The more-than and the less-than symbols The Olympics of the mind Day 715

I can catch more and more myself moving into a spin in my mind, churning information around. Ugh.

Within this, I have a memory that is of a movement. It is myself, as a child, squeezing myself into something, like trying to fit into a piece of clothing that is too small. Is this myself, as that child, trying to see the way my parents see, to get along, to go along, or did I do this without judgement , just to try it out, out of curiosity and then get caught in the web, where I began to chase the promise of this that I was lost in that was the impetus to chase the promise of a more, a greater-than? lol, another memory comes up of using the greater and less-than symbols in elementary school. The  < and the > symbols. I remember being very confused by these symbols, I remember forcing myself to focus on them, as though I did not want to take this in. It seemed such a small and useless thing.  It has value. I guess. lol. 

Did this then lead to becoming a member of the code of these symbols, and then I started to play with such symbols, believing myself to be more intellectual, while ironically at the same time being scared that I did not see the obvious meaning of these strange symbols right away as I compared myself to my peers, the ones who had already crossed into being in understanding of this code? Did I define myself as my shame that was based on comparison that was a starting point of competition? These symbols were no longer ‘ only what they were’ they became something else, they had an emotional back log, one that become a resonant part of me, and remained to be a part of a shield of belief about myself that I carried around and had to process through as I moved myself in reality. I wonder if this was at about the third grade, that age, that period where the promise in children who have not accumulated such baggage can still process the objects in the world, even the value judgements in others that are the same stuff of accumulated baggage that begins to slow down one’s innate ability to process information. Was I entering this stage where as the infamous TED talk suggests that by the third grade child can no longer come up with 100 ways to use a paper clip. I probably entered the age of my own suppression of a natural ability through a layered emotionally charged story self accepted and self created, that started with myself squeezing myself to fit into that same outcome in my parents that lead to following an idea of a more, when I was that more to begin with!

This is the reason for the tool of self forgiveness and self corrective application, to use that great technology that is your physical body, that is by nature of great neural plasticity, to remove, through forgiveness those limited and polarized self judgements and to restore who and what you really as, as you as life, able and capable of realizing hundreds of ways to use a paper clip.

If not for yourself, at least do it for life, for the children to come, and the many sentient beings on this earth that abundantly surround us. The system of scarcity is an illusion, yet to step out of this, each must accept who and what they are as life, and realize their potential. No one can do this for you, you must do this for yourself. 

Join us. There are tools, and they are here to help you help yourself. Time to get this done.

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity
https://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_changing_education_paradigms

Day 107 The character of sweetness

I was in a school one day and this little girl kept coming up to me, giving me attention etc. She was what would be called sweet. The teacher later came up to me and said that, yes, she was sweet. She then said that the children who are not doing well in their school work, often become the character of sweetness, as it gets them attention and gives them a niche within society. 

I realize I use this as well, at times, become sweetness of character, to belong.

This is not using common sense. This is fearing looking at what is here and understanding what is here. This is singularly seeking belonging,  in a physical world where, as one is here, is already within “belonging.” 

Yet, imposed within this physical world, here, where we are, thus we are being along with this physical world, we have allowed a system of competition and survival, choosing to not realize our own belonging to this world.

Our education system, our financial system, our environmental system make no sense, do not develop common sense within people, and do not practice common sense within agricultural practices.

Even within the educational system, there have been people who have stood up and said that teachers are given a new program to teach every five years ( big money) and thus, are never given a chance to use their own common sense. They are always being directed, and never having a moment to stop and actually look at what is here, and must instead follow, follow, follow. They must stand up within this, and the only way is to change this system, and this means changing what money represents. Money is the blood of this earth, and this blood is flowing into mainly one organ, it is not taking what sustains, as what it represents, and distributing it fully to support the whole organism. An organ cut of from sustenance is struggling to survive, gasping for air, and thus is so caught up in this struggle, the dizzying effects of gasping for life does not allow common sense to thrive.

A child choosing a character of sweetness, is the same. This child lacks self development, has gotten behind, and sees no hope, and thus in an effort to survive chooses what will enable acceptance. 

