The storm is only as big as I allow it Day 775

Yesterday a local person I have known for years sat and talked with me. The degree of the use of hyperbole, which uses labels intensified with value judgements, in the words and descriptions used told no real story other than techno-colored dream coat. lol. The word ‘ techno’ I recently discovered as being ‘ skill.” Thus, ‘ techno’ colored, if color is a way to frame emotion, would mean the skill of using colored, or polarized values. 

This is such a busy work. If I took what was said, I would have absolutely no understanding of what was really happening as actions about and in, and of the reality around me. None. Astounding. 

Such a techno of emotion and feeling expression, can appear to be so loud, and so real, and of such force, it would be hard to counter it, if one was of a focus on this without any sense of objectivity. I can imagine a child trying to decode this. It would be a chaos, and of little real value. And, it is of such a punishing state,  the blows of and as it, would be something to run from. It would also, in the process of learning to ‘ read’ this, really slow down one’s ability to put things into a balanced order.  Such behavior would require a protracted learning process, and divide one from what is more natural. I mean, look, when someone talks about something, with a more complete and effective understanding, it is enjoyable to hear, because it lends more here-ness.  If we look, so much of the time- the chronology of our creations as words, are a spin in an motional roller coaster. I feel at this moment, that what I learned so much of, was how to ride the roller coaster!  A cool-aid to get along and go-along, to survive. 

One thing I notice about myself, done within looking at contrasts as my behavior, is a day when I became so angry in a family situation, to the point where I could say, I could only see black within me. In that moment, being that, as in being that anger, that was that of which I speak, this form of a intense desire to resist and push away, reject and punish in a verbal way, with some find of ‘ force,’ was, in that moment, suddenly, not the place to go. Another process of elimination. In that moment, no matter what, being that intense emotional reaction, even if I was correct, was unacceptable. The subsequent sense was of not wanting to go into that kind of reaction, and yet not being clear on a more directed order , time-chronology, to move as.  I had become the skill of colored values, and in a moment, saw no real purpose within it, and yet, had not built a real purpose, with a real principle to stand as in stead, as myself.  And yet, the illusion, is that who and what I am is actually, and always is, right here. This is all an order of sorting out the focus of myself as the hyperbolized technology I accepted and allowed, and instead considering and valuing who and what I am in total. 

I did notice, at times, and was aware of , at times, of myself trying to force something onto a scenario. I was trying to force this ‘ story’ out in front of me, as a projection as a composition of ‘ stuff’ as a consequence of movements, more of making some values HUGE over others, as a ‘ thing’ right there, in the moment, in front of me. I would become increasingly more intense in forcing my storied creations out in front of me, as me. I was not even aware of how much I was doing this, as all focus was on that creation, that entity, that thing, of a picture, of ideas, that were,  inchoate.  I had the sense that this is what I was doing. Behind it, was a sense of hopelessness, that had no emotion. I would call it a ‘ hopelessness’ of truth, because there in the corners of the storm, was an awareness that what i was being had no real value. I suppose that grew, as what is within us, as what is accepted and allowed, grows, as it comes up again and again until it is bigger and unable to be denied. what one practices, works both ways. A more perfect practice, as more recognition and respect of the physical as life, would bring forth greater awareness and real effective creation and presence. My separation from the game of spewing emotional values, also had an observer of and as realizing the lack of real effect such behaviors allowed in my immediate environment.  We ll know what we do, thus there is no real excuse! 

When I really knew a piece of music, and or was comfortable in producing the sounds that made music, I could ‘ move around in it’ so-to-speak. I could tweek it, play within it. I could change values within the order or succession of sounds. It was like I could ‘ walk in it.” 

Words are the same. 

 Yesterday, while being in the presence of a projection of value judgements, all I could do, was to watch this, take a time-line from it, as the objects on which expletives as value judgements colored, and use what understanding I had, as most of what was talked about was about things far away,  and draw more effective relationships towards realizing the practical, via looking at what is right here in my world, as the very order, and lack of care for the reality around me. Meaning, realizing what is good for all things as what would improve what is here around me, as simple things, like caring for a home, having a home that is not more than what one practically needs, the state of the environment around me, the use of the environment, the degree of focus on all things, as others around me, the patterns of behavior in my local area, etc. One example of a small thing, is the realization that a young man, who walked up and down my street many times, suddenly was no longer there, and not because he had moved, because he had died of a drug overdose. What has been accepted and allowed, as an overall hyperbolization of limited values, causing storms of non-focused potential, are right outside our doors, we need only look. 

To suddenly bring all this forward, in the face of that same state of being, as I had suddenly realized, through a process of elimination, as being ineffective, yet at a loss, because of a lack of correct practice and use of myself, - to being the practical forward, with many details, as best I can, in the face of a dramatic value system, would take patience and persistence, to essentially bring forth was is more natural, as who and what we really are, before a separation into hyper-poles of judgement , creating a vortex, like an inversion of self that eats the physical substance of self,  and creates a self that does not realize life. Dis-covering in this regard, out of a mis-use of self, is to open a window, where the window was built by the self, and that outside world, was always there, as it is that life right here.

