a mind consciousness of self interest,   instead of realizing the value is life and remaining grounded in every move, taking that which is good and does no harm.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that facing the storm of separation as a mind consciousness infiltrating the waters of life in the wold around me is impossible to sort out, when the solution is to walk here, to remain grounded and to realize the practical in relation to respecting the physical world, and how I can build a memory of storied/layered information that is of value judgements in separation from the practice of assessing reality, which means that it is understood as to how this works, as the media uses this in self interest, as each is doing within themselves, to program layers of information that comes to direct the machine as the physical creating personalities that then assess in the present collection of data on each personality to order the system, yet this is overall a system of separation from the physical world, from life, and a system that will destroy the physical as it is not equal and one to the practice of living in creation, equal and one.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand how that data collection is myself, as I collected data, as measure about my friend, in a desire to be associated with that data, I allowed to become a god of information that I then chased, not seeing realizing and understanding that I projected what I lacked onto another, as what I had rejected to be do and have, as the ability to assess the reality around me and move in self responsible ways, as this behavior was a self abdication that I turned into a smoke and mirrors show of chasing a desire and labeling myself as inferior, instead of slowing down and realizing I rejected the means I sought, as being grounded here in reality,, so I rejected what was me, what was my greatest strength and ended up chasing my own rejection,  which was overall a picture show within and as me.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that practice of being physical, as assessing the physical world around me, is the means to the end, as the grounding of myself here, which is fun, and the ability of myself as life here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to give up my own self pity that is a consequence of all of this.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear being happy, because I fear the joy of self responsibility will cause conflict within and as a world where a mind consciousness reigns as a paranormal entity as a ghost in the machine that screams its lack which is a measure, a layer of information, which we all see, realize and understand as we compare ourselves to others and project values as measures onto others and believe as I have done that that value is not what I am,  which is myself telling myself what I have rejected - as in what i have created within and as me-where the only solution is to ground myself here, no matter what, as this is being equal and one and in respect of life.

When and as I find myself becoming energy, as what a projection that is charged with a value judgement is within and as me, I stop, and I breathe, and I slow myself down, and I become calm, gentle, steady, and I assess the measure of the physical world around me, to see the rhythm and form inherent in the design, and I become equal and one to the practical application of creation as the physical to realize that which does no harm and takes that which is good and respect the value being life, here.

When and as I find myself  longing for a value in the guise of desiring to be associated with another person, I stop and I breath, and I slow  myself down and I see, realize and understand what I fear, where I fear being myself as the capacity inherent in what and who I am, as the ability to assess the practical world as the physical here, and my own accepted and allowed energetic values and I ground this in the practical here, becoming the practice of allowing myself to be gentle, to be calm, to assess, investigate, become aware of, life, here, as the physical.

When and as I find myself reacting to wanting to associate with someone or something, I stop and  I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize the value I have projected through association as a belief, opinion or idea, and I become calm, and assess the characteristics of the physical reality around me, and my habits of belief, until I am calm, stable, serene, steady, seeing realizing and understanding that all mis-takes can be corrected as this is how I learned to crawl and to walk, to build understanding here, thus in every moment I can slow down, assess and direct in ways that cause no harm as this is myself being in respect of creation, which is myself being thankful for the life that is me that is all around me as me, here.

When and as I find myself fearing to be at ease, to be happy, to be in joy of being here, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I practice being grounded here, in respect of the physical and in cross reference of what I have accepted and allowed as value judgements within and as me, as the layered information that I use to assess in self interest, which reveals how I become the information I accept and allow in separation from considering all things and building an awareness that is layered with practical application in respect of the physical, to be and live in equality and oneness with and as life, which is to become the living word here.

When and as I find myself fearing to be practical in the face of limited information within and without, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I see realize and understand that my fear is simply false evidence appearing real, as value judgements as fear of loss, as hope for a gain, as a label/construct of information I seek in self interest, and I come back down to earth, realizing the value is being here, equal and one to and as the physical.

When and as I find myself tensing up in my chest area, I stop and I breath, and I assess the data, as the measure of my beliefs, opinions and ideas, flowing down from a mind consciousness into my solar plexus and into my chest, I stop and I breathe, and I ground myself here, assessing the physical world, to build self trust in being present here, equal and one to and as life as the physical.

When and as I find myself becoming uncertain, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I realize where I exist within and as myself as a value judgement that is data, that I have accepted and allowed to layer within and as me, and I assess the wold around me, to consider all things, to become the change I want to see, in thought word and deed, until I am stable, calm, serene, grounded, present, and I direct within the practice of physical beingness, here.

When and as I find myself resisting what is here, I stop and I breath, and I assess within and without as the sum of the layered information I have accepted and allowed to define me in fear of survival and as a consequence an action of self interest , to instead become/practice a more synergistic action with myself in tandem with reality, which means to work in coordination with what is here, where the sum of the parts as including the physical, working together creates a whole expanding in awareness in thought word and deed in equality and oneness with creation information, the physical.

Day 563 Facing the Shadow World of Limitation.

I realize that in talking with others, where i have to change the measure of their words that I become full of friction. I fear standing up against their belief constructions. Even though I begin to do this, I still find myself being anxious about it, trying to manipulate what they are saying to  keep it polite and thereby missing revealing my own personal experiences in ways that show my own process. It is like I am used to talking in competition, where i say what I did and how it worked. I don’t reveal my own misgivings in my own process, my own limitations of belief that I had to get past.

For example, in the situation above, I could say that my child was having a problem with understanding something, one time, and I had to get out of my own head, my own worries, my own interests and occupations, and also move through an idea that maybe I would not be able to help my son with his school work which I did not want my son to know. So, I was afraid and annoyed and yet I did it. What I found was in stopping within my own self interests, I distanced myself from my own worries and sometimes found solutions, and the school work I had to help with was not so scary, and sometimes I even encountered a perspective from my children that revealed insights I would not have discovered. So, in the end it was cool.

In so many ways, our limitations as our beliefs, opinions and ideas, are a shadow world, composed of feelings and emotions; they are not real. My fear, was a shadow based on an idea of loss, one that had no common sense directive. So, in a sense, my fear of facing measures of limitation as the words of others, is a fear of dispersing a shadow. Shadows can appear to be tumultuous storm clouds but in  a special effect only, what is behind them is a practical world, the measure of which is right there in front of us, we need only look to see, realize and understand that what we think is ominous is of our own ma-king.