Then, the teachers and the students go home and watch television, go home and build dreams in their minds, pictures to color in. We have coloring books in our schools and we learn to color in, instead of actually draw. We go home and color in, as our minds as pictures, a fairy tale fantasy world, as our minds in separation of what is here, the real air, a gift of life, to live for real.

On the borders of our self colored in minds of a fairy tale, in separation from what is here, is the darkness and the monsters, the fear of no longer having our dreams, our fairy tales.

And we ask why this world is being abused, or we do not want to look, because we must give up of coloring books that are our minds, and actually stand up and reorganize this world to support the “real” story, where we can physically live and play and interact with what is here, and not with imagery as the mind.

It is really very simple, and would not take that much if we all stood together and decided to use our common sense one and equal with the physical as guide as what is real and realize that the only thing that will fall is the fairy tale in the mind, and right here the physical would catch us. 

Our present system build separation as mind, through the building of fairy tales, with all the good and the bad within the tale. But this is just a reflection of what we have allowed and accepted.

A child is so much more than just being a character of sweetness. This singularity of character creates dependency instead of self direction and understanding within common sense.

That a child is/has become a “driving force “ as sweetness, means that behind - in the shadows- is the fear, the dis-ease. She is running from a sense of not surviving. And there is no other place to go, as common sense and self development are not within the world around her.

And if questioned, many just say, “I am doing my best,” and more often than not, cannot even explain what that best really means. So singular are they themselves within their own care-actors for survival.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become the character of sweetness.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear no longing belonging socially should I not remain within the character of sweetness, where if I step out of character I will cause upset of expectation and thus become ostracized within the group.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to not look at what exists, as I may have to say something to my best friend which will cause the relationship to end and thus I will no longer have my friend and will be alone, when in fact I was not living while ignoring my own common sense and existing as being a character of sweetness before that which is the real value, the value of life, before my own self interested survival ignoring what is best for all in common sense.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear losing my footing should I step out of the character of sweetness, not realizing that within stepping out of character, I might actually develop a care actor within and as common sense as what is best for all is best for myself, and thus I would no longer have a life as a fairy tale in and as my mind, and instead, actually learn to exist multidimensionally one and equal to a real picture/reality as what is physically here, that which is the real “toy” to “play” with.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I must face the illusory monsters of the mind in order to see how much of a mirage they really are to step beyond them and see what is physically real on this earth, and take the time to look at the absence of ease existent on this earth which is due to the lack of common sense of actual physical reality.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I require the imposition of an image, in and as my mind to direct me, not realizing that this becomes bigger than life and consumes the physicality of myself and thus do I age and diminish back into dust, never transcending equally with  this physical real world.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the present system of capitalism adds a name to resource and controls how this resource is distributed without consideration and regard for the care of this earth, evident within the existence of starvation, the destruction of the soils on this earth,  the non development of the human to use common sense ( I mean some people cannot even use a hammer!).

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to stand back and to question why a child has become the character of sweetness, to realize in totality the functioning of the present system on this earth, to investigate the money system , the agricultural system, the health system, the government, and to actually look at the structures and not take the word of someone within the system who fears for their own survival and is choosing to not look, as this would mean they would have to stand up and support what is real, this physical world, where best practices are known, yet a best practice does not divide and conquer and thus allow a few to own, as best practices often develop autonomy and self direction, allowing the nature of what is here to express itself.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that “sweetness” cannot really exist as an absolute, without hidden monsters in the shadows as the fear of survival - as the imposed driving image that stagnates the absolute expressive-as-life ability of that child- until all life is given what is needed to maintain the organ of self and the surrounding environment in and as what is real, where life is lived for real, here and not as some belief, opinion and idea built to maintain a separation from what is actually physically, in common sense, here.

I commit myself to developing my own common sense of myself as a physical being, and to remain within a sense of my breath in every moment.

I commit myself to realize the real air, that is here, physically here, through remaining aware of my breath in every moment, even within moments where I see I am reacting to an idea in and as my mind when I am interacting with others.

I commit myself to breathing and reading blogs of self forgiveness for twenty one days no matter what, to begin to see, realize and understand the existence of myself in and as images in and as my mind, to become aware of how much I have separated myself from what is actually physically real.