In relation to being subjected to what has become a norm, to some degree. I could see, where non-reactions towards this, and a focus into a greater and clearer order of the practical, did not feed that emotional storm. And that storm, couldn't define who I was choosing to be, as the very presence of my attention. I reality, there was no real worth within moving into that storm, and yet,  to look at it, though a practice of sorting this out remains, in some ways, I have always known what I made into a not-known. Thus, I can blame no one but myself, and even that must be forgiven, as it has no real equality and oneness with the substance of life that is right here, and always has been. 

What is LOOKING ; continued Day 770

What is LOOKING continued.

Lately, I so notice when I have missed what is right in front of me. An example is having used a kitchen device. This device has a tool that comes with it, to process the food more effectively. The other day, while using this device, I stood there at the counter, looking for this apparatus, and could not see it. When I was done, I found it, it was right next to me. I can’t even remember if this was in plain sight all the time, of partially hidden under the machine itself.

I just stood here, looking at where I had been that I did not see this that was right in front of me.

I also notice that after the fact, as in not in the moment I am in ‘ action,’ with hindsight I realize patterns around me. I do not see them in the moment they move, in that moment they are actualized. Somehow, my processing of here, is not being lived in the moment. I remain in a non-looking at what is right here, right in front of me. What can be me as not looking, or only looking as recognizing patterns with hindsight, is myself being, as accepting a morality that is not being present and processing form and movement and expression as what is actual mourned me, here, in this reality. I am so used to, as habituated with not looking. I am showing myself what I have allowed. 

I am mis-using my presence. What I have created myself as, as the things on which I focus, as values, are not in consideration of this living reality, this that is the means of me being here. This that is what and who I am in totality. I am exiting within a limited paradigm. Para-di-gm. I exist as a para - something projected from myself before reality,  of division - as value judgements of good and bad , g- generating, m- me. I am the creator of myself. What have I do I generate and create as the very presence of and as me? It is, not here ness, because I am missing what is in plain sight. 

What I am looking at here, is why I realize patterns with hindsight and not in the moment? That I am able to realize patterns, means that I realize them. This begs the question, and I know I am repeating here, as to why I do not stand in recognizing the patterns in the moment? Obviously, if i can realize patterns within musical notes, to the degree that I balance myself out in an instance, I can do this within value judgements as ideas, beliefs and opinions, wants, desires and needs , in a moment too! After all, this is all values, and a note is a value, it is a thing, with shape and color as the nature of its expression. 

It is because is my value system is limited, as a narrow framework, or a limited scaffold, or a paranormal construct, as a memory resonance within me, and I ONLY see that, I cannot be in the presence of all things, here. I am in separation. I mean, come-on, at this point in this existence, we know to wrote out our emotions, and we know we hold memories that are polarized as value judgements. We can no longer hide behind this, or allow this that we know, to be made larger than life. Nor can I. 

Even in health practices, we understand that stress is detrimental to the body. Stress is a mis-processing of reality. It is reality out of whack, it is a ‘ head trip” as such.  A head trip is a paranormal event.  To exist as a head-trip, means to manipulate words,  and pictures. I say pictures, because a picture is used to trigger ideas, beliefs and opinions, superimposed on that picture, as what is a parable, and what is analogies? They are constructs of values placed into symbols, as a thing in picture, or an object, and as such the recognition that we are walking in a bubble of a morality that is not being present in reality. How does one think onion layers work? How does one think a loss of spatial skill happens? LOOK, it is right here, in the math, right in front of us! Right in front of ME, because I am the same, because I drank the cool-aid. I became what i hated, because I was that child, before it was imposed with the math/limited-dogma of a relying/religion of some afterlife adult authoring who and what I am so I would not be self responsible because I feared being this, in relation to what is a resonant construct of separation from reality, which is physical. 

I cannot fear remaining stable and steady and grounded in the physical, feet on the ground, realizing and bringing back into focus on reality, as this HUGE valley of smoke and mirrors, as value judgements, as manipulation of sound, as pictures and words, airy fairy and all around me. I am, essentially, in a head-trip when I cannot, in real time, see what is in plain sight, and read the patterns of my own self created separation. I mis-used my own capacity as life. The only way out, is to face the storm, and take back what would bring joy, as what is natural as me, as myself as life, which means focusing and being present HERE. 

