Day 228 Consequence Dimension: Apprehension Character

Super Nervous (Photo credit: andres.thor)

Consequence Dimension Apprehension Character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to tense up, in fear , within a state of dis-ease, as a separation from here, becoming a reaction of confusion, allowing racingthoughts of a competition to survive, giving greater and lesser values to what is here instead of focusing myself here, equal and one with and as the physical, as this is what is real, where the projections of my mind are a personification of protection and defense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see that biting my nails, as a habit, is a distraction within a belief in choice, where there is no choice, but the choice to be life, here, and thus equal and one to all existent as earth.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see that in biting my nails, I cannot possibly be here, as I am too busy biting my nails.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that in biting my nails I am in apprehension about the future, as thus I am projecting into the future based on my past, which is a reaction in and as a fear of loss, which is a state of being that is not a directive principle as what is best for all, where this being of myself as what is best for all can only happen here within the moment here, as here, with the physical; what is real and where self can direct self. Thus, the means of preventing myself from separation, is to remain here, to touch something physical, and to investigate how this earth functions to see, realize and understand that valuing life means providing all life with the means of existence freely given by earth/life, where such measures that value life, would lead to self honesty as life,preventing the behaviors of fear and dis-ease manifest as ill health, starvation, child sex trafficking, to a name a few.

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself wanting to bite my nails, when my fingers begin to pick at one another, or I sense myself raising my finger to my mouth, even that one seeming subtle movement - which I have allowed to become an automation of myself here in ignorance of myself within breath, within common sense of here in totality- to stop and to breath, and to see, realize and understand the voices in and as my mind and this small seeming movement of myself - in fact being an energetic possession- has no common sense of here, being equal and one to this physical world.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding that within biting my nails, I exist within confusion, as friction and conflict from what is real here, as I allow running thoughts, like a roller deck of thoughts as taught values of more than and less than, like a “flipping though” these taught values, searching and seeking answers in and as the mind, where all that I am allowing is comparison as to what value will lead me forward, as I have accepted the mind policeman to offer choices, where no choice can be found, except within deciding between a supposed “lesser evil” not seeing, realizing and understanding that this is only moving within a fear of loss as negative and positiveconsequences, trying to find a consequence of more positive outcome than “negative outcome, instead of realizing there is really only one choice, and that is the choice of what is best for all, which is allowing myself to be myself here as life, in self honesty, in common sense of here one and equal to and as the physical, where movement as one and equal to “here” in common sense, creates actions that prevent consequences I perceive to cause less harm than other choices, as though this is all that exists within choice.

I commit myself to recognize the advent of myself within nail biting to not allow myself to be consumed by the roller decks of the mind as thoughts of weighing and measuring possible losses and gains as limited values, as what has been taught, and to stop and to breath, and to touch something physical here, to bring myself back to here, to see, realize and understand that it is only here that I am life, that it is only here, that I stand within common sense as sound mind in consideration of all life, as I am of the same substance as what is here in all forms that exist.
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Day 227 Fear Dimension: Apprehension character

Nail biting (Photo credit: JonasPhoto)

Fear Dimension Apprehension Character
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear competition.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become overwhelmed within surviving within a hierarchy where I have to perform within certain standards to remain within the race of maintaining a status within society.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to look only to what will provide a certain status within the existent system instead of realizing self direction and self honesty within a sustained strength as what is best for all, where no worry, or fear, of sense of loss exists, as within this, there is no need to lie, or pretend, no need to worry, or see only an obstacle of having made existing within the present system seem daunting and insurmountable.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to begin to worry and fret about losing a library book and having to tell my parents, becoming embarrassed because I had not been responsible with a book.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear the future, when the future is not even here, and thereby missing what was here within this moment.
I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the act of biting my nails, is myself going into self diminishment in and as allowing myself to create huge seeming tasks out of simple practical steps laid out before me in common sense.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have preferred to play with my friends in second grade than stay after school for help after we had moved from one state to another, where the curriculum was different.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have feared spelling in the third grade, fearing I would be seen as incapable because I remember having a hard time spelling the word “radish” and to this day I still remember being afraid it would be found out that I did not know how to spell the word radish.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have believed that there was something to be lost and thus began to be apprehensive about the future, and to have kept the loss of a library book from my parents for fear I would be scolded for not having taken care of this book.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have begun to worry about where I was within a social structure, to have allowed myself to become socially conscious in around the second and third grade, where in second grade I had worried more about the wrath of my parents, and in the third grade I had begun to worry about what my peers would think of me within not being able to spell a word.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to proceed from this point within becoming overwhelmed with where I was in society and thus began to worry about what others would think of me within performance in school.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see the future within my peer group and school with dis-ease and fear, thereby becoming apprehensive about my future and worrying about possible outcomes, such as losing a library book, or not knowing how to spell a word.