I commit myself to realizing my own ability as life to look.

I commit myself to realizing my own ability as life to hear.

I commit myself to realizing my own ability to develop an awareness of my breath in every moment with every step I take.

I commit myself to realizing that I am more than the character of sweetness.

I commit myself to stepping out of the character of sweetness, to become one and equal to what is real, this physical world, able to be organized in such as way that all life is supported, so that the sweetness of what is real, as life can begin.

I commit myself to realize how my character facades mask my fears and that this polarity of character within is the fairy tale/tail of my own separation from what is actually physically real as what I am actually in perception of, is an imagination in separation from physical practical common sense.

I commit myself to stepping out of my own accepted and allowed self definitions that are self interested survival defense mechanisms, and to use  the breath, to realize myself here as what is real, this physical world, the real story, where becoming one and equal to this physical world, is like having a real “playground” as life, a ground as earth to build as a system that supports all life equally, where no matter where I walk, I am able to express myself as life, and not to fear for my survival, walking on battlefields of destroyed earth as a few divide and conquer to live a limited fairy tale existence in separation from life, as many of the ones who benefit the most, just appear to exist as a mannikin of polished presentation and do not have any real skills other than appearing shiny and new like a fancy sports car where I have to ask myself, “Is this life?”

No it is not, it is only a polished object as vapid and useless as much of the obsolescent products placed beneath shiny bright lights that exist within our stores and nothing else.

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Day 102 The sigh of avoidance character

Day 102 The sigh of avoidance character

My mother was here the other day. Religion came up. She stood up, sighed and turned to walk away. This one movement of standing, sighing and turning away, my twin sister has been here and done the same, and so have I. Like peas in a pod, the same action again and again. How many generations?

This is “giving up,” this is believing things are impossible, in-passable, that my shit is holier than yours, that “I know”. Yet, all of this is an avoidance character. I avoid becoming involved so that I do not have to deal with the “shit.”  I sigh and walk away. As though I am above, and within this supposed “abovness” I become the “holier than thou” salvation character, where I “save” no one, I just end up stewing in my own self pity, for having wanted to save and thinking I tried.

What I am avoiding is life, is myself, is realizing that all actions as dramatic events on this earth are the outflow of what is accepted and allowed that is the image and likeness of myself as I am all as one as equal. The resolution of this emotion and feeling is in separation from what is physically here, the pixels are not aligned with this physical world.

And this physical world, is ignored  as the movement of the care actor is deemed of  import. A storm on what is actually here, where I as life am here, this physical world - as myself as a physical being - need not seek attention and acknowledgement through incessant peek-a-boo validation as the only real validation is being physical, one and equal with and as the physical world.