One of the ways of separation, is to take a tiny good, which is a good, and to make that huge, and create an endless discussion around it. It is like being in a church and singing praises again and again and again, and then thinking one is good for doing so. Quite astounding. This is a from of avoidance, or ignorance, within hiding behind a busy work of value judgement. The mis-take of self being equal to life is done with limitation, which means not acknowledging all things, and instead taking one small value, turning it into an idol and standing within that at the expense of the world during down around one. This is what is meant by doing nothing as being as evil as participating in the thing itself. There is no difference between the two, because they are both a lack of acknowledgement of practical reality, as the physical in expression in form and function!  It is said , that to tell someone a lie, which is playing the game of separation which has a color of limitation and ignorance, does not really make a person angry. Why, because it is like an army of defense, supporting it state of limitation. It is like, we are both lying, and we accept that. Yet, when one points this out, the one playing the game, must answer to an acceptance of lack, that is not being self responsible as life, which can generate reactions in support of that lack, and demand for change. This will make a construct of limitation react. Thus a real truth ( remember no dogma is going to support you if you cannot breathe) in relation to not being in consideration of all things, will cause the lie to react. That reaction will bring forth defense of that lie, in a kind of scream. Why? Because the scream is what the lie has been existing as, because it takes an intense effort to be that. And since we know it is all memories of value judgements, and this is a math happening real fast as the individual movements that generate this, because we accumulate what we accept to define us, this all plays out real fast, with the parts no longer specifically recognized, that we cannot slow down, we have to scream what we have allowed, to actually see it. And it is in plain sight. And it can no longer be allowed, because it is not equal to all life, of which the physical is the means of and as. The body, the physical allows and is breath, not that limited morality. No way out. 

I remember being a mother of young children. I remember my children sometimes suddenly, after a pause, turning from other adults. Then, they would, with careful movement, acclimate to some adults and interact with them.  I notice this in my nephew as well. When I have not seen him for a while, he will stare at me, with a subtle down turn around the mouth, and a turning away from me, to then slowly interact with me. he is simply reading me, as my children read other adults and sometimes reacted by turning away, as a ‘ not wanting to look’ scenario.  I realize, that within and as my own construct of not looking, as playing the limited morality game instead of remaining present in that which allows me to exist as breathe here, that i am being the same as what my children turned from. They had simply acclimated to me, in survival. 

Children will participate in a reality that has adults in bubbles of separation, as where else to they have to go? They will build, practice and interact, even within limitations around them. The desire to practice language, in this one case, is so strong, as building within that, that the child will repeat, again and again and again, what is being said and what is being pointed out, in real time, just being and moving around in the physical reality of one’s environment. lol, I was singing a song in relation to toy buses, a simple song, about the wheels of the bus going round and round, and the child laughed and screamed AGAIN! This happened so many times I can’t remember how many time I sang this, but it was a joy to see the child taking it in and beginning to mimic it. Somehow the awe of wheels going round and round, and perhaps the words being a means of describing that amazing physical thing, is all good! Perhaps, in relation to this, my body generating and being in a form, was also a part of the joy. This joy a joy of being physical, nice and simple and great fun in being in expression, as cool and breathing. Better than any picture show in the mind, emitting from the flesh, as a resonant memory. Can’t wait to see what happens when we try and sew heads onto new bodies. A thought we already tried the Frankenstein scenario and found out that it did not work! I mean, there are findings oaths world, where evidently, the whole nuclear experiment has been done, in a time before out time, as the signature of this is left on the physical.  We are, because of our accepted and allowed separations running on treadmills of limitations as value judgements spending out lives in head trips. Meanwhile, the earth shrinks, just as we shrink into a dried up white and grey prune like thing with no spatial presence left. We drank the kool-aid.

We don't have to drink the cool-aid, we can, come back down to earth, and face the smoke and mirrors of energy - as what a limited value system can only exist as because it has no sustainability, because it is not equal to life.  We can place our presence in out bodies, as respect of what is real, and ground ourselves here, equal and one to life, which is physical. I can step over the line of my own accepted and allowed participation of and as limited scaffolds of information that must be composed of good and bad, right and wrong, forcing a limited value forward, making it HUGE, and myself calling this out, in self discovering ways and means, to remember myself as who and what I am as life here, realizing breath is greater and more real than any idea resonantly projecting as my own self creation, in front of me, and instead ground myself here. 

Why do we not ask ourselves why the PHYSICAL thing we become within us, is the MOST EXPENSIVE thing to build? And that this inner creation, is the MOST IMPORTANT ‘ thing’ in our lives?  Educating that, forming that costs more in this world than our homes, or our cars, or our ‘ THINGS’ we accumulate believing these ‘THINGS” to hold a value, when the greatest VALUE is the ‘ THING’ we become within and as the creation of who and what we are here. Ask yourself? 

And why, if the child the POOREST thing in the world?  Why is that which is not yet built which costs the MOST to build, is in the most VULNERABLE state? 

How is it, that I can’t see what is in PLAIN SIGHT? 

Ask yourself? Get mad, then change. Accept and recreate yourself as LIFE. Walk the process of change, get your word skills moving. Realize the patterns within and in one’s environment, AND on the world stage. Your are, as what you as as a physical being, the most perfect of means to do so. RESPECT the labor of those who are bringing this forward.  In this present system this means GIVING in monetary means. It need not be as much as the system costs, yet that labor must be supported, after all it is what you would have wanted for yourself.

Thank you for reading. 

More on Processing Information . Day 756

I have decided to do a 21 day consistent blog post. Something that I have not done for a while.

Why? To realize patterns, to improve the ability to see how I move every day. To practice realizing patterns to increase my recognition of patterns of behavior and by extension, call them out by name, because like using a metronome to speed up processing,  I become more than just doing one aspect of something, as in learning an instrument, learning to play an instrument, I do not ONLY learn one thing and add it to the whole, I build in becoming aware of all parts. 