I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that when and as I begin to bite my nails, I tense up and become a state of apprehension, as dis-ease and fear, overwhelming myself with thoughts of “what if”through imagining possible future outcomes of loss instead of practically looking at what is here, as I can only move myself within and as what is directly here,
Thus, I commit myself to , when and as I want to go into biting my nails, I stop and I breath, and I bring myself back into the physical, utilizing breath, to stand equal and one in and as breath, to reference the physical, as what is best for all, as this can only be done here.
I commit myself to realizing that self direction and self honesty cannot be found within separation as fear of loss as this is judgement and thus a lack of being equal and one with all life, here.

The Century of Self : Part 1 Happiness Machines

http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

Psywar

http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/

The Trap

http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

The Power Principle

http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

Catastroika - Greek Documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoNjVMhmBfM

The Marketing of Madness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vnuMhlPn9TA#!

Desteni

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Journey To Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Creation's Journey To Life

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Day 226 Behavior Dimension : Apprehension Character

English: Onychophagia. REALLY bad nail biting. Over 6 years of biting down MUCH too far. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Behavior Dimension Apprehension Character

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand changes within and as my human physical body as thoughts, emotions and feelings as energypossess and become a persona of judgements in fear of loss or desire for gain, that manipulates me into separation from responsibility of equal and one interaction with what is actually physically here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I change from not biting my nails, it becomes obvious that I do not need to bite my nails, as a moment before I was not biting my nails.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand what thought , emotion and feeling precipitated nail biting, to have realized the motivation to bit my nails and thus investigate what I was accepting and allowing that would distract me from remaining here, equal and one , as breath.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that biting my nails, is like eating myself, thus it is a physical reaction to what I am accepting and allowing when and as I become mind, and how this separation into and as mind, is myself absent of life, and diminishing myself into energy, turning myself into a shattered Humpty Dumpty, that only I can piece back together again.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand there is a tension that comes just as I go to pick at my fingers and/or bite at my finger nails with my teeth, obviously as this movement of myself in itself produces this, which is not good or bad, but when repeated again and again as a habit then it is indicative of tension and compression within and as me here, means I am suppressing myself as not being here, as ease.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to allow myself to go into a sate of dis-ease physically as I move into and as a personality of myself wondering about the future within a “what if” scenario, based on my past, where I become the personality of apprehension, a state of dis-ease and fear, which in common sense is not being direct here, investigating how here works and directing myself in self honesty, equal and one with and as the physical in common sense of here.

I commit myself to remaining here, to no longer allowing and accepting myself to step into a personality, via tensing up and biting my nails, allowing myself to go into apprehension, to see, realize and understand what I am in fact doing as my human physical body, as it responds to apprehension as thoughts, emotions and feelings within tensing up, where as I tense up and go into my mind, I begin to resonate with and as the apprehension as the fear and dis-ease, as separation from here, being one and equal with and as the physical here, that which supports life here.

I commit myself to slowing myself down and remaining here, in and as breath, to see, realize and understand the movement of myself here, in detail, with specificity, remaining in and as breath, to see, realize and understand what i am in fact allowing myself to exist as in separation from becoming one and equal in and as life, here.

I commit myself to seeing, realizing and understanding, that just as without, so it is within, where investigation to how things move as myself here, with and as the physical will reveal what has been accepted as self here within suppressing self from being as at ease, forgiving as self as life, and as within so without, as what is here, accepted and allowed as a system can be investigated as how what as this system functions, to see , realize and understand that what is here as the resource of life, composed of the substance of life, is not in fact flowing/moving/being forgiving and supportive of life, allowing life as what is here as earth to move in oneness and equality, as a profit based system, where men subjectively place a name of ownership onto resource and then have what is here as life pay to be life - this that is the value- to exist within struggle and fear is in essence to place the life on this earth into and as struggle and fear, to thus limit expression of life here, which is a crime against life, as life is the gift and not something to be rejected into and as being suppressed within a system of a so(u)ld existence as personality and memories of past events.

The Century of Self : Part 1 Happiness Machines

http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

Psywar

http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/

The Trap

http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

The Power Principle

http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

Catastroika - Greek Documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoNjVMhmBfM

The Marketing of Madness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vnuMhlPn9TA#!