My care acting is for emotions and feelings and thoughts, composed of wants , needs and desires, to ensure survival in a system of for-gotten values as we fear “picking up the violin” meaning this physical world and playing with and as the physical world. Where all it takes is realizing the form and structure of the physical and learning how to place our fingers on the strings. Something each and every one of us can do. What is here is known, we know how to take care of this physical world, yet we have allowed a system, where those that fear playing the violin have grabbed what appears to be an easy sustenance that is not of real full self development as life, and build a battle field of war to protect their own fear of being and becoming life, of picking up this physical world, meaning becoming one and equal to this physical world, and standing up in full interplay with and as this physical world. Where this is only existent when earth becomes heaven on earth, as this is interaction with the “violin” in full matched per form as all that is here “stance.” No parent/real “god” would have it any other way. As this is the opportunity to be and become life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a character of avoidance, where in standing up and sighing, I stand on a soap box, pick up a self pity rag to hold my tears - that tare at my flesh, and within my character of superiority I become the character of the rejected savior, believing that I know and am mis-understood.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that standing up and sighing, is myself in separation from life, as I am not here, one and equal to this physical world, and am imposing ideas and beliefs and opinions that are a story of belief in and as my mind, in separation from what is actually physically here, as I believe there is some god and holy place just waiting to realize how special I am, thus can I stand up and walk away, avoid what is here, avoid facing the limited view point of selected pixels of belief , opinion and idea, that ignore what is physically here, what is tangible with my human physical hands.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that the desire for sex, in and as needing an image in and as my mind, to stimulate my human physical body, is no different than needing an image of a god surrounded with angels ( an even this image is limited as who the hell wants to go and sit with a supposed “god” surrounded by angels - how fucking boring), as both are seeking a limited means of self expression, and if one would look it becomes obvious that what one believes is an escape to a “better place” has no real substance beyond the image, and just as with sex, the image and action with image is never satisfying and must be perpetually sought, an action mimicked in the drugs sold for health were health is never achieved or the drugs would no longer be necessary.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to realize that when I stand up and I sigh and I turn to move away, I am existing in and as my mind, in judgement, fixed in stone, engraving my own tombstone, and not here, in and as breath, equalizing myself as one and equal to what is physically real, here as life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that this character of “giving up” is avoiding being here, facing what is here, which is to say NOT facing the separations accepted and allowed as emotions, thoughts and feelings, desires, wants and needs, as what is being accepted and allowed, instead of realizing what is physically here as what is real, a constant that moves and does not move.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the energetic rushes as emotions and feelings are the separations of myself from life, the outplay of ideas and opinions and beliefs, within a bubble that turns me into a human light bulb and consumes my flesh, where I am really like a firefly on earth in separation from earth, and not here one and equal to what is real, the support of myself here, this physical world.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that all emotions and feelings are different densities of energy, one is perceived as a negative feeling and the more dense, the positive emotion , yet the two within their spectrum of intensity are the separation of myself into and as wants, desires and needs, based on beliefs , opinions and ideas, within a system of inequality, known as capitalism, presented as democracy,  where my energetic movements in and as myself are based in fear of survival, and thus myself ignoring this physical sustaining world as the physical as life, where it is known how to sustain what is here on this planet, yet the storm of survival/fear and thus the creation of competition is the separation, as the human is at war with himself and not existing in the principle of equality, the giving as you would like to receive, the answer that has been given and is known by each and every one of us.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that emotions and feelings are based on thoughts, as ideas, opinions, and beliefs that are what has been taught by parents, which was taught by their parents etc. within a society that reflects inequality and thus all that has been conveyed through time, a conveyor belt of separation from what is real, this physical world, is causing the destruction of this earth as the human is ignoring understanding of how the present systems work, where if it were understood how this system works, the only choice is to stand and organize a system of support for all life and then to vote in this system, as protest of just an act of blame, where an act of blame is not an actual physical act of reorganization, where this will take all of us, and if we expect another to stand then earth will end, where we fear losing our jobs within a system that will be the death of us, so the challenge is to stand, the one thing feared is the one thing needed to be done, as this is common sense, because it is the fear that is the illusion, thus the thing feared is the only way through to be faced to reach heaven on earth. There is no other choice.

No one is coming to save anyone, as the gift of life is being given, to realize fear is the illusion and that there is only one way to realize this and that is to walk through it, and that each and every one of us must do this all by ourselves, thus there is not one to do this for you and me but ourselves. alone to become all one.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear emotions and reactions within others, to fear looking, where myself imposing my own beliefs and opinions and ideas, is one and the same as myself fearing to look.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not realize that I have the tools of self forgiveness, writing,  corrective application and breath, within and as the principle of oneness in equality as what is best for all is best for self, here

I commit myself to no longer standing up and allowing myself to sigh and turn away, in and as the avoidance character, in and as a belief that I know and am not accepted or not understood, which is my self just wanting to be right, where I have separated myself from myself as life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to realizing that every moment where an interaction is not resolved to a point of equality is an act of the mind wanting to win something, wanting to survive, existing in more than and less than, where myself as equality is wanting to be more and not myself moving into and as, one and equal to, life, as life is all as one as equal here, as this is the only choice.

I commit myself to breathing, to forgiving myself to and as what I am, to stop the movement within and as myself as energy, as emotions and feelings and thoughts, to bring the pieces of myself back together again as all as one as equal here for the children to come, so that they may become one and equal as life, here.

I commit myself to realizing that the present system, accepted and allowed on earth must change to a system of oneness and equality, where all life is supported, where all forms are dignified as the life that they are.

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