Everyone has something unique about them, we all realize that, this that one could say is somehow lost as we get older.

And everyone has ideas, beliefs and opinions, after all do we not know the beliefs of our friends?  DO we not argue about the political denominations and what they believe should be brought forward as a value? Why is it that we endlessly debate this? We argue about phonetic teaching and whole word teaching, when the process involved both. It is actually some of both. The action of reciprocity between the two takes one forward. It is like a movement into greater and greater balance.

This morning i woke up and moved to make a cup of coffee. I stopped, because i have added something else that i am doing before I make a cup of coffee. As I found myself moving to make the coffee before this added activity, it was as though I could see, as I was lead, by that habit, that was like a cloud around me. It had a definite division between the space of here and myself, and it appeared as something projected outside of myself. Remember many talk about a veil. 

I mean, ask yourself, when you become emotional about something, which has the quality in behavior of resisting something, what that movement is? Could you, if you looked, sense the tension in the space of that? I mean, why is it that we can go to the ocean and sense a lightness, an airiness in the space? Why is it that we can go and walk in nature and sense what appears, or could be called a presence in itself? Just because the information that composes that habit I have changed in the morning for myself cannot be ‘ seen’ what is it that is actually causing that movement to be automatic? Could it be as invisible as I believe? It was not there when I was a child because I did not have that habit? What was that ‘force” or movement around me that I could almost sense the edge of as I recalled what I had made a new decision to do and had to change out of? 

I mean, when I enter a group, because I want to get involved, do I  enter into the group to acclimate to the composition of information, as that body of directing information as the habit of making coffee first thing in the morning that I had to change up to do something new?  When I enter into a new group, am I moving to compose myself to that body of information? Yes, and it is probably natural, habituated with a focus so much on that, that one has forgotten how that following of information is built. In this, one is walking around in resonant bubbles of information, acclimating one’s own resonance to others, with friction when the two are different, as one has forgotten to become silent, to realize potential from a starting point of seeing not only this consequence of resonance but also that which is the physical reality around us that can when one is near the ocean, a remembrance of that sense of lightness that happens when one is near the ocean. 

It is just like learning a language. The language of math, for example. As one practices the basic algebra, one moves with more ease and greater processing ability to the point where one sees the equation and the answer at the same time. If one does something like this in a narrow focus, one can forget the whole and become as I was potentially moving this morning, moving as habit, as a set body of information creating a resonant model, and potentially forgetting the new movement I had made the decision to be and do that I managed to catch and change, and also, could almost, in such a subtle way, sense the outer line of that bubble that must be composed of information that I projected and followed as me. 

It is somewhat like learning vibrato on the violin. I started slow, set the boundaries, and then speed up the movement until it became manageable and natural, the magic being in the doing of the thing. I had to move beyond automation, because sometimes one speed of vibrato worked well in one case, and another in another case. I had to be in control of it, every tiny measure of and as it. Otherwise, it ran me away from myself, and I became uncertain with and as it. 

I ask myself how much I do not slow down to enter into a moment with a clear slate, to not only see my habits within this, but also to see the potential, which I would call change as acceptance and embracing of what is here. This means to realize my own patterns of behavior, and the composition of such patterns in others around me, and what is equal in presence to the living reality around me. 

I see, realize and understand how this that I was this morning before I caught myself, that I was walking in on the valley of earth, and standing in a bubble of values that were quite literally a movement of good and bad, right and wrong, more than and less than, no longer questioned and habituated, of a presence creating a veil of directing information that was a shadow and not myself being present here. It was myself not aware of who and what I am as a living man on a physical planet. I had created/composed a shadow world that I followed instead of being aware of this, and myself here. 

Ask yourself why with age, a sense of space is lost, as one begins to lose one’s natural spatial sense. Ask yourself why in high school, one language as math or language can become something one feels one is not good at? Is this not a red flag that one’s sense of measure has narrowed to the extent one has already  become beliefs filled with associative thinking that has the behavior of resistance to some things and acceptance of others? Is that not the beginning of a loss of real critical and creative thinking/presence/awareness?  Is that not the loss of  being able to change and look here? Is that not the beginning of walking in the valley of smoke and mirrors and only seeing the composition of one’s accumulated value judgements? 

If I can sense the edges of vibrato on a string, can’t I sense the edges of an entity of belief directing a body, just as I did this morning , and do in certain social situations? Does pushing against and resisting such things  allow the two minds of and as this to meet?  Is this how we have come to ignore and abuse this real living physical reality, as that on which our feet are placed that is real? 

Until tomorrow. Thank you for reading. 

The more-than and the less-than symbols The Olympics of the mind Day 715

I can catch more and more myself moving into a spin in my mind, churning information around. Ugh.