Desteni

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Journey To Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

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Day 225 Reaction Dimension ; Apprehension Character

darls (Photo credit: jekert gwapo)

Reaction Dimension Apprehension Character

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand how I have used emotions and feelings to manipulate myself to fall back into the mind/personality instead of standing here with self in stability as Breath, within this I use, as personalities, emotions and feelings to activate specific behavioral patterns/habits to in/as this process validate why/how it is that I have a Personality and so in this attempt/try to make a personality more real.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have made my fears so big, my separations from here, so big that I carry them with me as a burden, weighing myself down from an ease of being here, and within this hiding the apprehension, as fear within and as myself, weaving/constructing an ignorance/hiding from my fear. A loop of disrespect and rejection of self as life, which has reverberated into and as the present system on earth, where life on earth is being destroyed in ignorance of life- as the physical- in favor of self interested validation based on limited ideas of what self is as self moves in fear and ignorance as a movement of separation from what is substantive merely because of never having faced a make believe fear of loss as self as life, as the idea of self within loss has been made more than the substance of self as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I begin to bite my nails, I become a projection of anxiety and fear, as apprehension, which is in essence a validation of not actually looking here and standing up as life here, where as a child, - as a memory comes up within this- I once allowed my sister to take the blame of something for me, and I would not allow this, so I went to my parents and said it was me, but they did not believe me, and even though I secretly was glad I still did not have to take the consequence of my actions, actually having stood up and attempted to face my own fear and consequence, I was denied, and with this I could develop a self validation that I had been honest and also that I had not been clear and strong enough in my confession, there by creating a polarity of the good and the bad where if I stand back and look at all this, how can a child stand up against all the self validating separations of the adults not having faced their own fears and thus walking as personalities of perpetual self validation that is in itself lacking in being directive in equal acceptance of life, directive as life, as the lens of self is clouded by a fear of perceived loss.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a reaction as a negative emotion as apprehension where I begin to bite my nails, worrying about losing something, where within this I realize i have been taught that worry is a good thing, as part of an accepted process of solution, when what I am allowing is myself existing within separation of direct seeingin and as the physical as what is here, and instead, react as mind within worry, to end up seeking a positive self validation- to placate indecision as moving myself to seek help, or accepting that the problem will eventually be solved, or saying to myself I can’t resolve this now and thus brush the issue under the rug- so to speak, all of which is simply spreading my own separation into and as fear, all over the place, and thus not facing that my apprehension is a tantrum, a storm in a teacup, recognizable as complicating things, as this being the spinning of confusion, where the solution is probably very simple, if I would only stop and look, and not allow myself to go into nail biting.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that going into worry and apprehension is not actual physical problem solving, and only confusion and fear, a confusion of memories from the past, self within energy as e-motion and feeling, creating friction and conflict into a less than and a more than, instead of being here, seeing direct and clear in and as the physical.

I commit myself to seeing realizing and understanding that when and as I become the reaction, as emotions and feeling of/as energy, I become non directive as self as life, I lose my own self trust as common sense as life, I separate from self honesty, into and as re-action of fear, as I begin to re-act this fear as biting my nails

I commit myself to, when and as I see myself becoming separate from here, into confusion as separation as mind and away from simplicity as here as the physical, to stop and breath and no longer allow myself the habit as re-action of apprehending as fear of loss, as clearly this is not being directive as life here.

I commit myself to stop and to breath and to no longer manipulate through projecting a personality of fear of loss as reaction within believing i must be apprehensive about the future, when in fact, it is not the “future” that is here, it is what is “here” that is here, the physical.

I commit myself to make the choice to breath and remain here, and not allow myself to go into nail biting as the reaction of myself in apprehension, as the only choice is to investigatepractical solutions and be here within what is best for all here.

The Century of Self : Part 1 Happiness Machines

http://youtu.be/prTarrgvkjo

Psywar

http://metanoia-films.org/psywar/

The Trap

http://archive.org/details/AdamCurtis_TheTrap

The Power Principle

http://metanoia-films.org/the-power-principle/

Human Resources: Social Engineering in the 20th Century

http://metanoia-films.org/human-resources/

Catastroika - Greek Documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoNjVMhmBfM

The Marketing of Madness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vnuMhlPn9TA#!

Desteni

Equal Money

Eqafe  

Free Eqafe Interviews

Journey To Life

Heaven's Journey To Life

Creation's Journey To Life

Earth's Journey To Life