Within this, I have a memory that is of a movement. It is myself, as a child, squeezing myself into something, like trying to fit into a piece of clothing that is too small. Is this myself, as that child, trying to see the way my parents see, to get along, to go along, or did I do this without judgement , just to try it out, out of curiosity and then get caught in the web, where I began to chase the promise of this that I was lost in that was the impetus to chase the promise of a more, a greater-than? lol, another memory comes up of using the greater and less-than symbols in elementary school. The  < and the > symbols. I remember being very confused by these symbols, I remember forcing myself to focus on them, as though I did not want to take this in. It seemed such a small and useless thing.  It has value. I guess. lol. 

Did this then lead to becoming a member of the code of these symbols, and then I started to play with such symbols, believing myself to be more intellectual, while ironically at the same time being scared that I did not see the obvious meaning of these strange symbols right away as I compared myself to my peers, the ones who had already crossed into being in understanding of this code? Did I define myself as my shame that was based on comparison that was a starting point of competition? These symbols were no longer ‘ only what they were’ they became something else, they had an emotional back log, one that become a resonant part of me, and remained to be a part of a shield of belief about myself that I carried around and had to process through as I moved myself in reality. I wonder if this was at about the third grade, that age, that period where the promise in children who have not accumulated such baggage can still process the objects in the world, even the value judgements in others that are the same stuff of accumulated baggage that begins to slow down one’s innate ability to process information. Was I entering this stage where as the infamous TED talk suggests that by the third grade child can no longer come up with 100 ways to use a paper clip. I probably entered the age of my own suppression of a natural ability through a layered emotionally charged story self accepted and self created, that started with myself squeezing myself to fit into that same outcome in my parents that lead to following an idea of a more, when I was that more to begin with!

This is the reason for the tool of self forgiveness and self corrective application, to use that great technology that is your physical body, that is by nature of great neural plasticity, to remove, through forgiveness those limited and polarized self judgements and to restore who and what you really as, as you as life, able and capable of realizing hundreds of ways to use a paper clip.

If not for yourself, at least do it for life, for the children to come, and the many sentient beings on this earth that abundantly surround us. The system of scarcity is an illusion, yet to step out of this, each must accept who and what they are as life, and realize their potential. No one can do this for you, you must do this for yourself. 

Join us. There are tools, and they are here to help you help yourself. Time to get this done.

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity
https://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_changing_education_paradigms

Day 682 Is the metered measure within, as personality, grounded without as the practical necessity of real living on a physical world?

The longer I walk the process of my journey back to life, I realize how much music is very similar to this process. In music one can sometimes play a piece that changes the time signature from measure to measure. This means adjusting one’s sense of measure in time and space in a moment, from measure to measure.

As I slow down and look at what I have accepted and allowed as a mind consciousness system, the meter and measure of this is like a song that is quantum, meaning it has measures that have patterns and tenors as qualities that change in color and duration and form, they are like a metered measure that I have allowed to define who and what I am. 

In this, the mind consciousness measure that I have accepted and allowed is a metered form, thus it is in many ways a mathematical form that because it was accepted can be realized for what it is and changed. The starting point is to realize that before I was any of this information, I was not yet defined by culture and class and the education as the experiences that  are who and what I am as a personality of that information selected and used to define me, which I then protected myself within and as. 

For a long time now, in interacting with others, the racing measure of belief, opinion and idea, and my own movement within and as my accepted and allowed metered measure of information, was too much to sort through, it all seemed like thus huge entity that was impossible to infiltrate. And yet, that ability to slow down and start picking away as the measure of beliefs and the consequences of fear as loss of such measures, appeared too thick and too deep to sense and then direct within and without.

Yet, if I look at music, at moving measure, I can slow down and listen to the point where this is not so overwhelming, because it is in many ways a song, a mathematical form that has duration, tempo etc. And it is always a perspective about reality, as it is not reality, it is like a movie that is what separates us from being present and caring, steady and resourceful in our daily living. Our daily living is here, on this physical world, this starting point, this “before” a personality began to dominate our self directives, which are our actions.

I have used a protection and self defense measure within and as my chest area for so long that it actually hurts to change this. When there is pressure there, the only thing I have found to help is to change my meter so- to- speak. This means slowing way down and looking here, seeing the meter and measure of what is before me. This means that I have to feel, with all of me, and then within this, it means that I have to respond.  I must become self responsible to and towards that. What I  have found is that when I slow down and describe that, as the behaviors and the consequence of such behaviors and how they play out in real time, I place myself within a picture show and describe that picture show. This has to be done in such a way that the person to whom I talk can begin to see the measured show in more detail.

An example of this happened this past week. I was talking to a woman who had some issues with weight. I said to her that boredom can be as stressful as having too much to do. Overall, this is a lack of real focus in the moment. Our full ability is not in employment. She looked at me and said that made so much sense. In her case, there were habits of eating to ‘ fill the time’ and relax from juggling a busy day. It is as though I am within a performing orchestra, I can stand in the measure sung as the words and movements and begin to call things by name in the grounding order of slowing down and seeing the movement with all of me. It is calling things out and then work on building the structure to allow the real potential of what could exist as a living that is of more ease  because being present and realizing our within movements and how we can ground ourselves in the practical and use the practical to order in ways that are not as overwhelming as we might believe from a perspective of that racing behavior that is a perspective of reality and not what is real.

Within this, I must begin to trust myself, which means that I must touch what is here, remain in touch with the physical. This is an active thing, it is, in a sense to love all things as in not fearing them. This, through a process of elimination, means that love is in a way something that is easy. Love is what is natural when the absence of resistance is here as who and what I am as I no longer reject the physical world or fear the metered measures of belief, opinion and idea as a mind consciousness system that is a memory only and is of a practiced measure, so it is often repetitive..  Even here, as I write this out, I become calm, steady, even with a sense of the pulls of value judgements that I have accepted and allowed to define who and what I am as habits of information of a perspective that was me in separation from the value being equality and oneness to and as life here as the physical. I realize that there is a lot to learn, and a lot of practice within and as being what is the real nature of and as me, which is to love or evolve into being present and respectful of the physical as life information.

Is it not time to realize that that which has been made huge , as a mind consciousness, must become as tiny as it really is, in relation to the physical, and ground ourselves in the practice of walking with two feet on the ground and moving the shadows of separation into their real significance which is but a fleck in time and within this, to see, realize and understand that the value is the physical world as this is life information that is creation. And this creation happens when we all work together moving as individuals and yet one. This would look much like a flock of birds, dancing and moving fluidly with ease and shaping this world into a living and breathing expression of the joy of creation.

It is time to walk ourselves back into the physical wold, to practice the value being life. One can start within walking the DIP Lite process to understand the warping of reality as the information we define ourselves within and as, that separates our real potential into limited values that become emotions and feelings. The emotion being the fear and the feeling being the justification for not having sorted out the fear. The fear a momentary loss of self as life being present and here.

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Day 659 Stopping Imagination to realize the value of being present.

I woke up in the morning And I noticed that I readily went into my imagination. I had to stop.

It is like a pull into something to do, to be. Behind which one can create an outcome that allows one to win in one’s mind. And it has nothing to do with being here. It has nothing to do with reality, the physical.

It is like running down some hole, that spins, like a vortex. One can jump from one to another, and end up in total separation from reality.

And it lacks the ease that comes with doing. Like when one stands on a stage in a hall, and fills the space with sound - understand’s one is doing this, and realizes it is cool and can be played with, like paint on a canvas- I suppose. Yet here I try and think through metaphor what the difference is between doing and imagining.

If the hall were not there, how could I enjoy what the sound does? In this, I need the physical world. What is happening in my mind when I am focused, within paying attention to what the sound I make is doing, is a silence.

There have been times when I played, and I was so in fear of what others would think, or so in fear that I would make a mistake, that my attention was more on the lack, on this potential of missing something, and all the possibilities of that missing, that I had no awareness of what the sound I was making was doing as it moved out into the room. My presence was on an imagination within me, composed of  an idea of lack, instead of being present with the physical and assessing, in this instance, how the sound I made with the instrument was moving in the space that I was in.

Fear is a fickle thing, one can go into it and find there is nothing of any real substance there; on the other side there is nothing, because imagination is but a film in the mind, meaning, a film of a limited story, it is not what is real thus it has no real form. If men  believe imagination  to be more real than the physical, the behaviors become of the film, and not of the reality, and the film is then imposed on the physical, in thought, word and deed. This is where harming the physical comes in, because imagination is forcing itself onto reality, the physical. Imagination is not bad, it is just this, imagination. It is a means to double check something, and nothing else. The physical must always be cross referenced.

It is like the Matrix movie, yet men are walking around with the bubble around their heads, not yet in a literal womb-bubble. In the matrix the physical has been forced into supporting an imaginative world, to generate electricity. We are not there yet, we still have some animals and trees and grasses left. In the Matrix, there are none of these things, the physical landscape is dead of that kind of life, that formation. Yet if we realize how much we have moved into watching screens, then we an see where we are going. 

The irony is that we want to remember ourselves to the physical world, because being creators with the physical, has an ease that imagination cannot when made more real than reality as the physical world. When one is moving with the physical world one is in full focus, full employment as the physical, where creation becomes manifested, where one would only choose what does no harm, because one harms the very thing one needs to hear how that sound moves in that space as that hall- so to speak. The imagination cannot have the application and response that a physical form can have.  We abdicate responsibility when we decide that our imaginations are greater than reality as the physical world. What we have in the world today is each abdicating life for their imaginations, causing a fear of common sense, because common sense shows who accepted imagination over life. Common sense of the physical reality, which means no single movement of blame and spite, is what self as life really is. This is giving unto another as one would have given unto themselves- understanding what directs in practical ways.

My body is an instrument. For this to be in full employment, I must realize that the physical world is what is real. This comes before imagination, hence it is to re-member myself equal and one with the physical world. Instead I have learned to float in imagination, to place my presence, into imagination instead of learning to focus myself here, respecting the means of myself as the physical world.

It is interesting to see that when I have approached something  with an inflated value within myself, meaning that I was not present in my experience, the next time I am in that same space, what I previously allowed as a judgement ( which is what an inflated value is) is still there, until it is not! This means that I must forgive what measures I focused on that were not myself focusing on what is real, as the physical world that is here, right in front of me. In other words, one could say, I lacked real presence. I missed the life that was real, practical, a gift.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from reality, from the physical in every breath, from being present here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that the imagination in and as my mind consciousness is more than the physical reality surrounding me that is me, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to answer to the pull of my accepted and allowed information in and as my mind to become the consequence of separation from reality, the means of myself as life in expression here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to, play the savior in and as my imagination in and as my mind, to believe that I am a winner, motivated by the alternative of a fear of loss, a fear of worst case scenario outcome, thereby missing the practical real measure of the physical world that is me, without which I am not in full employment of myself as life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fear making a mistake

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I must compete to win.

I forgive myself  for accepting and allowing myself for not focusing myself here, in respect of reality as the physical, enjoying creation, as the means of my existence here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to imagine worst case scenarios, instead of becoming what I am, as my ability to sense reality, being within this the directive principle of life, which is the presence of myself here, focused on reality, and within this, realizing that around me are hued men, who seek self responsibility as life, meaning equality and oneness with and as the physical world here.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to breath in every moment, to assess myself in every moment, as I have accepted and allowed an imagination to become larger than life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand that when and as I believe real living is impossible, I am in the memory of my past, as having believed what measure I accepted and allowed within my imagination, and the consequence therein, is how reality works, that I am only capable of mistakes on reality, a distraction from being responsible here, as this is only more imagination, filled with self blame, hence I slow myself down and I breath, and I ground myself here, equal and one to being present in the practical measure of what is here in this moment, to ground myself into the means of living, as the physical world, to enjoy placing my presence here, to become equal and one to the sound of life, here.

When and as I find myself moving into a presence of fear, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down and I see, realize and understand that I am moving into my past in blame and idea of doom and gloom, as a picture show in and as my imagination only, a polarized version that is not equal to the practical as the measure of the physical world,  and I stop, I place myself here, to walk the next step  here.

When and as I find myself weighed down within and as my movement here, as my physical I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down to see realize and understand how I have programmed myself to sense reality around me, to instead ensure that I am present and aware of what is real around me, and not a limited measure of idea that I have allowed to direct me time and again, a measure as energy/judgement I accepted and allowed, that started with the small and accumulated into how I direct myself to exist as a presence in and as a mind consciousness instead of real presence cross referencing with every breath life that is physical and here.

Day 589 Who am I within the culture of women. Day 4 Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

This is a point of projecting value judgements onto situations and the objects outside of me as those involved in the situations that are actually normal interactions I must walk logistically in space and time. All of this is a form of protection and self defense based on a self definition used to survive instead of being grounded in  practical reality. I allow myself to become a measure of my own judgement, a burden I carry, a burden I created, a burden I allowed, one that is stagnant because it does not look at cause and effect,  consequential outflows practically. Thus, it is time for me  to remove my own reaction to this and stand within what, in comparison, would be a brutal self honesty. Problems, as conflicts and friction, are resistances to a movement that is self being responsive in consideration of being a physical expression as what I am in reality here. I am becoming a very limited perspectives that is by its limitation a split from remaining in common sense of reality. This entails, practically being what removes emotional defining values, and places oneself , feet on the ground, here in physical reality because this is where we actualize ourselves, this is where we eat, and we breath, and we live and see our children become physical adults. 

Because humans have accepted and allowed an inner measure to become one of value judgements instead of accepting physical formation as what life would be, which is an aid to see our creation, our state of beingness, we have created a gap from reality, one that consumes creation as it does not consider the means of what builds a form that allows the very platform of life. We need the physical to see what manifests and to understand what works and what does not. When we ignore the physical, and ignore what is an inconvenience, because we base what is real on idea without cross reference and practical application of an idea, we destroy what has the ability to sustain and as such withstand the test of time. The only way to create a stable existence is for each to become self responsible, to become responsible to the physical, to respect it, to always consider it with every move we make. And the irony is that focusing here, on what is real, is how to live the fulfillment of life, it is what would bring joy, it is actual living, meaning it is to act as life in answer to the form of what and who we are in reality, here. There is no other choice, and it is the voice of what is best for all. It is the most beautiful choice - so to speak. It is what we all long for the most. Self forgiveness, and writing and practical application is the way to remove the complicated, and to become life. It is the way to clean up the storm of separation spiraling out of control within. It has always been here right in front of us, we need only accept it and accept the gift of life, the joy of life, which is to accept the physical as the foundational manifestation of life. And to realize that men have imposed so many value judgements on the physical that over time it has influenced reality and is destroying it, as inequality to life, is separation from life, and cannot sustain life.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to become a character of self interest, not allowing myself as life to express myself, to be responsible for and as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project value judgements onto others without taking the time and space, as using myself as life, as the gift of life, to investigate and consider all things, which is to respect the physical, which is to focus here, practically.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I have no responsibility as life, as I have accepted and allowed myself as value judgements to exist within a bubble of my own imagination to be more than another, to be more than what is here as the way and the means of life, which is the physical, in substance, where I allowed my own self inner rests of spite and blame, justification without practical application to determine what and who I am, and thereby separating myself from life, and as such from solution , from allowing the fulfillment of life as what I am here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to project values of good and bad, right and wrong onto others, as this has no practical application into solution, into understanding of what is here practically as the physical, and resolving uncertainty and insecurity as fear of loss, into what is directive as what is self honest in aligning myself here, with the physical and investigating what does no harm, as this is what sustains and respects the physical world here, and is what leads to understanding.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have thoughts that someone is doing something to me, and to realize that nothing defines me but what I accept and allow, and even if a definition as a criticism comes, to understand that this is evaluation and examination, and could be me in a moment, but does not remain as such as I as life can change in taking responsibility for who and what I am and walking the practical application into self awareness, as in becoming aware of the physical, with every breath, considering here as me, as what is here is me in another life form, thus to do what I would want for myself as life here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that something is being done to me.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am inferior to here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I am superior to what is here, even if I happen to have walked into some understanding of some aspects of the physical that others may not have, as the only choice as life, is to give to another as what one would want for themselves, as this is a movement of respect for and as life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to not see, realize and understand the harm value judgements do to my human physical body, as I constrict and hide, within, as I allow an inferiority to life, as value judgements to spin within and as me, separating myself from creation, from being equal and one as movement of creating, which is to accept life as the physical and assess, as to investigate and consider all things to ensure that awareness in practical common sense actions are what is lived, thereby giving the gift of self discovery and as such the development of self responsibility, which each must take for themselves, which is to simply accept self as life, as the value being life, here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that becoming responsible is impossible, realizing that I have accepted and allowed, over time, myself to blame and spite, to fear and recoil, to move as  value judgements and as such stopping this and changing the directive of myself, using breath, and self forgiveness, will take some time, to turn the tide of my imagination and to within this, stop and look at what I have accepted and allowed, to then acknowledge this and reconstruct with directives that are what is best for all, to become an act that considers all life as the physical as practical actions that slow down and consider equality and oneness with and as the physical.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting myself to see, realize and understand that I as life, am the substance that can consider form and function here, and as such sense what is here, and see directly, taking time to investigate and cross reference, to also realize that nothing will be lost and everything gained, in considering the physical within and as the principle of what is best for all here.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to pity myself for what I have accepted and allowed as this has no real practical application into solution as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to want to hide in shame, as this has no practical application within standing and living equal and one to and as life here, which is to realize and respect what does no harm, as that which takes that which is good, and supports life.

I forgive myself for not allowing and accepting my own common sense, as the expression of life, as me, here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing emotional feeling bodies built of past experiences to define me here.

When and as I find myself projecting value judgements I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, and I stand here, in this moment, to ground myself here, to bring value judgements back to self, and to forgive, and to move into respect as consideration of all things, as I am the perfect machine as life to be and do such.

When and as I find myself , within this process of realizing myself as mind as having accepted and allowed a separation from equal consideration of physical existence, I stop and I breath, and I forgive such projections, imagination, fantasies, inner realities, and I slow way down, and cross reference, which is to cross examine with and as the physical in common sense as this is me, and I evaluate, and consider form and function, not only based on knowledge and information only, as what has been taught and I relate how knowledge and information actually practically directs here, to see, realize and understand what makes no sense, as what is not being considered as nothing can be left behind, as nothing can be allowed to become an externality, as nothing can be allowed to be eliminated through a mathematical manipulation of numbers through the use of a mean.

When and as I find myself facing a false dilemma, I stop and I breath and I slow myself down, to see, realize and understand where I am not equal and one in practical consideration of reality, which is a process of closing the gap of separation from myself as life into and as actions that cause no harm, taking that which is good, here.

When and as I find myself believing something to be impossible as in taking too much time, having too many steps, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I realize that I am competing with a focus on an idea that is not myself here walking in practical common sense of physical reality.

When and as I find myself fearing that something can be lost, I stop and I breathe and I slow myself down, and I realize that nothing can be lost, unless I accept and allow this as mind, as idea, as belief, as opinion, as I am here, able to see directly as practical reality, as the structure of how actions can support life.

When and as I find myself facing friction and conflict as the bully of fear of loss, as the voice of blame and spite, I stop and I breath, and I slow myself down, and I here the imaginations, the projections , the fantasies as the words used to describe such and the lack of words as what is not considered, and I take the parts of and as this, and I realize the form with empathy, and that this cannot define me unless I accept and allow it, which I can realize within and as me as a movement of taking such personally as an accepted and habituated reaction and I stop, I slow way down, I breath, until I am stable, as I do not allow bullets of value judgements in protection and self defense as my awareness, and I stop, I accept myself as life, as being responsible, as coming back to myself, grounding myself here, and cross referencing reality, the physical, to investigate through assessing the practical which means to examine the details, and evaluate possible actions and the play-outs of movement through looking at what is here in detail, which is an act of sharing here, to build understanding and to give self discovery as what I would want for myself, as this is the process of becoming equal and one as living the principle of what is best for all in thought word and deed.